Couples Therapist Reacts to Love Is Blind: After the Altar Part 1

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  • čas přidán 12. 02. 2023
  • What's Anya Screen, Friends?
    Today, I will be breaking down Love is Blind: After the Altar for season 3. I will be reviewing what's going on with each couple whether they're together or not. From Cole and Zainab to Raven and SK there is a ton to talk about with these couples. Since I never made a video for Brennan and Alexa, I will share my thoughts about their relationship and specifically their communication. I will look for any signs of psychological or emotional abuse that many of us were concerned about with one of the couples. And let's see what Bartise and Nancy are up to. What are your thoughts on where these couples are and how do you feel about "After the Altar" as a concept?
    Zanab & Cole Breakdown//
    • Therapist Breaks Down ...
    Matt & Colleen//
    • Therapist Breaks Down ...
    Nancy & Bartise Breakdown//
    • Therapist Breaks Down ...
    SK & Raven Breakdown//
    • Therapist Breaks Down ...
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    #therapistreacts #loveisblindseason3

Komentáře • 439

  • @czb7395
    @czb7395 Před rokem +566

    Colleen just always looks nervous or scared when they are together in interviews…

    • @d.h.3025
      @d.h.3025 Před rokem +37

      True! I feel, that she is maybe scared to say something wrong in front of the cameras and then get into the trouble again.

    • @basiccaucasian6234
      @basiccaucasian6234 Před rokem +27

      I thought she looked annoyed in some of them. 😂

    • @oksanaml9279
      @oksanaml9279 Před rokem +42

      I don't think she even likes him TBH

    • @victoriasanyime9910
      @victoriasanyime9910 Před rokem +9

      Right??? I keep getting that vibe too, I thought I was maybe reading her wrong. It's quite uncomfortable.

    • @nicky132
      @nicky132 Před rokem +2

      It couldn't be more obvious 😳

  • @steffnic13
    @steffnic13 Před rokem +871

    As someone with CPTSD, I have been Zae and I have blamed others for stuff that I fully created. I feel badly for Cole. He wasn’t perfect but he does not deserve the nonsense being tossed his way. And for Brennan to be such a clown to him is honestly pathetic. He needs to man up. He’s being eaten alive by his lady.

    • @jakemarie828
      @jakemarie828 Před rokem +45

      Cole was actively awful first tho. Zay reading into things doesn't take away the devaluing we saw from him on camera. Both of them have a lot of work to do and we haven't seen accountability from either of them.

    • @EnjoyLife-op5rn
      @EnjoyLife-op5rn Před rokem +41

      @@jakemarie828 Zay was also critical of Cole during their time on camera too.

    • @kayhope2602
      @kayhope2602 Před rokem +30

      @@jakemarie828I keep seeing people say this. Can you explain what he was doing in the beginning that was so awful? I’m genuinely curious.

    • @ericarobinson1845
      @ericarobinson1845 Před rokem +19

      Totally agree!!! Brennan stopped in my eyes when he went after Cole too.

    • @MsMojo014
      @MsMojo014 Před rokem +10

      @@kayhope2602 Yeah, I keep seeing this everywhere but I’m confused about what he did that was so awful..🙄

  • @elizabethveras4552
    @elizabethveras4552 Před rokem +668

    I felt like Colleen was in love with everyone. Everyone was "THE ONE". And her facial expressions say something different. She doesn't really look happy.

    • @sasamafrass
      @sasamafrass Před rokem +33

      She has said she is uncomfortable in front of the camera after seeing the backlash to their season and that's why she looks so scared and uncomfortable. That being said Matt and Colleen don't really seem like they like each other very much. Like maybe it's a sunk cost fallacy and they feel like they have to keep going. I definitely support them not living together and keeping their finances separate until they are 100% sure if they want to stay married or not.

    • @tamikanicole
      @tamikanicole Před rokem +20

      During the pods she was so broken up about being rejected twice it seems like if anyone was going to propose to her she was gonna say yes

    • @keemiel4005
      @keemiel4005 Před rokem +3

      She’s scared of Matt.

    • @carinekaraki3735
      @carinekaraki3735 Před rokem +9

      My problem is that it’s okay to have disagreements in a relationship but it seems they disagree on FUNDAMENTAL things like buying a house/pets/location/timelines which is why everyone is saying it won’t work out. They’re in the dating stage discussing life decisions so love might not be enough

    • @jamie6008
      @jamie6008 Před rokem +1

      I thought she was acting for most of the time. It seemed so forced and contrived. But the fact that she seems to still be with Matt obviously makes me think I’m wrong about that now. I guess that’s just what a superficial relationship sounds like idk

  • @bubblegumm8114
    @bubblegumm8114 Před rokem +112

    Imagine telling a literal therapist she’s using “gaslighting” wrong lmao people are wild

    • @SomeSortaBliss
      @SomeSortaBliss Před 4 měsíci

      Well, to be fair, the term didn’t originate in the psychology/therapy community, and it had a distinct colloquial meaning that became fuzzy after it become popularized. For those who understand the term in it’s original form before it became popular, yeah she is using it wrong.
      Language and meanings of words are fluid. ‘Gaslight’ has come to mean something a tad different than the original meaning that came from the play of the same title, so sure by this standard she is using it correctly. Some people are still catching up, releasing their previous understanding of the former less subjective definition, and adapting to how society currently uses it.
      Also sounds like you’re implying that a therapist cannot use a term incorrectly….
      Edit: I will be silent now, I see what I misunderstood. Minus the last point. I don't think it should be assumed someone is 100% correct and unquestionable solely because of their title. Remember the medical community once shunned the man who suggested the existence of germs.

  • @4everlovemusic101
    @4everlovemusic101 Před rokem +408

    I wonder if Alexa hates Cole because he triggers her. Specifically his "alleged" comments about Zanab's size or fat shaming her. Maybe that has been an issue in her previous relationships.

    • @iriomethesinger
      @iriomethesinger Před rokem +27

      Is a good theory actually

    • @chiara7413
      @chiara7413 Před rokem +28

      I thought the exact same while I was watching the show. I also thought she probably found him attractive at first but his comments shattered her confidence which she built in the years. They say that hate is the other side of love so..

    • @walkdeep
      @walkdeep Před rokem

      But she is fat, why does the truth hurt people so much

    • @emp9413
      @emp9413 Před rokem +4

      Oh certainly. She was extremely insecure from the start. My guess is vulnerable narcissist or borderline, taking revenge for perceived slights

  • @roshanakhannani3329
    @roshanakhannani3329 Před rokem +147

    It's insane that these people never said anything about Barracuda because Nancy was basically a pushover. But they piled on Cole because Zanab was so dramatic.

  • @emazame
    @emazame Před rokem +263

    Brennon is directing all his accumulated anger to others people business. The way he pressed his lips together when Alexas dad was mocking him woooow. He is holding so much back but he cant because he knows they would twist everything so bad that at the end he would be the villain of the story. I really dont like this whole Alexa-Brennon thing.

    • @brielax4441
      @brielax4441 Před rokem +10

      Me either.

    • @andaredvex
      @andaredvex Před rokem +68

      I think that's spot on. He has so much pent up anger from being oppressed by Alexa and her family that he finds other ways to release it. They always seem to be stomping on his manhood so he has to act dominant in other situations. Unfortunately he chooses to target Cole the most, trying to collect some brownie points for acting as his wife's whip. It's kind of sad to be honest.

    • @steffnic13
      @steffnic13 Před rokem +19

      That father in law and his BDE and his comment about the box 🧐🤦🏼‍♀️ and his wife the same age as his daughters and Alexa’s quasi BDE that she got from him is all rather interesting. And it’s exactly right that Brennon will then seek to dominate the more submissive. My dog literally does this at the park when she is being bullied. They pass it down the line. Cole doesn’t deserve to be a punching bag.

    • @regularity2556
      @regularity2556 Před rokem

      ​@@steffnic13 what is BDE?

    • @lunarosa321
      @lunarosa321 Před 5 měsíci

      @@regularity2556big dick energy or someone who is perceived to be an alpha person, more dominant one

  • @tgiggles2787
    @tgiggles2787 Před rokem +200

    It’s so irritating to me to see Zae saying that she has healed and yet seeing her throw Cole under the bus for his wrong doings and the things she just perceived were his wrongdoings without accepting ANY responsibility for the toxic things she did. And to see the whole friend group side with her and target Cole…so cringey. I don’t think a single one took the time to hear Cole’s side. I do appreciate your point of view and love to watch your reviews on the show!

  • @WilliamsPinch
    @WilliamsPinch Před rokem +261

    I’m happy that it seems neither Colleen or Matt want to move in together 😂

    • @janaiahalexandre7577
      @janaiahalexandre7577 Před rokem +26

      That’s honestly for the best I spent that entire season being genuinely concerned for Colleen’s safety

  • @nherhandsart
    @nherhandsart Před rokem +405

    I was super annoyed by Brennan. I guess he was being supportive of his wife, but I felt like he was soo anti Cole with a biased viewpoint. And he’s a sh*t starter…

    • @4everArtista
      @4everArtista Před rokem +62

      Those were my exact words to my husband, Alexa and Brennon are Sh*t starters!!!

    • @steffnic13
      @steffnic13 Před rokem +2

      Facts

    • @AndreaGarciaDiosdado
      @AndreaGarciaDiosdado Před rokem +18

      Agreed! They don't even listen to him, only know and trust her point of view

    • @ashleywolford948
      @ashleywolford948 Před rokem +32

      Brennon needs to have that kind of energy towards his father in law.

    • @xoxdesire
      @xoxdesire Před rokem +27

      He's annoying. I liked them at first but now they are acting holier than though. I guess they are just going of what Zay said so he sounded horrible but would love to know their reaction after the cuties scene. Supposedly this was filmed before the reunion which is stupid but also is weird since Cole is talking about cuties in one scene. Even at the reunion Cole told him did you see me getting girls numbers and he couldn't answer cuz he left so what is his weird beef. Lol. Brennon was also charged with domestic assault on an ex gf so I don't think he is great either.

  • @nglo53
    @nglo53 Před rokem +47

    “There’s not enough to talk about” with Alexa and Brennen has me weak 😂

  • @MzJamaicanBeauty12
    @MzJamaicanBeauty12 Před rokem +153

    I really don’t think the dad was joking when she said “I hate him” it was such a long awkward pause and Brennan had to kept promoting to move forward from “the joke”

    • @mariew5326
      @mariew5326 Před rokem +12

      agreed

    • @CharisMaggieTV
      @CharisMaggieTV Před rokem +34

      Yah definitely wasn’t a joke. My guy didn’t even say “just kidding”

    • @MzJamaicanBeauty12
      @MzJamaicanBeauty12 Před rokem +32

      @@CharisMaggieTV right he said “you want the truth… I hate him” and only started talking again after Brennan saying okay okay come on come on TWICE. There was no joke

    • @CharisMaggieTV
      @CharisMaggieTV Před rokem +5

      @@MzJamaicanBeauty12 exactly lol

  • @angelicasanchez-ky6xy
    @angelicasanchez-ky6xy Před rokem +297

    watched the episode thinking "I need Steph to break this whole thing down" lol. My heart broke for Raven and SK, the whole time it seemed so real and strong, for it to all come down so quickly.

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  Před rokem +31

      So quickly 💔

    • @daughterofyah6209
      @daughterofyah6209 Před rokem +4

      Same but I had a slight feeling because he’s across the country. I think they should’ve waited until he graduated, that is if they were still single.

    • @isabelmmg
      @isabelmmg Před rokem +5

      @@daughterofyah6209 did you hear what happened? He had more as one affairs, he is a scam

    • @a1ntcry1noveru
      @a1ntcry1noveru Před rokem +3

      Sk did not seem genuine at all to me

    • @walkdeep
      @walkdeep Před rokem +6

      Let me tell ya bout sk. He's the guy who will always just be agreeable and never say anything against what her woman says even if he feels different. He's a sweet talker with literally no backbone. In the pods he would just agree with everything the chick wanted or liked. That ain't realistic.

  • @WilliamsPinch
    @WilliamsPinch Před rokem +449

    I think that the parents probably observe Brennan compromising or yielding to Alexa & they’re trying to encourage him to advocate for himself. I don’t think it’s just about gender roles, I think they see that Alexa is probably dominating the decision making in a way that’s dismissive of Brennan. Bc he seems to be a pushover…

    • @bluedancelilly
      @bluedancelilly Před rokem +76

      100% yes. She dominates and controls their decisions. He does everything for her and she seems to do nothing for him. The dad shouldn't have said that, but he does have a point. Anyone watching them can see it. Its not about patriarchy, but about equality in a marriage.

    • @nerlandiaamazan3748
      @nerlandiaamazan3748 Před rokem +37

      Brennon most likely will lose himself in that relationship

    • @tunzlunz
      @tunzlunz Před rokem +14

      @@bluedancelillyidk if we can say anyone watching can see it because we only see a limited amount of footage. However it does seem like Alexa is a type A personality and Brennan is a type B. This works though and that’s why their relationship is the strongest. If Brennan isn’t advocating for himself then I hope he does soon but I agree with Steph that it may be patriarchal stuff because traditionally both families have that background. The evidence can support both viewpoints so who knows? 🤷🏾‍♀️

    • @patb2582
      @patb2582 Před rokem +10

      @@tunzlunz Brennan is a punk and is scared of Alexa so he’s backing down. He’s no type B this is the man that physically abused his ex

    • @kathleenewart3106
      @kathleenewart3106 Před rokem +1

      Agree

  • @coralbluenumber7lipstick688

    Zanab honestly annoyed me I'm glad that she has started going to therapy and I really hope she finds someone she deserves. But I don't think she was fully accountable of where she went went wrong. Really looking forward to what you say about part 2 ❤

    • @steffnic13
      @steffnic13 Před rokem +3

      Totally agree.

    • @rubennadevi
      @rubennadevi Před rokem +51

      Fully? That girl took zero accountability! She blamed everything on Cole and still stands by it.

    • @wavesonswim8738
      @wavesonswim8738 Před rokem +6

      The therapy won’t work. It requires self awareness and honesty

  • @MzJamaicanBeauty12
    @MzJamaicanBeauty12 Před rokem +32

    I think the reason I can’t really feel good about Brennan is he has no issue with Bartise and that doesn’t make sense

    • @birdi3beez
      @birdi3beez Před rokem +6

      Right! No problem with that one even though he treated and spoke to Nancy horribly.

    • @MzJamaicanBeauty12
      @MzJamaicanBeauty12 Před rokem +11

      @@birdi3beez yeah he is taking a hard stance against Cole but Bartise was arguably worse and didn’t really apologize and kept at it pretty the whole time. It’s weird

    • @birdi3beez
      @birdi3beez Před rokem +4

      @@MzJamaicanBeauty12 it’s confusing to me and comes across as him being inconsistent in his “values /morals.” You perceive Cole as someone who treats women poorly and come down hard on him, but don’t do the same with Bartise or Matt😕 They we’re both awful to. That makes no sense to me and makes me feel like you don’t really care about men treating women poorly you just have a personal issue with Cole.

    • @MzJamaicanBeauty12
      @MzJamaicanBeauty12 Před rokem +2

      @@birdi3beez truly, I just think Alexa is super close with Zenab so her having a major problem issue with him means he co-signs… it is incredibly inconsistent

  • @terrijones693
    @terrijones693 Před rokem +207

    I was so glad to see this alert because I definitely wanted to hear your perspective. I am so disappointed in the ladies and Brennan for how they just accept Zay's treatment of Cole and then proceed to just pile on. Real friends hold you accountable.

    • @wigglymoose
      @wigglymoose Před rokem +14

      SO true! but you don’t have to be friends to hold people accountable, apparently since they’re all trying to go after cole who they seemingly hate? this is just another example of having 3 sides to every story: his, hers, and the truth lol

    • @janine3664
      @janine3664 Před rokem +16

      Honestly, these women act like high school girls so it's not surprising that they are doing something as childish as talking crap about their friend's ex continually. He dated her for two months and they broke up a year ago. Real adult girlfriends would help you move on.

    • @rubennadevi
      @rubennadevi Před rokem +1

      Exactly!

  • @grumylynn
    @grumylynn Před rokem +136

    Cole may be unpolished and sloppy at times with his words, but from my perspective he seems to have a good heart, whereas Zae (sp) comes across cold, rigid and dismissive. It bothers me too that Cole is bullied and that the women are so caddy and "mean girlish" toward him. I don't think Cole would be able to do anything right in this relationship. I hope Cole does not fall back into this relationship, he has a lot to offer to someone who sees his good qualities.

    • @fizahaque
      @fizahaque Před rokem +16

      I wish Cole and Colleen chose eachother instead. She genuinely doesn’t seem happy with Matt either 😢

    • @applepower5
      @applepower5 Před rokem +6

      Did you mean "catty"? Otherwise, that is a beautiful Mean Girls reference 😏😏

  • @beatricevincent2363
    @beatricevincent2363 Před rokem +25

    Re: what you say about Cole, I think it's really interesting viewing it as reality TV as well as actual people. There always needs to be a "villian" of the season and the producers will never allow it to be someone from a "successful" couple. (The edit went very easy on Amber in S1 for example). Doing that big alter speech, Zay gave the producers of the show a great opening to make Cole the "villain" of the season, because they don't want to focus on, for example, Matt's anger issues. I wouldn't be surprised if the others were prompted to talk badly of Cole during this filming.

    • @kaimcdragonfist4803
      @kaimcdragonfist4803 Před rokem

      That would make sense as to why he got dragged so badly at the reunion special, too. Like he said some dumb stuff, for sure, but Zay and the girls ganging up on him is so scummy, and the fact that nobody is taking his side is just depressing

    • @sweetsnejinka9411
      @sweetsnejinka9411 Před rokem

      That's a good point. And also, I know the sweetest girl who was apparently made the "villain" of a reality show. Knowing how she is in person makes me super suspicious of these good/bad narratives.
      I'm honestly getting suspicious of Cole and what was cut out, just because the way the other ppl who knew him all seem to hate him. Like, he's got not one defender.

    • @pocztowik
      @pocztowik Před 3 měsíci

      I suppose the villain of the season has to be a white male or a white woman. So Bartise could not be the one. Just look back to the all seasons...it is the rule. Of course it is a t producers idea.

  • @nerlandiaamazan3748
    @nerlandiaamazan3748 Před rokem +137

    I think Brennon has changed a little since he has been with Alexa. She's in full control in the relationship and Brennon is giving "Yes ma'am anything you want. I don't know if it's healthy or not

  • @gee9342
    @gee9342 Před rokem +64

    Honestly, it irks me when we take a man's word instead of his actions. SK is just saying the right things. Nothing else. His face is completely stoic and his voice tone never changes. The guy is giving sociopath

    • @devochkadee
      @devochkadee Před rokem +6

      That’s what I was thinking too..

    • @lthomas6022
      @lthomas6022 Před rokem +17

      I've thought that about SK from early on. He's even said some sketchy things. Raven was trying to learn about him and his culture. But she was expected to move across the country. What man would come on an "I'm ready to get married show" while in the process of moving, starting school, and not being able to help with bills if you can't move with them. That's a lot to expect, especially from someone you just met.

    • @kayhope2602
      @kayhope2602 Před rokem +10

      @@lthomas6022that’s exactly what I said. You KNEW you were gonna be in California for school yet you intentionally came on a march making show and essentially wasted everyone’s time.

    • @Amber-gf8yz
      @Amber-gf8yz Před rokem +2

      IM CRYING yes

    • @Samzillah
      @Samzillah Před 11 měsíci

      ​@@kayhope2602for real and it's not like he picked a girl who wasn't that passionate about her career or who was happy with being a stay-at-home, like Raven is a working girl with her own business that she won't be walking away from.

  • @skyewagner1874
    @skyewagner1874 Před rokem +36

    I appreciate all of this. What you’re saying about Zay and Cole particularly stands out to me. I feel really bad for Cole. I feel like all the girls just attack him and then all the guys do the same thing. I have not once seen anyone on the show honestly empathize with him or have interest in his truth and his perspective and feelings. I feel like Zay thinks she’s contributing to women’s empowerment by “standing up for herself” but in actuality she’s creating soooo much drama. I would literally not be able to be friends with someone like her. I hope Cole gets some public recognition for his side of the story. I’d love to see more of that from the people on the actual show itself but that’s probably too much to ask.

    • @Lifelessons101-23
      @Lifelessons101-23 Před rokem +5

      Cole will have peace and a good women because that’s who he is. Zay will not because that’s isn’t who she is… _______ place any man on that blank and she will do or has already done the same to another man. Once women create an alter reality of truth they will almost never go back on their words for the sake of not being embarrassed and of course deep rooted insecurities. Any woman who is emotionally stable and has a right state of mind knows Cole is harmless. He is just learning with age and experience as every human being. And if that isn’t enough for women to understand then point fingers at the woman who raised him. Women are the biggest influences in children’s lives.

  • @Sara-Eevtea
    @Sara-Eevtea Před rokem +19

    Brenneman reminds me of my abusive boss. His wife treated him like her servant so he projected his anger towards me. Cursing at me, berating me, demeaning me. He tried to say hi to my husband when he saw him and I guess my husband said "Craig dont try to talk to me. I hate your ass. Fuck off" lol

  • @stephaniemberego5371
    @stephaniemberego5371 Před rokem +37

    That was just Brennan enjoying being top dog and having conversations with men who weren’t emasculating him 😂 22:43

  • @emilywolf5749
    @emilywolf5749 Před rokem +80

    Would love to see you break down "Ultimatum, Marry or Move on "!!

    • @BlackQueenA1825
      @BlackQueenA1825 Před rokem +4

      YES!!! I completely agree

    • @lekessler68
      @lekessler68 Před rokem +2

      I finished that one and immediately came to see if she had a video on Madlyn & Colby 😂

  • @kristinaneil9421
    @kristinaneil9421 Před rokem +32

    Raven did a podcast conversation about her and SK's relationship timeline. She was fully committed.

  • @RingsBirdsCupboards
    @RingsBirdsCupboards Před rokem +78

    Honestly, I feel like all the girls just don’t like Cole, like, as a person. Which, on the one hand, I totally get. He’s definitely not everyone’s cup of tea - loud, a bit socially awkward, doesn’t always think before he speaks. So when Z comes in with these stories of all the stuff he’s supposedly done, the girls are all too happy to latch onto them in order to turn Cole into a full on villain. “I don’t like this person” becomes “this person is a bad person that no one should like.”

    • @kristinbrown7144
      @kristinbrown7144 Před rokem +11

      Yes that makes sense, I am pretty sure if they saw him as a more likable person or less annoying they may have questioned her stories more.

    • @sheikay3380
      @sheikay3380 Před rokem +3

      Wow! Love your perspective on the women's perspective of Cole. That makes a lot of sense. Makes sense why they're not even questioning if the accusations against him really happened because they already felt negatively towards him. Good take! I do feel bad for him though. No one on his corner.

    • @birdi3beez
      @birdi3beez Před rokem +12

      Like they keep saying he’s done things outside of the cuties situation they personally witnessed. But what are these things. You’re no longer bound by contract so please just tell us. I don’t want to unknowingly defend someone who’s treated another poorly so just tell us.

  • @elizabethvictoria777
    @elizabethvictoria777 Před rokem +26

    It’s so hard to see how they gang up on Cole.

  • @ebonymabry77
    @ebonymabry77 Před rokem +92

    Raven actually responded to fans demanding the girls to apologize to Cole after the Cuties story was revealed and she basically said that she would not apologize and that she would stick by Zanab because they are best friends.

    • @Lovethyself887
      @Lovethyself887 Před rokem +29

      Alexa gave a half assed apology though

    • @Momo-po5tn
      @Momo-po5tn Před rokem

      Toxic femininity

    • @stephanies7909
      @stephanies7909 Před rokem +10

      It's sad. I hope they give him his own show and he does find love.

    • @leed4212
      @leed4212 Před rokem +3

      @@stephanies7909 I’ve seen people say he should be the next bachelor and I am sooo into it. Idk if it’d be good for him but I’d watch it haha

    • @Samzillah
      @Samzillah Před 11 měsíci +3

      ​@@leed4212it would make for good TV but I don't think it would be at all good for his mental health

  • @pigpjs
    @pigpjs Před rokem +16

    I grew up in a family where both sets of grandparents got along. It was an incredible way to grow up. Went on family vacations and spent the holidays with both sets at the same time.

  • @aliceaartistry7875
    @aliceaartistry7875 Před rokem +135

    I hope Cole finds the love he deserves

  • @MJ31579
    @MJ31579 Před rokem +10

    Bartise likes how Nancy cares, but he doesnt care as much as Nancy

  • @ZariV
    @ZariV Před rokem +69

    I agree with you about Brennan "regurgitating" Alexa's opinions. I like them as a couple but he gives me pushover energy as well. I also was very irritated and triggered by the group scene when they discussed Cole.

  • @somethingelse4204
    @somethingelse4204 Před rokem +70

    That first clip with Colleen and Matt bothered the heck out of me. He did all the talking and she seemed so closed down. Did she feel like she could disagree with him on camera?
    Edit: Re: Brennan and Alexa, I think that they are one of these couples with similar opinions about things and being together, they empower one another. Just because Brennan is quieter, that doesn't mean he doesn't have hot takes. Maybe he just didn't have the comfort airing his opinions until being with a more outspoken person rubbed off on him. I don't interpret that as him not having his own thoughts and opinions. But I could be wrong.

    • @saraosorio553
      @saraosorio553 Před rokem +13

      I agree! even the way he said to her, you can piggy back off that if you want and she just got quiet and said uhhh yeah. Instead of inviting her to share her thoughts he was essentially saying, ok now it's your turn to agree on what I'm saying.

    • @dandavids769
      @dandavids769 Před rokem +2

      Fully agree with everything you said

  • @Liz84046
    @Liz84046 Před rokem +6

    I'm getting my masters in social work. Watching you analyze helps me view things in a different lens and makes me feel comfortable with understanding how to diagnose people. I love watching your videos.

  • @TheAtjackson
    @TheAtjackson Před rokem +124

    I’m so happy to see this. I’ll be tuning in for sure. I had to stop watching this , I found Zaes borderline traits too much. I am a therapist as well and the breakdowns you did were spot on.

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  Před rokem +13

      Looking forward to chatting with you!

    • @TheAtjackson
      @TheAtjackson Před rokem +3

      @@StephAnya same

    • @leilleebitiyong9746
      @leilleebitiyong9746 Před rokem +2

      I am a therapist (LMFT) as well and I love watching your videos; you are always spot on!!!

    • @karitak2685
      @karitak2685 Před rokem +2

      Me too!! I skipped through a lot of it.

    • @fusionlovestories
      @fusionlovestories Před rokem +4

      First time watching your video! So cool to see other therapists chime in. Question for u all... another therapist says Gaslighting IS a clinical term. It's been adopted into pop culture and being used incorrectly. Thoughts?

  • @sarahlana5124
    @sarahlana5124 Před rokem +40

    can’t wait!!🤩I am an MFT trainee and you are the only therapist on social media that I find to be very helpful when it comes to these reviews in helping me better understand what each person’s point of view in couple’s dynamic and especially when there’s some toxicity going on.

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  Před rokem +6

      So glad to hear that you’re finding the videos helpful!

    • @rethinkcps2116
      @rethinkcps2116 Před rokem +4

      @@StephAnya - we need *you* to replace Dr. Phil!
      He's retiring. You are in the chute - step up & grab that seven-figure gig!
      You'll be great...breath of fresh air.

  • @Cornflower20
    @Cornflower20 Před rokem +3

    Omg I'm SO GLAD you're covering these!!!

  • @rachelrobertson7353
    @rachelrobertson7353 Před rokem +6

    Thank you so much for your analysis of this! Can’t wait for Part 2! Also, I’m so excited to see your thoughts on the new season of YOU!

  • @Bee-gf8gn
    @Bee-gf8gn Před rokem +14

    I respect what you said about calling out your friends & not just going along with how folks feel. I’m like that with my friends & encourage them to be real af with me. I’m better for it.

  • @Sough
    @Sough Před rokem +39

    Brennan is so condescending and rude

    • @ladyvanilla3
      @ladyvanilla3 Před rokem +2

      Hes a true gentelman in my eyes

    • @WilliamsPinch
      @WilliamsPinch Před rokem +26

      Bc he can’t stand up to his wife or father in law, so he’s taking it out on people of lesser stature lol. For sure.

    • @ashleywolford948
      @ashleywolford948 Před rokem +1

      Exactly why bully Cole it’s so unnecessary

    • @skyewagner1874
      @skyewagner1874 Před rokem +3

      Agreed. It’s not just that he’s opinionated, he acts like his opinions are fact. But also, I feel like there is pent up anger from his dynamic with Alexa

    • @automaticcaptions
      @automaticcaptions Před 4 měsíci +1

      The man converted his religion with no push back. That’s all that needs to be said about how much of a push over he is

  • @rethinkcps2116
    @rethinkcps2116 Před rokem +17

    Matt told her she could chime in. As if it was understood that she needed to wait for his cue.
    🤨

  • @WinterHamie
    @WinterHamie Před rokem +9

    I NEED PART TWO! I love this series you do x😊

  • @marizaglam
    @marizaglam Před rokem +4

    Was waiting for this!! So glad you covered this for us ❤️🙏🏽

  • @dolphinchick2121
    @dolphinchick2121 Před rokem +17

    For SK and Raven i listened to Nick Viall's podcast and she spoke in detail about what happened and its so sad. If she is being honest then SK is a piece of work and F boy for sure.

  • @isivoss5995
    @isivoss5995 Před rokem +1

    I just love watching your facial expressions 😂 they are so spot on. Thanks for doing these videos! Your analysis is super interesting!

  • @naomilee9866
    @naomilee9866 Před rokem

    As soon as I watched the new content, I was WAITINGGG for this!!

  • @czb7395
    @czb7395 Před rokem +54

    Maybe Brennon is like Nancy, containers for other peoples emotions. I agree he’s not forming his own opinions because he’s going off of what Alexa is saying. And maybe that’s why their family questions their power dynamics….

  • @alashea2974
    @alashea2974 Před rokem +9

    I loved your perspective on this episode. Yes, please review YOU. It's one of my favorite shows.

  • @iwantmusic420
    @iwantmusic420 Před rokem +2

    I’ve agreed with literally every single thing you’ve said in all your videos about this season!

  • @callmeSirplz
    @callmeSirplz Před rokem +15

    I enjoyed hearing your frustrations about making this "after-the-altar series before the reunion, " which feels pointless. I'd like to see an after-the-later episode a year after the wedding. How else might you structure the show to improve the success of finding and maintaining a connection between contestants...I'd also be invested in your thoughts on the 90-day franchise

  • @carlyvgates
    @carlyvgates Před rokem

    Yes to YOU! Though we are waiting until all of the eps are released. Heart you, Happy Valentine's!

  • @amxxbln
    @amxxbln Před rokem +6

    Not a fan of how many in the comments portray Brennan as the poor one suffering „under“ Alexa - I feel like this really wouldn’t be such an issue if Alexa was the guy and Brennan the girl. Putting the perspective just on the dynamic of the two, I think they are working out really well - I rather see some outside pressure making Brennan feel small in his position which then leads to unproductive outlets. I still think it’s quite unfair and low-key misogynist to blame this on Alexa.

  • @teamlovepanda
    @teamlovepanda Před rokem +3

    I feel like I should have waited to watch it with you 😅 I didn't know you were gonna discuss it. Your face when you saw zay 😅🤣 same girl!!!

  • @sarah-jl8cr
    @sarah-jl8cr Před rokem +7

    I only made it through the first ep and I am so happy that now I know I can just watch it with you and just leave these two other episodes on netflix alone. I fully agree on everything. Raven and Sk made me sad, the group turning Cole into some kind of antagonist and bullying him etc.

  • @bluedancelilly
    @bluedancelilly Před rokem +30

    Brennan is comfortable putting down the guys, but doesn't seem to hold his own in his own relationship.

  • @helenvalencia
    @helenvalencia Před rokem +10

    I love this channel! Regarding the Raven and SK situation, I really recommend the recent Nick Viall podcast in which he sat down with Raven . I am halfway though and everything makes sense . The relationship was real and sadly SK was dishonest and unfaithful. The tea is spilled and a lot of things start to add up once you hear Raven tell her story .

    • @Bee-gf8gn
      @Bee-gf8gn Před rokem

      Link: czcams.com/video/tGL6I7g7ntk/video.html

  • @Moony385
    @Moony385 Před rokem +1

    I like that u are talking about this unbiased (which makes sense since u are a therapist) ive seen some reviews that are downright negative all around

  • @BlackNella
    @BlackNella Před rokem

    I’ve been waiting for you to do this!!

  • @aathenaiz6151
    @aathenaiz6151 Před rokem +7

    when after the altar aired raven did a tiktok story (yes, those exist) and she said that she didn’t care of the footage and still believed zanab

  • @laurafreeman3335
    @laurafreeman3335 Před rokem

    I really like in general how you break the this showdown I have never watched the show but I like how you talked about the fact that you like it when you can see if someone's done something that you can have proof cuz I think there's a tendency to manipulate people sometimes and like think that it's okay sometimes it's hard to even you know trust people especially if there's not good

  • @couponglitz6554
    @couponglitz6554 Před rokem +4

    I’m excited to compare notes!! 😊

  • @spyduhgirl
    @spyduhgirl Před rokem +33

    Yes!!! You're right on the money
    👏👏👏 Zay is so emotionally immature and I'm hoping her therapist is calling her on her BS so she can reflect and deeply heal.

    • @basiccaucasian6234
      @basiccaucasian6234 Před rokem +7

      I found it interesting that she needed a male therapist specifically and said “I need a man to call me out.” No, girl, you need a professional to call you out and that’s the crux of it. Its totally fine to have a gender preference for your counselor for comfort level. I personally prefer to talk to other women. When Zay says it that way, though, it makes it feel like she’s bringing a weird dynamic to her relationship with her therapist. Maybe I’m extrapolating too much.

    • @WilliamsPinch
      @WilliamsPinch Před rokem +3

      I think her therapist just wants to keep her as a patient/client bc she has not matured any since the show 😂

  • @margaretfk
    @margaretfk Před rokem +2

    Yay I love that you're doing these episode by episode. Yours is the only take I want to hear on this show...it's such a mess

  • @RavishingSeas
    @RavishingSeas Před rokem

    Your videos are so good. Even aside from love is blind vids you make. All good stuff

  • @sashar.3223
    @sashar.3223 Před rokem +3

    I think Brennan is remembering what Cole said about Z behind her back to the guys in the beginning. Not what the cuties scene showed.
    Cole also told Z that he didn't find her as attractive as Colleen. All of those things happened early in the relationship, so it's possible that Z was holding that in and blew up inappropriately later down the line, as well as exaggerated future things that happened in her relationship with Cole.
    Cole isn't innocent, and Z isn't innocent.
    They both bullied each other

  • @versatilemc3087
    @versatilemc3087 Před rokem

    HAhahahahaa it was you diverting your eyes upwards regarding Bartise and his "why I fell in love with Nancy" comment for me ahahaha.

  • @node-ks
    @node-ks Před rokem +7

    Thank you for your review! I think this was filmed after the reunion, based on some of the confessionals in the following episodes

    • @CharisMaggieTV
      @CharisMaggieTV Před rokem +2

      Feels like it’s all over the place cuz there was no mention of a 2nd proposal in the reunion and then after the altar had mention of the cuties scene

    • @jenniferk4190
      @jenniferk4190 Před rokem +2

      It was filmed before the reunion.
      One proof is that Barrtise was surprised to see Nancy with blonde hair but she already had that hair color at the reunion.
      However some scenes were filmed after such as Raven crying and Cole playing with cuties

    • @node-ks
      @node-ks Před rokem

      @@jenniferk4190 tbh i dont think he noticed her hair at the reunion but i see what you’re saying

    • @jenniferk4190
      @jenniferk4190 Před rokem +1

      @@node-ks that's not what I meant to say.
      He was surprised to see her new hair color when they met at the restaurant in one of the after the altar episodes.

  • @louisea4920
    @louisea4920 Před rokem +3

    Raven did an interview telling the whole story and I believe her. SK is a total actor, it's insane.

  • @malissac7966
    @malissac7966 Před rokem +2

    I agree with you, I wish this was filmed after the reunion, and the footage of the cutie incident was released.

  • @Kakirachan
    @Kakirachan Před rokem +1

    Always love your videos Steph! Here are some movies with couples I’d love for you to analyze:
    Pride and Prejudice
    Love, Actually
    Shotgun Wedding
    Marry Me
    The Notebook

  • @tiarahall5794
    @tiarahall5794 Před rokem +4

    Took the words right out my mouth and facial expressions. I was really surprised to see Brendan and Alexa acting this way 😒

  • @MamaCancer23
    @MamaCancer23 Před rokem +6

    I think Brennan doesn’t get to say much in his normal environment so he’s speaking out else where 🤷🏾‍♀️😂 he seems so hush hush around Alexa & her family then when he’s with the guys there’s so much anger & judgement towards others. Idk what’s going on with him. Just my thoughts…

  • @BabyMarmelade
    @BabyMarmelade Před rokem

    I really love your videos ❤️

  • @amyl3921
    @amyl3921 Před rokem +1

    As a fellow therapist, it is wonderful to hear we agree on all accounts regarding evaluating these relationships with the minor information we have. I particularly agree with not appreciating the lack of evidence and bullying behavior towards Cole.

  • @KE-hr4sb
    @KE-hr4sb Před rokem +14

    UGH. These girls annoy me, they're like a hive-mind mean girl clique. "Stick by our girls even if she's wrong!" I feel so bad for Cole. I don't know if he's contractually obligated to be roped back into this repeatedly, but a part of me wishes he and Colleen would have given it a shot. Cole's not perfect, but Matt is scary. I feel like maybe Brennan is trying to re-assert some of his dominance. Wonder if Alexa "wearing the pants" bothers him more than he lets on.

  • @connie27100
    @connie27100 Před rokem +7

    As Bartise only saw Nancies blonde hair here, the exert of cole throwing around cuties makes it seem like it was after the main reunion rather than before it

    • @CallMeMari
      @CallMeMari Před rokem +1

      Right

    • @automaticcaptions
      @automaticcaptions Před 4 měsíci +1

      What is this cuties thing?

    • @grim524
      @grim524 Před 3 měsíci

      ​@@automaticcaptions At the reunion, Zanab claimed she was eating cuties when Cole tried to shame/control her eating. Cole claimed he didn't do that. At the end of the reunion, they rolled the footage of that event. It showed that Zanab had wildly distorted the situation, somewhat vindicating Cole. It's known as "the cuties scene".

    • @automaticcaptions
      @automaticcaptions Před 3 měsíci

      @@grim524 oh ty. I kept hearing about this and was left thinking that Cole make a commment on that Terrible Netflix movie Cuties

  • @claraespinoza5048
    @claraespinoza5048 Před rokem +1

    YAY!! My notifications worked lol

  • @Lovethyself887
    @Lovethyself887 Před rokem +3

    Filming - May through July (4th July was the wedding) 2021
    ATA - August 2022
    Reunion special - October 2022
    Cheating scandal revealed - November 2022
    So everything was filmed before it was aired at the end of October, aside from the last Raven scene.

  • @grumylynn
    @grumylynn Před rokem

    Love your channel :)

  • @MaryJoHeadrick
    @MaryJoHeadrick Před rokem +32

    I've seen a couple interviews with the girls after seeing the cuties incident and from what i remember, Alexa and colleen both said that they heard and saw things Cole said to Zay that they were not okay with and that the cuties incident was basically irrelevant to them. I also watched a reaction video from Pyschologyy in Seattle where he basically said that what Zanab said happened was how she interpretted Cole's comments/the situation. She wasn't necessarily lying, and she probably saw the recap and still felt that he'd attacked her body because that's her trigger. idk I think Zay was extremely triggered by Cole and he got on my last nerve. If you do ever decide to do a video on Brenan and Alexa I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on his DV accusations.

    • @shorts-gc3bp
      @shorts-gc3bp Před rokem +2

      Wait, what DV accusations? :o

    • @aathenaiz6151
      @aathenaiz6151 Před rokem +8

      @@shorts-gc3bp look it up on the love is blind reddit, he assaulted his ex

    • @MaryJoHeadrick
      @MaryJoHeadrick Před rokem

      @@shorts-gc3bp I saw the report on Reddit, pretty sure you can Google it but i haven't tried. He posted bail a few weeks before going on the show, allegedly he threw a girl he was dating against a wall and gave her a concussion after she wouldn't leave his house. I think the charges were dropped later or something bc he wasn't tried.

    • @Molly-iw1rc
      @Molly-iw1rc Před rokem +20

      I like this take, I don't think Zanab is purposefully being a bully to Cole, and I don't think everyone is blindly following her, I think they meant it when they said they heard him say things that were suspicious and that influenced their view of him. I don't think dog piling him so often is helpful, but I think Zanab is hurt by something and I don't think calling her crazy or a bully is helping her or Cole.

    • @MaryJoHeadrick
      @MaryJoHeadrick Před rokem +13

      @@Molly-iw1rc Agree, I definitely think the cast didn't/doesn't handle the cole conflict the best, and I don't think he intentionally did anything awful. I still hate his interviews where he says shit about "women these days" and feminism and how girls are like x while guys are like y and his overall super sexist attitude. I know other people are like that too, but imo that doesn't make anything better.

  • @anjelicac4338
    @anjelicac4338 Před rokem +1

    It’s interesting you pointed out After the Alter was filmed before the reunion because I remember seeing Raven walk over to SK to hug him and call him her man and she seemed shut off but she just has that vibe sometimes haha. That’s wild they made her hug him and all that if that came out. Maybe that clip at the end of her crying was filmed right after the reunion? I can see Vanessa being all over that convo if it did come out then. Thinking out loud 😂

    • @oliviaoconnor2201
      @oliviaoconnor2201 Před rokem +3

      I think all the cheating stuff came out after the reunion aired. So that video would have been filmed after the reunion but around that time

    • @anjelicac4338
      @anjelicac4338 Před rokem

      @@oliviaoconnor2201 ok I remember it that way also, like very soon after the reunion. Maybe she was embarrassed about production making her walk across the room to him idk

  • @shanellypooh
    @shanellypooh Před rokem +3

    I think I would also like your opinions on the parent test. I know it’s controversial because they turned it into a competition but I really like the conversations that they’re having. If they do a second season, I hope they do away with the competitive aspects and focus on the conversations.

  • @PLMoraba
    @PLMoraba Před rokem +9

    Crazy thing is that I still don't see SK's red flags in these clips

    • @sheikay3380
      @sheikay3380 Před rokem +4

      Same! I think there should be a video on him specifically on how he fooled everyone! That's a skill and it's scary. 😨

    • @RoRo_X2
      @RoRo_X2 Před rokem

      @@sheikay3380 agreed

  • @OneOfAKindJEM
    @OneOfAKindJEM Před rokem +4

    Please review the movie Smile. I'm interested from a psychological standpoint on how a licensed therapist would react. Thank you! Love your channel!

  • @Self-helper415
    @Self-helper415 Před rokem +3

    I have not watched this season of this show. I did watch the very 1st season. I do agree with the none judgmental stance on how couples chose to “do” their marriage, everyone has a reason they decide and if it works for them they can also decide that they don’t have to explain it to anyone either 🤭. People tend to project their own views onto others and that is often problematic and even more problematic if one doesn’t know who they are ❤

  • @GenesisBe
    @GenesisBe Před 11 měsíci

    love your content!

  • @Rbee89
    @Rbee89 Před rokem +4

    Not a fan of who Brennan has become. He is literally just following his wife. I think his frustration comes from within. He is just accepting everything his wife and her family say including the critiques/suggestion his wife makes about their sex life. He does not look happy to me.

  • @ania5038
    @ania5038 Před rokem +2

    At this point all I can say is good job to Raven for showing so much emotional growth and she is so beautiful lol

  • @LearnPolishwithEvaKam
    @LearnPolishwithEvaKam Před rokem +7

    Brennan seems to take everything out on others since he can't even speak up to Alexa... buuuuu , what a bad act seriously.

  • @sumayzebecreating
    @sumayzebecreating Před rokem +1

    Watch Dr. Steph's face everytime SK comes on the screen! Lol 😆🤣

  • @ImaniSmilen
    @ImaniSmilen Před rokem +2

    We are unsure of when this filmed because when you get to episode 3, they speak on SK’s second proposal. However at the reunion, they just say they are still dating, she didn’t have an engagement ring on there. They must have filmed all these at the same time.

  • @Sough
    @Sough Před rokem +14

    That look up to the camera 22:16 lolll. Bartidse would be the worst if it weren't for the rest of the trash contestants this year

  • @ebonywilkes
    @ebonywilkes Před rokem

    Was waiting for you to watch the very end where Raven did address the SK situation..

  • @blackjackstacks
    @blackjackstacks Před 4 měsíci

    Hello Steph Anya, love your insight and always look forward to your videos ❤ Just wondering, when you say that you need evidence, even from a friend, would that be context specific or is that in every case? For instance, you have a friend who has a tendency to exaggerate, so you might need to ask for more clarity and/or information whereas you might not need to fact check the friend who is typically more nuanced and fair in their takes?

  • @ericarobinson1845
    @ericarobinson1845 Před rokem +5

    Yessss!! Thank you for saying this about Cole. I don’t understand the group bullying- like you said there’s no proof of why everyone hates on him so much. I just don’t see it at all. I felt Zay humiliated him and degraded him & don’t understand at all why she felt he deserved that. No proof - just looks like she has a lot of insecurities.

  • @amari4620
    @amari4620 Před rokem +2

    Coleen and Matt have the most triggering relationship. At any moment Matt might snap at any moment at one misunderstanding. Makes me relive my ex.

  • @picassojulien899
    @picassojulien899 Před rokem +4

    I find it funny how nancy and raven can make jokes about cole but bartise never wanted nancy and sk literally declined raven and was doing stuff. Nasty behavior

  • @MelanieC1124
    @MelanieC1124 Před rokem +3

    Raven did an interview with Nick Viall that came out a few days ago. She spilled the tea and I would love to hear your perspective on it!

  • @taylorortiz9962
    @taylorortiz9962 Před rokem +3

    Please listen to the podcast raven just did! She did like a tell all/behind the scenes of what was going on throughout her time with Sk. It definitely gives a ton of insight.