This was very helpful… going through a divorce after 22 years of marriage. The pain is unlike anything I’ve experienced in my life. Thank you for your courage in sharing this helped me tremendously.
Thank you for your post . I appreciate all the comments as I’m going through a separation and I am having hard time with it all. The videos and comments are helping me stay somewhat strong .
Lisa, thank you so much for this post. Extremely helpful in my broken marriage of 36 yrs. Learned of his infidelity with 4 women over 32 yrs. He refuses to get help, & refused to let me go. I pray you find happiness.
Thank you for sharing, Im 9 months into my divorce of a ten year relationship, and this is the first video that gave me any kinda hope. God Bless you for sharing
54 yrs married & dated since 7th grade and married after 1st year of college..He Retired after 40 yrs but then he wanted to be free??? I stated Theres' the door...its been 15 months, divorce after 6month. Property settlement in progress he's not happy as he wants home we built 34 yrs ago. Not staring over @ my age 72Yrs. I'm not moving 50 yrs of things. Period...
I’m so broken. I see him everywhere. I think of him everyday and I just want it to stop. He left me like a piece of rubbish after 10 years. I can’t wait to get to the other side. I’m in debt and so lost. Most days I can’t breathe. The thing I miss most about him is his embrace. I long for his touch again. But I have to move on. If not I’m gonna deal with this pain forever. Thank you for your video. ❤️. Love and peace to everyone going through this pain. It’s the worst feeling ever!
The strength, honesty and integrity you show is truly inspiring, I have been in the eye of the storm for 5 months now and it is still just the worst, but to hear you explain your personal journey and to gain some comfort in your words which have given me a glimmer of hope for a better life on the other side of the abyss, I cannot thank you enough. And I have to agree your smile is a blessing 🙏🌻❤️
Man... I was with my husband for 4 years we got married this year in August and we have 2 children... he’s leaving me for another woman he say it’s too “draining” to continue to love me. He says he’s made up his mind he doesn’t want me anymore... this really hurt and it sucks. I really did love that man regardless of what we went through
If someone walks out on you LET THEM GO . If they were for you they would not have walked out this can be a blessing . I’m going through the same thing , 20 years of marriage , the pain is hard , it’s slowly passing. I stay focus on my life , do not look back . Heal , heal , heal and pray don’t jump into a relationship too quickly. Or you will feel worse .
This video gave me such relief. I will watch it multiple times I'm sure. I needed to see this more than I can describe. Thank you, you wonderful person for making this.
My husband left me after 40 years of marriage and he places the blame on me when I know that he is the one that quit. We never argued but did grow apart. I am still grieving and praying to move on
Like 51 yrs and date sine 7th Grade.. Wants to be free...I will never beg a man to stay...there's the door I said, but 6 month he lived in his man cave which is very nice...
I prayer for a future and hope for you in Jesus name Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I found out my husband of 21 years has been in a 2 yr. affair. I was already self-titled "The worlds most neglected wife". I knew something was going on but I didn't listen to my instincts. I saw what I wanted to see. This video is candid and is helping me heal.
Same here but mine had at least 6 affairs although he only admits to 2. He ruined my time when my kids were young due to him walking out when my son was 4 months. I am now 48 and have no energy and can't breathe. What is wrong with me for staying with him? He has anger rages, calls me names and has bruised me, knocked me over and put his hands round my neck many times aswell
@@notsurewhat2put I'm so excited my broken relationship has been restored my ex lover is back through the heIp of mr ose who can also heIp you restore your relationship
@@notsurewhat2put I'm so excited my broken relationship has been restored my ex lover is back through the heIp of mr ose who can also heIp you restore your relationship
Thanks Lisa. That he was a coward line hit me different! I didn't look at my divorce that way. She had the affair and I was left in the same situation as you were. She was a coward and I will do it the correct way for my daughter's! This video helped so thank you taking the time to make it. Take care.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I feel like you where inside of my brain speaking exactly what I was feeling and it was a really low point when I ran across your video and I can say you may have saved my life because when I listen to your story I called hotline to have someone to talk to to get me through another night. Thank you again so much. God bless you
You're blatantly hurt deep. My spirit is sorrowful. Hearing this, frustration/painful sound of strain in your voice periodically is saddening. I feel empathy. Sucks really bad going through cheating and narcissistic abuse.
These realizations are brilliant and such a professional quality video - you are special - God has blessed you with a skill here - May God continue to bless you.
Thank You Very Much for this. The Wedding Vows are so Simple if kept and followed(Basic Promises) but The Cheaters never do in the end unfortunatly. 25 years together and helping support her and her nusing school training she cheats with a Handyman (9 months) in our home, office and forces me out of the house and gives me a minimal check for equity now she's on her second guy . You are right when you say I would never have done that to her and if I did she would have known that same day not 9 months later. We still share a Family pet and I have maintained a good relationship with her Mother and the former but it's only by God's grace and strength because this has been the most hurtful and unbelivable thing that I have ever gone through.
I really enjoyed this video, thank you so much. A lot of your realizations speak to me, it's like you're speaking for me but I didn't realize these things yet. I was suffering from terminal uniqueness I think. Thank you :)
My wife of 27 yrs left me for a co worker of hers, I was blindsided when she said we grew apart and she didn't want therapy. Her mind was made up, and I am a mess...some days are bad and some days are good. I still love her and I am still confused. At least we had 4 beautiful children who love me back , that is what makes my life worth living. Thank you for the video...it helps ease the pain.
My husband of 13 years told me on Mother Day that he didn’t love me anymore and wants a divorce. I can’t eat, sleep, breath, work, live...you name it. Are you ok now, do you feel better now? I’m so broken.
@@summerfields2792 Yes I am getting better I have been focusing on myself and my relationship with my children. I can sleep at night now. The hardest part is not knowing why! And how she can treat me like a stranger after all these years. I have kept myself busy at work and at home plus set some new goals for myself. Hang in there it gets better and you will find the motivation to love yourself because you can stand on your feet again.
@@summerfields2792 don't give up on yourself. You are special. You deserve better and believe me you will attract someone who will see the beauty in you. Stay strong. Stay busy. Do the things you have wanted to do. "YOU ARE AN AMAZING , UNIQUE PERSON." Take care of yourself because no one else will. Your distant friend Robert.
This was the best peice of wisdom I got from anyone. I think realizing that my situation is not unique was the only thing that clicked in my mind so far. Thank you! Please keep sharing
This video is amazing and powerful! Thank you so much for your honesty and openess. Wow, I'm just nodding along through my tears while listening. My wife of 8 years just left me without any reason and it's been hell. Hearing you and listening to you verbalize so clearly the things I feel in my heart is so needed! Thank you for being brave and sharing.
@@lisaarends8742 thank you. I have to say I have an amazing psychologist that saved my life. She is helping me to focus on me and to get through each day one step at a time. Probably my biggest challenge is to learn how to stop lovibg someone who has stopped loving me a long time ago. She never shared or even said she was unhappy, she just ended it and refused to work on it or go to counseling. My friends have also been amazing. Many days I get really angry that she did this but my therapist reminds me that anger is just a secondary emotion to pain. So Im trying to separate the pain from the memory of her. I want to preserve a marraige that I experienced as beautiful while letting go of the pain so I can move on. I deserve happiness and I deserve someone that loves me the way I need to be loved not the way they want to love me. At least this is the plan...
You must be a truly strong person to be able to endure such hardship, and still be able to not only process the struggles that come with divorce, but also be able to break everything down to lay a roadmap as it were for those of us that still have that hill to climb. Mostly though, your calm and poise has given me hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel; for that, thank you. This is what I needed to hear today.
I really want to thank you for your kind, measured tone in relating these realizations. After two years of burying my emotions and not facing my pain, it all came at me like a dam bursting. So I feel like I am just beginning the process, even though the divorced was finalized long ago. Thank you for your openness, honesty, and caring.
Your videos are really helping me. My divorce isn’t final, I just signed today and sent him the copies through email instead of going to see him, and he emailed me back thanks and he was going to work for the night, and I actually dissected why did he tell me that, is he really going to work? Why does he still feel like he needs to tell me what he’s doing, does he still care? I mean, how sad is that? I think I’ve been driven slightly crazy from this marriage and I also think he might enjoy playing with my head, but I might be paranoid, idk anymore. I just want to not feel anything for him anymore except indifference.
I signed mine 5 days ago, just waiting for date of hearing. The pain that divorce brings is intense, at beginning of separation I felt like the pain would kill me.
She was at the house last night to grab some stuff then she left. After 19 years it will likely be the last time I ever see her. It’s f’n hard to believe. I left my job yesterday, I signed over the house to her today, and I’m moving 1800 miles away tomorrow morning. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it needs to be done. For 4 months I feel like I’ve been shrinking and being continually pushed into a funnel.......but starting tomorrow I will start to come out the other side. I’m exhausted both physically, mentally and emotionally. I’m ready to push forward....it’s the only way. Stand up straight, push your shoulders back and tell yourself you will not be defined by a divorce. There is life after this setback. Go out there and live it!
I really want to say thank you. I got married very young and divorced very young. I really don't know how I should face future life with the identity of a divorced woman. Besides, my ex-husband hurt me deeply, and I don't know if I can trust anyone anymore. Thank you for saying that what happens one day or during a specific period doesn't affect my whole life. Thank you for saying I at least have a life.
The first step is to realize the truth that a divorced woman is NOT your identity. Divorce is just something that happened to you. You are more than that part/phase of your life.
Thank you, Lisa, for this gift. I'm still reeling from my divorce 8 months later... emotionally, I've been all over the map. It helps to know that there's a way forward and out of all this.
Sending you love and healing energy. I just wanted to reach out and tell you that you won't always feel as bad as you do right now. I wish for more positive days to be just around the corner for you Carolyne. Have a great day!! 🌼🌿
Going through this after 21 years together. Found out a week after my wife blindsided me and left she was having an affair for the past 5 years... the pain is unlike anything I've ever felt before. Im only 4 months out and trying to keep myself together best i can. I have no want or need to date at this time and I'm just trying to find my new normal. Scared that I won't be able to trust myself or anyone again, how can I even trust myself now after not seeing this was going on for 5 years? Hope you are doing better now.
Not avoiding feeling the pain and hurt is paramount in healing. It took years for me not to give in to my emotions and what they were first telling me. Thanks for the video!
Thank you for sharing your pain. I found out my wife was abusing my son in November of 19, and left the same day with him. Understanding may never come in this life. Thank you for being brave enough to love again. It gives me hope. God bless!
My husband of 38 yrs , came home said he had met someone on a app. And left! We have 3 children, one is getting married in a month and her biggest worry is her parents.... so not fair! Youngest in his senior yr of h/s . I read, and listen to all these self help vlogs.... all this no contact , what to do to make him come back..... but u actually made sense to me.... this is the hardest thing next to the death of my parents. The hardest is pretending everything is fine... if my children see me fall apart, I fear it will only make it harder on them.
Thanks for sharing. As we enter 2021 I need to keep moving forward. After horrific betrayal during UK lockdown after 17 years of marriage. I have 2 small kids. I'm determined not to let this form my identity
@@notsurewhat2put I'm afraid I didn't get to a place of reconciliation. I am now married to a wonderful woman who helps me look after my boys, whom I have 50/50 custody
You should do a video on how to support your friends through a divorce, or things not to say to someone going through a divorce. Like when people that I haven't seen in awhile find out about my husband cheating and taking off, and they tell me they know exactly what I'm going through because they hate it when their husband leaves dishes in the sink instead of loading them into the dishwasher.
Fairness does not exist. Dont expect it. There is real and what most call fair. Expecting fairness of rules brings heartache and outrage. Then pity party. You set yourself up by your fantasy that you set.
Imagine your wife accusing you of trying to kill your kids burying your kids alive abusing her all that was a pure lies. Now she’s making $3519 a month on me temporarily until the real divorce, then the judge told her I can only see my kids once a month but after the trial she give me my kids three times a week to sleep over my house and my 2 kids grades was A now they’re missing school and very bad grades.
On another note, I can feel the pain on your neck, tilted upwards the whole time you’re shooting this video. But thank you for this video, I just listened instead of watching.
This is the first video that really helped me while going through an unwanted divorce. Thank you so much for your words and sharing your experience. Number 7 is so eye opening ❤️
This is really good. I really connect with your 6th point. My ex was incredibly controlled by her emotions and it was one of the main reasons she asked me for a divorce. I’m only 4 months out from everything but learning that my emotions don’t dictate who I am or how I am supposed to act has amazingly beneficial for me. Learning what my emotions are trying to tell me and then finding the truth or fiction in it really helps me stay grounded. It’s not easy and I’m not always great at it but it’s a good thing to learn as someone who has gone through an unwanted divorce.
Thanks for the video. It got me over the hump that I was struggling with in the middle of my divorce. You said all the right things. Thank you very much.
This was amazing Lisa. You are brilliant a source of light and hope to so many. I've learned so much from you and thank you for helping me through my own journey. Your pain was not in vain. So happy that you're happy now. I wish you trhe best that life can offer and hopefully one day we can meet and i can say thank you in person. God bless you!
BillyN31 agreed. However acceptance is the first step then moving your mindset to yourself and what you need to become happy. Be assured it will get better. Painful but it will help you be more careful with choosing who you let in your life moving forward.
You look like J-Lo. Thank you. I’m going through something similar and looking for answers obviously or I wouldn’t have found your video. So it’s reaching people.
This is so helpful & relevant for me. Just the talk I needed to listen. I'll definitely come back to this talk throughout my healing, moving on, building up myself journey. Thank you!
Maybe I'm still in the early stages but I'll take him getting done half as bad by whoever and me winning the lotto 😏 that'll balance my scale just fine
I’m so glad that you did this video. I’m trying to end a marriage but he won’t leave now. Yet he filed first behind my back and pointed out all the horrible things about me he considered to be problematic for him. After watching your video I realized that I don’t want to give him too much I’d my energy and use it for myself. Peace and happiness to your beautiful for soul. I’m grateful for people like you who share your painful experience and help others like myself.
I’m with it! I feel there needs to be a support group or system. This is one of the most painful heartbreak and idk how to get through. No one to talk to who’s going through it as well....I feel alone each day, and just watch others be happy.
This video is amazing. Everything she says applied to my situation. It sounds like her divorce was a nightmare I can't even imagine. But the lessons are exactly what I needed to hear today about my situation. Lisa, thank you. You changed someone's mind today. I hope my learned lessons stick in this tough time!
This was very helpful… going through a divorce after 22 years of marriage. The pain is unlike anything I’ve experienced in my life. Thank you for your courage in sharing this helped me tremendously.
❤
The worst
Thank you for your post . I appreciate all the comments as I’m going through a separation and I am having hard time with it all. The videos and comments are helping me stay somewhat strong .
I am so sorry you're going through this. Somewhat strong is an accomplishment.
Lisa, thank you so much for this post. Extremely helpful in my broken marriage of 36 yrs. Learned of his infidelity with 4 women over 32 yrs. He refuses to get help, & refused to let me go.
I pray you find happiness.
I am dealing with the loss of the love of my life, and some days it feels like there's no point to anything.
I am so sorry you’re going this. Please know that the way you feel right now is not the way you’ll always feel.
If he did this to you he was not the love of your life. He was worthless. Your person is out there.
Everybody keeps telling me to focus on what I want. I just want the last 2 years to not exist.
I feel the same way... what I would give to go back in time.
Me too
Thank you for sharing, Im 9 months into my divorce of a ten year relationship, and this is the first video that gave me any kinda hope.
God Bless you for sharing
Same here. Married for just shy of 10 years! Hoping you are doing well. Hang in there. We will make it through this.
54 yrs married & dated since 7th grade and married after 1st year of college..He Retired after 40 yrs but then he wanted to be free??? I stated Theres' the door...its been 15 months, divorce after 6month. Property settlement in progress he's not happy as he wants home we built 34 yrs ago. Not staring over @ my age 72Yrs. I'm not moving 50 yrs of things. Period...
I’ve been seeking karma and justice too 🥺🥺🥺🥺
I’m so broken. I see him everywhere. I think of him everyday and I just want it to stop. He left me like a piece of rubbish after 10 years. I can’t wait to get to the other side. I’m in debt and so lost. Most days I can’t breathe. The thing I miss most about him is his embrace. I long for his touch again. But I have to move on. If not I’m gonna deal with this pain forever. Thank you for your video. ❤️. Love and peace to everyone going through this pain. It’s the worst feeling ever!
Im in the same boat 😢
Just started this process. Praying for us!
I have the suicidal pain.
@@jessicagordon8677 and how are you doing now?
wish there was a group for people who have suffered betrayal trauma...any groups out there? thx
The strength, honesty and integrity you show is truly inspiring, I have been in the eye of the storm for 5 months now and it is still just the worst, but to hear you explain your personal journey and to gain some comfort in your words which have given me a glimmer of hope for a better life on the other side of the abyss, I cannot thank you enough. And I have to agree your smile is a blessing 🙏🌻❤️
Man... I was with my husband for 4 years we got married this year in August and we have 2 children... he’s leaving me for another woman he say it’s too “draining” to continue to love me. He says he’s made up his mind he doesn’t want me anymore... this really hurt and it sucks. I really did love that man regardless of what we went through
3 years later still feeling it but not as bad but when you have children together 😢
Thank you so much for posting/sharing. You have no idea how much your video helped me. God bless you 🙏
If someone walks out on you LET THEM GO . If they were for you they would not have walked out this can be a blessing . I’m going through the same thing , 20 years of marriage , the pain is hard , it’s slowly passing. I stay focus on my life , do not look back . Heal , heal , heal and pray don’t jump into a relationship too quickly. Or you will feel worse .
Thank you so much for posting this. It was very helpful for me.
At the middle of all this you exude so much wisdom I can't stop listening. And that smile, oh my; terrific!🤭
Lisa thank you for sharing this! I have been reading fiction as well and it’s been so helpful!!! So glad you brought this up.
This video gave me such relief. I will watch it multiple times I'm sure. I needed to see this more than I can describe. Thank you, you wonderful person for making this.
You have no idea how your words help me. Thank you.
Happy to be #1000 to like. Thank you for sharing, this really helped me today.
My husband left me after 40 years of marriage and he places the blame on me when I know that he is the one that quit. We never argued but did grow apart. I am still grieving and praying to move on
My husband left me going 7 months now. He move out and said I can pursue the divorce. He cheated on me.
How are you feeling today
I am in your same place, after 35 years of marriage. Everyday, i feel like my life is someone else’s nightmare.
Like 51 yrs and date sine 7th Grade.. Wants to be free...I will never beg a man to stay...there's the door I said, but 6 month he lived in his man cave which is very nice...
I prayer for a future and hope for you in Jesus name
Jeremiah 29:11
New International Version
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
This video was so helpful...thank you for sharing.
Experience each n everything these days. Eventhough 8 months have gone by still not coming out of the pain
It'll pass Red Rose. 😊
12:00 This hits so hard. I always try to tell myself "Even on your worst day possible, youre living someone elses dream"
good perspective
This was honest and profound. Thank you.
I find your videos so comforting!
Thank you for your videos!
I found out my husband of 21 years has been in a 2 yr. affair. I was already self-titled "The worlds most neglected wife". I knew something was going on but I didn't listen to my instincts. I saw what I wanted to see. This video is candid and is helping me heal.
Same here but mine had at least 6 affairs although he only admits to 2. He ruined my time when my kids were young due to him walking out when my son was 4 months. I am now 48 and have no energy and can't breathe. What is wrong with me for staying with him? He has anger rages, calls me names and has bruised me, knocked me over and put his hands round my neck many times aswell
How r u
@@notsurewhat2put I'm so excited my broken relationship has been restored my ex lover is back through the heIp of mr ose who can also heIp you restore your relationship
@@notsurewhat2put
I'm so excited my broken relationship has been restored my ex lover is back through the heIp of mr ose who can also heIp you restore your relationship
@@notsurewhat2put Wh'atsap him for heIp🙏
Thanks Lisa. That he was a coward line hit me different! I didn't look at my divorce that way. She had the affair and I was left in the same situation as you were. She was a coward and I will do it the correct way for my daughter's! This video helped so thank you taking the time to make it. Take care.
very helpful.thank you
Thanks Lisa !
You are a very brave woman. Your story helped me a lot. Thank you❤
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I feel like you where inside of my brain speaking exactly what I was feeling and it was a really low point when I ran across your video and I can say you may have saved my life because when I listen to your story I called hotline to have someone to talk to to get me through another night. Thank you again so much. God bless you
Thanks for sharing. Going thru same. Hope 2020 is ur year
Thanks for sharing. Hope it will help.
Thanks 🙏🏽 for sharing!
You’re strong, intelligent, and absolutely beautiful! Thanks for sharing your story. God bless❤️
Thank you for showing me this, I'm in the process going through a divorce.
✛2348075547711👈≧﹏≦你好，亲爱的
👆 👆 👆
✛2348075547711≧﹏≦適港, 港决很✛2348075547711≧﹏≦你好，亲爱的✛2348075547711≧﹏≦適港, 港决很
.
I asked for reconciliation & therapy, she said " hell no ".
@@joekilroy2965 just Wh'atsApp the numbers now for heIp🙏
@@joekilroy2965 he can really heIp you restore and bless your relationship prefectly🥰
I put my trust in the Lord Jesus Christ.
You're blatantly hurt deep.
My spirit is sorrowful.
Hearing this, frustration/painful sound of strain in your voice periodically is saddening.
I feel empathy.
Sucks really bad going through cheating and narcissistic abuse.
Lisa i really appreciate your videos you are a beautiful woman giving all this amazing advices from your own experience thank you,
This is the most helpful thing I've seen
This was so excellent and so so helpful. Thank you for sharing.
Terrific video.
This was so touching and resonates so much with me. Thank you ever so much. You are an awesome person, opening up and sharing like this.
These realizations are brilliant and such a professional quality video - you are special - God has blessed you with a skill here - May God continue to bless you.
Yas girl! Really really really needed this; this clarity and insight. Thank you!
Thank You Very Much for this. The Wedding Vows are so Simple if kept and followed(Basic Promises) but The Cheaters never do in the end unfortunatly. 25 years together and helping support her and her nusing school training she cheats with a Handyman (9 months) in our home, office and forces me out of the house and gives me a minimal check for equity now she's on her second guy . You are right when you say I would never have done that to her and if I did she would have known that same day not 9 months later. We still share a Family pet and I have maintained a good relationship with her Mother and the former but it's only by God's grace and strength because this has been the most hurtful and unbelivable thing that I have ever gone through.
Hang I there Jesus well pave the path for youre future and we'll restore what enemy has stolen from you
Thank you for this.
I really enjoyed this video, thank you so much. A lot of your realizations speak to me, it's like you're speaking for me but I didn't realize these things yet. I was suffering from terminal uniqueness I think. Thank you :)
I watched this with tears running down my face.. thank you 🙏
My wife of 27 yrs left me for a co worker of hers, I was blindsided when she said we grew apart and she didn't want therapy. Her mind was made up, and I am a mess...some days are bad and some days are good. I still love her and I am still confused. At least we had 4 beautiful children who love me back , that is what makes my life worth living. Thank you for the video...it helps ease the pain.
My husband of 13 years told me on Mother Day that he didn’t love me anymore and wants a divorce. I can’t eat, sleep, breath, work, live...you name it. Are you ok now, do you feel better now? I’m so broken.
@@summerfields2792 Stay strong !
@@summerfields2792 Yes I am getting better I have been focusing on myself and my relationship with my children. I can sleep at night now. The hardest part is not knowing why! And how she can treat me like a stranger after all these years. I have kept myself busy at work and at home plus set some new goals for myself. Hang in there it gets better and you will find the motivation to love yourself because you can stand on your feet again.
@@summerfields2792 Stay strong... Live for yourself. life is worth it to love again and being loved
@@summerfields2792 don't give up on yourself. You are special. You deserve better and believe me you will attract someone who will see the beauty in you. Stay strong. Stay busy. Do the things you have wanted to do. "YOU ARE AN AMAZING , UNIQUE PERSON." Take care of yourself because no one else will. Your distant friend Robert.
Thank you for this. 😭😭😭So true.
This was the best peice of wisdom I got from anyone. I think realizing that my situation is not unique was the only thing that clicked in my mind so far. Thank you! Please keep sharing
This video is amazing and powerful! Thank you so much for your honesty and openess. Wow, I'm just nodding along through my tears while listening. My wife of 8 years just left me without any reason and it's been hell. Hearing you and listening to you verbalize so clearly the things I feel in my heart is so needed! Thank you for being brave and sharing.
I’m so sorry you’re now a member of this club. Not knowing why is such a challenge. Wishing the best as you make your way through.
@@lisaarends8742 thank you. I have to say I have an amazing psychologist that saved my life. She is helping me to focus on me and to get through each day one step at a time. Probably my biggest challenge is to learn how to stop lovibg someone who has stopped loving me a long time ago. She never shared or even said she was unhappy, she just ended it and refused to work on it or go to counseling. My friends have also been amazing. Many days I get really angry that she did this but my therapist reminds me that anger is just a secondary emotion to pain. So Im trying to separate the pain from the memory of her. I want to preserve a marraige that I experienced as beautiful while letting go of the pain so I can move on. I deserve happiness and I deserve someone that loves me the way I need to be loved not the way they want to love me. At least this is the plan...
You must be a truly strong person to be able to endure such hardship, and still be able to not only process the struggles that come with divorce, but also be able to break everything down to lay a roadmap as it were for those of us that still have that hill to climb. Mostly though, your calm and poise has given me hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel; for that, thank you. This is what I needed to hear today.
I really want to thank you for your kind, measured tone in relating these realizations. After two years of burying my emotions and not facing my pain, it all came at me like a dam bursting. So I feel like I am just beginning the process, even though the divorced was finalized long ago. Thank you for your openness, honesty, and caring.
Your videos are really helping me. My divorce isn’t final, I just signed today and sent him the copies through email instead of going to see him, and he emailed me back thanks and he was going to work for the night, and I actually dissected why did he tell me that, is he really going to work? Why does he still feel like he needs to tell me what he’s doing, does he still care? I mean, how sad is that? I think I’ve been driven slightly crazy from this marriage and I also think he might enjoy playing with my head, but I might be paranoid, idk anymore. I just want to not feel anything for him anymore except indifference.
Just give yourself a little time........you will feel nothing more than indifference for him!!
Mine is signing tomorrow. I love him but his anger issues didn’t help.
I signed mine 5 days ago, just waiting for date of hearing. The pain that divorce brings is intense, at beginning of separation I felt like the pain would kill me.
What in the world would her husband cheat on this girl!!? She’s beautiful & smart just to name a few. I’d love to go out with you girl
She was at the house last night to grab some stuff then she left. After 19 years it will likely be the last time I ever see her. It’s f’n hard to believe. I left my job yesterday, I signed over the house to her today, and I’m moving 1800 miles away tomorrow morning. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it needs to be done. For 4 months I feel like I’ve been shrinking and being continually pushed into a funnel.......but starting tomorrow I will start to come out the other side. I’m exhausted both physically, mentally and emotionally. I’m ready to push forward....it’s the only way.
Stand up straight, push your shoulders back and tell yourself you will not be defined by a divorce. There is life after this setback. Go out there and live it!
I really want to say thank you. I got married very young and divorced very young. I really don't know how I should face future life with the identity of a divorced woman. Besides, my ex-husband hurt me deeply, and I don't know if I can trust anyone anymore. Thank you for saying that what happens one day or during a specific period doesn't affect my whole life. Thank you for saying I at least have a life.
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship ... ...
ViawhatsApp ... ...
The first step is to realize the truth that a divorced woman is NOT your identity. Divorce is just something that happened to you. You are more than that part/phase of your life.
Same 😔😔
Great insight
Thank you, Lisa, for this gift. I'm still reeling from my divorce 8 months later... emotionally, I've been all over the map. It helps to know that there's a way forward and out of all this.
Thank you
Just starting mine right now and it is also unwanted
Same, sending prayers for us
Me too. I am in so much pain.
My mind knows all this yet three years in i am still in so much pain.
Sending you love and healing energy. I just wanted to reach out and tell you that you won't always feel as bad as you do right now. I wish for more positive days to be just around the corner for you Carolyne. Have a great day!! 🌼🌿
Carlyne are you feeling better?
Me too. ❤ So similar!
Going through this after 21 years together. Found out a week after my wife blindsided me and left she was having an affair for the past 5 years... the pain is unlike anything I've ever felt before. Im only 4 months out and trying to keep myself together best i can. I have no want or need to date at this time and I'm just trying to find my new normal. Scared that I won't be able to trust myself or anyone again, how can I even trust myself now after not seeing this was going on for 5 years? Hope you are doing better now.
Thank you for your story
DR ORDIA was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems too ❤❤
Text him on what's app ❤❤
+2348077751695❤
Not avoiding feeling the pain and hurt is paramount in healing. It took years for me not to give in to my emotions and what they were first telling me. Thanks for the video!
Thank you for sharing your pain. I found out my wife was abusing my son in November of 19, and left the same day with him. Understanding may never come in this life. Thank you for being brave enough to love again. It gives me hope. God bless!
You're a great dad! Lucky kid.
Abusing him how? That word has been used to justify leaving a marriage, so I’m curious how was she abusing the child?
My husband of 38 yrs , came home said he had met someone on a app. And left! We have 3 children, one is getting married in a month and her biggest worry is her parents.... so not fair! Youngest in his senior yr of h/s . I read, and listen to all these self help vlogs.... all this no contact , what to do to make him come back..... but u actually made sense to me.... this is the hardest thing next to the death of my parents. The hardest is pretending everything is fine... if my children see me fall apart, I fear it will only make it harder on them.
DR ORDIA was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems too ❤❤❤
Text him on what's app ❤❤
+2348077751695.....
I cant put my pain to words
Sending us both prayers!
How are you feeling?
@@anthonyjohnson5647 thanks for asking, it gets better , i feel less burdened.
Thanks for sharing. As we enter 2021 I need to keep moving forward. After horrific betrayal during UK lockdown after 17 years of marriage. I have 2 small kids. I'm determined not to let this form my identity
How are you now?
@@notsurewhat2put I'm afraid I didn't get to a place of reconciliation. I am now married to a wonderful woman who helps me look after my boys, whom I have 50/50 custody
You should do a video on how to support your friends through a divorce, or things not to say to someone going through a divorce. Like when people that I haven't seen in awhile find out about my husband cheating and taking off, and they tell me they know exactly what I'm going through because they hate it when their husband leaves dishes in the sink instead of loading them into the dishwasher.
Or even better, telling me I'm lucky because their husband won't help with laundry.
That's a great idea.
Wow. Who says such stupid things like that?? Sorry.
Fairness does not exist. Dont expect it. There is real and what most call fair. Expecting fairness of rules brings heartache and outrage. Then pity party. You set yourself up by your fantasy that you set.
Imagine your wife accusing you of trying to kill your kids burying your kids alive abusing her all that was a pure lies. Now she’s making $3519 a month on me temporarily until the real divorce, then the judge told her I can only see my kids once a month but after the trial she give me my kids three times a week to sleep over my house and my 2 kids grades was A now they’re missing school and very bad grades.
On another note, I can feel the pain on your neck, tilted upwards the whole time you’re shooting this video. But thank you for this video, I just listened instead of watching.
This is were I am now 18Years gone
This is the first video that really helped me while going through an unwanted divorce. Thank you so much for your words and sharing your experience. Number 7 is so eye opening ❤️
keep God in your Life . God can help you thru everything but only in God's timing not ours. REMEMBER "this to shall pass".
I am thankful for your video. I am really have a hard time with the loss of my marriage. I wonder if I will ever heal again.
This is really good. I really connect with your 6th point. My ex was incredibly controlled by her emotions and it was one of the main reasons she asked me for a divorce. I’m only 4 months out from everything but learning that my emotions don’t dictate who I am or how I am supposed to act has amazingly beneficial for me. Learning what my emotions are trying to tell me and then finding the truth or fiction in it really helps me stay grounded. It’s not easy and I’m not always great at it but it’s a good thing to learn as someone who has gone through an unwanted divorce.
Divorce is all new to me and I'm slowly losing myself but these videos I've been watching are helping
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship ... ...
ViawhatsApp ... ...
Thanks for the video. It got me over the hump that I was struggling with in the middle of my divorce. You said all the right things. Thank you very much.
This was amazing Lisa. You are brilliant a source of light and hope to so many. I've learned so much from you and thank you for helping me through my own journey. Your pain was not in vain. So happy that you're happy now. I wish you trhe best that life can offer and hopefully one day we can meet and i can say thank you in person. God bless you!
I love what you said about understanding and closure. And then letting go. Good job! And I am proud of you and what you shared. Thank you.
12/5/19. My wife divorced me today. Sucks.
So sorry for ur loss
BillyN31 be gentle with yourself and walk into the pain. It will gradually ease and u will get stronger
T W1978 thank you. Nothing hurts like a broken heart
BillyN31 agreed. However acceptance is the first step then moving your mindset to yourself and what you need to become happy. Be assured it will get better. Painful but it will help you be more careful with choosing who you let in your life moving forward.
BillyN31 Sorry
You look like J-Lo. Thank you. I’m going through something similar and looking for answers obviously or I wouldn’t have found your video. So it’s reaching people.
she is beautiful
This is so helpful & relevant for me. Just the talk I needed to listen. I'll definitely come back to this talk throughout my healing, moving on, building up myself journey. Thank you!
Wishing you the best as you move through this.
Thank you! This was amazing to hear all of it. You seem to be an incredible woman- thank you for sharing your story. It helped me a lot.
I just wanna hug you
Maybe I'm still in the early stages but I'll take him getting done half as bad by whoever and me winning the lotto 😏 that'll balance my scale just fine
Wow you are totally speaking about everything I am going through. This is very helpful in my journey to healing. Thank you
Me too how are you doing now?
I needed this, thanks so much.
Thank you for being so open about your journey. Your honesty is humbling and in its own way, healing to hear.
James Holden DR ORDIA was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems too ❤❤
Text him on what's app ❤❤
+2348077751695❤
Right now I'm dealing with the never going to understand thing. Sometimes I'm on board with it but sometimes I still bang my head against the wall!!
we will never understand, don't let that hinder you moving forward. I was married for 51 yrs and 8 yrs of dating...
Thank you for this. It is hard to understand unless you have experienced it.
Thank you. I'm in the pit of a really bad separation. This helped right now.
I’m so glad that you did this video. I’m trying to end a marriage but he won’t leave now. Yet he filed first behind my back and pointed out all the horrible things about me he considered to be problematic for him. After watching your video I realized that I don’t want to give him too much I’d my energy and use it for myself. Peace and happiness to your beautiful for soul. I’m grateful for people like you who share your painful experience and help others like myself.
Why dont we all meet together and hug and talk over wine?
I’m with it! I feel there needs to be a support group or system. This is one of the most painful heartbreak and idk how to get through. No one to talk to who’s going through it as well....I feel alone each day, and just watch others be happy.
This video is amazing. Everything she says applied to my situation. It sounds like her divorce was a nightmare I can't even imagine. But the lessons are exactly what I needed to hear today about my situation. Lisa, thank you. You changed someone's mind today. I hope my learned lessons stick in this tough time!