Hey Steve: What Are My Boyfriend's Intentions?
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- čas přidán 19. 11. 2018
- A young lady in my audience had a question about her mans intentions, I think you deserve to know what I had to say.
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“I mess with you?” That’s something you say to a side piece 🙄 4 yrs? Boy bye!!!!!
L Thompson she’s the side piece, but she doesn’t want to acknowledge it.
@@hhh2641 that's for dam sure especially if he ain't the old school and tradition type of person when it comes to love and marriage.
Bye and bye,🤣
L Thompson okay! He wouldn’t have made it past like month 2
She’s just a part of his rotation
Four years 🤦 I don't understand these young women not having self worth to recognize the game.
That pipe game
Talk about it
Funny thing is we as womem have all been played by the game... Now at this point we are old enough to know the difference....but you can't bash her for being in her season for foolishness
Some young aren’t taught. So can you really blame them?
I think it comes from lack of guidance. As a young woman your parent should be teaching you how to properly court and date each other. Some of these people are missing a mother or a father and it really shows in their dating life.
Look here baby stop letting that boy "RENT" you. After 4 YEARS and you still have no clarity of what you are to him, you needed to have left 3 1/2 YEARS ago. Stop "PLAYING" house and move on. You have given him too much time already.
Tonya Calvin amen the man deserves wife material from a girlfriend period smh
I mean AMEN !!!
I agree! 100%
Preach
More like year 1
Why do girls accept to date in the first place without titles?? you're either my boyfriend or just a friend, nothing in between..
Exactly!
She is not in between, she is in the side.
True
In this "new age" of relationships, titles don't mean anything until years go by and u realize u a side piece or "friends w/ benefits" title offers no REAL benefit. Ur not "needy" ladies if u want confirmation on what the relationship is. IT'S OUR RIGHT
There can be an in between. Fuck buddies lol
How many times does Steve have to answer the SAME question??? Some ladies will NEVER get it. You have the power to change a man or leave. If he really wants you, he will change. If not then you leave.
Ira Jr Women shouldn’t have to “change” the man in the first place.
Zip P they should not have to change a man. Unfortunately a lot of times men pursue a woman and aren’t mentally ready to be with anyone. A lot of the women asking these types of questions allow men to fully dictate the nature of the relationship. That is not right. And ladies need to realize their voice and power
Ladies DO NOT Listen To This Advice! You CAN NOT Change A Man! Or Any Other Human For That Matter! People Only Change When They Are Really And Willing To Change For Themselves. So If You Don’t Like The Package... Keep It Moving! Don’t Wait On Anyone To Change. You’re Wasting Your Time!
Jeez thank you, like they never get the hint in the relationship.
AMEN!!!
It's hard to let it go, but once you do. It's the best feeling in the world ✌❤
@ FAE 19- ABSOLUTELY!!
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
i tell you that !👏🏾
The Best!!! FreeeEdom
@@thickianaaa2286 my
Wait.... WHAT!???? 4 YEARS...? No ma'am..... he is NOT the one.
These days who is the one?? with an avg.of 10 woman-1 man and that's a low avg some places 21 to 1 and social media involved..and not including the gay men now its more woman than that for 1 man
@@blvxkgxld4319 Agreed.... the 'One' can be anyone who is more than willing to be loyal in the midst of the abundance of choices. Just be honest enough to say 'I do not want a relationship'
@@Nicki1969able I Agree QUEEN...but thank about the statistics and actually finding that one and not the one for a min. we talking for the rest of your time as u exist as a human and beyond.. I feel that's true real unconditional love with a soulmate...MEANING FOREVER TIME...THAT'S WHAT WE ALL ARE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING THAT LASTS BEYOND THIS EXISTENCE...WHERE OUR ENERGIES CAN CONNECT ON ANOTHER FIELD OF EXISTENCE....
I subscribed to your channel too..
@@blvxkgxld4319 AWESOME 😁💋
Dont let some fool waste your life!! Time is precious..
How you know she ain't wasting his time?
@@rashardstallworth9240 he would have left her alone if that were the case
+Rashard Stallworth Is that even possible - with a real man?
@@tianamiller6820
How many kids does she have? Does she work? Is she faithful? How does she spend her $? Does she flash on him when shes angry? You dont know any of that so alll the male bashing ridiculous. All we know from what she said, if shes being honest, is she chose an unavailable man. "She Chose". Wasnt forced into it. Lots of men and women chose topass up good people looking for serious relationships for unavailable people and then get mad with the unavailable person. Its ridiculous. He could be focused on his carrer and not looking for anything serious. He could be married, there are a lot of people dating other folks spouses. She needs to take responsibility for her own life and go get what she wants but amost likely if shes attracted to unavailable guys she'll probably go and get another unavailable dude and be saying the same thing about him. We all choose what we have.
Tianna Miller maybe he’s fucking her and that’s it lol
4 years and you don't know. He doing what you letting him do
How do you see someone for four years!?
Like how
I just asked the same question out loud.
xyz panther i actually had to pause for a second when she said it .. 4 years ? That’s undergrad right there . And for those who did undergrad y’all know you can’t be undecided for too long ..gotta pick a major .. a title or something..
@@noonelikeyou13 lmfao I like the way u put it.u my dear, are a genius!
@@noonelikeyou13 exactly
The audience answered for Steve 😂
😂😂
She's the side chick.
Oooooh you might be right...didn't think of that
most likely
Yes she is
My first thought. She has no idea lolol
ABSOLUTELY! He told her she means nothing to him, he is literally messing with her mind, body and soul. If a man runs from labels and commitment, as a woman with self pride, YOU should run for the nearest exit. Period.
Belinda Joy
Agreed. She can still mess with him but take the emotions out of it
Absolutely !! Run like she is in a marathon 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃 and block his number and never answer my door for him never again
He didn't do anything wrong tho... Seems like from the start they didn't discuss what each require from them. What they want with a partner.. They just went on in with no question... When she finally asks the question... He tells her straight up. He tells in an ungentle way but he keeps it 💯.. Its ahite just to want sex.. But before anybody do anything gotta make sure they want the same exact thing.. She ain't do that. Their relationship is a misunderstanding...
Correction: She has ALLOWED him to mess with her mind, soul, and emotions.
So accurate.
Friends with benefits
Exactly...& He sounds like an ass.
He was only in it for the sex. Sis needs to drop the zero.
Right T. Banks and so many women fall victim to waiting on a man to give them a title
Dedrah. 3 years though...? She wasted 3 years on a relationship she doesn't even want with the guy...being too hopeful. 😟
Yea, but if she's in it for this long, then she has to take personal accountability on her part too! I mean, she didn't have a problem with this for the past 3 1/2 years. Why now?
“I mess with you” means that you’re just apart of the rotation
She's not gon do anything steve said except for asking
Tonic Shondlani Yep. She has allow for it to go on for to long. At this point it will be hard for her to get away. She is in to deep. I hope she finds the mind set she needs to move on.
Sad but true
It's like you read my mind!!😱
He should bring her on the show and set her up on some dates, just to break her cycle.
Alison Francis yes sounds great
I have learnt a lot from watching ... steve Harvey ...... he said a man willl change ... for only ..one women ... and if ain’t ..you ... then move ...on ..simple ..
Which of Steve's 3 WIVES did HE change for????
Just curious.....
A schmuck gets a mic and all of a sudden he's a guru.....
It's easy to 'pimp' a bunch of nonsense to make women feel good no matter what....
Oprah retired....Bernie Mack died so Steve slide right into a void in the market, good for him...but he's 'hustling' female emotions to 'da 🏦, period.
Dr. Phil, Denzel even Snoop Dog can give STAYING with a woman advice with more cred than Harvey c'mon now ppl😒
@@ericstewart517 I can tell you from personal experience. It's easier to give a sound advice than than to take your own sound advice. Emotions can get in the way of making the right choices even when you know what they are. Sometimes you need someone else help you make those choices even if they themselves did not make them.
Steve probably did not have someone who could guide him. I am not defending him. I only see him on CZcams. All I am saying is that you should not dismiss a good advice regardless of its source.
As you gain power it gets lonelier and it's harder to seek help. Successful people have the most skeletons in their closets.
@@zeepack He said he wasn't the same man he was back then... When he got daughters.. He wanted to make sure when the time is right they have the right man for them... Maybe Margie Harvey is that woman he finally changed for...
Eric Stewart I get what you’re saying but does say some valid things.
Why does it always have to be the man who has to change?
Exactly, no boyfriend after college "You're my man, I'm your woman"
There's no difference. If u aren't his fiance or wife you don't really have a label. Yep, That's the truth.
@@raymondjames3755 😂😂😂👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾
@@user-zx5xw4yw2e u ain't lying
He’s using her as a time filler to meet his physical needs until he find someone he really wants to be with. She shouldn’t let him if that’s not what she’s looking for. If she wants a real relationship, she should love herself enough to leave him so she can be available for someone who is also seeking a true relationship and not just a sexship.
"I mess w/ u" is about as straight and honest of an answer a young dumb guy will give. He told her basically all she is to him is someone to mess around with, nothing more or else it woulda changed way before 4 damn yrs
She not listening to anything Mr. Steve is saying, she's just going to keep putting out because they have "great chemistry" SMH
A lot of people these days are not even boyfriends and girlfriends..they wanna live without a title ..
So girl leave this man and find a better one ..a man treats you the way you allow him to treat you
Better yet, let the right man find you.
@Chad Payne Well if she's not girlfriend material why stay with her and lead her on? Would you want a woman to lead you on and lie to you?
@@rikanejose2611
You just heard one side of the story. Plus you have no idea what type of person she is.
Yea when I was dating my husband, he asked to be my boyfriend, he never said "we're just kicking it" but he also told me before our first date that he was looking for something serious anyway and if I wasn't, then he didn't have time to play games.
Agree!
Even total strangers have good chemistry (in bed)... that still doesn't mean that he's serious. That's just called lust and sex. As soon as you get up, he's already over it.
As long as you allow it, he's coming back for more. Love yourself and believe God for someone that's going to love you, empower you, respect you, value you, honor you, love himself, love and honor God.
Brenda J hell , even outside of sex, I can have good chemistry /convo with someone ( a stranger that may be heading home to his family)🚗
@@4cistasonly897 That is very true.
Yup she's confusing attraction with relationship potential. Meanwhile he is showing and telling her exactly what it is a "mess". 🤷
AMEN! Preach!!
...and COMMIT to you!
He's not that into you
I felt really sorry .. for these girl .... most women in her shoes .... I have been at these exact situation ... and I decided .. I better be a lone than have a guy who wasting ... my energy and my time ......
Same thing w me.
.......yes............agreed................,..............
I think she already knew the answer to that question. 😦😞
As soon as she said “i’ve been seeing this guy for 4 years, I started shaking my head thinking “aw lawd here it goes” 😂
Lmao me too!
If he shut down move on. To someone else that knows what he wants. Girl do not waste no more time on him. Be like a ghost. You are right Steve keeping it real.
Steve went straight to the point. I've noticed that many of the questions the ladies ask is about the same thing. Steve gives them the same answer but in a different way. Bottom line is that we as ladies have to stop settling for anyone just to have a relationship, and not be afraid to wait on God for the special man He has for each of us. That may mean being by ourselves for a season, as God prepares us for His best. We may be alone for a brief minute and have to wait, but it will be well worth it!
Amen sister!
You nailed it sis.
What does “God” have to do with it. Why doesn’t God keep women away from these users, these disrespectful, selfish men? Why doesn’t he stop these jerks from messing with other humans? But he will “send” you the right one. 🙄 I guess he lock and chooses who he “blesses”
Girl he is playing around. 4 years? Nope.
She's playing too!!!
Y man are playing a round with all this good girls i want a good girl and can not rind enery
Exactly! Absolutely not....
A label must be known, if he does not label you as his gf then leave. If he really wants you he will make you his gf. 4 years is a long time being confused.❤️
Umm didn’t the guy already answer her question by telling her “I mess with you”. Smh
He shuts down after you tell him how you feel. And you been together for four years. There's a old movie out called he's just not that into you. And well he's just not you're a convenience to him.
Hopefully she listened to Steve and did not call or go running to the non existing boyfriend.
I like how Steve went from 1year to 6 months to 90 days😂😂😂
Show these non-stop
Hes a immature, playing games & she allowed it. A real man gives a title for the relationship. I can only imagine how he introduces her to some of his friends & family, & how she feels about it @ that moment.
That's IF she's been introduced to the other people in his life. Probably haven't
u got good chemistry wht is that...n u askin him
abt relationship wht u want too?.. u stringin him too..not
all on him..think for self
She was definitely told what their relationship is but is in denial. 4 years come on
Four years is too long to not know what's going on with that relationship. I would have left a long time ago. Life is short and I agree with Steve that after college you too old to be like we just kicking it.
Even the simplest job has a title. Dating is time limited. It expires at six months. If it’s not going anywhere then you go somewhere.
“I am going to be over here. When you are ready, you can come over here. I may still be there or I might not.” 👍🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼😃
I wish I had all this advice when I was younger. I was totally clueless. TOTALLY.
How could you “mess with someone” for 4 YEARS?! 4 years?! That’s crazy! Who wastes four years with any man who doesn’t say that you’re his girlfriend ... I don’t understand girls like this like c’mon 🤦🏻♀️
I effin love Harvey, wish I had someone like him around when I was putting up with all these loser's thinking that's what love was.
Girl I just got out of dealing w a guy like this. But only 6 months
You had more brains than her! Congrats :)
At least you took accountability at the right moment. Since she, on the other hand, waited for 4 years to realize this, she knew *EXACTLY* what she signed up for, and got what she deserved. It takes a while, but it sure as hell doesn't take *THAT LONG* to figure out what the other person's intentions are.
I am so happy you Dodge that bullet and sent his ass down the river 👉👉👉🌊🌊🌊 I'm so proud of you for having love for yourself and knowing your value and no longer wasting time wit somebody that is not wanting commitment
Alex Burgess you’re a beautiful woman who deserves a better man
You are smart lol
This is the part where they show kills me. If a woman is halfway dating a guy for 4 years then he is half of the problem, then she is the other. Society needs to stop thinking it's always a man's mess. For 4 years, it was everybody's mess.
You don't even have to ask him again, just leave. This guy messed with you, played you, disrespected you, and you will ask him: what is this????
NO! RUN!
that big laugh when Steve says, 'he messed with you' makes me feel so bad for this sister. 4 years of your life! That laugh is a laugh of hurt and shame...oh no!
Ummm girl run, I don’t think she need to be asking anymore, he clearly told her “we are messing “ the next time you ask him he will tell u what u wanna hear just to make you stay and before you know it its 10 years already. I think she should move on and forget about him.
Steve is the Father I need in my life right now
If he aint your man, he doesn't get to touch your body. Old school says you have to wait for marriage. Why? BC it weeds out the trash.
I love what Steve days about boyfriends and girlfriends. I think it's weird to be saying that once you're a certain age, too.
Love you! Thanks for your advice and inspiration!
So girl do you have a man or are you his sidechick. We just messing around for 4 yrs. What a waste. Girl what is your 5 year plan for a relationship?
How does she not get it after 4 years?
Because she's dumb!!!
It’s a lot harder to see the picture when you’re in the frame. Don’t be so hard on her, even I can see her situation but can’t/won’t get out of mine.
Yeah and probably gives her signals that she's looking for to keep her on the string
Because she was just messing with him too.
He's wasting ur time. I would have been left him. At this point in ur relationship he should have proposed to u by now
ms prayer warrior why doesn’t she propose
Talk about entitlement for someone to say "You shud propose to me in 4 years"
@@Jonathan-wj6uh Do you feel entitled to get all the benefits from a woman for FOUR YEARS without giving her the respect of the title, your commitment and declaration of love? If so, you are one selfish idiot
She said he's beating It up good..😂🤣 Apparently she likes the Mess that's She's in..
THAT WAS EXCELLENT!!! I'm SO GLAD Steve said that about after college.
Uncle Steve, you give the best advice!!! GOD BLESS YOU!
Our survey SAYS!...
True! Some people in relationship like forever. Stop wasting your time. Is either the guy don't love u or u don't love the guy or something just not clicking
That's why l love Steve show learning.
Your 👑 wisdom is extremely high Mr. Harvey, You sir, should have Your Own, personal, boss management show to continue with this amazing advice You give. Love, great blessings and respect from the UK 🇬🇧 🦋 🙏🏾 🦋
Great advice Mr. Harvey👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
To anyone in any length of relationship, I’ve learned this in my life- if you start talking about the relationship, and he shuts you down? He sees himself as in control and he has no worries of losing you. He knows he’s calling the shots. By shutting down, he’s taking total control of the relationship. Basically, you will stay at his leisure and he doesn’t care about losing you. Not just guys, people play that games. Saying nothing gives them power because you’re left guessing. Someone that wants you, doesn’t want you to guess. In this case, he said it. He’s only messing with her. Time to go.
Walk away
If she had better options should have been moved on
Rashard Stallworth How do you know she doesn’t have better options?? She’s too emotionally and mentally attached, that’s why she hasn’t left.
Yes I agree walk away and never look back and never go back
This is the reason why I am proud of my man. We been friends, like real platonic friendship, for 6 years and only considered dating each other when we both felt so at home and safe despite sharing our insecurities and ugly sides. And he made his intentions known to me the moment we started dating. But even then, he said he pictured us getting married and having a family before he decided to pursue me. We're still happily dating, both working our asses off to have a better career and to save up for our future but at least we both know where we're heading. 🙂
My bf said that men are planners. Wouldn't get involved in something he doesn't know where he's going and wouldn't likely change his mind halfway through it. In the end, I guess it's still better to wait for a long time rather than settle on something that won't get you anywhere for long.
6 years and still planning? He played you with words and a delayed plan, that has yet to materialize. You bought a bill of goods. Move on! Go brave!
You just wasted 6 years of your life. If you still think he's in the planning stages after 6 years then you'll be waiting another 6 years. The crazy part is that he has you thinking this is a good idea. Time to move on to someone who won't be "planning" for almost a decade.
Thanks for your advice ❤️❤️❤️
She’s beautiful and clearly an intelligent girl. Sis, you deserve BETTER! Don’t let him waste your precious time!
Best vid advice of all , to confront life head on, thanks Mr Steve
Solid advice!! Steve is the man :)
I've realized that men can have that same" chemistry" with several other women at the same timw too..so I'm looking past chemistry..I'm looking at consistency and assurance.
They can live a double life perfectly unnoticeable!
You date a guy for 4 years and whenever you ask him where this is going, he clams up?
If you don't know the answer, you DON'T WANT to know it...He has answered your question with his REFUSAL to discuss it...The next move is up to you or nothing will change!
How do you know someone you don't _know?_ "I've known him for four years, but I don't know how he'll react to this or I don't know what he'll think if I say this...!" When _are_ women going to start thinking and stop letting their men friends play them for _complete fools for hire?_
Lol I'm done!
Exactly! And speak up for what you want out of your relationship! Stooop giving men that control over your future....
A men will do as much as you allow !!! No time for games
Run girl! RUN!!!
Mr Harvey is such an intelligent well established man I have learned a lot from him like a man treats you how you allow him to I wish as a young lady my dad thought me half of these things Mr Harvey knows I really love you SIR your family are blessed to have you in there life
WOMEN STOP GIVING MEN EZ PASS ...TURNING A BLIND...MAKING EXCUSING...ETC. ETC. & COMPLAINING 😿SMDH😿
I agree Steve, and I’ve asked this same question.
real talk,thank you
Everything sounds better when Steve says it!
4 years 🤯! He might have a whole wife and a little Jerome or Fiance somewhere.
little jerome lolllllllllll
Yes.got the POINT
Right on Steve!!👍
Amen! Well said, Steve. 😀
I think you know already what the game is, but you are not ready to let it go. You said the chemistry is out of this world. That is what you have settled for. The guy told you he is "messing with you." What else do you need to hear? He has already told you!
Steve said it all!!
Thank you Steve
i just love your videos !!
Steve is on point.
Great Advice.
Thank you 🙏
Oh I so hope she listened!
That's right Uncle Steve. Been there, done that! You were ABSOLUTELY correct in ur answer.
That Boyy know some relationships & gives great advice 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽.
Just like an ex addict talking to one still out there.
Kitchywac YEP!!
Excellant advice.
Steve nailed it on this one!
Steve always answering this same question o women we need to rise above our emotions and think about ourselves these men keep making a fool of us..smh🙄
Was shocked when I heard 4years. Gracious goodness. We all need to know it position in each other's life and where we are heading to.
He gives the best advice!
That's right!!