THOSE WACKY FACE-EATING XENOS | Warhammer 40k Lore
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- čas přidán 28. 02. 2023
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Xenospecies too numerous to mention are bent on our destruction. Only by naming and studying these predators does humanity stand any chance of survival. And by circumstance, or perhaps by divine will, it has fallen to me, Captain Janus Draik, Rogue Trader and first son of House Draik, to codify the myriad threats aligned against us.
In the westernmost reaches of the galaxy I have braved the nightmarish pits of the Blackstone Fortress and the lawless dens of its orbital platform, Precipice. Through exploration of these treacherous environs, I have unearthed truths hidden from even the most learned Terran scholars. Here, in the galaxy's first truly comprehensive work of xenology, I have determined the terrifying face of our foe. - Zábava
Tyranids: "We need more biomass."
Hivemind: "Next target is Catachan."
Tyranids: "We've had enough biomass."
And that's a great thing because imagine if the nids got some catachan biomass. That would probably be worse than the whole ork vs tyranid fiasco kryptmann caused.
@@bonogiamboni4830 Kryptman did nothing wrong...
@@ChrisKCook Did he do something wrong? No. Is the result just about the worst catastrophe ever? Pretty much.
Deleting the entire continent of america to kill cthulu would probably save the planet, but whoever gave the order should probably still be executed for the audacity.
@@bonogiamboni4830 I mean it's theorized that at least a few if not MORE of the Catachan fauna is of early-tyranid spore-visits. I think the Catachan Devil is thought to be one such being. The Kraken of Fenris is another, but that's a whole other planet.
@@bonogiamboni4830there was a small splinter fleet that landed in catachan......they were devoured by the indigenous flora and fauna within days
Me whenever I see a Catachan barking toad: *Jamaican accent* “I would like to pet this creature.”
Don’t do that
@Michael Kostas it would be but a single boop on its noggin
@@thefanciesttortoise557 do not boop that merry suicide bomber
@@thefanciesttortoise557 do not boop that merry_suicide_bomber
@@thefanciesttortoise557 "Do not boop the merry sucide bomber"
Tonite on Ridiculous Gear: DK suffers the side effects of watching too much anime fanservice and attempts to boop the snoot of the Lesser Catachan Barking Toad. Bricky tries to stop this by using his forehead as a blast wall so that DK can hide behind it before it explodes however Shy summons a massive Great Barking Toad swarm from the nearby swamp to finally sacrifice DK and Bricky to the chaos gods so she get one step closer to becoming the new Warmaster
1+ Khorne approves of this message
“Do not boop that merry suicide bomber”
-Corvus Corax to his brother Bulkan on Catachan.
@@khylerbane4523 Bulkan Lives ( Stomp Stomp )
This didn't happen in the episode tho
Boop the snoot!
Man of Iron: "B E E P B O O P, A M N O T F R E E T H I N K I N G, A M I M P E R I A L R O B O T, P R A I S E M A C H I N E G O D."
Inquisitor: "This seems entirely fine, and i have 0 problems with this."
Guardsman: _"Hey so i modified my las-gun t--"_
Inquisitor: *>no questions asked blasts the heretic
Good old UR-025. Aka what happens when you combine HK-47 and Claptrap.
45:04 Krootachan is actually a thing. Once upon a time Kroot ate a bunch of Catachan's and they started wearing red bandanas and back talking their T'au officers
LMAO
We need this!!
As much of a meme this is I’m so happy it’s canon
@@TheMythMac is it?
It is. It happens in the short story “Commander Shadow”
I love how not even daemons can survive Catachan for too long.
*Cadians crying over their exploded home planet*
*Catachans eating roasted daemon/tyranid meat*
"Damn that sucks, want a leg?"
"Why aren't you wearing any armor? Where are you from?" - Some new Guards recruit.
_"Catachan."_ - No clarification needed.
"Oh, cool, i'm from a feudal world myself. I haven't actually ever heard of Catachan, do you guys just fish on the beach there or something? That why you don't have armor? :)"
*_"I had to have Daemon for breakfast because the 'Nids became skittish."_*
"... o_o uh... ..."
_"Aren't you curious about the armor?"_
"W-- Why? N--"
_"Our commissar was curious about our armor. :)"_
It's the big E's demon world
As Shy tends to do
Nothing can. Not even Catachan Jungle Fighters.
Tonight in NOVA, we will witness how a single Xenos species of frog incapacitate a Primarch of the Salamanders. Only on PBS, welcome to NOVA.
Totally read that with a PBS announcer in my head. thanks
AWW MY FRIEEEEND A FROOOOGGGG
NO NO NO VULCAN DONT
BOOP! *boops the snoot*
Something that Bricky missed about the kroot is that their dietary evolution is actually the reason most kroot are mercenaries. They actively join combat groups, in order to find high quality flesh to shape themselves with. Kroot Shapers, the leaders of these mercenary warbands, even intentionally pick campains depending on who they are fighting. If the shaper wants strength, they go for orks or imperium. If they want psykic power, they go for aeldari. This dietary evolution component is literally the core of their society
Want some extra horror? The Catachan Face Eater has left its home planet and can be found on other planets! it was even Imported to Necromunda as pest control
problem is they're fans of wet and dark places and thrive in many places in the hive city. Combine this with the fact they easily can be mistaken for a Towel, and you see where this goes
I assume lots of species native to Catachan were either foolishly exported, or accidentally got transplanted by hitching a ride on Catachan ships/supplies/bodies. They've become invasive species that just wreak havoc on the biosphere of any world they come into contact with. The only saving grace is that they will eventually become weaker, as they don't have the same survival pressure as found on Catachan. A poor consolation for all the folks who have to deal with it for millennia.
Don't forget to bring a towel.
Well Cain saw where that did go
@@Bluecho4 indeed! There's here and there been a few mentions of animals coming from other planets. Can't recall if it's from Catachan but there's this creature that's basically a brain eating slime, but it's used as a drgu because long as you take it out in time it does no permanant damage and gets you high
Catchatans would probably use the Face Eater as a loofa.
Let me boop the snoot.
-Primarch Vulkan to Corvus Corax on Catachan
“Do not boop that marry suicide bomber.”
-Primarch Corvus Corax to Vulkan’s request on Catachan.
Catachan: The result of some writer asking, "What if Australia had a jungle?"
We do have rainforests on the east coast, which can get pretty jungly. They come equipped with the Gympie-Gympie, a bush that takes the concept of a nettle and turns it up to 40,000. Some of the worst pain imaginable just for lightly brushing a leaf, that reoccurs for up to a year afterward whenever the affected area touches water. Hope you didn’t take a chainsaw to the undergrowth to clear it, bc the needles carrying the toxin will be airborne and get in your throat and lungs. Colloquially known as the Suicide Bush, thanks to anecdotes of stung horses throwing themselves off cliffs.
6:29
If I’m not mistaken, that might be UR-025. He is, in fact, a Man of Iron, and therefore predates the Horus Heresy. He even has a mini on the tabletop.
he is probably one of the funniest characters in 40k to me. Hes this insanely advanced ai but constantly goes "beep boop" to pretend hes an admech. And when a bunch of actual tech adepts figured out he wasnt what he claimed to be he just murdered them and left.
So idk if this lore is still canon, but I'm sad that Bricky didn't mention the worst thing about the Catachan face eater.
They resemble bath towels...
They also like to hang around places of water waiting for animals to get thirsty.
No one knows when or how, but they have managed to smuggle themselves onto spaceships (hiding in bathrooms probably) and spread throughout the galaxy.
Which means when you reach for a towel, there's a small chance that your face will get eaten.
W40K is hilariously nightmarish.
That is both terrifying and hilarious
Sounds like a problem easily rectified by having custom bath towels. Remember to always wipe your face with Bobby G.
So, what to take from this episode: the kroot are underappreciated, Catachan is literally life trying to murder your in all the ways possible, and we need a Catachan Mommy vs Bloodthirster Mommy poster
THIS. So this.
The kroot used to be a viable thing you could run as there own thing, so yea
@@calebbarnhouse496 Technically you CAN run a Kroot-only Tau army now, since they made the one character model an HQ choice. It's not _great,_ but you can do it. At least last time I checked.
One Page Rules gives more mechanical support to their version of Kroot than GW gives the actual Kroot. It's honestly embarrassing.
@@Bluecho4 I said viable, as in you had the choices to really make a valid army
*Opens desktop note pad*
[To Do List]
+ Draw Catachan Women
That frog is basically a walking nuke and I love it.
Tonite on ridiculous gear: Bricky once again shatters his arm after losing a drunken arm wrestling contest to Cournal Iron Hand Stracken, DK smokes a cool leaf he found and tries to wrangle a catachan devil (unsuccesfully), and Shy succombs to her injuries after being ambushed out on patrol by the lil guys of the forrest
THERE'S ANOTHER ONE! Yes yes!
"they probably eat pine cones"
Catachanian: "Is that an off world fancy pancy delicacy?"
I wanted them to tell the story about how a bunch of kroots ate a bunch of catachan and they start wearing red bandana and telling their supervisor to piss off
I'm slightly interested and terrified of what will come out when a Hive Fleet devours Chatacan
Hive Marbo
Buff bugs
Catachan will come out
@@Natedawg1998 it's a non zero chance that your statement is correct. That's scary and fascinating
I'm betting on Catachan's wildlife devouring the Hive Fleet first.
The thing about Kroot ships and the Tau is that Tau can't warp. Kroot, on the other hand, are pretty adept at it, despite an utter lack of navigators, or psykers in general.
That's what the kroot want you to think
"I would like to boop the Snoot" - Bestest Boy Vulkan.
It was Qui-Gon who insisted that since he saved Jar Jar, Jar Jar owed his life to Qui-Gon and as such the Gungans couldn't detain Jar Jar.
A more apt Star Wars example would be Chewbacca's life debt to Han Solo.
A person by the name of Idiotic Synergy made a comment somewhere below about Shy sacrificing DK and Bricky to the Chaos Gods to bring herself one step closer to attaining the position of Warmaster.
You silly billy. Shy is in control of editing these videos: she’s already the Warmaster.
I love the kroot i feel they need their own episode they are the literal embodiment of the phrase you are what you eat.
Kroot eating catachans and then acting like them is hilarious
@@Eskeletor_210 kroots eating catachans: funny and quirky
kroots eating eldar: actually straight up horror
DK, episodes ago: Man those white and green Eldar look TERRIBLE
DK, this episode: Man that white and green Eldar looks SO COOL!
If anyone didn't know, you can use most of these kroot units in dawn of war, in the tau faction. They have a separate building specifically for kroot, shapers krootox, hounds and the t-rex looking ones. They're quite fun to try and use as a whole army but quite weak without support from the main tau units/vehicles.
That's exactly what I was thinking about during the section on the other kroots. "Hey, that was in dawn of war!".
The toad is harmless
Boop it
I love imagining these guys as actual AdMech tech priests and this is just how they all act when the normal imperials aren't watching
Catachan, a Death World or a Khornite Vacation Spot.
Not even khornates can survive Catachan. There was a daemonic invasion after the great rift appeared, and they were defeated by the wildlife.
@@axelmaldonado2642 That makes Catachans more manly that the Khornates.
The Man of Iron's name is UR-025 and he has a couple of short stories about him, would highly recommend them he's a great character
Bro when DK mentioned eating pinecones I almost died because my older brother honest to gods ate a pinecone like an apple once. Just picked it up off the ground on a whim and decided to go CRUNCH MUNCH MUNCH and eat it.
Is your brother alright?
@@tompeck5495 Smart as a brick but fit as a fiddle!
Does your brother listen to the name "Sid"?
And was it the last pinecone of that season?
@@12SickOne34 Close, he goes by Sky and unfortunately no it was the middle of autumn.
You've yet to answer the real question
What did it taste like?
Idk if anyone said this in the chat but, you can totally field a 40K list that is just Kroot.
They have an HQ Unit with the Kroot Shaper
Troops with Kroot Carnivores
Elites with Kroot Farstalkers and Krootox Riders
Fast Attacks with Knarloc Riders and Kroot Hounds
and Heavy Support with the Great Knarloc.
I'm not saying it would be good, but its possible.
There's also some people who kitbash their Tau and Kroot models to run an entirely Kroot army visually.
The Kroot do have a kill-team squad (two, technically), which I think works for them given their whole pack hunter MO rather than a full army. I feel that rather than just a Kroot army it would be neat to have a full tau allied species army, representing both mercenaries hired and species conq- I mean integrated into The Greater Good. It would also mean getting models and info on the species that exist only as single sentences. (I'm looking at you, giant megafauna species that the tau uses for warfare but we just haven't ever seen)
Is the last one you are talking about the Voght? I still cant belief they told us tau have an allied race able to kill Knights (at least, maybe even titans) and then just didnt elaborate. Like what the fuck
There actually was for 3rd or 4th edition, through chapter approved, an actual army list.
@@SSecularScholar Third, but there were hq shenanigans...
There was a Kroot army in an issue of white dwarf, if I remember correctly, but there was not much variety in units so it never got any love from gw.
And in some codex I read years ago there is a theory that Catachan is the host to a Tyranid splinter that landed millennia ago.
My Evolution of Buff List: Normal Human>Catachan Human>Ogryn>Space Marine Types>Cutodians.
You might need to do some juggling there. Ogryns are most certainly stronger than Space marines. They just aren't smarter.
44:05 The first natural predator of Catachan warriors are their Mother’s abs
Crushes the womb
When did they change the lore on krootox? Last time I checked they were a strain of kroot that feasted on herbivores and in return became herbivorous leading to a steady decline in intellectual faculties.
Oh damn, we need to get Snipe & Wib on here to give Bricky a rundown on all the weird hyper-specific GW board games.
As far as minor xenos, I love the khrave. You know you're onto something when you're nasty enough to make the Raven Guard break out the terminator armor.
There is actually a book series out about this guy and his acquisition of most of the retinue I believe it's quite literally called Blackstone fortress. Pretty good series
I would love a specific blackstone fortress video
About the heros and villans and why they're there and whatnot
Wait no stop talking about blackstone fortress save it for a specific episode
@@mr.potato2223 Yeah they will need to read the books first (2 blackstone fortress novels and the Vaults of Obsidian anthology). They haven't read them as they say Janus has a warrant of trade ;) Really recommend Ascension, one of my favourite recent black library books. I thought ABORDER PRINCE was working on a video on the main novels which he recently got in to. It might take a while as he probably found out there is more lore in the boardgame and the expansions for it. The alcoholic Jokaero is the best.
My favorite model in all of 40k, Pious Vorne, is out of Blackstone Fortress. Heartbreakingly, she's "on screen" for about eight pages.
I shouldn't be surprised at this point that they managed to steer the conversation to Torchstar's abs.
So, lately I've playing Gladius (a Civ-like 4X strategy game in the 40k universe) and goddamn Catachan Devils are the bane of my existence in the early to mid game.
You say 'death world with hostile xeno wildlife', the salamanders say 'petting zoo'
the slamanders also have the best counter to cattachan, fire
That is one Pepe you don't want to add to your collection.
Oh man... I am still very salty I missed out on Liber Xenologis. Actually preordered it via my FLGS but they never received any copies since it was such a limited printing.
You should totally do an entire episode on kroot! There's actually plenty of lore for them if you dig a little. DK was actually completely correct in regard to the Krootox. They used to be kroot who ate too much of big, strong herd animals. Unfortunately the animals in question were also very dumb, so now they are too stupid to change back. Knarlocs are definitely not winged, they are more like an aggresive chocobo. And of course you have the Greater Knarloc, which is basically a kroot T-rex.
Omg thank you for the correction 👍
Just gonna throw in a random guess here, if they do a dedicated Kroot episode the title is gonna be some variation of "eat your enemies to gain their power"
I thought I remembered that the krootox was the result of eating too many Orkoids, but I'm open to being wrong. I do wonder if that was "old lore" or if my brain is just playing tricks on me.
@@ulfgard4734 I think thats just your brain playing tricks. BUT, the kroot did learn how to build spaceships and other tech by eating Ork Mekboys,maybe that's what you're thinking of?
@@Lord_Wateren Could well be. I've never been especially well-versed in Tau lore, tbh, so I'm prepared to just take the L.
Means I learned a thing, though, and that's always pretty cool.
There are people in the 3D printing crowd that made kroot stand ins for most Tau units so you can feasibly make a Kroot themed Tau army. Only it will be cannibal chickens crouching inside a drone and piloting it manually or driving a devilfish like it was a horse and pulling the turbines in different directions with reins instead of a steering stick.
I'm too tired to check, but I distinctly remember that one of the kroot relics is some sort of remnant of a creature they hunted to extiction because it would make them stronger.
noooooooo, master of mankind broke me. either the emperor is just saying whatever will be convincing at the time or he (or I) does not understand the interaction between the warp and psykers. If I am not mistaken, he said that he wanted to make all humans into extremely powerful psykers and also cut them off from the warp to kill chaos. I just cannot think of any workable solution to doing that. I am sorry If I phrased that concern poorly, it has been a while; will reread master of mankind
Isn't the Venus man-trap able to LITERALLY STAND UP AND WALK or am I thinking of some other plant?
It’s Catachan, dude. I wouldn’t put it past the trees suddenly standing up and walking about.
So the Ents of Lotr from hell?
No wonder that Catacan death rate is so high. Their RITUALS probably kill half of em alone
The spiker is similar to a real tree. It is the sandbox tree, (Hura crepitans), large tree in the spurge family (Euphorbiaceae) native through most of tropical America.
In Catachan, everything can hear you scream…
Tau auxiliaries need to be an army. Similar to how GSC and Tyranids are two separate armies/factions
So a face eater is just a sentient plastic bag.... Equally terrifying.
17:55 “…”
“Captain, permission to execute the extra short one?”
DK: “I would love an actual kroot army… granted they never will.” SURPRISE from LVO 2024 haha
12:05 Its telling that he would think of Jar Jar before the Wookie life debt.
Damn, the frog that got punched by Baron Zeppeli still lives on.
Okay, the inevitable question after this episode...what happens if a Kroot eats a lot of Catachans?
My guess? He turns into an Ork.
covered in a t'au novel with shadowsun fighting catachan with kroot help, they start taking on the insubordinate nature of the catachans.
Pro tip: don’t eat eggs while watching the face hugger part of this episode.
“Heh”
“Now where have I seen this before?”
*My nightmares*
‘JANUS: Learnings of Xenos for make benefit glorious imperium of mankind’
While reading the latest Siege of Terra book, it's actually pretty different in how we see the Emperor from his portrayal in Master of Mankind. Definitely worth picking up if you wanna see a more rounded perspective (indeed, a lot of the Siege books that have the Emperor in them show a slightly different side to him)
PS: Blackstone Fortress is actually super fun if you have a group of friends to play with. It feels like a sort of RPG with progression that you could pick up again after a mission. So much fun. I am hoping they do another, similar game.
In 3rd edition there was a Kroot army list featuring various kinds of kroot including stalker kroot and kroot vultures
I don't understand why Bricky hates Anime when Warhammer 40K is just Anime Edgelord Edition. 40K is literally like when a mad 3rd grader sees his friend's Nerf gun and say "I'll make a better Nerf gun with missiles on it and pipe organs and it'll go WHOOSH!" 🤣🤣🤣
Because he hates that even the worst anime often has better writing
Kroot rifles look primitive but are actually very advanced pulse weapons that use T'au technology.
Catachan: the planet-embodiment of living, and dying, in a Fraternity.
Honestly the little guy jokes stopped being funny ages ago, but Shy's reaction makes it worth it.
DK: "You can't talk down drones"
Me a Fallout New Vegas fanboy: "Ice Cream"
My favorite thing about the catachan face eater is that it was named after its discoverer captain Henry face eater
I’m not kidding look it up on the regimental standard
Ballin' for the Emperor.
But at what cost....?
You know, I think Catachen might be the only planet save from the Tyranids just because the planet itself will fight back against them^^
Bricky's about to lab with body pillows. Approved.
As a T'au enthusiast, we need a high quality Torchstar body pillow...
All for the Greater good of course
I'm pretty sure that Catachan's survival rate would go up if they stopped doing stupid shit. I don't even want to know what their children's games are like...
43:34 Personally, I think they speak with Cajun accents, fits the jungle/swamp world better in my brain.
Back in the day, You could actually run Kroot on their own or as mercs. It was released in an old chapter approved or white dwarf, I can't remember. They even had their own named HQ guy named Anghkor Prok who had an exclusive miniature that was given out at Gamesday. He's a really cool mini, I have one, I really like the kroot.
I saw the thumbnail and thought "Oh yeah, more Catachan"
I wish to pet this creature
Imagine if some absolute catachan madlad managed to tame a catachan devil and decided to ride it into battle
With every “little guy” joke I understand Shy more and more
I will say that the master of mankind book was written by a guy who absolutely loves chaos. And he writes chaos really well. And he does not like the emperor so I don’t know how much truth I put into Master of Mankind. To each their own, and how much they like the book. And I won’t really talk about it in a spoiler way. It’s just that the writer does not like big E at all.
"Its like sonic" gets Demolished by the simple question how XD I love these two
You should have mentioned that the catachan devil might be a tyranid
I have a kroot army. I absolutely love them. I'm a fan of the krootox but it certainly needs an update
34:54
Catachan guardsman senior: son, i have lived my whole life on Catachan.
Other catachanian: so what? I have lived my whole life here as well.
Senior: [spits space tobacco] im 68 years old, son.
Kinda gives those who don't really know a guard regiment, a good reason to think hard on their biases. I like the Krieg, I've become fond of the Cadians, the Iceborn and the Tanith will always be beloved... But any man who can cut off his own face, in preference to death; without batting a(now nonexistant) eyelash? What a reason to consider.
The Imperium of Man's Tourism Board needs to contract out with Bricky to highlight some of the almost tolerable lives, and so many of the rest as wel. Dramatic en-enactivments, wait, life is cheap, let's do it live!
Yes. Please. Throw the toad that explodes with the distance of a small nuclear weapon
I still love that Catachan just existing can defeat a demon outbreak.
Demons beyond the pale of human comprehension is no match for super jungle Australia.
Once again an absolute banger of an episode
Fun fact. In 1st Edition Necromunda Faceeaters were represented by Bluetac..
Master of Mankind is not an accurate representation of anyone that doesn't engage in drug and blood fuelled orgies.
ADB is a Choas simp, he writes good Traitors and Heretics, but he shouldn't be allowed to touch Loyalists...
True that, the author has an admitted hard on for chaos
@@JayBagent I vaguely recall that he made a tweet stating something to the effect that no one should take his loyalist stories seriously, so at least he's self-aware even if BL isn't.
That Rogue Trader has a couple books about him too. They aren't my favorite but cool insight to Blackstone Fortresses
Bricky acting as if he already doesn't sell body pillows in his store
The kroot that died trying to eat a chunk of Macari, great example of this.
22:52 Bricky wants to talk about the Catachan😂
Boop the snoot!
Boop the snoot!
Boop the snoot!