Sibling Estrangement 101 : Why Are You Estranged?
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- čas přidán 25. 09. 2023
- Those bewildered by a cutoff with a sibling will benefit from this episode, Estrangement 101. What does it mean to be estranged? Has a sibling cut you out of his/her life? Is it for the best? Reduced communication, avoidance, emotional distance, conflict or tension, and physical separation are characteristics of estrangement. This episode is a primer to these painful sibling cutoffs. Here, we explore what estrangement is, what it feels like, and what you can do about it.
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**Ali-John Chaudhary, Psychotherapist**
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Sibling estrangement always comes down to the actions of the parent(s). They allow or foster the distance between the siblings for their own benefit.
Family are just a bunch of strangers we’re put on this planet with and expected to get along with.
My mother is the real problem and has already alienated others from the family. She also did so to me. I was somewhat of a scapegoat and I tried to stand up for myself and say no, I am in this family and I'm included. My sisters followed her lead and because of it I've been isolated for decades. I feel the love and I feel the need for my family and I'll reach out but most of them won't say anything. It never stops being heart-wrenching.
My hubby is voluntarily estranged from his 4 brothers and i think the brothers are from one another unless the wives make an effort on their behalf. So maybe brothers are more prone to estrangment? As for me, after going through a stressful period where my one sister and i have been working together over our mother's care recently...ive been seeing yet again how one sided our relationship is. Never asking about my life or even visiting me as 2 hours driving is too far for her to even consider it. We have met half way on occasion because we have been trying. And yet ive been driving that 2 hours distance for years to visit and to look after our mother while they didnt do much of that in reality. Her 30 year old 'boys' are also uninterested in me...and ive given my all in this respect to connect with them. Friendly, kind, understanding, the easy going auntie. But now im going to detach a bit from what i feel to be entrenched self centeredness following my mum going into a care home. It put to the test sibling issues! I do feel that inner battle ...one minute thinking I'm being too difficult about it, lacking in generosity of spirit, and then feeling no, ive had enough of being taken for granted, just like in our past. Glad to find your channel which is timely for me.😊
My sibling shouldn't be the least bit suprised that I never wish to speak to them again. Instead they incarnated themself as every single person, animal, plant, insect and bacteria on the planet. Wouldn't you say that is a little unfair and irrational behavior? How do you get away from a sibling like that? How do you get them to take the hint?
Toxic sibling rivalry is the cause of my family estrangement.
My sibling continued the cycle of abuse, and I broke it, so …
We need to allow parents to give up young children without judgement.
I left the circle because i wasn't part of it. Maybe i was being fooled and got showed off when I was a kid then
The 63 year old knew their birthdays? My siblings and I were born estranged. Covert mom made sure we never united, likely her worst nightmare that would uncover the family truth. 6 siblings. Now that's impressive control. I don't call myself estranged, which you touched on. I call it healthy choices on my part. Theirs is protection of the illusion. Make no mistake. Self awareness does not equate to not being the most horribly destructive soulless love abandoned pure ego state of being member of the family. Well, sis may get that trophy. She knows mom was covert. She knows she is covert. She knows I know. It only took one week for her to have the remaining siblings turn against me with her lies. Super impressive skills. If you ever need this service it can be arranged. Oh wait, the estranged thing. It can't be arranged but I suspect you already know someone b/c you are watching this video....ha
All these videos are so rich with information and insight. You deserve hundreds of thousands of views for all this effort which I am sure will come your way
I love you guys.
@Ali-John, These videos are very helpful! Hoping for new ones soon! Ive been rewatching older ones
I never saw the point of having a relationship with anyone where it only involves just holiday or burthday greeting. If its a year or two for a specific reason like someone especially busy thats one thjng bjt decades or.more what's the point. My thing is to try to speak with them about what i see as the problem n urge them to do likewise so it doesn't get that point but if it does id rather have none.
Consider the possibility that G_D intended you to have the genetics of your parents but did not intend you to share family life with them.
Had problems with my brothers (all acoholic) from Day One and they poisoned my aunts/uncles/cousins against me, so I have minimal contact with my brothers (I have no sisters) and I consider the LGBTQI Community my family of choice.
I'm trying to understand the way my brother has treated me and I want to feel that it's not ME that has the problem. I've searched high and low for answers and I've gone back through decades trying to find an answer and now I'm having to watch videos like this to give some sort of definition to the different things I feel. How do you get past the confusion and questioning your sanity?
I’ve estranged myself from my lil title sister and don’t know how to get out of it. We had a bad argument and she said I wasn’t a man. It’s been 4 years in the same house and every time I think about talking with her I get overwhelmed with anxiety and panic. I hate myself for this. How do I overcome these feeling and talk to hear and forgive
That first example was business and growing apart. Not the same as estrangement.
Hmmmm, I believe siblings growing apart and distant is normal biological behavior. It’s clear that animal siblings adore each other when young but rarely if ever interact as adults.