THAI WOMEN Married To Western Men - The PROBLEMS They Can Face ! (My Thailand Story Part 4)
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- čas přidán 19. 05. 2022
- Today's video is about the problems Thai women married to Westerners can face. I’m talking from personal experiences but highlight other issues that may arise. Please subscribe and feel free to leave a comment.
My Thailand story playlist below:
Hi guys, I forgot to leave the playlist for earlier episodes in the description. Started out as an FAQ video series, but has turned into a proper My Thailand story with part 5 and maybe even 6 on the way lol. All the best. playlist - czcams.com/play/PL90oZabZ2sL_rA988hT43qtVvhHmlQ-ld.html
About 10 years ago, I met this German dude in Pattaya. He gave me the highlights of his 25 years of courtship, marriage, house building and kids in Phetchaban. As Zorba the Greek intoned ".... The entire catastrophe."
He caught his breath. I inquired "... Well, what do you do now?"
He responded with a smile and a glow "....I rent an apartment off Soi Buakhao and take an occasional hottie, and THAT's as good as it gets!"
Wise words for us all.
He should have rented the land for 30 years in his name (where he built his house) for his family!
He could have ended up dead !
Great story. Great Zorba reference.
Thank you for your story very interesting. I live in Vietnam and have been married for 10 years . We have a lovely 6 year old daughter. The house is in my wife’s name , it’s an ok house but no land , typical Vietnamese terraced house. When we brought it she was telling everybody that we was renting, I found this very strange but she said the Vietnamese are very jealous and I came to realize what she was saying is true especially if they are married to a foreigner. We lead a very quiet lifestyle we don’t even have a car just a couple of Honda motorbikes. We have just had the house painted and new glass doors put on , they look very nice but the first thing the Vietnamese say is how much. What ever you by the first thing they would ask is how much. Thanks for the uploads.
Cheers, the how much ? Used to happen a lot, but haven't bought anything for a while. 😁 All the best mate.👍
Ohh same in the Philippines :-)
Great video, James. I can relate to some of it. My Thai wife came to America on a K1 fiance visa in 2007. I was worried that she would be lonely and bored with no family or friends while I went to work every day, but she got along amazingly. In Miami we had a Thai temple about 20 minutes away, and a few Asian markets here and there, and fortunately we met another American/Thai couple at a market. They lived in the Florida Keys, so we often went to visit them and go ocean fishing. My wife spoke poor English and no Spanish, and she couldn't drive. Without Spanish, good luck getting a job in South Florida. When I applied for and received a transfer to Seattle, it was so much better for her with a large Asian population, although she certainly didn't like the climate, which is exactly like England--often cloudy, rainy, and cold in winter. But I taught her to drive, she became a US citizen (totally aced the test), and began working in Thai restaurants, which are numerous in Seattle. For 12 years in America, we worked, saved money, bought land here in Thailand, built our nice house and, three years ago, retired here. As for social issues, there is jealousy from some Thai people, and too many wrongly assume that my wife must have worked as a prostitute in order to meet a "rich" Farang. There's also some comparing between Thai wives of their Farang husbands, their houses, cars, etc., but since I'm not old enough to be my wife's dad (I retired at 57, and I stay in good shape so I look even younger than I am), I come off just fine in the comparisons. 😉. And having lived in America for 12 years, my wife learned to care a lot less about what other people think than most Thai women. I'm very proud of my wife's accomplishments and maturity when compared to any other Thai woman in our area, and of how far we've come together.
The Americans gave away South Florida so readily. My Dad lives in Keys back in the 70s but I doubt he would recognize it today.
@@HairyPixels True.
Great comment mate. Interesting to hear your story. Spending time outside of Thailand seems to help many Thai wives deal with any negativity back home. Different experiences & perspectives etc. Thanks again.👍
@@HairyPixels no my friend. Florida was under Spainish crown rule way, way before it became American.
As a matter of fact Florida was under Spanish rule even before Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Ireland came together and form the UK, never mind the US being a nation yet.
And before the Spaniards there were the Semiole Indigenous people living there.
Many of those Hispanics in Florida are of Indigenous descent.
@@danwelterweight4137 Before 1821 you can tell me what the Spanish influence was in Florida and the native population. So those people are now justification for immigration from anywhere in Latin America? Everything built by whites post 1821 all belongs to them now???
The best thing for my wife was living in the states 6 years . There she saw people didn't judge her . When she moved back to Thailand , what people thought , she could careless . Same today 12 years here .
My wife spent 20 years in California. We worked at Costco and was loving the hard work there. Coming back now had her more disappointed in her own people in some ways.
Seeing another way of life /culture can certainly change one's perspective and helper filter out any negativity. Cheers.👍
Well, James, you hit the nail right on the head. Asian culture tends to take care of their family. It's just a way of life. The difference is that Western culture tends to respect individualism and self-dependant, so it can be a form of culture shock. Thailand is a third-world country so the money will always be a factor. Westerners should realize this before marrying an impoverished Thai girl/guy here. So, if you don't want to adopt an entire family then think twice before marrying her. Lastly, Asians are just plain racists. It prides itself on wealth, skin color, and beauty. You can hear and see it in everyday conversations and everywhere. I ought to know since I'm a dark skin Thai man. No matter how much education or money I have, Thai people will never see below my skin color, however, it is much better than it was, so there is still hope.
Well said bro....
As a black man I hope that one day that changes for your people. colorism is an awful thing.
@@BlackCryptoCartel It won't be in your or my lifetime, but it will change. It's not just here, but all over the world.
Great comment and yes I have to agree about racism here and Asia as a whole. I don't discuss it much on my channel, but I've heard jaw dropping remarks from my wife's relatives towards other ethnicities. All the best. 👍
Looking forward to part 5 James! I just watched through this again, and it's still really fascinating.
Cheers Scott. Traveling a bit at the moment, but will do part 5 soon. All the best.👍🍺
I found this episode absolutely fascinating! So many complexities. Keep up the great videos James 🙂
Cheers Scott. Hope all's well mate.👍
My wife has lived in the US for 8 years and it is amazing how much Thai face saving issue still directs the way she feels and acts. Thailand has a wonderful culture, but the stratification,class system and focus on color has a horrible psychological impact on its people. Have enjoyed your videos and this series in particular.
Cheers Joe, I feel the same way. Love Thailand but certain aspects can grind a bit. Goes for every culture I suppose.👍
Wow, thanks for the very personal Vlogs. Loved it!
Can't wait for part 5..Thanks James.
Cheers, yes gets a bit more interesting.😁🍺🍾
Very insightful video. Thanks !!
Cheers Matthew, appreciate it mate.👍🍺
excellent video James, great insight. Looking forward to the next. 👍
Cheers Mark, appreciate it mate.👍
Great information and keep up the good work mate. It also takes a lot to share those personal experiences, well done.
Cheers, much appreciated mate.👍
Thank you for the insights in this video. I was headed for this situation several years ago, and I never would have realized these things about my partner's experience. She had a prior marriage in Europe, and I sympathized with the troubles she told me of, but you have given us several deeper levels of context to think about.
Very enlightening video as it provides a perspective that probably would not have occurred to me. Thank you. Stay strong !!
👍
Cheers Rex. 👍🍺
Love and appreciate your honestly and what an experience!, all these are unknows to us western folk. Looking forward to the next episode👍🙏
Great information! Thank you!
Cheers Bubba.👍
Always look forward to your vidoes James. Interesting to hear your experiences, cheers
Cheers Tom. 👍
Thank you for your honesty. It helps some of us better understand what we may be going through as well. Stay safe.
Cheers, hope things going well mate.👍
Thank you James, this was really interesting. I don't think I've seen the first three parts, been busy, but definitely will soon. 👍
Cheers Emer. The playlist is in the description (I think).The videos are my story mixed with some FAQ.👍
Another gem and accurate. I like this series because I can relate to it.
Cheers, glad you like the series mate. 👍
Amazing, I’ve experienced a lot of this but your video has given me some useful insights even after 18 years of marriage….thank you….food for thought.
Cheers, glad u got something out of it mate.👍🍺
James I found your channel by accident but very glad I did . You give out spot on information and the content is excellent. Now to my main point , I have a Thai Partner for 7 years now and we have never spoken about the topic in your video until after I watched your wife and your story. Granted ours is different as I work overseas (not Thailand) but when my girl is not with me she faces the same things your wife did ((especially the skin color) . After watching your video I spoke t her about it and she told me what her friends say to her about that and other things related to being with a farang. It made me sad on a couple of different account , one being that how could her friends treat her such a way and two how could I not have known .
Thanks for the insight and the self awareness that your video brought to me.
Keep up the great work
Donnie
These things do happen everywhere In afraid, maybe less now. Communication with your Mrs. Is key. We just started chuckling about these things later on. Now doesn't bother us at all. Cheers.👍
fair play to ya, frank and honest, enjoyed listening
Cheers Pat, appreciate it mate.👍
Very good. Down to earth and honest. Thanks.
Cheers Gus.👍
Great video James, We don't have the same experiences but maybe that's because we've been living in Holland for 20 years
Excellent information. Sometimes the incidents are obvious, like your market experience, sometimes more subtle. Communication is a must as difficult as it can be.
Very true. It took me a while to notice. One we could discuss the issue together, it certainly helped.👍
Wow appreciate you telling your story and somewhat knew how it could be but way more than I imagined.
Very interesting mate. I recognise aspects of your story from others I have met here but I've not had that experience personally.
Cheers Duncan, took me a while to realise the missus was experiencing anything. Hope all's well with the family mate.👍
Glad you're continuing with this series, James.
I may have to start vlogging about my experiences here soon as a form of therapy 😂
Actually helps mate and going through photos and videos brought back some good memories.👍
Great story well told thankyou.
Cheers. Glad you enjoyed it mate.👍🍺
Video just showed up in my feed. Thanks for sharing your story, not always a comfortable subject but real life situation in a Thai rural town. Good on your wife for standing up to the market vendor, yes I've noticed the smaller the town the bigger the gossip. Have
occasionally experienced smart arse sniggering while walking the markets with my partner in Chiangmai last 6 years, but generally the vendors are smart enough to be courteous and grateful to do business.
Many thanks a very interesting video.
Cheers Antony. 👍
Very interesting. Thanks!
Cheers, glad you enjoyed it.👍🍺
I've been married to my beautiful Thai wife for almost twenty years and she has only taught me basic Thai because she's afraid that if I understand the insults spoken by Thai men that I'll react and get into trouble with the police.
Just avoid the 'Khao Niaow' ... wifey will explain what that means!
@@trevorsmith7753 Love it with mango and coconut milk. Wifey makes the best.
My wife didn't teach me Thai so I wouldn't chat to other ladies. Learnt myself.😎👍
@@jamesabroad8589 My wife told me if you cheat on a Thai lady she will cut off your "koy"and feed it to the ducks. Great sense of humor that wife of mine.
Very lazy.... She is not the only person who can teach you Thai
man what an awesome video including all the original photos and memories. the issue about not coming in the house due to face is so sad. The whole issue of face is just utterly ridiculous e.g preferring to actually Lie rather than lose face. Cannot wait for next part and your battles with the booze
Cheers, Yep, never got on with the face issue TBH. Took a long time to get used to it. 👍
Fascinating story, I met my wife on 2001, an on off relationship until we married in 2006, we have a couple of homes and couple of kids, I had hoped to have relocated to Thailand and settle until my wife talked about her fears for the girls (both daughters) my wife being a teacher and very familiar having worked in both Thai gov and international schools, it came as a bit of a shock to me as I had no inclination of potential problems for the kids. So now we spend the summers and occasionally xmas in our Thai home.
We never experienced problems with my daughter Annie. It does depend on a few different factors and being aware of behaviours that might occur. Good luck with your future plans.👍
Good advice
Awesome commentary. I never married my long time gf, but frictions in the family drove me nuts. Covid finally killed it, probably for the better. I'm back in July to my Thai / Oz life. Keep moving forward
Very true mate. Have a great trip.👍
Why ruin a good relationship with marriage? Marriage triggers one's own internal parental tendencies.
Thanks for sharing
Thank you for your story...I have learned so much that I did not know about their culture.
No worries, just my personal experiences.👍🍺
Fascinating video James. It's the kind of thing that one doesn't often see on CZcams. I do believe that sort of thing happens almost everywhere, sometimes in less overt ways but it's there. It's a shame. I'm glad to hear that there was some healing of the wounds over time. My late wife was of mixed race and grew up in South Africa & she had some very troubling stories to tell. Hopefully humanity will evolve out of these small minded cultural conditionings one lovely day. Thanks so much for being so honest and telling the tale. I'm looking forward to my to Thailand trip mid October. Sawasdee khap James
Very True eric, happens everywhere to a greater or lesser degree. Not long to go.👍✈
Very interesting and thought provoking, thanks! I missed what town you were living in at the time all the drama went down?
Cheers, Tak town in Tak province.👍
Wow very interesting , I know about quite a few things in Thai culture but didn't realize about those issues .
I wanted to build a big house with my Thai partner and I wondered why she only wanted a small house .
Appreciate your information on your experience 👍
Cheers, yes, the house size was an issue back in 2002, but all good now. 👍
Very Interesting James
Cheers Mark.👍🍺
thank you for sharing! i finally made it back to the kingdom and now living in Chiang Mai. we are now going through some home improvements on a street where increased value will become more obvious. i actually made a comment to my wife and asked if it will become an issue and she doesn't seem to think so. i hope not! your content is always insightful and hope to have a cold beverage with you some day.
Thank you for your honesty. True survival. Excellent vlog. Just completed our first year back in Thailand and wouldn't want to live anywhere else.
Cheers, glad things going well mate.👍
I have been married to my Thai wife for six years. Really like to see more videos like this.
We are thinking about buying a house in Bangkok and I would like have three or four bedrooms with pool. She keeps saying no I want a small house and now I know why. Never really noticed anyone saying anything negative to her but now I will pay a little more attention. Her family and our friends could not be nicer.
Great video, keep up the good work!!
Another great vid James, very open of you, and some valuable information.
Cheers, just experiences we had, hopefully useful to some.👍
Great video James! My thai gf and i broke up mostly because all the trouble we got from her famlily and other thai people. Having a relation with a farang can be very hard for thai ladies. And, of course, for the western man.
Get over your 'one-itis' ... life moves on to better pastures! Only need to milk the cow, not own it. If it flies, floats or ficks, rent it!
Cheers mate. It can certainly throw up issues for both parties.👍
Awesome stuff brilliant
Cheers Remus.👍🍺
Cheers James aboard
Thank you very much for sharing your journey. I appreciate all your videos, and personally for me this is a very meaningful series. I will say that I am at the same point as when you were at your first rental. Social difficulties are always there. It is how you rise above them all that matters. We cannot change the world. Witness that as they try, it becomes even more divisive, particularly here in the USA. Thank you.
Cheers, yes, the differences take a while to process and can be more difficult to understand for some than others.👍
Hi James,
I really like this channel and this sort of video where you touch on cultural issues.
As a farang of a similar age and background to you, that is married to a Thai in 2004 with two children together your story is very interesting.
Whilst I agree that there are cultural issues that can make life challenging ie saving face and the feudal system…, I do think that we as westerners can over analyze things and explain away all our problems by saying that it’s a cultural prejudice like the jaded bitter farang who gets offended by the term
farang.
We ve had our own carrot stall holder experience ourselves but my wife and her mother couldn’t give a …. what other people think of her. To the untrue gossip that she must have met me in Pattaya they just nodded and smiled 😆. It turns out that the lady in question wanted her own daughter to find a farang too 😂
Sometimes people a just plain nasty but often it’s just natural human need for gossip and there isn’t malice intended!
Forgive my directness but my belief is that most of the stress that your wife had encountered was due to her own insecurities. She cared way to much about what other people thought of her. From the unpleasant neighbour , to the carrot seller, to the not wanting to build a bigger house.
Any thoughts? 🤔
Best Tom
Yep, comes down to personality for sure. My wife (although sensitive) would shrug things off, but had a breaking point. This was a new experience for her in 2002 and views such behaviour very differently now (usually with a smile) 👍
they do care what people think , why you dont have a new car , why you have a small house .....i think it grinds them down in the beginning and then they learn how to handle or they find a new target to talk bullshit about ,,,
Interesting hearing others experiences; my (Brit) father in law met my wife’s mum in the early 1980s in outer (very rural) Bkk - built the big house, kid (my wife) to private school, etc etc but luckily didn’t encounter such problems. Kids at her school would joke about her step dads height (normal western height though) and his ‘foreign’ name but otherwise ok. She then grew up here and our experience of mixed couples (outside of in laws friends) were at the local Thai temple in London - where we took our daughter to Thai school at the wkend; we never really got on with them. The men were usually alot older (we were in our 20s then) and the women just wanted to compare incomes/houses/cars/brand items and gossip. A common thing too was their inability to properly communication, often I’d think a guy was talking to his toddler but was actually talking to his wife. When we go back to TH now, the wife is viewed more as a foreigner, jokingly called Farang sometimes even. We’re never found the right mix sadly.
I remember our builder said we could meet an American couple he was building a house for. Turned out they were Thai from Tak. Wife was a nurse and Husband engineer. They kept their Thai passports, but were considered foreigners. Could never get my head around that TBH. 👍
Thanks James, I know what you mean mate, been there, done it , got the t.shiirt. good luck mate, I hope yours works out better than mine. Rob.
Brilliant vid, mate. I find it so difficult to analyze the creases in a Thai/Western relationship, every case has its own can of worms. Your video however, brought quite some issues to light!!
Cheers, yes just our experiences, but know a few wives that have had similar.👍
Experiencing for family stuff, trying to understand and help her work through it.
How to be present be humble and be humble and be humble.
My Thai wife and I have been married for 20 years. Still laugh at all sorts of differing perceptions of the world. But it certainly was no easy picnic in the park for the first few years. The book Thai Fever was very useful to highlight the diffence in perceptions and especially money = support.
We've had no such drama in my wife's village everyone has been great.
Yes, small town bitchy mentality. But at least people are more connected in Thai life. Western city life is so isolating really.
Either it works (with mutual perseverance) or it doesn't.
Hi James
Very interesting series of videos.
Could you explain more about the part when you mentioned that the Thais wouldn’t enter your new home as they would loose face please.
That would be much appreciated if you could.
Thanks
Thanks James a good insight to life and Thai, frang relationships I was lucky turned the noodle shop into a home in the village my wife has her family and friends here as well as her sister and aunty are married to foreigners but live in their home countries
Cheers Barry, certainly helps when close family are nearby.👍
Good video James, the only problems we have is with one family friend who was talking ‘bad’ about us for no reason at all, my mrs has forgiven her but when this woman approached me to apologise I was cool towards her, we had looked after her with a few things and she repaid us by talking gossip about us. The most recent thing was February this year after I had been away from Thailand for 2 1/2 years because of covid, my mrs told me that her niece who was 14 years old was living with her because her mother was treating her bad, anyway when I arrived I found out that both the girl’s parents were party people and just didn’t want to look after their own daughter so they dumped her on us…I soon found out this 14 year old girl was as lazy a person as you would ever meet, she had everything for free, internet mobile phone plan, food , clothes and her own room with a tv and satellite Chanel’s, she didn’t help out around the house and was sleeping most of the day after emptying our fridge of food to eat, she didn’t help the mrs cook and she never went shopping or to the market to help my mrs, so I said there’s no way this girl is going to move into our new house that we are building she is lazy and so are her parents, so I called a family meeting and told her parents that their daughter was going to moving back with them! Three days later I packed her and her belongings off to her parents…needless to say they don’t speak to me anymore and they are a bit frosty with the mrs. So you do have to watch what’s going on, as a westerner and my mrs being the wife of a westerner there can be resentment and jealousy within the family….great video James, I did miss the phrase of the day section though 😂
I have one of my wife's relatives living with us and her boyfriend, they are 18 years old and I also pay for everything including clothes and entertainment while they do their work experience, but I must say I completely lucked out, they are amazing.
I keep comparing them to myself at 18 and I cannot believe how much more centered and in control they are, every time I turn around they are cleaning or taking care of the pets and helping out with everything around the house. They don't drink or party at all, they just seem content spending time together, it really is a pleasure having them here.
My wife's whole family is like this, very conscientious and hard working and always ready to help out when you need a hand, it makes a huge difference when you don't have a family network of you own to rely on.
it just goes to show how important the nurture part of parenting is, you mentioned her parents are not interested, it's hardly a surprise she turned out how she did.
You did the right thing mate. If she helped out etc. Different story. I might well bring back phrase of the day now and again. All the best.👍🍺
Hi James - you could write a book on this!
Thanks for the quick flash of Bob.
Cheers
Thinking of you mate. Bob will get proper feature soon.😎👍
Another great video James. I'm sure a lot of the women were envious of your wife because she had a handsome young husband. The colourism bit shocked me at first with my ex-wife and her family because they were relatively fair and her and her older brother couldn't accept their younger brothers girlfriend because she was a tanned coloured. I actually thought she was much more beautiful overall than my wife, including her normal Thai tan skin colour.
Cheers Adam. Crazy really as everyone wants a tan in the West lol. Skin colour has never bothered me personally.👍
Hi Guys, it must have been very difficult for your wife and then for you once you realised what was hapoening. I am glad you were able to work through it!
Excellent video, thank you. My wife and l also mostly keep to ourselves apart from close family, we live in a small Soi with only 8 house, all these house are owned by teachers as we live very close to a School. While l am sure we are the topic of conversation occasionally l find generally we all get on, l am the only Western in the Soi. The only issue we ever experienced (that l am aware of) occurred just after Covid kicked off, my wife and l were at a local village community hall to pick up the mother in law, apparently when one of the village "old girls" seen me she said something along the lines of, look at him, luckily he is wearing a must we don’t want Covid here, from what l was told a bit later my mother in law pulled the woman into line in short order.
Cheers Mike, I had a few stares when Covid kicked off lol. All the best. 👍
Things have been a little easier for my wife as I had been living in Thailand for 20 years before we met and I spoke Thai. Fast forward 25 years and things are better than ever. I am not so sure things have changed all that much but the longer you live here the more you seem to blend in, so it feels like things have changed.
One thing I find myself doing is that I mention we have been together for 25 years. There is a 20 year age difference so I know what people are going to think and getting that in early blunts those assumptions. My wife and I share a sense of not fitting in anywhere, she is not really Thai anymore and I am neither Farang nor Thai. We live a hybrid existence and try to take all the best things from our experiences and the world around us.
Excellent comment and I'm in the same headspace as yourself after 20 years here. I like the term hybrid existence, sums it up well, thanks again.👍
What a funny coincidence---I was watching your video when a photo of me, my husband and baby boy showed up at the end in reference to other Thai wives of farang men :) (I am a stock photographer so , hence, the photo availability) This is an interesting topic. I grew up abroad and met my husband as a child and after our marriage, we visited Thailand...and, lo and behold, market sellers had obvious assumptions about HOW we came to be together! Good grief. Get a life, people! Your poor wife...I get it!
Interesting video! The term mia farang/ เมียฝรั่ง can be spoken by Thai people with just a neutral meaning and it can carry a stigma with it as well! Even today!! I've had a few talks with Thai women who have experienced this recently.
Yep, stigma is still there although less than 20years ago I think. If people are jealous, easy to say negative things about Mia farangs.👍
Great video, very interesting, it really made me think what issues my wife might face here that she does not tell me about, I think I should talk to her so I have a better understanding of how she feels about certain situations she might find herself in.
I recently purchased some new cars for us and I wanted her to get a BMW or Mercedes, I thought it might be nice for her to experience owning a nice car, she flat out refused and said she was uncomfortable owning one, I wonder if she felt it would affect her relationships within her social group.
She also thought it was a waste of money and said she would prefer to use that money to build a house in the village, so thats what we are doing. I enjoy building projects, I have done quite a few here so I am quite happy about having a blank canvas to design a build another home, looking forward to it. (will only be small one)
Cheers, I think your missus has a similar mindset to mine. Good luck with the project mate.👍
You wife was right bmw merc waste of money european cars are junk oil burners better off with a thai made japanese car it will last longer and be more reliable.
Yes, talk to your wife about it.... it may be a real weight off her shoulders.
I appreciated this video: interesting observations for me to remember.
Cheers Mark, apprecite it. 👍
I was worried moving to a small village that I would be asked for money from family and friends of my Thai lady. Not at all, everyone is super friendly. My thai girl however receives all the stress of people asking her for money that I thought I would get. It never occured to me that she would be the one taking on all the stress for this until it happened.
I warned my wife from the get go that she would end up piggy in the middle.............i had to explain it a few times but got it in the end
My wife does tell me that in the village where she is from people do expect a person to have met their foreign partner in Pattaya. For the rest nothing bad is being sad, but we married last year and I migrated permanently to Thailand after 3 years as promised.
Don't here it as much now and best to just chuckle about it. Hope all's going well mate. 👍
Hi. Do you have a another channel cause try as I might can't get a clear picture of your day to day family life and friends how many children you have, still married, wife's and your work history and your children's relationship with Thai relatives. Love your walkabouts.
Cheers Ajiro.This is my main channel. I do a bit of everything on here. Check the playlist section for more info. etc.
Yes it changed in only the fact that now the village looks at Farang as prize for entire village and will welcome you as long as your providing with baht !
Yep, my wife isn't happy walking down Sukhumvit road because of what other people might think. And yes the family ... they just wont leave her alone .. and don't give up.
Sukhumvit has hundreds if not thousands of farang Thai couples. I don’t think anyone cares in inner Bangkok, it’s the most progressive part of the city
We only had issues outside the bigger cities, but depends on the individual and personality. Hope things have improved mate.👍
@@jamesabroad8589 When I am in Thailand we live in Ratchada and no one bats an eyelid. Never an issue with me but there was one time she was in Australia. We were into a chemist and I turned around to look for her and a woman in her late 40s said "your toy's over there" really caught me by surprise. Stupid people everywhere. Anyway the misses is due here in the next few weeks for one last holiday in Oz, house is on the market and then Thailand here we come. As for the family ... better when I'm around.
Hi James, another thought provoking video. Knowing what you know now from the last 25 years or so, would you go through it again? Difficult question as you have a lovely family. But, for example, would you have settled in a more urban setting, where there might find more cultural diversity, say like Chiang Mai or Bangkok? My small experiences in Thailand have always been idyllic, and I always wonder how one would experience the best of Thailand without any cultural relationship friction. Thanks again.
I don't regret anything really. Buying land closer to Phitsanulok could have been a better option, but we all still love it here in Tak. Cheers. 👍
If you got money, the Thai gal will always serve you well. When the money disappears, so does her heart.
I lost my passport and money bag when first met my wife. She paid everything for me 1 month. Yes some, but not all.👍
Yep, and if she puts on 300 pounds, there goes your heart as well. There are expectations on both sides.
Thais in general have problems with outsiders - not just foreigners - and I think one thing that has helped my marriage the most is that I met, married and live with my wife in her hometown. The Thai wives brought by Westerners from other parts of Thailand have had the most difficulty here. I think Westerners need to be aware that just because your wife is Thai doesn't mean that she can get along with all other Thai people. Thais grow up in complicated social networks of friends, family, classmates, etc. If you remove her from them, you've pretty much doomed her to social isolation. Great video, James 👍
Yes, agree. We both loved Tak and thought a few family connections would suffice. We basically split our time between Tak and Phitsanulok now. All the best mate.👍
Your comment on Thai wives living overseas experiencing isolation and homesickness really resonated with me.
My wife and I have been married for 10 years and during that time have been living together in Australia, where we met. Wife was OK & happy here pre-covid, as we used to spend a month or two in Thailand every year. The Australian Government banned citizens from leaving the country during the pandemic. This caused some consternation as we couldn’t visit the family in Thailand for over 2 years.
We also had our first and only child during the pandemic, and now we are finally able to leave Australia again the wife’s feelings of isolation & homesickness are such that she is insisting upon moving back to Thailand, where the extended family can help her to care for our young toddler, who is a very active & precocious child.
I’m hoping to take early retirement so I can also move to Thailand & join my family there, but the early retirement scheme my employer is offering, whilst it would pay me a small fortune in Thai terms, is only available to a limited number of employees each year. Basically it’s a lottery. My wife doesn’t accept this fact and is sure that I will get it.
Fingers crossed I will be able to make this all happen in 2023. If not I don’t know what I’ll do. But I do understand my wife’s feelings of isolation and homesickness.
I guess if I don’t get the early retirement package I’ll just have to continue working here & travel to Thailand as often as I can for visits, but it kills me after so long trying to start a family to be separated from my wife & our precious long awaited child. 9 years is a long time to wait to start a family & now they are leaving me.
Hopefully you can make things work mate. Having a child probably compounded the home sickness. Thais adore kids so hopefully he/she has the best of both cultures. Good luck.👍
Sorry mate, your wife needs to be more flexible and stay with you until your retirement plans are finalized. She is being selfish.
Tell her this is not acceptable
I can totally relate…..been married 18 years to my Thai wife…..I remember her going mental with a souvenir seller in Pattaya……and chasing him down the street…..he was terrified!……about a year after we met……..ps, she wasn’t a bargirl, but if she was it wouldn’t have made a difference ……love of my life.
I ve been married to my Thai wife for 18 years. We have experience of racism both whilst living in the U.K. and also the stigma that is carried by her as being a Mia Farang.
I can relate to everything you have said.
What's a Mia farang?
@@bw4348 it’s kind of an impolite way of saying wife if a white man . The correct word for wife is palayaa, Mia is more of a mistress. Farang means white man.
Hi James, I live in Kamphaeng Phet. We live where my wife grew up, I could not imagine her living in village without her family and friends.
True, not having close family and friends here certainly made the situation more difficult.👍
I like your candour..it's a bit of a minefield especially when you don't understand the lingo and culture..I've had a couple of incidents when being disrespected and funny enough at the local market..I recognized it though ..body language etc.. my missus is pretty open minded anyway so she doesn't get too hung up on the bs...plus we are well traveled..
I appreciate your thoughts and effort.. it's still a great country to settle in.. cheers
Certainly a minefield that can be navigated with good communication and not caring what others think. Can be a bit of a shock for newcomers. All the best. 👍
Interesting experiences James. I’m a bit confused re your friends not coming int the new home due to “face” Can you explain a bit more. Is it because it is bigger and better than they have.? How would that be face losing?
I think he explained it with the pyramid diagram. He built a big house and moved up a level or two on the social ladder. its a little bit like peasants who wouldn't feel comfortable sitting in the Lords manor in 19th century England. Thais prefer to mix with their own social class where they can relax. Its stressful to visit a rich persons new house. You have to put on a big smile and say how much you admire every detail of the house when deep down the Thai husband would feel humiliated and the wife jealous.
@@Peter-dw5xq cheers for the explanation Peter. I understand it a lot clearer now.
Just catching up with your videos now, but Mexico right now is busier than it has ever been ever. Alot of resorts are fully booked for over 6 months and it is in the slow season....so fully booked into the winter right now. I personally thought the tourists would wait till the winter but friends and family have all gone to mexico in the middle of summer.....no one is sitting around waiting for thailand....if the thais dont want the money it will go elsewhere it is that simple.
Everything you have experienced I have not found this at all. We built with my wife's family in her town. No dramas absolutely nothing. I feel like a Thai when I am here in Sisaket.
Yep, everyone has different experiences. However, I wasn't aware of anything the first couple of years.👍
great video, yes Thais are all about face and rich / poor . Status means a lot to them. When I married my Thai wife we had to invite the local town chief and people were falling over themselves to gain an 'audience' with him, my wife's father was like a waiter, meanwhile the town chief was courting me to invest in things
Face here Certainly takes a while to get your head around.😁👍
Hope you didnt invest ?? 555
this is the only video out there that addresses the pressures women are put under / why you dont have this or that /, personally the only trouble i have ever had is gossiping rumours and nasty slandering from thai women married to other foreigners ,,, learn to speak thai , because when you confront them the look on their faces when you tell them to stop talking shit about you is priceless lol
Cheers mate. Yes, things changed a bit when I could speak a bit of Thai. Certainly helps.👍🍺
Interesting video and I am sure many people can relate. If fluent in Thai it would help to understand the issues because it’s easy to miss things when you don’t understand what’s being said.
One negative point I would like to mention about the video……. I missed Bob and worry about his welfare. He should make a brief appearance in every video in my view!
Cheers, I believe Bob does make a brief appearance in this one lol. 😁👍
@@jamesabroad8589 Ah, I must have missed him!
Funny story. A few months after our son was born in 2002 we took him to the government hospital for his vaccinations, he had very blond hair as a baby. I am Welsh my wife is Thai. Another lady at the hospital
Same thing happens in Philippines.
Just found you, and as I am in a relationship with a Thai woman In nong bua lamphu, it was very interesting. I speak only basic Thai, very basic. I would like to know, how long it took to learn that, and how do you deal with what the men say about you?
If you can learn a little everyday it's surprising how quick you can pick it up. Other men don't bother me at all. Good luck with everything.👍🍺
I’ve been happily married to my Thai wife for 20 years. We live in London and have two children who are grown up. We own our house in London and have a few houses in Thailand and a few rice fields. I would like and can afford to live in Thailand but my wife prefers London despite the weather. She has friends and has access to durian, papaya and all the things she can get in Thailand. She has Thai tv and works for a council in children service’s . She did struggle at first but once she learnt English at night school she hasn’t looked back. I think the only racist comments come from people in Thailand that are jealous of her achievements. Sending my best wishes to all the couples out there who have taken the chance to find love with a Thai partner. All the best FFF
Thanks for your story. Shame the missus likes London mate. Lived my first 28 years there and don't miss it at all. Hope all turns out well for you both.👍
Yes well said James, there was a problem with me and the thai wife. But now we live in the UK, she frei has been here 11 years now and loves england. Frei family was one of the poorest in her village but now not so. I paid for a big house and her family live in it now, everything is going okay. We bought the land a few years before we built the house, it seems all is going okay. Not been for nearly 3 years now cause of covid, but the wife talks to her mother on facetime all the time. Maybe the wife might go this high season coming, who knows ? Bri and frei east Yorkshire.
Cheers Brian. Glad all worked out mate. Hopefully getting here will be restriction free after July 1.👍
Interesting video, I have to say with our so called Royals at home( UK , it feels like a feudal society at times with most of government, opposition, judiciary, various institutions all think they are entitled to rule, as they come from privileged back grounds , go to the same schools ,universities .
Very interesting vlogg. Sometimes when out with girlfriend in korat all I can here is falang falang lol
If that's all you're hearing, you're doing ok.😁👍
Hey thanks for your honest info and I know it can't be easy to talk about ...I also have a newly built house with my thai gfriend in her village ...I've just accepted that sometimes I.m a square peg trying to go into a round hole ....with the lose face issue and class issue either you are kind of looked down on by the so called wealthy hisos or on the other side having the jealousy issues with the others ... its not all bad it's just sometimes sort of pulls you back from being social involved with things ....anyway what matters as with me is you and your family unit the rest is not so important .. sorry for my bad spelling it's not the best and wish you and your wife all the best ....kevin
Agree mate. We let it go over our heads after a while and concentrated on the family unit. Now my wife doesn't give a sh**.😁👍🍺
Any advice to preempt such b.s. Specifically the jealousy, and how to react. I am very protective and can see throwing gas on that fire were someone to mess with my soon to be Thai wife, thanks.
Just be aware these things can happen and communicate. We ended up laughing at most of it after a few years.🍺👍
Thailand, never jump through the western hoops of marriage, stay in control of the situation.