One of the best movies I ever saw. So well done, that doesn't even seems like a movie. It was almost like I was the camera and I was looking everything as a bystander and everything was real. That's how immersive, organic, pure and natural the movie and every single character felt to me. They look like real humans beings, and most of the human reactions it's portrait in this movie looks just like a human, on that situation, that age and gender, would react in more often occasions than it is normally portrait in most of movies. It's so perfect, so real, that's even hard to believe someone created this movie. And I'm talking using my knowledge and experience as a psychologist. I wish there was more movies like this one, showing how perfectly imperfectly we all are. Looking forward for your next work Lukas Dhont.
I saw this film about a week ago, was suggested to me by a lifelong friend because she vaguely knew of a tragedy I endured as a young 13 year old. And so I reluctantly went into this film knowing really nothing about it and do not make a habit of watching anything related to the world of, either indirectly or directly, that involves sexually themed content. Either gay or straight. Which refreshingly this film wisely didn't really focus on even though the film easily could have evolved into a more pronounced ideological or political statement or scenario that in my mind could've unintentionally tainted the pure richness that Lukas Dhont intended for this film. A week later, I cannot stop thinking about this film. And grieving. Useless to the core with my daily routines that I've lost interest with for now. I, like the boys in this film, enjoyed an incredibly rich, intense, affectionate and loving relationship with my best friend who was a year younger than myself as a child. It was purely a platonic yet affectionate and loving friendship that I now feel can only be found during that same cusp between childhood and puberty that Dhont explained in the interview. Before society begins putting these damned labels on what masculinity should be. My friend and I were inseparable, joined at the hips. Very, almost identically in the same way as the two boys in this film. There was no inhibitions about expressing affection and devotion towards each other. Whether playing, riding our bikes, being in front of and interacting with our prospective families... We didnt care how anything looked and there was absolutely nothing negative spewed at us by any family member. This was at a time in the 1970's where any semblance of male intimacy was frowned upon. But there was no sexual connotations or tension related to that between us. Then, unlike the boys in the film who never got to say goodbye, my friend was badly injured by a car. Right at the zenith of our friendship. I remember my parents rushing me to the hospital. Just before my friend was going to be wheeled into surgery. Seeing him in the emergency room laying there mangled and barely conscious. They told me I had 2 minutes to stand next to him before they had to go work on him. Two minutes to sum up my friendship with him. Through tears I managed to say I love you and to tell him to please come back, that I needed him. I couldn't even hug or hold him, like I frequently did before. He didnt come back. Died in surgery. It destroyed me. I couldn't talk about any of it with either his or my parents nor anyone else. His parents were so lost in their grief that somehow they couldn't include me in their grief. So I shut myself off. For the next decade afterwards I abused alcohol, playing over and over again in my mind the things and the joyful memories that my best friend and I enjoyed. I could not and didn't want to form new friendships with anyone for fear that it would make me forget my friend or run the risk of losing another person that might leave me too. It wasn't until my early 30's when I got married to a wonderful lady and by that time I just basically shut out any memories I had of him. She never knew anything about it. But I was able to cope relatively ok. Until i saw this film last week. Lukas's film opened the flood gates on suppressed emotions that I've held in for so many decades. The further I progressed into the film the night I watched it, the more I became wracked with sadness, an utterly deep longing for my long dead best friend. Guilt for not telling him more words from the heart when we were young. A total breakdown of emotional cohesion that even now I'm struggling to get back while writing this. Dhont's depiction of these two friends in his film couldn't have been done with anymore empathy and visually stunning scenes and performances by these young boys. The tenderness, love and devotion between these two boys mirrored my own experience so, so much. I was angry at the highly unnecessary reason why their friendship fell apart. The way Dhont prepped them for their roles, their natural demeanor on screen, the purely natural way they interacted with each other was almost too unbearable to watch as it mirrored my own experience so closely. It was obvious these two boys were best friends long before shooting ever began, much to Dhont's credit for his meticulous style. I would suspect that the reason why there wasn't a dry eye in the house that night the film premiered at Cannes was because it resonated so much with everyone, especially men because I now realize that mostly all of us had that one friend as a child that we would've done anything for and loved so much and then society just had to tear apart without mercy. I'm lucky I didnt experience the bias and name calling and hatefulness with my friend that could've happened. Death killed our friendship. But nevertheless I now have a new perspective and understanding of male friendships that sorely needs to be recognized in this world. This film has allowed me to finally get past my experience and to fully grieve and accept now that my friend is gone. I'm nowhere near done but Lukas has given me a new hope that I can shed this solemn roadblock to my recovery. I feel he created an oulet, in a beautiful way, for many men to finally acknowledge to themselves and others that what they may have had in childhood friendships was real, meaningful and something to cherish. I cherished my friend and loved him with everything I had. I hope I can now speak freely from the highest rooftops without fear of being ostracized. I am straight. But I know what I had then was real and wouldn't change anything except to be more vocal with my friend if I could go back and do it all over again. But without the regrets I've lived with for so many years. The film was agonizing to watch and left me feeling sore all over as if I'd been pummeled by a 300 lb Gorilla. There will probably never be another film as successful and heartfelt as this one where young male friendships are so tastefully and lovingly produced.
What a great interview, so many details I missed about the movie. I will watch it again in a different way. I must say I need to get up the courage to watch it again...I cried in a way that I knew there are things in me that are still hidden and regretted to be.
Ditto. A very insightful & interesting interview, great questions from the interviewer, and Lukas is a true pleasure to listen to. I was so overwhelmed with emotions when I watched this film in a cinema a few weeks ago, that I also missed a lot of nuances and poignant imagery they are talking about. I would certainly like to rewatch the movie at some point, but will have to brace myself for it first.
This film destroyed me as I stated in my comments above. After watching this interview, I'm not sure I can revisit it just yet. The film knocked the wind out of me, hit harder than anything else I've seen in my life and I cried. Cried like I've never cried before. All of the characters, especially the boys, were so, so genuine and real. It just tore me to pieces and brought back memories of a long ago friendship that I wish I could get back, very similar to the loving and devoted affection these boys experienced. Lukas Dhont is forever in my heart for what he's done with this and I'm hoping to grieve a friendship that long ago ended in tragedy and finally get past it. And I never again will have any negative or condescending thoughts regarding male friendships. I know they are real and this patently disgusting way society has to label them has to stop. I wouldn't have said nor dared to think any of this until a week ago when I saw the film for the first time. I wished I had known about this film 2 years ago when it came out. Or even years ago. I could've saved years of regret and sorrow and be able to put to rest the agony of losing a boy who was my best friend at the age of 13. The utter sadness this film invoked didn't feel contrived or fake at all. Which is why I won't watch films if I know there's some tearjerking element in it. But this was different, especially since it hit so close to home for me. After seeing this interview, I'll watch it again. But in a way I'm not looking forward to it. The wounds are deep from watching this, as deep as the wounds are from a tragedy I experienced in my childhood. But this film was done with such agonizingly beautiful and loving empathy that I know I'm going to have to watch it again. If only to heal just a little bit more.
One of the best movies I ever saw. So well done, that doesn't even seems like a movie. It was almost like I was the camera and I was looking everything as a bystander and everything was real. That's how immersive, organic, pure and natural the movie and every single character felt to me. They look like real humans beings, and most of the human reactions it's portrait in this movie looks just like a human, on that situation, that age and gender, would react in more often occasions than it is normally portrait in most of movies. It's so perfect, so real, that's even hard to believe someone created this movie. And I'm talking using my knowledge and experience as a psychologist. I wish there was more movies like this one, showing how perfectly imperfectly we all are. Looking forward for your next work Lukas Dhont.
He has words for things I feel in my self but never could point them out. Thank you Lukas Dhont
Best film I have seen in a very long time
A Creative imaginative, Intelligent ,eloquent Director -writer .....hope to see more from him
i cannot stop crying about this movie
Thanks for this delightful interview with Lukas. And the interviewer was excellent and asked great questions!
Love the movie but I also really like this discussion. I learned things from the director that didn't come up in other interviews.
I saw this film about a week ago, was suggested to me by a lifelong friend because she vaguely knew of a tragedy I endured as a young 13 year old. And so I reluctantly went into this film knowing really nothing about it and do not make a habit of watching anything related to the world of, either indirectly or directly, that involves sexually themed content. Either gay or straight. Which refreshingly this film wisely didn't really focus on even though the film easily could have evolved into a more pronounced ideological or political statement or scenario that in my mind could've unintentionally tainted the pure richness that Lukas Dhont intended for this film.
A week later, I cannot stop thinking about this film. And grieving. Useless to the core with my daily routines that I've lost interest with for now.
I, like the boys in this film, enjoyed an incredibly rich, intense, affectionate and loving relationship with my best friend who was a year younger than myself as a child. It was purely a platonic yet affectionate and loving friendship that I now feel can only be found during that same cusp between childhood and puberty that Dhont explained in the interview. Before society begins putting these damned labels on what masculinity should be. My friend and I were inseparable, joined at the hips. Very, almost identically in the same way as the two boys in this film. There was no inhibitions about expressing affection and devotion towards each other. Whether playing, riding our bikes, being in front of and interacting with our prospective families... We didnt care how anything looked and there was absolutely nothing negative spewed at us by any family member. This was at a time in the 1970's where any semblance of male intimacy was frowned upon. But there was no sexual connotations or tension related to that between us.
Then, unlike the boys in the film who never got to say goodbye, my friend was badly injured by a car. Right at the zenith of our friendship. I remember my parents rushing me to the hospital. Just before my friend was going to be wheeled into surgery. Seeing him in the emergency room laying there mangled and barely conscious. They told me I had 2 minutes to stand next to him before they had to go work on him. Two minutes to sum up my friendship with him. Through tears I managed to say I love you and to tell him to please come back, that I needed him. I couldn't even hug or hold him, like I frequently did before. He didnt come back. Died in surgery. It destroyed me. I couldn't talk about any of it with either his or my parents nor anyone else. His parents were so lost in their grief that somehow they couldn't include me in their grief. So I shut myself off. For the next decade afterwards I abused alcohol, playing over and over again in my mind the things and the joyful memories that my best friend and I enjoyed. I could not and didn't want to form new friendships with anyone for fear that it would make me forget my friend or run the risk of losing another person that might leave me too. It wasn't until my early 30's when I got married to a wonderful lady and by that time I just basically shut out any memories I had of him. She never knew anything about it. But I was able to cope relatively ok. Until i saw this film last week.
Lukas's film opened the flood gates on suppressed emotions that I've held in for so many decades. The further I progressed into the film the night I watched it, the more I became wracked with sadness, an utterly deep longing for my long dead best friend. Guilt for not telling him more words from the heart when we were young. A total breakdown of emotional cohesion that even now I'm struggling to get back while writing this.
Dhont's depiction of these two friends in his film couldn't have been done with anymore empathy and visually stunning scenes and performances by these young boys. The tenderness, love and devotion between these two boys mirrored my own experience so, so much. I was angry at the highly unnecessary reason why their friendship fell apart. The way Dhont prepped them for their roles, their natural demeanor on screen, the purely natural way they interacted with each other was almost too unbearable to watch as it mirrored my own experience so closely. It was obvious these two boys were best friends long before shooting ever began, much to Dhont's credit for his meticulous style. I would suspect that the reason why there wasn't a dry eye in the house that night the film premiered at Cannes was because it resonated so much with everyone, especially men because I now realize that mostly all of us had that one friend as a child that we would've done anything for and loved so much and then society just had to tear apart without mercy. I'm lucky I didnt experience the bias and name calling and hatefulness with my friend that could've happened. Death killed our friendship. But nevertheless I now have a new perspective and understanding of male friendships that sorely needs to be recognized in this world. This film has allowed me to finally get past my experience and to fully grieve and accept now that my friend is gone. I'm nowhere near done but Lukas has given me a new hope that I can shed this solemn roadblock to my recovery. I feel he created an oulet, in a beautiful way, for many men to finally acknowledge to themselves and others that what they may have had in childhood friendships was real, meaningful and something to cherish. I cherished my friend and loved him with everything I had. I hope I can now speak freely from the highest rooftops without fear of being ostracized. I am straight. But I know what I had then was real and wouldn't change anything except to be more vocal with my friend if I could go back and do it all over again. But without the regrets I've lived with for so many years. The film was agonizing to watch and left me feeling sore all over as if I'd been pummeled by a 300 lb Gorilla. There will probably never be another film as successful and heartfelt as this one where young male friendships are so tastefully and lovingly produced.
What a great interview, so many details I missed about the movie. I will watch it again in a different way.
I must say I need to get up the courage to watch it again...I cried in a way that I knew there are things in me that are still hidden and regretted to be.
Ditto. A very insightful & interesting interview, great questions from the interviewer, and Lukas is a true pleasure to listen to. I was so overwhelmed with emotions when I watched this film in a cinema a few weeks ago, that I also missed a lot of nuances and poignant imagery they are talking about. I would certainly like to rewatch the movie at some point, but will have to brace myself for it first.
This film destroyed me as I stated in my comments above. After watching this interview, I'm not sure I can revisit it just yet. The film knocked the wind out of me, hit harder than anything else I've seen in my life and I cried. Cried like I've never cried before. All of the characters, especially the boys, were so, so genuine and real. It just tore me to pieces and brought back memories of a long ago friendship that I wish I could get back, very similar to the loving and devoted affection these boys experienced. Lukas Dhont is forever in my heart for what he's done with this and I'm hoping to grieve a friendship that long ago ended in tragedy and finally get past it. And I never again will have any negative or condescending thoughts regarding male friendships. I know they are real and this patently disgusting way society has to label them has to stop. I wouldn't have said nor dared to think any of this until a week ago when I saw the film for the first time. I wished I had known about this film 2 years ago when it came out. Or even years ago. I could've saved years of regret and sorrow and be able to put to rest the agony of losing a boy who was my best friend at the age of 13. The utter sadness this film invoked didn't feel contrived or fake at all. Which is why I won't watch films if I know there's some tearjerking element in it. But this was different, especially since it hit so close to home for me. After seeing this interview, I'll watch it again. But in a way I'm not looking forward to it. The wounds are deep from watching this, as deep as the wounds are from a tragedy I experienced in my childhood. But this film was done with such agonizingly beautiful and loving empathy that I know I'm going to have to watch it again. If only to heal just a little bit more.
A really good movie is, when it doesn´t end, when you have watched it. When it´s the beginning...