I followed the "ignore women and disappear" advice and sure im more muscular or have more money but now I dont know how to go up and talk to them. I dont have any social skills outside of work and family and the occasional conversation at the gym. Improve yourself and be social, you can do both guys lol
Yup, both are necessary for people to remain sane. Like Elisha is saying, you also need a group of guys to speak to. Otherwise, you aren’t getting any advice or council from anyone but yourself. Others holding you accountable, offering advice, and helping you out are crucial aspects of being a man.
@@SuicideApple-wm6et Work, education. For example if I'm in college, I'd do talk related to homeworks education or background etc. in starting and if it's good then you can continue talking , and divert it on other topics. Like you do it with your dudes.
Based and spot on. "Ignore women" is a cope to not push yourself out of your comfort zone and just ignore insecurities that come with being social. Being a hermit til 30 will yield you nothing except for regret.
@@acidpilled8733 Good that you've realized it. You're definitely still young so there's time. Took me til 24 to read the writing on the wall. You're gonna make it brah
Shoot I'm gonna be 28 this year and don't regret being a hermit. I have my peace and just enjoy my own company. It's really not that bad, it just depends on the individual because from my experience it has yielded a positive result.
The internet is just a tool, they were already f"cked up to begin with. If you don't like it you could go back to stone age cause every advancement has been criticized in every era.
3-5 years is a mini lifetime. I swear I’m into my third “life” in my 20s alone. You’ll have a whole new outlook every few years. Don’t be in a rush my friends and don’t be so committed to an ideal you become rigid. Thanks for the vid Elisha.
I'd say if you're on track in life, every 5 year period looks very different than the previous one. This has been true for me so far and i wish it would continue for the future ahead.
@@jacksoncoots2060 I'm typically very isolated and when I go out and experience good social interaction, no matter how degenerate it is- it's like I have a super power for the next two days and my brain stops overthinking shit. Wears off after a couple of days
Had a dark time in my life and it made me realize relationships and my health are the most important things. Not just women but also friends cause they’ll help you in those dark times
About to turn 30 here. Elisha is right. We are not meant to be alone. Ignoring women will only make you depressed. Any awkward interaction is better than no interaction, regardless of your age. Our "social" muscle needs to be worked out too.
Don’t ignore women, but don’t chase them and waste your resources for a chance at some tail. They’re just human beings, ignoring them in a way is like putting them on a pedestal.
This was something I did from around 21, and I get the point you're trying to make, but the reality for a percentage of men is that they get nothing out of socialising & trying to "make the effort" with people. Didn't really matter what I said, what I did, who I talked to or what my behaviour was like, I more or less made no new friends, have almost no decent memories from those times, didn't pull any girls or get any numbers and have a huge collection of negative shit that I experienced during that time. 6 years on and making a top 5% salary is infinitely better - it's not even close. I might be a lonely weirdo now but before I was still a lonely weirdo, just without any money. I mean let's be honest, guys that are even in the position to "hide away from life" for 5 years have most likely already failed in the social realm - gotta know when to quit and play to your strengths.
Sometimes it can be the age too I think. In my early 20s I had some insecurities that I didn't know how to deal with yet and didn't look as manly. Do you feel the same? Ever thought about trying again?
I'm 22 and I can understand you're sentiments and I agree with the simple reality that unless you are a certain caliber of Man and have certain things going for you already in the end it doesn't really matter. Like you said you can do all of these things yet still get nowhere, so then what's really the point of doing that? I know people will always say "But at least you got experience out of it" that sounds like the biggest cope in itself when that "experience" wasn't worth a damn. I'm not trying to be a pessimist but I just live in reality and not hopeful idealism as much as possible as you end up setting expectations on delusional proportions and then end up getting so angry when things don't pan out that way because you set yourself up from the beginning anyways. I'm not gonna go out and make "effort" talking with chicks because I don't believe it will lead anywhere and with the current state of the world I've become increasingly simply not interested as a whole, I could care less about relationships with a Woman.
Nah, focusing on your weaknesses makes you a more well rounded man. You will always have these insecurities if you don’t do anything about it. Something that helped me with my social anxiety was a book called The Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters. It goes into why you feel the way you do in social situations and how to change. Was struggling for years but saw overnight improvements after reading that
I wanna see my future self getting in the same place as you. Making money can make life so much easier. I do understand that as human beings we should socialize especially with women. My life went downhill as soon as I tried to engage with females and find the one for me. I was a really happy kid with full of energy and now it's just trauma and pain. Even in family gatherings my grandparents notice that I have changed. They once said to me you were such a vibrant personality and now you don't even smile what happened to you? Being alone I have done a lot of self improvement but yes that void would never be filled. And no I am not an introvert I have a lot of friends but now I just like to keep my distance with females. I do try my luck with them but nothing works out. I know people that get a ton of girls good for them I guess. I don't understand how is this a weakness for me? None of my experiences have been good with females so why am I supposed to look at it like I should work on my weaknesses?
You’re right. My emotions did flare up. Because you’re completely fucking right and I’ve spent almost two years manipulating myself into ignoring my intuition to speak with the girls I can tell are interested in me. Girls I can tell want to give me a shot, Girls that want to have an excuse to talk to me. I even reinforced this mindset with sigma accounts on Instagram, man do I feel like a schmuck. MAN IS IT GONNA BE TOUGH TO GET OUT OF THIS TUNNEL. There’s this girl I work with who used to smile at me all the time and now shuns me because I acted like an anti social prick. I must bucket this water out of my boat immediately...
@@jacksoncoots2060 Probably combination of both. It is easy to say that I am choosing to ignore women only to focus on my grind but under that surface there is always some level of unsolved anxiety problems big or small.
@@jacksoncoots2060I ignore them because they are too full of themselves, and most time they just want validation, walk up, get her number, she don’t answer, rinse and repeat…no thanks.
Please listen to this advice guys. I’m about to be 25 and struggle with being social all the time. I have to brute force myself to talk more, and I could have easily mastered this skill by now. I don’t believe it’s too late, but the earlier you start the better! Don’t fall for that isolation trap guys.
I'm 29 and single. Don't worry about it and get yourself in circunstances to get to know people such as the gym, some library and study with a group, look for social clubs or whatever
I’ve been using that mindset as an excuse for years now. It’s caused me to miss out on so many opportunities to date and live a normal teenage experience. Always speaking the truth when I need it. Thanks bro
I followed that same advice after a death close to me. All it did was make me think I was right about everything and I had no fault in my decisions. I ditched that about a year and a half ago. I now have a loving girlfriend, leader at my job, and have made more real friends than I ever did in my own childhood.
The importance is balance. I personally would choose being alone over socializing, but I understand its importance enough to keep up with people I care about, and want to care about.
This is why I love this channel man. You point out all the BS. I can’t stand a lot of these self motivational CZcamsrs that spew the most dumbest advice. These are the guys who are red pill this red pill that to the point they’re overdosing on it. It’s like they get an ego boost for “knowing everything”. This channel is great because what you say is practical and real.
I feel like you're taking it way too literally. I don't understand why this community gives so much importance to partying and going out. It's so easy to do. What's hard is to hunker down and put in work when it's needed. To tell your friends "no" when they ask you to go out. To say no to a potential hookup because you want to get up early the next day to hit the gym. Where is this 180 coming from?
@@brandonc_096 I just feel like this channel is starting to always take the opposite approach of conventional self-improvement in an attempt to stand out. Not sure why.
I was like this without even knowing it. Just recently I made the effort to stop ignoring girls and actually socialize and set up dates. I’m 20 and I know I owe it to myself to level this up too. Don’t stay in solitude men. Especially not for too long.
38yrs, once married and once divorced here. one child who is 13yrs old now. found out 5yrs ago that he is not my biological son. had a few girlfriends here and there since i got divorced in 2012. but i could never love a women again since i found out about my ex wife producing a child with one of my best friends and making me believe it`s my son, when he is not. don´t get me wrong, i love this kid, he is the only person i would give my life for, even thou he is not my biological child. it´s not his fault that his mum is a 304. but i will never ever get together with a women ever again. i mean like being in a relationship and cohabitation an stuff. never again! for all of you young guys out there who are trying to get happy by loving a woman and being loved by her, good luck with that. i am not black pilled or red pilled or white pilled. nothing like that. i am just realistic and trying to keep my wealth growing and supporting people that really care for me, like my brother my mum and a few good friends. for me, love, i mean romantic love, died a long time ago. for some of us, it is better to be alone. so no Elisha, not all of us will die from being alone.
I was too afraid to speak to girls until I was 23 and had no self worth and confidence so I neglected speaking to them until I was 23. I’m now 25 and haven’t got the social skills to speak to them and feel alien when talking to them. Guys, trust me start young and learn and build!
i agree totally, it seems like balance is lost. its as if they think going from one extreme to the next is going to save their life. its an attractive way to sell something... it isn't how it works for everyone.
Man Elisha youve been killing it for years now consistently. When others have strayed off to dogmatic opinions. This is the kind of stuff men need to hear admist all the black and white advice
Since I was a kid I always approached girls. The thing is being nervous before talking to them has never gone away even till this day. The nervousness been less intense with time tho. I always feel good after talking to them. Whether it's small talk or me asking for their number and getting rejected. It's better that then regretting not talking to them at all. Plus I have had more success talking to a girl in person then social media. In social media they have all types of guys in their dms and your just another one of them. In person you will see that these girls ain't really all that like it seems in their socials. If you approach them in person and you have good vibes they will pick up on that faster then on fb instagram or whatever
Hey Elisha, first of all I love every single one of your videos. I'm 15 years old and am constantly working on myself mentally and physically. You give me wisdom and awareness and I'm currently trying to find my purpose. I was jus a bit confused when you said you should chase women in this video but in some older videos you said they are a distraction. Also wanted to say you are like a father figure to me since my father isn't always around all the time and I'm trying to become masculine and a proper man
Hey brother. When I was 15 I got my first job, I also started to lift weights. The thing I didn't do was try to be social. I allowed my "anxiety" to paralyze me. I didn't scoop the nuts and try to overcome my fears. There would be girls trying to talk to me at High School and I would freeze up. Don't be like me. Work and workout but also make friends. Play sports and have fun. Stay curious about life and don't be afraid to fail. The path will be made clear for you. High Thumos
@@ElishaLong I appreciate the reply man means a lot! Idk what to do I'm a truck driver with no social life at all I only get 2-3 days off every 3 weeks or so and back to working every single day.
@Michener Space I appreciate the advice, I wasted so much time in community college and switched my major so many times, I felt I was running out of time and wanted to make money fast so I chose trucking. I actually enjoy trucking and getting to travel since I'm from a small town, however I am always alone I don't have anybody. I could change career but like I said I'm from a small town there isn't anyone my age here and I could go to bigger cities but I would be a loner just walking up to people seems so desperate idk
@@rapture_soon Im in the UK so dont know whats it like over in the US. But im sure you stop at bars, service stations etc, just strike up a random conversation with someone. Ask how their days going, where they’re going as they’re at that service station. Just gotta make the effort brother All the best
Being active with women in fact increase your experience with women socially. Even if I can't get a girlfriend anyways. I can still become more experienced and that is what I want. Having a girlfriend has to do with being in the right time in whatever place. A girl might appear and gets to know you through some circunstance and that increases your chances. This has nothing to do with playing games, being Sigma male nor anything like that. This is either the girl likes you or not. You want a girlfriend? you want the secret? Place yourselves in circunstances where meeting a woman becomes more probable.
a lot of self-improvement videos make it seem like you’re improving yourself so all you need is yourself instead of improving yourself to live a better life
Im so glad you’re saying this and exposing these red pill guys. Those guys are weird and awkward af but always coping with this sigma alpha persona. Keep speaking the truth Elisha
It is all balance. Life is not just about the grind. It is about having a life. That includes going out, having friends and being with women. When I had followed this advice in my life, I have always felt miserable, even if I had advanced in my goals. In the back of my mind, I always needed that female connection.
Facts Edit: I tell myself I’m gonna “take a break from women” all the time lol. There is no break, maybe that’s not what I’m most concerned about, but when I’m outside and see a woman I find attractive, I often just end up talking to them. It’s a natural inclination that shouldn’t be ignored, rather it should be embraced. You’re correct, it’s against our nature to ignore women and actually sounds crazy.
I understand the need to be social and not a complete hermit, however I feel like this community is giving partying/cold approach way more importance than it deserves. It's really not that hard to go out, get hammered, and sleep with a girl every weekend. You could literally swipe on Tinder for a bit and find someone to hookup with tonight. Us men need to put these feelings to the side. To tell that girl you can't see her tonight because you're working on a project. A "break" from women takes discipline and commitment. Sleeping around never gets you anywhere. I've done the f*ck boy life. I'd take being a virgin again with a successful business than being social frat boy.
Oh man I (28M) have soo much to say about this topic. As a former "doomer" loner (hell I had a youtube about it), it didn't feel like a choice for me but a necessity. I talked to women a lot online and tried meeting them in person but I was just blocked from meeting them due to my unique struggles which have much improved now. I wouldn't recommend the "sigma" lifestyle to most, but for some of us that's just how the cookie crumbles for awhile. I stayed vigilant though and started a career and met a woman who is so amazing for me. My emo loverboy traits finally paid off, she is so turned on by me it's unbelievable. I had my fun partying before, but honestly as a pretty nerdy ginger dude I didn't fully expect things to get this good. I was actually very focused on women before I met her though, I talked with a therapist about it the whole damn year. I also put myself out there meeting guys and gals at meetup groups, trying to be social and fun while scoping out the baddies 😉
@@ElishaLong Yeah man I remember talking to you! I was scrolling through my old discord DMs last night and saw you on there. That was cool bro, it's been fun to see your progression after that. Mad respect that you're leading some men out here. I actually popularized that meme on YT, no joke. I think the first one to put it here from 4Chan was Producer Kris (his channel is gone too), and then I made that rainy background with the Smiths song😂 Actually saw someone use that the other day still, was a Turkey Tom vid I think.
@@deagor4578 I joined a Slack server for tech in my town since I was coding and looking for a tech job. I introduced myself and said that I was working on a friend-finder app and she offered to work with me (doing art, the UI/UX). We worked together, were chatting, and after a short time she gave me her number and we started hanging out 🙂
Enjoyed your video. You're 💯 right. Conservatives are polar opposite of leftists. I'm a woman and we're also told the same exact thing stop chasing men and ignore them too or dont reply to their texts for the next 4 hours its crazy how we're all fed this non sense on both sides
Ive been approaching women. In fact i got a number recently from my gym crush. Problem is she has a bf. And every female that likes me loses interest when i genuinely reciprocate interest..
I've certainly had my "in a cave times". But that was like 6 months max I think. It was the right thing to do at the time. Always depends on your circumstances.
This has worked for me: 1. Get clear on your goals and mission. Work towards it 2. Build a rich social life This is the priority. Without nr 1, what do you have to offer in social interactions? What value do you bring to the table? What kingdom do you have to invite a women into? Get nr 1 figured out and nr 2 gets way easier High Thumos Stay Based
You have a lot of good wisdom dude. All these channels go to one end of the extremes. You give the right advice for the average guy, like you haven’t forgotten where you came from. Seems like once these guys ascend they forget they’re own lives realities prior
My problem is that at a glance so many women seem pretty, but you can't go up to everyone and ask for a number. It's hard to make a choice since you might have a better option if you just had waited.
Thanks for the advice Elisha, this one really hit deep because I’m 18 my self in I’ve been in a mental trap where I’ve told myself i need to be alone & hustle, ignore talking to girls because everytime I’ve have it’s never gone right it always feels like I’m interviewing them. I thought that since I’m 18 and never had a girl, I’ll probably never have one in my life, but I know now that if I keep trying to be social, not go looking for love but be open to it and work towards my higher purpose I’ll attract the right person in my life. Great video man 🙏🏼
B- but.. we go jim? She hurt me and I just wanna put a pump cover on and wallow in my self pity but mask it as a beast lone wolf, you just wouldn’t get it! It’s not coping!!!
I'm 17 years, I got hooked on the advice "be the sigma male work 24/7 while they sleep" grindset when I was 16 1 year later I don't regret that I worked hard I got more muscular and respect but I feel like I wasted potential where I couldve just balanced it and got the same results now but with a lot more social skills. I regret going monk mode but I respect the gains and for anyone reading never submit to any advice you hear on the internet just trust your inner instincts and dont ignore them like I did.
Embracing our fears is part of being a male, and women are scary creatures indeed. Lets get strong and conquer our life and encourage others, not just men but also women.
I didn’t hang with girls or really anyone during the pandemic for like 15 months. It definitely made me weirder lol but been getting back to normal now
Elisha, I've been watching you since 2018 and I have been watching a lot of 1stman (the clipped image in the thumbnail) for a few months now and I just think that you both have the same point here but for a different audience. Not to take the defense of him or attack you or vice versa, but I think it'd be helpful for anyone else coming across here that you both are saying the same thing for different people which I find as: Work hard for most of your time Don't kill yourself or overthink trying talk to or get with women just get some reps in Socialize in general and get some reps in but dont kill yourself partying and going out ruining your goals
I partially disagree. Being social is not about chasing women, but being/interacting with other people. I don't think people should disappear and grind. I think that they should not focus on or stress about getting a partner. This is how I understand this advice, so for me, it is not so dumb.
I'm 24,did this and I don't regret it at all. I spent 1 year and a half studying to get my dream job and during this period I was alone all the time locked inside my room chasing what I wanted, it was not easy but I had to do it otherwise I'd be a loser living in my mom's basement. Now that I did it I can really enjoy life like Elisha is saying. Every man have their own goals and sometimes you won't achieve it without a lot of sacrifice.
I actually am unintentionally living this kind of way,(stopped smoking weed and guess what happens then with all your stoner friend groups) and let me tell you the little interactions that I force myself to have with the women at the gym actually make me more motivated to go and i'm starting to get liked there and it makes the enviroment so much better. Other than that I dont really interact with anyone at all so if this little is of so much benefit then imagine making it a priority in ur life to socialize/open up more to women or just anyone in general, rather than being on this ryan gosling type shit.
A man once said the we are never so happy or so unhappy as we suppose. That what is important is to never grow tired of your life and aspirations. _Let a man walk alone, let him commit no sin, let him have few wishes, like an elephant in the forest._
I agree with you being social is pivitol to a good life. However, my question to you is this: why should me as a man spend my time pursuing a woman who herself is not the quality I want? I agree that the younger folks (teens to 20's) should learn to be social and go the extra mile to make small talk with strangers and learn how to interact with girls. However, just turned 31 yesterday. I've been around the block and I'm a pretty social person. I can say that I have yet to encounter a woman I feel is someone I want to spend my time and effort with. I have since stopped thinking about it and have felt great peace. I'm not necessarily flat out ignoring women but I don't prioritize it at all and I really don't mind it. Is it ideal? Of course not. I think most men would agree that they wish they could deal with women and have meaningful relationships like their parents and grandparents. But that simply isn't the reality today. We live in a pretty narcissistic world that is aimed pretty heavily on women. It's not like I blame them for it either, it is 99% social conditioning imo. I really don't care to just "get laid" and that's it. I would rather have meaningful relationships. That goes for men and women. It's rather scarce today. People like you making communities where you can have open dialogue and hold each other accountable is something we need more than ever today. Perhaps I'll join your discord myself. Thank you for reading, Elisha. Keep up the content.
Then don't waste time pursuing all women. You already said you a social guy. Just pursue the women that make look like they have the qualities you want. I think this video was more for the guys that are introverts
@@xchino0427 I understand but I think it's important to offer different perspectives in a conversation like this. Being social is pretty much ingrained in being human and will make ones life way more satisfying - but I don't think he answers the question as to why men are talking about ignoring women. Or in my case, simply not caring enough to pursue and not facing any real consequences. Perhaps it should be a separate conversation but I felt inclined to share nonetheless.
I don't think you should pursue a woman you decide is not someone you want to be with. How do you plan to meet this quality girl though if you don't put in any effort?
@@ElishaLongCertainly, I agree. But I think it is clear that the woman most men are after are simply too rare. I think being social and confident in oneself is important but why does it need to involve women? If the man in question meets the woman in question then wonderful, but I think a lot of men are going to be left dissatisfied as women being their end goal.
That might not be bad advice for high schoolers. Enjoy your friends while you have time. most likely you will end up spending your life with a family you build with a woman. Looking back I remember wanting girls (I actually did have a few girlfriends) so bad but now I realize I was blessed. I love the girl I’m with now but the times I had as a teen long boarding or just going to the grocery store with my friends are priceless.
It's the same as quitting music lol. If you're denying yourself of a certain human experience there's trauma there more than likely. That's why I keep asking in my head "what did music do to you Eli?" Haha. Experiencing while keeping your frame is what makes you a man of value.
@@ElishaLong Oh alright. Good to hear. Dude I keep remembering that one tittle of your vid, but I always forget it was for dramatic effect. And the main point was to not shut yourself out of the world. Really took that title to heart for no reason man.
This is hypothetical bullshit. Sorry man. But saying "experiencing while keeping frame" is a horrible way to put things. Why not just shoot up heroin as long as you "keep your frame". Rarely is anything that simple. There are times where you have to go into the trenches, quit cold turkey, jump into the deep end to come out successful. This whole notion of "being well rounded" hardly ever works out. Successful men are ruthless and unreasonably dedicated. I mean just think back to times in your life where you made the most progress. I'm willing to bet it was times where you strapped up and dove right in without caring. Laser focused on your craft.
I mean if you are already the 25 year old weirdo it feels pointless to keep trying. I destroyed my self worth by assigning so much value on socializing, so now I just accept my situation and improve my life in other ways.
This right here. Finally a real experience. The fact is that being a social butterfly has been the easiest things we've done. Lol I would go out now if I could. But I'd had to develop the discipline to ignore the sirens.
They act like they can’t invite a girl over and smash and have fun, then she leaves. Wtf is a couple hours gonna do to your “progress”? It’s all a cope
yeah but it's all about re-enforcement when every time you try you fail.... You either keep doing it and hurt your ego or accept the way it is. I have problem meeting new people and every time i've tried to approach, it never worked out the way i want it. Just be sincere with yourself, deep down you want a woman but you have to learn to live either way. For me even when i see some initial interest it doesnt work out. If you feel you have to take your time to heal your wounds, take it. You cant stay unaffected by how the world is treating you, some people is hard to develop confidence when all they see is rejection. Confidence= external re-enforcement of you personality X Biological sensitivity X developed Value system approach
Thank you very much for the advice! Makes much more sense to me! Could you make a video, on explaining what a business is? You say, open a business some times, I can't imagine something under the word Business. Like selling apples? Would greatly appreciate!!!
Hey Elisha, have you done a video discussing the whole have a “oneitaes “ the term the redpill and manosphere community use for guys who are to in love/ obsessed with just one woman. If you haven’t could you possibly make a video about it? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.
I think a lot of the younger guys this advice is geared towards would be out there doing it if it was like "flip a switch and make the right choice". It's all well and good to just pat people on the shoulder and tell them to get after it, but people have mental illnesses. I can tell you from experience that social anxiety is a bitch and it only gets harder if you move schools a lot during your formative years. It's not like I can flick a switch and just start going out, making new friends, getting laid and into relationships. I'm 28 at this point and social anxiety never goes away and always hangs over you. It's not just "I'm bad in social situations". It infects your mindset, how you talk to yourself and think of others. Gives you intrusive thoughts and opinions about connecting with people. In my head it's like constantly arguing with a crabby old man that wants to be left alone. Over time it gives way to depressive symptoms.
I need to improve on this a lot. I’m really awkward with women and I need to just talk to them more. Just with anyone in general im just a weird person
It's easy to make suggestions like these when you're coming from a place of abundance. Some environments do not allow for healthy socialization, especially in today's hyperpoliticized world (western, culture-less cities come to mind) You can be open to conversation & engagement with others and be completely ignored from the backwards norms like status gauging. There are indeed outliers but it's increasingly difficult to create lasting relationships when everyone you meet just wants you to follow them on social media then never respond when you attempt to set up events. Europe & S. America has a much healthier environment since there's still a sense of nationalism & comradery in most of its countries.
@@AB-ez2ct Elisha has a video about using zoomer lexicon in such a manner. I’d invite you to watch because it might help you add value to your response. This is a growth community, shaming rationality is not productive.
You can learn to interact with women and be social with them without being dragged into their drama. You can still focus on yourself and protect yourself by not putting women at the center of their life. How do I know this? Because I work in public library, which is a very female, dominated space and I get along with my female coworkers quite nicely. We can have conversations, and I make them laugh, tell jokes and nobody's ever called me into HR for inappropriate behavior. You can work to increase your charisma, but please don't wast it trying to impress women. It's like throwing money down the well,
Man some of you guys just need to unplug your ears from the headphones, my social skills have gone infinitely since I stopped wearing them out the house Ive spoken to so many more girls in the gym like its become effortless because its not the barrier of stopping to pause your music then take it out your ear buds to hear what they’re saying Honestly try it for 30 days see what a difference it makes
PTSD from someone else's bad experience? Bro stop this. You don't have 'PTSD', genuine trauma, fron the experience of *someone else.* It's very unlikely you will get falsely accused. Is the miniscule risk worth the isolation? Stop letting the narrative that all these women are evil vultures trying to take everything from you stop you from living your life. Tough love, bro. Stay strong.
@@savvathornnmysteriam9867 Life is not ruined when you get imprisoned, it only is ruined when you renounce your freedom affraid of getting it taken away from yourself.
i just walk away from woman who doesn't care about me. I tryed to come close to her, but she doesn't care. So in that moment i was need a break from speaking with her, and she thought that i ignore her. That right, but my goal is emotional free from her, person and i achive that. it's not take 5 years its take couple months. Now myself free from her person. But we still don't speak to much, just hello and bye bye. I think that i no need to spend time with woman who just friend for me or something like that. Meybe i'm not right. I think i must spend time with my family, and i really like that time. If i'm create my own family, i don't need a friends. In my country in Russia, people so different in comparison with European or American people. Last 4 years after invasion to Ukrain people in Russia starting be really agressive and angry. They don't hide it from other people. That's sad.
3:45 It might be "ageinst nature", but so are many othet things nowadays. Besides, we're not wild animals who let themselves be controled by our base instincts ( well, some of us are I guess ). One doesn't need a woman to be happy and fullfilled, especially when one's driven & motivated by things tgat are important to them and tgat make them happy. That being said he's right about cultivating other types of relationships like friends, family & colleagues and not to wrap oneself into a cocoon.
@@johnmcternan4157 I've had many friends and huge friend groups and social circles galore. In my growing up stages. As an adult its been entirely isolated and I enjoy it. I had my share of socialization. Now its time to work inward and do the shadow work from within. Peace only comes from inside. It doesn't come from an external factor. These external factors can help you attain the lessons required for peace but peace of mind only comes from within.
@@rootz420 I have chronic pain young and most of the time I'm putting on a brave face, so yes peace within 100%. I don't disagree on any major point you made.
I followed the "ignore women and disappear" advice and sure im more muscular or have more money but now I dont know how to go up and talk to them. I dont have any social skills outside of work and family and the occasional conversation at the gym. Improve yourself and be social, you can do both guys lol
@@jayrollo1352 cope
Yup, both are necessary for people to remain sane. Like Elisha is saying, you also need a group of guys to speak to. Otherwise, you aren’t getting any advice or council from anyone but yourself. Others holding you accountable, offering advice, and helping you out are crucial aspects of being a man.
Tool👍
What are you going to talk with them?
@@SuicideApple-wm6et Work, education. For example if I'm in college, I'd do talk related to homeworks education or background etc. in starting and if it's good then you can continue talking , and divert it on other topics. Like you do it with your dudes.
Based and spot on. "Ignore women" is a cope to not push yourself out of your comfort zone and just ignore insecurities that come with being social. Being a hermit til 30 will yield you nothing except for regret.
Man im only 20 and regret being a hermit for the past few years. Cant imagine being 30 and realizing you fucked up...
@@acidpilled8733 Good that you've realized it. You're definitely still young so there's time. Took me til 24 to read the writing on the wall. You're gonna make it brah
@@shmoo1000 Thanks king you too
Shoot I'm gonna be 28 this year and don't regret being a hermit. I have my peace and just enjoy my own company. It's really not that bad, it just depends on the individual because from my experience it has yielded a positive result.
Interesting
Even the guys who ignore women deep down know that they want to have a conncetion with them, or atleast have fun with a couple of girls
this
Bingo.
Its the copium. Very high dose at that ahhaha. You cant supress what’s ingrained in your 🧬
@@3jay22 eventually you'll find a good woman for you. Be patient but also try to interact with females so that you can find the right partner.
@@3jay22 this is the sexual market place equivalent to declaring bankrupcy
Internet really fuc*ed everybody up!
If not for the internet we wouldn’t need videos like this. We got programmed to fear discomfort
The internet is just a tool, they were already f"cked up to begin with. If you don't like it you could go back to stone age cause every advancement has been criticized in every era.
@@reedharrington6954 that and the government
3-5 years is a mini lifetime. I swear I’m into my third “life” in my 20s alone. You’ll have a whole new outlook every few years. Don’t be in a rush my friends and don’t be so committed to an ideal you become rigid. Thanks for the vid Elisha.
I'd say if you're on track in life, every 5 year period looks very different than the previous one. This has been true for me so far and i wish it would continue for the future ahead.
Going out and meeting like minded people was literally more powerful than all the good habits I've implemented into my life combined.
I think it's the echo chamber effect. I feel like you guys are glorifying "going out" too much. It's not that big of a deal to go out every night.
Facts
@@jacksoncoots2060 I'm typically very isolated and when I go out and experience good social interaction, no matter how degenerate it is- it's like I have a super power for the next two days and my brain stops overthinking shit. Wears off after a couple of days
saying going out is quite ambiguous. Where did you exactly go?
@@astralbeatz9950 very interesting phenomenon. I wonder if that relates to the intuition we cultivate when in connection with others.
Don't ignore them. Just don't make them your priority. Big difference.
Had a dark time in my life and it made me realize relationships and my health are the most important things. Not just women but also friends cause they’ll help you in those dark times
Amen
About to turn 30 here. Elisha is right. We are not meant to be alone. Ignoring women will only make you depressed. Any awkward interaction is better than no interaction, regardless of your age. Our "social" muscle needs to be worked out too.
But woman are weak shit
Don’t ignore women, but don’t chase them and waste your resources for a chance at some tail. They’re just human beings, ignoring them in a way is like putting them on a pedestal.
💯
This was something I did from around 21, and I get the point you're trying to make, but the reality for a percentage of men is that they get nothing out of socialising & trying to "make the effort" with people. Didn't really matter what I said, what I did, who I talked to or what my behaviour was like, I more or less made no new friends, have almost no decent memories from those times, didn't pull any girls or get any numbers and have a huge collection of negative shit that I experienced during that time. 6 years on and making a top 5% salary is infinitely better - it's not even close. I might be a lonely weirdo now but before I was still a lonely weirdo, just without any money.
I mean let's be honest, guys that are even in the position to "hide away from life" for 5 years have most likely already failed in the social realm - gotta know when to quit and play to your strengths.
Sometimes it can be the age too I think. In my early 20s I had some insecurities that I didn't know how to deal with yet and didn't look as manly. Do you feel the same? Ever thought about trying again?
I'm 22 and I can understand you're sentiments and I agree with the simple reality that unless you are a certain caliber of Man and have certain things going for you already in the end it doesn't really matter. Like you said you can do all of these things yet still get nowhere, so then what's really the point of doing that? I know people will always say "But at least you got experience out of it" that sounds like the biggest cope in itself when that "experience" wasn't worth a damn. I'm not trying to be a pessimist but I just live in reality and not hopeful idealism as much as possible as you end up setting expectations on delusional proportions and then end up getting so angry when things don't pan out that way because you set yourself up from the beginning anyways.
I'm not gonna go out and make "effort" talking with chicks because I don't believe it will lead anywhere and with the current state of the world I've become increasingly simply not interested as a whole, I could care less about relationships with a Woman.
Nah, focusing on your weaknesses makes you a more well rounded man. You will always have these insecurities if you don’t do anything about it. Something that helped me with my social anxiety was a book called The Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters. It goes into why you feel the way you do in social situations and how to change. Was struggling for years but saw overnight improvements after reading that
@@Cub__have you even tried? How can you say things will go badly before you even give it a shot?
I wanna see my future self getting in the same place as you. Making money can make life so much easier. I do understand that as human beings we should socialize especially with women. My life went downhill as soon as I tried to engage with females and find the one for me. I was a really happy kid with full of energy and now it's just trauma and pain. Even in family gatherings my grandparents notice that I have changed. They once said to me you were such a vibrant personality and now you don't even smile what happened to you? Being alone I have done a lot of self improvement but yes that void would never be filled. And no I am not an introvert I have a lot of friends but now I just like to keep my distance with females. I do try my luck with them but nothing works out. I know people that get a ton of girls good for them I guess. I don't understand how is this a weakness for me? None of my experiences have been good with females so why am I supposed to look at it like I should work on my weaknesses?
You’re right. My emotions did flare up. Because you’re completely fucking right and I’ve spent almost two years manipulating myself into ignoring my intuition to speak with the girls I can tell are interested in me. Girls I can tell want to give me a shot, Girls that want to have an excuse to talk to me. I even reinforced this mindset with sigma accounts on Instagram, man do I feel like a schmuck. MAN IS IT GONNA BE TOUGH TO GET OUT OF THIS TUNNEL. There’s this girl I work with who used to smile at me all the time and now shuns me because I acted like an anti social prick.
I must bucket this water out of my boat immediately...
Are you "ignoring" women because you have anxiety or is it because you've chosen to focus on your grind. Those are two very different things.
@@jacksoncoots2060 Probably combination of both.
It is easy to say that I am choosing to ignore women only to focus on my grind but under that surface there is always some level of unsolved anxiety problems big or small.
@@jacksoncoots2060I ignore them because they are too full of themselves, and most time they just want validation, walk up, get her number, she don’t answer, rinse and repeat…no thanks.
Please listen to this advice guys. I’m about to be 25 and struggle with being social all the time. I have to brute force myself to talk more, and I could have easily mastered this skill by now. I don’t believe it’s too late, but the earlier you start the better! Don’t fall for that isolation trap guys.
25 is nothing brother. Get out there.
I'm 29 and single. Don't worry about it and get yourself in circunstances to get to know people such as the gym, some library and study with a group, look for social clubs or whatever
True monk mode is to avoid women and to continue your own path.
Monk mode is old news. We are high Thumos now. Reclaim the spirit.
gay
Elisha is a Simp.
I’ve been using that mindset as an excuse for years now. It’s caused me to miss out on so many opportunities to date and live a normal teenage experience. Always speaking the truth when I need it. Thanks bro
Did this till I turned 24 but I decided to change my mind and now I am doing far better :)
Im just turned 24 and seeing your comment has made my day better
Been a hermit my whole life. Don't do it. Finally confident enough to talk to women, and it's much harder the older you get.
I followed that same advice after a death close to me. All it did was make me think I was right about everything and I had no fault in my decisions.
I ditched that about a year and a half ago. I now have a loving girlfriend, leader at my job, and have made more real friends than I ever did in my own childhood.
The importance is balance. I personally would choose being alone over socializing, but I understand its importance enough to keep up with people I care about, and want to care about.
No need. They ignore me.
It's hard to find 100% accurate advice out there. I stand behind what he just spoke about.
This is why I love this channel man. You point out all the BS. I can’t stand a lot of these self motivational CZcamsrs that spew the most dumbest advice. These are the guys who are red pill this red pill that to the point they’re overdosing on it. It’s like they get an ego boost for “knowing everything”.
This channel is great because what you say is practical and real.
I feel like you're taking it way too literally. I don't understand why this community gives so much importance to partying and going out. It's so easy to do. What's hard is to hunker down and put in work when it's needed. To tell your friends "no" when they ask you to go out. To say no to a potential hookup because you want to get up early the next day to hit the gym. Where is this 180 coming from?
@@jacksoncoots2060 I don’t disagree with the points you’re making but I’m sort of confused on what this has to do with what I said in my comment.
@@brandonc_096 I just feel like this channel is starting to always take the opposite approach of conventional self-improvement in an attempt to stand out. Not sure why.
@@jacksoncoots2060 could you elaborate or give examples of what you mean by doing things to stand out?
I was like this without even knowing it. Just recently I made the effort to stop ignoring girls and actually socialize and set up dates. I’m 20 and I know I owe it to myself to level this up too. Don’t stay in solitude men. Especially not for too long.
38yrs, once married and once divorced here. one child who is 13yrs old now. found out 5yrs ago that he is not my biological son. had a few girlfriends here and there since i got divorced in 2012. but i could never love a women again since i found out about my ex wife producing a child with one of my best friends and making me believe it`s my son, when he is not. don´t get me wrong, i love this kid, he is the only person i would give my life for, even thou he is not my biological child. it´s not his fault that his mum is a 304. but i will never ever get together with a women ever again. i mean like being in a relationship and cohabitation an stuff. never again! for all of you young guys out there who are trying to get happy by loving a woman and being loved by her, good luck with that. i am not black pilled or red pilled or white pilled. nothing like that. i am just realistic and trying to keep my wealth growing and supporting people that really care for me, like my brother my mum and a few good friends. for me, love, i mean romantic love, died a long time ago. for some of us, it is better to be alone. so no Elisha, not all of us will die from being alone.
Yh facts, gotta be super careful out here.
Spot on. Scoop the nuts. Been way too much in my head lately. Thanks Elisha
Very wholesome and important video Elisha. Talking to women and bringing them into our lives in a healthy way is so important.
I was too afraid to speak to girls until I was 23 and had no self worth and confidence so I neglected speaking to them until I was 23. I’m now 25 and haven’t got the social skills to speak to them and feel alien when talking to them. Guys, trust me start young and learn and build!
i agree totally, it seems like balance is lost. its as if they think going from one extreme to the next is going to save their life. its an attractive way to sell something... it isn't how it works for everyone.
Man Elisha youve been killing it for years now consistently. When others have strayed off to dogmatic opinions. This is the kind of stuff men need to hear admist all the black and white advice
Looool “they got into crypto” 😂😂😂 sad but true. Great video the message is spot on
Chasing means running after something that running from you. We don’t chase women.
Since I was a kid I always approached girls. The thing is being nervous before talking to them has never gone away even till this day. The nervousness been less intense with time tho. I always feel good after talking to them. Whether it's small talk or me asking for their number and getting rejected. It's better that then regretting not talking to them at all. Plus I have had more success talking to a girl in person then social media. In social media they have all types of guys in their dms and your just another one of them. In person you will see that these girls ain't really all that like it seems in their socials. If you approach them in person and you have good vibes they will pick up on that faster then on fb instagram or whatever
Hey Elisha, first of all I love every single one of your videos. I'm 15 years old and am constantly working on myself mentally and physically. You give me wisdom and awareness and I'm currently trying to find my purpose. I was jus a bit confused when you said you should chase women in this video but in some older videos you said they are a distraction. Also wanted to say you are like a father figure to me since my father isn't always around all the time and I'm trying to become masculine and a proper man
Hey brother. When I was 15 I got my first job, I also started to lift weights. The thing I didn't do was try to be social. I allowed my "anxiety" to paralyze me. I didn't scoop the nuts and try to overcome my fears. There would be girls trying to talk to me at High School and I would freeze up.
Don't be like me. Work and workout but also make friends. Play sports and have fun. Stay curious about life and don't be afraid to fail.
The path will be made clear for you.
High Thumos
@@ElishaLong Thank you man. High Thumos
@OK DUDE! understood. Thx
Brother, your videos always resonate with me. Would love to meet you one day. God bless you and your family ☝🏽
The act of intentionally "ignoring women" means that you are STILL centering your life around women...
Once again speaking the facts Elisha!❤️
I wish I had watched this when I was 18. I'm almost 27 and feel like it's so over for me
Brother come on. You can make the change now. Here for you if you want to talk.
@@ElishaLong I appreciate the reply man means a lot! Idk what to do I'm a truck driver with no social life at all I only get 2-3 days off every 3 weeks or so and back to working every single day.
@@ElishaLong choose a different career path
@Michener Space I appreciate the advice, I wasted so much time in community college and switched my major so many times, I felt I was running out of time and wanted to make money fast so I chose trucking. I actually enjoy trucking and getting to travel since I'm from a small town, however I am always alone I don't have anybody. I could change career but like I said I'm from a small town there isn't anyone my age here and I could go to bigger cities but I would be a loner just walking up to people seems so desperate idk
@@rapture_soon Im in the UK so dont know whats it like over in the US. But im sure you stop at bars, service stations etc, just strike up a random conversation with someone. Ask how their days going, where they’re going as they’re at that service station. Just gotta make the effort brother
All the best
Being active with women in fact increase your experience with women socially. Even if I can't get a girlfriend anyways. I can still become more experienced and that is what I want.
Having a girlfriend has to do with being in the right time in whatever place. A girl might appear and gets to know you through some circunstance and that increases your chances. This has nothing to do with playing games, being Sigma male nor anything like that. This is either the girl likes you or not.
You want a girlfriend? you want the secret? Place yourselves in circunstances where meeting a woman becomes more probable.
a lot of self-improvement videos make it seem like you’re improving yourself so all you need is yourself instead of improving yourself to live a better life
Im so glad you’re saying this and exposing these red pill guys. Those guys are weird and awkward af but always coping with this sigma alpha persona. Keep speaking the truth Elisha
Bro I'm so glad I found your advice now and not 5 years from now
It is all balance. Life is not just about the grind. It is about having a life. That includes going out, having friends and being with women. When I had followed this advice in my life, I have always felt miserable, even if I had advanced in my goals. In the back of my mind, I always needed that female connection.
Facts
Edit: I tell myself I’m gonna “take a break from women” all the time lol. There is no break, maybe that’s not what I’m most concerned about, but when I’m outside and see a woman I find attractive, I often just end up talking to them. It’s a natural inclination that shouldn’t be ignored, rather it should be embraced. You’re correct, it’s against our nature to ignore women and actually sounds crazy.
I understand the need to be social and not a complete hermit, however I feel like this community is giving partying/cold approach way more importance than it deserves. It's really not that hard to go out, get hammered, and sleep with a girl every weekend. You could literally swipe on Tinder for a bit and find someone to hookup with tonight. Us men need to put these feelings to the side. To tell that girl you can't see her tonight because you're working on a project. A "break" from women takes discipline and commitment. Sleeping around never gets you anywhere. I've done the f*ck boy life. I'd take being a virgin again with a successful business than being social frat boy.
@@jacksoncoots2060no you wouldn’t bro. You would still rather be a sex haver tgan a virg.
Oh man I (28M) have soo much to say about this topic. As a former "doomer" loner (hell I had a youtube about it), it didn't feel like a choice for me but a necessity. I talked to women a lot online and tried meeting them in person but I was just blocked from meeting them due to my unique struggles which have much improved now.
I wouldn't recommend the "sigma" lifestyle to most, but for some of us that's just how the cookie crumbles for awhile. I stayed vigilant though and started a career and met a woman who is so amazing for me.
My emo loverboy traits finally paid off, she is so turned on by me it's unbelievable. I had my fun partying before, but honestly as a pretty nerdy ginger dude I didn't fully expect things to get this good. I was actually very focused on women before I met her though, I talked with a therapist about it the whole damn year. I also put myself out there meeting guys and gals at meetup groups, trying to be social and fun while scoping out the baddies 😉
Bro I think I remember your channel. This was back when the doomer meme was popping off.
@@ElishaLong Yeah man I remember talking to you! I was scrolling through my old discord DMs last night and saw you on there. That was cool bro, it's been fun to see your progression after that. Mad respect that you're leading some men out here.
I actually popularized that meme on YT, no joke. I think the first one to put it here from 4Chan was Producer Kris (his channel is gone too), and then I made that rainy background with the Smiths song😂 Actually saw someone use that the other day still, was a Turkey Tom vid I think.
Where did you meet your gf?
@@deagor4578 I joined a Slack server for tech in my town since I was coding and looking for a tech job. I introduced myself and said that I was working on a friend-finder app and she offered to work with me (doing art, the UI/UX). We worked together, were chatting, and after a short time she gave me her number and we started hanging out 🙂
Enjoyed your video. You're 💯 right. Conservatives are polar opposite of leftists. I'm a woman and we're also told the same exact thing stop chasing men and ignore them too or dont reply to their texts for the next 4 hours its crazy how we're all fed this non sense on both sides
You’re the best Elisha! Blessings to you brother
Ive been approaching women. In fact i got a number recently from my gym crush. Problem is she has a bf. And every female that likes me loses interest when i genuinely reciprocate interest..
I've certainly had my "in a cave times". But that was like 6 months max I think. It was the right thing to do at the time. Always depends on your circumstances.
This has worked for me: 1. Get clear on your goals and mission. Work towards it 2. Build a rich social life
This is the priority. Without nr 1, what do you have to offer in social interactions? What value do you bring to the table? What kingdom do you have to invite a women into? Get nr 1 figured out and nr 2 gets way easier
High Thumos Stay Based
If you try being a lone wolf, you'll burn out in like a week. It's unnatural for human beings to be constantly alone (it's a torture).
important shit elisha. feel like hearing „ignore women“ is an easy way to procrastinate facing your fears for 5 years
You have a lot of good wisdom dude. All these channels go to one end of the extremes. You give the right advice for the average guy, like you haven’t forgotten where you came from. Seems like once these guys ascend they forget they’re own lives realities prior
Great video! Self-improvement content has become such a circlejerk, but you're a real one Elisha cheers
My problem is that at a glance so many women seem pretty, but you can't go up to everyone and ask for a number. It's hard to make a choice since you might have a better option if you just had waited.
they dont talk to women cuz they cant lol
Thanks for the advice Elisha, this one really hit deep because I’m 18 my self in I’ve been in a mental trap where I’ve told myself i need to be alone & hustle, ignore talking to girls because everytime I’ve have it’s never gone right it always feels like I’m interviewing them. I thought that since I’m 18 and never had a girl, I’ll probably never have one in my life, but I know now that if I keep trying to be social, not go looking for love but be open to it and work towards my higher purpose I’ll attract the right person in my life.
Great video man 🙏🏼
B- but.. we go jim? She hurt me and I just wanna put a pump cover on and wallow in my self pity but mask it as a beast lone wolf, you just wouldn’t get it! It’s not coping!!!
I'm 17 years, I got hooked on the advice "be the sigma male work 24/7 while they sleep" grindset when I was 16 1 year later I don't regret that I worked hard I got more muscular and respect but I feel like I wasted potential where I couldve just balanced it and got the same results now but with a lot more social skills. I regret going monk mode but I respect the gains and for anyone reading never submit to any advice you hear on the internet just trust your inner instincts and dont ignore them like I did.
Embracing our fears is part of being a male, and women are scary creatures indeed. Lets get strong and conquer our life and encourage others, not just men but also women.
I didn’t hang with girls or really anyone during the pandemic for like 15 months. It definitely made me weirder lol but been getting back to normal now
Elisha, I've been watching you since 2018 and I have been watching a lot of 1stman (the clipped image in the thumbnail) for a few months now and I just think that you both have the same point here but for a different audience.
Not to take the defense of him or attack you or vice versa, but I think it'd be helpful for anyone else coming across here that you both are saying the same thing for different people which I find as:
Work hard for most of your time
Don't kill yourself or overthink trying talk to or get with women just get some reps in
Socialize in general and get some reps in but dont kill yourself partying and going out ruining your goals
I partially disagree. Being social is not about chasing women, but being/interacting with other people. I don't think people should disappear and grind. I think that they should not focus on or stress about getting a partner.
This is how I understand this advice, so for me, it is not so dumb.
I'm 24,did this and I don't regret it at all. I spent 1 year and a half studying to get my dream job and during this period I was alone all the time locked inside my room chasing what I wanted, it was not easy but I had to do it otherwise I'd be a loser living in my mom's basement. Now that I did it I can really enjoy life like Elisha is saying. Every man have their own goals and sometimes you won't achieve it without a lot of sacrifice.
No matter how much "intelligent" a "sigma" thinks of himself, he will feel envy of the "stupid dude" who gets the chick.
I actually am unintentionally living this kind of way,(stopped smoking weed and guess what happens then with all your stoner friend groups) and let me tell you the little interactions that I force myself to have with the women at the gym actually make me more motivated to go and i'm starting to get liked there and it makes the enviroment so much better. Other than that I dont really interact with anyone at all so if this little is of so much benefit then imagine making it a priority in ur life to socialize/open up more to women or just anyone in general, rather than being on this ryan gosling type shit.
A man once said the we are never so happy or so unhappy as we suppose.
That what is important is to never grow tired of your life and aspirations.
_Let a man walk alone, let him commit no sin, let him have few wishes, like an elephant in the forest._
It’s fun to flirt around, but like anything it’s an addiction.
Don’t let it preoccupy most of your time just so you can get laid.
As a sigma male, I completely agree!!
i think this is one of the best videos you've made recently
Good thoughts brother. Thanks for sharing
I agree with you being social is pivitol to a good life. However, my question to you is this: why should me as a man spend my time pursuing a woman who herself is not the quality I want?
I agree that the younger folks (teens to 20's) should learn to be social and go the extra mile to make small talk with strangers and learn how to interact with girls. However, just turned 31 yesterday. I've been around the block and I'm a pretty social person. I can say that I have yet to encounter a woman I feel is someone I want to spend my time and effort with. I have since stopped thinking about it and have felt great peace. I'm not necessarily flat out ignoring women but I don't prioritize it at all and I really don't mind it. Is it ideal? Of course not. I think most men would agree that they wish they could deal with women and have meaningful relationships like their parents and grandparents. But that simply isn't the reality today. We live in a pretty narcissistic world that is aimed pretty heavily on women. It's not like I blame them for it either, it is 99% social conditioning imo.
I really don't care to just "get laid" and that's it. I would rather have meaningful relationships. That goes for men and women. It's rather scarce today. People like you making communities where you can have open dialogue and hold each other accountable is something we need more than ever today. Perhaps I'll join your discord myself.
Thank you for reading, Elisha. Keep up the content.
Then don't waste time pursuing all women. You already said you a social guy. Just pursue the women that make look like they have the qualities you want. I think this video was more for the guys that are introverts
@@xchino0427 I understand but I think it's important to offer different perspectives in a conversation like this. Being social is pretty much ingrained in being human and will make ones life way more satisfying - but I don't think he answers the question as to why men are talking about ignoring women. Or in my case, simply not caring enough to pursue and not facing any real consequences.
Perhaps it should be a separate conversation but I felt inclined to share nonetheless.
I don't think you should pursue a woman you decide is not someone you want to be with.
How do you plan to meet this quality girl though if you don't put in any effort?
@@Bazonkaz I'd like to talk about this more brother. I know it's not easy.
@@ElishaLongCertainly, I agree. But I think it is clear that the woman most men are after are simply too rare. I think being social and confident in oneself is important but why does it need to involve women? If the man in question meets the woman in question then wonderful, but I think a lot of men are going to be left dissatisfied as women being their end goal.
Everyone heard this before: If you’re not making money, you shouldn’t even be thinking about girls! Perhaps…
That might not be bad advice for high schoolers. Enjoy your friends while you have time. most likely you will end up spending your life with a family you build with a woman. Looking back I remember wanting girls (I actually did have a few girlfriends) so bad but now I realize I was blessed. I love the girl I’m with now but the times I had as a teen long boarding or just going to the grocery store with my friends are priceless.
The thing is if you're improving and have even more runway to go, you're probably feeling fantastic and that WILL come across to people.
It's the same as quitting music lol. If you're denying yourself of a certain human experience there's trauma there more than likely. That's why I keep asking in my head "what did music do to you Eli?" Haha. Experiencing while keeping your frame is what makes you a man of value.
I like music
@@ElishaLong Oh alright. Good to hear. Dude I keep remembering that one tittle of your vid, but I always forget it was for dramatic effect. And the main point was to not shut yourself out of the world. Really took that title to heart for no reason man.
This is hypothetical bullshit. Sorry man. But saying "experiencing while keeping frame" is a horrible way to put things. Why not just shoot up heroin as long as you "keep your frame". Rarely is anything that simple. There are times where you have to go into the trenches, quit cold turkey, jump into the deep end to come out successful. This whole notion of "being well rounded" hardly ever works out. Successful men are ruthless and unreasonably dedicated. I mean just think back to times in your life where you made the most progress. I'm willing to bet it was times where you strapped up and dove right in without caring. Laser focused on your craft.
Awesome advice, big thanks
Will try to be more socialize
I mean if you are already the 25 year old weirdo it feels pointless to keep trying. I destroyed my self worth by assigning so much value on socializing, so now I just accept my situation and improve my life in other ways.
25 is nothing man. So much life ahead of you. Wish you the best.
This right here. Finally a real experience. The fact is that being a social butterfly has been the easiest things we've done. Lol I would go out now if I could. But I'd had to develop the discipline to ignore the sirens.
They act like they can’t invite a girl over and smash and have fun, then she leaves. Wtf is a couple hours gonna do to your “progress”? It’s all a cope
this!! furthermore most of them dont do sh in life anyways lets be honest
yeah but it's all about re-enforcement when every time you try you fail.... You either keep doing it and hurt your ego or accept the way it is. I have problem meeting new people and every time i've tried to approach, it never worked out the way i want it. Just be sincere with yourself, deep down you want a woman but you have to learn to live either way. For me even when i see some initial interest it doesnt work out. If you feel you have to take your time to heal your wounds, take it. You cant stay unaffected by how the world is treating you, some people is hard to develop confidence when all they see is rejection. Confidence= external re-enforcement of you personality X Biological sensitivity X developed Value system approach
You gotta balance all relationships in life for true fulfilment, romantic relationships are one of these
Kings are taught to not be the first ones to approach women but be approached by women
There are some guys who put way too much focus on women, but most guys just use MGTOW as an excuse to avoid women
Thank you very much for the advice! Makes much more sense to me! Could you make a video, on explaining what a business is? You say, open a business some times, I can't imagine something under the word Business. Like selling apples? Would greatly appreciate!!!
Hey Elisha, have you done a video discussing the whole have a “oneitaes “ the term the redpill and manosphere community use for guys who are to in love/ obsessed with just one woman. If you haven’t could you possibly make a video about it? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.
I don’t deserve it.
Ignore was for a reason. Many were intentionally wasting mens time.
I think a lot of the younger guys this advice is geared towards would be out there doing it if it was like "flip a switch and make the right choice". It's all well and good to just pat people on the shoulder and tell them to get after it, but people have mental illnesses. I can tell you from experience that social anxiety is a bitch and it only gets harder if you move schools a lot during your formative years. It's not like I can flick a switch and just start going out, making new friends, getting laid and into relationships. I'm 28 at this point and social anxiety never goes away and always hangs over you. It's not just "I'm bad in social situations". It infects your mindset, how you talk to yourself and think of others. Gives you intrusive thoughts and opinions about connecting with people. In my head it's like constantly arguing with a crabby old man that wants to be left alone. Over time it gives way to depressive symptoms.
25 now, always worked with 2-3 people around. Now in a huuuge company, feeling like a total weirdo, hahah! Good advices tho! :)
I need to improve on this a lot. I’m really awkward with women and I need to just talk to them more. Just with anyone in general im just a weird person
But they are just going to emotionally manipulate me and leave me for a better guy
It's easy to make suggestions like these when you're coming from a place of abundance.
Some environments do not allow for healthy socialization, especially in today's hyperpoliticized world (western, culture-less cities come to mind)
You can be open to conversation & engagement with others and be completely ignored from the backwards norms like status gauging.
There are indeed outliers but it's increasingly difficult to create lasting relationships when everyone you meet just wants you to follow them on social media then never respond when you attempt to set up events. Europe & S. America has a much healthier environment since there's still a sense of nationalism & comradery in most of its countries.
cope blame cope blame...
@@AB-ez2ct Elisha has a video about using zoomer lexicon in such a manner.
I’d invite you to watch because it might help you add value to your response.
This is a growth community, shaming rationality is not productive.
Spot on Eli! I agree
Based. Greetings from Germany, my guy
You can learn to interact with women and be social with them without being dragged into their drama. You can still focus on yourself and protect yourself by not putting women at the center of their life. How do I know this? Because I work in public library, which is a very female, dominated space and I get along with my female coworkers quite nicely. We can have conversations, and I make them laugh, tell jokes and nobody's ever called me into HR for inappropriate behavior. You can work to increase your charisma, but please don't wast it trying to impress women. It's like throwing money down the well,
Man some of you guys just need to unplug your ears from the headphones, my social skills have gone infinitely since I stopped wearing them out the house
Ive spoken to so many more girls in the gym like its become effortless because its not the barrier of stopping to pause your music then take it out your ear buds to hear what they’re saying
Honestly try it for 30 days see what a difference it makes
Only one major thing preventing me from talking to women and being social. PTSD from seeing a false accusation on a friend of mine
PTSD from someone else's bad experience? Bro stop this. You don't have 'PTSD', genuine trauma, fron the experience of *someone else.*
It's very unlikely you will get falsely accused. Is the miniscule risk worth the isolation?
Stop letting the narrative that all these women are evil vultures trying to take everything from you stop you from living your life.
Tough love, bro. Stay strong.
@@tarka9339 Still afraid of having my life ruined for nothing. I never know who will send me in prison.
@@savvathornnmysteriam9867
Life is not ruined when you get imprisoned, it only is ruined when you renounce your freedom affraid of getting it taken away from yourself.
And if I don't want to give my attention for free to women?
i just walk away from woman who doesn't care about me. I tryed to come close to her, but she doesn't care. So in that moment i was need a break from speaking with her, and she thought that i ignore her. That right, but my goal is emotional free from her, person and i achive that. it's not take 5 years its take couple months. Now myself free from her person. But we still don't speak to much, just hello and bye bye.
I think that i no need to spend time with woman who just friend for me or something like that. Meybe i'm not right.
I think i must spend time with my family, and i really like that time.
If i'm create my own family, i don't need a friends.
In my country in Russia, people so different in comparison with European or American people. Last 4 years after invasion to Ukrain people in Russia starting be really agressive and angry. They don't hide it from other people. That's sad.
3:45
It might be "ageinst nature", but so are many othet things nowadays.
Besides, we're not wild animals who let themselves be controled by our base instincts ( well, some of us are I guess ).
One doesn't need a woman to be happy and fullfilled, especially when one's driven & motivated by things tgat are important to them and tgat make them happy.
That being said he's right about cultivating other types of relationships like friends, family & colleagues and not to wrap oneself into a cocoon.
Bro I dont want STDs and superficial friends. Lol
Excuses. And Societal Programming.
Jesus, you don't have to sex with every solitary person you talk to.
Practice without purpose.
@@johnmcternan4157 I've had many friends and huge friend groups and social circles galore. In my growing up stages. As an adult its been entirely isolated and I enjoy it. I had my share of socialization. Now its time to work inward and do the shadow work from within. Peace only comes from inside. It doesn't come from an external factor. These external factors can help you attain the lessons required for peace but peace of mind only comes from within.
@@rootz420 I have chronic pain young and most of the time I'm putting on a brave face, so yes peace within 100%.
I don't disagree on any major point you made.
@@johnmcternan4157 . Its like everybody is codependent and no one is building up their independence.
Cope