I read this in early 2017 and felt exactly the way you did. I STILL sometimes think about it out of nowhere (like tonight), get enraged, and then need to find a negative review to remind myself I am not the only reader who hated this. I found this video by typing "a little life book review negative" in the search bar LOL, so thanks!
Yanigahara wrote this book from the opinion she has on mental health treatment and suicide. She wanted to write a book about someone who gets progressively worse to the point of committing suicide. She believes that some people are so broken that there is no hope in helping them and doesn’t understand why we, as a society, insist on suicide prevention. She refers to therapy as ‘talk therapy’ which I find insulting. She says that therapy is like religion. It only works because people believe it works. This is coming from someone who used over 700 pages of words …
I will keep saying it over and over. If you were never suicidal and you were never abused as a child, this book is torture porn, but for me, for someone who has felt like Jude their whole life until i (unlike him) got help and got better, IT IS A REALITY. Life isn't fair and it is what it is but this book was validating and I will always defend it.
I feel like the author googled "topics that would make people feel disgusted and miserable" before starting to write and put all the stuff (child abuse, self-harming, suicide, depression, drug addiction, sexual abuse and abusive relationships, mental and physical illness, etc) in just one freaking book just to get a reaction from the reader. So manipulative...
She actually admitted to have done no prior research on disabled people or mental health, so... She actually just wrote what she thought it would be like and that's not ok...
My partner just finished reading this and through the process would give me updates here and there. To me it all sounded very contrived, but she was liking it through most of the book. She made the point that trauma is often a cycle, and some people really can experience that much hardship, which is a really good point. But then when she got past the car accident and actually finished it, her opinion did a harsh 180. Everything that she said worked while she was reading the earlier parts came crashing down. It's very telling that the author wanted to write about people suffering from so much trauma, but she famously didn't do any research into the actual experience of these traumas. We've been looking up reviews from other folks who didn't like the book to validate our own thoughts, because everyone elsewe know has loved this book. It's very reassuring to know it's not just us.
@@Cuyt24 Lol! Sorry if my non-gendered language offends you. Excuse me for not wanting to support the wedding industrial complex just to say "my wife", or for not referring to the woman I've been in a relationship with for 12 years as "my girlfriend". You have a nice day and please also get a life, or at least a grip. 🤣
@@punkrockzoologist9449 Wedding industrial complex? People can just go to city hall and get married. Are you a guy? Are you gay? Are you trans? I think business partner at first when people say partner. You could avoid so much confusion by saying girlfriend or wife. Let's assume you are a cis guy.....oof, 12 years without making a commitment to her. Yikes. You shouldn't be proud of that. I bet she resents you. You never want to call her your wife. You can legally get away from her without consequences. You can just leave in the night if you wanted. I wonder what her family thinks. 12 year live in boyfriend who refuses to commit to her. You sound like a real winner.
thank you for this review. everyone gives these trigger warnings, but then glorifies how good the book is and doesn’t go into spoilers, expecting people to be manipulated by book tube FOMO to read it themselves (which in itself is gross lol). i’m so glad you gave a spoiler review for this reason, because i wasn’t about to pull the trigger (pun not intended) on a book that had these warnings attached without knowing what that entailed. now i know i won’t read it. i don’t need trauma porn from someone that doesn’t relate, and i sure as hell don’t need to be manipulated to that level by the art i consume and by the cult following that shills it. it’s gross and i’m disheartened that so many people want to recklessly push others head first into the triggers without actually giving adequate explanation for it. it’s dangerous and doesn’t look out for other people, and the “teehee i love the book but i could never recommend it! xd” smacks of trying to bait people into reading it anyway. i just. yikes.
You are not alone in hating this book. The book made me so angry and honestly by the end, I felt like the author just tried to throw in as much pain and horror as she could into one book.
This book is so melodramatic and pretentious that it felt like a parody to me, like there were "harsh" scenes where i just laughed out loud bc how much more can this boy take lmao
I feel like I did this too, like facepalm moments where I couldn't even believe another thing was happening. Torture porn is not an understatement with this one 🙈
Can you believe I am someone who hasnt read the book and Absolutely hate it? I JUST KNOW The STORY AND I FEEL PATHETIC .YOUR COMMENT IS SO RELATABLE. GREAT JOB AT INTERPRETING ALL HATERS ANGST! Thank God I didn't put myself through this.
the book was so well written and ofc I love Jude but OMFG I can't believe everything turned out like that. I felt so BAD for Jude the whole time and I was angry that every one around him just let him do what he wanted
I was angry the whole time too! I was screaming STOP ENABLING! But after the stuff started piling up, I just couldn't take the torture seriously anymore, no way every single thing that happened could happen to one person 🙈
I feel the same way. I finished reading A Little Life a few days ago and I just hated it. While I was reading it I got Wattpad fanfic vibes. I really like Hanya’s writing but the book felt like wasted potential tbh. Personally I think this book would’ve been better if Jude has a breaking point where he just says “my mental health is really bad and I need help”. As someone that has depression and struggle with self harm this book is triggering. I’d put a huge trigger warning on the book. I felt so hopeless after finishing the book like I felt there was no hope for me to get better. This book is a big no for me.
I'm so sorry you read it! I hated it too, I haven't struggled with those issues, but this book put me in such a funk! It's got so many things in it, even as long as it's been since I read it, i have horrible feelings toward it.
I don't think Jude needed to ask for help. His friends should have helped him. His doctor should have helped him. How does Jude even survive for so long?!!!
Also, I feel like the book would have been so much better had it had a proper cathartic moment, which could go either in a lighter or a darker direction. For example, having that graphic su*cidal scene be actually successful and then continuing the story from his friends' points of view, listing their regrets and ideas about what they could have done differently; or as someone else wrote in the comments, taking Jude to rock bottom and evoking in him this realization that he does need to get better and if he is considering not being alive anymore, then he has nothing to lose and might at least try therapy, and then slowly pick up the pieces from there. I felt like the author didn't believe in therapy as such and reduced it to an unpleasant chore that Jude eventually faced, as opposed to giving it space in the story to unfold and to illustrate the hard, but beautiful process of healing with the help of a processional (even if she did decide to make Jude give up in the end).
So glad to get a perspective that isn't gushing about how heart breaking this book is. It sounds awful and I have no desire to read it but with all synopsis I've read and reviews I don't know how it could be so popular.
I wholeheartedly thought I was going to love it when I bought it (I love when books break my heart and make me cry)... But this one did neither and left me furious. I have a hard time getting why it's so popular 🙈
Exactly! Brilliant and passionate summary on all counts ... now let’s breath and move on...and... “let that shit go” ... in the 25 cent yard sale pile.
"That's not a good friend." That's the point! She's telling the story about how JB wasn't a good friend. "To me that's not a good relationship " That's the point! The story isn't about a "healthy" relationship. 50% of reviews are about people complaining about how they don't like X character or X situation. To kill a mockingbird reviews saying "so much racism in this book" THAT'S THE POINT. Putting unlikable characters and situations in stories is a main part of storytelling. Like saying The Little Mermaid was a terrible movie because that character Ursula was so mean. That's. The. Point.
Just found this review because I could only find glowing reviews for this book. I would personally give it 4 stars because I couldn’t put it down and I found her writing to my taste. But I had huuuuge problems with the pure torture porn this book was. People can go through multiple traumas but it just felt like a cheap mechanism by the end. Death after death, abuse after abuse. It became almost unbelievable and by the end I didn’t feel much emotion. No tears fell from my eyes. The only physical reaction I had was during self harm scenes where I found myself gripping the book because I was so engrossed in the imagery. The one character that annoyed me most was ANDY! He should have put his friendship aside and been a professional and had Jude committed or tried to convince Harold and Julia to do so. I asked my best friend if I were Jude and told him not to have me put in a hospital, would he do it? He said yes, if I feared for your life. I couldn’t believe a doctor would let Jude fall through the cracks like that. Especially considering he has the money for treatment and care. And Harold and Julia have the money for treatment and care. And so do all of his successful friends. Ugh. A book that truly divides my mind. Would I recommend it? Hesitantly. And with lots of trigger warnings.
Great breakdown! and yes, I believe Andy was super unprofessional. He should have set his friendship aside and done his job. I do know someone who was toying with suicide, and I held on to it for a while, but after reading this book he brought it up again and I went to his parents so they knew what was going on. No one can help if they don't know, in my opinion.
Great points about JB's intervention and Jude lying to Willem for four years. I completely missed those because I was totally checked out by the time I got to them. I recently finished the book and was looking for other negative reviews just to prove to myself that I'm not crazy for hating it. Thanks for uploading this video!
I see your point and understand it, but as someone who has dealt with depression, anxiety, had been abused by many people whom I trusted, I can't help but relate to Jude entirely. I'm where he meets Caleb and my heart is breaking because Jude thinks he doesn't deserve to be loved, same as me. So, in many things I don't agree with the book but so many more I feel that Jude is me and can't overlook that and yes, a long time ago I did plan my way out. Some days are easy but many days are just really hard to handle at all
I hate this book so much. The part Dear Comrade where he is grieving Willem's death is not really captured properly in this book. According to the book that was the turning point in Jude's life somehow, after which he lost whatever interest he had in living and became a bitter person. But rather than this book I think P.S. I Love You by Cecelia Ahern depicts the loss of a loved one more beautifully. Though the two books are of different genre all together but somehow while reading this book I was reminded of P.S. I Love You which I read long ago and had felt what real grieving is when you lose someone close. Another problem with this book was not the fact that people don't have multiple traumas, people do infact have multiple traumas throughout their life but the fact that almost all the people he knew from his twenties were all so nice and sweet and patient with him throughout his fifties is what makes it a little absurd for me. Its like the people around him inspite of being in their fifties and sixties do not have anything to do other than just caring and worrying about Jude all day. They are Almost always available for him and so very patient with him despite the fact he became a really rude person towards the end of the book. I doubt so many people like Harold, Julia, Richard, Andy, JB, Henry Young and so many others would have been this patient with someone like Jude in real life. Its just my point of view though but I doubt so many people would be so giving and patient and so understanding towards Jude had this been in real life especially as they were themselves close to sixties and he in his fifties.
So happy I came across this review. This is the first review I’ve seen that I 100% agree with. We share the same frustrations! I read it because I saw so many people raving about it and how it absolutely wrecked them. I took so long to finish it because I was literally forcing myself to read the entire thing. I honestly wanted to give up like 1/4 of the way in. Would definitely not recommend. I didn’t even shed one tear.
I love this book very much, but dammit if you don’t make incredibly strong arguments against it. Hope is vital for depressives to fight (our, I speak from experience) self-destructive desires, but Hanya the author has openly said that part of her intent with A Little Life was to show, however melodramatically, that for some people, life simply never has a chance to improve, and there is not enough time, sometimes, to heal once a certain threshold of trauma is passed. Solid review. I admire your passionate take.
I really appreciate your comment! Thank you for taking the time to watch and for not getting flustered that I didn't enjoy it. Such a fresh feeling to have someone be positive about something even if they have a different opinion ☺️. One positive thing that did come from this novel and my levels of frustration, was that someone very dear to me did say that they were in a suicidal place and I stuck to my guns and shared it with their parents. I just couldn't stand by and wait and hope, and I also couldn't hold onto something that was eating me up inside.
Thank you for this review! I'm around 200 pages into the book and am already exceedingly frustrated and really REALLY not liking the premise or intent so I was seeking out negative reviews because it seemed like everyone on social media absolutely LOVED this book and found this one. I was wondering if I should push on (even if just to have read the whole thing so I can critique it even further and have a more valid argument lmao) but I think this review has solidified that I'm not even going to finish it because it's not worth it for my own sake. The characterization and everything felt contrived and I really dislike things I've seen the author saying in statements about abuse and psychiatry coupled with the fact that she is not even coming from a place of experiencing any of the perspectives of these characters just leaves such a horrible taste in my mouth. Sorry for the rant I just have so many thoughts about this book and it's nice to see other people also really disliked it and I'm not alone!
You are so not alone! I loved reading the rant- and I highly support throwing it far away from you and never touching it again lol. I wish I had never read it 🙈
This was on my list to read but it’s not anymore! Hahaha. We have very similar tastes so i think it’s safe to say I would agree with you and I won’t subject my brain to it. Thanks for saving us B!♥️♥️
I really hated and loved this book. I wouldn’t recommend this book to someone that has mental health issues and isn’t stable enough but it really got trough to you and just to think about that this „stuff“ really happens is disgusting and frustrating. The only complaint that I had was I was really mad at the people around Jude because they just let him do his thing. I understand that he didn’t want any help and was pushing them away but I mean If you knew that your friend was suffering you would do anything even if he didn’t like it. It was really „interesting“ and „scary“ to see how someone like Jude thinks and feels and it makes you really think about literally everything. The ending really just broke my heart and I totally didn’t expect it. But all in all if you’re looking for something that’s really going to break you, this book is for you. Totally cried my heart out.
Your comment about his friends enabling him is so true. I feel like these friendships are abusive because they all have to live with the possibility that Jude could commit suicide any moment and with his self harm and yet they aren't allowed to talk to him or anyone about it, that's so disturbing
wholeheartedly agree! The older I get, the more I notice that the best kinds of friendships are when you "parent" each other. Friends should look out for each other, protect each other, and point out dangerous behaviours. Enablers are dangerous. Not that their hearts aren't in the right place, but friendships should never be based on fear of saying or doing the "wrong" thing. if that makes sense?
I feel like the people who think this is trash or trauma porn are people with low empathy levels (not talking about the lovely lady talking in this video, she clearly felt for the characters). Because people, real people, go through to these things every day! And a piece of literature that makes me feel so many things is proof of how great a writer she is. Jude never learned how to talk because he feels SHAME. Have yall felt shame in your life, something you've never been capable of sharing with someone else?? Cause, i have. Jude thinks he is disgusting and scared everyone will leave him if they find out about his past. To me, it is absolutely depressing how the adults meant to protect him failed him time and time again, and then what does the reader expect?! That he will trust other people to share his secrets?! He even says that he can't believe that Luke and Traylor are the same species as Harold and Willem because of the brutality of Luke and Traylor, as opposed to the kindness and love of Harold and Willem. For Jude, being "loved and saved" has always always come with a price!!! Of course, he can't speak!! But he eventually tells Willem, which makes their relationship even more beautiful. And let's not forget how Luke TAUGHT him how to self-harm, so that isn't his fault either. Jude suffers severe PTSD and he's super anxious, that's why he cuts, it offers him a sense of relief whilst also punishing himself for the good things happening to him because guess what...HE DOESNT BELIEVE HE DESERVES THEM!! The point is that Jude did not think he could be saved. Even his name is ironical because St. Jude is the pateron of lost causes, which Jude sees himself like this. Jude couldn't talk , guys. He was taught he was disgusting and that he deserved to be abandoned . Also, we as people wanna think that if we love someone deeply traumatised , they go to therapy, take their pills, and just be well, right? Wrong. Hanya Yanagihara wanted to make the story of someone who can't get well and can't be fixed or saved. And that is the sad reality for many people. I've considered su.cide and I know how it feels, the desperation and anguish of not wanting to be here anymore because there's nothing for me to offer to the world. All in all, I think Willem was bisexual, although it doesn't matter in the end. What mattered was that Willem loved Jude and Jude loved Willem. Yes, it is a hopeless book, but that was the point. I wish a real therapist would analyse the book and offer all of us better points about layered trauma and how to ask for help. Sadly, I'm sure lots of people go through what Jude went through and we need to talk more about it. personally, i loved the book. There is a lot of love in it, despite the abuse and trauma in it. Wish i would have had a dad like Harold💔😢
Thank you for this review. I just dnf’d this hot garbage and it’s great that you summed up all my feelings but in a way that makes way more sense than I ever coukd
Throw it away! 🙈 I still have this on my shelf (turned backwards) because I can't imagine leaving it for someone else to find. I don't want to be the reason it ends up in someone else's hands
I totally agree!! Wherever you see people talking about it everyone goes like this is a very emotional and life changing book and there are warnings but no one really tells you why exactly is it so painful. So obviously you feel intrigued to read it and find out. That's why I read it. I don't understand why people say that it is a book about friendship because it was never a story of the four friends. Malcolm and JB are there only to be used as disposable characters. That is why I didn't even feel remotely sad when Malcolm died. And the whole thing about Jude's past is made up deliberately just to get an emotional reaction out of you. Like the whole thing with the monastery and Brother Luke and the counselors was so much that by the time I read the part about Dr. Taylor I just felt bored because like yeah our main character who already went through so much just never meets a good person ever before he turns sixteen and the first person he runs into after escaping his previous life is obviously a psycho who will kidnap him and run him over with his car and there is no reason of why he does it other that they just wanted every second of Jude's childhood to be excruciatingly painful. When you said that this book romanticizes and glorifies suicide I felt it because really when I was reading the part when Jude attempted suicide I really found myself agreeing with his choice and that was horrifying because I seriously don't think that suicide is the solution to anything. And I just hated why they even had to add romance in Jude's and Willem's relationship after mentioning it in the book that it wasn't necessary for people to be related or romantically involved to want to be with one another. That friendship was enough. I hated how by the last couple parts of book Jude started ignoring Harold like Harold is still in the story to make Jude feel guilty about one more thing and be someone to tell the story after Willem's death. And Willem's death was completely pointless. It was just there to give one more shock factor. But I still kept reading with only one hope that Jude might one day come out of it and fight. But no he just keeps on repeating the same things and then hating himself for doing them. He feels guilty for cutting himself, for not being able to live a normal life and for bringing his friends problems and sadness but he continues doing them nonetheless. He doesn't change at all throughout his life, remains the same person with the same problems never standing up to fight against them. And finally when he committed suicide I just felt extremely disappointed and angry. ZERO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. That was the most pathetic thing about the story.
YES. This book was on my list since it contained subject matter relevant to a book I’m trying to write and it came so highly recommended. The entire experience was like being dragged through mud. I kept pushing myself to finish it in hopes that something would click for me, that I would somehow find the attachment to these characters that all the sobbing CZcamsrs had somehow bonded with, but none of the four friends were believable enough for that to be possible, and two of those friends were ditched so early on in the story. It felt as if HY was trying to throw every imaginable trauma at the reader in hopes of triggering an emotional response, all the while sacrificing character development and plot. It’s misery p*rn at best, with the abysmal conclusion that some people are just so damaged that they’d be better off giving up.
I thought I was the only one who felt angry about this book, and I started to tell my friends I have no soul it seems haha. Yes, it’s shocking and sad but more than anything I was mad. If I am not mistaken, the author intended to write a book about a MC who never gets better, and in that sense she did succeed. Thank you for your review!
And we read how many pages of describing his trauma, his self harm, etc; and by the time he inevitably ends it we get a one sentence description of that moment.
Me, a person who loved a little life: oh hmm I wonder what other books this person who hates a little life reads, like beyond what I can tell visually, what kinds of people hate this book *Visits channel* "How I read my Bible" *Spit take* alrighty then
@@callmeaftercoffee soooo confusing!! She using "he" in the beginning chapter and keep using it for the entire story!! I always wonder who said this, who said that. duh...
THANK YOU. so many straight able-bodied people (not calling you that, just generalizing some of the people who love it) loved or pretended to love it because it had diverse characters so of course they felt they had to empathize no matter what. but those people didn’t read author interviews. they didn’t analyze the “why” of the trauma. this book was trauma porn, point blank, in my opinion. it infuriates me, honestly! at least the characters were well written which is more i can say about other books with similar problems, but, it frustrates me when talented writers do awful things with it- such as implant horrific things for the sake of it and don’t provide purpose to those things later on. or include (or exclude) certain things over and over again (such as people not labeling themselves just because, even if they are fully detailed enough that we can knowingly label them ourselves) but not give much of any development to that later on, or provide purpose as to why there was no development. this just outcasts readers who are trying to relate but almost feel unrepresented or excluded even if the character is like them in every other way. or, most of all, implant specific torture (literal or self-inflicted or symbolic/metaphorical) without using it as a tool of hope in the end. even The Bell Jar, whose real life author’s death we all know so well, had a tinge of hope throughout, even at the end when she fears The Bell Jar may descend upon her again at any time. we still feel like Esther is trying to live despite that. IN SPITE OF that bell jar. or consider a recent novel, All My Puny Sorrows- i won’t give any spoilers, but two sisters struggle with the concept of death, one of them with her own demise and craving it as if depression is undeniably a terminal illness. the other struggles to convince her this is not true. even with the bleakness of all of this and the honesty of the suicidal character, we are still left with the reality of life yes, being bleak, but worth surviving through, having its own hope and happinesses anyways, even where it doesnt seem like there should be. you still leave the novel (or film, which there is now, and it’s great) wanting to live. everyone i know has left A Little Life feeling like the book itself has killed them. that’s all i have to say. if you want to understand why that happens so well with this book: google the author’s thoughts on suicidal ideation, mental illness, psychiatry! jude’s life struggles and her admitted lack of research! yeah, it sucks. she has potential to write some for-the-ages shit, if she does her research and focuses as much on the intents and purposes of the work as she doesnto attention to detail/descriptive language.. sorry that was MY rant lmao 🫥🫠🫣
What got on my nerves the most is the non-reference thing you mention, like "he" did this, or that, and you can't quite figure out who the author's referring to. Also, the parts where Harold talks to somebody in second person, I actually had to google for reference because, again, I couldn't figure out who was talking. I also think the author overdoes the abuse thing with Jude, like every single situation in his life calls for abuse, even that one at the end of the novel when JB kisses him... and this thing that he kept agonizingly apologizing also made more mad rhan sorry about him. And the story is excruciatingly long, whole patches could have been trimmed down....
I feel the same way about unhauling this book. I think it can be damaging in the wrong hands. It's still lying around in the attic bit I'll probably put in recycling the next time I move.
I honestly loved the book and it's great to see an alternative point of view. I would just like to point out one thing about the whole group blowing up because of JB, during the intervention. I feel Jude thought in a very irrational way, anyone who has read the book will agree that he just has heaps upon heaps of deep rooted insecurities. What JB did confirmed what he had susepcted all along, a neurotypical person might've not reacted like Jude and maybe not have taken all of it to heart and so personally but the thing is Jude was not okay, he does not think like you and me.. that is the reason why I don't see it as odd for their friendship to suffer the way it did. The charecters are flawed but I think that's what makes them realistic, Willem obviously took sides and I personally think rightly so, you do that when you're in a relationship with someone and love them a whole lot more than everyone else. Also I feel that the fact that as the story progresses yanagihara made JB and Malcolm more of background charecters to make a point, that as you get older your path becomes narrower and narrower. You don't remain as close to all the people you were when you were young when you get older as well.
I appreciate your input, but I still think that while jude and JB were both acting out, Willem and Malcolm(is that the other one?) should have tried to help them navigate their problems/ mend the friendships. There were way too many instances of enabling dangerous behaviours in A Little Life. Loving someone doesn't mean that you shouldn't tell them the truth of things or add insight to a situation. Taking sides for the sake of love without weighing facts isn't right in my opinion. I'm glad for you that you enjoyed it though.
I can agree that the book is difficult to get through, but I disagree that’s it not worth reading. A book doesn’t always need to give you hope. I feel that these stories are also important.
I'm glad (for your sake) that you found some importance in the novel, but I still have to disagree personally 😂🙈 There's not giving you hope, and then there's leaving people in a black pit of despair. But that's the beauty of free speech! You can write anything you'd like
a fact or two for anyone who DID SOMEHOW think you were not empathizing or thought that you were ignorant for saying just speak up: 1. the author has the power to show both that it is hard to speak up AND that it is good to speak up, even if it takes hundreds of pages, if only to prove to someone out there reading that they deserve to be listened to and helped 2. reason why this didn’t unfold in the ways or at the times that it could have: the author ADMITTEDLY (in interviews!) doesn’t even believe in talk therapy [“for herself”], and does believe that for some people, mental illness is undeniably terminal _[and not simply in the future tense that for some people it has been-people who’ve died already by suicide obviously-but even for people who are still alive with still a chance to be helped properly.]_ *_BASICALLY, TAKE THE EMOTIONAL OUTCOMES OF THIS NOVEL WITH THE PUREST GRAIN OF SALT. BECAUSE WE CLEARLY HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THE AUTHOR’s INTENTIONS WERE. xoxo_*
My thoughts are different to the book than most negative comments here. I think the book is simply about how trauma can be so bad that there cannot be a happy end. And for some people that tragically is the case. Also remember, it‘s a work of fiction, so I don’t see the criticism which call it trauma porn or accuse HY of being a sadist or sth like that. The book is simply about a tragic life and the perspective of Jude on his life. There need not be a happy end for everything.
But you shouldn’t send out the message that people can’t heal. I saw so many people hurt by this thing that survived similar abuse, like could you imagine being told that you should be dead.
So I watched another CZcamsr reading this book and then talk a little bit about it. The same CZcamsr also put every trigger warning found in the book. And I decided watch another vid on it. Thank you so much for this video as someone who has read 13 reasons why and has battled with depression this book would have made me so sad. Also really upset. It seems like this author is saying if a traumatic thing has happened to you once? Odds are hella high the cycle will keep continuing. Do you think this book will get some type of adaptation like 13 reasons why was given? That same sex relationship reminds of another couple. Who is Elena and Damon, on the show these two were made to have this epic love. As a teen I shipped them. But then I Re-watched the show and realized Elena and Damon aren’t healthy for each other. Sure they had epic vampire sex, she saw the ‘good’ in him, etc. but..if either pissed the other off? It was manipulation city. With a little life? It sounds like one character did that to the other or just depended on this person heavily. Which is so unhealthy.
From what I've read the author is not a fan of therapy, which I don't agree with at all, but feel free to do your own reading on the author. I'd like to read their other book just to see if it's a one-off thing or if this author just isn't for me. I hated the manipulation so much. Not that the characters were written like they were doing it intentionally, but still it was a very warped relationship and I dont think it should be romanticized at all!
Hello everyone! I liked much this "video-review" about this great novel. In my country I'm looking for the version in English, because I'm learning this language. Greetings from Sonora, México 🇲🇽👍💖🙏
I gave up before finding out Jude was having sex and feeling raped for 4 years. It's interesting you were frustrated with Jude. I completely understand why he wouldn't tell anyone and internalise, but my God the people around him are they so selfish and daft!! They did nothing to help him! The doctor should have forcefully helped Jude. Harold Willem...how can you know someone is cutting themselves and let them continue!!!
When the Willem/Jude relationship turned romantic, I felt it completely ruined the story. The magnificent story of "friends" became just another what can you do for me situation. This book was just too much all the time, to the point of absurdity. Unfortunate, because her style of writing is amazing.
I just read the book and am watching reviews from people who didn't like it. The reasons you state, along with others come from an immature, narrow minded and idialistic view of the world. Pain and suffering isn't a choice. I guess you're critical of all that have commited suicide. They just needed to speak up right? It does sound like you lack empathy. Maybe you can read it again in your 40's.
I felt like Jude holding that endless grudge for JB was inconsistent with his character of constantly denigrating himself and feeling like he deserves bad treatment. As in, he chooses that for himself everyday (although it's heavily dictated by his trauma), but cannot forgive his friend's stupid stunt in the midst of an addiction-caused breakdown? I felt annoyed with both of them to be honest
i'm still surprised i gave this 2 stars * spoilers ahead * this book left me thinking, and besides what i already said in my video, i couldn't like this book because i felt that i'd have to be ok with a friend taking their own life if they really wanted, and i don't think i'll ever think that's ok jude didn't even try to become better, not once, and his friends didn't try hard at all
Yes to all of this! The only good thing that came out of reading this, was that someone did tell me they were having suicidal thoughts, and I did tell their family. Since I told myself I'd never be like one of Jude's friends.
No, if you read the book using good reading skills you’d know exactly who Hanya was talking abt, it was so obvious when you make sure you absorb every detail and don’t skim through the beginning
This book was so awful. I mean not awful like is was painful and traumatic but I felt like how unlucky Jude needs to be to make a book that depressive?
I see why you find this book horrible, and I think it depends on how you view the world. People who internalise the plot and ‘want’ something from the plot will be disappointed. People who believe there is always something to live for will be disappointed. People who believe that mental illness and trauma can be recovered from will be disappointed. The book is as much a commentary on human psychology and deep deep routed philosophy on the meaning as like as it is a commentary on the friend group. If you’re reading to follow the characters, you might also be disappointed. What this books does for me is convey a deep message on the meaning of life and how that is so different for everyone. The world isn’t for everyone. Not everyone is meant to live. The story explores the characters reaction and realisation to this. You focus on the social politics of this book when it is so much more. The characters arguing and the meaning behind it is so surface level. You say malcom is ‘just an architect’ but you’re not looking close enough. He represents a more structural, rational person in modern life. He is built on pillars and values, is kind and thoughtful who pays attention to detail. All the characters take a different philosophical stand point. Your review is very surface level focusing on character traits but not looking further than the social politics of this book.
@@Sisi-ep3wn I don‘t think that‘s what they meant. The author wants to say that there is no complete recovery from trauma. One needs to learn to live with it. And what‘s happening here is that all these male characters fail at communicating with each other. And e.g. Willem tries to ignore Jude‘s condition, hoping that everything will turn out well without helping him. And that was obviously completely wrong. The author wants the reader to see how social life changes, and how it is affected by mental illness. And how it is not supposed to be handled. Of course a lot of people do not like this approach, this lack of development. And that‘s ok, and I get why it upsets people. It‘s certainly not the hopeful story one would usually expect.
Aha but the author admitted that it was meant to paint his traumas as something that he couldn’t work through and had to end it the way he did. That’s just no Art it’s disgusting
This review is utterly naive and pointless. I mean, seriously? You want another redemption stories manifesting false hope? The point of the book is for the readers to put themselves into the psyche of a traumatic person. It’s an empathy/compassion challenge book. The ending must force you to introspect - to see how privilege you are - and also to realize how little life we have (of course privileged people cant relate). If you failed to see the power of friendship, love, and compassion in this book you are totally not getting the point.
@@i.j.morrow4925 the author actually explicitly said she wanted some parts of the book to be fairytale like in their exaggeration (both the good and the bad parts), so by her own account it’s not meant to be realistic at all, from the little I’ve researched it seems like her goal was to write a book that would evoke as many heavy emotions as possible, so I guess in that she succeeded
@@callmeaftercoffee sorry sis I haven't read the book yet, I just heard of it and watched vlogs and author interviews so I didn't finish the whole vid since you warned about the spoilers, I don't want to be spoiled 🤗💖
I read this in early 2017 and felt exactly the way you did. I STILL sometimes think about it out of nowhere (like tonight), get enraged, and then need to find a negative review to remind myself I am not the only reader who hated this. I found this video by typing "a little life book review negative" in the search bar LOL, so thanks!
You win comment of the week 😂😂😂😂😂
This is how I feel about it too... I hated it so much I had to go digging for other people lol
Hahahahahahahahaha honestly thanks for being so honest. I loved the book but, goddamn, you people who hated it really hate it!
Yanigahara wrote this book from the opinion she has on mental health treatment and suicide. She wanted to write a book about someone who gets progressively worse to the point of committing suicide. She believes that some people are so broken that there is no hope in helping them and doesn’t understand why we, as a society, insist on suicide prevention. She refers to therapy as ‘talk therapy’ which I find insulting. She says that therapy is like religion. It only works because people believe it works. This is coming from someone who used over 700 pages of words …
I am surprised that no one is talking about this. She has explicitly stated her opinion on these issues.
@@PerishanHusseinevery single video on ALL has people pasting this over all the comments. I guess she was right about it being like a religion...
I will keep saying it over and over. If you were never suicidal and you were never abused as a child, this book is torture porn, but for me, for someone who has felt like Jude their whole life until i (unlike him) got help and got better, IT IS A REALITY. Life isn't fair and it is what it is but this book was validating and I will always defend it.
I feel like the author googled "topics that would make people feel disgusted and miserable" before starting to write and put all the stuff (child abuse, self-harming, suicide, depression, drug addiction, sexual abuse and abusive relationships, mental and physical illness, etc) in just one freaking book just to get a reaction from the reader. So manipulative...
Wholeheartedly agree!
And the suicide/self-harm felt very romanticized to me, which I always find offputting and likely dangerous to the wrong reader.
She actually admitted to have done no prior research on disabled people or mental health, so... She actually just wrote what she thought it would be like and that's not ok...
My partner just finished reading this and through the process would give me updates here and there. To me it all sounded very contrived, but she was liking it through most of the book. She made the point that trauma is often a cycle, and some people really can experience that much hardship, which is a really good point. But then when she got past the car accident and actually finished it, her opinion did a harsh 180. Everything that she said worked while she was reading the earlier parts came crashing down. It's very telling that the author wanted to write about people suffering from so much trauma, but she famously didn't do any research into the actual experience of these traumas.
We've been looking up reviews from other folks who didn't like the book to validate our own thoughts, because everyone elsewe know has loved this book. It's very reassuring to know it's not just us.
"partner" oh just stop with that. Go away.
@@Cuyt24 Lol! Sorry if my non-gendered language offends you. Excuse me for not wanting to support the wedding industrial complex just to say "my wife", or for not referring to the woman I've been in a relationship with for 12 years as "my girlfriend". You have a nice day and please also get a life, or at least a grip. 🤣
@@punkrockzoologist9449 Wedding industrial complex? People can just go to city hall and get married. Are you a guy? Are you gay? Are you trans? I think business partner at first when people say partner. You could avoid so much confusion by saying girlfriend or wife. Let's assume you are a cis guy.....oof, 12 years without making a commitment to her. Yikes. You shouldn't be proud of that. I bet she resents you. You never want to call her your wife. You can legally get away from her without consequences. You can just leave in the night if you wanted. I wonder what her family thinks. 12 year live in boyfriend who refuses to commit to her. You sound like a real winner.
“I felt like my mind was screaming the whole time I was reading this” YES! that feeling was so overwhelming I just wanted to be done with it.
I feel so seen when other people understand my loathing for this book 😂
thank you for this review. everyone gives these trigger warnings, but then glorifies how good the book is and doesn’t go into spoilers, expecting people to be manipulated by book tube FOMO to read it themselves (which in itself is gross lol). i’m so glad you gave a spoiler review for this reason, because i wasn’t about to pull the trigger (pun not intended) on a book that had these warnings attached without knowing what that entailed.
now i know i won’t read it. i don’t need trauma porn from someone that doesn’t relate, and i sure as hell don’t need to be manipulated to that level by the art i consume and by the cult following that shills it. it’s gross and i’m disheartened that so many people want to recklessly push others head first into the triggers without actually giving adequate explanation for it. it’s dangerous and doesn’t look out for other people, and the “teehee i love the book but i could never recommend it! xd” smacks of trying to bait people into reading it anyway.
i just. yikes.
I FEEL EVERY BIT of your comment
Yes YES YES. Absolutely .
You are not alone in hating this book. The book made me so angry and honestly by the end, I felt like the author just tried to throw in as much pain and horror as she could into one book.
Right? I felt like she had a jar of tragedies and just kept pulling them out until the jar was empty
My cousin recommended this book to me (first time she EVER did that). I asked her what did I ever do to her to deserve that. 😳
It's been so long since I filmed this but I'm pretty sure at some point I say I wouldn't wish this book on my worst enemy 🙈 I still stand by that!
This book is so melodramatic and pretentious that it felt like a parody to me, like there were "harsh" scenes where i just laughed out loud bc how much more can this boy take lmao
I feel like I did this too, like facepalm moments where I couldn't even believe another thing was happening. Torture porn is not an understatement with this one 🙈
Totally!!!
Can you believe I am someone who hasnt read the book and Absolutely hate it? I JUST KNOW The STORY AND I FEEL PATHETIC .YOUR COMMENT IS SO RELATABLE. GREAT JOB AT INTERPRETING ALL HATERS ANGST! Thank God I didn't put myself through this.
the book was so well written and ofc I love Jude but OMFG I can't believe everything turned out like that. I felt so BAD for Jude the whole time and I was angry that every one around him just let him do what he wanted
I was angry the whole time too! I was screaming STOP ENABLING!
But after the stuff started piling up, I just couldn't take the torture seriously anymore, no way every single thing that happened could happen to one person 🙈
@@callmeaftercoffee you would chook if you go to real life then. Just search in CZcams random cases and you will see.
I feel the same way. I finished reading A Little Life a few days ago and I just hated it. While I was reading it I got Wattpad fanfic vibes. I really like Hanya’s writing but the book felt like wasted potential tbh. Personally I think this book would’ve been better if Jude has a breaking point where he just says “my mental health is really bad and I need help”. As someone that has depression and struggle with self harm this book is triggering. I’d put a huge trigger warning on the book. I felt so hopeless after finishing the book like I felt there was no hope for me to get better. This book is a big no for me.
I'm so sorry you read it! I hated it too, I haven't struggled with those issues, but this book put me in such a funk! It's got so many things in it, even as long as it's been since I read it, i have horrible feelings toward it.
It not realistic,people who afront all that boy go over,sometimes doesn't get better or just want to cure in the 80% of the case
I don't think Jude needed to ask for help. His friends should have helped him. His doctor should have helped him. How does Jude even survive for so long?!!!
Also, I feel like the book would have been so much better had it had a proper cathartic moment, which could go either in a lighter or a darker direction. For example, having that graphic su*cidal scene be actually successful and then continuing the story from his friends' points of view, listing their regrets and ideas about what they could have done differently; or as someone else wrote in the comments, taking Jude to rock bottom and evoking in him this realization that he does need to get better and if he is considering not being alive anymore, then he has nothing to lose and might at least try therapy, and then slowly pick up the pieces from there.
I felt like the author didn't believe in therapy as such and reduced it to an unpleasant chore that Jude eventually faced, as opposed to giving it space in the story to unfold and to illustrate the hard, but beautiful process of healing with the help of a processional (even if she did decide to make Jude give up in the end).
So glad to get a perspective that isn't gushing about how heart breaking this book is. It sounds awful and I have no desire to read it but with all synopsis I've read and reviews I don't know how it could be so popular.
I wholeheartedly thought I was going to love it when I bought it (I love when books break my heart and make me cry)...
But this one did neither and left me furious. I have a hard time getting why it's so popular 🙈
Exactly! Brilliant and passionate summary on all counts ... now let’s breath and move on...and... “let that shit go” ... in the 25 cent yard sale pile.
... or for kindling... 😂👍🏼
"That's not a good friend."
That's the point! She's telling the story about how JB wasn't a good friend.
"To me that's not a good relationship "
That's the point! The story isn't about a "healthy" relationship.
50% of reviews are about people complaining about how they don't like X character or X situation.
To kill a mockingbird reviews saying "so much racism in this book" THAT'S THE POINT.
Putting unlikable characters and situations in stories is a main part of storytelling.
Like saying The Little Mermaid was a terrible movie because that character Ursula was so mean.
That's. The. Point.
Just found this review because I could only find glowing reviews for this book. I would personally give it 4 stars because I couldn’t put it down and I found her writing to my taste. But I had huuuuge problems with the pure torture porn this book was. People can go through multiple traumas but it just felt like a cheap mechanism by the end. Death after death, abuse after abuse. It became almost unbelievable and by the end I didn’t feel much emotion. No tears fell from my eyes. The only physical reaction I had was during self harm scenes where I found myself gripping the book because I was so engrossed in the imagery.
The one character that annoyed me most was ANDY! He should have put his friendship aside and been a professional and had Jude committed or tried to convince Harold and Julia to do so. I asked my best friend if I were Jude and told him not to have me put in a hospital, would he do it? He said yes, if I feared for your life. I couldn’t believe a doctor would let Jude fall through the cracks like that. Especially considering he has the money for treatment and care. And Harold and Julia have the money for treatment and care. And so do all of his successful friends. Ugh.
A book that truly divides my mind. Would I recommend it? Hesitantly. And with lots of trigger warnings.
Great breakdown! and yes, I believe Andy was super unprofessional. He should have set his friendship aside and done his job. I do know someone who was toying with suicide, and I held on to it for a while, but after reading this book he brought it up again and I went to his parents so they knew what was going on. No one can help if they don't know, in my opinion.
Great points about JB's intervention and Jude lying to Willem for four years. I completely missed those because I was totally checked out by the time I got to them. I recently finished the book and was looking for other negative reviews just to prove to myself that I'm not crazy for hating it. Thanks for uploading this video!
YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE.
Every time someone come across this looking for tea I feel so validated 😂💕
Thank you, thank you so MUCH, for mentioning that writing problem at 4:17. I thought I was the only one, felt so dumb for it. Thank you
THANK YOU haha! I thought I was alone too lol
I see your point and understand it, but as someone who has dealt with depression, anxiety, had been abused by many people whom I trusted, I can't help but relate to Jude entirely. I'm where he meets Caleb and my heart is breaking because Jude thinks he doesn't deserve to be loved, same as me. So, in many things I don't agree with the book but so many more I feel that Jude is me and can't overlook that and yes, a long time ago I did plan my way out. Some days are easy but many days are just really hard to handle at all
I hate this book so much. The part Dear Comrade where he is grieving Willem's death is not really captured properly in this book. According to the book that was the turning point in Jude's life somehow, after which he lost whatever interest he had in living and became a bitter person. But rather than this book I think P.S. I Love You by Cecelia Ahern depicts the loss of a loved one more beautifully. Though the two books are of different genre all together but somehow while reading this book I was reminded of P.S. I Love You which I read long ago and had felt what real grieving is when you lose someone close.
Another problem with this book was not the fact that people don't have multiple traumas, people do infact have multiple traumas throughout their life but the fact that almost all the people he knew from his twenties were all so nice and sweet and patient with him throughout his fifties is what makes it a little absurd for me. Its like the people around him inspite of being in their fifties and sixties do not have anything to do other than just caring and worrying about Jude all day. They are Almost always available for him and so very patient with him despite the fact he became a really rude person towards the end of the book. I doubt so many people like Harold, Julia, Richard, Andy, JB, Henry Young and so many others would have been this patient with someone like Jude in real life. Its just my point of view though but I doubt so many people would be so giving and patient and so understanding towards Jude had this been in real life especially as they were themselves close to sixties and he in his fifties.
So happy I came across this review. This is the first review I’ve seen that I 100% agree with. We share the same frustrations! I read it because I saw so many people raving about it and how it absolutely wrecked them. I took so long to finish it because I was literally forcing myself to read the entire thing. I honestly wanted to give up like 1/4 of the way in.
Would definitely not recommend. I didn’t even shed one tear.
I was so mad for the last 3/4. It's still my most hated book I've ever read lol
I love this book very much, but dammit if you don’t make incredibly strong arguments against it. Hope is vital for depressives to fight (our, I speak from experience) self-destructive desires, but Hanya the author has openly said that part of her intent with A Little Life was to show, however melodramatically, that for some people, life simply never has a chance to improve, and there is not enough time, sometimes, to heal once a certain threshold of trauma is passed.
Solid review. I admire your passionate take.
I really appreciate your comment! Thank you for taking the time to watch and for not getting flustered that I didn't enjoy it. Such a fresh feeling to have someone be positive about something even if they have a different opinion ☺️.
One positive thing that did come from this novel and my levels of frustration, was that someone very dear to me did say that they were in a suicidal place and I stuck to my guns and shared it with their parents. I just couldn't stand by and wait and hope, and I also couldn't hold onto something that was eating me up inside.
Thank you for this review! I'm around 200 pages into the book and am already exceedingly frustrated and really REALLY not liking the premise or intent so I was seeking out negative reviews because it seemed like everyone on social media absolutely LOVED this book and found this one. I was wondering if I should push on (even if just to have read the whole thing so I can critique it even further and have a more valid argument lmao) but I think this review has solidified that I'm not even going to finish it because it's not worth it for my own sake. The characterization and everything felt contrived and I really dislike things I've seen the author saying in statements about abuse and psychiatry coupled with the fact that she is not even coming from a place of experiencing any of the perspectives of these characters just leaves such a horrible taste in my mouth. Sorry for the rant I just have so many thoughts about this book and it's nice to see other people also really disliked it and I'm not alone!
You are so not alone! I loved reading the rant- and I highly support throwing it far away from you and never touching it again lol. I wish I had never read it 🙈
This was on my list to read but it’s not anymore! Hahaha. We have very similar tastes so i think it’s safe to say I would agree with you and I won’t subject my brain to it. Thanks for saving us B!♥️♥️
Any time 😉 hehehe.
I really hated and loved this book. I wouldn’t recommend this book to someone that has mental health issues and isn’t stable enough but it really got trough to you and just to think about that this „stuff“ really happens is disgusting and frustrating. The only complaint that I had was I was really mad at the people around Jude because they just let him do his thing. I understand that he didn’t want any help and was pushing them away but I mean If you knew that your friend was suffering you would do anything even if he didn’t like it. It was really „interesting“ and „scary“ to see how someone like Jude thinks and feels and it makes you really think about literally everything. The ending really just broke my heart and I totally didn’t expect it. But all in all if you’re looking for something that’s really going to break you, this book is for you. Totally cried my heart out.
I felt the same about everything that happened to Jude. Everything was just TOO convenient.
Yes! Every time a new thing would come up, I'd end up rolling my eyes like *of COURSE there's another thing*
Your comment about his friends enabling him is so true. I feel like these friendships are abusive because they all have to live with the possibility that Jude could commit suicide any moment and with his self harm and yet they aren't allowed to talk to him or anyone about it, that's so disturbing
wholeheartedly agree! The older I get, the more I notice that the best kinds of friendships are when you "parent" each other. Friends should look out for each other, protect each other, and point out dangerous behaviours. Enablers are dangerous. Not that their hearts aren't in the right place, but friendships should never be based on fear of saying or doing the "wrong" thing. if that makes sense?
Exactly especially Andy who is his DOCTOR!
I feel like the people who think this is trash or trauma porn are people with low empathy levels (not talking about the lovely lady talking in this video, she clearly felt for the characters). Because people, real people, go through to these things every day! And a piece of literature that makes me feel so many things is proof of how great a writer she is. Jude never learned how to talk because he feels SHAME. Have yall felt shame in your life, something you've never been capable of sharing with someone else?? Cause, i have.
Jude thinks he is disgusting and scared everyone will leave him if they find out about his past. To me, it is absolutely depressing how the adults meant to protect him failed him time and time again, and then what does the reader expect?! That he will trust other people to share his secrets?! He even says that he can't believe that Luke and Traylor are the same species as Harold and Willem because of the brutality of Luke and Traylor, as opposed to the kindness and love of Harold and Willem. For Jude, being "loved and saved" has always always come with a price!!! Of course, he can't speak!! But he eventually tells Willem, which makes their relationship even more beautiful.
And let's not forget how Luke TAUGHT him how to self-harm, so that isn't his fault either.
Jude suffers severe PTSD and he's super anxious, that's why he cuts, it offers him a sense of relief whilst also punishing himself for the good things happening to him because guess what...HE DOESNT BELIEVE HE DESERVES THEM!!
The point is that Jude did not think he could be saved. Even his name is ironical because St. Jude is the pateron of lost causes, which Jude sees himself like this.
Jude couldn't talk , guys. He was taught he was disgusting and that he deserved to be abandoned .
Also, we as people wanna think that if we love someone deeply traumatised , they go to therapy, take their pills, and just be well, right? Wrong. Hanya Yanagihara wanted to make the story of someone who can't get well and can't be fixed or saved. And that is the sad reality for many people. I've considered su.cide and I know how it feels, the desperation and anguish of not wanting to be here anymore because there's nothing for me to offer to the world.
All in all, I think Willem was bisexual, although it doesn't matter in the end. What mattered was that Willem loved Jude and Jude loved Willem.
Yes, it is a hopeless book, but that was the point.
I wish a real therapist would analyse the book and offer all of us better points about layered trauma and how to ask for help. Sadly, I'm sure lots of people go through what Jude went through and we need to talk more about it. personally, i loved the book. There is a lot of love in it, despite the abuse and trauma in it. Wish i would have had a dad like Harold💔😢
Exactly. Detailed and very insightful comment.
Thank you for this review. I just dnf’d this hot garbage and it’s great that you summed up all my feelings but in a way that makes way more sense than I ever coukd
Throw it away! 🙈 I still have this on my shelf (turned backwards) because I can't imagine leaving it for someone else to find. I don't want to be the reason it ends up in someone else's hands
Dude that's such a good point about the intervention !! I never thought of that but you're so right. It felt like very fanfiction-y conflict
I totally agree!! Wherever you see people talking about it everyone goes like this is a very emotional and life changing book and there are warnings but no one really tells you why exactly is it so painful. So obviously you feel intrigued to read it and find out. That's why I read it. I don't understand why people say that it is a book about friendship because it was never a story of the four friends. Malcolm and JB are there only to be used as disposable characters. That is why I didn't even feel remotely sad when Malcolm died. And the whole thing about Jude's past is made up deliberately just to get an emotional reaction out of you. Like the whole thing with the monastery and Brother Luke and the counselors was so much that by the time I read the part about Dr. Taylor I just felt bored because like yeah our main character who already went through so much just never meets a good person ever before he turns sixteen and the first person he runs into after escaping his previous life is obviously a psycho who will kidnap him and run him over with his car and there is no reason of why he does it other that they just wanted every second of Jude's childhood to be excruciatingly painful. When you said that this book romanticizes and glorifies suicide I felt it because really when I was reading the part when Jude attempted suicide I really found myself agreeing with his choice and that was horrifying because I seriously don't think that suicide is the solution to anything. And I just hated why they even had to add romance in Jude's and Willem's relationship after mentioning it in the book that it wasn't necessary for people to be related or romantically involved to want to be with one another. That friendship was enough. I hated how by the last couple parts of book Jude started ignoring Harold like Harold is still in the story to make Jude feel guilty about one more thing and be someone to tell the story after Willem's death. And Willem's death was completely pointless. It was just there to give one more shock factor. But I still kept reading with only one hope that Jude might one day come out of it and fight. But no he just keeps on repeating the same things and then hating himself for doing them. He feels guilty for cutting himself, for not being able to live a normal life and for bringing his friends problems and sadness but he continues doing them nonetheless. He doesn't change at all throughout his life, remains the same person with the same problems never standing up to fight against them. And finally when he committed suicide I just felt extremely disappointed and angry. ZERO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. That was the most pathetic thing about the story.
YES. TO. ALL. YOU. SAID!
YES. This book was on my list since it contained subject matter relevant to a book I’m trying to write and it came so highly recommended. The entire experience was like being dragged through mud. I kept pushing myself to finish it in hopes that something would click for me, that I would somehow find the attachment to these characters that all the sobbing CZcamsrs had somehow bonded with, but none of the four friends were believable enough for that to be possible, and two of those friends were ditched so early on in the story. It felt as if HY was trying to throw every imaginable trauma at the reader in hopes of triggering an emotional response, all the while sacrificing character development and plot. It’s misery p*rn at best, with the abysmal conclusion that some people are just so damaged that they’d be better off giving up.
I thought I was the only one who felt angry about this book, and I started to tell my friends I have no soul it seems haha. Yes, it’s shocking and sad but more than anything I was mad. If I am not mistaken, the author intended to write a book about a MC who never gets better, and in that sense she did succeed. Thank you for your review!
I have the same feeling about this book too!
And we read how many pages of describing his trauma, his self harm, etc; and by the time he inevitably ends it we get a one sentence description of that moment.
Me, a person who loved a little life: oh hmm I wonder what other books this person who hates a little life reads, like beyond what I can tell visually, what kinds of people hate this book
*Visits channel* "How I read my Bible"
*Spit take* alrighty then
Thank God!!! 4:17 well said!! I thought I was the only one think that way
Right!? it was so confusing!
@@callmeaftercoffee soooo confusing!! She using "he" in the beginning chapter and keep using it for the entire story!! I always wonder who said this, who said that.
duh...
WOW! I love you so much for saying what you said about JB. Thank you for your empathy.
THANK YOU. so many straight able-bodied people (not calling you that, just generalizing some of the people who love it) loved or pretended to love it because it had diverse characters so of course they felt they had to empathize no matter what. but those people didn’t read author interviews. they didn’t analyze the “why” of the trauma. this book was trauma porn, point blank, in my opinion. it infuriates me, honestly! at least the characters were well written which is more i can say about other books with similar problems, but, it frustrates me when talented writers do awful things with it- such as implant horrific things for the sake of it and don’t provide purpose to those things later on. or include (or exclude) certain things over and over again (such as people not labeling themselves just because, even if they are fully detailed enough that we can knowingly label them ourselves) but not give much of any development to that later on, or provide purpose as to why there was no development. this just outcasts readers who are trying to relate but almost feel unrepresented or excluded even if the character is like them in every other way. or, most of all, implant specific torture (literal or self-inflicted or symbolic/metaphorical) without using it as a tool of hope in the end.
even The Bell Jar, whose real life author’s death we all know so well, had a tinge of hope throughout, even at the end when she fears The Bell Jar may descend upon her again at any time. we still feel like Esther is trying to live despite that. IN SPITE OF that bell jar.
or consider a recent novel, All My Puny Sorrows- i won’t give any spoilers, but two sisters struggle with the concept of death, one of them with her own demise and craving it as if depression is undeniably a terminal illness. the other struggles to convince her this is not true. even with the bleakness of all of this and the honesty of the suicidal character, we are still left with the reality of life yes, being bleak, but worth surviving through, having its own hope and happinesses anyways, even where it doesnt seem like there should be. you still leave the novel (or film, which there is now, and it’s great) wanting to live.
everyone i know has left A Little Life feeling like the book itself has killed them.
that’s all i have to say.
if you want to understand why that happens so well with this book: google the author’s thoughts on suicidal ideation, mental illness, psychiatry! jude’s life struggles and her admitted lack of research! yeah, it sucks. she has potential to write some for-the-ages shit, if she does her research and focuses as much on the intents and purposes of the work as she doesnto attention to detail/descriptive language..
sorry that was MY rant lmao 🫥🫠🫣
My top favorite book 🥹
Forget the book talk, give us an updated tour of the farm, the kids, and chickens!! Hahaha 😀😁👍😊❤
Does anyone think the author is a sadist?
What got on my nerves the most is the non-reference thing you mention, like "he" did this, or that, and you can't quite figure out who the author's referring to.
Also, the parts where Harold talks to somebody in second person, I actually had to google for reference because, again, I couldn't figure out who was talking.
I also think the author overdoes the abuse thing with Jude, like every single situation in his life calls for abuse, even that one at the end of the novel when JB kisses him... and this thing that he kept agonizingly apologizing also made more mad rhan sorry about him.
And the story is excruciatingly long, whole patches could have been trimmed down....
I feel the same way about unhauling this book. I think it can be damaging in the wrong hands. It's still lying around in the attic bit I'll probably put in recycling the next time I move.
I honestly loved the book and it's great to see an alternative point of view. I would just like to point out one thing about the whole group blowing up because of JB, during the intervention. I feel Jude thought in a very irrational way, anyone who has read the book will agree that he just has heaps upon heaps of deep rooted insecurities. What JB did confirmed what he had susepcted all along, a neurotypical person might've not reacted like Jude and maybe not have taken all of it to heart and so personally but the thing is Jude was not okay, he does not think like you and me.. that is the reason why I don't see it as odd for their friendship to suffer the way it did. The charecters are flawed but I think that's what makes them realistic, Willem obviously took sides and I personally think rightly so, you do that when you're in a relationship with someone and love them a whole lot more than everyone else. Also I feel that the fact that as the story progresses yanagihara made JB and Malcolm more of background charecters to make a point, that as you get older your path becomes narrower and narrower. You don't remain as close to all the people you were when you were young when you get older as well.
I appreciate your input, but I still think that while jude and JB were both acting out, Willem and Malcolm(is that the other one?) should have tried to help them navigate their problems/ mend the friendships. There were way too many instances of enabling dangerous behaviours in A Little Life. Loving someone doesn't mean that you shouldn't tell them the truth of things or add insight to a situation. Taking sides for the sake of love without weighing facts isn't right in my opinion.
I'm glad for you that you enjoyed it though.
I can agree that the book is difficult to get through, but I disagree that’s it not worth reading.
A book doesn’t always need to give you hope. I feel that these stories are also important.
I'm glad (for your sake) that you found some importance in the novel, but I still have to disagree personally 😂🙈
There's not giving you hope, and then there's leaving people in a black pit of despair. But that's the beauty of free speech! You can write anything you'd like
a fact or two for anyone who DID SOMEHOW think you were not empathizing or thought that you were ignorant for saying just speak up:
1. the author has the power to show both that it is hard to speak up AND that it is good to speak up, even if it takes hundreds of pages, if only to prove to someone out there reading that they deserve to be listened to and helped
2. reason why this didn’t unfold in the ways or at the times that it could have: the author ADMITTEDLY (in interviews!) doesn’t even believe in talk therapy [“for herself”], and does believe that for some people, mental illness is undeniably terminal _[and not simply in the future tense that for some people it has been-people who’ve died already by suicide obviously-but even for people who are still alive with still a chance to be helped properly.]_
*_BASICALLY, TAKE THE EMOTIONAL OUTCOMES OF THIS NOVEL WITH THE PUREST GRAIN OF SALT. BECAUSE WE CLEARLY HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THE AUTHOR’s INTENTIONS WERE. xoxo_*
My god I hated this book so much and for so many reasons. It’s pure calculated misery porn and I wasn’t here for it.
Right?! I hate read the whole thing 🙈. It was just such pointless torture! And then it ventured into the land of just unbelievable.
My thoughts are different to the book than most negative comments here. I think the book is simply about how trauma can be so bad that there cannot be a happy end. And for some people that tragically is the case. Also remember, it‘s a work of fiction, so I don’t see the criticism which call it trauma porn or accuse HY of being a sadist or sth like that. The book is simply about a tragic life and the perspective of Jude on his life. There need not be a happy end for everything.
But you shouldn’t send out the message that people can’t heal. I saw so many people hurt by this thing that survived similar abuse, like could you imagine being told that you should be dead.
I wholly agree!!!!
I feel sorry for anyone who read this whole thing and didn't like it. It was a terrible experience 🙈.
So I watched another CZcamsr reading this book and then talk a little bit about it. The same CZcamsr also put every trigger warning found in the book. And I decided watch another vid on it. Thank you so much for this video as someone who has read 13 reasons why and has battled with depression this book would have made me so sad.
Also really upset. It seems like this author is saying if a traumatic thing has happened to you once? Odds are hella high the cycle will keep continuing. Do you think this book will get some type of adaptation like 13 reasons why was given?
That same sex relationship reminds of another couple. Who is Elena and Damon, on the show these two were made to have this epic love. As a teen I shipped them. But then I Re-watched the show and realized Elena and Damon aren’t healthy for each other. Sure they had epic vampire sex, she saw the ‘good’ in him, etc. but..if either pissed the other off? It was manipulation city. With a little life? It sounds like one character did that to the other or just depended on this person heavily. Which is so unhealthy.
From what I've read the author is not a fan of therapy, which I don't agree with at all, but feel free to do your own reading on the author. I'd like to read their other book just to see if it's a one-off thing or if this author just isn't for me.
I hated the manipulation so much. Not that the characters were written like they were doing it intentionally, but still it was a very warped relationship and I dont think it should be romanticized at all!
Hello everyone! I liked much this "video-review" about this great novel.
In my country I'm looking for the version in English, because I'm learning this language. Greetings from Sonora, México 🇲🇽👍💖🙏
I'm a gay man, and I also hated it... here's my rant review: czcams.com/video/kdufEO69pEY/video.html
I looked for a summery of the book just because I dont want to read it and you described it very well
The dr traylor storyline was SO unnecessary lol
I gave up before finding out Jude was having sex and feeling raped for 4 years.
It's interesting you were frustrated with Jude. I completely understand why he wouldn't tell anyone and internalise, but my God the people around him are they so selfish and daft!! They did nothing to help him! The doctor should have forcefully helped Jude. Harold Willem...how can you know someone is cutting themselves and let them continue!!!
Not reading not reading not reading! Trigger warnings were enough for me to keep this book at a hand's distance
solid choice for sure!
When the Willem/Jude relationship turned romantic, I felt it completely ruined the story. The magnificent story of "friends" became just another what can you do for me situation. This book was just too much all the time, to the point of absurdity. Unfortunate, because her style of writing is amazing.
I just read the book and am watching reviews from people who didn't like it. The reasons you state, along with others come from an immature, narrow minded and idialistic view of the world. Pain and suffering isn't a choice. I guess you're critical of all that have commited suicide. They just needed to speak up right? It does sound like you lack empathy. Maybe you can read it again in your 40's.
I felt like Jude holding that endless grudge for JB was inconsistent with his character of constantly denigrating himself and feeling like he deserves bad treatment. As in, he chooses that for himself everyday (although it's heavily dictated by his trauma), but cannot forgive his friend's stupid stunt in the midst of an addiction-caused breakdown? I felt annoyed with both of them to be honest
I had to put this book down mid-reading it just because how cruel it was to Jude. tbh I wish I could erase the memory of reading this. 😣
i'm still surprised i gave this 2 stars
* spoilers ahead *
this book left me thinking, and besides what i already said in my video, i couldn't like this book because i felt that i'd have to be ok with a friend taking their own life if they really wanted, and i don't think i'll ever think that's ok
jude didn't even try to become better, not once, and his friends didn't try hard at all
Yes to all of this! The only good thing that came out of reading this, was that someone did tell me they were having suicidal thoughts, and I did tell their family. Since I told myself I'd never be like one of Jude's friends.
4:18 YES YES YES!!! The "He" where you don't know who on earth "he" is!!! SO ANNOYING!
No, if you read the book using good reading skills you’d know exactly who Hanya was talking abt, it was so obvious when you make sure you absorb every detail and don’t skim through the beginning
Yes, yes and more yes. I HATED this book so much, it felt so exploitative and gratuitous.
*slow claps*
This book was so awful. I mean not awful like is was painful and traumatic but I felt like how unlucky Jude needs to be to make a book that depressive?
I see why you find this book horrible, and I think it depends on how you view the world. People who internalise the plot and ‘want’ something from the plot will be disappointed. People who believe there is always something to live for will be disappointed. People who believe that mental illness and trauma can be recovered from will be disappointed. The book is as much a commentary on human psychology and deep deep routed philosophy on the meaning as like as it is a commentary on the friend group. If you’re reading to follow the characters, you might also be disappointed. What this books does for me is convey a deep message on the meaning of life and how that is so different for everyone. The world isn’t for everyone. Not everyone is meant to live. The story explores the characters reaction and realisation to this. You focus on the social politics of this book when it is so much more. The characters arguing and the meaning behind it is so surface level. You say malcom is ‘just an architect’ but you’re not looking close enough. He represents a more structural, rational person in modern life. He is built on pillars and values, is kind and thoughtful who pays attention to detail. All the characters take a different philosophical stand point. Your review is very surface level focusing on character traits but not looking further than the social politics of this book.
@@Sisi-ep3wn I don‘t think that‘s what they meant. The author wants to say that there is no complete recovery from trauma. One needs to learn to live with it. And what‘s happening here is that all these male characters fail at communicating with each other. And e.g. Willem tries to ignore Jude‘s condition, hoping that everything will turn out well without helping him. And that was obviously completely wrong. The author wants the reader to see how social life changes, and how it is affected by mental illness. And how it is not supposed to be handled. Of course a lot of people do not like this approach, this lack of development. And that‘s ok, and I get why it upsets people. It‘s certainly not the hopeful story one would usually expect.
I think if you've had a very privileged life it can be hard to understand Jude's mindset.
lmao what the book and writing style REEKS of privilege
tbh i feel like you weren't able to understand the point of the book ...
book sucks. the philosophical moral point of it doesnt justify how shit it is.
This is a great book and it is anyone's right to not respond to it. But I do not agree with this analysis.
Aha but the author admitted that it was meant to paint his traumas as something that he couldn’t work through and had to end it the way he did. That’s just no Art it’s disgusting
This review is utterly naive and pointless. I mean, seriously? You want another redemption stories manifesting false hope? The point of the book is for the readers to put themselves into the psyche of a traumatic person. It’s an empathy/compassion challenge book. The ending must force you to introspect - to see how privilege you are - and also to realize how little life we have (of course privileged people cant relate).
If you failed to see the power of friendship, love, and compassion in this book you are totally not getting the point.
the author made up Jude's story, its not based in realism at all
@@i.j.morrow4925 if u mean that all friends only are slaves for jude's comfort, what a powerful friendship
@@i.j.morrow4925 the author actually explicitly said she wanted some parts of the book to be fairytale like in their exaggeration (both the good and the bad parts), so by her own account it’s not meant to be realistic at all, from the little I’ve researched it seems like her goal was to write a book that would evoke as many heavy emotions as possible, so I guess in that she succeeded
I will never read this book
Personally, I don't think you're missing out! Haha
I hate this book
there's no plot because it's a literary fiction. it's character driven sis
Well... If you made it through the whole video you know how I felt about the characters 🤷🏽♀️
@@callmeaftercoffee sorry sis I haven't read the book yet, I just heard of it and watched vlogs and author interviews so I didn't finish the whole vid since you warned about the spoilers, I don't want to be spoiled 🤗💖
Well feel free to come back when you finish 😂🙈. I did not enjoy but it's well loved
Wow a book that talks about the real horrible stuff that happen to people, how dare the author do this