Learn about the inner critic that leads so many of us to sabotage ourselves. Discover where it comes from and how you can overcome it once and for all.
"Raising secure, emotionally competent, cooperative children who have free access to their creativity and expression is desperately needed for the health of the human race and the health of the planet. Raising secure children matters." - excerpt from The Attachment Connection by Ruth Newton, Ph.D
SIBLINGS, PEERS, FAMILY MEMBERS ALL CAN BECOME TOXIC FOR US TO BE AROUND... BECOME AWARE OF HOW YOU FEEL WHEN YOU ARE AROUND CERTAIN PEOPLE.. BETTER ? OR WORSE AFTER YOUR WITH THEM??🙌🙏🕯️😇🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🎧 GREAT JOB ON VIDEOS
Been Voice Dialoguing, and counseling shame-based adults (and teens) for many years. You've unearthed a "killer critic" --and done so well. AND, you've exposed a self-soothing/cheeerleading opposite subpersonality. These exist on a continuum, dual pair, enmeshed in 'drama.' All "selves" think they are helping. The inner critic is trying to 'help' us get 'the rules' right, and supposedly then, be less vulnerable --apt to be rejected, hurt, attacked by others. An important step? Speak with your "vulnerable" self, discover the child within who is scared of the critical attacks. (Or angry, sad!) Over time, the critical faculty becomes your adult SCRUTINY --a wonderful asset, not judgemental, not emotional, but assessing situations "critically" on your behalf.
But we can't really change ourselves in the end, we will be tempted to do things that are genuinely deserving of criticism, and compared to the Perfection that is possible, condemnation. The answer gets presented to each person at the most opportune time for them, from the One who thought them up. We can't think unless The Father blows through our mind, and we can't communicate without The Logos/Word blowing through our soul. There is a spirit world that this world came from. We're here to choose teams: Love or Pride. Which is why I'm commenting about "changing yourself"...not really possible. That's pride...
Check out Jeffrey Schwartz book "You Are Not Your Brain" for the answer of where the critical voice comes from & how to manage it. This is a great book to use as a supplement to addiction programs as well.
I always exagerrate my inner critic to such a degree that it becomes ridiculous. Works for me most of the times. Then I just laugh at it and say "I don't care".. Well actually, I improvise. Sometimes I encourage myself and says positive things about myself, sometimes I exagerrate, enounciate really intensly or whatever. It's all about feels yo.
Stemming from childhood I can attest it’s very difficult to reprogram the program. Although possible, few can achieve. I learned at 5 I was worthless. Although now 45 I don’t believe the above sentence is entirely true, the effects from childhood have made many road blocks in my pursuit of being my own best friend. Some day’s I’m ok, other days I want to abandon my body and never look back. I’m in decent shape so it’s not an image thing. It’s the mental part. Knowing their is no way to escape other than end all be all, I continue along day to day wondering how the next morning I am going to feel about myself. It’s a real joy I must say.
WOW This is wonderful. It has information that everyone can relate to at sometime during there lives. Fortunately we now they help. Hopefully this will resonate with many people and save lives in the process. Please keep up the good work.
I think the best thing to do is acknowledge it as inner criticism and that a lot of it is compulsive, untrue and far too harsh even when it is true. We all deserve forgiveness. And remember, self-betterment and hard work is what will lead to more self love, confidence and satisfaction
thanks so much for this information. At 58, I am once again doing some self work... I will be engaging in more videos of this type in pursuit of self change and inner peace.
Thank you. Your process is useful and entertaining. I began VD in 1990, and also have classes using a drawing and dialoguing process. May I comment on this video? The voice that suggests having wine to self-soothe, is not the Critic, but a reaction to it --the Self-Soother? An attempt at self nurture? The Critic then overtakes it because in your case, It's a primary self, and the soothing self is disowned... Also, this "killer critic" you are depicting (I had one...) is just one version; some inner critics are trying very hard to catch your perceived screw ups before we get rejected/hurt by others... The Peotector-Controller enlists the Critic to try to protect the vulnerable child... Last remark (and thank you for listening!), I've found that the archetype of Scrutiny --critical evaluation without shaming or being judgemental, is 'critical' to growth, and is the evolution of the critical voices that initially can be so harming... Appreciating us all, Marcia, Love Arts Foundation in northern CA
I've been seeing a therapist for almost 33 years now,and have learned from much hard work how the psych works, and how we are shaped by our parenting and the culture we live in. The insight I have gained about my self, has given me an inner strength and confidence to function better in every day life. So take some friendly advice ,This video is very accurate and right to the point on how to conquer your neurosis. I will be adding one of Dr. Firestones books to my already extensive collection of Psychology and self help books.
I was bullied at school for years and no one wanted to be friends with me. That was just because I was too shy. Now, 25 years later, I still think I am worse than others and hate for this myself and them. I have had depression for many years and take medication. Potential lovers also have always rejected me as soon as I fall in love. Still don't know how to cope with all this.
i don’t know if you’ll see this but i know for a fact what you’ve been through has made you far stronger than many people! you are worth so much more than you think and deserve to be loved and live a life that makes you happy. those kids that bullied you were probably in a dark space and took it out on you, but it does not mean you deserved it AT ALL. if you haven’t already, i’d suggest watching the Rene Brown ted talks on Shame and Vulnerability.
Well, one positive fact is that there are literally millions of other humans who could have written your comment. So, what is happening to you is not unique, in fact it is predictable. That means that what your voice says is not necessarily true, it is just what naturally happens to most of us. It's not true, it's a symptom.
i am most of the time... but sometimes those voices tells the "truth" and sometimes reminds u to change what the voice notice u have...but it all ends in a miserable way of thinking....
this critical inner voice might have more strength than your true self. the answer is to work on strengthening your true self. it's a timely process czcams.com/video/fkXJUFWdJEg/video.html
If you can change your thoughts your miles ahead of the crowd. It takes practise but it will become a great tool. Its called it the Law Substitution. Its one of the 7 laws of the mind.
Freedom keys to the trap. It’s you saying “This is who I am today and I accept this reality. But I know that I have it within me to change and grow as a person.” It takes a lot of mental energy to NOT accept who you are in the present moment. It is a form of denial. And as soon as you release yourself to the reality of what is, that energy can be used for other things. So keep self-acceptance as you aim. In this article, we’ve spoken about the roots of self-loathing, we’ve looked at some of the symptoms of it, and we’ve explored ways to overcome this mentality and move toward a more peaceful and content place. Self-loathing is a prison within the mind. It may feel familiar and secure and you may not want to taste the freedom that exists on the outside, but once you do, you’ll realize how restricted you really were. Be good to yourself. Know that you are worthy of feeling good.
My critical inner voice says the stuff my mom says when she yells at me and also says "oh you're just imagineing this voice to feel sorry for yourself, loser loser loser" and then a string of expletives
All my life I've been told that I am corny, lame, weird, slow, not smart, socially awkward, a turnoff, etc...Even my own relatives have said this about me. I have also been told that if these things have been said to me by multiple people, then it has some truth to it. After hearing all these bane terms being applied to my being, it has caused me to self isolate and avoid social settings. Sometimes I want to go out and socialize with people but its hard for me because I revert back to these harmful things that were said. When I decide to go out, I don't feel comfortable and I end up making mistakes that I get criticized for. One thing that helps is focusing on the positives in my life including the positive things that have been said about me. I suffer from social anxiety and I really want to improve in this area of my life but its not easy. I am thankful for this video and I will do my best to look at the glass as half full rather than half empty. Sensing positivity to you all.
I'm no expert but repeating these negative experiences will prevent you from creating new unbiased experiences. You can acknowledge what happened to you witbout being defined by it,.
That is one powerful inner voice talking right there that has already discredited all the challengers. He is lying. At least consider he might be lying! Good luck brother.
@@adamsczech Here's the line, as long as you don't hear your voice attach your worth as a human being to your life situation then it's fine otherwise I wouldn't believe it.
@@jvm-tv I can hear it in nearly every aspect of my life. I don't really have any worth tbh.. but i just can't see "the inner critic" as a bad guy. I see it as someting that is honest about everything. And by far, he always been right.
@@adamsczech Even if your self critic is correct, dwelling in the criticism isn't necessarily going to help make you a better person. You should try to find the inner voice that is honest but encouraging. That way you can move past the criticism and make the situation better and make yourself better. Wishing you the best. 🙂
im only 13 and i hate myself so much and as soon as she said the things parent and other adult told us as a child may be causing this i started to cry. my parent complain about me saying "she is to so difficult" even babysitters and even teachers told me that i was dumb and was gonna be unsuccessful i guess over time i started to believe it and here i am .
So its the Critical Inner Voice. I have been trying to catch that fella for years, to give it a name. I call it Id, I don't know what else to call it. Id is always negative. Always tells of impending trouble, double cross, failure, trickery, calamity, disasters and such. I noticed when ever I try to pin it down, it doesn't appear. And when it watch for it, it also do not appear. It'll appear and ramble on and on when my guard is down. I'll call it Civ now. I just shut it up, and am working on replacing what it says with a dose of reality.
She left out one other way to silence your inner critic and that is to literally tell it "SHUT UP or if you like SHUT THE FUCK UP" this needs to be said with real emotion, and it does work.
Yes, I understand your question. Mine is often just how I feel about myself...as if I wake up each day and see the world through self loathing glasses.
Před 9 lety+1
Great video. Do you have any other psychology channels that you would recommend?
Mine is too hardwired on making me an emotionless entity that needs more money to function despite myself somehow getting some things done with little money though....I truly need to do more with getting my emotions back the way I want them before I worry about finances
Watch Dick Shwartz on this as its helpful to understand this part of ourself more deeply. This voice is our protector/persecutor and needs to be understood and dialogued with.
The sad truth is that sometimes the feelings you have about yourself are indeed true and factual though and thats when they are really hard to overcome. I have no idea how to stop hating myself. its because I know the person my inner self really wants to be as opposed to my outerself and I know how people view who my inner self wants to be and thats why I hate myself. I hate myself for who I am on the inside and who I am on the outside. I have been in therapy my entire childhood until about 20. It was only after I was a full adult that I realized how much I hate myself. yes I have those inner conversations too but unfortunately I truly believe them to my core. I wish I had someone I could just open up and express myself too without fear of any judgment whatsoever but... well that just will never happen.
I've heard it called a few things. The Default Mode Network. Also from a very old reference from Charles F. Hannel. He called it a capricious exterior Force. What ever its called or where is comes from, all I can say is that it SUCKS...
This inner critic, the part of ourselves that is mean to us, is actually trying to protect us. It's just a part of us that cares, though it's misguided. It's afraid we might get hurt, so to overcome the inner critic we need to be willing to feel what it is trying to keep us from.
it's complicated because the inner critic is actually a part of you. it can make you think it is you, or that you are it. it's very difficult, and a complicated topic czcams.com/video/fkXJUFWdJEg/video.html
If the criticism points to logical, factual information (i.e. you are consistently late for appointments of every level of importance) not based on pathetic adjectives and adverbs of opinion (you are stupid), I *want* my friends and family to criticize me, but also be open about it for discussion too. Anything less is vanity that needs to be destroyed. Traits on my perception about my actual self (I am below average ugly) are those that I can and will readily accept. I don't want perceptions changed into false sense of securities, that's a setup for failure. My critical voice didn't exist in childhood. It developed over years as a young adult during a time I set myself on a path to strict, logical thinking ignoring emotions stemming from the heart. However that is probably what's causing the destructive thoughts since they are based on greater understandings and perceptions of reality. In other words, ignorance is bliss. Creating rational statements about how I really am, at 04:35, is exactly what led me to thinking about the point in my life that I'm at now, it's the reason I'm no longer an optimist.
I teach a process called Voice Dialogue that enables you to not only separate from your critical inner voice and its negativity but also to use that voice as an ally to more fully grow into yourself. You can read my blog post on it here and get some tips you can use immediately: www.voicedialogue.com/inner-critic/
I made a whole video on this topic called "Stop Your Inner Critic & Soothe Your Inner Enemy" and a free step-by-step guide for a personalized journey within. If you are interested it's on my channel! I understand how tough this can be. For me it helped me to write down a list of all the things my critical inner-voice keeps saying. Then when I read back over the list, I did just as you did, identify where/who these these words came from. The next thing I did was to try and set outside of the interaction or event where these things happened/were said and define what is True. How people act is a reflection of them and not necessarily of ourselves. Was that person going through their own things/trauma, did they experience abuse or criticism and were projecting it onto me? I had extremely critical parents who planted self-doubt, insecurities, and plenty for my inner critic to play with. (This does not dismiss them from doing what they did, but it helps us to see why they may have said/did what they did.) But, observing from a grander view that my parents struggled with their own difficulties (my father was extremely ill and becoming debilitated/my mother suffered her own abusive traumas throughout her life), that it helped me to see a bigger picture of what happened. Then from the awareness, I was able to redefine what is true for me such as: though my mom always said she "never wanted me and I'd never be good at anything", that came from her own fears of failing as a mother, her own trauma from her childhood, and that she had extreme criticism and it's all she knew, and as an imperfect kid any time I would make a mistake, she took it as a personal failure as a parent instead of me learning and growing as kids do...but for me, I learned to grow and rise above the critical voices and re-write what is TRUE about me and who I am, because YOU know yourself better than anyone and you get to decide who you are.
@@findingyourdivinelight Thank you for your comment. 🙂 Yes, I do think it is important to recognize that you do not have to let what other people say destroy you. If they have a legitimate concern, you can take it into consideration and strive to do better. It's best to try to understand were people are coming from instead of internalizing everything they say. Then you can forgive them and forgive yourself and move forward in a better state of mind regarding yourself and them. I think maybe I'm slowly starting to get better at this. Thank you for typing your comment. 👍🏻 It has helped me to understand and think more clearly about this. 🙂
Then they're probably different parts of you. Have you heard of Internal Family Systems therapy? It can help you get to know the different parts of you and heal the ones that are troubled, instead of fighting with them or running away from them as this video suggests. None of our parts mean us harm, no matter how misguided their approach might be. They can be brought around so that they're calmer and more supportive, with some consistent kindness and compassion directed toward them.
As a Christ Believer, that inner critical voice I agree comes from the inner self, bolstered by things learned and adapted to by the individual. I so wish people would believe what The Biblical God thinks about us as a created being and how HE views us as His individual Children, with a purpose, and in the eyes of HIM; we are perfect, but also in PROCESS of living and learning! This video only exposes real truths about our human nature and how susceptible we are to inner and outer forces in the world.
Your inner critic is more like a thought than an actual voice. It's that little voice inside your head that might say, "You should feel good about helping your elderly neighbor carry her groceries." Or it might say, "You are such a loser for not helping your elderly neighbor carry her groceries. "
@@drewper73 I don't have that. Unless I deliberately choose to say something in inner speech my mind is completely silent. Apparently everyone else hears voices in their head all the time and schizophrenics just have delusions attached to their voices.
is it true that this critical inner voice can talk against others too? I have in my head/mind a voice that all day long tries to belittle others not only myself. it imagines conversations with those people it perceives as narrow minded, conformists, traditionalist and god-fearing and it only tries to prove how they are wrong. other times it turns against me. but I have no idea if it's the same voice or another. anyway, now, more than ever, I am hell-bent on destroying this/these voices. I am sick and tired of their constant nagging and wrong proving. it ain't healthy and it wastes lots of energy for nothing.
I think I have more than one thought/emotion structure (almost like a personality) in me. They all have different structure, one is like this critical inner voice, one is more like a child, one is more like a sexual side etc. Is my situation different than this or just a different version of this?
Nah my inner voice is really a dickhead lol no one talks to me like he does. Voice memos on your iphone... have a conversation with them. Turns out you can just confront that voice and its really frail and insecure. If you dont fight back it just keeps telling you how to think. I started recording myself talking to the voice and it talking back to me.... its crazy the things that this voice was telling me. Finding out you are your biggest hater is quite the revelation.
Okay so what if you have no friends, or family? What if there's no evidence to combat the voice of your inner critic? I mean are you supposed to just blow sunshine dust up your own ass until you've deluded yourself into believing a lie? No one outside my profession likes me or believes I have any value so where's the proof? Why should I like me when everyone else believes there's nothing to like? Not one person my therapist included can give me a reason to stop hating myself. No one including my therapist can tell me about a single likeable thing about me.
i dislike this video ..... the video is so nice but the solution to inner voice is wrong..... we dont hve to answer these voices..... just observe them. dont interfere with them.... they will fade away and damanish..... otherwise it will continue chatting with you if you answer them....
Muhammad Shah No, it’s just not right for you. It’s a CBT technique that has benefited those who have used it. It’s separating the absolution of the thought itself. Even just by telling yourself “I am having the thought that ______” instead of “I am _______” causes a shift in perspective, albeit minimal at first. Techniques like this take a lot of practice and mindfulness. But again, it doesn’t mean it’s a wrong or right technique; if it doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t work for you.
The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.
Agreed! This is so important.
That explains ALOT
Bingo!
True
I swear when my inner voice be sounding just like my dad
It's like an inside broken mixtape that says I'm so shit
Yes I'd like to pop out the "I'm shit" mix-tape and pop in the "Hey your doing a good job" mix-tape.
I suffer from cptsd and depression and I am very grateful for this video. Thank you so much.
"Raising secure, emotionally competent, cooperative children who have free access to their creativity and expression is desperately needed for the health of the human race and the health of the planet. Raising secure children matters."
- excerpt from The Attachment Connection by Ruth Newton, Ph.D
❤💙✨👍👌🎧🎶🎤🙏🎧🔥😇🕯️ AMEN 🙌🙏 AGREE CHILDREN ARE THE FUTURE
SIBLINGS, PEERS, FAMILY MEMBERS ALL CAN BECOME TOXIC FOR US TO BE AROUND... BECOME AWARE OF HOW YOU FEEL WHEN YOU ARE AROUND CERTAIN PEOPLE.. BETTER ? OR WORSE AFTER YOUR WITH THEM??🙌🙏🕯️😇🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🎧 GREAT JOB ON VIDEOS
Been Voice Dialoguing, and counseling shame-based adults (and teens) for many years. You've unearthed a "killer critic" --and done so well. AND, you've exposed a self-soothing/cheeerleading opposite subpersonality. These exist on a continuum, dual pair, enmeshed in 'drama.' All "selves" think they are helping. The inner critic is trying to 'help' us get 'the rules' right, and supposedly then, be less vulnerable --apt to be rejected, hurt, attacked by others. An important step? Speak with your "vulnerable" self, discover the child within who is scared of the critical attacks. (Or angry, sad!) Over time, the critical faculty becomes your adult SCRUTINY --a wonderful asset, not judgemental, not emotional, but assessing situations "critically" on your behalf.
👍🏻
Never had it turn into a benevolent asset…once a devil always a satan
Oh my god. I had this for years. I thought It was depression but this makes more sense.
I think that having a constant inner critical voice and being depressed are definitely linked.
But we can't really change ourselves in the end, we will be tempted to do things that are genuinely deserving of criticism, and compared to the Perfection that is possible, condemnation. The answer gets presented to each person at the most opportune time for them, from the One who thought them up. We can't think unless The Father blows through our mind, and we can't communicate without The Logos/Word blowing through our soul. There is a spirit world that this world came from. We're here to choose teams: Love or Pride. Which is why I'm commenting about "changing yourself"...not really possible. That's pride...
Just put on some music...
Aughhhhhh, that inner voice is so LOUD!
Check out Jeffrey Schwartz book "You Are Not Your Brain" for the answer of where the critical voice comes from & how to manage it. This is a great book to use as a supplement to addiction programs as well.
I searched and searched for years and now I finally got my answer. now I just have to cope with this and live my life
good luck to you.
Thank you
I always exagerrate my inner critic to such a degree that it becomes ridiculous. Works for me most of the times. Then I just laugh at it and say "I don't care".. Well actually, I improvise. Sometimes I encourage myself and says positive things about myself, sometimes I exagerrate, enounciate really intensly or whatever. It's all about feels yo.
+ReVarre Yeah bro, its all about the feels!
Stemming from childhood I can attest it’s very difficult to reprogram the program. Although possible, few can achieve.
I learned at 5 I was worthless. Although now 45 I don’t believe the above sentence is entirely true, the effects from childhood have made many road blocks in my pursuit of being my own best friend. Some day’s I’m ok, other days I want to abandon my body and never look back. I’m in decent shape so it’s not an image thing. It’s the mental part. Knowing their is no way to escape other than end all be all, I continue along day to day wondering how the next morning I am going to feel about myself. It’s a real joy I must say.
WOW This is wonderful. It has information that everyone can relate to at sometime during there lives. Fortunately we now
they help. Hopefully this will resonate with many people and save lives in the process. Please keep up the good work.
I think the best thing to do is acknowledge it as inner criticism and that a lot of it is compulsive, untrue and far too harsh even when it is true. We all deserve forgiveness. And remember, self-betterment and hard work is what will lead to more self love, confidence and satisfaction
❤❤❤ AGREE 👍💯👍💯 6/6/2023🕯️🔥🥰🎤✨💙💛❤️💛💙✨😇🙏😇😇😇😎
thanks so much for this information. At 58, I am once again doing some self work... I will be engaging in more videos of this type in pursuit of self change and inner peace.
Anna B Tsa'toke I feel like it’s a constant battle
Thank you. Your process is useful and entertaining. I began VD in 1990, and also have classes using a drawing and dialoguing process. May I comment on this video? The voice that suggests having wine to self-soothe, is not the Critic, but a reaction to it --the Self-Soother? An attempt at self nurture? The Critic then overtakes it because in your case, It's a primary self, and the soothing self is disowned...
Also, this "killer critic" you are depicting (I had one...) is just one version; some inner critics are trying very hard to catch your perceived screw ups before we get rejected/hurt by others... The Peotector-Controller enlists the Critic to try to protect the vulnerable child...
Last remark (and thank you for listening!), I've found that the archetype of Scrutiny --critical evaluation without shaming or being judgemental, is 'critical' to growth, and is the evolution of the critical voices that initially can be so harming... Appreciating us all, Marcia, Love Arts Foundation in northern CA
I've been seeing a therapist for almost 33 years now,and have learned from much hard work how the psych works, and how we are shaped by our parenting and the culture we live in. The insight I have gained about my self, has given me an inner strength and confidence to function better in every day life. So take some friendly advice ,This video is very accurate and right to the point on how to conquer your neurosis. I will be adding one of Dr. Firestones books to my already extensive collection of Psychology and self help books.
Like which book?
Well done on getting professional guidance to resolving your mental health hurdles!🎉💃
I was bullied at school for years and no one wanted to be friends with me. That was just because I was too shy. Now, 25 years later, I still think I am worse than others and hate for this myself and them. I have had depression for many years and take medication. Potential lovers also have always rejected me as soon as I fall in love. Still don't know how to cope with all this.
i don’t know if you’ll see this but i know for a fact what you’ve been through has made you far stronger than many people! you are worth so much more than you think and deserve to be loved and live a life that makes you happy. those kids that bullied you were probably in a dark space and took it out on you, but it does not mean you deserved it AT ALL. if you haven’t already, i’d suggest watching the Rene Brown ted talks on Shame and Vulnerability.
@@Zoe-tg4dl Thank you! I still have a lot of work to get out of this... maybe the whole life won't be enough...
Well, one positive fact is that there are literally millions of other humans who could have written your comment. So, what is happening to you is not unique, in fact it is predictable. That means that what your voice says is not necessarily true, it is just what naturally happens to most of us. It's not true, it's a symptom.
Such a fruitful information you share,may Almighty grace you with magnificent knowledge and perfect health.Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou,
i am most of the time... but sometimes those voices tells the "truth" and sometimes reminds u to change what the voice notice u have...but it all ends in a miserable way of thinking....
My critical inner voice deserves a raise because she works overtime.
this critical inner voice might have more strength than your true self. the answer is to work on strengthening your true self. it's a timely process czcams.com/video/fkXJUFWdJEg/video.html
Thank you from heart 💐
Thank you!! Basically, beat negative voice.
Wtf.. Its a constant stream of negative thoughts.. it just wont stop !!!
If you can change your thoughts your miles ahead of the crowd. It takes practise but it will become a great tool. Its called it the Law Substitution. Its one of the 7 laws of the mind.
Freedom keys to the trap. It’s you saying “This is who I am today and I accept this reality. But I know that I have it within me to change and grow as a person.”
It takes a lot of mental energy to NOT accept who you are in the present moment. It is a form of denial.
And as soon as you release yourself to the reality of what is, that energy can be used for other things.
So keep self-acceptance as you aim.
In this article, we’ve spoken about the roots of self-loathing, we’ve looked at some of the symptoms of it, and we’ve explored ways to overcome this mentality and move toward a more peaceful and content place.
Self-loathing is a prison within the mind. It may feel familiar and secure and you may not want to taste the freedom that exists on the outside, but once you do, you’ll realize how restricted you really were.
Be good to yourself. Know that you are worthy of feeling good.
Great Video! very well done!
My critical inner voice says the stuff my mom says when she yells at me and also says "oh you're just imagineing this voice to feel sorry for yourself, loser loser loser" and then a string of expletives
All my life I've been told that I am corny, lame, weird, slow, not smart, socially awkward, a turnoff, etc...Even my own relatives have said this about me. I have also been told that if these things have been said to me by multiple people, then it has some truth to it. After hearing all these bane terms being applied to my being, it has caused me to self isolate and avoid social settings. Sometimes I want to go out and socialize with people but its hard for me because I revert back to these harmful things that were said. When I decide to go out, I don't feel comfortable and I end up making mistakes that I get criticized for. One thing that helps is focusing on the positives in my life including the positive things that have been said about me. I suffer from social anxiety and I really want to improve in this area of my life but its not easy. I am thankful for this video and I will do my best to look at the glass as half full rather than half empty. Sensing positivity to you all.
I'm no expert but repeating these negative experiences will prevent you from creating new unbiased experiences. You can acknowledge what happened to you witbout being defined by it,.
I have heard it to my core with the inner critic
My Inner critic voice is the only one who's honest about my miserable and pathetic life. Everything else is just sweet lies to make you feel better.
That is one powerful inner voice talking right there that has already discredited all the challengers. He is lying. At least consider he might be lying! Good luck brother.
@@jvm-tv He is not lying though, my life is a proof of that. Ofc, some people's critic voice may be lying, but mine is honest one.
@@adamsczech Here's the line, as long as you don't hear your voice attach your worth as a human being to your life situation then it's fine otherwise I wouldn't believe it.
@@jvm-tv I can hear it in nearly every aspect of my life. I don't really have any worth tbh.. but i just can't see "the inner critic" as a bad guy. I see it as someting that is honest about everything. And by far, he always been right.
@@adamsczech Even if your self critic is correct, dwelling in the criticism isn't necessarily going to help make you a better person. You should try to find the inner voice that is honest but encouraging. That way you can move past the criticism and make the situation better and make yourself better.
Wishing you the best. 🙂
THANK YOU 🙏🙏🙏🙏 EXCELLENT 👍👌 VIDEO 📸📸📸 GOD BLESS YOU, GRATEFUL YOUR MAKING THESE VIDEOS 😎😇🙏 DJ'S FROM VENUS ❤️🔥🔥😎🎧🎤🎶🎤 HERE IN DA CHAT NOW! TE AMO 🙏🙏
im only 13 and i hate myself so much and as soon as she said the things parent and other adult told us as a child may be causing this i started to cry. my parent complain about me saying "she is to so difficult" even babysitters and even teachers told me that i was dumb and was gonna be unsuccessful i guess over time i started to believe it and here i am .
Emily you can be whoever you want to be, you will be an amazing person.
No words to thank you
I would do anything for it to be this simple....
So its the Critical Inner Voice.
I have been trying to catch that fella for years, to give it a name. I call it Id, I don't know what else to call it. Id is always negative. Always tells of impending trouble, double cross, failure, trickery, calamity, disasters and such.
I noticed when ever I try to pin it down, it doesn't appear. And when it watch for it, it also do not appear. It'll appear and ramble on and on when my guard is down.
I'll call it Civ now.
I just shut it up, and am working on replacing what it says with a dose of reality.
She left out one other way to silence your inner critic and that is to literally tell it "SHUT UP or if you like SHUT THE FUCK UP" this needs to be said with real emotion, and it does work.
What if my inner critic isn’t a thought but is just a feeling?
Yes, I understand your question. Mine is often just how I feel about myself...as if I wake up each day and see the world through self loathing glasses.
Great video. Do you have any other psychology channels that you would recommend?
Mine is too hardwired on making me an emotionless entity that needs more money to function despite myself somehow getting some things done with little money though....I truly need to do more with getting my emotions back the way I want them before I worry about finances
woe they showed me this in my group therapy this is powerful stuff.
Watch Dick Shwartz on this as its helpful to understand this part of ourself more deeply. This voice is our protector/persecutor and needs to be understood and dialogued with.
Why are women more religious than men are statistically?
I wish I could draw like you...
The sad truth is that sometimes the feelings you have about yourself are indeed true and factual though and thats when they are really hard to overcome. I have no idea how to stop hating myself. its because I know the person my inner self really wants to be as opposed to my outerself and I know how people view who my inner self wants to be and thats why I hate myself. I hate myself for who I am on the inside and who I am on the outside. I have been in therapy my entire childhood until about 20. It was only after I was a full adult that I realized how much I hate myself. yes I have those inner conversations too but unfortunately I truly believe them to my core. I wish I had someone I could just open up and express myself too without fear of any judgment whatsoever but... well that just will never happen.
i hope you're good bro
@@otx_alex Doing the best I can, thanks for your empathy and the same to you my friend.
The short answer is one day you will be who you had the potential and desire to be…
How did you film your video?
I've heard it called a few things. The Default Mode Network. Also from a very old reference from Charles F. Hannel. He called it a capricious exterior Force. What ever its called or where is comes from, all I can say is that it SUCKS...
This inner critic, the part of ourselves that is mean to us, is actually trying to protect us. It's just a part of us that cares, though it's misguided. It's afraid we might get hurt, so to overcome the inner critic we need to be willing to feel what it is trying to keep us from.
After I have an argument with my mom, I see how others see me in a negative way, like right now...
It could help us to improve, I believe. But sometimes it makes me don't know what to trust and where to go, that drives me crazy😖
it's complicated because the inner critic is actually a part of you. it can make you think it is you, or that you are it. it's very difficult, and a complicated topic czcams.com/video/fkXJUFWdJEg/video.html
If the criticism points to logical, factual information (i.e. you are consistently late for appointments of every level of importance) not based on pathetic adjectives and adverbs of opinion (you are stupid), I *want* my friends and family to criticize me, but also be open about it for discussion too. Anything less is vanity that needs to be destroyed.
Traits on my perception about my actual self (I am below average ugly) are those that I can and will readily accept. I don't want perceptions changed into false sense of securities, that's a setup for failure.
My critical voice didn't exist in childhood. It developed over years as a young adult during a time I set myself on a path to strict, logical thinking ignoring emotions stemming from the heart. However that is probably what's causing the destructive thoughts since they are based on greater understandings and perceptions of reality. In other words, ignorance is bliss.
Creating rational statements about how I really am, at 04:35, is exactly what led me to thinking about the point in my life that I'm at now, it's the reason I'm no longer an optimist.
At least now I know it has a name
Would love to use this for school children, but the wine analogy:(
I teach a process called Voice Dialogue that enables you to not only separate from your critical inner voice and its negativity but also to use that voice as an ally to more fully grow into yourself. You can read my blog post on it here and get some tips you can use immediately: www.voicedialogue.com/inner-critic/
AWARENESS.....COMES FIRST....
Was the inner voice flipping us off at 1:45 ?
What if the voice is coming from the thoughts of a person other than me?. I keep hearing the voices of the one who put me thru this. Only his voice
I made a whole video on this topic called "Stop Your Inner Critic & Soothe Your Inner Enemy" and a free step-by-step guide for a personalized journey within. If you are interested it's on my channel!
I understand how tough this can be. For me it helped me to write down a list of all the things my critical inner-voice keeps saying. Then when I read back over the list, I did just as you did, identify where/who these these words came from. The next thing I did was to try and set outside of the interaction or event where these things happened/were said and define what is True.
How people act is a reflection of them and not necessarily of ourselves. Was that person going through their own things/trauma, did they experience abuse or criticism and were projecting it onto me? I had extremely critical parents who planted self-doubt, insecurities, and plenty for my inner critic to play with. (This does not dismiss them from doing what they did, but it helps us to see why they may have said/did what they did.)
But, observing from a grander view that my parents struggled with their own difficulties (my father was extremely ill and becoming debilitated/my mother suffered her own abusive traumas throughout her life), that it helped me to see a bigger picture of what happened. Then from the awareness, I was able to redefine what is true for me such as: though my mom always said she "never wanted me and I'd never be good at anything", that came from her own fears of failing as a mother, her own trauma from her childhood, and that she had extreme criticism and it's all she knew, and as an imperfect kid any time I would make a mistake, she took it as a personal failure as a parent instead of me learning and growing as kids do...but for me, I learned to grow and rise above the critical voices and re-write what is TRUE about me and who I am, because YOU know yourself better than anyone and you get to decide who you are.
@@findingyourdivinelight Thank you for your comment. 🙂
Yes, I do think it is important to recognize that you do not have to let what other people say destroy you. If they have a legitimate concern, you can take it into consideration and strive to do better. It's best to try to understand were people are coming from instead of internalizing everything they say. Then you can forgive them and forgive yourself and move forward in a better state of mind regarding yourself and them. I think maybe I'm slowly starting to get better at this.
Thank you for typing your comment. 👍🏻
It has helped me to understand and think more clearly about this. 🙂
Id, Ego, Super-Ego.This is a helpful vid, and I'm happy you're helping others; but I'd argue you should've given Freud credit here.
Or Berne for Transactional Analysis!
What if one voice is sweet the other mean?
Then they're probably different parts of you. Have you heard of Internal Family Systems therapy? It can help you get to know the different parts of you and heal the ones that are troubled, instead of fighting with them or running away from them as this video suggests. None of our parts mean us harm, no matter how misguided their approach might be. They can be brought around so that they're calmer and more supportive, with some consistent kindness and compassion directed toward them.
💜💜💜
Wondering if your perspective has shifted with the growth of IFS therapy....
This is projection of who others treat us like your ex for example
As a Christ Believer, that inner critical voice I agree comes from the inner self, bolstered by things learned and adapted to by the individual. I so wish people would believe what The Biblical God thinks about us as a created being and how HE views us as His individual Children, with a purpose, and in the eyes of HIM; we are perfect, but also in PROCESS of living and learning! This video only exposes real truths about our human nature and how susceptible we are to inner and outer forces in the world.
i only get this when i smoke weed but i ignore it b y doing some sort of activity dont know its the pot engaging witha part of my brain
Pot helps me suppress my negative thoughts but its not healthy
This won't ever work for me. I suck this bad
LKBeatbox no you don't
Its kind of relieving to admit u suck. Jus have to decide if u will continue to suck or not. This is for me as much as for u :)
That sounds like your inner critic talking. Or it certainly sounds like mine.
Its explained my problem but didnt work :/
Are you listening people
👍
I’m sorry but I just can’t do it, it’s literally impossible for me. Oh well
I would like a version of this without the wine reference for students
GOD DAMN INNER CRITIC CONVINCED ME TO GO BUY A NEW IPHONE :(
+Jordan Waller ha ha funny....... it made me to break my phone last month...
Is the inner critic actually a voice in my head telling me how bad I am or is it meant that I criticise myself? Im kinda confused.
Your inner critic is more like a thought than an actual voice. It's that little voice inside your head that might say, "You should feel good about helping your elderly neighbor carry her groceries." Or it might say, "You are such a loser for not helping your elderly neighbor carry her groceries. "
@@drewper73 I don't have that. Unless I deliberately choose to say something in inner speech my mind is completely silent. Apparently everyone else hears voices in their head all the time and schizophrenics just have delusions attached to their voices.
24/7 365 deafening
The thing Is.... people have criticized me with very similar statements. So if other people tell me, and a lot of them do.... it Has to be True right?
It's something spiritual
is it true that this critical inner voice can talk against others too?
I have in my head/mind a voice that all day long tries to belittle others not only myself. it imagines conversations with those people it perceives as narrow minded, conformists, traditionalist and god-fearing and it only tries to prove how they are wrong.
other times it turns against me. but I have no idea if it's the same voice or another.
anyway, now, more than ever, I am hell-bent on destroying this/these voices. I am sick and tired of their constant nagging and wrong proving. it ain't healthy and it wastes lots of energy for nothing.
This is self hate and not self criticism. You should critisis yourself sometimes it's part of developing as a person
I think I have more than one thought/emotion structure (almost like a personality) in me. They all have different structure, one is like this critical inner voice, one is more like a child, one is more like a sexual side etc. Is my situation different than this or just a different version of this?
yo that monster gotta go
Nah my inner voice is really a dickhead lol no one talks to me like he does. Voice memos on your iphone... have a conversation with them. Turns out you can just confront that voice and its really frail and insecure. If you dont fight back it just keeps telling you how to think. I started recording myself talking to the voice and it talking back to me.... its crazy the things that this voice was telling me. Finding out you are your biggest hater is quite the revelation.
Okay so what if you have no friends, or family? What if there's no evidence to combat the voice of your inner critic? I mean are you supposed to just blow sunshine dust up your own ass until you've deluded yourself into believing a lie? No one outside my profession likes me or believes I have any value so where's the proof? Why should I like me when everyone else believes there's nothing to like? Not one person my therapist included can give me a reason to stop hating myself. No one including my therapist can tell me about a single likeable thing about me.
I like you. Secondly Christ Jesus likes you, and gave evidence by purchasing you with the ransom sacrifice he made.
i dislike this video ..... the video is so nice but the solution to inner voice is wrong..... we dont hve to answer these voices..... just observe them. dont interfere with them.... they will fade away and damanish..... otherwise it will continue chatting with you if you answer them....
Muhammad Shah No, it’s just not right for you. It’s a CBT technique that has benefited those who have used it. It’s separating the absolution of the thought itself. Even just by telling yourself “I am having the thought that ______” instead of “I am _______” causes a shift in perspective, albeit minimal at first. Techniques like this take a lot of practice and mindfulness. But again, it doesn’t mean it’s a wrong or right technique; if it doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t work for you.
If you broke your phone, what you're doing clearly isn't working
Bullshit.
Tanks. A fantastic Keep it simple and shorts example🫶