Paul Blart seven days a week
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- čas přidán 27. 05. 2024
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seven days of watching Paul Blart. this video is all that remains.
0:00 intro
1:18 blart begins
2:42 blart at the mall
4:17 blart in love
6:27 party hard blart
9:10 die hard blart
15:02 paul saves mall
17:32 my blartfeels: paulsitives
19:01 my blartfeels: negatives
22:55 conclusion
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I love the sheer honesty of admitting on the DVD commentary they have no idea whats going on in the movie.
the funny thing is what Paul does is meaningless. Its just money getting stolen electronically from big chain stores. The bank can undo the theft with no problem, its insured even if the bank has their files fucked with, and honestly who gives a fuck if a multi-billion dollar company DOES lose the profits from one store on a weekend.
He risks his life and the lives of the hostages to protect corporate profit.
I love how often DVD commentary is just people shitting on the movie. Armageddon's is pretty much just Ben Affleck shitting on it and making fun of Michael Bay.
@HKosiris Yeah but he still agreed to do the movie
@@wintermoon7003they act for a living. If it pays, many actors will do it. Even if it obvious sucks.
@@wintermoon7003 He got thousands of dollars of dental work out of it too.
Sounds like you need to do an interview with the guys behind 'Til Death do us Blart', an annual podcast in which the participants have agreed to watch the second Paul Blart movie once a year until they die
My favorite podcast ever. Until the day I die.
why the 2nd specifically and not the first or all of them?
technically after they die they'll pass the podcast down to someone else
the end goal is to keep watching the second paul blart movie once a year until the sun explodes
@@2-Way_Intersection because it’s funny obviously to just do the second. It’s the mcelroy brothers and the guys from the worst idea of all time.
@@2-Way_Intersection today, right now, I learned there’s more than one.
What have I been doing with my LIFE!?!?!?&!..’k
Its not about kevin james falling down, its about him standing back up
This statement actually goes hard
This movie came out in 2009 and you can tell it was written during the 2008 writer's strike.
So that’s why the plot makes so much sense 🤔
@@davidfl4it’s far more coherent than say revenge of the fallen comparatively
Now you can have the honour of watching Paul Blart 2 all of next week.
"Mall Blarb Marb Plarp Barb Blarp"
Since it's 2, shouldn't it be for a fortnight?
No that one's actually bad
So he needs the second movie 2 times per day or 2 weeks every day
There's a podcast called Til Death Do Us Blart, where they watch PB2 every American Thanksgiving for the rest of their lives. Great case study for what repeated Blart exposure does to a person lol
A formative memory i have with my dad is going to see this in theaters while my mom was out of town. I had never seen a movie so bad in theaters yet (i was like 11), so about halfway through i asked my dad if you were “allowed to leave a movie theater before the movies over.” he just sighed so deep and miserably said “technically yes, but this was like $20 dollar a pop that we can’t get back so let’s just see it through.”
I learned so much about the world that day.
This comment made my day 😂
Cap
You 2 must've felt depressed after seeing it when your mom came back
Dang your dude sucks, you can get a refund for a movie even if you watch the whole thing. I have had to leave plenty of movies and i always got a refund.
Plot twist her dad really liked the movie
"im commander kent" followed immediately by 3 different ians on 3 different days saying "im commander cunt" in exact unison is infinitely funnier than anything this movie wrought
I like the formatting. Instead of doing the normal “Start on day one, move onto two, etc.” you just seeded in your reactions from any given day. A lot of fun to watch.
I respect the relatable issue of not remembering someone's name despite watching the movie 7 days in a row.
i just give them new names
Movies introduce someone and tell you their name and then never say their name again. Some people are fine with this. Other people with peanut brain memories like me functionally don't even hear it the first time.
@@Kryptnyt To be honest, I hardly remember any character names from anything unless it's something I'm already familiar with.
@@mythmaker6554same here, i was also dating my current bf and forgot his name at one point. I'm hopeless lol😂
"Watching Paul Blart seven days a week."
You basically just described my childhood.
I’m so happy our boy Ian is reviewing a movie again!! And it’s Paul Blart?!
I’ve watched his TV/movie reviews at least once a year!! So this is another treat on the yearly watch!
Rip. My parents used to rent movies and not return them, so we’d have the same thing playing all day everyday for idek how long 🤦♂️ I blame my trauma and on this
For your sake, I hope you're blissfully unaware that you had a bad childhood.
My family based a fucking holiday off this film
@@elenasayshi I need details of the Paul Blart inspired holiday
The actor he mentions at 6:15 is Stephen Rannazzisi.
His Career was on a upward trajectory until he went on Marc Maron's podcast and told a story about being in one of the towers on 9/11.
Of course he completely made it up and got called out for it.
Needless to say, his career crashed and burned faster than those planes that hit the towers.
Wow that’s wild!! I can’t believe someone would do that knowing it could be easily fact checked.
wow you were not kidding about his career crashing and burning, he hasn't been in anything since 2018
This is the kinda Blart lore I needed in my life, the douche bag pen salesman guy lied about being a part of a national tragedy. My headcanon continues to expand
I knew him from The League, never heard about this, wow!
He's also expressed deep regret about that lie and has seemed to come to understand how wrong it was.
The fact this didn't begin with 'I've not seen such bravery' is a shame bc the bravery of what Ian did here is incredible.
I miss that audio! Too bad it got corrupted!
@steelmote It's just a sound effect from the arcade game Gauntlet, so you could probably find it pretty easily that way.
We have a several kilometers and a buried library filled with warcrimes. Take your pick :)
@@wintermoon7003 I mean if it got corrupted can’t Ian just get it again?
@@wintermoon7003wait what?😅 really?
This was a missed opportunity to put Brutalmalls as the heading again smh
watching peak cinema for 7days
“This is cinema”
-Martin Scorsese
NACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - Nacho Libre.
Not Shrek🤨?
@@Duncaster This is cinema fr - Martin Scorcese
He should have watched it in increasing frequency as well. Day 2, two times. Day 3, three times, etc.
Love the different 7 day reactions. Added a lot to the video. CHEERS.
Same, Peeby.
Hey it's the zelda guy!
You can see the life leave him after each day
Peebs you should do the Mario movie with the same format. Pretty please 🥺
I grew up near the mall where they filmed Paul Blart and one of the crowning achievements of my life is going to see the movie on opening night in the theater right next to that mall
B moose should do a mall review tho
AMC Cinema 10 👀
The definition of a "guilty pleasure". Die Hard in a mall with a doofy fat guy, but James' dedication to the role is what makes it. At no point do you doubt that this is his mall, and he will serve and protect it at all costs.
You cracked the code
it was pretty obvious he cared immensely about the role
too bad the rest of the scenes in either of the movies didn’t entirely reflect that
@@connor48880 I would go to bat for the first one on this regard, but the second one is the most disappointed I've been in my entire life. I walked out of that theater a changed man, and not for the better
Absolutely. Sad the second one was just a shitty cash grab.
As a kid I had never seen any actual action movies at the point I saw this movie so I actually remember this movie feeling really intense and badass 😂
2:54 Fun fact. The mom in that shot is Kevin James' actual wife. So I'm pretty sure that is one of Kevin's actual kids that he hands the bag to.
it is, in fact, his daughter.
I love when stuff like that happens in movies.
@@MoeChicken i assume the reason why is both for fun and for the kids to have a build up resume in film/ possible royalties?
Damn his wife is fine ngl
@@skullcandy14785 or easier to work with, when it is your own daughter
It’s honestly impressive that Ian accurately guessed that Paul’s marriage ending is exactly how the first movie begins, less than a minute in
my mom got really into Poldark when it started airing on PBS, but she pronounces Poldark so that it sounds a lot like Paul Blart, so when she told me she was watching Poldark every night, I thought she was doing literally this.
I love how little Ian remembers about the plot considering that he watched the movie 7 times.
There's an amazing podcast called The Worst Idea of All Time where they watch Grown Ups 2 every week for a year and it takes them an astonishingly long time to fully recap the plot lol
Hey you got two of the letters of her name right not bad for seven straight days of watching!
im glad someone appreciates my skills
Watching people's opinions change and struggles to keep engaged over multiple viewings is so good. The podcast "Till Death Do Us Blart" does it with Mall Cop 2 once a year and the origin podcast "Worst Idea of All Time" does it once a week for a year for each movie
I like how Ian's content has evolved from standard video game review channel, to an arg that goes over old tv specials, to an unhinged cooking channel, and now he's just watching Paul Blart 7 days in a row for some reason. I don't understand it but I'm here for it.
Wish he got around to concluding that ARG tbh
i love how unnecessarily far they went with the die hard parody to the point they made it inexplicably during christmas despite having nothing to do with the day otherwise
I feel like there's enough comedy potential with just "fat mall security guard on Black Friday" without the romance angle and credit card fraud angle.
Yeah, they were trying to just stuff anything in and hope it worked. Honestly, if they had gone with a more action angle with better comedy, they could have had a pretty solid Die Hard parody with an uplifting message about being average/old/disabled/etc. You can sort of see it, but they mostly squander it
Fun fact: the mall where parts of this movie were filmed was my childhood mall that I went to practically every weekend as a kid. I distinctly remember seeing some of the fake stores they mocked up for the scenes they filmed there as well as the out of season Santa’s Village. I have eaten at that Legal Seafoods and Rainforest Café more times than I can remember. Very surreal to know that I have walked the same ground that Paul Blart’s Segway has rolled on…
That is pretty cool.
it's a shame a lot of the stores and restaurants no longer exist, hell they completely changed the entry way of the mall since then
18:15 I like how cold and methodical day 5 Ian is compared to every other Ian. He doesn’t even crack a smile, he has work to do.
You really never know what the hell Moosy will upload, and that's what makes him great.
“Moosy” is one of the best nicknames I’ve heard.
That Hello Fresh plug in was absolutely amazing! All I want in life is to be friends with the guy because it would only include sarcasm and laughing at all times
@@Rafviel he hates it :D even made a bit out of it when he colabs with caddicarus
The handing the kid a bag thing actually works. A lot of kids will cry over things that are really just minor fixations, and if you can distract them from it by giving them something to do, it stops them from focusing on them and calms them down. Also, kids are really stupid.
Uh the kid wasn’t crying and it was just an excuse to use the actor’s family in a scene; those are his real wife and kids
@@maddieb.4282 I dont know If im supposed to laugh or cry at this comment.
@@NKDuisburg02 Quick, hold this bag to distract you!
Don’t you dare try and speak reason and logic into the Lynchian classic that is Paul Blart: Mall Cop.
That scene is actually a reference to the film “the red balloon” in which a boy befriends a red balloon. James has been quoted as being a big fan of French cinema, especially that in the pre-new wave era of the 60s and 70s, and he insisted on this scene being included. The bag is the child’s friend, her seemingly only real connection because as you can see, her mother is only barely holding her hand - the connection is broken but tethered. As Blart hands the bag(the red balloon) back to the child, the mothers hand on her daughter grips harder than ever before and Blart has reformed the connection between mother and child.
Before Blart speeds away to show kindness and healing to more who are so lucky to pass him, he gives a thumbs up, Something we all associate with the understanding of safe zones in the case of nuclear fallout. You would use your thumb against the horizon to check if you are safe from the blast. We can see that Blart does this and if testing the angle, his thumb is at a safe distance from the child’s nuke face. This was a meta Easter egg in regards to the fact that Kevin James wishes he never had children and instead would love to work and please only himself.
The artist, James, includes so many little moments into his films that it is up to us to watch and watch and watch them.
How many children have you dealt with? Because most of the ones I've been with haven't been stupid. Last holiday my sibling's 2-year-old would momentarily be distracted by safe toys but then started to point and whine again towards a room they had found a plastic bag in, until eventually crying when they realized we'd keep refusing their pleas.
I think the fact that Paul Blart didn't really accomplish anything is part of the point. He didn't save the day, and he flubbed all the badass stuff, but he was genuinely trying to help every step of the way. He was an earnest character in a mall full of jackasses. In that sense, he kind of mirrors Rocky in the first movie: A down-on-his-luck loser who ultimately fails, but it turns out he didn't need to succeed to be respected. He proved what he was capable of, however little it was, and he won the love of his life for it.
Y'know, until the love of his life divorces him and he has to be a bumbling idiot a second time for the box office bucks. God, these movies suck.
The McElroy brothers have a podcast “Til Death Do Us Blart” where they only watch Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 once a year every year until the end of time
They are truly a content factory huh
Can't wait to see "watching Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 seven days a week"
The best movie of all time?
Can't say I've seen it, but I don't doubt it's quality.
It can only go downhill from here
@@frds_skce I'm sorry but Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 is a work of art
How about "watching Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 every year until you die"
This is a certified brutalmoose classic.
Media breakdowns like this are peak moosey!
Ian's videos are that unnaturally cozy day you had a few years ago that you think about from time to time
Fun Fact: Some parts of the mall were shot at a local mall I use to go to called the Burlington Mall in Massachusetts. It was neat.
If Die Hard is a Christmas movie, so is Paul Blart
No.
Hans Grüber's plan requires it to be Christmas specifically, and John McClane wouldn't be there in a position that allows his actions if it weren't Christmas.
In Paul Blart, ANY event at the mall would allow the same scenario to play out.
The holiday has to be integral to the plot for it to be a true Christmas movie, not just taking place at that time of year.
"The Princess Bride" (tied for my all-time favorite movie, and an absolute masterpiece) has the scenes with Peter Falk and Fred Savage take place at Christmas, but it's not remotely a Christmas movie either.
the real thing getting in the way of paul blart being a christmas movie is that it sucks so nobody wants to watch it yearly
Now this is the cinematic discourse I really love to see.
Neither are.
@@totz_the_plaid9625 taking place at some point during the Christmas season “Happy holidays” 😅 and being a Christmas movie are two completely different things.
14:23 15:39 i love that the plop joke is still going
Next you're gonna have to do the Blart Side of the Mall, where you sync up the second film with Dark Side of the Moon. It is an essential life experience.
I didn't know this was a thing, thank you for my plans next weekend
till death do us blart
I was thinking about this too.
Being a diabetic, having a hypoglycaemic event is like tripping balls big time. Everything turns into fractals and you think the world around you is fake. So maybe instead of falling asleep Officer Blart should've gone ape-shit.
3:28 the shot you hate is Kevin's real-life wife making a cameo. That could be his real kid(s) too, I don't recall their ages at the time of the movie
That’s cool! His wife is very pretty.
Lol that's funny
Paul Blart gives me warm feelings like I'm back in 2009. Back when games like Rock Band were popular and the iPhone was barely off it's feet.
Its* feet.
i agree
15:00 "floop is a madman, help us, save us!" Made me pause the video to laugh, so good
The comparison of all 7 reactions was so precious, haha. I love how some parts wore you down over time, and other parts got the same reaction. I'm frustrated that I wanted Paul Blart to be a better movie, lol
Holy crap you actually did it.
I hated how dimly lit it was the entire time, but I still enjoy it.
Ok
What are you doing here ?! Lmao
Well.... Did not expect to see you here
Really was felt kinda depressing but still good movie
@@coryifxckinhateyou9399 False
This man has both Myst and Pyst. He's unstoppable!
That's quite a Lyst.
Do you get the Jyst?
I'm already in stitches and its only 5:25 LMAO watching seven days of ian react to the same shot at once is hilarious, this is a great format
This movie is like warm sweat pants from the dryer. It’s comforting and warm but at the end of the day it’s just good sweat pants….. nothing special but the love for both the pants and movie is gold.
I'm having an absolutely abysmal day, but I think "Paul Blart Disease" just made the sun come up from behind the clouds.
the "plop" sound effect is truly something you have blessed us with
i know everyone rags on this movie but it has such a special place in my heart because i remember deciding to watch it with my mom in the middle of the night when i was around 8 and the scene where he tries to jump to a car and misses made us laugh so hard we had to shut the door
The shot where he gives the kid the bag is actually with his real wife and kids.
I remember getting so obsessed with the Johnny Depp version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when it came out, I insisted on watching it every single day for like a month. Even brought the DVD and forced my cousins into it when we visited them for a weekend. I wish I could say I gleaned some insight out of it, but it was really just a stupid Neurodivergent Fixation™
I have watched Paul Blart for one month straight and I think it’s a really good retelling of the Christian Bible dare I say even the Jewish Bible “the Torah” it is one of the most influential movies I have ever seen. It has changed my life inside and out. I hope this is really good for the environment. I love you all peace
👏🏻
You should def listen to "Til Death do us Blart", it'd make a great companion piece to this video - 5 Internet Podcast Dudes meet every year to watch Paul Blart 2, and the gimmick is the podcast will go on for as long as possible (in one episode the hosts choose people that will replace them in the podcast if they're to die), they're around 7 years/episodes in at this point and each episode they get more and more depressed and struggle more and more to find ways to keep the podcast interesting, it's awesome
I haven't even seen it yet and I can already say this will be an all time Brutalmoose video
Should've alternated between the first and the second movie; now you gotta watch Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 for a whole month!
I truly loved the Paul Blart Movie. “the mind is the only weapon that doesn’t need a holster” is my senior quote.
I love it when influential CZcamsrs use their platform to raise awareness for devastating illnesses like Paul Blart Disease. Bless you, BrutalMoose 🙏
Fun fact, in the scene where he beats the guy up in the tanning bed, there was supposed to be a block of foam to keep the guy from getting slammed by the lid, except it didn’t really work and he actually did get pretty banged up during the stunt. So it’s kind of as brutal as it looks.
Kevin James has one of the funniest stand up routines I've ever seen, and barely cusses at all in it. And I'm not offended by bad language either. His bit about being given greeting cards or being out of shape just from peeling an orange are still quoted in my otherwise degenerate household over a decade later.
18:12 the pitched-down laughter is so weird: classic Brutalmoose editing shenanigans!
Brutalmoose and Till Death do Us Blart podcast coming together is just gold
Shoutouts to Death Blart I was looking through the comments for someone to mention it
I would say this was a weird thing to do. But I distinctly remember my brother and I watching Finding Nemo every night one week in the summer. Just because we could.
I remember my mom rented us Cheaper by the Dozen and we watched it together one night.
No clue why, but I decided to watch it again that next morning, but I fell asleep during it.
An hour or so later I was gonna eat lunch and wanted something to watch while I did, so I decided to watch it again.
Shortly after I watched it again.
I think at this point I got the thought in my head "heh, I already watched it three times, wouldn't it be an accomplishment to watch it 12 times, because "dozen" is 12, and that's the title?!?!?"
I watched the movie 12 times in one weekend before we returned it to the theater.
Never even liked the movie in the slightest.
I'm pretty sure Daddy Daycare was another movie I watched like 10 times in a single renting too, and I didn't like it either(I think DDC I watched it mainly because the scene where they look at the messy bathroom in horror had me confused, and I wanted to make some sense of the scene before we returned it)
Damn I had a lazy fucking childhood.....
I’ve done that, too. I usually watch a really good movie again the next day after exploring the meaning, or revisit scenes if I have time. I did that with Amadeus, 4 watches in 3 days, and it’s not a short movie at 3 hours, but those 3 hours are all excellent!
Man, logically I know it's not possible to pump out quality content like this on a weekly basis... But every time I see one of your videos I wish it was possible. So good. Thank you.
I'm very glad someone finally answered the question "What if Die Hard was in a mall and sucked?"
I needed this mid-year snack to tide me over between the meals that are Til Death Do Us Blart each Thanksgiving. The one thing I’ll never understand is the McElroys thinking the second one is better than the first, so it’s nice to see this one get the deep dive it so deserves.
If you went to this movie with your dad or mom it was the funniest movie and it was no different with me and my dad seeing this one in the theater and all I can say that it was a day to remember ❤
I saw it with a friend in theaters in 7th grade and it was the worst movie I had ever seen up to that point.
I remember seeing the first one with my dad as a kid on threaters and me laughed our asses off.
We then saw the sequel in threaters for free because he won free tickets and after seeing it he wanted his money back.
They filmed this at my local mall! There was signs everywhere about it being Christmas during the summer and they’re filming a movie. I didn’t realize all the stores had their summer stuff out during the movie. That’s hilarious 😂
The “Right at your door” and “Left at your door” was so clever. Same meaning, different words that are opposites.
Also, spectacular flower suit.
I remember Ian’s Jones and the Fast Lane video. Watching him get more and more frustrated with not Paul Blart at the employment center killed me.
It's going to be so kool to see 1 million subscribers pretty soon man.
Great work throughout the years.
One viewing of Paul Blart is enough for any man. How Ian is still with us, is a mystery and miracle.
Dude you make the BEST videos to watch while stoned
Thank you for putting yourself through this, you're a gladiator
I’m so happy our boy Ian is reviewing a movie again!! And it’s Paul Blart?!
I’ve watched his TV/movie reviews at least once a year!! So this is another treat on the yearly watch!
I've missed your movie videos, Ian!
I love the MST3K the movie poster!
"Wilt... Chamberlain."
"And his coffin will be made entirely of coconuts, thank you!"
great editing and chronology! love u
Ian! I just moved to Texas from Colorado and I’m missing it horribly. I’ve been watching your old videos and they have been making me feel so much better and less anxious. Thank you for being you!
Hang in there. Texas is a huge place but I promise, she's beautiful with awesome people.
@John McAlister to be fair, Texas does also have mountains
I watched this movie with my girlfriend and we absolutely loved it. We were both losing our shit laughing.
Although we were also both complete wasted drunk so that probably has something to do with it
I can’t express how much I love this video. You are amazing.
Brutal Moose videos never cease to amaze me. I think this channel is propping you tube up for me.
I’d love to hang with these 7 dudes, they seem chill.
Your videos unironically take me to a happy place in an otherwise boring world.
This was the last thing I could have expected a video about, and apparently it's exactly what I wanted. This was amazing.
been highly anticipating this from the stream VODs and it was well worth the wait. Can't wait for the the review of Paul Blart 2: The Blartening
Back when I was growing up we didn't have movies, it was just grain that you had to move around and imagine the exciting scenes. In many ways it was better, but grain is so expensive now.
If you watch a movie, are you going against the grain?
Kevin James shitting on it in the commentary at least sells the dvd version
I loved seeing your different expressions on the different watch throughs, it really made for some hilarious moments!
structure of video is impeccable, loved seeing day 1-7 reactions right next to each other
Now you need to watch Paul Blart 2 every day for 2 weeks
Hello Fresh should pay you double for all that effort you putting into the bit haha 🌈
I've learned so much from the comments on this video.
Thanks for the video, Ian! I like your videos pretty consistently, but the ones that come completely out of left field are always particularly memorable.
I love the concept for this video - would watch many more of them. Haven’t watched your channel for a few years now but have always loved your insight into games and films; I hope you do more of these 7 day things because it’s a brilliant concept which brings much information out of a piece of work. Love it. Thumbs up for the algorithm: thank you for making this and putting it here for me to see ✌️
I feel like Kevin James is probably a cool guy to have a beer with, he's just been (and seems ok with) being typecast as "dumb good hearted fat guy"
He's a right winger
acab not just including, but especially, blart
All cops are blart
Omg, I needed that, especially the best hello fresh commercial that will ever be made.
I absolutely LOVE the framing of going through the movie with clips from all the days together. It's like in time travel movies where all the past and future versions of a person meet in the same room.