I HAVE NO WORDS!!! NF - How Could You Leave Us (Reaction!!)

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  • čas přidán 11. 05. 2022
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    #nf #howcouldyouleaveus #therapysession #kraytv #dreamsquad #thejourney #rap #reaction #musicvideo #hiphop #nfrealmusic #firsttimehearing
    What up DreamSquad! We are back at it and back on the NF journey! This song was highly requested so here we are with our first time hearing therapy session. This track was everything and more!! I hope you enjoy.
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Komentáře • 128

  • @KRayTV1
    @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +20

    How did this track affect you? Let's talk about it #DreamSquad

    • @falarine
      @falarine Před 2 lety +2

      #RealMenCry

    • @deweyclaude
      @deweyclaude Před 2 lety +2

      It hit hard man. My dad left me and this song hit that home run. I can feel his pain

    • @starlord5032
      @starlord5032 Před 2 lety +2

      I heard it when it was new, before my mom passed away. I found it worth hearing once as it is a vivid reflection of what he had to go through and it comes from Nate's heart but I couldn't listen to it a second time.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +1

      @@falarine facts

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +1

      @@deweyclaude I know the feeling I was raised by my grandparents so I grew up with a few issues do to unanswered questions and not knowing how to navigate my way through that

  • @ItsMeTeenuhLeigh
    @ItsMeTeenuhLeigh Před 2 lety +63

    Growing up in the Pill Mill capital of America, I have seen all too well what pill addiction does not only to a person, but a family, and even an entire community. This song just hurts different.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +9

      I like how you put it...it just hurts different...yea this song was heavy...def had my mind going places

    • @marvinthemartian4044
      @marvinthemartian4044 Před 2 lety +2

      Broward County?

  • @adamantium7415
    @adamantium7415 Před 2 lety +40

    This is one of the stongest displays of emotion lyrically of all time.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +3

      @Adam definitely up there I agree

  • @thereseball
    @thereseball Před 2 lety +34

    Thanks for braving through this one. Like others, it hits home every time. My Dad died from suicide after years of alcohol & pill addiction. It's been decades, but it still hurts like hell. Nate (NF) always knows how to put the pain into song.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +4

      @Therese thank you for sharing that 🙏🏾 and yea this one was tough...I still haven't processed the death of my cousin sooo it took me there...but I am glad I powered through it

  • @mistique77
    @mistique77 Před 2 lety +14

    I thought I was done but, when Nate started crying, he had everyone leave the studio and he finished it by himself 🙏😢💕 this one still gets me ALL the time too!!! 💔

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +3

      Damn didn't know that....wow even more impressive now

    • @mistique77
      @mistique77 Před 2 lety +1

      @@KRayTV1 I have been through SOOO VERY MUCH MORE than most people will ever even see in their lifetime... it's a VERY dark place RT NOW Hun...I wasn't saying on my last comment that I was an addict but it has ALWAYS been VERY MUCH a part of my life and I'm physically and mentally scarred for the rest of my life ❤️‍🩹. And NOBODY CARES or wants to help

  • @ryanmccain1158
    @ryanmccain1158 Před 2 lety +15

    I appreciate the honest reaction. This one and let you down get me crying every time and I'm a 47 year old man.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +4

      Hey tears have nothing to do with age, and thank you I appreciate it. I'm glad you still hear rolling with the Squad def is amazing to see

    • @sharkb0078
      @sharkb0078 Před 2 lety +1

      Same, every time. This one hits and was thinking the same thing with let you down, also Story

  • @Kimmielove70
    @Kimmielove70 Před rokem +2

    I was in prison when this song came out my daughter 23 was 12 at the time 12 or 13 and i am a recovering addict… knowing this is his story, just cuts to my💜😫 even after doing 10 years and missing some very pivotal moments in my kids lives I went back to that lifestyle again, and again and again 😫 i got out 2018 and no natta for 2 years👏👏👏 my daughter just had my first grandchild and she had her 11 1/2 weeks early but our relationship has really healed & with my son also💜 thank u🌼🌺

  • @induguhalisi6851
    @induguhalisi6851 Před 2 lety +7

    10:27 I see you bro! This is what makes Nathan different then all the Artist out there. His REALLIFE is on CDs. Its all out there for all to Judge and have opinions on, How many Humans you know, forget Artist, how many Humans keep it 1000 like Nate? Love this dude.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +2

      Haha you have a great eye haha 😄 and yea he does which is why I love his music

  • @johnathonshelton8842
    @johnathonshelton8842 Před rokem +2

    Addiction is one of the toughest fucking things ive ever witnessed and been apart of myself. I wouldnt wish this shit on anyone. It destroys you, breaks you, buries you. If you need help, please reach out. Theres people out there that wont judge you, i promise.

  • @GreatNastyNate
    @GreatNastyNate Před 2 lety +15

    Great reaction. Good job making it through. It's a tough one. Yet I feel everyone should listen to it once. The emotions NF invokes in this song can profoundly effect others. Hopefully helping others in there lives.
    New sub.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +2

      @GreatNastyNate thank you! Yea I agree everyone should listen to this at least once as it is one of those songs that will give you more insight into who NF is and it can possibly help you as well. Also welcome to the Fam/Tribe #DreamSquad glad to have you here 😀 😊 🙌🏽

  • @Spunky62
    @Spunky62 Před 2 lety +1

    ✌️❤️🙏and it's OK to GO THERE!🤷‍♀️😁

  • @mr.hustleakamike2734
    @mr.hustleakamike2734 Před 2 lety +3

    Every time I hear this I cry grown ass man

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před rokem +1

      And ain't nothing wrong with it

  • @Kimmielove70
    @Kimmielove70 Před rokem +2

    I Battled addiction for 20 years z😩😩I was in the middle of pell-mell America two had my first surgery and then it was done and over with actually this song found me when I was in prison Even after I got out doing this last five years I still obviously wasn't done yet but today I am ✅ and it's been a while🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️👏and it was on repeat he's an amazing artist I have a story to tell someday it's not done yet🎉 and now the Fentanyl has taken so far this year 17 ............. 17 friends who a lot of them were like family 🎶🎶great reaction 🎶🎶🎶👊🏻👏✅

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před rokem +1

      Thank you for sharing @Kimmie ❤️ I appreciate that. Also I am glad you realize one your story isn't finished and two it can save lives because it will

  • @jasonharter4876
    @jasonharter4876 Před 2 lety +3

    Anyone with a heart and/or has suffered a great loss can empathize and understand the pain Nate is going through. This is one of the toughest songs I have ever heard, and tear up every time I hear it. He is just so raw and it hits deep.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +1

      I agree with everything you said

  • @dennisr.4918DennyDesigns
    @dennisr.4918DennyDesigns Před 2 lety +6

    Thanks for doing that K-Ray. I could tell that your heart was going out to Nate. You are doing it right. The cool thing about the journey is each album gets better and better. But these first two which are dope as well, take us through the battle Nate is going through dealing with his emotional baggage. He has already explained to us he invited Fear into his home and he sleeps with Regret. We heard in All I Have and Mansion a prelude to this song when he says, "Ever since those pill took my Mom I've been a different person" and "I look around, one of the worst things I wrote on these walls
    Was the moment I realized that I was losing my mom
    One of the first things I wrote was, "I wish I woulda called"
    But I should just stop now, we ain't got enough room in this song".
    When you get to album 3 Perception you will want to watch Outro first, then Intro 3 (after listening to Mansion again and paying close attention to the last few bars) and then Outcast. It will be epic!

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +1

      @Dennis thank you for being here! Yea this was a tough one for many reasons but it had to be watched, studied, and listened to to better understand him as a person and an artist and to help myself. Yea with each track I look forward to learning more can't wait to do the ones for this week

  • @SeizeDaCarp
    @SeizeDaCarp Před rokem +1

    I've watched a lot of NF Journeys. I just put my head down every time I get to this song, but I force myself to watch it anyway.
    Look forward to finishing your journey videos before his new album drops.
    New sub!

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před rokem +1

      Yea this was a rough one. I am glad you watched anyway I def appreciate it. Also welcome to the #DreamSquad glad to have you here and look forward to seeing you on other vids

  • @Lou-xq9br
    @Lou-xq9br Před rokem +1

    ❣️

  • @ashleycomer6119
    @ashleycomer6119 Před 2 lety +4

    For the longest time i had a difficult time getting through this song without feeling like my heart was breaking.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +2

      @Ashley yea I can understand that...it was a rough one

  • @sofusfljborg1628
    @sofusfljborg1628 Před 11 měsíci

    I love NF so much man❤ Been a fan of him for 7 years now and this song hits the hardest

  • @kevinrangerjr.3987
    @kevinrangerjr.3987 Před 2 lety +2

    #DreamSquad #KRayTV

  • @starlord5032
    @starlord5032 Před 2 lety +2

    Couldn't watch this whole video for obvious reasons but fast forwarded to the end to hear your thoughts and dropped a like.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +1

      @Star I understand that 💯 and thanks for sticking around to hear my thoughts

  • @Jezibelspiritsurviver
    @Jezibelspiritsurviver Před 2 lety +3

    This is the first video of yours I’ve came across, I’m half way through the vid and already subscribed. Love the reaction, you seem like a great guy. Keep the NF reactions coming brother!

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +1

      @randy I want to say first thank you for being here, no matter how you found the channel I'm glad you did. Welcome to the #DreamSquad 🙌🏽 and yes the journey will continue as will post some NF vids every week

  • @cantala13
    @cantala13 Před 2 lety +1

    Yeh this one was heavy, great reaction.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +1

      Thank you and yea this one with visuals hit a lil different

  • @Miku_1678
    @Miku_1678 Před 2 lety +1

    This song has always made me so emotional because i relate to it in some ways but i just have always loved this song for how true and honest his feelings are in it and it just hits different when you know how that feels

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +2

      You couldn't have said it any better 👏🏽 I completely agree

  • @OGkingplex
    @OGkingplex Před 2 lety +2

    This is one of the best songs ever from an emotional standpoint

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety

      @King Plex I can't disagree

  • @tbrZW
    @tbrZW Před 2 lety +1

    🙏🏾

  • @AnnieMacFlannie
    @AnnieMacFlannie Před 2 lety +1

    ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @roccomarciano6099
    @roccomarciano6099 Před 2 lety +1

    Hits hard respect from UK 🇬🇧 ✌

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +2

      Shouts out to the UK 🇬🇧 🙌🏽 and much love @Rocco

  • @MartinFransson
    @MartinFransson Před rokem +1

    This song gets all of us... for one reason or another. I lost my uncle to alcohol and depression. He was like a big brother to me and this song reminds me of that.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před rokem +1

      Yea this song I was anxious to do because I heard so much about it and I had just lost 3 family members so I didn't know if I could go through it, but I am glad I did

  • @MrStlcards69
    @MrStlcards69 Před 2 lety +1

    This song will make u cry

  • @induguhalisi6851
    @induguhalisi6851 Před 2 lety +2

    Addiction can be anything you find yourself doing over again and again what you NEED to stop doing. There is Lying addictions, Sex Addiction, dis loyal addiction, addiction to believing your own Lies. It can go on and on. Its not just Drugs and Alcohol.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +1

      These are the facts! I agree completely with this

  • @NoloPrime
    @NoloPrime Před 2 lety +3

    What's cracking my guy. This is actually one I can't listen to often. It hits home from multiple angles. Well done track for sure! Good to see you brother!

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +2

      @aiden how you been man!!??? This was my first time listening and yea...I can see why. Thanks man glad to be back and to see you still here

    • @NoloPrime
      @NoloPrime Před 2 lety

      @@KRayTV1 absolutely. I'm here for it my guy! Not going anywhere!

    • @NoloPrime
      @NoloPrime Před 2 lety

      @@KRayTV1 been doing alright. Hit 40 last week. Getting my Hot Tub and pool put in slowly but surely. Just working to stay happy and positive.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +1

      @@NoloPrime hell yea!

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +1

      @@NoloPrime I love to hear that and happy belated name day! 40 is a blessing to see

  • @wolfgirl1722
    @wolfgirl1722 Před rokem +1

    First time viewing any of your content. I’m the addict in the story tho I was lucky enough to be able to get help through the VA. Was pills and heroin… my spouse and parents had to watch and deal with all of that. I’m lucky to still be married and have a great relationship with my folks….regardless, this song breaks me every single time.
    Thank you for the honest reaction

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před rokem +2

      @Wolf Girl welcome to the channel. Glad you found you way here. Also thank you for your service from a fellow servicemen. I am glad to read you got the help, still married and have a great relationship with your parents...not everyone is as fortunate so I am glad you shared that here

    • @wolfgirl1722
      @wolfgirl1722 Před rokem

      @@KRayTV1 thank you so much and thank you for your service as well 🙏🏻

  • @sharonhutton3805
    @sharonhutton3805 Před rokem +1

    He had everyone leave the studio to do this video. ❤

  • @mistique77
    @mistique77 Před 2 lety +1

    @11:18, @K-Ray, I had to be there for & watch the kids' suffering with their mom doing these things... IT is SOOO unbelievably hard!! Especially when like Nate said that she'd call n say she's coming to get them, they pack toys etc they wanna share with her and after a couple of hours passes and she's STILL not there, no word, nothing, you have to watch as their little hearts 💔 and then you have to deal with the lashing out at YOU cuz you're the one that's THERE... and it's horrid watching this happen time and time again at least 3,4,5 times a week and then she only shows up when she is mad because of being told no you can't take them today or this week, etc... and on the other side of the coin watching someone you love more than life get caught up in it, and you gotta be there for them no matter what time it is, if you have to take your baby to school in the morning, and go through their ups and downs and EVERYTHING in between that!! It HURTS like hell!!! 💯😭😔🔥👿🙈🙉🙊

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před rokem +1

      I appreciate you for sharing your story and being brave ❤️ thank you for every comment you leave

  • @demikats
    @demikats Před rokem +1

    This is not just a song ° this is a soul deposid 😥
    #NFREALMUSIC 🔥

  • @induguhalisi6851
    @induguhalisi6851 Před 2 lety +1

    8:28 Is the Answer to why Nate is so dedicated and Committed to his Craft. He says it in another song also, About how Music is his way of being with his Mom.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +1

      I love it!! That is a powerful why and that is why his music is so epic

  • @falarine
    @falarine Před 2 lety +1

    😢 You can feel his pain.

  • @romansamm1246
    @romansamm1246 Před 2 lety +1

    this song make tear up

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +1

      @Roman I know the feeling

  • @mistique77
    @mistique77 Před 2 lety +1

    Hey doll...I just wanted you to know that first of all I just "found" you.. and I'm SOOO glad I did!! I've been following him since the first album Mansion started coming out if not before that? Well it was his first known album...He had one previously called Moments 😉 Anyhow, I truly want to commend you for your TRUE reaction 💯 because I've seen a ton of people 'react' to this one and idk if ALOT of them just don't have heart or if it was a fake reaction? But they don't show the emotions that as people, and idk about you, but as ppl that have seen this or been in it in some way show... anyone with any kind of heart it's going to affect like that! I'm your newest sub and glad I am!!! Yes, she od'd when he was 17 I believe.. but they (him and his sisters) grew up in it their whole lives... and his feelings towards her and what all happened caused quite a rift between them as the sister's both younger didn't I guess feel like him... I'll go check out your playlist after, but thankfully they're doing much better now and Nate is a daddy to a baby boy now as well! Peace love and light to you 🤙

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +1

      This message was everything. Sorry for the late reply. I want to welcome you to the #DreamSquad glad to have you here and I am glad you enjoyed this video. I'm not an overly emotional dude however I've learned over the years I don't have to hide behind a tough exterior anymore and it's okay to not be okay sometimes so that has def helped me.

  • @OUTCAST4LIFE
    @OUTCAST4LIFE Před rokem +1

    Watching you now bruh bruh ...👊

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před rokem +1

      Appreciate it 🙏🏾

  • @acelcruz222
    @acelcruz222 Před 2 lety +1

    🔥🔥💯💯 Reaction NFrealmusic 💯💯, gets me every time, no matter how many times I've heard it.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +1

      @acelxruz222 thank you! And I can see why the journey is def amazing and seeing ppls first is always great

  • @ollieishere4122
    @ollieishere4122 Před 11 měsíci

    This song always gets to me because my dad died when I was 14 because of pills. He kept telling us he would get better. That was actually the last conversation we had. He said he was going to get better and come to us. Because we were more important. The next day we got the call he wasn’t breathing. He was in a coma for 5 days. I held his hand when we pulled the plug. He was disabled and needed the pills. But he took them the wrong way making it into something more. So it was hard trying to give him the care he needed why he also had the addiction. He learned if he took 1 he could cook dinner. If he took 2 he could go on a family outing with us. If he took 3 he could mow the lawn and garden which was his hobby. He was a good man. Never hit us or anything. There was some mental abuse but it was the pills and not him. I’ve learned to tell the difference between my dad and the pills. It helped me heal. Today I would give anything to have my dad. My stomach is paralyzed and I’m on a feeding tube. I just got a Hickman central line (a permanent iv that goes to my heart) and it’s scary. I want my dad here for all the procedures and stuff. But all I have is the memories and a build a bear dragon with my dads voice saying my name. I’m 20 and it’s so hard.

  • @weldonbailey1005
    @weldonbailey1005 Před rokem

    Great reaction. You let the words flow long enough to let it truly affect u. Great commentary in the middle. Other reactors could learn alot from this reaction. U didn't make it all about u as many unfortunately do. This was supposedly one of the first songs Nate wrote. His words. He waited quite awhile after who knows how many edits of it to finally decide to take it into the studio and do this. Even after all that time, he couldn't finish the final draft as planned and had to empty the studio so he could just speak directly from his heart to his mom, tears and all. Took alot of courage for NF to release this as we have it. Hopefully, he benefitted from the release of pent up emotions and many others have as well. My stepson passed almost a year ago as a result of his long heroin addiction. He left behind a grief stricken mother (my wife), a teenage son and numerous family members and friends. Addiction affects many many ppl. Seek help. Accept help when its given. Not codependency but true help. Mark

  • @michaelamitchell1603
    @michaelamitchell1603 Před 2 lety +1

    Such a sad song! I love it tho.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +1

      @Michaela yea this def was a sad good...a great one...but sad

  • @MrStlcards69
    @MrStlcards69 Před 2 lety +1

    Sup my bro about time you went to NF

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +2

      @Matthew wassup! And you mean about time I came back to NF lol 😆

    • @MrStlcards69
      @MrStlcards69 Před 2 lety

      @@KRayTV1 correct continued the journey my brother

  • @cheles116
    @cheles116 Před 2 lety

    As someone who was fortunate to find sobriety 14 years ago, this is what could have happened to my family. Makes me grateful and breaks my heart at the same time

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +2

      @cheles116 congratulations on your sobriety of 14 years. I know it is an everyday decision you walk with and through so I want to highlight that first and foremost.

  • @marvinthemartian4044
    @marvinthemartian4044 Před 2 lety +1

    There's a sub and a comment bro.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +1

      @Marvin the Martian ayeeeee I appreciate the comment and welcome to the #DreamSquad glad to have you here 😀

  • @LisaMajcherem75
    @LisaMajcherem75 Před rokem +1

    when I lost a 2 year old son then immediately a mother inlaw, my dad ( I was his lil girl),,, ,,,, I tried to commit suicide 4 times where it was questionable if I were even ever again coming home ever again. I wish so times I wish I wasn't because I feel like an outcast loser, proof? I have newspapers w/weekend additions, specials, everyday up dates, etc to public, a police accomidated funeral. I have all I need , autopsy stiches I felt on the back of his head ,,,, I could not take it, I was giving. I still am so broken, because my dad in 2010 drank himself to death w/all in intent, I was next and still here but why? I am useless and nobody ever believed me dammit,,,,

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před rokem +2

      @Lisa I don't think anyone is useless that includes yourself. If you are still here you are here for a reason and your story may be used to save someone else. Keep pushing you are worth it

  • @sharonhutton3805
    @sharonhutton3805 Před rokem

    He had everyone leave the studio when he recorded it

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před rokem

      Yea I learned that...I would've had to leave the studio as well

  • @whitneydickamore2477
    @whitneydickamore2477 Před 2 lety +1

    I lost my dad to suicide. He had no addiction to anything. I would like to see you do a reaction video to Rascal Flats - Why. That's a great song.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +1

      @Whitney oh wow I'm sorry for that 😔 loss period be hard so I understand...and hmm is that another sad song? Lol because I need a moment before tackling another one like this one 🤣

    • @whitneydickamore2477
      @whitneydickamore2477 Před 2 lety +1

      @@KRayTV1 ya it is. Still a great song, so check it out. When you get to.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +2

      @@whitneydickamore2477 okay I will...just give me some time okay

  • @ricardomiranda4756
    @ricardomiranda4756 Před 2 lety +1

    Can you react to Phora- Sinner part 2

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před rokem +2

      Phora I don't I ever heard of them or him or her haha 😆

    • @ricardomiranda4756
      @ricardomiranda4756 Před rokem

      @@KRayTV1 He's a real good artist. You won't regret it

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před rokem

      @@ricardomiranda4756 okay I'll SS it for my list

  • @crazyanonymio1369
    @crazyanonymio1369 Před rokem

    Men should be able to show emotions others, my man. I'm a man too and older generations of men are grown told to be "strong and manly".. It's emotionless.. Maybe futur generations will be more open and understanding.
    Thank you for you reaction

  • @induguhalisi6851
    @induguhalisi6851 Před 2 lety +1

    I paused on 8:28 look like you Constipated. 😆

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +1

      🤣🤣🤣 probably mental constipation haha 😄

  • @LAVISHING
    @LAVISHING Před 2 lety

    Loved writing this with Nate. I sent it to him after some of my friends passed away from drugs RIP Jarad Anthony Higgins.

    • @cantala13
      @cantala13 Před 2 lety +1

      😑😑😑cap.

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety

      @LAV!SH I've seen quite of a few ppl say things like this before so don't take it the wrong way if I'm a non believer atm however I do appreciate the comment and you being here and RIP to your friend as well

  • @dillidubi9713
    @dillidubi9713 Před 2 lety +1

    You're a lil late to the party dude...................................

    • @KRayTV1
      @KRayTV1  Před 2 lety +4

      @Dilli am I late or arrived when I needed to be?