How to Win at Negotiations: Get a “No” and a “That’s Right,” with FBI Negotiator Chris Voss
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- čas přidán 21. 05. 2016
- How to Win at Negotiations: Get a “No” and a “That’s Right,” with
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We assume that getting a "yes" from the other side is the goal of any negotiation, but former lead FBI negotiator Chris Voss says knowing how to get a "no" is actually more important.
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CHRIS VOSS:
Chris Voss is the Founder and CEO of the Black Swan Group Ltd. He has used his many years of experience in international crisis and high stakes negotiations to develop a unique program and team that applies these globally proven techniques to the business world. Prior to 2008, Chris was the was the lead international kidnapping negotiator for the Federal Bureau of Investigation, as well as the FBI's hostage negotiation representative for the National Security Council's Hostage Working Group. During his government career he also represented the U.S. Government at two (2) international conferences sponsored by the G-8 as an expert in kidnapping. Prior to becoming the FBI lead international kidnapping negotiator, Christopher served as the lead Crisis Negotiator for the New York City Division of the FBI. Christopher was a member of the New York City Joint Terrorist Task Force for 14 years. He was the case agent on such cases as TERRSTOP (the Blind Sheikh Case - Sheikh Omar Abdel-Rahman), the TWA Flight 800 catastrophe and negotiated the surrender of the first hostage taker to give up in the Chase Manhattan bank robbery hostage taking.
During Chris's 24 year tenure in the Bureau, he was trained in the art of negotiation by not only the FBI, but Scotland Yard and Harvard Law School. He is also a recipient of the Attorney General's Award for Excellence in Law Enforcement and the FBI Agents Association Award for Distinguished and Exemplary Service. Chris currently teaches business negotiation in the MBA program as an adjunct professor at University of Southern California's Marshall School of Business and at Georgetown University's McDonough School of Business. He has taught business negotiation at Harvard University, guest lectured at The Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University, The IMD Business School in Lausanne, Switzerland and The Goethe School of Business in Frankfurt, Germany. Since 2009 Christopher has also worked with Insite Security as their Managing Director of the Kidnapping Resolution Practice.
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TRANSCRIPT:
Chris Voss: You know, successful negotiation is not about getting to yes, it's about mastering no and understanding what the path to an agreement is. Now people are constantly trying to trap us by giving us to say yes. I mean we get hammered on this every single day. Lawyers actually have a term for it they call it cornering. And there's a theory of negotiation out of there called mirror agreement that says the more little yeses I get out of you the more likely you are to say yes to a big yes. So I don't know if that was ever true, but I know that we get hammered so much day in and day out with people trying to trap us with yes; trying to corner us; trying to lead us places by getting us to say yes, that we get defensive instantly when someone tries to get us to say yes. So you've got to get out of the getting to yes mindset, instead understand that yes is commitment and we're always worried about what we've let ourselves in for when we make a commitment.
There are three kinds of yeses. There's commitment confirmation and counterfeit. People are most used to giving the counterfeit yes because they've been trapped by the confirmation yes so many times. So the way you master no is understanding what really happens when somebody says no. When yes is commitment, no is protection. If you say no and you just protected yourself, you're actually a little more open to hearing what the other side has to say, because you're not worried about what you've committed yourself to. So you can take most questions that are designed to get yes and simply turn them into the same question where the answer is no and it gets you to the same place. If a boss gives an employee an impossible task and the employee says, "Well you want me to be successful don't you?" That's pushing for a yes. The flipside question to that instead is, "Do you want me to fail?"
It's stunning what people are comfortable saying no to. So first of all understanding that you can use a no to make somebody feel protected and a little more open-minded to hearing what you have to say. Now the second move after that is what do you want them to say next? W...
For the full transcript, check out bigthink.com/videos/chris-vos...
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So i was working with my boss and the contractor was on site pushing us to get a job done. Seemed like the contractor wanted us to work right through lunch n my boss didnt have the gumption to tell him otherwise. I wanted to take lunch so i asked my boss a NO ORIENTATED QUESTION. In a secretive tone I said to my boss. (Who doesnt like to be told what to do, especially by a pushing contractor) "Would it be a bad idea for us to take lunch?" He immediatly responded "NO! we can take lunch anytime we please. As a matter of fact lets go as soon as we finish laying this poly down."
WORKED LIKE A CHARM!
THANKS CHRIS!
That was fascinating. I wish the video was longer.
Michael Winter
NO
..........................................
buy his book
this person has a book.
***** What you said is irreverent and more or less common knowledge.
Heith Miller and a whole company that teaches to this stuff known as the black swan group
I will use this during the next argument I have in the youtube comments.
But will that really make you better at arguing?
+partha sarathy "no," now I want you to agree with me and have an epiphany.
TheAlmostbob It will help me win.
I would hate to be this guys kid 😂
+Melanie McKeehan
Chris: did you steal the candy?
kid: no
Chris: but you wanted to eat the candy without me knowing right?
kid: thats right!
Chris: >:D
kid: D:
you have no idea..
Um his kid works for him teaching negotiation. His name is Brandon voss. He’s mixed as Chris’s wife maya is an african American woman. Both maya and Brandon work for Voss’s company the black swan group. Google it. His son is a master negotiator and learned everything Chris preaches
@@EktaShah82 Why exactly did you find it remotely pertinent to throw in his biology?
Legal Tyranny no particular reason. Was just describing what I’ve seen of him. Though I think maya may be Brandon’s wife. Not sure who his ex wife was
I read your AMA. You're awesome!
Damn fantastic upload!
The moment you said, "Do you want me to fail?" I instantly thought how manipulative that statement is.
You're essentially, putting them on the defensive, where they have to justify themselves. I'm sure that works for negotiation, but I don't see a good relationship coming out of that.
+Sori Fierce Hmm.. I don't think you're trying to make them defend themselves moreso than to be more open to hearing what you are trying to say... At least that's what I got from it
+Sori Fierce "Do you want me to fail?" yeah sounds... accusatory
+Sori Fierce id have just being honest and said "i don't really care either way'
Medical Cannabis Spain
lol
That's how all these manipulative techniques work. Yes, they work, but the person your applying them to will notice and fel uneasy about you.
This is a great video. GJ big think
More to come, George!
Smart.
I honestly can't tell if this guy is in the FBI or the mob... his points of discussion could go either way.
+Chris V You assume they are not the same.
+drink15 They're not. Stop it.
+TheSami5963 explain?
The politicians answer to business.
either way you do get the feeling he could make you dissapear
As Al Capone said: "You can get better results with a kind word and a gun, than you can with a kind word alone".
Look where that got him
Did Big Al really say that?
He's right!
David S. Lmaooo I see what you did there
Could you provide an example please?
I am a proud supporter of the door-in-the-face effect.
How do you not include any examples in this? Don't treat me like you're buzzfeed. 10 AWESOME negotiation tactics; buy this book to find out!
+effdatitsnick He did include an example. The impossible task asked by a boss.
those different angle in each eye when he talks told me "Don't trust that FBI negotiator, he is making time and is laying to you"
Got his book after this video. I'm interested more he's got to say.
+guomaster Are you a bot-ad? Yes? No? That's right?!
+UchihaDualStorm i bought the book and it has changed my life!
I wish more people read the book.
If everyone read the book, it'd be useless.
How have I never consciously put together that "no" tactic? I'm sure I've used it before but I never realized the power behind it until now.
"When they have an epiphany they're showing and telling us that they feel empathy from us. This will give you latitude."
The example probably should've been tweaked a bit, I don't think saying "Do you want me to fail?" to your boss will end well for you.
ah, but maybe that is his point! Maybe its because we think this, we don't try and thus lose out on the better deal. Or maybe you get the boot. Coin flip haha
Really think about it. Your boss doesn't want you to fail if they have any sense, because if you fail then they've failed. Just as it's your job to do whatever it is that you do, your boss' job is to ensure you're doing that as well as possible. If you're failing, they're failing, and are not doing their job.
An actually useful video from big think? what is this?
How would car dealer deal with this guy
Christopher Walken
+Tyler Lizotte I don't know, how you got, that guy, in the video, to sound like christopher walken, I mean the guy, doesn't even take, random speech pauses, for no reason.
+Tyler Lizotte Or Billy Bob Thornton maybe ?
That could have been so much better. I wanna try this :)
I don't know, how you got, thát guy, in the video, to sound like, Christopher Walken, I mean that GUY, doesn't even TAKE randomspeechpausesfornoreason, AT all.
Christopher running
This guy has a lot of ethos and charisma.
Ask in way that you'll get 'NO' and 'THAT'S RIGHT' from other person in conversation.
Machiavellian intelligence
Look for his second video, how to impersonate Christopher Walken.
No Chris Voss, I don't thake it just because you say it. Yes I may be wrong but No I'm definitely not convinced. ;)
Noticed how he rarely blinks for some reason. Makes him seem more stern
My advise for 500years descents of me--- BIG THINK
its very much true. the yes strategy. i worked with one who sold only that. thing is people are easy. you know people agreed to expensive dollars a month deals )ad revenue for companies and such) in like a minute. and he only mentioned that deaL at the end. but you cant just jam it in. you musk sneak it in, convo wise. someone like me, who have trained people in the cia for fuck sake. I never comit to one method. but this is good stuff
Some real life examples where this strategy was put to use would have been very helpful. Good video nonetheless.
Xo1o it’s in the book
I plead the fifth
no
That's right.
No
That's right
+Poverty Gaming No
This dude is in my fucking head omfg!
Step One: Leave the talking to Lucille.
Good video.
Can a get a compliment back? 😆😆
+Emily Mendoza no. :0
+Michael Perez
Well can I get a No?
+Emily Mendoza That's Right!
+Emily Mendoza Nice ass
The Blind Leader
Lol you responded to the wrong person haha
He reminds me of Christopher Walken...more cow bell? No
this guy seems to have really low energy levels.
I got nothing from this. Perhaps the concepts are too high level for my simple mind. I don't think I'm any better at negotiations after seeing this.
+jbmop Because he didn't give any examples which was my biggest problem with the video.
+effdatitsnick He did give an example. "Do you want me to fail?"
The first step is the easiest to see once you know to shoot for a "no".
Past that everything is contextual. What he's talking about is building rapport instead of alienating at a moment that might not seem important, but very much is. Conversations, especially points of contention where the power is out of balance either way, are an exchange of energies and ultimately a cost-benefit analysis on many levels. By shooting for a "no" instead of a yes, you get the same question "answered" but instead of draining your opposite, you have empowered the both of you. They don't feel vulnerable. They feel safe. Someone who feels safe will be more likely to empathize and share.
I know, I watched the video... That example sucked. I'm not going to try to manipulate my hypothetical boss by accusing him of wanting me to fail.
effdatitsnick You'd be surprised, but I can reasonably see it working on teacher, proffessors to some extent and parents for sure. To dismiss it outright is to deny its efficay entirely and that's not so. Perfect it aint but its a causeway to understanding many people miss.
Bc you haven’t read his book where he had better concrete examples and put all his techniques together which help you get the overall pic
Sooo...
What I have learned from this is if i take hostages to never negotiate. Probably shoot a beautiful woman and let her fall out of the window to get the message throw that there will be no negotiations.
Thanks big think!
You wouldn't be in the hostage situation if you weren't planning to keep the hostages in the first place. The SWAT would probably shoot you on first sight if you act crazy like that.
actually the last bit of this video could be seen as relationship advice. and by that i mean the black swan cards. if she’s “willing to put you in a position to feel connected to her, “ she’s trying to see what your like, before she picks you. try before you buy with a consolation prize for the “nice guy.” Nega tron ouT
+NeGA TroN start at 349 lulz
Yeah but HOW god im tired of these videos that don't show examples just dumb talking
Trump must have used this technique
+ImSimplyLegit
Trump uses ALL the techniques. Hes an effective Machiavellian. If that doesnt scare you, I cant help you.
I wish that this person had provided more concrete examples. Some of what he said piqued my interest, but it was so abstract that he lost me.
Take some psych courses. Doesn't tell you how but gives basics that you can figure out to your advantage.
It's not meant to spoon feed you, it is precisely to pique your interest.
I wish this applied to Trump supporters