How to be Less Lonely at Work | Christine vs. Work
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 8. 07. 2024
- đđȘđđšđđ§đđđ đ©đ€ đŒđšđđđŁđ đ©đ€đđđź! âš / hbrascend âš
Loneliness at work is a major predictor of burnout. But how do you turn co-workers into genuine friends?
What do work friendships look like? And how do they differ from the ânormalâ friendships you make outside of work? To combat loneliness, Innovation Editor Christine Liu sets out on the dramatic journey of making a new friend at the office while working from home. She speaks to Jennifer Moss, author of âThe Burnout Epidemic,â to learn about the consequences of not having friends at work. Spoiler alert: Theyâre dire.
00:00 Do you feel lonely, too?
01:05 What does loneliness at work look like?
02:16 How do I know if someone is a work friend?
02:45 What's the worst that can happen?
04:29 How do I make friends at work?
05:39 Friendship, commence.
06:04 Meet my new friend!
06:22 Final thoughts on work friendships
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Ascend is the go-to place for young people around the world trying to navigate where your work meets your life. Run by a team of global editors at Harvard Business Review (HBR), we aim to give recent grads and early career professionals guidance on how to make sense of todayâs workplace - from getting started on your first gig to becoming a manager for the first time to just being yourself at work.
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In your opinion, what's the hardest part about making new friends as a grownup? -Christine
...small talks? đ
The old trope of donât bring your real/personal/emotional self to work gets in the way. The layers and layers of a persons concrete âprofessional selfâ wall get in the way of meaningful connections
Take away the office environment and your chances of meeting new people suddenly goes down by a huge percentage..
Overthinking and ..... It took 2 mins to this đ€Șđ€Ș
What are some different ways of meeting new people that you can start making friends with (as an adult who works from home in this day and age of Covid)
Not knowing the correct social norms like: How do adults ask other adults to hang out? And, How can a person be a good friend to someone else? I feel like they teach you the stuff in fraternities and sororities on how to be social but not in most other places
Christine, love your authenticity in your videos! Such an important topic you've tackled on how to combat loneliness. Keep up the fantastic work!
I was thinking of this very thing.. how do you work from home without all the normal tidbits of social interaction and not feel lonely? People need people.
I love this piece, Christine! Great job and a great piece that touches on how a lot of people live their day-to-day lives!
Great advice! Thank you for sharing this.
Hi Christine! your videos are so great! IÂŽm an English teacher from Argentina and I use your videos in my classes, the are amazing!!! Funny, inspiring and very up to date! Congratulations and keep up the the good work!!
I would love to explore the dynamic when you have tension in a friendship at work over an assignment or a disagreement of work distribution! Work friendships are crucial, so what happens when they experience tension?
When I see "Zero friends" I clicked thinking it was about how great it was, and much better having no friends.... Which is how I like it.
Eff people! haha.
Hey, at least you're here! Hope to see you around. -Christine
Friendships are really pivotal towards lasting success of anyone in any field. I noticed this first hand during my internship with PwC in spring 2021. It was only through exquisite networking skills that I made great friendships and helped me in earning a memorable internship experience. Thanks for this video. Perfectly nailed down!
Hi Nazmus, I'm so glad you built yourself a strong social network during your internship. That's priceless. Thanks for sharing! -Christine
Marvelous video! Thanks for your so good videos
because not having "friends" means no promotion, many people pretend to be friend, inspite of their inner feeling and thoughts
Very interesting video! Some great tips in here. Thanks!
OMG that's so cool his daughter recognized you. Way to go!
Obsessed with this webseries! Keep it up !
Hi Mohamed, you rock! -Christine
Thanks a lot for a video, Christine (and Andy)! If you ask me, there is a couple of topics I would be really glad to explore with you and a HBR:
1. How not to stop a self-development (in terms of skills and academics) while having full-time job?
2. Is there a perfect timing for a working day to begin and end (and if it is really unique for each and every one is it ok for a business to adapt to each employees' one)?
Dang, I love these questions. Ditto v
Thank you
You're welcome! -Christine
Thanks
Really interesting video!!!
How to deal with Colleague who are found to reveal ur secrets to boss or ur thinking for there own benifits. Its hard to become friends with people when there is so much of intoxicated culture. In my company if u get into relationship, the words spread with light speed that even the CEO will come to know. And the manager would use all these information against u
I started a new job this year, and I come and go from the office each day. I share an office space with someone who does the same job I do. At first, I was friendly with her, but she started putting up a sort of poster board barrier during the day. I don't know if she's doing something on the computer she shouldn't be doing or what. But it is offensive to me. Now, we donât even acknowledge each other's presence. I have totally given up trying. It is truly a bizarre situation. I have never experienced anything like this before in the workplace.
Hi christine! I follow your videos through HBR facebook. Thank you for nice videos there. I also just made a new friend some days ago. Actually he's my best friend's friend. We will start a research project next week remotely. He is so interested. I like this collaboration, especially I also involve my student in it. And making new friend through internet really changes the way, increases more confidence in the conversation. Thank you!
Hi intanajuna - I love meeting friends of friends. My personal term of that is a "2nd-degree friend", and it's always the best feeling when you wake up and you realize a 3rd or 2nd degree friend is now a legitimate 1st-degree friend! Best of luck with your research project. Sounds fun! -Christine
@@harvardbusinessreview thank you christine. So glad to make a conversation directly to you. Warm regard.
great
Finding something in common when you are not in a relationship and do not have kids (or like to have any around) as that is what their lives tend to revolve around, which is understandable...
Hi flower_musk, it might take a little bit longer to find common ground but you'll uncover some fun discoveries about your coworkers in the process! -Christine
Hi Christine. I just found your channel (via atlassian) and like the vibe of your presentations. I just started hearing about virtual water coolers and virtual break rooms. What is a good way to start one and/or administrate one? My experience is with MS Teams in particular. Thanks. Appreciate your great work! -Chuck
Hi Christine. Very interesting suggestions. Making friends as an adult is challenging and I know how much I had to push myself to talk to new people sometime back. This video brings back those memories. Thanks for sharing.
I had one question though. While at work, when you do not get the opportunities/projects that you want, what should be the course of action? Should we look towards greener pastures? Or should we negotiate a compromise?
Eager to know your thoughts.
Cheers!
Hi Rajorshi, thanks for telling us your story. I agree, it's super emotional and the feelings can be challenging! And thanks for the question. This "Dear HBR" podcast episode on how to handle being sidelined at work (which sounds a little like your situation) might be worth a listen: hbr.org/podcast/2019/01/getting-sidelined Please let us know how it goes. -Christine
Hi Christine
I have just watched your video. Thatâs great ! And what about loneliness at work for independant workers, all those who may only be in touch with clients or members of the clientâs organisation ? What would you suggest ?
Thanks
Stephane
Make friends at work, start a union
Thank you, Christine! I have to create TikTok account only to watch your videos )
Hi Ksenia, I think you'll find a lot of fun things while you're there! See ya -Christine
Having zero friends must hurt on birthdays, weekends, new year..
Hey Christine
I (w/20) started an education for 4y as designer and for the first 2 years I've had a really good friend with me at work and time passed so easly. But then I've switched the company and for the last 1.5 years and the next 4 months my life was ans still is a very bad "rollercoaster". I've talked several times with my chef and explained to him that I'm literally lonely. I'm the only one here (I work in a (high)school). Teachers here had to take their classes and after that they went home or are working... I've had for a few weeks 2x a week homeoffice which was GREAT! I could talk to my family members, eat at home, do exercises and so one... My life felt so better when I had homeoffice but my chef decided to remove it. (Yeah my chef is an asshole).... He said he cares about me and when Im telling him that Homeoffice has good impact on me and myself because I dont feel that lonely anymore and can have a bit of contact with my family, he "understands" and doesn't care.
Well I thought a lot of what if I'm switching company? Just for 4 months, after that I'm free anyways. But in the other side i think to myself; Its just 4 months, I've survied 1.5y in this shithole (đ€) and can maybe do another 4 months...
I'm sorry for the long text, I kept it simple and hopefully you understand halfway what I'm trying to tell.
It would be glad if I could chat or do anything while working because work? nono I dont have ANY work. I'm just sitting there for 8h a day and go home after it. Homeoffice or giving me work? NAAH. My Chef is a godadm heartless man....
I've already started investing in Crypto, I've read the last chapter of Berserk today, I'm still learning japanese and more stuff... so If anyone wants to talk with me. I'm right here. Thank you.
Thanks for the lead. But asking for a coffee or hangout so directly may lead them to think that we're flirting?
My chief always told me that you cannot make a real friend with your coworker. He also stated that you will never get promoted if you back up your coworkers.
not sure if anyone will see this but can i follow up with a question to Christine or anyone else - starting the coffee chat is easy but how to maintain that friendship? We can't always have coffee chats at work, sometimes saying hi casually is even awkward, especially if that someone is from another team you don't often work with. Also, any advice for someone who's much younger than the majority of the team? Like early 20, when the rest are nearing 30 and above? Easy to casually chat but they might not feel comfortable to make deep friendships. Thank you!
Hi Chrissy, yes-I see you! As you mention, maintaining a relationship takes work. One thing that's worked for me is setting up a consistent, recurring coffee chat time; bi-weekly or monthly for 15-30 minutes feels lightweight but also something to look forward to. And if something comes up and you have to cancel a meetup, there's something already on the calendar down the line. As for the age challenge, try seeing if there are things in common that aren't generational-like places you've lived, favorite foods, pets, authors, or shows. I wouldn't force it, but you may find something surprising once you start the conversations. Best of luck! -Christine
I tried to, but we are nog allowed to talk to each other. Then they don't also want to make friends. They have no drive to socialize either.
Feel sad for people who have ZERO friends. Their upbringing must've sucked.
Hi nav, it's not our place to judge. However, all the more reason to check in on your less connected coworkers. They might appreciate your thoughtfulness. -Christine
It's 2021 and both the government and my parents forbid me to see friends face to face. I feel imprisoned.
Connecting with others over video call isn't a comparison to the real thing. It's been difficult, to say the least. I'm looking forward when we all can safely socialize face to face-that day will be here soon. Hang in there. -Christine
I am pretty certain we would be friends! But sadly not in the same sector... unless... hbr are hiring people with no business, writing, producing or related skills(!)
Hi Thunder, that's OK - it's good to have friends outside of work, too! Everyone's welcome into the HBR community. -Christine
Good video!
But ... I suppose I feel bad for being me #introvert
Yeah being a girl is easy to call out for coffee either with a girl or boy, but if you are a man .... đš
Hi Amit, do what feels comfortable to you. But trust others to be a good judgment of character as well. -Christine