Yale Grad Edits YOUR Common App Essays | The Best College Essays I've EVER Read
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- čas přidán 28. 06. 2024
- In this video, I'll be editing and rating two more of your common app essays (again)! Be sure to watch all the way through because the second essay is one of the BEST that we've ever reviewed on this channel! Thanks so much for trusting me with your work! If you're curious to know when we'll be doing something like this again, be sure to SUBSCRIBE and keep an eye out on our community posts where we announce (which is where we announce when we'll be doing free edits again!)
Time Stamps
0:00 Intro
2:18 Common App #9
12:45 Common App #10
18:42 Rating Your Essays!
#collegeessaytips #collegeessayhack #collegeapps #collegeapplications #commonapp #applyingtocollege #collegeadmissions #ivyleague #yale #yaleuniversity #commonapplication
#howtogetintotheivyleague #elevatedschool #kevinzhen #kevinzhensei #jeffreyyu #collegeessay
ABOUT US
Hi! We're Kevin and Jeffrey, two Yalies who want to help you get into your dream school!
About Kevin Zhen: Exeter '16, Yale '20 (East Asian Studies)
Since 2016, Kevin has personally helped more than 50+ students gain acceptances into every Ivy League University, as well as top tech schools such as Stanford and Georgia Tech. He also loves teaching creative nonfiction, flash fiction and poetry. In total, his students have won more than 120+ Scholastic Writing awards.
About Jeffrey Yu: Yale '23 (Computer Science and East Asian Studies)
Jeff is a senior at Yale double majoring in Computer Science and East Asian Studies with a concentration on China. His college admissions essay was featured in the New York Times, and he specializes in essay writing, college admissions strategy, and life coaching. He has served as a Student Ambassador to the Yale Admissions Office, written extensively about college admissions on Quora and has taught courses on motivation, passion, and leadership while sponsored by the US Embassy in Tokyo.
LINKS
Website ► www.elevated.school
MORE CONTENT
How to get into an Ivy League College 2022 [playlist] ► bit.ly/ivyzhensei
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Interviewing Friends in College ► bit.ly/collegewinterviews
MUSIC CREDITS
♪ Affogato (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • lukrembo - affogato (r...
♪ Alone (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • (no copyright music) l...
♪ Bake a Pie (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • lukrembo - bake a pie ...
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♪ Butter (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • lukrembo - butter (roy...
♪ Chocolate (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • (no copyright music) l...
♪ Highball (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • lukrembo - highball (r...
♪ Home (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • lukrembo - home (royal...
♪ Imagine (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • (no copyright music) c...
♪ River (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • (no copyright music) c...
♪ Rose (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • lukrembo - rose (royal...
♪ Travel (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • lukrembo - rose (royal...
From now until August 2024, I (Kevin) will offering doing FREE intro calls with students (and parents!) If interested in chatting, please visit: www.elevated.school/getstarted
Thank you watching our videos! Your support seriously means the world to us!!
Howdy Kevin!
Thanks for these videos!
This is the third one I'm watching this morning and I already have a full note.
Juts wanted to point ou that I filled out the form on the website you linked above and also filled out the scholarship form but haven't gotten a reply even though it's been almost 72 hours.
It would really mean a lot if I got a reply!
Thanks for these videos again!
Hi friends!! For the next month (until 11/1/23), we’ll be selecting 3 of the commenters on THIS video for a FREE essay review! To qualify, all you have to do is like and reply to this comment with something you learned from this video :) FYI normally, we charge $225 for a professional common app review with feedback from two of our ElevatEd consultants!
I learned that vulnerability, specific detail, a mix of strong & simple verbs helps with a strong personal story.
This has been very helpful! I learned that we should reflect different values on different parts of our application and can even reflect a lot of them on just a single paragraph of our personal statement ( as we can see from essay 2)
From this video, I learned that it is best to avoid cliche thematic statements. Instead, we should focus on coming up with unique themes, and adding an adjective in front of such themes can help make it more specific. I love the videos!!!
I learned that some of the best personal essays focus on creative expression and it's okay to reorganize the structure of an essay to create a powerful ending.
I’ve learned that admitting weakness showcases vulnerability, casual phrasing can be effective, and lists of threes are powerful.
I actually started losing hope about my college application. As first generation newcomer with no one to go for consultation I was very hopeless about my college essay but your channel has been helping me A LOT thank you!!!!! I love how elevated is helping students like me ! :)
Another awesome video, thank you. Reading such powerful essays sets high standards and gives me strength to move forward. Seeing you review the essays also helps to see them from a different perspective. Can't wait to see more of your videos!
You have such an amazing story! Thank you for your work and kindness in offering all of us help with the process
You are crazy Kevin! All this amazing content for free? We are so blessed you are on earth!!!!!
For the past few weeks, I have been working on my application, and Oh God! I was so happy to find your channel. Specifically watching those videos where you review essays was very helpful. Keep on reviewing them! That itself helps a lot.
Your channel is such a lifesaver when navigating the crazy application process!
I heard many people saying that you should be very specific in your essay, but haven't really felt the difference before that much. This video really helped me to see how greatly specificity can improve your essay. Another thing I learned is that showing your weaknesses also helps to make your essay more personal and unique. It was quite insightful. Thank you for all of that, especially for free essay reviews. 🤟🙌
What I find most rewarding is the honesty and attention to detail you combine into your feedback. It helps me to gain a feeling how my essay will be comprehended by the reader. Getting your thoughts on my own written pieces would be really worthwhile! Thanks a lot Kevin.
I really appreciate how you go through your thought processes as you read the essay. When i edit my own, i struggle with stepping outside of a harsh view. I suppose I really learned how essays with similar base structures (ie: working in a family buisness for both this first essay abd yours) can be crafted to highlight themes in totally different ways
Hi! I'm an international student from China applying to college this year. I just want to thank you for all the incredible you guys have done to help us!!!
The common application is super complicated but you make it way easier to navigate. Thank you so much!!!!!
I really liked the rubric you described, it gave me more insight in how i want to tackle my common app essay vs my supplemental essays and also helped me learn about types of themes to highlight in my essay and to not be cliche about them
I got to hand it to you, I've been writing and rewriting my essay for months. Your videos give me insight into how I should write it.
Navigating clz application process alone as a FGLI international was obviously very intimidating.I went through thousands of videos and hundreds of yt channels but in my opinion what made Elevated school stand out for me was Jeffrey and kevin being relatable and inspirational at the same time. You guys have motivated me to face what i use to fear a lot: to express vulnerability in essay.
I have learnt to become optimistic about my journey and to
Show instead of tell.
Hi, how are you? First of all, I would like to say that I love your videos, they are incredibly complete and help with the compression of many parts of the personal statement. In this specific video I learned about the essential parts of the essay that we need to understand: vulnerability, selflessness, initiative, perseverance, curiosity, and expression. I also understood about the "cliche phrases", and how to avoid them. I understood how putting characteristics and experiences can be essential to create a mental image while the reader analyzes the writing. You also talked about the "Problem-Solution ratio", which I found extremely interesting, because I had never heard of this term. Thank you for the video and opportunity!
One thing that I learned with this video was how to improve the endings(and the essay overall) and make everything less cliche by focusing on unique themes. I particularly really thought the part about adding an adjective to it to add more character was interesting as well. Thanks for the advice!
Thank you for all you are doing, I am a parent helping out my daughter. You are doing an amazing job. I myself watch your videos over and over again.
Hey Kevin! This was great thank you so much for the video. The chart is amazing and I will definitely implement it.
I love how ElevatEd is not only an impressive admissions consulting service but also a social enterprise.
Maybe I am overly optimistic.
But I think that the lives you change by getting underprivileged and talented students into top colleges has a strong compound effect. It would be so interesting to measure in 5 years how many lives you have changed this way.
Keep up the great work!🙏🏻
Hi! Honestly, I've learnt that the application process, specifically the essays, is an opportunity to tell my life story.And I'm going to enjoy doing that!
Fantastic essays! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on them Kevin!
Hi! I learned to avoid using cliche conclusions and instead look for what makes my essay unique.
Thank you so much for this video! I learned to avoid cliche phrases and wording. :)
Hi, your videos just opened new doors for me, I love you guys ❤🇦🇫
love this man fr
btw, i am an international student from Central Asia. Before watching your videos, I was depressed and stressed about my college essay. Now, I'm learning it and your videos are a perfect explanation and guide! Thank you sooo much!
thank you sm, it's really helpful !
I'm so glad!
I learned that they're looking for vulnerability. It's really helpful to hear the kinds of things other applicants are writing about.
Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, love this. Def need help editing my essay.
Will you guys do more videos on essays for transfer students? Videos regarding advice for transfer students have been pretty scarce from what I've searched-- at least interesting ones! I've seen lots of essay videos that break down what makes a good personal essay but not many for supplemental essays, and none for transfer essays. I love the work you guys do, keep it up :)
Where do you intend to transfer?
I've watched nearly all the videos on this channel. As an international student with limited financial resources, it has been incredibly valuable. Thank you, ElevatedSchool team, for your tremendous support. I've also sent an email with my essay; I hope you get the chance to review it and find it to your liking!
You are amazing. Your reviews sound like an actual admissions officer. Just wanted to know will the Part 6 of this series come before the EA deadline ( November 1) ?
please do it before the EA deadline it would be a great great help.
Hi everyone! It's been 2 years since we started this CZcams channel + launched this agency to help kids get into colleges. So far, we've helped more than 70+ students from all across the world and every background imaginable get into every single Ivy League School, Stanford, MIT and more! If you'd like your essay by us, just visit our website! www.elevated.school/editmyessay
I learned to use show detail rather than tell, talking about minor details. show some weaknesses and then tell how you overcame them was something impressive. Also, the solution should be the application like how to apply in the other parts of life.
Learned that I had to show instead of tell and use powerful details. Use strong verbs. Showcase vulnerability.
U guys are amazing, though I'm in grade 10 I still have endless passion to apply to an ivy league and with ur help I think I can do it, I guess 😁😁
thats awesome
Hi, I learned about the six factors to consider when writing my essay. But what if they don’t fit into my essay or I feel like they will seem misplaced.
The first essay reminded me of yours lol
The best team ever !!!
i really wish i saw this channel sooner :(((( it’s too late for me to use yall for help now
the second essay is highly likely to be written by chatgpt because the language, the words it used are sooo similar to the essays chatgpt wrote for me
u haven't read my essay yet i think i could get a chance next time, where should i upload mine ?
Ughhh my essay didn't get picked I'm so sad😭😔
Hey! I am an international student from India. I have been following your videos since 2 months now. I just hope my essay gets reviewed by a professional.
Hi
first!
No i was first😡😡😡😡
Hi international sudent from Ethiopia need my essay edited Please
Great video! We specialize in innovative SAT prep for students and would love to partner up with you to help more students! Let us know if you are interested!
Help me with my essay :(
Commonapp10 😢
First.
No i was first😡😡😡😡
Hi, from India, my cousin is trying to contact you, for the entire college process, please help thank you.