Beautiful but emotionally repressed woman, with an emotionally distant husband. The child wasn't loved because the parents had not been loved themselves. All of them needed help.
The boy was so preoccupied with his toys, while the doctor spoke to him. But when the boy heard the words... "love you", he stopped what he was doing, looked the doctor in the eyes and asked "you love me?".... this poor kid probably never heard anyone say that to him, his whole life. Now we see the root cause of his aggressive behavior.
His mother referred to him as 'the child'. Very impersonal. I was a child in the 50's/60's and had a very kind & caring mother. We were working class so didn't have much in the way of possessions. Love is free. Myself & most of my close friends were not disciplined in a physical way so had a good childhood. School however showed us a different side to life. Corporal punishment was prevalent. Watching 'rude' children being struck with a leather belt did not help them or those of us that had to watch. The usual recipients ended up getting in trouble with the police or dying young due to taking drugs. A long time ago now but never forgotten. Violence can begat violence. At least it did in our school 😢
@@msch7620Correct, he paid attention the whole time, but it seemed as though he wasn’t, especially when juxtaposed against his reaction to those magical words.
So if I broke your nose punching you in the face you would think I'm just looking for love and affection? Sometimes I know it's hard for most people to grasp but people give into the monster that is human nature rather than fight it... Even in loving environments this can happen and has
Did u watch the video? Obviously every case is different and what u said is a possibility, but we just watched a 30 minute case study on this child. How can u compare that to ur dumbass walking up and punching someone and argue that anyone would call them similar situations??
Yes, it really brought me back to when I'd visit the HS where my mom taught History and Government. I'd sit like a nice, grownup little lady pretending not to mind the teachers' smoke.
I wasn’t born in the 60’s or anything, but I have a feeling they likely couldn’t since he was a little boy and the medication wasn’t as.. advanced? Unsure, really
This one’s rocky, sure the whole throwing opioids at mental instabilities only works on some occassions, the power of love can only go but so far for suffering individuals
boy must be near 70 now, wish we could hear an interview of how his life turned out, memories,if he noticed mom/dad trying. I ask God to help me as a parent, He always comes through for me.
Ngl, Doctor seems pretty awesome. I tend to look back on mental health and behavioral practices from that time period with a bit of horror. But I was pleasantly surprised by this interaction.
Seen The Madman and the Professor? (Just for the odd kind doctor in a 19th century asylum that are usually portrayed as inhumane...). Decency is decency, throughout time
@@sarahg2653 oops. I'm back to front. It's the Professor and the Madman. Dunno where you're at with Mel Gibson but I think he's a good actor despite personal difficulties... Creative arts are full of people with problems, sometimes it's tricky. Like, I loathe Polanski personally but I can't boycott his films! Rotten Tomatoes slayed Professor and the Madman but I found lots to like in it, plenty indeed....
@@lemonstealinghorsdoeuvre they are mentioning this cause this happens a lot in real life as well..a lot of the blame of emotional education is placed on the mother..not always just I see it happen a lot
@@audas she doesn't suggest blaming the father for anything. Your personal bias came up with that. All she said is there is only one part of the story visible and that everyone tends to be blaming the extremely attractive mom, and for all we know the father could be far worse of an influence. All we know is that the kid is annoying, the mom is hot, and you are easily triggered. Anita applied thought, you applied prejudice.
I'm a step dad to a boy that has aggressive tendencies at school. This video has opened my eyes to many things I didn't know. His dad wasn't there. He craves male companionship so much. But he also needs male kindness and love.
Being a parent is hard, being a step parent is harder. Blessings to you and upon your journey as you try to heal that which you did not hurt and in breaking those cycles.
@@NiteOwlish thank you so much!!! We've definitely made a lot of progress. I've definitely noticed that being tender with him and very soft spoken has helped. Him seeing a big man be sweet and kind is not something he is used to. It's opening his eyes to how he can be too if he tries.
I was a step mother to a boy like this. Nothing I said or did made a change. My ex expected me to change the boy. I had a 3 year old,this kid was 6. Never had any consistency in his life. He was aggressive with my child. Yet the boys father never spent time with him or showed genuine affection. It was a living hell.
@@janetsides901 spending time with them and showing genuine affection is the key. I'm sorry that you had to live through this. The task of raising a young boy should have been more on him (the dad) than anything. I'm sorry if this sounds wrong, but it's a man's job to teach his son (or step son) how to be a man.
This sweet boy. He is so obviously neurodiverse, there’s nothing wrong with him other than a lack of love and acceptance. And this doctor, my God, what an extraordinary physician. A doctor with this wisdom and innate understanding during this time period was so rare, what a fantastic person living his Hippocratic oath. I am so grateful that in our modern age we have a better understanding of this. This doctor’s approach is the common and accepted approach.
When a child gets labeled as “trouble” how he is treated by adults changes. He’s “trouble” and it follows him everywhere. Sad because children need LOVE. Love cures a lot! ❤❤
My mum was very emotionally cold and everything was about her......I remember as a child a babysitter hugged me and showed me the first bit of affection I had ever experienced. I remember my sadness and how I clung to her when she had to leave. It made me realise what affection was. I remember the pain of her leaving was all consuming!
I was married to a man like that. He worked two jobs to avoid the difficult job of raising our kids, and was highly critical, of the limits I set. He often let the kids out of punishments and the limits I set. I tried many years and once the kids were grown (which definitely felt like a prison term), I divorced him. My second husband was the exact opposite of my first husband! I was a full time step mum to two of his four kids. This experience was so enjoyable, I almost hated to see them grow up. So, I learned then, it wasn’t totally “me”, it was the lack of “us” that was the problem. Sadly, the people we love, sometimes ARE NOT the people we should have kids with. 😞
Yes . We’ll put . Mine was very course towards me . And I’d beg her to not go to work but I know she had to . I lived with her but I didn’t see her much . I stay with my grandparents a lot . And I love them all to this day but I strive to be more like my Nana . She was a sweet soul and made sure we had grocerys . She was my fathers mom . He was in prison his whole life so she and my granddaddy tried to make up for his absence . My father was adopted . And I’m so thankful he was ♥️
Me too. I didn't know how to act on rare occasions when anyone showed any affection..i was NEVER hugged or told i love u! Never heard my mother say it & when i told my dad once that i loved him his response was.."i know" ! 😂😅😂! Unbelievable! No hugging, or ur amazing, talented, pretty (&i was very pretty once i hit about 17) nothing at all to validate me as a worthy human being..needless to say i had a lot of problems growing up..
That was very telling when he was worried about getting paint on his hands and said “uh oh, I’m afraid, cause mommy’s gonna give me a hit”. then right after he says “the mother is going after the baby, she’s gonna spank the baby” then says “the father is going to spank the mother, then the mother is going to spank the baby”. A cold household where everyone tries to impose their dominance over the weaker members. No wonder the boy is aggressive. He has to be when the whole family dynamic is based on a power struggle. The weak get spanked. Then submits to the aggressor. That’s how you get what you want. The poor boy didn’t invent that. He learned it from his empathetically bankrupt parents.
@@seeker8097 Yes.... Oh as we live, we learn. Or supposed to anyway. My parents were never parented. But they did a decent job considering. I have found so much compassion for people now.
This was me. I was very similar to Phillip. My parents didn't change, however. I found the love I needed from other caretakers. Babysitters, tutors, teachers, psychiatrists. I knew that I couldn't be all bad if at least some people who knew me well loved me.
Her indifference to her child is palatable. I can see why he is starved for affection, affirmation, and encouragement. She might love him, but she doesn't like him very much and it shows.
I wouldnt agrree. Maybe she doesnt know how to show emotions because nobody showed her. She was unloved or not enough loved. Without having a role model its difficult to act properly.
That's not indifference. Indifference is not caring one way or another. She cares, but was ignorant on discipline and didn't know how to show affection..if she was indifferent, she wouldn't have bothered talking to the doctor
I had a little boy at my school, who was overly aggressive and I told him since he was so much bigger he was like one of the teachers, and told him instead of hitting someone, to come to me, and tell me what was going on, and we could come up with ideas on how things could be better. It worked. Also he never wanted to clean up the class, so I would ask him where things went and he helped me put things away.
So true! I've spent a boatload of money on therapy to try to undo my childhood. It's been money well spent. My parents were the worst bullies. I wouldn't treat an enemy the way they treated me and my sisters. Horrific things went on behind closed doors. It is stopping with me, though. The generational trauma ends here. Too bad I'm too scarred to want children 😂 🙃.
Discipline without a loving relationship is damaging emotionally. Also, I love how the principal is smoking a cigarette in her office at the preschool. 🤦♀️
It broke my heart how quickly the boy calmed down when the therapist hugged him…. All he needed was empathy, kindness and patience but his parents and even teachers failed him :(
Which annoys me because the mother towards the beginning said "" He has everything he wants and needs "" its a Shame some parents fail to see the very thing the child needs is love, attention, kindness, empathy etc. She sometimes refers to the child as "" IT"" 🥺 hurt adults going on to have hurt children
"So the 6-year-old boy is the man of the house? He gets mostly what he wants." "Mostly, that's right." "Well, that sounds like a lot of responsibility for a child." My wife and I dropped our jaws. What an interesting perspective. Mom is clearly at her wits end trying to do right by everyone, and mostly succeeding, but I don't think she or dad were ever equipped with the tools to fulfill a child's emotional needs. She's a great mom - doing her utmost with what she CAN know at the time, even bringing her young child to get help.
that's a recipe for disaster. The 'child' should always understand their parents are the ones who make decisions in the home. A child without boundaries will become a miserable child and adult.
A friend of mine who used to live next door didn't set boundaries with her son, and he had major problems. To be fair, she grew up in an absolutely horrible household, and was trying to be a cycle breaker. But she wasn't doing it quite right. Her son ran the show. Just an example: she was going to take me out to dinner for my birthday, but he didn't like where we were going, so he got to pick the restaurant instead of me. A 5-year-old made the choice of where we were eating for my birthday. I wasn't mad or anything...more just aghast. They moved several years ago, and I know he wound up in therapy, so I hope he's doing much better.
@@fl0nk11 thank you for telling this story. I am always shocked when parents are giving their children adult decisions to make. I knew a child who was allowed to pick their sibling's middle name! Not from a list of names, just from whatever words they could come up with in their head. I don't get it.
My mother is an early childhood teacher. In behavioural reports that go to parents I’ve seen that they use Initials or ‘the other child’ or ‘Other’ for safety reasons - protecting that child from identification by strangers - an example was a choking incident like the video, the mother of the choked child was extremely protective and threatened to sue (can’t sue in New Zealand) the parents of the child when they found out who they were. To avoid the whole mess and others like it, my mother used fake initials, ZT, to which the mother was looking on the birthday wall for the initials. Her plan apparently was to find the child, wait with them, and threaten the parents. Nut jobs are why nut rules are in nut place.
@@geminiwriter8875 Yup Licensed k-12/special ed teacher k- 8 over here. Written a fair share of IEP's. Parenting/environment is huge on the development of a child....fu**ing obviously...but, neurology/brain structure is a large part of "dysfunction"/(abnormalities as well), too. Pardon poor grammar, as I am talking to text on the go..., obviously. I will say that in homacidal cases especially, when the *past tense* is used/not the names etc, that is a red flag for sure, as mentioned.
@@natalie9884 well, the kid its aggro because his mother beat the sht up of him everytime he behaves like a child, he is just mimicking his own experience
I honestly got choked up when when Filipe wanted to share the game he had been roleplaying with the therapist - he wanted his mother to see him and share that with her. He wants her approval, he isn’t embarrassed. Having the therapist discussing that they’re playing Husband and Wife game with lots of Kisses and there is No Arguing. It was honestly really beautiful and profound and it moves me almost to tears how he’s helping and connecting with this boy who needs the support of the adults around him
@ 3:18 "You love me?" That innocent little face...my heart absolutely sank 🥺💔 It's obvious that what he's lacking is affection, and protection. Wrap your arms lovingly around your children, they are the most precious jewels you will ever have.
I have worked in early childhood education for 40 years and the look on a child’s face at 4 years old when you say you are a clever kind ,good boy is priceless. It like they have never heard these words before heartbreaking
It was so normal back in the day 😂. She wasn’t tryna hide it either it’s so funny and weird how Normal it was back in the day . Knowing she could smoke at work is crazy
I used to work at Trader Joe’s and my boss told me about how the checkout all used to have burn marks on them from employees placing their cigarettes down to bag the groceries (back in the day) 😂. Times have sure changed!
The psychologist was using collaborative problem solving! That's an excellent technique for oppositional and violent children. He was ahead of the time.
Wow, can you imagine a therapist being able to cuddle these days... I trained to be a counsellor for a couple years and that was one of the things I found regretful, that we couldn't even give an adult, some of whom sorely needed human touch, a (brief) hug of sorts. I understand why it's not possible but firmly believe that in some situations it would do a world of good.
Look how that little boys aggression melted once he got a hug and told he was loved .. the mother also recognised where she was going wrong and got the help she needed 👏🏾
Its not just a hug but a hug from a Man. He wants Real attention from his Father, not just the dismissive attention he gets by quickly getting his way.
@@deenad3562 Take your blinders off. This wasn't all about the boys father, in fact as a primary caregiver his relationship with his mother was likely more important at that moment.
One of the best templates for raising kids: If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn. If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight. If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy. If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty. If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient. If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence. If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate. If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice. If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith. If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself. If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.
Oh he’s so precious! Don’t scold a poor child for touching paint. Oh it’s so heartbreaking but it makes me so happy that there were so many wonderful, compassionate professionals doing their damned best to install skills in children and their parents to help resolve these conflicts and pains at home
We owned our own preschool for 45 years. Each child was given a warm hug when entering their classroom each morning. Hugs were always welcome throughout the day.
@@katrinaglanville3612at my kids' school they are absolutely allowed to comfort them. it's a small private school though. My oldest just started public school so I'm not sure of the difference yet. I'm sure they are allowed to offer some comfort. Maybe not physical (I'm not sure) but definitely with words.
are you in the UK? A friend of mine who ran a nursery for 40 years, told me recently how things used to be.They could kiss children's knees better, if they had a fall but not anymore! If a child needs a plaster put on, they have to phone a parent for permission!@@DSDaly
@@phillippereira6468He felt that the father got the show of warmth and affection , that he craved, She could show it to her husband, but not to her child.
I think this boy wil be a good man, he has to much energy doest know what to do with it. I see these children are sometimes agressieve but that comes that people and other children become always angry at such childeren till now you see they are most atta. by other children or adults who cant handle the way those children act. Then you see someone intelligent and nice comes and take time to talk in a smart way with them or love to play with them you see them become like a totally different child a happy and quit child . You see it when the dr hold him he is just happy and play like most childeren.
It dawned on me that the mom says the dad is European. This is 1960. Which means this precious little boy had one parent coping with the trauma of growing up during WWII. My husband's grandmother lived through the Battle of Berlin. My mother in law was raised in a very abusive, emotionally cold, distant, household. A traumatic household in its own way because of what her mother lived through and never got help for. I just imagine that must have played at least some significant role. Never underestimate generational trauma.
Well, that would be all of my great grandparents and grandparents. My grandmother was evacuated from London during the Blitz. My grandad was in the Royal Navy. They weren’t cold and horrible!
@@pommiebearsit depends on the people but generally speaking, times were insane and abuse pretty normalized, sadly. It's a whole generational trauma thing.
@@pommiebears I didn't speak for all of the survivors of WWII. My grandparents were in the USA, were well off in adulthood and my maternal grandmother had 6 kids that raised themselves essentially because her career and social life came first. She was just selfish, no trauma. Some people who go through actual warfare trauma might become emotionally stunted at the age they were damaged, thus having Children of their own... They're unable to connect to them in a mature, nurturing manner you'd expect from a stable adult.
@@philima Right! You didn't have the widespread understanding of trauma and abuse we have today. Your average person didn't get therapy. So trauma and abuse got passed on, sadly.
The change was tremendous and beautiful. The boy became a different person. In touch with his emotions, more calm.. it's just so moving. That's the power of love! 🙏
People are saying the mom is closed and cold. Buts she’s open and honest and she’s willing to participate in all of this. Such a good episode. I think she just didn’t know better.
Well, here's what's going on and it happens today, It's domestic violence, the father is beating the wife. The child is showing that the alligator is his father, he's showing how dad loves on mom but turns into a beast. The child wants love from the father ...the doctor is what the child wants because he affectionate, the mother is angry at the father and taking it out on the child because she sees the father in the boy.
@@SpicyGramCracker That child is going to grow up beating on his own wife. The father is not present in this scenario, where's the father?? He's absent. This is a good example of why children need a loving FATHER in the home. If we can recognize domestic violence, we can stop the cycle of it. BUT the cycle continues til this day.
@@eliza1826 you must not be very smart with child care. For a kid to not immediately assume everyone loves them, thats a huge red flag. If you told a happy child “i love you”, they would either feel awkward and want their parent or they would feel happy and believe it and know it to be true, because why would anyone NOT love them, a child? This boy was shocked to be loved without needing to work for it, or even know this man. He was surprised someone is kind and loving without needing the boy to do trials and acts any certain way to earn his love and kindness.
What a surprisingly sweet doctor for the time period, very well educated and gentle but mature approach with the child. Would've loved a doctor to talk to me the way he did, when I was the childs age.
There's always been sweet doctors that cared and knew what they were doin. (In all medical fields) Problem is they're the exception to the rule. And there has to be the luck of the people needing their particular style of caring and relating actually finding them.
When I was 11 years old, I was seeing a psychiatrist, had toys, there were other kids there also. I went through all kinds of hearing testing. I recall the doctor and staff all very nice and caring. This would have been about 1963. Of course, I only realized what was going on later in my teens after asking my mother about it. I wasn't an aggressive student as here, but I was acting out in class and under performing in spite having high scores on intelligence test for the time. Turns out it was due to my relationship with my father. He got involved and apparently all worked out for the better.
I feel like his mother deep down cares. I mean she agreed to seek help. That’s a start. I see her smiling as she was watching her son play. Parenting is not easy. I hope she got the help she and her son need. And hopefully her marriage as well.
I'd argue the evidence you give supports the idea of the mother caring about her appearance. When she was smiling, it looked like relief that the kid saw the parents as loving and showed people that. Did she care? I think so. Was she more selfish than caring? I can definitely see it being possible. Was she more focused on herself when she was under stress? After the kids description of the birds he painted, I'd say likely. Is there a second appearance of the blobfish? Yep 25:54
@@lemonstealinghorsdoeuvre Selfish or not selfish, self focused or self conscious, what matters is that the channel she has with the child works such as providing love, assertive communication, limits, etc.
The kid was so much calmer when being rocked and loved by the doctor...it was such a change! What the kid needed- positive, loving attention. It's what most people need!
The moment the therapist said he loved him, something magical happened: He started getting through to the child. The child began to listen and to learn. Amazing.
This mother was nauseating. I imagine the husband wasn't much better. A great example of how sensitive kids are turned into sociopaths by parents who use them to manifest their own issues and act out against each other. Ugh!!
She sounded British to me, if this is the case, her phrase "the child" could just be a typical sarcastic tone. It is entirely normal and comical in Britain when speaking to children, say when they're being cheeky but playful, to start referring to them as "child", replying to their taunts with phrases such as "listen here child". It's a sarcastic way of joking about how in the situation they may of gotten the psychological upper hand, with a witty comment or joke, but that by reverting to a luddite style of speaking in nouns rather than proper verbiage, I am as an adult congratulating them admitting they have gotten the upper hand and made me look a fool, but that if we strip away our civilised façade I am the older, bigger, stronger participant and can with authority overrule them, that their quick wit wont save them from the natural order, and that while they've done well to master their sarcasm, they should respect their elders when employing it. The same thought process is on display but in a more matured stage, when the younger would use the phrase "old man" when speaking to someone who is old age and past it, but has similarly taunted them with a sarcastic remark.
@Norah Fitzcharles I'm not "blaming" her for anything. Like all things in life, the back story is complex. I was merely making an observation. After all, she is the only person there. If I could observe the father, no doubt I'd be critical of him also.
He is a very intelligent little boy, he knows his father and mother do not get on. That his father beats his mother, and then she beats him. Child needs one percent discipline and 99 percent lovingkindness. To know he is loved . As a child he cant leave home, he has to put up with it, he knows no other way. He is a clever a little boy, he knows the problem is the parents.
There was a whole generation of kids who grew up without fathers/mothers, abusive and alcoholic parents, narcissistic parents and most of us were beat when we were disciplined! And guess what? The majority of us grew up just fine, raised families and busted our asses working for a living!
Just for clarification, he is not a psychologist. He is a psychiatrist. Psychologists get doctorates in the science of psychology to become therapists. Psychiatrists are physicians who go to medical school and then concentrate in the treatment of mental disorders through medication alongside therapy. This difference could also be why you're impressed with him, he has had much more extensive training than a psychologist.
The mother is the “problem”. How typical. Always blame women. WHERE is the father? HE is the problem the shrink can’t access, so blame the mother is the go to solution.
@@MathGPTWhich I think proves that person’s comment even further. Having a parent at home who is very little involved in their life as a child, can make children act out and do “bad” things for the attention of the parent neglecting them. Kids know doing something bad will always get a reaction and attention. It’s sad that some kids feel disconnected from a parent to turn to being violent and/or a bully.
The genuine and humane care this doctor has for the boy and to finding the real deeper issue through human interaction, love, affection, soft talking, understanding, is probably the my most genuine compassionate thing I have ever witnessed, he didnt need aderall or any other mind altering medication, but just basic human /mommy, daddy's love and affection and understanding beautifully done bravo ti the doctor i hooe the mother understood what needed to be done. Love cures all ❤
Referring to your own child as “This child” “the child” “a child” is heartbreaking. She has disassociated herself with him, most likely long before his misbehavior.
I had twin boys. One of them sometimes drove me crazy but we always had fun and he always felt loved. I don't think the Walk a Mile in Her Shoes fits in this instance. That being said, at that time children often got spanked and sent to bed without dinner. I was brought up that way but broke the cycle with my sons.
Yes I noticed the 'this child' 'the child etc. Putting a distance between her and her son who therefore became an object to be controlled rather than a son to be loved.
It was the 60s. Things were different. Parents were stricter and more detached. Good parenting back then was considered making sure your children were fed, clothed, and educated. A whole generation grew up like this.
@@matthews852 And you think parenting is better nowadays. It's easy to make generalisations, my parents weren't overly strict and I'm pretty sure none of my friends parents were either. The woman in this film came across as cold and it seemed from what she said her husband was much the same.
@@shamteal8614 It’s not a generalization. It’s based on a study conducted by California-Irvine, and the evolution of accepted discipline between the 1960s and today. Also the amount of time parents spend with their children has increased on average from 54 minutes a day in 1965, to 102 mins by 2012. I’m giving you facts. You gave us an anecdote about your friends.
I don’t think the mother asked for help voluntarily. I think she was ‘forced’ to accept any help, because otherwise Philipe would’ve been expelled from school. For sure she ‘s not the type who would be cheerful about that outcome. Home schooling Philipe or sending him to a special school would only made her feel more like a loser. My guess, she just had to take the advice of his teachers.
When the doctor asked “who do you think is the most important person to him?” I cried. Children really just want love from their most important person.
This ended with the mother and father are fighting all the time. Domestic violence. This 1960s family is involved in domestic violence and it's rubbing off on the children. This problem in 1960 is no different that now domestic violence and children in the middle
@@MD-gw4rkyup it’s DV mixed with ADHD. You can see the ticks he has all throughout the video. The PTSD is him trying to have control whenever something is overwhelming, especially if there’s shouting and yelling. Fight, flight or freeze happens when you are triggered while you have PTSD.
@@Krazycougar22 I don't think they are simulating that. It's domestic violence. Children that young are being taught at such an early age, as young as that child, to grow up beating thier own spouse. If parents showed love, affection, and disapline without screaming at your children, they will grow up healthy and happy. Set boundaries with your children. If they do wrong, correct them, but after you correct them, explain WHY they're doing wrong. Be consistent with your children. Parents NEED to stop trying to override each others type of disapline. Be consistent with them.
@@Krazycougar22 It's not hyper active disorder, the child is playing out his father's behavior by using the alligator as the beast represents his father's abusive nature. He acting up because he is seeing his mother get beat up ...she turns around and takes it out on the kid. he's weaker than the mother, so she will hit him too. Children are naturally hyper active. It's not a "disorder". I don't believe in hyperactive disorder. Children are hyper. They need stimuli, they need attention from the parents who raise them. Not drugged up and act like zombies.
@@Krazycougar22Another diagnostician rather than a rational analysis. Doping some kid up on drugs will ruin his life, you realize Ritalin is pretty much the same thing as methamphetamine right?
This therapist is so amazing, especially for the 60s. He's so sweet with "the child". The mother was just like my mother. No love, no affection, only screaming and abuse. I thought every family was like this 😢
Sorry to hear that you felt unloved. My folks were a bit like that too, no hugs ever. They were good parents in other ways but lacking in affection. Even now at 82 years old if try to hug them they tense up and get embarrassed. Grandparents were the same. I mean I knew they loved us kids, but they just never said it or showed it. I remember one day my Aunt (not a blood relative) hugged me for some reason. I kinda just froze and thought "this is weird" but maybe that was because I never really liked her that much. Anyway, I try to do better with my daughters because I realise now how important it is for kids to know they are loved.
I don’t know. I have to say the therapist kind of creeped me out. He kept invading the boy’s personal space and getting way too close. I think the boy probably suffered from ADHD.
I thought that's the way they spoke at the time. I actually thought the mother was a good mother for seeking help and taking advice so well. The therapist is brilliant, I wonder who he was.
A child just need love and respect on the basis, I got that with my brother, and it’s such a therapeutic experience go to that part of ourselves, our inner child, and realize that we need to heal something. A child is a master and a mirror, they show us that part of ourselves that we were never allowed to feel, the vulnerability, the touch, the love. so beautiful 💗
The therapist is very good. I don’t think the mother really enjoys being a mother which is at the root of his misbehavior. His misbehavior functions as a way to keep his mother involved with him.
Mother is focused on herself: "there's something that makes you feel like a failure." Bad behavior may be an attempt to get mother to focus on the child.
@@shelleyoxenhorn833 well, if it were the only "project" in your life and it failed, you would feel similar as her. and if on top of that she had inferiority complex, than it makes even more sense.
@@shelleyoxenhorn833 I know it's easy to look down upon her but has anything changed today? Mothers are still under enormous pressure and I know a lot of them who routinely ask themselves those self-centered questions of "Do people think I'm a bad mother and a failure?" despite having their kids best interest at heart. It's hard to shun other people's opinions when it comes to emotionally loaded topics of family and raising children.
This doctor is so kind and affectionate; so gentle with this angry little boy. This was so touching. It’s clear Phillip is missing out on basic affection and gentle loving and tender care. So sad!
@@michaelfornell4467 Did you miss the entire point of the video?? The child was missing affection so he addressed that issue perfectly and helped him. I hope you don't have any children because they will turn out just like Philippe. A man showing affection to a child is perverted??? You're an imbecile.
@@michaelfornell4467why is hugging and holding a young child inherently sexual? He didn’t have a healthy experience of parental love, so it seems like the psych was trying to show by example what love feels like. children NEED to be held and loved for neurological development.
Please don’t make sexual jokes or advances or swear God wouldn’t like that and there are children here May God bless you and your family and help you Give your life to Jesus Christ and repent. I pray that God will lead on the path to Jesus Christ and send the Holy Spirit to be your helper. I pray this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ I pray Amen! Jesus Christ loves you. Give your life to Jesus Christ and ask for forgiveness for ALL OF YOUR SINS. Even the ones committed in the past and repent. He’s coming soon. Please pray and repent. GOD IS ALPHA AND OMEGA!!! THE BEGINNING AND THE END!!! GOD SENT HIS SON DOWN TO DIE ON THE CROSS FOR OUR SINS. PLEASE GIVE YOUR LIFE TO HIM!!! PRAY AND REPENT AND GOD IS COMING!!!!!! THERE IS NO TIME. FELLOW CHRISTIANS GOD WILL BE COMING DON’T LOSE FAITH!!! PLEASE!! PRAY FOR STRENGTH AND DON’T DOUBT HIM!!! Romans 10:9 “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.” Romans 10:10 “For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” 2 Peter 3:1-18 “1 This second epistle, beloved, I now write unto you; in both which I stir up your pure minds by way of remembrance: 2 That ye may be mindful of the words which were spoken before by the holy prophets, and of the commandment of us the apostles of the Lord and Saviour: 3 Knowing this first, that there shall come in the last days scoffers, walking after their own lusts, 4 And saying, Where is the promise of his coming? for since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation. 5 For this they willingly are ignorant of, that by the word of God the heavens were of old, and the earth standing out of the water and in the water: 6 Whereby the world that then was, being overflowed with water, perished: 7 But the heavens and the earth, which are now, by the same word are kept in store, reserved unto fire against the day of judgment and perdition of ungodly men. 8 But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. 9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. 10 But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up. 11 Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness, 12 Looking for and hasting unto the coming of the day of God, wherein the heavens being on fire shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat? 13 Nevertheless we, according to his promise, look for new heavens and a new earth, wherein dwelleth righteousness. 14 Wherefore, beloved, seeing that ye look for such things, be diligent that ye may be found of him in peace, without spot, and blameless. 15 And account that the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation; even as our beloved brother Paul also according to the wisdom given unto him hath written unto you; 16 As also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things; in which are some things hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as they do also the other scriptures, unto their own destruction. 17 Ye therefore, beloved, seeing ye know these things before, beware lest ye also, being led away with the error of the wicked, fall from your own stedfastness. 18 But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.” concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. 10 But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up. 11 Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness, 12 Looking for and hasting unto the coming of the day of God, wherein the heavens being on fire shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat? 13 Nevertheless we, according to his promise, look for new heavens and a new earth, wherein dwelleth righteousness. 14 Wherefore, beloved, seeing that ye look for such things, be diligent that ye may be found of him in peace, without spot, and blameless. 15 And account that the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation; even as our beloved brother Paul also according to the wisdom given unto him hath written unto you; 16 As also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things; in which are some things hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as they do also the other scriptures, unto their own destruction. 17 Ye therefore, beloved, seeing ye know these things before, beware lest ye also, being led away with the error of the wicked, fall from your own stedfastness. GOD JESUS CHRIST AND THE HY SPIRIT IS ALPHA AND OMEGA!! 18 But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.” GOD, JESUS CHRIST, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT IS ALPHA AND OMEGA.l
I must say the doctor did a great job in opening Phillip’s window to his soul. As I observed the video, Phillips first seemed to be evasive and protective of his territory, then as the doctor gave him more comforts, Philips started to open his tenderness and show his playful side. Turned out, Philip just wanted to be understood gently as a kid, just a kid. His parents and the doctor took different approaches and it seemed to me Philips preferred to doctor’s approach to make him listen and pay attention to people. Damn… I feel I was looking back at my childhood time. Wish I had someone I trusted said he believed in me when I was a kid, because now I grew up with low self esteem.
The doctor almost seems like a time-traveler, he's so wise and empathetic for the time. Obviously not everyone from that time were cold or backwards thinking, but it's kind of striking to see in an informative video like this.
I know right?! Most doctors would’ve immediately put that boy in a psyche hospital and have him take a handful of meds to put him in a zombie state. Just like JFK’s sister Rosemary who was put away and had a lobotomy done
I really don't think most therapists, pychiatrist, etc. were all that different. I believe it is most people now who have a warped view of history. This is because what we hear about the practices of the past are mostly accounts of extreme cases. Granted there were some widespread issues, especially with institutiinalization; however, working in the mental health field for the last 15 years, I am not convinced that the current practices are substantial improvements. Many continue to be institutionalized, it has just taken a different form, one with broader implications and harm to communities. I am not advocating going back, mind you, just that the field has not made the progress many seem to believe it has.
@@TheJohmac my fathers youngest brother was “put away” in a psychiatric hospital because he was out of control. My fathers family didn’t want to be “associated” with him or have others know that their son was mentally ill. He was in there in the mid 1960’s. They were well known in their community and couldn’t have a child who was “different” and rarely ever visited him. I met him once when I was about 5 years old and remember seeing him sitting in a chair just staring at the wall. My father tried talking to him and he wouldn’t respond. The visit was maybe 5 to 10 minutes until my father said, “Let’s go, I don’t know why I even bothered to see him anyways.” I was confused what was going on and asked my father if, “ everything was okay?” He said, “Yes, everything is fine, don’t worry, we won’t ever come here again.” I couldn’t ask him who that man was until many years later because he would get so upset every time I would bring it up. I never saw him again and learned that he died in there a few years later. It has always bothered me how my grandparents just got rid of him because they didn’t want to be embarrassed.
This poor kid lit up like a Christmas tree when the doctor said he loved him, and the lad even asked joyfully, “You love me?!” I think this poor kid didn’t feel loved by his parents, and when he rationalized why not, he obviously told himself it was because a bad kid and decided he was on his own.
Yeah, when he later says his mum would hit him when he feels bad for her after her husband hit her explains a lot. He was on his own, anything he did he must have been afraid he will be abused for.
@@moos5221Lol My parents were exactly the same in the 2000s (father beats mother -> mother beats children). I don't think lil dude was afraid to be abused but probs was always told he's bad so it becomes like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Why even try when no one recognizes the little positive things anyways?
I just love that little boy's therapist. He is so sensitive, and so helpful for this child. I do hope that these sessions help him so as he grows, he is able to leave this behind.
@@dawndoliber2663 Running cell block D and has all his bitches in a row so he can punch them for getting ink on their hands, mind you his cell block is the cleanest in the whole prison system.
Beautiful but emotionally repressed woman, with an emotionally distant husband. The child wasn't loved because the parents had not been loved themselves. All of them needed help.
You just described African parents
@@belle3055 lol yes! 💯
Some Hispanic aswell
Well said.
Why do you have to say the women was beautiful or not?
The boy was so preoccupied with his toys, while the doctor spoke to him. But when the boy heard the words... "love you", he stopped what he was doing, looked the doctor in the eyes and asked "you love me?".... this poor kid probably never heard anyone say that to him, his whole life. Now we see the root cause of his aggressive behavior.
It’s called fidgeting. Some of us need to have busy hands to focus when someone talks. He was actually paying attention the whole time.
The way his face lit up with the affirmation of love 😭😭😭
He was listening the whole time
His mother referred to him as 'the child'. Very impersonal. I was a child in the 50's/60's and had a very kind & caring mother. We were working class so didn't have much in the way of possessions. Love is free. Myself & most of my close friends were not disciplined in a physical way so had a good childhood. School however showed us a different side to life. Corporal punishment was prevalent. Watching 'rude' children being struck with a leather belt did not help them or those of us that had to watch. The usual recipients ended up getting in trouble with the police or dying young due to taking drugs. A long time ago now but never forgotten. Violence can begat violence. At least it did in our school 😢
@@msch7620Correct, he paid attention the whole time, but it seemed as though he wasn’t, especially when juxtaposed against his reaction to those magical words.
this doctor is amazing. he understood right away the real problem is his parents.
That's because 99.9% of the time, when a little kids behaves poorly, it's due to inconsistent parenting & poor boundary setting.
He is/was an angel on earth.
Maybe he discovered how messed up the world is early in life.
Unfortunately, he would be imprisoned our days. He has touched the child!!111!!! Oh, God11!!
This poor baby was starving for love and affection.
So if I broke your nose punching you in the face you would think I'm just looking for love and affection? Sometimes I know it's hard for most people to grasp but people give into the monster that is human nature rather than fight it... Even in loving environments this can happen and has
Did u watch the video? Obviously every case is different and what u said is a possibility, but we just watched a 30 minute case study on this child. How can u compare that to ur dumbass walking up and punching someone and argue that anyone would call them similar situations??
@@ThecouncilOf8yes but only if you were in your development years .
@@ThecouncilOf8you told the truth but this is only revealed in adolescence, when puberty arrives that shows that love and affection were in vain
She doesn't realize she is the issue.
Teacher sitting there with a smoke. Times have changed.
omg...it's almost a culture shock to see. lol
Yes, it really brought me back to when I'd visit the HS where my mom taught History and Government. I'd sit like a nice, grownup little lady pretending not to mind the teachers' smoke.
I caught that immediately
She looks like she's had a fkin hard life
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The way the child looked at the doctor and said "you love me?!" damn near broke my heart.
Right. The mom was a little distant looking. Never know what happens in private...image doesn't equate to reality all of the time.
That's because he's not getting the love at home just an opinion course I'm in the middle of this will see what they say
what's the timestamp?
@@__enarkive3:17
After 3:10
Notice the doctor didn’t prescribe him with medication. He simply had loving, human interaction with him.
I wasn’t born in the 60’s or anything, but I have a feeling they likely couldn’t since he was a little boy and the medication wasn’t as.. advanced? Unsure, really
@@StinkyWetRat505either way love is a more effective form of medication.
This one’s rocky, sure the whole throwing opioids at mental instabilities only works on some occassions, the power of love can only go but so far for suffering individuals
Yeah the kid definitely needed support from his parents.
@@crystalyn2855Nah, I’ll keep my drugs thanks. 😂
boy must be near 70 now, wish we could hear an interview of how his life turned out, memories,if he noticed mom/dad trying.
I ask God to help me as a parent, He always comes through for me.
Why hasn't anyone made a profit off that yet ? Someone could make alot of money doing that !
3:19, when he asks “ you love me?” to the doc…..that’s a very telling moment
Damn, if the child would be an adult asking that, the adult would scream it out.
What a heartbreaking silent scream for affection and (parent) love.
I came here to make that exact comment.
Yes. Absolutely, that’s the core /cause of his bad behavior.
A child that fails to feel the warmth of his village, will burn it down just to feel it’s warmth.
I'm probably stepping on a landmine by asking this, but what is Telling about the lad?
Aww, how the child's face lit up when the doctor said he loved him. ❤
I caught that to..That is a telling sign that he doesn't hear that said to him very much I thnk.
The problem right there .. doesn’t feel loved by either parent, acts out negatively to get attention .. poor love ❤
And suddenly there was extended eye contact too...he searched the Dr's face to see if he really meant it!
❤
Another thing is he is receiving punishments. And physical punishments at that but then the poor boy is being rough to others
Ngl, Doctor seems pretty awesome. I tend to look back on mental health and behavioral practices from that time period with a bit of horror. But I was pleasantly surprised by this interaction.
Seen The Madman and the Professor? (Just for the odd kind doctor in a 19th century asylum that are usually portrayed as inhumane...). Decency is decency, throughout time
@@briancolwill3071 Sounds interesting. Thanks for the recommendation, sounds right up my alley
@@sarahg2653 oops. I'm back to front. It's the Professor and the Madman. Dunno where you're at with Mel Gibson but I think he's a good actor despite personal difficulties... Creative arts are full of people with problems, sometimes it's tricky. Like, I loathe Polanski personally but I can't boycott his films!
Rotten Tomatoes slayed Professor and the Madman but I found lots to like in it, plenty indeed....
Me too
@@sarahg2653 I set you wrong, it's the Professor and the Madman, but I bet ya got it
Heartbreaking to hear the parents would punish him for feeling sad, when he is only feeling sad because the parents are fighting
Everyone is placing blame on Mom, but Dad didn’t agree to seek help!
So sad and typical, when it takes a village…
He didn't want to be in the film, you can't know he didn't go privately after
@@lemonstealinghorsdoeuvre they are mentioning this cause this happens a lot in real life as well..a lot of the blame of emotional education is placed on the mother..not always just I see it happen a lot
Yeah - she was consistently beating the child.
"lEtS sOmeHow blAMe tHe mAle !"
Wow Anita, just wow.
@@audas she doesn't suggest blaming the father for anything. Your personal bias came up with that. All she said is there is only one part of the story visible and that everyone tends to be blaming the extremely attractive mom, and for all we know the father could be far worse of an influence. All we know is that the kid is annoying, the mom is hot, and you are easily triggered. Anita applied thought, you applied prejudice.
I'm a step dad to a boy that has aggressive tendencies at school. This video has opened my eyes to many things I didn't know. His dad wasn't there. He craves male companionship so much. But he also needs male kindness and love.
Being a parent is hard, being a step parent is harder. Blessings to you and upon your journey as you try to heal that which you did not hurt and in breaking those cycles.
@@NiteOwlish thank you so much!!! We've definitely made a lot of progress. I've definitely noticed that being tender with him and very soft spoken has helped. Him seeing a big man be sweet and kind is not something he is used to. It's opening his eyes to how he can be too if he tries.
I was a step mother to a boy like this. Nothing I said or did made a change. My ex expected me to change the boy. I had a 3 year old,this kid was 6. Never had any consistency in his life. He was aggressive with my child. Yet the boys father never spent time with him or showed genuine affection. It was a living hell.
@@janetsides901 spending time with them and showing genuine affection is the key. I'm sorry that you had to live through this. The task of raising a young boy should have been more on him (the dad) than anything. I'm sorry if this sounds wrong, but it's a man's job to teach his son (or step son) how to be a man.
Have you considered introducing him to martial arts?
Doctor is teaching the mother that her son needs more physical touch and closeness that all children need.
This sweet boy. He is so obviously neurodiverse, there’s nothing wrong with him other than a lack of love and acceptance. And this doctor, my God, what an extraordinary physician. A doctor with this wisdom and innate understanding during this time period was so rare, what a fantastic person living his Hippocratic oath. I am so grateful that in our modern age we have a better understanding of this. This doctor’s approach is the common and accepted approach.
how does lack of love and acceptance cause neurodivergence? Or are you speculating?
His mother seems very cold and detached. When the boy's face lit up and he said "You love me?" You can tell he doesn't hear that word very often.
111%
She probably is tired of dealing with him . Remember depression is real
@@ginavv2092 its more likely that he is like that because she is like that and not the other way around
You cant blame her. The child is psychopath!
My thoughts exactly. He wants to be loved. Gentleness goes a long way.
He needs patience, and hugs.
"They punish me for feeling sad for them" 😢 wow such a deep emotional understanding
Heartbreaking 😢💔😢
When a child gets labeled as “trouble” how he is treated by adults changes. He’s “trouble” and it follows him everywhere. Sad because children need LOVE. Love cures a lot! ❤❤
It’s the labeling!!!!
My mum was very emotionally cold and everything was about her......I remember as a child a babysitter hugged me and showed me the first bit of affection I had ever experienced. I remember my sadness and how I clung to her when she had to leave. It made me realise what affection was. I remember the pain of her leaving was all consuming!
Your mom might have had the same experience from her parents. Sometimes we need to learn to forgive and forget
@@derinok9833 I'm not like that with my children though....you can change the pattern so if I can change why can't she?
I was married to a man like that. He worked two jobs to avoid the difficult job of raising our kids, and was highly critical, of the limits I set. He often let the kids out of punishments and the limits I set. I tried many years and once the kids were grown (which definitely felt like a prison term), I divorced him. My second husband was the exact opposite of my first husband! I was a full time step mum to two of his four kids. This experience was so enjoyable, I almost hated to see them grow up. So, I learned then, it wasn’t totally “me”, it was the lack of “us” that was the problem. Sadly, the people we love, sometimes ARE NOT the people we should have kids with. 😞
Yes . We’ll put . Mine was very course towards me . And I’d beg her to not go to work but I know she had to . I lived with her but I didn’t see her much . I stay with my grandparents a lot . And I love them all to this day but I strive to be more like my Nana . She was a sweet soul and made sure we had grocerys . She was my fathers mom . He was in prison his whole life so she and my granddaddy tried to make up for his absence . My father was adopted . And I’m so thankful he was ♥️
Me too. I didn't know how to act on rare occasions when anyone showed any affection..i was NEVER hugged or told i love u! Never heard my mother say it & when i told my dad once that i loved him his response was.."i know" ! 😂😅😂! Unbelievable! No hugging, or ur amazing, talented, pretty (&i was very pretty once i hit about 17) nothing at all to validate me as a worthy human being..needless to say i had a lot of problems growing up..
That was very telling when he was worried about getting paint on his hands and said “uh oh, I’m afraid, cause mommy’s gonna give me a hit”. then right after he says “the mother is going after the baby, she’s gonna spank the baby” then says “the father is going to spank the mother, then the mother is going to spank the baby”. A cold household where everyone tries to impose their dominance over the weaker members. No wonder the boy is aggressive. He has to be when the whole family dynamic is based on a power struggle. The weak get spanked. Then submits to the aggressor. That’s how you get what you want. The poor boy didn’t invent that. He learned it from his empathetically bankrupt parents.
No doubt the parents were raised by emotionally bankrupt parents themselves, just as their parents before them. It’s an abusive cycle.
No wonder why the little boy had so much aggression because he was shown that by his mother. Alongside no love and healthy attention
Families often used corporal punishment it was much more common than today. Getting that child help for his behavior probably saved that kid.
@@seeker8097 Yes....
Oh as we live, we learn.
Or supposed to anyway.
My parents were never parented. But they did a decent job considering.
I have found so much compassion for people now.
What a compassionate therapist.
This was me. I was very similar to Phillip. My parents didn't change, however. I found the love I needed from other caretakers. Babysitters, tutors, teachers, psychiatrists. I knew that I couldn't be all bad if at least some people who knew me well loved me.
Her indifference to her child is palatable. I can see why he is starved for affection, affirmation, and encouragement. She might love him, but she doesn't like him very much and it shows.
Amen and he knows it
Let's talk about Kevin.
I wouldnt agrree. Maybe she doesnt know how to show emotions because nobody showed her. She was unloved or not enough loved. Without having a role model its difficult to act properly.
She was being flexible about taking some responsibility for his behavior though. Most people can’t do that nowadays.
That's not indifference. Indifference is not caring one way or another. She cares, but was ignorant on discipline and didn't know how to show affection..if she was indifferent, she wouldn't have bothered talking to the doctor
I had a little boy at my school, who was overly aggressive and I told him since he was so much bigger he was like one of the teachers, and told him instead of hitting someone, to come to me, and tell me what was going on, and we could come up with ideas on how things could be better. It worked. Also he never wanted to clean up the class, so I would ask him where things went and he helped me put things away.
Nicely done, nicely done.
Great tip!
Brilliant, thank goodness for natural and intelligent teachers like you 😢
Brilliant!
Using brainwashing methods is evil.
I have always said “ many parents are the worst bullies to their own kids” it leaves so many emotional scars that many times take a life of healing 😟
Not everyone gets healed!
And sometimes it doesn't go healed
And, for many, it's a healing that never comes.
🤒💯🤕
So true! I've spent a boatload of money on therapy to try to undo my childhood. It's been money well spent. My parents were the worst bullies. I wouldn't treat an enemy the way they treated me and my sisters. Horrific things went on behind closed doors. It is stopping with me, though. The generational trauma ends here.
Too bad I'm too scarred to want children 😂 🙃.
Discipline without a loving relationship is damaging emotionally.
Also, I love how the principal is smoking a cigarette in her office at the preschool. 🤦♀️
Lol
A fine, patient Doctor, sure to have helped a lot of people in his career.
Man… I just love how people spoke back then.
Wonder if it will ever come back
The Trans Atlantic accent
@@12484uespicysvideo you've read my mind.
Yeah me too and i still dont know what it is, maybe its because it sounds natural
@@12484uespicysvideo I hope man
It broke my heart how quickly the boy calmed down when the therapist hugged him…. All he needed was empathy, kindness and patience but his parents and even teachers failed him :(
When he looked at the doctor with excitement and " You love me!?"
Yes
Which annoys me because the mother towards the beginning said "" He has everything he wants and needs "" its a Shame some parents fail to see the very thing the child needs is love, attention, kindness, empathy etc. She sometimes refers to the child as "" IT"" 🥺 hurt adults going on to have hurt children
Yes. They did.
@@robinluich6626 glad you saw that too. How fast he looked at the doctor and asked “you love me?” So hungry for love.
"So the 6-year-old boy is the man of the house? He gets mostly what he wants."
"Mostly, that's right."
"Well, that sounds like a lot of responsibility for a child."
My wife and I dropped our jaws. What an interesting perspective. Mom is clearly at her wits end trying to do right by everyone, and mostly succeeding, but I don't think she or dad were ever equipped with the tools to fulfill a child's emotional needs. She's a great mom - doing her utmost with what she CAN know at the time, even bringing her young child to get help.
Everything he wants but little of what he needs. 🥲
I dropped my jaw as well. Such a brilliant way to make the mum open her heart towards Philip
that's a recipe for disaster. The 'child' should always understand their parents are the ones who make decisions in the home. A child without boundaries will become a miserable child and adult.
A friend of mine who used to live next door didn't set boundaries with her son, and he had major problems. To be fair, she grew up in an absolutely horrible household, and was trying to be a cycle breaker. But she wasn't doing it quite right. Her son ran the show. Just an example: she was going to take me out to dinner for my birthday, but he didn't like where we were going, so he got to pick the restaurant instead of me. A 5-year-old made the choice of where we were eating for my birthday. I wasn't mad or anything...more just aghast. They moved several years ago, and I know he wound up in therapy, so I hope he's doing much better.
@@fl0nk11 thank you for telling this story. I am always shocked when parents are giving their children adult decisions to make. I knew a child who was allowed to pick their sibling's middle name! Not from a list of names, just from whatever words they could come up with in their head. I don't get it.
I would love to see Phillip now…. Interesting what kind of adult he had grown into
Hi that's what I was thinking
She never refers to him by his first name. It's always this child or the child. Speaks volumes.
My mother is an early childhood teacher. In behavioural reports that go to parents I’ve seen that they use Initials or ‘the other child’ or ‘Other’ for safety reasons - protecting that child from identification by strangers - an example was a choking incident like the video, the mother of the choked child was extremely protective and threatened to sue (can’t sue in New Zealand) the parents of the child when they found out who they were. To avoid the whole mess and others like it, my mother used fake initials, ZT, to which the mother was looking on the birthday wall for the initials. Her plan apparently was to find the child, wait with them, and threaten the parents. Nut jobs are why nut rules are in nut place.
@@geminiwriter8875 this child's name is all over the video. But it's the mother who never uses it.
@@kathyhayevsky4703 this is the 1960s, I was giving you a modern option and showing parents went from undercaring to overbearing.
@@geminiwriter8875 Yup Licensed k-12/special ed teacher k- 8 over here. Written a fair share of IEP's. Parenting/environment is huge on the development of a child....fu**ing obviously...but, neurology/brain structure is a large part of "dysfunction"/(abnormalities as well), too.
Pardon poor grammar, as I am talking to text on the go..., obviously.
I will say that in homacidal cases especially, when the *past tense* is used/not the names etc, that is a red flag for sure, as mentioned.
@@natalie9884 well, the kid its aggro because his mother beat the sht up of him everytime he behaves like a child, he is just mimicking his own experience
“The CHILD.” “The CHILD.” “The CHILD.” “The CHILD.”
You gave THE CHILD a name, MOMMY.
Evidence of emotional distance
She's highly stressed and in an unfamiliar situation - and this is also a much different time to the one we live in.
The child is better
Thats what they called them in those days
I was the child until i was 4 and they knew i was gonna be around a while
I honestly got choked up when when Filipe wanted to share the game he had been roleplaying with the therapist - he wanted his mother to see him and share that with her. He wants her approval, he isn’t embarrassed. Having the therapist discussing that they’re playing Husband and Wife game with lots of Kisses and there is No Arguing. It was honestly really beautiful and profound and it moves me almost to tears how he’s helping and connecting with this boy who needs the support of the adults around him
@ 3:18 "You love me?" That innocent little face...my heart absolutely sank 🥺💔
It's obvious that what he's lacking is affection, and protection. Wrap your arms lovingly around your children, they are the most precious jewels you will ever have.
This therapist was probably the best dad ever. When he rocked the boy in his arms my heart melted. 🥹
The Doctor turnt out to be a child 💀 PREDATOR
Proof?
@@RikkiTheFool did he?..how do you know that?
@@loonylinda Ignore that clown
I have worked in early childhood education for 40 years and the look on a child’s face at 4 years old when you say you are a clever kind ,good boy is priceless. It like they have never heard these words before heartbreaking
This Dr. way ahead of his time. He understood more than most of his time. He was compassionate and wasn't harsh with the little boy here.
He understands more than those now
That's the normal way to be
@@coppersulphate002 not then it wasnt
Sitting in her Kindergarten class with a smoke in hand......Classic😂
It was so normal back in the day 😂. She wasn’t tryna hide it either it’s so funny and weird how Normal it was back in the day . Knowing she could smoke at work is crazy
I used to work at Trader Joe’s and my boss told me about how the checkout all used to have burn marks on them from employees placing their cigarettes down to bag the groceries (back in the day) 😂. Times have sure changed!
Oh yes, vaping is so much more healthy & lovely.
@@stephenpmurphy591 Vaping wouldn't be allowed in Kindergarten either.
@@stephenpmurphy591не курите всякую дрянь.
Hurt people, hurt people. He knows his mum & dad love him and they beat him (the mum's words) so he shows affection to other children in the same way.
I recognize the chilly aloof mom...just like mine, and so hard to heal from. I'm 62 and still scarred
She looks hurt and desperate to me.
The psychologist was using collaborative problem solving! That's an excellent technique for oppositional and violent children. He was ahead of the time.
I dont think he was ahead of the times, these types of treatments have been coming on way longer than we realise.
I thought he was brilliant - a natural at it.
@@Beckysinlondon Yea I think so too.
That is an excellent technique for about anything one can think of.
What does collaborative problem solving mean?
Wow, can you imagine a therapist being able to cuddle these days... I trained to be a counsellor for a couple years and that was one of the things I found regretful, that we couldn't even give an adult, some of whom sorely needed human touch, a (brief) hug of sorts. I understand why it's not possible but firmly believe that in some situations it would do a world of good.
do you mean "these days" as in because of Covid? :0 cause if not I surely hope there isnt a rule against hugs for therapists
@@DrFeelGoood no, I mean therapists/ counsellors are not allowed to touch the client in any way covid or not (UK)
@@meelodeshmeeelo2034 this is so sad to hear, that brief hug embrace can change someones week
@@astridparanormalscotland7434 A therapist is trying to get the patient/client to THINK.
True it is sad but nowadays you can be charged with molestation etc.
To the father, his wife is his own mother, and he's vicariously punishing her for lack of attention and love. Deeply disturbing on multiple levels
It's always the parents. Not everyone is meant to be parents.
"Daddy hits the mummy, and then mummy hits the baby"... Ouch, my heart! 💔
😥 yes
@marilyncantrell4954, and then the baby grows up, and the cycle repeats itself.😮
PAIN
Look how that little boys aggression melted once he got a hug and told he was loved .. the mother also recognised where she was going wrong and got the help she needed 👏🏾
Its not just a hug but a hug from a Man. He wants Real attention from his Father, not just the dismissive attention he gets by quickly getting his way.
@@deenad3562 Take your blinders off. This wasn't all about the boys father, in fact as a primary caregiver his relationship with his mother was likely more important at that moment.
@@delishme2Nobody said it was ALL ABOUT THE FATHER. SMH
@@theresawolford9000 Are you mentally challenged ? Read the comment above mine. 🙄
And sedation lol...
Phillip completely changed when the doctor started holding him. He just wanted to be loved like the sweet baby he is
“You love me?”
The way he responded with the word “love”, he responded like he doesn’t hear it often…
His face when he said, "you love me?" OMG 😮😥😥😥🙏🙏
The lightning moment
If I was that therapist I would have taken him home immediately 🥺
I just want to give him a big hug.
I struck seeing his action. He wanted to be loved.
Where is this part
One of the best templates for raising kids:
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns
confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he
learns to find love in the world.
Agree.
If I had to bet on who has that brat figured, I would bet on you! How did this 1960's story end? Serial killer?
Needs to lose a fight... that's all. This is normal boy behavior to an extent.
What’s the difference between ridicule and shame?
This is all common knowledge but everyone is different. This isnt accurate all the time.
I am going TO CRY .....AFTER THE DOCTOR SAID HE LOVED HIM ......THE EYE CONTACT .....
Oh he’s so precious! Don’t scold a poor child for touching paint. Oh it’s so heartbreaking but it makes me so happy that there were so many wonderful, compassionate professionals doing their damned best to install skills in children and their parents to help resolve these conflicts and pains at home
We owned our own preschool for 45 years. Each child was given a warm hug when entering their classroom each morning. Hugs were always welcome throughout the day.
that sounds so lovely! You aren't even allowed to comfort a hurt child today - it is heartbreaking.
why on earth wouldnt you be allowed to comfort a hurt child today?@@katrinaglanville3612
@@katrinaglanville3612at my kids' school they are absolutely allowed to comfort them. it's a small private school though. My oldest just started public school so I'm not sure of the difference yet. I'm sure they are allowed to offer some comfort. Maybe not physical (I'm not sure) but definitely with words.
Today the child enters, the teachers not even greeting.
are you in the UK? A friend of mine who ran a nursery for 40 years, told me recently how things used to be.They could kiss children's knees better, if they had a fall
but not anymore! If a child needs a plaster put on, they have to phone a parent for permission!@@DSDaly
When the doctor held him, and was rocking him. Philip was so happy and content. He was feeling love and compassion. Honestly so touching.
he really did calm down after that.
Yup.. The parent was the problem
@@phillippereira6468He felt that the father got the show of warmth and affection , that he craved, She could show it to her husband, but not to her child.
I think this boy wil be a good man, he has to much energy doest know what to do with it. I see these children are sometimes agressieve but that comes that people and other children become always angry at such childeren till now you see they are most atta. by other children or adults who cant handle the way those children act. Then you see someone intelligent and nice comes and take time to talk in a smart way with them or love to play with them you see them become like a totally different child a happy and quit child . You see it when the dr hold him he is just happy and play like most childeren.
Thank you for spelling Philip correctly!
He has everything a child would want. Oh 😮 does he have love, affection, and compassion? Where ?
This is the kind of psychiatrist we need today. Not one, to quickly push meds, to be understood.
You can tell the Mother was raised in a very strict family, poor woman is lost. I’m happy to hear her admit that what she’s doing doesn’t work.
The type of woman that shouldn't have reproduced, but at least her offspring was used as a lab rat so that we could acquire knowledge
You can tell she's a single mother.
@@faustopacheco120 she isn't single mother, it's common situation where parent don't know how to raise a child becauce they are busy
@@gamesahsv862true. Even they lie to itself...
She seems like a stereotypical WASP
It dawned on me that the mom says the dad is European. This is 1960. Which means this precious little boy had one parent coping with the trauma of growing up during WWII. My husband's grandmother lived through the Battle of Berlin. My mother in law was raised in a very abusive, emotionally cold, distant, household. A traumatic household in its own way because of what her mother lived through and never got help for. I just imagine that must have played at least some significant role. Never underestimate generational trauma.
Well, that would be all of my great grandparents and grandparents. My grandmother was evacuated from London during the Blitz. My grandad was in the Royal Navy. They weren’t cold and horrible!
@@pommiebearsit depends on the people but generally speaking, times were insane and abuse pretty normalized, sadly. It's a whole generational trauma thing.
Philima, I tend to consider it depended on the family. Different families , different stories.
@@pommiebears I didn't speak for all of the survivors of WWII. My grandparents were in the USA, were well off in adulthood and my maternal grandmother had 6 kids that raised themselves essentially because her career and social life came first. She was just selfish, no trauma.
Some people who go through actual warfare trauma might become emotionally stunted at the age they were damaged, thus having Children of their own... They're unable to connect to them in a mature, nurturing manner you'd expect from a stable adult.
@@philima Right! You didn't have the widespread understanding of trauma and abuse we have today. Your average person didn't get therapy. So trauma and abuse got passed on, sadly.
The change was tremendous and beautiful. The boy became a different person. In touch with his emotions, more calm.. it's just so moving. That's the power of love! 🙏
People are saying the mom is closed and cold. Buts she’s open and honest and she’s willing to participate in all of this. Such a good episode. I think she just didn’t know better.
That's a really good way of seeing things and I'm glad you pointed this out.
I agree, she was trying and trying to learn to correct behaviors. Not one sign of the dad trying here.
Well, here's what's going on and it happens today,
It's domestic violence, the father is beating the wife. The child is showing that the alligator is his father, he's showing how dad loves on mom but turns into a beast. The child wants love from the father ...the doctor is what the child wants because he affectionate, the mother is angry at the father and taking it out on the child because she sees the father in the boy.
She’s very vulnerable. And clearly never felt safe herself as a child.
@@SpicyGramCracker
That child is going to grow up beating on his own wife. The father is not present in this scenario, where's the father?? He's absent.
This is a good example of why children need a loving FATHER in the home. If we can recognize domestic violence, we can stop the cycle of it. BUT the cycle continues til this day.
"You LOVE me!?"
These 3 words said all you need to know.
😢
sad, but true.
I don’t get it, kids say cute/playful stuff like that all the time, you weirdos are digging to deep in that comment, maybe because of projection
@@eliza1826 you must not be very smart with child care. For a kid to not immediately assume everyone loves them, thats a huge red flag.
If you told a happy child “i love you”, they would either feel awkward and want their parent or they would feel happy and believe it and know it to be true, because why would anyone NOT love them, a child?
This boy was shocked to be loved without needing to work for it, or even know this man. He was surprised someone is kind and loving without needing the boy to do trials and acts any certain way to earn his love and kindness.
The way he started paying attention to the doctor the moment he said he loved him 💔
What a surprisingly sweet doctor for the time period, very well educated and gentle but mature approach with the child. Would've loved a doctor to talk to me the way he did, when I was the childs age.
That's some solid training and understanding of psychoanalysis and relational therapy ❤
There's always been sweet doctors that cared and knew what they were doin. (In all medical fields) Problem is they're the exception to the rule. And there has to be the luck of the people needing their particular style of caring and relating actually finding them.
He almost seems like a time-traveler, he's so wise and empathetic.
When I was 11 years old, I was seeing a psychiatrist, had toys, there were other kids there also. I went through all kinds of hearing testing. I recall the doctor and staff all very nice and caring. This would have been about 1963. Of course, I only realized what was going on later in my teens after asking my mother about it. I wasn't an aggressive student as here, but I was acting out in class and under performing in spite having high scores on intelligence test for the time. Turns out it was due to my relationship with my father. He got involved and apparently all worked out for the better.
@@bobbyd6680 That is a super interesting story! Thank you for sharing, and I'm glad it worked out well for you!
I feel like his mother deep down cares. I mean she agreed to seek help. That’s a start. I see her smiling as she was watching her son play. Parenting is not easy. I hope she got the help she and her son need. And hopefully her marriage as well.
I'd argue the evidence you give supports the idea of the mother caring about her appearance. When she was smiling, it looked like relief that the kid saw the parents as loving and showed people that. Did she care? I think so. Was she more selfish than caring? I can definitely see it being possible. Was she more focused on herself when she was under stress? After the kids description of the birds he painted, I'd say likely. Is there a second appearance of the blobfish? Yep 25:54
@@lemonstealinghorsdoeuvre Selfish or not selfish, self focused or self conscious, what matters is that the channel she has with the child works such as providing love, assertive communication, limits, etc.
@@helenacorreia7613 agreed
She was probably treated the same way by her parents. Very sad.
Every child is an individual.
It was an era when children were corrected.
This Doctor is so calm and he’s so insightful. Brilliant.
The kid was so much calmer when being rocked and loved by the doctor...it was such a change! What the kid needed- positive, loving attention. It's what most people need!
These pioneers in child psychology should be commended.
This doctor is brilliant for today as much as 1960.
That's a sad at stupid reply as the father was clearly molesting the child , Duh.
@kronos4eva what makes you think He was molested?
He calmed and looked happy when hugged from the physiologist.
If love cannot fix something, nothing else will.
60s English was so much easier to understand than today's 😅
That therapist was absolutely amazing. I hope Phillip grew up to have a good life ❤
That's what I'm wondering, how he is now , I mean I respect their privacy but I'd love good news
@@shawnaclarkson9401 same! he is probably out there living his life, and even the mother could be still.
He sat waaay too close.
@@shawnaclarkson9401 Me murdered his mother in 1975.
@@bobbyd6680 what?! No way! How did you find this out? Or are you joking?
The moment the therapist said he loved him, something magical happened: He started getting through to the child. The child began to listen and to learn. Amazing.
This mother was nauseating. I imagine the husband wasn't much better. A great example of how sensitive kids are turned into sociopaths by parents who use them to manifest their own issues and act out against each other. Ugh!!
Such a great study of this family…..brilliant.
The mother seems cold and detached.
Calling her own son "the child" is a major red flag.
She sounded British to me, if this is the case, her phrase "the child" could just be a typical sarcastic tone. It is entirely normal and comical in Britain when speaking to children, say when they're being cheeky but playful, to start referring to them as "child", replying to their taunts with phrases such as "listen here child". It's a sarcastic way of joking about how in the situation they may of gotten the psychological upper hand, with a witty comment or joke, but that by reverting to a luddite style of speaking in nouns rather than proper verbiage, I am as an adult congratulating them admitting they have gotten the upper hand and made me look a fool, but that if we strip away our civilised façade I am the older, bigger, stronger participant and can with authority overrule them, that their quick wit wont save them from the natural order, and that while they've done well to master their sarcasm, they should respect their elders when employing it. The same thought process is on display but in a more matured stage, when the younger would use the phrase "old man" when speaking to someone who is old age and past it, but has similarly taunted them with a sarcastic remark.
@@Alfred5555 foolish comment
She is the parent who sought help- she owned up to her failures. Blaming the mother is a very simplistic approach to complicated family dynamics.
@Norah Fitzcharles I'm not "blaming" her for anything. Like all things in life, the back story is complex. I was merely making an observation. After all, she is the only person there.
If I could observe the father, no doubt I'd be critical of him also.
Disassociation, probably suffer from some sort of trauma and abuse.
The "you love me?" Broke my heart. 😭
😭 Me too, honey :(
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Poor thing. Hope he found the love he needed. He stopped what he was doing and questioned the doctor. Sad moment
HEARTBREAKING 💔 I HOPE HE GOT ALL THE LOVE HE DESERVES 🌻
He is a very intelligent little boy, he knows his father and mother do not get on. That his father beats his mother, and then she beats him.
Child needs one percent discipline and 99 percent lovingkindness. To know he is loved . As a child he cant leave home, he has to put up with it, he knows no other way.
He is a clever a little boy, he knows the problem is the parents.
There was a whole generation of kids who grew up without fathers/mothers, abusive and alcoholic parents, narcissistic parents and most of us were beat when we were disciplined! And guess what? The majority of us grew up just fine, raised families and busted our asses working for a living!
And you have what legitimate research to back those incredible claims up?@@jogordon1530
Thank you. 🙏 for showing me my mirror and helping me to see .
This 60s psychologist is 100 years ahead of these so called modern psychologists.
I don’t necessarily agree or disagree with this. I’m very curious as to why you think that?
Many people become psychologists with out any love, or understanding of it. but this doctor is so keen and obviously loving what he does.
Also I believe there is too much pressure for easy solutions. Might not be the modern psychiatrist's issue.
@@farangisehsani592 Yes I definitely agree with this, as an aspiring child psychiatrist myself :)
Just for clarification, he is not a psychologist. He is a psychiatrist. Psychologists get doctorates in the science of psychology to become therapists. Psychiatrists are physicians who go to medical school and then concentrate in the treatment of mental disorders through medication alongside therapy. This difference could also be why you're impressed with him, he has had much more extensive training than a psychologist.
Man that psychiatrist immediately identified the mother as the problem and started working on her
I wish someone had identified my paranoid schizophrenic mom as the problem when I was growing up. But they just focused on me.
The mother is the “problem”. How typical. Always blame women. WHERE is the father? HE is the problem the shrink can’t access, so blame the mother is the go to solution.
@@Byp-hh9vc Good point.
@@Byp-hh9vc well back then fathers basically weren’t involved in their sons lives you need to understand the era
@@MathGPTWhich I think proves that person’s comment even further. Having a parent at home who is very little involved in their life as a child, can make children act out and do “bad” things for the attention of the parent neglecting them. Kids know doing something bad will always get a reaction and attention. It’s sad that some kids feel disconnected from a parent to turn to being violent and/or a bully.
Back in the day people used words when talking that had meaning .
The genuine and humane care this doctor has for the boy and to finding the real deeper issue through human interaction, love, affection, soft talking, understanding, is probably the my most genuine compassionate thing I have ever witnessed, he didnt need aderall or any other mind altering medication, but just basic human /mommy, daddy's love and affection and understanding beautifully done bravo ti the doctor i hooe the mother understood what needed to be done. Love cures all ❤
Referring to your own child as “This child” “the child” “a child” is heartbreaking. She has disassociated herself with him, most likely long before his misbehavior.
I had twin boys. One of them sometimes drove me crazy but we always had fun and he always felt loved.
I don't think the Walk a Mile in Her Shoes fits in this instance. That being said, at that time children often got spanked and sent to bed without dinner. I was brought up that way but broke the cycle with my sons.
Yes I noticed the 'this child' 'the child etc. Putting a distance between her and her son who therefore became an object to be controlled rather than a son to be loved.
It was the 60s. Things were different. Parents were stricter and more detached. Good parenting back then was considered making sure your children were fed, clothed, and educated. A whole generation grew up like this.
@@matthews852 And you think parenting is better nowadays. It's easy to make generalisations, my parents weren't overly strict and I'm pretty sure none of my friends parents were either. The woman in this film came across as cold and it seemed from what she said her husband was much the same.
@@shamteal8614 It’s not a generalization. It’s based on a study conducted by California-Irvine, and the evolution of accepted discipline between the 1960s and today. Also the amount of time parents spend with their children has increased on average from 54 minutes a day in 1965, to 102 mins by 2012. I’m giving you facts. You gave us an anecdote about your friends.
Let's give the mother credit for her humility and willingness to take responsibility and her commitment to do anything for the boy's future.
She's projecting her past on the boys present. It'll impact his future.
You're clueless. Please don't have kids yet.
I don’t think the mother asked for help voluntarily. I think she was ‘forced’ to accept any help, because otherwise Philipe would’ve been expelled from school. For sure she ‘s not the type who would be cheerful about that outcome. Home schooling Philipe or sending him to a special school would only made her feel more like a loser. My guess, she just had to take the advice of his teachers.
I have a feeling what she should have done for his future was leave her husband .
To me it seemed like it was very painful for her to even admit
Let’s also wonder why the father isn’t there to take any responsibility. It’s sad how the parent that shows up is the one that’s solely blamed.
That doctor was so ahead of his time.
When the doctor asked “who do you think is the most important person to him?” I cried. Children really just want love from their most important person.
This ended with the mother and father are fighting all the time. Domestic violence. This 1960s family is involved in domestic violence and it's rubbing off on the children. This problem in 1960 is no different that now domestic violence and children in the middle
@@MD-gw4rkyup it’s DV mixed with ADHD. You can see the ticks he has all throughout the video. The PTSD is him trying to have control whenever something is overwhelming, especially if there’s shouting and yelling. Fight, flight or freeze happens when you are triggered while you have PTSD.
@@Krazycougar22
I don't think they are simulating that. It's domestic violence. Children that young are being taught at such an early age, as young as that child, to grow up beating thier own spouse. If parents showed love, affection, and disapline without screaming at your children, they will grow up healthy and happy. Set boundaries with your children. If they do wrong, correct them, but after you correct them, explain WHY they're doing wrong. Be consistent with your children. Parents NEED to stop trying to override each others type of disapline. Be consistent with them.
@@Krazycougar22
It's not hyper active disorder, the child is playing out his father's behavior by using the alligator as the beast represents his father's abusive nature. He acting up because he is seeing his mother get beat up ...she turns around and takes it out on the kid. he's weaker than the mother, so she will hit him too. Children are naturally hyper active. It's not a "disorder". I don't believe in hyperactive disorder. Children are hyper. They need stimuli, they need attention from the parents who raise them. Not drugged up and act like zombies.
@@Krazycougar22Another diagnostician rather than a rational analysis. Doping some kid up on drugs will ruin his life, you realize Ritalin is pretty much the same thing as methamphetamine right?
This therapist is so amazing, especially for the 60s. He's so sweet with "the child". The mother was just like my mother. No love, no affection, only screaming and abuse. I thought every family was like this 😢
Sorry to hear that you felt unloved. My folks were a bit like that too, no hugs ever. They were good parents in other ways but lacking in affection. Even now at 82 years old if try to hug them they tense up and get embarrassed. Grandparents were the same. I mean I knew they loved us kids, but they just never said it or showed it. I remember one day my Aunt (not a blood relative) hugged me for some reason. I kinda just froze and thought "this is weird" but maybe that was because I never really liked her that much. Anyway, I try to do better with my daughters because I realise now how important it is for kids to know they are loved.
I don’t know. I have to say the therapist kind of creeped me out. He kept invading the boy’s personal space and getting way too close. I think the boy probably suffered from ADHD.
Similar , in a way, but we can't blame them as they didn't have when they were babies!
I thought that's the way they spoke at the time. I actually thought the mother was a good mother for seeking help and taking advice so well. The therapist is brilliant, I wonder who he was.
@@ZosiaSamosiaOo
Actors, I’m thinking.
Y O U teams of genius doctors cannot FIX a broken spirit with 25 minutes of questions.
Teaching is an ART.
A child just need love and respect on the basis, I got that with my brother, and it’s such a therapeutic experience go to that part of ourselves, our inner child, and realize that we need to heal something. A child is a master and a mirror, they show us that part of ourselves that we were never allowed to feel, the vulnerability, the touch, the love. so beautiful 💗
Exactly ❤
Children are our greatest Teachers
The therapist is very good. I don’t think the mother really enjoys being a mother which is at the root of his misbehavior. His misbehavior functions as a way to keep his mother involved with him.
Mother is focused on herself: "there's something that makes you feel like a failure." Bad behavior may be an attempt to get mother to focus on the child.
And what about the father ?
@@shelleyoxenhorn833 well, if it were the only "project" in your life and it failed, you would feel similar as her. and if on top of that she had inferiority complex, than it makes even more sense.
@@shelleyoxenhorn833 I know it's easy to look down upon her but has anything changed today? Mothers are still under enormous pressure and I know a lot of them who routinely ask themselves those self-centered questions of "Do people think I'm a bad mother and a failure?" despite having their kids best interest at heart. It's hard to shun other people's opinions when it comes to emotionally loaded topics of family and raising children.
Well it shouldn't be her burden. Where is the father?
This doctor is so kind and affectionate; so gentle with this angry little boy. This was so touching. It’s clear Phillip is missing out on basic affection and gentle loving and tender care. So sad!
That wa very disturbing. That guy was way to close ti that little boy. He's definitely a perv.
@@michaelfornell4467 Did you miss the entire point of the video?? The child was missing affection so he addressed that issue perfectly and helped him. I hope you don't have any children because they will turn out just like Philippe. A man showing affection to a child is perverted??? You're an imbecile.
@@michaelfornell4467why is hugging and holding a young child inherently sexual? He didn’t have a healthy experience of parental love, so it seems like the psych was trying to show by example what love feels like. children NEED to be held and loved for neurological development.
He gets paid to be gentle and affectionate it’s part of the manipulative. Actions with the doctor is taking.
Please don’t make sexual jokes or advances or swear God wouldn’t like that and there are children here May God bless you and your family and help you Give your life to Jesus Christ and repent. I pray that God will lead on the path to Jesus Christ and send the Holy Spirit to be your helper. I pray this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ I pray Amen! Jesus Christ loves you. Give your life to Jesus Christ and ask for forgiveness for ALL OF YOUR SINS. Even the ones committed in the past and repent. He’s coming soon. Please pray and repent. GOD IS ALPHA AND OMEGA!!! THE BEGINNING AND THE END!!! GOD SENT HIS SON DOWN TO DIE ON THE CROSS FOR OUR SINS. PLEASE GIVE YOUR LIFE TO HIM!!! PRAY AND REPENT AND GOD IS COMING!!!!!! THERE IS NO TIME. FELLOW CHRISTIANS GOD WILL BE COMING DON’T LOSE FAITH!!! PLEASE!! PRAY FOR STRENGTH AND DON’T DOUBT HIM!!!
Romans 10:9 “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.”
Romans 10:10 “For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”
2 Peter 3:1-18 “1 This second epistle, beloved, I now write unto you; in both which I stir up your pure minds by way of remembrance:
2 That ye may be mindful of the words which were spoken before by the holy prophets, and of the commandment of us the apostles of the Lord and Saviour:
3 Knowing this first, that there shall come in the last days scoffers, walking after their own lusts,
4 And saying, Where is the promise of his coming? for since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation.
5 For this they willingly are ignorant of, that by the word of God the heavens were of old, and the earth standing out of the water and in the water:
6 Whereby the world that then was, being overflowed with water, perished:
7 But the heavens and the earth, which are now, by the same word are kept in store, reserved unto fire against the day of judgment and perdition of ungodly men.
8 But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.
9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.
10 But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.
11 Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness,
12 Looking for and hasting unto the coming of the day of God, wherein the heavens being on fire shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat?
13 Nevertheless we, according to his promise, look for new heavens and a new earth, wherein dwelleth
righteousness.
14 Wherefore, beloved, seeing that ye look for such things, be diligent that ye may be found of him in peace, without spot, and blameless.
15 And account that the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation; even as our beloved brother Paul also according to the wisdom given unto him hath written unto you;
16 As also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things; in which are some things hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as they do also the other scriptures, unto their own destruction.
17 Ye therefore, beloved, seeing ye know these things before, beware lest ye also, being led away with the error of the wicked, fall from your own stedfastness.
18 But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.”
concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.
10 But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.
11 Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness,
12 Looking for and hasting unto the coming of the day of God, wherein the heavens being on fire shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat?
13 Nevertheless we, according to his promise, look for new heavens and a new earth, wherein dwelleth
righteousness.
14 Wherefore, beloved, seeing that ye look for such things, be diligent that ye may be found of him in peace, without spot, and blameless.
15 And account that the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation; even as our beloved brother Paul also according to the wisdom given unto him hath written unto you;
16 As also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things; in which are some things hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as they do also the other scriptures, unto their own destruction.
17 Ye therefore, beloved, seeing ye know these things before, beware lest ye also, being led away with the error of the wicked, fall from your own stedfastness. GOD JESUS CHRIST AND THE HY SPIRIT IS ALPHA AND OMEGA!!
18 But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.” GOD, JESUS CHRIST, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT IS ALPHA AND OMEGA.l
I must say the doctor did a great job in opening Phillip’s window to his soul. As I observed the video, Phillips first seemed to be evasive and protective of his territory, then as the doctor gave him more comforts, Philips started to open his tenderness and show his playful side. Turned out, Philip just wanted to be understood gently as a kid, just a kid. His parents and the doctor took different approaches and it seemed to me Philips preferred to doctor’s approach to make him listen and pay attention to people. Damn… I feel I was looking back at my childhood time. Wish I had someone I trusted said he believed in me when I was a kid, because now I grew up with low self esteem.
I would love to hear an update on this child. If we only had more teachers and doctors like that, it would be a different world.
The way one speaks to a child, becomes their inner voice.
Very profound observation. I never thought of that.
Wow!
That's so very true ....It took me decades to realise that it was my mother's voice in my head, always disapproving of me.
The doctor almost seems like a time-traveler, he's so wise and empathetic for the time. Obviously not everyone from that time were cold or backwards thinking, but it's kind of striking to see in an informative video like this.
I know right?! Most doctors would’ve immediately put that boy in a psyche hospital and have him take a handful of meds to put him in a zombie state. Just like JFK’s sister Rosemary who was put away and had a lobotomy done
I really don't think most therapists, pychiatrist, etc. were all that different. I believe it is most people now who have a warped view of history. This is because what we hear about the practices of the past are mostly accounts of extreme cases. Granted there were some widespread issues, especially with institutiinalization; however, working in the mental health field for the last 15 years, I am not convinced that the current practices are substantial improvements. Many continue to be institutionalized, it has just taken a different form, one with broader implications and harm to communities. I am not advocating going back, mind you, just that the field has not made the progress many seem to believe it has.
@@TheJohmac my fathers youngest brother was “put away” in a psychiatric hospital because he was out of control. My fathers family didn’t want to be “associated” with him or have others know that their son was mentally ill. He was in there in the mid 1960’s. They were well known in their community and couldn’t have a child who was “different” and rarely ever visited him. I met him once when I was about 5 years old and remember seeing him sitting in a chair just staring at the wall. My father tried talking to him and he wouldn’t respond. The visit was maybe 5 to 10 minutes until my father said, “Let’s go, I don’t know why I even bothered to see him anyways.” I was confused what was going on and asked my father if, “ everything was okay?” He said, “Yes, everything is fine, don’t worry, we won’t ever come here again.” I couldn’t ask him who that man was until many years later because he would get so upset every time I would bring it up. I never saw him again and learned that he died in there a few years later. It has always bothered me how my grandparents just got rid of him because they didn’t want to be embarrassed.
Doctors now are less empathetic
We are much more cold now than back than
He had more calm and love from the doctor in that hour, than from his trauma inducing family. Poor little guy. 😢
HE LOOKED SO QUICKLY AT THE THERAPIST WHEN HE SAID " I LOVE YOU" AND KEPT LOOKING AT HIM. POOR LITTLE FELLOW.
This poor kid lit up like a Christmas tree when the doctor said he loved him, and the lad even asked joyfully, “You love me?!” I think this poor kid didn’t feel loved by his parents, and when he rationalized why not, he obviously told himself it was because a bad kid and decided he was on his own.
Yeah, when he later says his mum would hit him when he feels bad for her after her husband hit her explains a lot. He was on his own, anything he did he must have been afraid he will be abused for.
@@moos5221Lol My parents were exactly the same in the 2000s (father beats mother -> mother beats children). I don't think lil dude was afraid to be abused but probs was always told he's bad so it becomes like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Why even try when no one recognizes the little positive things anyways?
I just love that little boy's therapist. He is so sensitive, and so helpful for this child. I do hope that these sessions help him so as he grows, he is able to leave this behind.
That little boy is about 61 years old if he is still alive.
Lol
He is in prison now.
@@dawndoliber2663 que eres malo jajaja
@@dawndoliber2663 Running cell block D and has all his bitches in a row so he can punch them for getting ink on their hands, mind you his cell block is the cleanest in the whole prison system.
Lots and lots of hugs are needed. An obvious cry for love and attention.