YiKeS !! It hasn't, but it will....or something similar to what you expect will definitelly happen...just keep on living. You'll meet some great people in your life, which will make you glad, that you didn't do anything to yourself. ofcourse there are gonna be some dickheads who are not happy with themselves, and are in such fake friendships that are clearly not good or healthy for them, and ofcourse they will try to make you as miserable as they are. But trust me, after a while(in my case after highschool) you'll never see them again.....I've met such inspiring and loving people in my life, that today I can wholeheartedly say that I am glad, that I didn't do anything stupid to myself.....Just keep on living....Trust me, you'll see the light and the right doors open for you, but just as everything good takes time, this will also take a lot of time, to get to the point in your life, when you'll be truly happy.....P.S. I don't know if you'll have the time to read this long long comment hahah I am sorry for that....Bjt please keep on living 😄 the world is in need for good people❤
I Totally Know where youre coming from, but I swear to god. I don't know what exactly has happened to you, but There's people that love you. Maybe they do not show it a lot . Or there will be some that will love you. Also i genuinely hope you're doing better now than you did when u wrote this
This is exactly how I felt when I had my first suicide attempt. I would cry at school but everyone would think it was just my emotions, that what they said did help lead me to my attempts. I remember when I almost bled out, the tears came to my eyes just feeling the blood come down my neck and wrists. I did survive, and to this day I'm glad I did. Since that was my first one, I had 5 after. I realized that instead of inflicting pain on myself, why not help those people who feel so alone like I did. Because of my experiences, I'm able to run a support system now. :) I get hundreds of messages every day, and I'm glad that I have a chance to help the kids who felt like I once did. Stay Strong Guys ❤
Hi, I was wondering if you could help me....I want to die so bad and I can't stop cutting myself. I just want to be gone, non existent. I dont want to be that kid who "tried" to kill herself anymore, I want to actually die this time. No on cares about me anymore. They all hate me and wish I was dead. Why not fulfill their wishes then? Why not just kill myself? I want to, so they win and I win also. Thank you for understanding. I hope I'm still alive when you respond. If not, I'm sorry and I hope anyone who sees this that knows me and is one of those people who 2ant to see me dead, then I hope you feel better and i hope I fulfilled your wish of seeing me die, because by now I probably am. But maybe not, maybe I'm sitting in the bathroom about to slit my wrists and this person decides to respond. Maybe I could be saved, who knows? I hope you respond. Please.....respond....
I know it sounds like empty words but there will always be someone who cares about you. they might not see it or show it yet but I swear to god, you deserve so much better and I'm sure you will get what you deserve soon. Pls don't give up.
these audios make me have a connection with them the words have very deep meaning it sends me chills down my spine cause how I feel is in these audios it makes me think that I'm really not alone
"I remember I was wandering the empty streets of my hometown, I was alone this time unlike that other time, and it's because I wanted to die alone. My mind was running, screaming, shaking, collapsing in on itself again. When you're in that place and your perception is collapsing like that, those old thoughts kept coming back again, you're good enough, you're not smart enough, you're not enough. Should I hang on there for just one more day? for what? to be that crazy kid? I have already held on for this long and things haven't gotten any better. why would I keep trying what hasn't been working..?"
I am a suicide survivor. I attempted 3 times in my entire life of 14 years... I'd cut my wrists, and try to purposely choke on food. It's a scary world where I didnt want to live in. One time when I was in a homeless shelter with my family. I tried overdosing on melatonin. I woke up the next day and wanted to cry. I saw my dead brother when a light flashed before my eyes. He died when I was 3. He died of suicide. My other brother also committed suicide.. he had schizophrenia. I got bullied constantly by adults and girls in my class. I even got beat up by a girl. I have no friends. I'm shy.. idk thanks for reading if u made it this far
9 years old - bullied about physical appearance everyday in school 10 years old - still bullied about physical appearance everyday, not good enough 11 years old - self hatred began, suicidal thoughts, self harm, anxiety attacks, people think I'm seeking for attention when I cry in the middle of class so they still bully me
I was 12 when I started going through a lot 😔 I had no friends. I was always coming home... Straight to my room... Crying... Hating myself... Hurting myself... Wishing everything would end... I had nobody... I'm 18 now... I don't hurt myself anymore. But I'm still fighting (: I'm holding on
I'm not even a teenager yet and I have very deep scars into my wrists and I this time I'm going a lot deeper so have the bestest of lives and don't think of the dead people for depression
I wasn't even a teenager when I first tried to kill myself..i was 10. I'm stuck here. My depression keeps me stuck not able to end it because it wants me to suffer. How long?
The first time I tried to kill myself I was 6 The first time I cut myself I was 5 The first time I staved myself I was 8 The first time I was bullied I was only 4 years old by an older girl Why is the world fucked up
Es ist schön mal wieder ein Video von dir zu sehen. Deine geschriebene "Bedeutung" ist wirklich toll,, viel Glück euch weiterhin und viel Spaß gemeinsam! Schönes Video, Seli!
I was twelve... I had decided to try and drown myself at a pool. My father saved me and was heartbroken I tried it. Now I have to take pills to help and go to therapy often just to stay alive. Depression, and suicide should be taken more seriously. People die from these so much, and some people don’t even know we are suffering. Otherwise, they think we want people to feel pity for us. We don’t. We just want help. So then we don’t take our lives.
From as early as I can remember depression has been apart of me. A part of my daily routine. I thought "this is normal". And it hadn't occurred to me that it wasn't until I turned 11. I don't remember the first time I tried to kill myself. But the first one I do remember was in church. In the middle of service I just broke down. I couldn't handle it. I rushed to the bathroom and I couldn't breathe. And there was this awful pain in my chest. It felt like I was underwater and I couldn't come up for air. Like I was drowning. My head was pounding and I just wanted to end it right there. I could barely keep my eyes open from how much I had been crying and I couldn't see properly from the tears in my eyes. I opened up a cabinet in the back and grabbed a cleaning product. I was so exhausted and I couldn't take it anymore. I tried and I tried to open it be because it had a child safety lock on it. And I just fell to the floor and cried until I felt like throwing up. I couldn't get it open and I was so mad at myself cause I couldn't open it. I was so tired. I can't remember what age but it was either 9 or 10.
Hi, I'm here for u and care. Wanna talk? Also my friend and I are starting a Google hangout group chat for people with depression. Would u like to join?
I am so far gone and I want to continue but it's so hard. But I will try. YOU have to get through this. No one will be able to do this or fix this but YOU. The world is a beautiful place and sometimes it's risky to find out how beautiful the world is. You only wish you could stay in this world when it's too late,
I was 7 when i attempted to take my own life. I had been told that i was Worthless growing up. At the age of 6 i had carved those words into my inner thigh. I was ready to die. But then i heard my sister running down the stairs. Calling my name. Wanting to play. See she has always been full of life. Shes the Light while i have always been the Darkness. All i could do was imagine. My sweet innocent sister going downstairs and seeing a knife buried into my throat bleeding out. Choking on my own blood. I couldnt do that too her. I couldnt bring that trauma to her. So i put the knife away and we went up and played Legos and Barbies. Fast forward a few years. I have 500 scars on my body all self-inflicted. I am stopped by a boy. A boy who knew nothing about me. Knew nothing about my life. He offered his hand and helped me up. He introduced me to a group of kids like me. We became a Family. No not a Family we were closer than that. Gradually Depression claimed those 7 brilliant souls. Each time i lost a Friend i turned to suicide. When i lost the last friend (Merrie) to suicide i drove up a mountain and parked my car right next to the edge. I was trying to convince myself to go over the edge. I had no one left. Nobody. I was nobody. And then i imagined the horror my sister would feel seeing my corpse pulled out of the car seeing the mangled body. Never being able to talk to me ever again. I would never see her get married. I would never see her have kids. But i was so ready to go. I started forward when i heard a loud honk. A car had followed me from school. They were concerned. See i had been crying all day. And they were concerned. The guy in the passenger side of the car got out and ripped open my door and dragged me out. And just hugged me. I cried into him. I beat on him with my fists. I wanted to die. I wanted to join my mates. And he wouldnt let me. I never found out who did it. They never told me their name. He escorted me back to my car and followed me until i got home. The acts of kindness that i had seen all my life inspired me to help others. I stopped living for myself and started to live for others. I threw myself into saving other people.because i had been saved multiple times by people who didnt know me. So it was my turn to help others.
I was 12 the first time I tried to kill myself. If I would’ve known then that my life wasn’t going to change I would’ve never changed my mind. I would’ve been successful.
@@marymary-yj2rz I can't tell if this is supposed to be offensive, but if it is, then you have no clue what it's like to have depression or feel suicidal
@@sammiesisland1487 i do okay but why would someone so young have a depression i don't know but they just overreact to anything and so weak that they can't handle their problems and they feel empty inside and lonely and diffrent
mary mary There are many factors, from an abusive environment to the loss of a loved one or bullying or even something worse. No matter what age you are that sucks. And not all 12 y/o overreact to everything
I'm dying my depression is getting the best of me and my first suicide attempt was to slit my throat also I slit my wrists and feel no pain won't it be the same if it was my throat I'm alone and I don't know what to do. I cut my wrists and starve myself until I pass out I need help...but how do I get it?
Somedays all i want to feel is pain, i feel nothing at all, I'm not sad neither am i happy but all i crave is pain and i get so angry and agitated when i dont, is this normal?
I tried to kill myself when i was 15 but one thing stopped me i thought about my family and my friends that kept me all of those years in my life and now am here
I have never attempted suicide, but I have slit my arms before. I’m 14, and for nearly my whole life I’ve lived with anxiety and depression, though the depression side didn’t kick in fully until later. When I was 3, my parents divorced, and I remember I was so… perplexed. So confused. So afraid. I would throw up constantly, throw tantrums… you name it. And most of you probably are thinking, “three year olds normally do that.” But this was different. The “tantrums” weren’t just because I didn’t get my coffee milk when I wanted it or because I didn’t get my way. A lot of times they were just… random. And at that time, I didn’t know why. I was too young to understand what was really happening. Why my mom packed our suitcases and drove us to my grandparents’ house. But I wasn’t too young to understand that I was starting a new chapter in life. For the next year or two, this pattern of tantrums and vomiting constantly kept occurring. And I was and still am very healthy, so it wasn’t usually because I had a stomach virus. It was because of my anxiety. I would just get so afraid… so lost. From preschool to 3rd grade were some of the hardest years of my life. From preschool to the end of my first grade year, my mom was an alcoholic and drug addict. She would parent out of anger, not love. If I did something wrong, she wouldn’t even explain to me why it was wrong. She would just get straight to yelling at me and beating me. I knew she wasn’t trying to be abusive, but I was so young that back then I didn’t know the difference. One time she whipped me so hard there was a huge red mark on my arm and the school counselor had to call me down to speak with me about it because all the teachers were so concerned when they saw it. No one probably would have guessed that happy, go lucky, little me would have gone through all was going through, because I acted so different at school. And if you think things got better after my mom became clean, you’re wrong. My dad was a drug addict and thief. He was engaged to a woman that I really loved and trusted as my second mom based on what my real mom had done to me. But their relationship? Toxic. Always yelling at each other, to the point of me being woken up at night and crying myself to sleep because I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I didn’t know what to do with my life anymore except act happy in front of everyone else. Eventually, my dad was arrested, and once bailed out, he and I moved in with my grandparents. He was arrested two more times and is now in rehab. My life has been very hard… but a lot of people see it as, “People have worse than you, there’s kids that don’t have water and you complain about this?” People just don’t understand….
Started self harming at 9, I’d scratch and pick at my skin until it bled and say I fell over, by the age of 11 I started cutting and my scars covered my body, when I turned 12 I had my second suicide attempt. And five more after that. I freeze up when people ask if I need a paracetamol for a headache now. I can’t take them.
I tried to kill myself when I was 13 I turned 14 on October and I remember it.no one cared.i was just another girl.i try to dress pretty I try to look good and yet I'm still ugly and fat and u worthy and I'm not anything or.anyone.i might as well just disappear
I was 13, and I felt the lowest ii ever had. I'm 17 now. And still have attempted almost 6 times. All of the attempts failed and I try so hard not to go back to that but that sad reality is that, death is the only good thing anymore.
The first time I wanted to kill myself, I remember thinking about it all day... and I cried, well because I’m a 15 year old girl who’s a mother figure to her younger brothers, and my 11 month old brother, what are they supposed to do without me? Feed themselves... go to foster care, because their mother won’t take care of them? And I thought I’m 15... and I want to die, and no one could see me.
Dakota Fassel my m says it's easy it's not she is 59 she dosnt know how it feel to commit suicide at all she just thinks I need to be fixed I'm not broken u can't fix me I don't need to be fixed or found I can't get better I won't.
I was in elementary when I did. I bite my nails and I refused to use a sharp object or do anything else so I cut. But I had short nails. But I left the room with half the skin on my forearm. But somehow, the pain in head, overtook the pain in my arm so I didn't care.
Year 5- trying to commit suicide, bullied, uncared for and scarred Year6- Faking a smile, knowing you’re hurting so bad, crying your sleep every night. Year7- ... the day anxiety was a thing, consumed me, self esteem broke down from thinking I’m a 3 to a -10, still bullies. Year 8- too many attempts to kill myself, scars everywhere, cutting every night non stop, crying and screaming but no one hears. Year 9- slowly giving up, still ugly, getting kicked out of school, bullied and still cutting Now, still crying myself to sleep, knowing no one will ever love me or help me, Letting the cold fill the empty side of my bed, slowly consuming me like my depression ...
Im 14 and tried to kill myself 4 times... 1 time grade 7...4 times grade 8. Even though I have a bf, I am acting in front of him, them, family, school, friends. I keep acting 24/7. Its exhausting.....
This was me nd still is and everything is exactly like he said except for the the kitchen knife I pressed it against my chest where my heart was instead of my throat nd I was only 6 years old that's my first time
my mom is very depressed right now because of the loss of her mom that was my grandma she's still depressed about it though like for weeks she's been depressed about it
I was 10 when I tried to kill myself and I was 10 when my mom abandoned me in a hospital I felt she didn't want to take care of me and didn't want me anymore but I realized I can't focus on these thoughts because they weren't going to help me they were going to hurt me
I was 14 when I attempted my suicide. I started cutting at 12. I gave up hope of anything getting better. In 15 now. I still can't find any motivation to wake up. I have this reoccurring dream where I'm in a small dark box as it's filling with water. There's a knife and button. The bottom restarts life from where I started to feel like my death is the only thing I'm looking forward to. There is a screening of everything wrong in my life, wrong with me. The movie always has everyone's problems that connect to the beginning of my first breath. The narrator of my story is screaming at me. Why won't you help them?! Why won't you end their suffering by not existing?! There is no way out for me. I press the button, but it doesn't work. Everyone else's works, but mine broken. I grab the knife. I use it to try to cut the glass, but the knife just ends up making the water red. Red from my veins. The Ruby substance that is supposed to link me to everyone, to show we are the same, but we're not. I'm nothing, while everyone else is something, or rather, they are everything. I'm stuck. The water keeps rising. I try to use the knife to end this nightmare that I can recognize is my life, it's not a life. The knife shatters as it touches my skin. I'm stuck waiting to drown. The water then covers my head. My lungs are about to give out. The moment I feel as if I'm ready to give in, I'm awoken by my alarm, screaming that I have to do this all over again. I'm scared of dying, but I'm horrified to live.
Please hear me out and just read: I've been hit. It felt like a dream only worst. There was a loud ringing noise I could not get over it was like a movie, all I could remember is glass and blood hearing sirens and the flashing blue and red lights made me scare. I kept thinking to myself "is it time for me to go?" "Is it all over?" I tried I really just tried maybe if I was just strong enough to just stand and say I was ok then it would all get better only this hit different it all happened so fast and if i were to be honest i didnt know what to say. Sadly I didnt make it. Sadly it was my time to go, but hey.. atleast I tried I mean what do you want me to do put on a smile and pretend to be fine? No. That's not the ending that would just be a beginning. Because where I come from is plant earth and nothing ends well you might think it for one second but it all comes back, and I know it sucks but life is life and you would do anything just to survive. And that's my story that's my past and no longer to be a future. Hi if your still reading this tell me something about you let it all out. :)
"You've got your dump friends, I know what they say, they tell you I am difficult but so are they. But They dun know me, do they even know you?" Let's say that the one told you you were not good enough didn't even know you...and you were one of them.. know thyself duke
I was just 10 years old when I first tried to kill myself. I was googling how to tie a noose and how to tighten it. I was about to do it but then my mother caught me as I was tying it. She saved my life. I am currently in a happier place and don’t feel those thoughts now. Thank you mum. Thank you a lot for bringing me into this world and stopping me from leaving it.
7 years old tried to kill myself because my sister had told me to 9 years old she told me I was the reason she attempted to overdose and so I tried to hang myself moved towns got bullied by the principal and students first time I ever cut at the age 12 55 times went to a hospital. When I got out tried to kill myself. Not ashamed it's just my story
U know, this Video has 2 sides. 1. It says the way most of US felt and describes it good, BUT there is no good ending. I Do not like that. I mean, i found it. The happy ending. But others who are in this stage want to find the happy ending and seeing this is not so good. But, i hope u Read the commends end see there are some ppl that went through the same for other reasons but ended in the same Spot, and as u can see, they managed to get out and what they say is, it is beautiful on the other side. The side most ppl life in, but we are More alive then them, because we know how the Bad feels, sounds ,taste and speaks to US. We life mich better on the good side then normal ppl because normal ppl Do not think of it and live Day by Day, but we LOVE Day by Day. It just needs time. I know this sucks and sounds stupid, but its true. Keeper your head up!!
"Why would I keep trying what hasn't been working"
That line is exactly how I feel...
YiKeS !! yep me too...
YiKeS !! It hasn't, but it will....or something similar to what you expect will definitelly happen...just keep on living. You'll meet some great people in your life, which will make you glad, that you didn't do anything to yourself. ofcourse there are gonna be some dickheads who are not happy with themselves, and are in such fake friendships that are clearly not good or healthy for them, and ofcourse they will try to make you as miserable as they are. But trust me, after a while(in my case after highschool) you'll never see them again.....I've met such inspiring and loving people in my life, that today I can wholeheartedly say that I am glad, that I didn't do anything stupid to myself.....Just keep on living....Trust me, you'll see the light and the right doors open for you, but just as everything good takes time, this will also take a lot of time, to get to the point in your life, when you'll be truly happy.....P.S. I don't know if you'll have the time to read this long long comment hahah I am sorry for that....Bjt please keep on living 😄 the world is in need for good people❤
I Totally Know where youre coming from, but I swear to god. I don't know what exactly has happened to you, but There's people that love you. Maybe they do not show it a lot . Or there will be some that will love you. Also i genuinely hope you're doing better now than you did when u wrote this
so please , I beg you do not give up.
It's been 9years, & I'm still drowning.
"they probably would have been surprised to find out how i would hate the way the sunlight came into my window every morning" how i feel
This is exactly how I felt when I had my first suicide attempt. I would cry at school but everyone would think it was just my emotions, that what they said did help lead me to my attempts. I remember when I almost bled out, the tears came to my eyes just feeling the blood come down my neck and wrists. I did survive, and to this day I'm glad I did. Since that was my first one, I had 5 after. I realized that instead of inflicting pain on myself, why not help those people who feel so alone like I did. Because of my experiences, I'm able to run a support system now. :)
I get hundreds of messages every day, and I'm glad that I have a chance to help the kids who felt like I once did.
Stay Strong Guys ❤
Hi, I was wondering if you could help me....I want to die so bad and I can't stop cutting myself. I just want to be gone, non existent. I dont want to be that kid who "tried" to kill herself anymore, I want to actually die this time. No on cares about me anymore. They all hate me and wish I was dead. Why not fulfill their wishes then? Why not just kill myself? I want to, so they win and I win also. Thank you for understanding. I hope I'm still alive when you respond. If not, I'm sorry and I hope anyone who sees this that knows me and is one of those people who 2ant to see me dead, then I hope you feel better and i hope I fulfilled your wish of seeing me die, because by now I probably am. But maybe not, maybe I'm sitting in the bathroom about to slit my wrists and this person decides to respond. Maybe I could be saved, who knows? I hope you respond. Please.....respond....
Wow.
Hello I just wanted to say that I care okay!!
I know it sounds like empty words but there will always be someone who cares about you. they might not see it or show it yet but I swear to god, you deserve so much better and I'm sure you will get what you deserve soon. Pls don't give up.
I tried to kill myself today with a knife but I couldn't I was scared and shaking its 4 days before Christmas I'm think I'm OK now
these audios make me have a connection with them
the words have very deep meaning
it sends me chills down my spine cause how I feel is in these audios
it makes me think that I'm really not alone
I hope you're better now. If you need someone.. I'm a stranger I know but I'd try all my best to be there for you tho:) have a nice day :)
I get chills too, but I can't tell if it's the numbness or just chills
"I remember I was wandering the empty streets of my hometown, I was alone this time unlike that other time, and it's because I wanted to die alone. My mind was running, screaming, shaking, collapsing in on itself again. When you're in that place and your perception is collapsing like that, those old thoughts kept coming back again, you're good enough, you're not smart enough, you're not enough. Should I hang on there for just one more day? for what? to be that crazy kid? I have already held on for this long and things haven't gotten any better. why would I keep trying what hasn't been working..?"
I am a suicide survivor. I attempted 3 times in my entire life of 14 years... I'd cut my wrists, and try to purposely choke on food. It's a scary world where I didnt want to live in. One time when I was in a homeless shelter with my family. I tried overdosing on melatonin. I woke up the next day and wanted to cry. I saw my dead brother when a light flashed before my eyes. He died when I was 3. He died of suicide. My other brother also committed suicide.. he had schizophrenia. I got bullied constantly by adults and girls in my class. I even got beat up by a girl. I have no friends. I'm shy.. idk thanks for reading if u made it this far
I just wanted to know if you are okay or not. I would love to be friends with you
The first time I tried to commit I was 8 bc I was getting bullied
that's so sad. i can't imagine the pain you been through. glad you didn't pass.
*Hugged you* (╯︵╰,)❤
Yo you okay bro?
I was 12 at the time , and it was a really dark time for me ...this video definitely hit home . A little too close actually
Same
"Nobody would even know your gone" big mood. Big fucking mood, I can relate to that sentence so much
9 years old - bullied about physical appearance everyday in school
10 years old - still bullied about physical appearance everyday, not good enough
11 years old - self hatred began, suicidal thoughts, self harm, anxiety attacks, people think I'm seeking for attention when I cry in the middle of class so they still bully me
taes oteric I really do hope things are better for you now, is it? :)
I wish it's good now
i hpe you are doing better now. and army will take care of a other army :D
@@redd5505 thats not very cash money of you
Awww:(( I know where you're comin from! Hope you're better now!!
Sometimes I just want to take some pills, and not wake up in the morning. Just end it all right there,
Imagine how peaceful it would be.
I was 12 when I started going through a lot 😔 I had no friends. I was always coming home... Straight to my room... Crying... Hating myself... Hurting myself... Wishing everything would end... I had nobody...
I'm 18 now... I don't hurt myself anymore. But I'm still fighting (:
I'm holding on
I was 11.
Natalie Bieber I was 12
Natalie Bieber same
I was 13.
i was too
I was 11 when I hold the knife in my hands
Damn, I can't stop crying.
This is so powerful 😭 omigosh
I'm not even a teenager yet and I have very deep scars into my wrists and I this time I'm going a lot deeper so have the bestest of lives and don't think of the dead people for depression
I wasn't even a teenager when I first tried to kill myself..i was 10. I'm stuck here. My depression keeps me stuck not able to end it because it wants me to suffer. How long?
I was ten years old when I first tried to kill myself I haven't gotten better I've only gotten worse
Lil Bhadie same girl😞
I hope you feel better soon, but I also feel like that
How are you my friend?
I hope you are doing well
This is me,, this video does represent me to 100%
The first time I tried to kill myself
I was 6
The first time I cut myself
I was 5
The first time I staved myself
I was 8
The first time I was bullied
I was only 4 years old by an older girl
Why is the world fucked up
the world is fucked because society is evolving
this is massively incredible !
Es ist schön mal wieder ein Video von dir zu sehen. Deine geschriebene "Bedeutung" ist wirklich toll,, viel Glück euch weiterhin und viel Spaß gemeinsam!
Schönes Video, Seli!
I was twelve...
I had decided to try and drown myself at a pool. My father saved me and was heartbroken I tried it.
Now I have to take pills to help and go to therapy often just to stay alive.
Depression, and suicide should be taken more seriously. People die from these so much, and some people don’t even know we are suffering. Otherwise, they think we want people to feel pity for us. We don’t. We just want help.
So then we don’t take our lives.
From as early as I can remember depression has been apart of me. A part of my daily routine. I thought "this is normal". And it hadn't occurred to me that it wasn't until I turned 11. I don't remember the first time I tried to kill myself. But the first one I do remember was in church. In the middle of service I just broke down. I couldn't handle it. I rushed to the bathroom and I couldn't breathe. And there was this awful pain in my chest. It felt like I was underwater and I couldn't come up for air. Like I was drowning. My head was pounding and I just wanted to end it right there. I could barely keep my eyes open from how much I had been crying and I couldn't see properly from the tears in my eyes. I opened up a cabinet in the back and grabbed a cleaning product. I was so exhausted and I couldn't take it anymore. I tried and I tried to open it be because it had a child safety lock on it. And I just fell to the floor and cried until I felt like throwing up. I couldn't get it open and I was so mad at myself cause I couldn't open it. I was so tired. I can't remember what age but it was either 9 or 10.
I feel so trapped.Words can’t explain at this point,somone help me
Hi,
I'm here for u and care. Wanna talk?
Also my friend and I are starting a Google hangout group chat for people with depression. Would u like to join?
Are you there Kara
I was 10 when I found a rope,tried to hang myself,but was afraid of death
I am so far gone and I want to continue but it's so hard. But I will try. YOU have to get through this. No one will be able to do this or fix this but YOU. The world is a beautiful place and sometimes it's risky to find out how beautiful the world is. You only wish you could stay in this world when it's too late,
I was 7 when i attempted to take my own life. I had been told that i was Worthless growing up. At the age of 6 i had carved those words into my inner thigh. I was ready to die. But then i heard my sister running down the stairs. Calling my name. Wanting to play. See she has always been full of life. Shes the Light while i have always been the Darkness. All i could do was imagine. My sweet innocent sister going downstairs and seeing a knife buried into my throat bleeding out. Choking on my own blood. I couldnt do that too her. I couldnt bring that trauma to her. So i put the knife away and we went up and played Legos and Barbies. Fast forward a few years. I have 500 scars on my body all self-inflicted. I am stopped by a boy. A boy who knew nothing about me. Knew nothing about my life. He offered his hand and helped me up. He introduced me to a group of kids like me. We became a Family. No not a Family we were closer than that. Gradually Depression claimed those 7 brilliant souls. Each time i lost a Friend i turned to suicide. When i lost the last friend (Merrie) to suicide i drove up a mountain and parked my car right next to the edge. I was trying to convince myself to go over the edge. I had no one left. Nobody. I was nobody. And then i imagined the horror my sister would feel seeing my corpse pulled out of the car seeing the mangled body. Never being able to talk to me ever again. I would never see her get married. I would never see her have kids. But i was so ready to go. I started forward when i heard a loud honk. A car had followed me from school. They were concerned. See i had been crying all day. And they were concerned. The guy in the passenger side of the car got out and ripped open my door and dragged me out. And just hugged me. I cried into him. I beat on him with my fists. I wanted to die. I wanted to join my mates. And he wouldnt let me. I never found out who did it. They never told me their name. He escorted me back to my car and followed me until i got home. The acts of kindness that i had seen all my life inspired me to help others. I stopped living for myself and started to live for others. I threw myself into saving other people.because i had been saved multiple times by people who didnt know me. So it was my turn to help others.
I was 12 the first time I tried to kill myself.
If I would’ve known then that my life wasn’t going to change I would’ve never changed my mind. I would’ve been successful.
I'm very ashamed to say that my first attempt was when I was 12....
Why would a boy who has 12 yo tries to suicide
I attempted at 10
@@marymary-yj2rz I can't tell if this is supposed to be offensive, but if it is, then you have no clue what it's like to have depression or feel suicidal
@@sammiesisland1487 i do okay but why would someone so young have a depression i don't know but they just overreact to anything and so weak that they can't handle their problems and they feel empty inside and lonely and diffrent
mary mary There are many factors, from an abusive environment to the loss of a loved one or bullying or even something worse. No matter what age you are that sucks. And not all 12 y/o overreact to everything
I watch this so often I think its not healthy anymore...if it ever was...
I'm dying my depression is getting the best of me and my first suicide attempt was to slit my throat also
I slit my wrists and feel no pain won't it be the same if it was my throat I'm alone and I don't know what to do. I cut my wrists and starve myself until I pass out I need help...but how do I get it?
I tried to kill my self when I was ten and I'm 14 now and still depressed 🤧🤧😭😭good bless plz I need someone to lift me up
Hey, are you still in the need?
Somedays all i want to feel is pain, i feel nothing at all, I'm not sad neither am i happy but all i crave is pain and i get so angry and agitated when i dont, is this normal?
This is honestly hard..I have re occurring severe depression, I have tried to commit suicide many times..I have scars now nothing is changing...
I'm watching this vid 'cause i feel you...😢🤧
Woher is das 1.audio?
"If i knew then what i know now it probably wouldnt of changed very much" to all struggling i love you.
I was 6 when this came into my mind and still in my mind.. can relate to this....
Series name?
Von wo ist das gerede?
I tried to kill myself when i was 15 but one thing stopped me i thought about my family and my friends that kept me all of those years in my life and now am here
Truly yes
What is this from? Or is this an original
i listened one song that had this line in the beginning, does someone know the name of the song? i can’t remember it.
i wanted to die alone
I have never attempted suicide, but I have slit my arms before. I’m 14, and for nearly my whole life I’ve lived with anxiety and depression, though the depression side didn’t kick in fully until later. When I was 3, my parents divorced, and I remember I was so… perplexed. So confused. So afraid. I would throw up constantly, throw tantrums… you name it. And most of you probably are thinking, “three year olds normally do that.” But this was different. The “tantrums” weren’t just because I didn’t get my coffee milk when I wanted it or because I didn’t get my way. A lot of times they were just… random. And at that time, I didn’t know why. I was too young to understand what was really happening. Why my mom packed our suitcases and drove us to my grandparents’ house. But I wasn’t too young to understand that I was starting a new chapter in life. For the next year or two, this pattern of tantrums and vomiting constantly kept occurring. And I was and still am very healthy, so it wasn’t usually because I had a stomach virus. It was because of my anxiety. I would just get so afraid… so lost.
From preschool to 3rd grade were some of the hardest years of my life. From preschool to the end of my first grade year, my mom was an alcoholic and drug addict. She would parent out of anger, not love. If I did something wrong, she wouldn’t even explain to me why it was wrong. She would just get straight to yelling at me and beating me. I knew she wasn’t trying to be abusive, but I was so young that back then I didn’t know the difference. One time she whipped me so hard there was a huge red mark on my arm and the school counselor had to call me down to speak with me about it because all the teachers were so concerned when they saw it. No one probably would have guessed that happy, go lucky, little me would have gone through all was going through, because I acted so different at school. And if you think things got better after my mom became clean, you’re wrong.
My dad was a drug addict and thief. He was engaged to a woman that I really loved and trusted as my second mom based on what my real mom had done to me. But their relationship? Toxic. Always yelling at each other, to the point of me being woken up at night and crying myself to sleep because I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I didn’t know what to do with my life anymore except act happy in front of everyone else. Eventually, my dad was arrested, and once bailed out, he and I moved in with my grandparents. He was arrested two more times and is now in rehab. My life has been very hard… but a lot of people see it as, “People have worse than you, there’s kids that don’t have water and you complain about this?” People just don’t understand….
Started self harming at 9, I’d scratch and pick at my skin until it bled and say I fell over, by the age of 11 I started cutting and my scars covered my body, when I turned 12 I had my second suicide attempt. And five more after that. I freeze up when people ask if I need a paracetamol for a headache now. I can’t take them.
I tried to kill myself when I was 13 I turned 14 on October and I remember it.no one cared.i was just another girl.i try to dress pretty I try to look good and yet I'm still ugly and fat and u worthy and I'm not anything or.anyone.i might as well just disappear
This title is what I have been, and to the rest of the video....
What's this from??????ant one know
I was nine when I started making myself throw up I was 10 when I started cutting I was 11 when I tried killing myself I'm still 11
I just hate myself so much it’s unbearable
I was 13, and I felt the lowest ii ever had. I'm 17 now. And still have attempted almost 6 times. All of the attempts failed and I try so hard not to go back to that but that sad reality is that, death is the only good thing anymore.
PREACH 😭🙏🏽🤕
I just dread always having to live another day
Every time I've read these comments I becoming so sad.. because life is so hard. Everyone said "things will change" but nothing change.
So relatable
who’s saying this? because it legit sounds like cole sprouse
Mark henick
The first time I wanted to kill myself, I remember thinking about it all day... and I cried, well because I’m a 15 year old girl who’s a mother figure to her younger brothers, and my 11 month old brother, what are they supposed to do without me? Feed themselves... go to foster care, because their mother won’t take care of them? And I thought I’m 15... and I want to die, and no one could see me.
Whats the voiceover?
Who is the one talking?
Recovery isn't as easy as some think.
Dakota Fassel my m says it's easy it's not she is 59 she dosnt know how it feel to commit suicide at all she just thinks I need to be fixed I'm not broken u can't fix me I don't need to be fixed or found I can't get better I won't.
Mom srry it's auto correct
I was in elementary when I did. I bite my nails and I refused to use a sharp object or do anything else so I cut. But I had short nails. But I left the room with half the skin on my forearm. But somehow, the pain in head, overtook the pain in my arm so I didn't care.
The song is called "Cold" by Jòrge Mendez
Year 5- trying to commit suicide, bullied, uncared for and scarred
Year6- Faking a smile, knowing you’re hurting so bad, crying your sleep every night.
Year7- ... the day anxiety was a thing, consumed me, self esteem broke down from thinking I’m a 3 to a -10, still bullies.
Year 8- too many attempts to kill myself, scars everywhere, cutting every night non stop, crying and screaming but no one hears.
Year 9- slowly giving up, still ugly, getting kicked out of school, bullied and still cutting
Now, still crying myself to sleep, knowing no one will ever love me or help me, Letting the cold fill the empty side of my bed, slowly consuming me like my depression ...
Yesterday, 11
I'm actually crying because I'm 12 now and in the seventh grade..I've had depression since I was 9 in the fifth grade
Aww so sad but I don't cear I'm been broken for so long that emoshon are fading
Im 14 and tried to kill myself 4 times... 1 time grade 7...4 times grade 8. Even though I have a bf, I am acting in front of him, them, family, school, friends. I keep acting 24/7. Its exhausting.....
I know this is random but I'm laying down in bed crying but I'm only crying out of one eye is that normal
Crazy Kitten123 that’s normal
I was 9 and then 14 and then 16... Im 19 now and still don't know why I'm still here
This was me nd still is and everything is exactly like he said except for the the kitchen knife I pressed it against my chest where my heart was instead of my throat nd I was only 6 years old that's my first time
Does anyone know where this is from?
QuiHye Ra Mark henick
@@taeariaa2027 Thank you so much!
Danke ❤
Trotzdem hab ich jede Menge Narben an meinen Armen am kompletten linken Arm und am oberen rechten Arm
Who said this?
My friend sent me this and i dont know what hes trying to tell me…
My first suicide though was when i was 9.
The *first..* Oh boy oh boy..
I was 11 when I tried to do it :(
my mom is very depressed right now because of the loss of her mom that was my grandma she's still depressed about it though like for weeks she's been depressed about it
Zeddison Zombies fans depression doesn’t come and go. It stays for a while. Sometimes forever
I was 10 when I tried to kill myself and I was 10 when my mom abandoned me in a hospital I felt she didn't want to take care of me and didn't want me anymore but I realized I can't focus on these thoughts because they weren't going to help me they were going to hurt me
Most of this stuff is exactly me
I was 14 when I attempted my suicide. I started cutting at 12. I gave up hope of anything getting better. In 15 now. I still can't find any motivation to wake up. I have this reoccurring dream where I'm in a small dark box as it's filling with water. There's a knife and button. The bottom restarts life from where I started to feel like my death is the only thing I'm looking forward to. There is a screening of everything wrong in my life, wrong with me. The movie always has everyone's problems that connect to the beginning of my first breath. The narrator of my story is screaming at me. Why won't you help them?! Why won't you end their suffering by not existing?! There is no way out for me. I press the button, but it doesn't work. Everyone else's works, but mine broken. I grab the knife. I use it to try to cut the glass, but the knife just ends up making the water red. Red from my veins. The Ruby substance that is supposed to link me to everyone, to show we are the same, but we're not. I'm nothing, while everyone else is something, or rather, they are everything. I'm stuck. The water keeps rising. I try to use the knife to end this nightmare that I can recognize is my life, it's not a life. The knife shatters as it touches my skin. I'm stuck waiting to drown. The water then covers my head. My lungs are about to give out. The moment I feel as if I'm ready to give in, I'm awoken by my alarm, screaming that I have to do this all over again. I'm scared of dying, but I'm horrified to live.
Please hear me out and just read: I've been hit. It felt like a dream only worst. There was a loud ringing noise I could not get over it was like a movie, all I could remember is glass and blood hearing sirens and the flashing blue and red lights made me scare. I kept thinking to myself "is it time for me to go?" "Is it all over?" I tried I really just tried maybe if I was just strong enough to just stand and say I was ok then it would all get better only this hit different it all happened so fast and if i were to be honest i didnt know what to say. Sadly I didnt make it. Sadly it was my time to go, but hey.. atleast I tried I mean what do you want me to do put on a smile and pretend to be fine? No. That's not the ending that would just be a beginning. Because where I come from is plant earth and nothing ends well you might think it for one second but it all comes back, and I know it sucks but life is life and you would do anything just to survive. And that's my story that's my past and no longer to be a future.
Hi if your still reading this tell me something about you let it all out. :)
Bro how r u feeling now?
💗💗
❤️❤️
Hey, hast du Tumblr?
wow wunderschön ♡♡
"You've got your dump friends, I know what they say, they tell you I am difficult but so are they. But They dun know me, do they even know you?" Let's say that the one told you you were not good enough didn't even know you...and you were one of them.. know thyself duke
Life and death doesn't actually bother anyone in this world...it matters only to parents ...so to say..
Is anyone watching this to help a friend? If yes thank you som much even tho i dont know you, you are the People that we need
i was 7 when i tried to do that. Still nobody knows
Who saying this?
is that original or not? if not whose the guy?
yuki endo Mark Henick - why we choose suicide
I was 14...
Just one fucking year ago.
I was just 10 years old when I first tried to kill myself. I was googling how to tie a noose and how to tighten it. I was about to do it but then my mother caught me as I was tying it. She saved my life. I am currently in a happier place and don’t feel those thoughts now. Thank you mum. Thank you a lot for bringing me into this world and stopping me from leaving it.
7 years old tried to kill myself because my sister had told me to 9 years old she told me I was the reason she attempted to overdose and so I tried to hang myself moved towns got bullied by the principal and students first time I ever cut at the age 12 55 times went to a hospital. When I got out tried to kill myself. Not ashamed it's just my story
U know, this Video has 2 sides. 1. It says the way most of US felt and describes it good, BUT there is no good ending. I Do not like that. I mean, i found it. The happy ending. But others who are in this stage want to find the happy ending and seeing this is not so good. But, i hope u Read the commends end see there are some ppl that went through the same for other reasons but ended in the same Spot, and as u can see, they managed to get out and what they say is, it is beautiful on the other side. The side most ppl life in, but we are More alive then them, because we know how the Bad feels, sounds ,taste and speaks to US. We life mich better on the good side then normal ppl because normal ppl Do not think of it and live Day by Day, but we LOVE Day by Day. It just needs time. I know this sucks and sounds stupid, but its true. Keeper your head up!!
My first was a month and 2 days after my 13th birthday
Me too