You just couldn't leave it the way it was,. She is essentially saying women cannot take an accountability and you saying this just proves that point further
@@jaybae7315 there is no your truth or my truth that isn't subjective standard you're applying so that you don't have to acknowledge the truth cuz you don't actually have anything valid to say. Have whatever kind of day you earned and stop pretending like you actually give a s*** about me or anybody
@@renepcj4017at no point did she say women cannot take accountability. She said as friends, we’re not able to hold our friends accountable bc we don’t know what happens behind closed doors. Goodness.
Agreed, I thought a friend of mine was solid. But after years of watching her I now see and recognize her insecurities, verbal attacks and controlling behaviors that show up when she's in a relationship, she will tear a man down verbally and she doesn't realize she does these things, & believes it's ok because she was provoked.
Facts. If you don't know what people do behind closed doors, then you really can't judge how ready they are...but also, sometimes we do know! We do know how our friends act, and we don't say anything about their behavior when they're in relationships. This is why accountability is important in those situations. You can't cosign on everything they say, when you know they're part of the problem. And sooooo many women will never check their friends on anything they do.
And some of us do know our friends. We know they are still holding on to childhood baggage. We know that she is still sabotaging. We know she don't truly value herself. But we as the friend can't change those things for her. She had to want them for herself. So all we can do is pray, cry, and help drink that bottle of wine when the time comes.
If you ask most women they will say they’re a good woman ( in a wife sense). When you ask why you may get some of the most superficial answers that have nothing to do with being a good partner, as opposed to being a good person. I was a good person before I became a wife and when I became one, but it took time for me to become a good wife. I’m saying this as someone who is in their 30’s and has been married since 22 years old. Who you are outside of your relationship does not necessarily benefit or correlate to who you can be for your partner.
Another thing to note. You may be friends and they may tell you everything that's going on, but more often than not that too is biased. By default people are going to side with their friends and no one likes to be the bad guy so when telling the story about the problems you have accountability is huge. And not just amazing "yea I know I do this that and the third" actually point out your contribution for an issue. More often than not that friend is going to help rationalize for you why you should be absolved vs your partner and that's what tends to make issues worse So like kitty said, you only see one side, don't let the feel good cheerleading of a friend make you forget about the reality of things.
Wanting your friend to be a spouse and actually being that spouse is 2 totally different things. Husbands and Wives are different depending on who is around them. You can have a married friend that is a hard working, loving, caring, fiscally responsible spouse at home but when that same spouse is out with their friends they can flip and be d##n near a super 304 ( this applies to men and women)
Another dimension that drives me crazy is: when a 3rd party starts sticking their nose in a relationship between 2 people - is it your relationship? How is it your business? Anyway, my own attitude is when a 3rd party starts poking their nose in my relationship, if the Gal allows it, I'm gone. Problem solved.
Yea, that's it... Furthermore, I hold my WIFE fully accountable. It's her duty as a wife to keep her side of her extended circle, friends & family, totally at bay when it comes to our marriage. I expect her to fully prioritize what she allows her extended circle to even "speak" about HER marriage in her presence, without separating herself. If you ain't "Woman" enough to be a "stand-alone" Woman, then you could never be a real Man's "Woman".... especially for Marriage.
Lol... She just summed up all of "Yass queen" feminism's toxic positivity without intending too. This is the problem with unconditional support. You're just gassing people up to think they are qualified for everything, when you aren't the one in charge of who qualifies for what. It's the difference between you saying, "You're smart enough to be a doctor", and that person actually being able to pass a medical licensing exam. Your opinion doesn't matter, because you don't set the standard. And offering your opinion makes the person resent the standard instead of realize that it's on them to do what it takes to reach it.
this is why its all bs, everyone thinks they aren't the problem when more than likely they are. thats why i laugh when people say they are single by choice, its more like you are single because you aren't qualified to be in a relationship.
@@rodmandrake2101 lol well then that still means they're single by choice.. they could choose to lower their standards or whatever else but choose not to.. a choice.
@@rodmandrake2101 if there are 100 men and she only wants 20 of those 100 men, is that a choice or based on "the market"? Even if those 20 don't want her, there are 80 more men that she is choosing to exclude as options.. so how is that not a choice? The only way it wouldn't be a choice is if out of 100 men, 100 of them did not want her.. and that is never the case for women because, as I said, men aren't hard to get.
This sounds dumb as hell! If single woman want to keep women single, why would she be here advocating for her friend to be IN A RELATIONSHIP????? You men make no sense! 😂
Sugar and salt look alike. You might see her as sugar but her partner may see her as salt. Just because she looks like a wife, doesn't mean she's ready to be a wife.
What? I know my homegirls and how they are with me but I don’t see how they are with their men unless I’m there WITH them in their home and most of the time, Im not! Are you with your homeboys most of the time to see how they treat their woman behind closed doors? If so, then given how often domestic violence happens yall see it and don’t hold those men accountable based on your logic!
@@laurencameron3150 why is every negative response from a woman towards man connected to being a pedo, or SA, or DM? 🤔 Most of the the men my circle are married can you say the same?
@@laurencameron3150 ... I'll take Dr. Umar's point further and say black WOMEN need to have either their own meeting or a Civil War because everybody needs to understand accountability is a part of life 👍
@@laurencameron3150..the truth of the matter is MOST people put on a front for their friends & families. The VAST MAJORITY of us DO NOT KNOW what goes on behind closed doors. And if that homeboy or homegirl is telling you, it’s 100% THEIR VERSION of what happened, and not the truth.
@TheWholeWorld1 facts. Have to take in account that yall friendship is not the same dynamic as their romantic relationship and most likely they are telling you the way the events went down through their own perception
That's real talk! The same person at church is not necessarily the same person outside of church!
Amen!
Well.... let the chuch say aman. And amen again.
Don't be an angel to the world and be the devil in your home.
FACTS
But that's everywhere or in any area.
Her & Trip NEVER MISS‼️😩😍🔥🔥💯😮💨 She ain’t lying,
I love this breakdown because it’s real and it also applies to men.
You just couldn't leave it the way it was,. She is essentially saying women cannot take an accountability and you saying this just proves that point further
@@renepcj4017if that’s your truth you should stick to it. Have a blessed day❤
@@jaybae7315 there is no your truth or my truth that isn't subjective standard you're applying so that you don't have to acknowledge the truth cuz you don't actually have anything valid to say. Have whatever kind of day you earned and stop pretending like you actually give a s*** about me or anybody
@@renepcj4017 and I agree you should get the help you need. Blessed to you.
@@renepcj4017at no point did she say women cannot take accountability. She said as friends, we’re not able to hold our friends accountable bc we don’t know what happens behind closed doors. Goodness.
She is cooking! This is absolute facts. For both men and women.
Agreed, I thought a friend of mine was solid. But after years of watching her I now see and recognize her insecurities, verbal attacks and controlling behaviors that show up when she's in a relationship, she will tear a man down verbally and she doesn't realize she does these things, & believes it's ok because she was provoked.
She makes complicated stuff more understandable
This is what accountability and objectivity sounds like 💯
I learned quickly just to be a cheerleader when friends find love❤
I absolutely love her and her comments! She and Tripp are beasts! they spit truths and facts!
Facts. If you don't know what people do behind closed doors, then you really can't judge how ready they are...but also, sometimes we do know! We do know how our friends act, and we don't say anything about their behavior when they're in relationships. This is why accountability is important in those situations. You can't cosign on everything they say, when you know they're part of the problem. And sooooo many women will never check their friends on anything they do.
Kitty, I’mma need your list of good therapists cause you’re just giving me ALL that I need in one min or less 👏🏾👏🏾
Sis is telling it like it is! 💯
Luv ha.
Sister always got that good advice coming. Love this queen💯👌🏽
And some of us do know our friends. We know they are still holding on to childhood baggage. We know that she is still sabotaging. We know she don't truly value herself. But we as the friend can't change those things for her. She had to want them for herself. So all we can do is pray, cry, and help drink that bottle of wine when the time comes.
SAY THAT LOUD ENOUGH FOR THE FRIENDS IN THE BACK!!!!
Mind your buisness outside of your friendship because you don’t know her like that..she hit that on the head
Besides from ‘not wanting marriage’, this is another reason why some of us women are not married.
@:36 if “She said that sh!t” was a person!😂
Kitty dropping another gem!! Straight Truth!!
Omg!! 😢🙌🏾🕊️ , this is a learning moment because ima ride for mine
Had a man said that, there would be no clapping
Mrs. Kittie, are totally AWESOME! I hope I get to meet you one day!
Kitty be getting us right together
It would have been nice to hear the question. 🙋🏾♀️
Amen to that preach sis!👏🏾❤️💯💯
Absolutely 💯
Simply be that supportive friend ❤
You're absolutely right ✅️ Sis. Thanks for sharing 👍 ❤❤
Complete 💯 truth
Truth spoken
Good now live it cuz agreeing with it doesn't do shit
If you ask most women they will say they’re a good woman ( in a wife sense). When you ask why you may get some of the most superficial answers that have nothing to do with being a good partner, as opposed to being a good person. I was a good person before I became a wife and when I became one, but it took time for me to become a good wife. I’m saying this as someone who is in their 30’s and has been married since 22 years old. Who you are outside of your relationship does not necessarily benefit or correlate to who you can be for your partner.
#KITTY LET US KNOW THAT KNOWLEDGE 🎯💯🔥🖤
Another thing to note.
You may be friends and they may tell you everything that's going on, but more often than not that too is biased. By default people are going to side with their friends and no one likes to be the bad guy so when telling the story about the problems you have accountability is huge. And not just amazing "yea I know I do this that and the third" actually point out your contribution for an issue.
More often than not that friend is going to help rationalize for you why you should be absolved vs your partner and that's what tends to make issues worse
So like kitty said, you only see one side, don't let the feel good cheerleading of a friend make you forget about the reality of things.
GREAT ANSWER
Damn! I love her man
I just realized this 3 weeks ago. Emotionally, Wrack and Col Depending had to move on
❤so true ❤
Wanting your friend to be a spouse and actually being that spouse is 2 totally different things.
Husbands and Wives are different depending on who is around them.
You can have a married friend that is a hard working, loving, caring, fiscally responsible spouse at home but when that same spouse is out with their friends they can flip and be d##n near a super 304 ( this applies to men and women)
That's why Kitty has those karats on her finger ❤❤❤
Another dimension that drives me crazy is:
when a 3rd party starts sticking their nose in a relationship between 2 people - is it your relationship?
How is it your business?
Anyway, my own attitude is when a 3rd party starts poking their nose in my relationship, if the Gal allows it, I'm gone. Problem solved.
💯
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾,
Absolutely
Damn. Her voice is almost as deep as old boy 🤨
Marriage isn’t for everyone…and that is okay.
Yea, that's it...
Furthermore, I hold my WIFE fully accountable. It's her duty as a wife to keep her side of her extended circle, friends & family, totally at bay when it comes to our marriage. I expect her to fully prioritize what she allows her extended circle to even "speak" about HER marriage in her presence, without separating herself.
If you ain't "Woman" enough to be a "stand-alone" Woman, then you could never be a real Man's "Woman".... especially for Marriage.
well damn....
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Welp....she said thetl quiet part out loud...
Let me help. YOU DO NOT DESERVE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. You have to work to keep them in your life. And let them go if they dont want you.
Lol... She just summed up all of "Yass queen" feminism's toxic positivity without intending too.
This is the problem with unconditional support. You're just gassing people up to think they are qualified for everything, when you aren't the one in charge of who qualifies for what. It's the difference between you saying, "You're smart enough to be a doctor", and that person actually being able to pass a medical licensing exam. Your opinion doesn't matter, because you don't set the standard. And offering your opinion makes the person resent the standard instead of realize that it's on them to do what it takes to reach it.
🙏🏾🫡💯🎯
And She is wife fine, but….
What is her name?
this is why its all bs, everyone thinks they aren't the problem when more than likely they are.
thats why i laugh when people say they are single by choice, its more like you are single because you aren't qualified to be in a relationship.
Ehhh, I think most women are single by choice. Getting a man isn't hard. Getting into a relationship isn't hard. For women, at least.
@@jas1565 choice being they cant get the man wont. anybody can get in a relationship, man or woman but is it someone you actually want!
@@rodmandrake2101 lol well then that still means they're single by choice.. they could choose to lower their standards or whatever else but choose not to.. a choice.
@@jas1565 more like the market made them single but ok! what does lower standards mean to a woman? I'm curious.
@@rodmandrake2101 if there are 100 men and she only wants 20 of those 100 men, is that a choice or based on "the market"? Even if those 20 don't want her, there are 80 more men that she is choosing to exclude as options.. so how is that not a choice? The only way it wouldn't be a choice is if out of 100 men, 100 of them did not want her.. and that is never the case for women because, as I said, men aren't hard to get.
And that'll never happen because single women want😮 to keep other women single with them and they made an art to it....... the "Sisterhood"
This sounds dumb as hell! If single woman want to keep women single, why would she be here advocating for her friend to be IN A RELATIONSHIP????? You men make no sense! 😂
SPIT THAT TRUTH KITTIE!!!
👀👀👀👀🦻🏾🦻🏾🦻🏾🦻🏾🦻🏾🦻🏾🦻🏾🦻🏾🦻🏾🦻🏾🦻🏿🦻🏿🦻🏿🦻🏿🦻🏿🦻🏿🦻🏿🦻🏿🦻🏿🦻🏿🦻🏿👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
She spoke facts.
Sugar and salt look alike. You might see her as sugar but her partner may see her as salt. Just because she looks like a wife, doesn't mean she's ready to be a wife.
Love her response! I agree and it’s good to hear this from a female perspective!
That's a weak round-about way of not holding your friend accountable.
Yes you do see those negative traits because you gave her those ideas 👍
What? I know my homegirls and how they are with me but I don’t see how they are with their men unless I’m there WITH them in their home and most of the time, Im not! Are you with your homeboys most of the time to see how they treat their woman behind closed doors? If so, then given how often domestic violence happens yall see it and don’t hold those men accountable based on your logic!
@@laurencameron3150 why is every negative response from a woman towards man connected to being a pedo, or SA, or DM? 🤔
Most of the the men my circle are married can you say the same?
@@laurencameron3150 ... I'll take Dr. Umar's point further and say black WOMEN need to have either their own meeting or a Civil War because everybody needs to understand accountability is a part of life 👍
@@laurencameron3150..the truth of the matter is MOST people put on a front for their friends & families. The VAST MAJORITY of us DO NOT KNOW what goes on behind closed doors. And if that homeboy or homegirl is telling you, it’s 100% THEIR VERSION of what happened, and not the truth.
@TheWholeWorld1 facts. Have to take in account that yall friendship is not the same dynamic as their romantic relationship and most likely they are telling you the way the events went down through their own perception
Sheeesh 🫡🙌🏼