Why you're so stuck - Fears, Doubts and Insecurities
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- čas přidán 16. 10. 2023
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I talk about how Fears, Doubts and Insecurities have affected me over the years in lots of areas - career, relationships, health etc
For the algorithm - mensmentalhealth, self improvement, stoicism, spirituality, connection, hesitatio, fear, doubt, insecure
This is so weird, and I commenred on your first vid, but I spent the past hour just binging your videos. You have a really sincere manner about you and this cropping up on my to watch list is really helpful.
Thanks for the comment, it really helps to know my videos are helping in some way. Welcome to the channel :)
I'm feeling just like you. began to isolate from friends and family due to anxiety and the fear of being judged. This is all mixed by a general pessimistic to nihilistic viw of my life. I'm happy that you post these videos because I feel I can learn a little bit of you by the way you reflect on your own life
Today i saw some of your videos. I like the way you think and I guess that your content helps your viewers. Stay strong or whatever way you like (depending on your situation in life) . All the best wishes to you!
Thanks Brother, I appreciate the kind words. Hope it's helped you in some way
Hi, I'm kinda new to you're channel. I feel scared sometimes too with life. I just try my best. We are all human we all make mistakes. Just remember I got this!
A lot of people get guidance from role models. I don't know about yours, but I know if I'd had a father who guided me, encouraged me, showed me things, I'd have been exposed to more and become more or less happier giving things a go. We have to be our own guidance. Its good to emulate people you admire in your real life, such as at work. Sales jobs require you being thrust into uncomfortable situations, or situations where you're not sure about a product or driver for sale. I think simply doing, is trying and you're on a good path. Look for the small gains you're getting out of things. Be uncomfortable, embrace fear, eventually your brain will less and less worried, anxious or fearful. I'm 37 myself and had 2 people this year say they emulate me(!) - was quite a surprise, but also a boost. Made me realise you can be your own role model
Thanks, this video was helpful, keep up the good work!
Thanks, glad it helped
Thanks for the Video Jay
You're welcome, hope it helped.
I wish you success in your journey. I also scrolled down and read some of the comments. Guys, don't give up and man the fuck up!! It's baffling how most young men in Western Europe and North America grew up so soft. A man in his thirties should not be afraid of a confrontation (unless it's aganst a group of thugs)! Hit the gym guys, try new things, try talking to women. Never be afraid of rejection - what do you have to lose (your life is miserable anyway), never beg for attention and don't trust people's BS. Don't get me wrong, my life is less than perfect. Most of my friends throughout the years have been into drugs and alcohol (so was I), but slowly and steadily I'm improving my life. I try not to complain and for the most part I'm self-sufficient. Loneliness is not all bad, but if it gets overwhelming that means changes are needed. Give up videogames and porn! Get out there and try to live! And remember that change comes from within. Nobody cares about you (maybe only your mom) and depending on other people to be happy is stupid. That's my 2 cents.
I always have social anxiety. Drinking help at party but then I get to wasted and act stupid. Better just to be patience and have normal conversations
Agreed it can be difficult to draw a line once you get started. For me, I think I love the way it quiets my mind and allows me to get in the moment but taken too far, it has a rebound effect and can make you feel more anxious for a few days after.
I worked for a variety of companies in the early noughties during which I made bad decisions. I was testing waters to see what suited me.
I worked for a company in 2007 that ended in voluntary redundancy. So I took the following year off to get my sanity back.
Since 2009 I've worked in the public sector.
It is worthwhile doing a Myers-brigg test to find what makes you tick.
Thanks for sharing. I think it takes a lot of pressure off people who feel they have to make a decision and stick with it for life. I think the tests can be useful but I find they're a capture in that moment and I've taken it at several different times in my life and got a different results
@@JayWallacethat’s good it shows you are evolving
I think if you wanted to be, you could be a motivational speaker! Really insightful video, thanks
Thanks I really appreciate that!
I’ve come to accept that two years is the magic number for me… two years doing a certain job and it gets to the point where I wake up each morning and think, I can’t keep doing this, I’ve got to try something different. And sure enough, I end up doing something different! Couldn’t agree more, your next step, is not your last step. There is an analogy which goes, imagine standing in the middle of the woods, and there’s four paths in front of you, one of those paths will lead you out the woods. Thing is you don’t know which one. But unless you try one you’re never going to get out of the woods. If the first one isn’t right, you can deviate to the next…
Yeah I think it's so easy to believe that the decision you make is forever and we don't realise we can change almost anything we want, whenever we want. You can't mistakes if you're feeling your way through life, you just learn more about what you do and don't want.
I'm going to be honest. Most of my depression comes from the way I look/appearance. Imagine waking up everyday have to pass mirrors 24/7 and not liking what you see it hurts so much. Then how people treat you when your percieved as ugly.Then the fear of ending up alone for the rest of my life because if how unattractive I am. I have dry skin, acne, uneven skin tone , dark sunken circles. I really love my facual features but my skin ruins my appearabce and ik looks isn't everything but I just feel like I haven't reach my full potential given the flaws in my appearance and it eats me up everyday of my miserable life. I have social anxiety terrible i dont even step outside of my door if i so i wear a hoodie. I'm in so much pain if i could just tweak my appearance to look better (by appearance i mean the actual skin on my face not my actual features just my bad skin😢)
That sounds tough sorry to hear that. It probably helps to know that no one thinks about you as much as you do and I bet most people don't see the things you do in the mirror. Also, even if what you say is true, there are probably hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people in the same boat that live happy, fulfilling lives. If you were in India for instance, you might be worshiped as having been blessed by the Gods.
Point is, focus on what you can control and ignore the rest. You can't control what features you were born with, you can't control people's reactions but you can control your attitude and actions. Focus on that.
nice, thanks for your words from germany :)
Glad you found them useful, thanks for watching
Hard times in the city
completely unrelated topic , what does the tattoo on your right bicep say in latin ? thank you , and hello from Miami , FL
I was waiting for someone to ask. It's actually a joke that I thought was funny at the time I had it done. The translation is "Anything said in Latin sounds profound".
I was like you. I've watched a few videos now today. I remember a turning point. I was in a dead end IT job, and seen a Twitter post for a local Defcon hacker group in my area at a pub. I broke the mould and turned up on my own. I knew no one. Luckily they were all drunk by the time I got there, and they welcomed me with open arms. 7 years later, and I have a job hacking companies everyday and those days of making crap judgments and feeling like crap about myself are gone. People rely on me to do professional work and the stakes are high, so somehow you just rise to it and have purpose each day. Men need purpose. We need to feel we're valued in society, and I think that's been lost somewhere down the line. Certain growing up in the 80s and 90s, and if you weren't a joiner, electrician or a plumber you had no hope. Now you can be a tree if you want, and I think that's where the problem lies for people. Too much choice and too many decisions. Find out what you like, and go for it with both feet in the biggest sliding tackle of your life.
Hope you're doing well Jay
Getting there thanks :)
digging the profound shift in you lately in these videos. hope you're also going and doing some therapy - it'll only enhance all of this for ya.
guess what I'm saying here is, sounds like you're doing a lot better lately.
Thanks. I'm glad to know that's coming through on the videos. A lot has changed since I posted the first video and I feel like it's not as if I've changed massively, more that I'm getting a better understanding of who I am and what I want. That allows me to make better decisions rather than trying to force someone I think might make me happy.
Don't know if that makes sense but hope the videos are helping in some way. Thanks for watching
Hey I just got done watching your two biggest videos and am just wondering do you do NoFap? This is a game changer when it comes to confidence in social situations.
You sound just like me. It's actually scary. Have you ever thought about getting diagnosed with ADHD? After watching some of your videos, it really sounds like you might have it and untreated has maybe led to some OCD.
There may be a time in my life where I look down the medical route, but for now I don't want to put a label on things. There are times when I'm depressed, there are times when I'm anxious, there's times when my mind goes a million miles an hour and there's times I feel numb.
There's no pill out there that can fix all those things at once.
@@JayWallace that part! I'm pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADHD, and he reminds me of me. The 1,000-and-1 odd jobs was 100% me in my 20s 😂😂
jesus dude, you are soooo cute
Have u ever thought about joining army ?
A long time ago. I used to be in the cadets when I was younger and loved it but I'm too old for the military now and I really don't like taking orders so not sure it would be a wise move!
Like
I think you're crazy handsome, btw.
Thank you :)
Why are you different to other men around today? Introsoective and self-aware?
I think we're all self-aware when we want to be. A lot of people just don't want to face their demons
How about reading about Islam from a trusted source, when you get some free time?
The only repetition you will find is to emphasize on important truth.
I hate repetitive tasks too which could be automated.
Why Islam tho?
@@ThinkAlienly Because he will find the answers he's looking for.