Asmongold LOSES IT while watching "Game Journalist VS Pigeon"
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- čas přidán 10. 04. 2023
- Original Video: • Dean's Shameful Cuphea...
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All these 'journalists' that claim they grew up playing games obviously never found out their older brothers didn't plug their controller in.
Lmao
Great comment
10/10 comment haha.
They aren't journalists, they are rebloggers. Went university for 2 majors in the communications field, and journalism was a course I had to pass. You would be lucky if these people could solve a simple puzzle of: put the right shape in corresponding opening. Some of these 'journalists' literally look at blogs and youtube videos and tell their underlings to re-do someone else's work and change a few words. Thats it, that is all your mainstream 'journalism' is.
Roflmao
@@15thobserver there were a CZcamsr whose aptly described "Game Journalists" for what they actually are. To paraphrase what i've seen them said...
"They're not gamers, they're not a fan of gaming in general, in fact they hate gaming and gamers in general, because they're all Political pundit rejects. They wanted to be a political pundit, but they lack the clout and the talent to do so, so they're frustratingly became "game journalists" out of necessity and they're full of spite because of it, since it's a job that they did not aspired to in the first place and it's quite obvious once you noticed that, just look at their "reviews", they always put some bs social political views first in their gaming reviews. They don't talk about the game itself and even if they were they would put it last, like at the very end of their reviews."
I think this was extremely apparent during the Hogwarts Legacy game journalists' schizophrenic meltdown. Even the normies started to noticed their asylee-ish behavior.
All game journalists should stream their gameplay so we can understand what level of brain damage their opinion is coming from.
Pin this comment right now
Underrated comment 😂
The way reviews are atm I would settle for evidence the game was even installed.
this is why giant bomb and game grumps is a great place to look for reviews, tho I havent listened to the bombcast in like 4 years so let me knows if the cast or reviews still hold up.
LMAO
The worst thing is that the pigeon didn't have the instructions written on the wall
I bet it had an earpiece with someone comming it instructions though.
@@Killerbee_McTitties Of course, because humans have mastered how to talk to birds.
Oh my god hahahaha, holy s💩 😂.
@@alexmax3502 Woosh
But how can he understand him since hes an animal?
The pigeon's puzzle was also more mentally complex demanding than the cuphead tutorial "puzzle". The pigeon's puzzle required both object permanence AND object manipulation as well as a basic understanding of the physical limitations of its situation.
The cuphead tutorial simply required a basic understanding of physical limitations.
And how to read
Or you could you know..Reeee
@@arno7163 fr. As a 5 y/o kid i learned how to play toe jam and earl. That game is WILD on sega.
@@arno7163 YES, like what was written on the top and bottom of the obstacle telling you exactly how to surpass it
@@Surms41 that game in my head is so much better than the real game, because I used to have wild dreams about it 😂
This is the same journalist who reviewed mass effect saying it was too hard but the reason was he did not spend his level up points 😂😂😂
What 😂?
no fucking shot, you could pull a blind ww2 veteran from a nursing home and he could do better than that💀
god gamer alert
@@williamthatsmyname Are you sure he hasn't been playing the same game for decades?
He was a professional checkers gamer for decades
I would trust a pigeon to better review games
That coud be a very good content. The Pigeon as avatar and the AI Behind it to fill the gaps xD
Pigeon: Brrr. Brr brrrrr brrr brrrrr. Brr brrr brrr brrrrr. [9/10 a little something for everyone]
Pigeon are GAMER
I would trust a pigeon to any journalist in *everything*
@@mrsamuel5572 Same
I didnt know pigeons could be that smart
I didnt know humans could be that dumb
one of the big problems with designing bear-proof trash cans is that the smartest bears and the dumbest humans overlap quite a bit and its hard to make a mechanism that only humans can figure out
i imagine the same principle applies
Must be new to humanity. Need a guide?
@@ombricshalazar3869 that quote is inacurate. That is not the actual reason why it is hard to design bear proof trash cans. Its not that the smartest bear and dumbest humans overlap. Its just that if a process is too time consuming most people won't bother doing it and would rather use a normal trashcan. Thus the real biggest problem in designing bear proof trashcans is that it needs to be easy and quick to open for humans but also hard and time consuming to open for bears.
@@nabinoorshahil2715 So it's a Smart bears vs lazy humans?
Pigeons are actually decently smart, can be trained and (think I read somewhere) they can recognized different people.
Holy shit calling game journos birdbrained is actually a compliment for them
It's actually a compliment for anyone- birds are very intelligent!
@@nyancat8828 depends on the bird, some are dumb as shit.
Just like with people
It's an insult to birds since they're incredibly intelligent. Game journalists are not.
@@nyancat8828 especially crows. little dudes know how to use tools!
@@the_dennator7723 Yeah corvids are very smart too :D I love them and pigeons
Keep in mind, the game journalist also had context clues by where the words were placed. The pigeon just had a box.
it wasn't even context clues the game had clear instructions on what to do
At first I thought it was the pidgeon somehow controlling the game 😀
Dude yes, like that stream of a fish playing pokemon!
XD
The guy would've been done 30 seconds sooner if that was the case
@@DecayedPony lmao
That's insulting... To the pigeon.
Also the pidgeon had it harder: it had to move the little box to the right place first
@@koatam I thought about that, but the instructions just tell you what buttons to press. The journo got those right, he could control the character. The pidgeon obviously knew how to control itself and didn't need instructions for that. So they're equal on that front.
Not only that but the pigeon didn't have literal instructions written on the wall for them to see.
@@florianklatte6186 bro the instructions even had ARROWS.
@@florianklatte6186 He didn't, he failed to dash far too many times.
@@florianklatte6186 Knowing how to move your own body doesn't translate to knowing the ways you can use it. Just because you can flail around your arms and legs doesn't mean you can swim, still need to learn that yourself. The pigeon had to figure out that it is strong enough to move that cube, and that pushing it with the peak works. If that was the first time, then that pigeon learned a new skill in the same duration that it took that game 'journalist' to figure out how to time jump dash correctly.... or that he had to use that in the first place.... even with instructions written on the wall...
All things considered, watching that pigeon going back and forth between the tall block and the small block and figuring out how to use the small block, was honestly the most impressive and cutest thing ive seen today.
Loved the implication of the Game Journo having a bird brain, since there's no tall block in the pigeon's side.
@@carlosforma5978 Let's not be insulting... to the birds. The journalist brain is closer to that of a Koala than a bird brain.
@@Elmithian Okay, fair.
@@carlosforma5978 Many species of birds can form and reform neural connections very quickly. It's how song birds can learn extremely complex songs, or mimic a vast range of noises they've heard, perfectly. Ravens are astoundingly smart as well.
That game journo, however, is an absolute f*cking imbecile, whom I would not trust to remember to keep breathing.
Yea I'm impressed too. That pigeon looks so cute pushing the block around too.
The pigeon tried multiple approaches, evaluated what worked, progressed towards the solution in a logical and stepwise manner, and didn’t bitch about it online afterwards.
I think it's even worse than we think. If you ever watched the original video, During the pigeon winning part out of frame on the other screen the guy is standing perfectly still in game. It always made me think he was being told what to do, because after a 10 second freeze he does his very first jump/dash.
Nah dude, he was processing the sureal dificulty of the game. Maybe writing "dis game too hard" or some shit.
Or he was writing a note about how bad the tutorial is, like the brainlet he is.
He was googling how to beat the tutorial
probably googled it real quick
Imagine getting flamed and he typed "you played like a game journalist." I would quit right there.
could never recover...they'd have to put me on SSRI's for the rest of my life
"Yeah, well you play like a pigeon!"
^ That phrase is literally less insulting.
you play like a cat mrrp mrrp meow
If someone claps my cheeks in a game and his roast is "When are you posting your review?" I'm uninstalling.
I think one of the Monkey Island games calls its easy mode "For game reviewers"
There's another video of this journalist vs someone's 5 year old child playing for the first time, and they still lost.
Not surprised in the least. I was probably better at platformers as a kid than I am now because that's mostly all I used to play! Besides that journalist in the footage was lobotomised levels of bad.
I also remember figuring out how to play Populous even though it confused the heck out of me.
Is this the one where the kid hadn't learned to read yet so the parent had to tell them what the writing said?
Actually, the journalist did win, but barely. The reasons were:
- The kid was playing on a newer version of the game which had slightly more obstacles.
- The kid ran around just shooting for fun when told how to do so.
@@shawntraub7249 Ah, seems I misremembered. Thanks for the correction and the extra information.
@@shawntraub7249 and the kid had to stand still for a long time because he wasn't used to reading
Pigeon has Elden Ring game design. Had to figure out what to do on its own and discover the lore on the orange cube.
The best bit about this for me is that the music ends at the exact moment Dean _finally_ gets over the barrier. Like the game itself is mocking him: “what a joke that was, huh folks? Now let’s see what this guy gets into next!”
It's like the music designers looked into the future and composed that music specifically for that one person.
You know when you see a mobile game ad and the person trying to solve it is really bad. That’s cuz it’s a video game journalist
They have to make income somehow, no way they get paid more than $69 to “write” these articles.
Nothing is more humiliating than losing to a pigeon in logic. My god and that "journo" is supposed to be writing about games. For shame, for shame.
Not sure whether it's the same person, but journo give terrible review score to mass effect and he complain on how bad the gameplay is.
As it turns out the journo didn't know that he suppose to spend the skill points earn through leveling up
@@raineheartily3875 same guy
And spatial awareness.
@Zeforas Correction, it is more humiliating to lose to a game journalist, then it is to lose to a pigeon.
I didn't know that pigeons can be that smart. I'm not surprised about the game journalist though XD
birds aren't real
humans believe they are far more intelligent than they truly are, many creatures are limited by a lack of hands
Pigeons aren't really smart (even by bird standards), but it doesn't take much to outsmart a game journalist.
@@TP-pq9xx game journalists aren't real.
@@garyschollmeier779 True, that's because they are not journalists.
Man, If one day I make my own game, I would name the minimum difficulty mode "Game journo".
Please, do. XD
What? You choose that difficulty mode and then it goes to ending immediately?
@@kriscubero6778 Auto scroll level like in Mario Maker. Don’t need to even press a button.
There are already games now that have a literal Journalist Mode
That would be amazing
It's funny how I'm surprised by the pigeon's intelligence, but not surprised by the game journalist's lack of it.
Dean Takahashi has to be some kind of alpha version of an AI learning algorithm
Wouldn't put in in Alpha, it's more like a Proto, if anything.
These game journalists should just stick to visual novels at this point
Even visual novels gameplay is too hard for journalists.
@@Casstaxvisual novel gameplay, there is no such thing 😂.
maybe add in some pop up pictures...
just in case...
Visual novels have bad endings though, I don't trust those guys enough to get the good/true ones
Yea idk if they will figure out how to hit the next dialogue
Journalist: elden ring needs an easy mode. The journalist:
Pigeon is in hard mode. Pigeon puzzle is 3d, journo's is 2d.
pigeon can't even use jump and fly button, he's nerfed to hell and still takes it like a chad
Pigeon has no instructions, either. He's all on his own.
Dean Takahashi is truly one of a kind...even by game jounalist standard. XD
You might be surprised by how many "game" "journalists" can't play games to save their life
no he isn't
He's par for the course when it comes to games "journalists".
I'm in awe that dude wasn't fired on the spot. I realize some guys are bad at games, but he was boasting he's a gamer in his bio, while obviously sucking at the basic tutorial with written instructions and an icon of a button to press. And it's not the first time he shows his 'skills'.
To be fair, that tutorial did its job perfectly: it taught the player how to play.
Game journalist: Can't read instructions
Game journalist: 0 gaming experience
Pigeon: doesn't need instructions
Pigeon: ultra gamer instinct
Someone calling themselves a game journalist in 2023 is code for "Timmeh has a mental illness but he's really, really trying you guys".
This is amazing
When the pigeon is done and that video stops, the funniest part for me is when the tutorial music loops right as you look back at Cuphead.
It's almost like "Yep we're still here folks"
0:54 Ya know if that was a Crow and not a Pigeon it'd have taken a few seconds to work everything out.
Very true. Crows are op animals when it comes to intellect and tool use. The crow could probably figure out how to get past the part the guy was stuck on if it knew that it'd get a reward for doing it.
yeah. I saw a video of a crow that figured out in under 1 minute it needed to drop small balls in a tube to change the water level in another tube in order to raise up a treat/reward.
@@shazmodeus2795 Hang on, you're telling me a Crow had to do a Water Puzzle?
@@kabob0077 lol yeah, i don't remember which video it was, but if you search for crow water displacement you'll find some similar videos. It's pretty neat.
Pigeons are the game journalists of the avian world.
Can you imagine being a game dev at the expo that revealed your game, and seeing this?
You wonder why game journalists hate the idea of having to finish the game before reviewing it?
This is why.
The literal game screen: *"Press A here to jump, press Y here to dash ->"*
Him: *duck, duck, duck, shoot, duck, duck, duck, hold up, duck, duck*
that clip is beyond comprehension. the instructions are right there. you would understand the problem just by looking at it and pressing buttons. this should take a few seconds at most. what is going on in their head? it would've actually helped to be more stupid and mash buttons at random. inconceivable. outstanding performance.
Was it Asmon who said "Games are designed to be beaten. If you're bad at video games you're bad at life"
Literal definition of insanity. That bird is more sane than that game journalist
doing the same thing over and over is not the definition of insanity and shouldn't be used as a metric for how comparatively sane someone is.
(sorry, this is a pet peeve of mine)
@@callmecharlie4250 I should say more of a *sign* of insanity. Because being sane is being sensible. And there's no sense in doing the same thing over and expecting different results
the funny thing is that the game actualy explaines what to do to the player and the pigeon needs to figure it out on its own
And this is why I don’t trust main stream review sites. Main stream really just translates to “we don’t know what we’re doing or talking about”.
and the worst part is the "journalist" had instructions LUL
I have to be honest, I was half expecting for the pigeon to do a mid-air dash.
I love this GAme JoUrnALiSt vs pidgeon video so much.
A literal birdbrain outperformed a grown human adult who's profession it is to review and write about games.
The pigeon's task was slightly more complex as well.
1:02 Love how Asmongold clarify that he referring to the Pigeon.
The pigeon didn't have a step by step guide right on screen either~
The fact that the Journalist had a Head start, and directions, and still lost to the Pigeon by a long shot. Really tells you about game journalists.
This is why nobody serious into games will ever trust journalists.
The pigeon didn't even have the box already set up for it! It was at a disadvantage!
I remember seeing a video about a crow filling a cup with pebbles to get to the water at the bottom of a cup
And this is the reason they're journalists as opposed to doctors or mechanical engineers.
Check the full vídeo and see how then he keeps dying in the first level thinking he could hit the mobs in the head like in Super Mario... so fun to watch
What's funny is that it took him almost the entire length of the song to get over these 2 obstacles which are literally the 2nd and 3rd thing you do in the tutorial after crouching.
The pigeon isn't in years of debt, either.
Dean Takahashi... 20 years of experience in game journalism.
Great joke in every sentence there.
The pidgeon even won without the dash ability, wich the journalist tried and failed 😂
Not me thinking the pigeon was playing the game 😭
Deadass thought they rigged the pigeon to play cuphead
Journalist who fails at one of the most basic tasks teached in school: Reading and Understanding.
There should be a dedicated "game journo" mode for the media copies where it's literally an AI playing the game for them.
calling him a birdbrain would be an insult to the bird
Every gaming journalist in a nutshell. Pigeon W
This honestly wasnt even the worst thing Dean Takahashi did
In case you thought they were being to unfair to the game journalists
I absolutely loved this broadcast back in the day. Asmon & McConnell at their best trashing Dean for being so bad. “Pigeons are wicked smahrt though”.
The best part was when they found out that Deans employees found the video of how shit he was at video games & uploaded it on his behalf. Then they both erupted in laughter.
You should see Dean actually playing cuphead - there’s an hour long broadcast of it on here & he doesn’t get past the first level “run & gun”.
I just love how the music winds down once he does it. It's both how fitting it sounds and that it took the entire music loop for him to do it.
also take in the fact that the pigeon did not have instructions how to solve the problem
The real best part is how well the music syncs up with the persistent failure long after the pigeon succeeds.
Watching this clip convinced me that the "Jurnalist" must have some sort of brain damage to fail such a basic task ESPECIALLY with instructions written within eye distance
I genuinely am curious as to how the original journo botched it up so,badly. Hell, one guy showed his 3 year old son beating it faster than the journo did.
That dude (not the pigeon) has worse situational awareness and reaction time than my dead grandfather💀
To anyone that's seen his Harry Potter playthrough knows that this is actually a clip of Asmon playing Cuphead
This has the same energy as being a writter or a director for a Marvel production.
not only did the pigeon get there first...he also MOVED THE BOX to get closer
Damn i probably couldve cleaned the game journalists room quicker than he could beat the tutorial
The difference is the pigeon had incentive in the way of a pringle the person didnt have any incentive if he was given a pringle to work towards too then im sure the person wouldve done as well
The pidgeon even had it more difficult than the journalist having to move the block. 😩😭😭😭😭
People spamming "journalist mode engaged" during Asmon's Undertale playthrough was amazing.
I am amazed that a pigeon can figure that he can push a small box closer to an object he needs to reach. That is tool use and problem-solving; something I did not expect in a non-corvid (crows, ravens, etc). I am not surprised (but disappointed) that the journalist couldn't figure out a simple game.
The pigeon had privilege.
Im pretty sure the same journalist had the SAME ISSUE in Doom Eternal, where they couldn’t understand the concept of jumping and then quickly dashing
Yep!
When someone calls himself a journalist I get instantly suspicious and google that person. Most of the time I find out their whole education is a bachelor in arts, which is basically an un-education back to middle school level and a loss of intelligence.
Depends a little on what the BA is in, if it's a BA in maths I have a little more respect :)
@@mattc3581 I often take the time to look authors up on google and usually they have a linked in.
There are ALOT of people who only studied art and are writing for shitty online publications. ALOT. At least in germany.
As a professor of animation and concept art please do not compare my students to game journalists
Most awful games journalists wish they were writing political op eds for the NYT because their opinion is so great and insightful. Dean is an exception though, he comes from an older guard of journos that reported on consumer electronics if memory serves, so he is a hobbyist, but he's just a total bleeding idiot when it comes to video games and virtually no one shares his mindset on playing them. Which makes his long career on the topic even more baffling.
@@CrizzyEyes Game journalists should have a class and a test they need to solve to qualify for the job. Each genre. Drive a certain time on a track in Forza, finish Doom3, finish at least 1 assassins creed, finish JumpKing, finish Getting Over it, and reach a certain rank in CSGO and league of legends and a full playthrough of skyrim.
If they do all that THEN they can write shit.
The pigeon doesn't even have hands
The perfect video to introduce aliens to humanity
The bird had to actually move the object it stood on too.
"A pigeon would do a better job playing than you" sounds like an interesting insult
IGN: “Our newest contributor only wants to be paid in bread…”
The music on loop just makes it so much more painful...
The background music just makes this so much funnier!
When your hiring conditions are "able to manually breathe" but that's your own skill
And I thought the title was overexaggerating. lmao.
its like watching iterations of an AI learning
Calling him birdbrain is an insult to the pigeon.
If the journalist had to move the block closer to solve it he would still be trying to figure it out
I thought they taught the pigeon how to play the game. I really misunderstood the title.
My dove would just fly up and knock it down.
The fact the Pigeon did it in a 3d space, like it wasnt a straight path with the obstacle, had to figure all out.
Pigeon: Who's the birdbrain now?
Games journalism job interview: “so do you like video games?”
“Of course I love Gamemill games”