its funny how many people think teaching men how to be better men is sexist, even though they acknowledge that bad men are the problem. men who are respectful, honorable, virtuous, self reliant, kind and loyal is what Mr. Mckay is advocating for. which basically solves a myriad of our societal issues.
Those people are just delusional biased women. Or they're men who have gone too far and now have no idea of what it's like to be a man. It is time.. Meninism will rise
For me it's just the notion that there is a problem because women are doing well. In this video it felt like there was this implied idea that "We can't let women get ahead of us." Or this idea that 30 years of trying to make the sexes equal is a long time. As though we'd already tried everything! But social change takes a long time. And there's a big part of what he's saying that I agree with. Looking at the stats for male suicide and violence and imprisonment, it feels like an epidemic. I've heard a lot of people talk about it that way. It feels like there's a group of men who really want to make life better for their gender. I think that is awesome. That can only help, if it is done honestly.
the issue is not women doing well because honestly they are faring as poorly as men these days... the huge divorce rate constant stress obsession with material possessions and inability to live outside of social media is endemic to both sexes. the failure of the male role has not produced a better world or happier one since the rotten bits of the old are just replaced with equally rotten ones today
the issue is not women doing well because honestly they are faring as poorly as men these days... the huge divorce rate constant stress obsession with material possessions and inability to live outside of social media is endemic to both sexes. the failure of the male role has not produced a better world or happier one since the rotten bits of the old are just replaced with equally rotten ones today
Biologically, women and man are different. Some of the goals of a man (arguably) are to find a couple, make friends, build a family. The majority want to succeed at it. But women have their own view of an attractive man. And many men are struggling with matching with a woman. We can call it sexism but this is how relationships are working. Women may have similar issues but those issues are never the same. Because men are also searching for a woman by certain criteria. A school isn't teaching us how to be more successful in those areas. Brett McKay is helping only to one part of society. And, most likely, it's a brilliant start.
Thing is, I am 16 years old and I am reading all of the AoM articles on what it means to be a man. That example that Brett used of kids playing video games and surfing the web all day and just benefiting off of my parents entire life of hard work, I am that exact stereotype! At the time of me typing this, I cannot motivate myself on my own to do any form of paperwork, not just homework. Even something simple like reading a book on my own is incredibly difficult. Not because the words are too difficult or the book is to deep in the metaphoric sense, but because I have no drive, no ambition, no reason to say "I will do this today" and have my words carry weight. When I say "I wanna do something" or "I'm gonna do this", I never do anything to make it happen. Hell, I don't even make it past Step 1. This is a very serious problem! But it doesn't stop there. I am well aware of the harshness of today's world. But what am I doing to benefit me in the long run? What am I doing to prepare? NOTHING!!! I AM IDLE! I AM A YOUNG CHILD OF NOTHINGNESS! PATHETICALLY SUCKING ON THE TIT THAT IS MY PARENT'S LIVELY-HOOD! Enough is enough. I can't and I WON'T just sit here idly by and not take charge. I hope that the AoM will lead a youth like me into the right direction and push me out of the nest. In fact, at my high school, they have an after school club called the "Art of Manliness" That is actually how I found Brett and Kate's website. I just hope they don't get rid of it next year...
+MrHothead099 Glad to see you noticed it bruv, good job taking the initial steps of your journey. I'm in my mid-twenties and have learned somethings that I want to pass down to you if you are willing to hear them...
Well friend, you are going through the initial phase of transforming and freeing yourself, which consists of gaining self-awareness and becoming uncomfortable with your current circumstances. It´s a process everyone has to go through. On this note, I´d say that comparing yourself to better examples can be a great motivator, but at some point you must start looking more at yourself and what are the most meaningful and useful first few steps you can take that will improve your results and your self-pride. In other words, you will design your own identity with your own values and then, from such a place of authenticity, actually create a fulfilling, inspiring and impactful life. Good luck and good luck ;)
MrHothead099, howzit man! I'm guessing you're prob experiencing intense body/mind development at your age. Brain only finishes growing around age 25!! Still plenty of time for that to settle and your 'drive' to kick in xx
I think that what you lack is the understanding of the rewards that you could get if you put up your body and your mind to work. See... Being more masculine is about developing yourself to a level where you are READY to face anything that the life throws at you, as the speaker of this video has told that 'Virtu' is what a manly man possesses. My simple advice to you, is that you study not what others hold as masculine, but to devote 12 months of serious study of the world as it was and is - This includes studying History, Politics, Classic literature and one spiritualistic martial art( Jeet Kune Do and Karate are both great), this study phase is necessary because only after serious and sincere study, you will be able to form your own opinion about the world and only then you can figure out YOUR OWN WAY to add something meaningful to the society ...this way you will also feel more connected to the current affairs in your town, city, country and the world at large. Don't be a second hand copy of some stereotypical masculine man ... become an Original. Best wishes for your journey ahead.
dude, it sounds like you're clinically depressed. You, or anyone in a similar situation, would seriously benefit from psychotherapy. Not necessarily antidepressants, but therapeutic conversation. I also think some sort of friend group with similar goals would help.
I love the message McKay brings out and all of his content. A few months ago I was one of the kids who sat around and played video games, devoid of real success and, frankly, I didn't care. Then I needed to go to a wedding, and I didn't know how to tie a tie so I looked it up. I found Brett and now my life is on track and I'm very glad that I'm not the only one who wants to become a better human being, in the form of a man. Thank you, McKay for reintroducing to humanity the Art of Manliness
A common misconception is that to be a man, you have to think that women are bad, or not as worthy as men. But the truth of the matter is, the type of manliness he is talking about is just being a good person. It just so happens that its called manliness.
Isn't that what feminism has asked of men? The speaker says that the last 30+ years of feminism hasn't helped men find a way to be masculine yet that seems to not be the case.
+Mustafa Kulle There is no "being a man". Just do what you want. If someone tells you that you are not man enough or something, he is trying to manipulate you, so just give him a finger or ignore him. There are actually no rules for being anything as existence itself is quite pointless and it doesnt matter what you do long term so just do whatever you like.
I think another reason that men are becoming less manly is also because we are becoming more of an escapist society. We are completely content to spend all of our time on social media, playing video games, watching reality TV, fapping off to porn, etc. rather than going out and doing REAL things and living in actual REALITY. Rather than improving our own lives, many of us are happy to live in a fantasy world which only exists on the internet or in own minds. The reason we are so content to do these unreal things is because it activates the reward circuitry in our brains, causes a release of dopamine, and makes us feel fulfilled when the reality is we have fulfilled nothing and done nothing. In previous decades before the advent of the internet, video games, etc. if one wanted to feel rewarded, they actually had to go out and do REAL things and accomplish REAL goals. Unfortunately, what we think is progress today might actually be digression. Not everything from the present is better than what we had in the past. Modern day masculinity, if we can even call it that, is certainly not better than what existed years ago.
Zachary Wheeler That's why hitting the gym is so important nowadays. The endorphin release from exercising can not be replicated in virtual reality. Your body has to actually move and strain for you to get it.
I suppose there are more guys playing games than girls. I'm a girl I have this problem I live in a fantasy world to avoid reality. I don't like my mother
So, not even 20 seconds into the video, the host says "men, you are obselete." and the immeadiate response was women laughing. This is the problem with feminism.after that, everything said was simply awesome, enlightening and thought-provoking. I for one will be picking up that metaphorical spear.
+Screw You Google Oh, I understand it was a joke. And I did chuckle. I thought it would be nice to point out the double standard that men have to deal with if they were to start a speech off with, "women are obsolete."
+Everyone is Ignorant - To varying degrees I took the little joke to be a reference to female oppression and the abuses dished out to them over the centuries (there are still several countries where it's ok to kill women for the slightest of indiscretions - real or made up).. A bit of a call out to women who are threatened by so much aggressive behavior that this talk was not going to be an anti-women talk.
I disagree. If women are, "under represented in government," that would be a direct result of the quantity of women entering the political world of government (believe it or not; not all women want this - I am a man, and I do not want this) - which is a choice of their own - which is also a result of their, "80 year," struggle for equality to make their own choices about their own lives, as well as to contribute their voice and ideals to the public domain. By saying that it has a different connotation proves that their fight was never about equality, but about becoming more powerful than men. And to say, or think such - is sexist in - and of - itself.
People who are complaining about his statement on feminism don't seem to be looking into the deeper parts of Manliness. As women become more and more independent, young men and males striving for manliness no longer feel compelled, or even think it's inappropriate to hold a door, pull a chair, offer a chair, stand up whenever a woman leaves or approaches a table, offer his jacket; all the things that used to be considered common courtesy are now viewed as chauvinism or sexism. If men applied all of these courtesies to all people, it's no longer viewed as gender-focused, and instead it returns to the beautiful state of common courtesy.
Awesome, great message. I strive to become a better man, first, through the wisdom of God, and then, second, through the wisdom of great men. Thank you, Brett McKay, for what you do.
Good delivery and even better content. It's no wonder that his website has done so well, it really is desperately needed for millions (if not billions) of men around the world today.
A large part of being a man is having the balls to care about something bigger than one's self, being outspoken & active in the pursuit of your greater goals. That being said, it's about time our government grants it's people a REDRESS OF GRIEVANCES & enacts change to that end or in failing to do so are treated as the tyrants they are.
something I didn't hear mentioned is the lack of men truly being fathers and passing these time honored traditions and lessons down to their sons. Most of the men I know don't have a father figure that was either present or had the idea that this generation will be missing out on something they need. It's the reason most young men want to be taken cared of instead of take care of a family.
Gaurab Chatterjee I did watch the video carefully and am not trying to throw anything at anyone. I very much agree with what you said about mothers who deliberately make it hard for a good father to do his part for his children. What I am referring to are those fathers who are in the picture with/separated from the mother and have support from her to be in their life. There is such a thing as just being lazy and expecting the boys to figure it out for themselves. I have seen boys who have a father figure in their life, taught how to play sports, etc but leave out important things like how to dress for special occasions or an interview. The kid is a mess and the dad can impress. It's just lazy. That is all.
***** Thanks so much for your honest insight on Fatherhood... it is very telling to take this information when discerning what is happening with modern American society. I have come across some other research that suggests that the "50's Male" that could be defined as a Man that sacrifices his own "comfort, time, energy" in order to bring up a family is quickly becoming extinct. It would appear that this no longer a role that is needed or respected or valued. The State has increasingly stepped in to perform this role by Taxing everyone to become "daddy to all." It appears now that Men have to viable options left. The Type One Man is really just a very feminine man with little masculinity left in him, he is not aggressive, principled, or very prone to rock the boat, or stand up for what he believes in. The Type Two man is the THUG. This Man fully embraces all of his masculine tendencies and has little respect for any Rules, Laws, Traditions, Morality, and merely "takes" what he wants and destroys anyone that stands in his way. To me this is the Scariest thing about not valuing some of the more traditional views of masculinity. Surely there are points where this traditional model is to be found lacking and can be improved upon... but instead we are prone as a Society to Scrap the whole notion all together which i think is inherently dangerous... Would you respectfully agree or disagree???
I totally agree we need better fatherhood figures. It's important to have good leaders for young boys to follow. However, you should go back and listen to the presentation. Brett does mention this in there and if you have ever been on his website, you will see that this is a huge part of what he talks about.
Awesome talk Brett. Can't believe I've only just found this. The advantage of the internet is it hooks people up with great mentors. I didn't have access to strong male role models as a kid. I've learned so much about guys from blogs, etc. Made a huge positive difference to my life. Men will never be obsolete.
There are people out there that need to accept that men have to be men and women need to be women. Men and women should be treated as equals, however we are not equal in the sense that we are 'identical' because we're not. And whether you believe in God or not, life is set up in such a way that there is only one real way to go about it, and these 'new ways of thinking' prove time-and-time again to not work, while the old-fashioned way still does. There's nothing sexist about a man being a man, it's a man's duty.
Great speech about man hood , this is a great observation and I do agree with him on most of his points. We shouldn't let these modern bad habits and misguided direction of what it is to be a man affect us.
Higher divorce rates and the resulting single parent households with children have had a greater impact than most people realize. It's an established fact that both boys and girls derive great psychological benefit from parenting by both a mother and father, and their development is somewhat diminished when either parent is permanently absent. Rail all you want about these moldy old customs and institutions - every person needs some sort of validation in life, both from the same sex and the opposite sex. The sexes are different, and their dominant sex hormones greatly influence the way they think and approach the world. Should men and women be taught to not pay too much attention to their hormonal urges? Yes. And there should be a give and take dialog between men and women. There is enough space in the world that men and women can both look good without continually trying to make the other sex look bad. In a marriage, you should have give and take, learn to have calm discussions about your feelings, and attempt to work out your conflicts. The problem is, this takes a lot of work. Will it be worth it if you both work diligently to create a life together? Yes. There are no formulas. You can't listen to the popular media for their one-size-fits-all approach : it's pure pap. You are a UNIQUE person. You have to figure out what works for you, and what makes you happy. You must ask yourselves, "Where do I get my ideas about self-fulfillment from" - if it's from the popular media and pop culture, you are in serious trouble of becoming a sheep. If you cultivate an awareness of your own personality attributes and what makes you happy, a healthy self image can eventually result. It cannot and should not result from listening to radio, television, and film (RTF) programming. This program will self-execute. Men should not be brought up to think of themselves as an endangered, near-extinct species, and little more than sperm donors. We all need everyday relevance, every man and woman - in the world at large. And so, the social pendulum swings. The question is, do you swing with it? Or do you remain true to yourself? Do you even know who you are? Are you trying to learn who you are? It's not about anti-women, or anti-men, or anti-anything else. It's about self-fulfillment, and making a difference in the world to people you know and love. If you want a same sex relationship, you have every right to self-fulfillment, and I am not arguing against this. On the other hand, don't tell me my lifestyle is outmoded... after all, it may be my child the doctor who saves you, your loved one's, or your child's life one day.
Y'know I find it interesting that he mentions Hugh Hefner and "extended adolescence" and all that. I'll be honest, when I WAS in my adolescence, I believed it was morally right to go out and find the right girl, and settle down with her. But then the girls wanted to be promiscuous and have fun...now that I'm older, I have since realized I want to have fun and live my life. After my last relationship I realized how much sacrifice I have to make for so little reward...I want a family eventually, but for now, I've got my own life to live.
TrackSpider If you want to call MRA and MGTOW that, then yes. Personally I'd choose other words to describe them and the gentleman above, but that would be flamebaiting.
No-Stalgia Goggles That's a tumblr thing, I'm not a little child who needs a warning before anything that might upset me. I'm simply stating that you've proven that your movement is wrong.
Brett, you are so right when you say, "...we have this very rich heritage and tradition of masculinity that we can use." It goes all the way back to the beginning of humanity when God made man and woman different and complementary. And the problems we see with manhood didn't just start with a feminist movement in the last century; they started back with Adam when he ate the fruit and then tried to shift the blame onto his wife, Eve. So Brett, we can all agree that true manliness needs restoring. Can you tell us more about what that actually looks like, how virtue plays out in real life, and give us a model to follow?
3:50 there are many reasons for why men are opting out of marriage but the most important is the fact that most kids come from homes that experience separation/divorce, most kids end up living with one parent and receive visitation from the other parent (predominantly men), family courts are hugely biased against men in the U.S. and Canada. You grow up in that environment you quickly learn that marriage isn't fun, it's filled with arguments, parents that don't love each other and treat each other poorly and when kids live mainly with their mother, a boy experiences an unintended (or maybe intended) education that being a man, a father, a husband is not as good as being a wife, mother, a woman. In that type of environment why would you ever want to grow up, of course you would want to remain a kid, look at what the future holds in store for you as a man - get married, work hard, pay bills, get treated badly by your wife, experience divorce, pay child support/alimony out of your ass, lose most of your financial assets, become disenfranchised from your children and get treated mainly as a financial resource and live a poor life. So why would anyone want to pursue post secondary education and a good paying job if your wife is going to divorce you when she gets bored, take most of your money and your children away and lives a better life while you get to suffer. No one bats an eye that the suicide rate among divorced men in this situation is extremely high, no one cares about men anymore so if you're boy and you experience all of this, why would you want to grow up? Why wouldn't you just work for yourself and use your money to satisfy your own needs? Why have a family if your wife can take it all away from you? Let women get university degrees and higher paying jobs than men, pretty soon what you will have is women pursuing men for marriage, men that don't make a lot of money, you will probably see a large increase in stay at home dads in the future and divorce will still continue but men will then slowly start to sue for child support, alimony and pursue primary custody of the children and only when this adversely affects women as much as it affects men, will the family court system be revised and laws changed to prevent one parent from taking advantage of another parent regardless of gender but this will only get fixed when this starts affecting women the way it does man - because as it is right now, no one cares how this negatively impacts men, this will only become an issue when it impacts women. We don't need courses in "manliness", you need to equal parental participation which means you need to allow men an equal opportunity to raise kids, there is a huge benefit to children that have their fathers in their lives and for all the haters that think men don't want to be in their children's lives, you're idiots if you believe that - you've created this reality which alienates men, fathers, husbands and wonder o' wonders you're all surprised when men don't want to get married.
You can't turn gender roles into a science. Everyone is totally different. Treat people with respect who treat you with respect, and don't overthink it. Everyone can do their own thing and be happy doing it, regardless of gender. If you meet someone you are attracted to, great. People are all different, and are attracted to different qualities. Let's just embrace that instead of trying to assign labels to everything.
Agreed. These roles were in place for a reason, when times were more practical and we had to work very hard to have a meal. I do respect these roles, as if we have a major blackout, we will see many tamed modern Men turn into savages in a heartbeat. However, we live in a great time for exploration, where we can really challenge ourselves in so many ways, and spend lots of time outside our usual boxes, even if we may connect with our genders box for the most part
In all fairness, TED only allows you so much time depending on your subject matter, and much of the proposed solutions and tips he offers are available on his site.
A discussion critical to insuring the future of the United States of America. At a time when men are swallowing the red pill to rediscover the true nature of their masculinity, it becomes even more important. So many men are looking for direction. I highly recommend Wild At Heart by John Eldredge and Mansfield’s Book of Manliness by Stephen Mansfield. I’m currently reading Brett McKay’s Manvotions and working on making my own contributions.
You know, i've listened to Art of Manliness for years and not until I see the first 3 seconds of this video did I realize that Brett is very obviously LDS. He could be on a poster.
My mum spent more time with me than my dad after they separated so I didn't manage to get the father to son education of masculine rolls that I should've got as a man so I've had to learn all by myself to learn the masculine rolls I need and want to learn on behalf of my manliness
Brett, I love your talk! Yes please, we - the world - need more Men. I was listening to you and I was thinking, what pattern leads to divorce? lol Well, I was married trice, but that's not the point. The point is what women, independent, cultivated, educated and self confident needs a "man" who perceives his masculinity as the capacity of jumping as many women as possible? - Not me for sure! But that's the paradigm! Take it from a woman who knows what she wants... Partnership and loyalty, please! lol
Anonymous Alex well when you consider those men are falling behind women due to systematic oppression in the name of female progress it's not hard to see why some men are annoyed by "Progress"
Ginzington Schnizer It's simply a matter of any individual eventually defining themselves and finding motivation within themselves to work hard on an education or discovering a trade that they become interested in. In my life no one and nothing told me 'girls go to school, receive a higher education and become independent. and you boys figure it out for yourselves.' In school no one taught me the importance of education and how showed the specifics of how it applied to the work force. Education systems need to have a class that actually explains and broadens students knowledge of how each subject will be used in modern life and the thousands of career possibilities. It took me about 3 years after high school to finally discover the many possibilities of what life had to offer, now I've been eager to take as many college classes as possible to catch up and graduate asap. 5 classes per semester and summer classes as well.
Ginzington Schnizer Thank you, you as well! And all I'm really saying is that the blame game will lead us nowhere, each individual has to figure life out for themselves and even work towards improving the education systems in the world. Also, having an degree doesn't count for much, every student needs to have *internships* to have prior work experience, spread the word.
As a regular "Art of Manliness" reader I have huge respect for Brett McKay, but I must admit that some of his verdicts lack proof and evidence (graphs, statistical data, references to articles). I'm not saying he's wrong, just pointing out that this talk has room for improvement in terms of academic quality.
Being still and rooted, will make you more confidant! Doesn't walking around the stage make you seem weak? If someone else said that I'm sorry, but life is too short!
+Åńdrêw Çøłïn I read Brett's book. It gives a great guide of basic skills and rules every man should know. Not everything has to be through role models. You can achieve anything you want to under your own power. The book is called The Art of Manliness. Worth getting.
ParakeetFilms My mom didn't re-mary, but I felt nothing for the people she dated- I didn't really care. The consequences of my fathers death were obvious, but only to me, I grew out of it though- and became something I didn't think was possible without a father.
No, you're confusing equality with sameness. Men and women are and should be considered equals. But we are not the same. Problem in this society is they're trying to make us the same.
One thing i noticed in a lot of these videos is they are trying to get men to marry again. Sad reality is until marrying becomes serious again and not a way to take everything from a guy after divorce men are going to opt out. people that want to blame video games or any other such things just want to deal with the collateral damage and not the root cause. there is a great reason people resort to escapism.
Grown men idolizing cartoon characters as role models rather than real people. Men unable to forgive those human mentor figures who show humanity and make mistakes. Cartoons don't make mistakes. Cartoons don't let you down.
Lack of manhood in today's society is a serious problem. Yes, indeed.. Transition from boyhood to manhood is difficult, I know.. but it is just like any other difficulties you face in life.. it's part of life.. it's not easy to win a game of super bowl, nba finals, become a president of some organization, and so on..you gotta put work into it, you've got to practice it, learn it, and master it.. and likewise with manhood.. it's a long journey and hard work to become a MAN..
stop pacing about! the blog is excellent, good work. i think this is true not only for america, most men i see daily look like they don't know what they're doing.
To the negative commenters, most of you are coming across as sensitive and immature. It is true that you can choose to behave as you wish as long as you are willing to deal with the consequences. Why lash out at someone offering a different perspective?
"A couple hundred years ago, people believed in dragons and monsters. But now we've got another monster, and it's called the Economy. And if you read the Wall Street Journal, they treat the market and the economy as if they are a thing. Wait a minute now, the market is not some natural force of nature, we created the damn thing! And I believe the heart of the problem now is the separation of humanity from the natural world, and the sense that the economy is the most important thing in our lives." - Dr. David Suzuki
I'm a feminist and I support him. A real man wouldn't yell out, "nice tits" on the street or physically abuse a woman who rejects his advances. I want to see that kind of manliness revived. Not necessarily chivalry, just respect. It seems like, many years ago before there were equal rights and before women worked outside the home, men had more respect for women. But now that women have more rights and freedoms, men respect women less. Men may work for and respect a female boss, but are vulgar toward the women at the local bar. Why is this? Why can't we work together as equals in terms of power and capability, but still respect each other?
Wow - a polite, strong, educated, wise gentlemen - I'm gonna go out on a limb here, but I'm guessing 99% of women would be welcoming such a man over a "dude"..
Tyko Brian not everything but it is the biological goal of every organism , there is nothing wrong with seeking out a spouse , it is wrong however when it reaches a level of disrespect , when all ur life centers around your sexual fantasies that is also wrong
Brett looks and sounds and is probably the same height as Tom Cruise he‘d be a great stunt double. All jokes aside I‘ve been a follower of artofmanliness since my early 20‘s so glad I did it positively changed my life.
@@ericadler9680 true this, but she has to watch it too, to not be a woman servant, because he naturally will think he can do better and get bored Back in the day, we were all too busy to even worry about this ISH 😆
@@ronizielinski4048 Men and women are different and have different emotional needs. Most women want self-confidence and integrity in a man, but men rarely look for self-confidence and integrity in a woman, but more for things like beauty and solidarity/kindness.
I really like the content on Brett's website, but while I'm a man, I don't feel like it matters if I'm perceived as manly. I think that what he teaches about "manliness" is a bunch of virtues and skills associated to men, but it's something that women could use just as well. It's basically means to become a good, independent person. Sure, maybe you girls don't need to learn how to trim a moustache. But maybe you could take some advice about leadership or dicipline even if it's intended for men. And for the boys, the site also teaches about stuff like mending your clothes and cooking. Needing a woman to do kitchen and laundry work for you is NOT manly! Frankly, I think we should raise women to be a little bit manlier, encourage them to get shit under their nails or play drums or something. If I ever get a daugther I don't want to raise her to spend an hour every morning putting on make up and spending her money on clothes that she'll barely wear. She can still be feminine if she choose to, but she isn't going to be a whimp. We should also teach men the virtues and skills associated with women. Learning a little about empathy never hurt anyone. And men trying too hard to prove that they're men is pretty pathetic, that just show insecurity, which is something I don't at least relate to masculinity. I by no means know all of these skills, nor am I independant. But I'm working on it at least.
Maniceureka Has Your comment about a man wanting to be perceived as more manly. Well I kind a look at that as a what if a person wants to be a good person so you’re telling me that they shouldn’t continue to strive to be a better person? So you’re telling me if you brush your teeth one time that you should stop brushing your teeth?
It hits boys the hardest not to have a dad present? Really? He provides reasons why, but they are really insufficient in looking at it from the other perspective. I feel that it would be accurate to say that it affects both genders equally, but in different areas.
its funny how many people think teaching men how to be better men is sexist, even though they acknowledge that bad men are the problem. men who are respectful, honorable, virtuous, self reliant, kind and loyal is what Mr. Mckay is advocating for. which basically solves a myriad of our societal issues.
Those people are just delusional biased women. Or they're men who have gone too far and now have no idea of what it's like to be a man. It is time.. Meninism will rise
For me it's just the notion that there is a problem because women are doing well. In this video it felt like there was this implied idea that "We can't let women get ahead of us." Or this idea that 30 years of trying to make the sexes equal is a long time. As though we'd already tried everything! But social change takes a long time. And there's a big part of what he's saying that I agree with. Looking at the stats for male suicide and violence and imprisonment, it feels like an epidemic. I've heard a lot of people talk about it that way. It feels like there's a group of men who really want to make life better for their gender. I think that is awesome. That can only help, if it is done honestly.
the issue is not women doing well because honestly they are faring as poorly as men these days... the huge divorce rate constant stress obsession with material possessions and inability to live outside of social media is endemic to both sexes. the failure of the male role has not produced a better world or happier one since the rotten bits of the old are just replaced with equally rotten ones today
the issue is not women doing well because honestly they are faring as poorly as men these days... the huge divorce rate constant stress obsession with material possessions and inability to live outside of social media is endemic to both sexes. the failure of the male role has not produced a better world or happier one since the rotten bits of the old are just replaced with equally rotten ones today
Biologically, women and man are different. Some of the goals of a man (arguably) are to find a couple, make friends, build a family. The majority want to succeed at it. But women have their own view of an attractive man. And many men are struggling with matching with a woman. We can call it sexism but this is how relationships are working. Women may have similar issues but those issues are never the same. Because men are also searching for a woman by certain criteria. A school isn't teaching us how to be more successful in those areas. Brett McKay is helping only to one part of society. And, most likely, it's a brilliant start.
Thing is, I am 16 years old and I am reading all of the AoM articles on what it means to be a man. That example that Brett used of kids playing video games and surfing the web all day and just benefiting off of my parents entire life of hard work, I am that exact stereotype! At the time of me typing this, I cannot motivate myself on my own to do any form of paperwork, not just homework. Even something simple like reading a book on my own is incredibly difficult. Not because the words are too difficult or the book is to deep in the metaphoric sense, but because I have no drive, no ambition, no reason to say "I will do this today" and have my words carry weight. When I say "I wanna do something" or "I'm gonna do this", I never do anything to make it happen. Hell, I don't even make it past Step 1.
This is a very serious problem! But it doesn't stop there. I am well aware of the harshness of today's world. But what am I doing to benefit me in the long run? What am I doing to prepare? NOTHING!!! I AM IDLE! I AM A YOUNG CHILD OF NOTHINGNESS! PATHETICALLY SUCKING ON THE TIT THAT IS MY PARENT'S LIVELY-HOOD!
Enough is enough. I can't and I WON'T just sit here idly by and not take charge. I hope that the AoM will lead a youth like me into the right direction and push me out of the nest. In fact, at my high school, they have an after school club called the "Art of Manliness" That is actually how I found Brett and Kate's website. I just hope they don't get rid of it next year...
+MrHothead099 Glad to see you noticed it bruv, good job taking the initial steps of your journey. I'm in my mid-twenties and have learned somethings that I want to pass down to you if you are willing to hear them...
Well friend, you are going through the initial phase of transforming and freeing yourself, which consists of gaining self-awareness and becoming uncomfortable with your current circumstances. It´s a process everyone has to go through. On this note, I´d say that comparing yourself to better examples can be a great motivator, but at some point you must start looking more at yourself and what are the most meaningful and useful first few steps you can take that will improve your results and your self-pride. In other words, you will design your own identity with your own values and then, from such a place of authenticity, actually create a fulfilling, inspiring and impactful life.
Good luck and good luck ;)
MrHothead099, howzit man! I'm guessing you're prob experiencing intense body/mind development at your age. Brain only finishes growing around age 25!! Still plenty of time for that to settle and your 'drive' to kick in xx
I think that what you lack is the understanding of the rewards that you could get if you put up your body and your mind to work.
See... Being more masculine is about developing yourself to a level where you are READY to face anything that the life throws at you, as the speaker of this video has told that 'Virtu' is what a manly man possesses.
My simple advice to you, is that you study not what others hold as masculine, but to devote 12 months of serious study of the world as it was and is - This includes studying History, Politics, Classic literature and one spiritualistic martial art( Jeet Kune Do and Karate are both great), this study phase is necessary because only after serious and sincere study, you will be able to form your own opinion about the world and only then you can figure out YOUR OWN WAY to add something meaningful to the society ...this way you will also feel more connected to the current affairs in your town, city, country and the world at large.
Don't be a second hand copy of some stereotypical masculine man ... become an Original.
Best wishes for your journey ahead.
dude, it sounds like you're clinically depressed. You, or anyone in a similar situation, would seriously benefit from psychotherapy. Not necessarily antidepressants, but therapeutic conversation. I also think some sort of friend group with similar goals would help.
I love how he mentioned that both sexes need to thrive in our society not one over the other.
I love the message McKay brings out and all of his content. A few months ago I was one of the kids who sat around and played video games, devoid of real success and, frankly, I didn't care. Then I needed to go to a wedding, and I didn't know how to tie a tie so I looked it up. I found Brett and now my life is on track and I'm very glad that I'm not the only one who wants to become a better human being, in the form of a man. Thank you, McKay for reintroducing to humanity the Art of Manliness
"a better human being, in the form of a man" that's a really nice way of putting it :)
Brett, I can't watch this video. I've scrolled down so I can listen to it. But watching you without your epic 'stache is just painful.
+The Abominable Snowman thats what's different with him lol
Watching this two years later and I feel exactly the same. It hurts.
A common misconception is that to be a man, you have to think that women are bad, or not as worthy as men.
But the truth of the matter is, the type of manliness he is talking about is just being a good person. It just so happens that its called manliness.
+The Dipshits Guide A good male person, to avoid misunderstandings, if I understand you correctly. Women can be good persons without being manly.
Isn't that what feminism has asked of men? The speaker says that the last 30+ years of feminism hasn't helped men find a way to be masculine yet that seems to not be the case.
@@downsjmmyjones101 No, feminism hasn't asked of men that :)
Step 1. Stop giving a fuck what women want or think.
Step 2. ...
Step 3. Profit.
kzif
I enjoy this so much. Please continue to make a fool out of yourself
Leon It's all in the wrist.
kzif
Yeah, I see
This goes without saying. The other comments are more interesting.
To this day, I am still wondering what being a man is all about. I thought I was alone, but more and more young men, including myself seem to be lost.
+Mustafa Kulle Watch Kingsmen. That'll grasp the concept :)
+Mustafa Kulle There is no "being a man". Just do what you want. If someone tells you that you are not man enough or something, he is trying to manipulate you, so just give him a finger or ignore him. There are actually no rules for being anything as existence itself is quite pointless and it doesnt matter what you do long term so just do whatever you like.
read the stories of Alexander, The Achaemenids, the Mongols and the 1950s greasers. That's what a man is.
It's about whatever you choose, buddy. :)
are you still lost brother?
I think another reason that men are becoming less manly is also because we are becoming more of an escapist society. We are completely content to spend all of our time on social media, playing video games, watching reality TV, fapping off to porn, etc. rather than going out and doing REAL things and living in actual REALITY. Rather than improving our own lives, many of us are happy to live in a fantasy world which only exists on the internet or in own minds.
The reason we are so content to do these unreal things is because it activates the reward circuitry in our brains, causes a release of dopamine, and makes us feel fulfilled when the reality is we have fulfilled nothing and done nothing. In previous decades before the advent of the internet, video games, etc. if one wanted to feel rewarded, they actually had to go out and do REAL things and accomplish REAL goals.
Unfortunately, what we think is progress today might actually be digression. Not everything from the present is better than what we had in the past. Modern day masculinity, if we can even call it that, is certainly not better than what existed years ago.
Zachary Wheeler That's why hitting the gym is so important nowadays. The endorphin release from exercising can not be replicated in virtual reality. Your body has to actually move and strain for you to get it.
Agree 100%. You good sir know exactly what you're talking about
I suppose there are more guys playing games than girls. I'm a girl I have this problem I live in a fantasy world to avoid reality. I don't like my mother
So, not even 20 seconds into the video, the host says "men, you are obselete." and the immeadiate response was women laughing. This is the problem with feminism.after that, everything said was simply awesome, enlightening and thought-provoking. I for one will be picking up that metaphorical spear.
+Everyone is Ignorant - To varying degrees it was a joke, relax
+Screw You Google Oh, I understand it was a joke. And I did chuckle. I thought it would be nice to point out the double standard that men have to deal with if they were to start a speech off with, "women are obsolete."
+Everyone is Ignorant - To varying degrees I took the little joke to be a reference to female oppression and the abuses dished out to them over the centuries (there are still several countries where it's ok to kill women for the slightest of indiscretions - real or made up).. A bit of a call out to women who are threatened by so much aggressive behavior that this talk was not going to be an anti-women talk.
I disagree.
If women are, "under represented in government," that would be a direct result of the quantity of women entering the political world of government (believe it or not; not all women want this - I am a man, and I do not want this) - which is a choice of their own - which is also a result of their, "80 year," struggle for equality to make their own choices about their own lives, as well as to contribute their voice and ideals to the public domain.
By saying that it has a different connotation proves that their fight was never about equality, but about becoming more powerful than men. And to say, or think such - is sexist in - and of - itself.
People who are complaining about his statement on feminism don't seem to be looking into the deeper parts of Manliness. As women become more and more independent, young men and males striving for manliness no longer feel compelled, or even think it's inappropriate to hold a door, pull a chair, offer a chair, stand up whenever a woman leaves or approaches a table, offer his jacket; all the things that used to be considered common courtesy are now viewed as chauvinism or sexism. If men applied all of these courtesies to all people, it's no longer viewed as gender-focused, and instead it returns to the beautiful state of common courtesy.
Awesome, great message. I strive to become a better man, first, through the wisdom of God, and then, second, through the wisdom of great men. Thank you, Brett McKay, for what you do.
So true.
One of the best ted talks ever. Still prominent today.
Good delivery and even better content. It's no wonder that his website has done so well, it really is desperately needed for millions (if not billions) of men around the world today.
Step 1. Walk to center of city/town/village
Step 2. Look around.
Step 3. Point at something a woman built.
A large part of being a man is having the balls to care about something bigger than one's self, being outspoken & active in the pursuit of your greater goals.
That being said, it's about time our government grants it's people a REDRESS OF GRIEVANCES & enacts change to that end or in failing to do so are treated as the tyrants they are.
This guy really is anything but sexist and it's hilarious how people try to give him that label.
How is he sexist?
Did you finish reading my comment or just see the word sexist?
Oh no, I agree with you. I, too, am confused as to how this could be considered sexist.
JP Sheehan Its a feminist tagline, they are an attack group being used to suppress masculinity.
lordmasterization no.... you are just an idiot. Especially if you think anyone can suppress your 'masculinity.'
something I didn't hear mentioned is the lack of men truly being fathers and passing these time honored traditions and lessons down to their sons. Most of the men I know don't have a father figure that was either present or had the idea that this generation will be missing out on something they need. It's the reason most young men want to be taken cared of instead of take care of a family.
Gaurab Chatterjee I did watch the video carefully and am not trying to throw anything at anyone.
I very much agree with what you said about mothers who deliberately make it hard for a good father to do his part for his children. What I am referring to are those fathers who are in the picture with/separated from the mother and have support from her to be in their life. There is such a thing as just being lazy and expecting the boys to figure it out for themselves. I have seen boys who have a father figure in their life, taught how to play sports, etc but leave out important things like how to dress for special occasions or an interview. The kid is a mess and the dad can impress. It's just lazy. That is all.
*****
Thanks so much for your honest insight on Fatherhood... it is very telling to take this information when discerning what is happening with modern American society. I have come across some other research that suggests that the "50's Male" that could be defined as a Man that sacrifices his own "comfort, time, energy" in order to bring up a family is quickly becoming extinct. It would appear that this no longer a role that is needed or respected or valued. The State has increasingly stepped in to perform this role by Taxing everyone to become "daddy to all." It appears now that Men have to viable options left. The Type One Man is really just a very feminine man with little masculinity left in him, he is not aggressive, principled, or very prone to rock the boat, or stand up for what he believes in. The Type Two man is the THUG. This Man fully embraces all of his masculine tendencies and has little respect for any Rules, Laws, Traditions, Morality, and merely "takes" what he wants and destroys anyone that stands in his way.
To me this is the Scariest thing about not valuing some of the more traditional views of masculinity. Surely there are points where this traditional model is to be found lacking and can be improved upon... but instead we are prone as a Society to Scrap the whole notion all together which i think is inherently dangerous...
Would you respectfully agree or disagree???
I totally agree we need better fatherhood figures. It's important to have good leaders for young boys to follow. However, you should go back and listen to the presentation. Brett does mention this in there and if you have ever been on his website, you will see that this is a huge part of what he talks about.
Where's his 'stache???
this was four years ago.. just a little youngin back then
What a badass
Awesome talk Brett. Can't believe I've only just found this. The advantage of the internet is it hooks people up with great mentors. I didn't have access to strong male role models as a kid. I've learned so much about guys from blogs, etc. Made a huge positive difference to my life. Men will never be obsolete.
There are people out there that need to accept that men have to be men and women need to be women. Men and women should be treated as equals, however we are not equal in the sense that we are 'identical' because we're not. And whether you believe in God or not, life is set up in such a way that there is only one real way to go about it, and these 'new ways of thinking' prove time-and-time again to not work, while the old-fashioned way still does. There's nothing sexist about a man being a man, it's a man's duty.
10 years ago, still extremely relevant
Great speech about man hood , this is a great observation and I do agree with him on most of his points. We shouldn't let these modern bad habits and misguided direction of what it is to be a man affect us.
Best Ted Talk ever.
I think it's interesting what he said about basic masculine life skills not being passed on by the father. I see something similar with women too.
Yes, each generation has less and less skills
Thank you for this talk. I needed it. These are words I've been struggling to put together myself. Well said.
Thank you
Great talk! I totally agree with you. Although plenty of people don't understand what being a man really is and so will probably hate on this video.
Amen brother, one love
Higher divorce rates and the resulting single parent households with children have had a greater impact than most people realize. It's an established fact that both boys and girls derive great psychological benefit from parenting by both a mother and father, and their development is somewhat diminished when either parent is permanently absent. Rail all you want about these moldy old customs and institutions - every person needs some sort of validation in life, both from the same sex and the opposite sex. The sexes are different, and their dominant sex hormones greatly influence the way they think and approach the world. Should men and women be taught to not pay too much attention to their hormonal urges? Yes. And there should be a give and take dialog between men and women. There is enough space in the world that men and women can both look good without continually trying to make the other sex look bad. In a marriage, you should have give and take, learn to have calm discussions about your feelings, and attempt to work out your conflicts. The problem is, this takes a lot of work. Will it be worth it if you both work diligently to create a life together? Yes. There are no formulas. You can't listen to the popular media for their one-size-fits-all approach : it's pure pap. You are a UNIQUE person. You have to figure out what works for you, and what makes you happy. You must ask yourselves, "Where do I get my ideas about self-fulfillment from" - if it's from the popular media and pop culture, you are in serious trouble of becoming a sheep. If you cultivate an awareness of your own personality attributes and what makes you happy, a healthy self image can eventually result. It cannot and should not result from listening to radio, television, and film (RTF) programming. This program will self-execute. Men should not be brought up to think of themselves as an endangered, near-extinct species, and little more than sperm donors. We all need everyday relevance, every man and woman - in the world at large. And so, the social pendulum swings. The question is, do you swing with it? Or do you remain true to yourself? Do you even know who you are? Are you trying to learn who you are? It's not about anti-women, or anti-men, or anti-anything else. It's about self-fulfillment, and making a difference in the world to people you know and love. If you want a same sex relationship, you have every right to self-fulfillment, and I am not arguing against this. On the other hand, don't tell me my lifestyle is outmoded... after all, it may be my child the doctor who saves you, your loved one's, or your child's life one day.
Y'know I find it interesting that he mentions Hugh Hefner and "extended adolescence" and all that. I'll be honest, when I WAS in my adolescence, I believed it was morally right to go out and find the right girl, and settle down with her. But then the girls wanted to be promiscuous and have fun...now that I'm older, I have since realized I want to have fun and live my life. After my last relationship I realized how much sacrifice I have to make for so little reward...I want a family eventually, but for now, I've got my own life to live.
Honestly the few times I hear the 'men are struggling' and 'masculinity is on its way out' is from guys like him.
So nice friendly good hearted family oriented people?
TrackSpider If you want to call MRA and MGTOW that, then yes.
Personally I'd choose other words to describe them and the gentleman above, but that would be flamebaiting.
No-Stalgia Goggles Oh OK, so you've obviously just proven that feminists believe in misandry and are hypocrites. Good job!
TrackSpider Sorry, did I trigger you?
No-Stalgia Goggles That's a tumblr thing, I'm not a little child who needs a warning before anything that might upset me. I'm simply stating that you've proven that your movement is wrong.
Brett, you are so right when you say, "...we have this very rich heritage and tradition of masculinity that we can use." It goes all the way back to the beginning of humanity when God made man and woman different and complementary. And the problems we see with manhood didn't just start with a feminist movement in the last century; they started back with Adam when he ate the fruit and then tried to shift the blame onto his wife, Eve. So Brett, we can all agree that true manliness needs restoring. Can you tell us more about what that actually looks like, how virtue plays out in real life, and give us a model to follow?
I love how he referenced our founding fathers concerning over consumption
Thank you Brett Mckay
3:50 there are many reasons for why men are opting out of marriage but the most important is the fact that most kids come from homes that experience separation/divorce, most kids end up living with one parent and receive visitation from the other parent (predominantly men), family courts are hugely biased against men in the U.S. and Canada. You grow up in that environment you quickly learn that marriage isn't fun, it's filled with arguments, parents that don't love each other and treat each other poorly and when kids live mainly with their mother, a boy experiences an unintended (or maybe intended) education that being a man, a father, a husband is not as good as being a wife, mother, a woman.
In that type of environment why would you ever want to grow up, of course you would want to remain a kid, look at what the future holds in store for you as a man - get married, work hard, pay bills, get treated badly by your wife, experience divorce, pay child support/alimony out of your ass, lose most of your financial assets, become disenfranchised from your children and get treated mainly as a financial resource and live a poor life. So why would anyone want to pursue post secondary education and a good paying job if your wife is going to divorce you when she gets bored, take most of your money and your children away and lives a better life while you get to suffer.
No one bats an eye that the suicide rate among divorced men in this situation is extremely high, no one cares about men anymore so if you're boy and you experience all of this, why would you want to grow up? Why wouldn't you just work for yourself and use your money to satisfy your own needs? Why have a family if your wife can take it all away from you?
Let women get university degrees and higher paying jobs than men, pretty soon what you will have is women pursuing men for marriage, men that don't make a lot of money, you will probably see a large increase in stay at home dads in the future and divorce will still continue but men will then slowly start to sue for child support, alimony and pursue primary custody of the children and only when this adversely affects women as much as it affects men, will the family court system be revised and laws changed to prevent one parent from taking advantage of another parent regardless of gender but this will only get fixed when this starts affecting women the way it does man - because as it is right now, no one cares how this negatively impacts men, this will only become an issue when it impacts women.
We don't need courses in "manliness", you need to equal parental participation which means you need to allow men an equal opportunity to raise kids, there is a huge benefit to children that have their fathers in their lives and for all the haters that think men don't want to be in their children's lives, you're idiots if you believe that - you've created this reality which alienates men, fathers, husbands and wonder o' wonders you're all surprised when men don't want to get married.
I can't think of anything that trains you to be a more well rounded person than family life.
I wish there were more men like Brett out there.
Sounds like it was spoken for today!
You can't turn gender roles into a science. Everyone is totally different. Treat people with respect who treat you with respect, and don't overthink it. Everyone can do their own thing and be happy doing it, regardless of gender. If you meet someone you are attracted to, great. People are all different, and are attracted to different qualities. Let's just embrace that instead of trying to assign labels to everything.
Agreed. These roles were in place for a reason, when times were more practical and we had to work very hard to have a meal. I do respect these roles, as if we have a major blackout, we will see many tamed modern Men turn into savages in a heartbeat.
However, we live in a great time for exploration, where we can really challenge ourselves in so many ways, and spend lots of time outside our usual boxes, even if we may connect with our genders box for the most part
This talk should be required in every highschool in America.
Good points about the loss of maturity, but minus for not actually having any solutions to those lost jobs, and lost roles, and lost fathers.
In all fairness, TED only allows you so much time depending on your subject matter, and much of the proposed solutions and tips he offers are available on his site.
Of the TED talks on the topic he's unique in not making his point in time.
A discussion critical to insuring the future of the United States of America. At a time when men are swallowing the red pill to rediscover the true nature of their masculinity, it becomes even more important. So many men are looking for direction.
I highly recommend Wild At Heart by John Eldredge and Mansfield’s Book of Manliness by Stephen Mansfield. I’m currently reading Brett McKay’s Manvotions and working on making my own contributions.
Brett, you have my support! I love this.
Excellent speech
You know, i've listened to Art of Manliness for years and not until I see the first 3 seconds of this video did I realize that Brett is very obviously LDS. He could be on a poster.
My mum spent more time with me than my dad after they separated so I didn't manage to get the father to son education of masculine rolls that I should've got as a man so I've had to learn all by myself to learn the masculine rolls I need and want to learn on behalf of my manliness
Incredibly well said
Gotta agree with him, men need push themselves too. A true men sports women and walks with them but does not fall behind
VERY well said. thanks for speaking my mind for me
he is too good n nice for himself !!
Seeing Brett without his moustache is making me uncomfortable lol. Great ted talk by the way
Brett, I love your talk! Yes please, we - the world - need more Men.
I was listening to you and I was thinking, what pattern leads to divorce? lol
Well, I was married trice, but that's not the point. The point is what women, independent, cultivated, educated and self confident needs a "man" who perceives his masculinity as the capacity of jumping as many women as possible?
- Not me for sure!
But that's the paradigm!
Take it from a woman who knows what she wants... Partnership and loyalty, please!
lol
In the first part he got me
Great video. Good to see a positive role model for men to look up to
sexist,racism and homophobia are not masculine problems.
He's just trying to appeal the feminists in the crowd who were about to start bitching
Anonymous Alex well when you consider those men are falling behind women due to systematic oppression in the name of female progress it's not hard to see why some men are annoyed by "Progress"
Ginzington Schnizer It's simply a matter of any individual eventually defining themselves and finding motivation within themselves to work hard on an education or discovering a trade that they become interested in. In my life no one and nothing told me 'girls go to school, receive a higher education and become independent. and you boys figure it out for yourselves.' In school no one taught me the importance of education and how showed the specifics of how it applied to the work force. Education systems need to have a class that actually explains and broadens students knowledge of how each subject will be used in modern life and the thousands of career possibilities. It took me about 3 years after high school to finally discover the many possibilities of what life had to offer, now I've been eager to take as many college classes as possible to catch up and graduate asap. 5 classes per semester and summer classes as well.
Anonymous Alex good luck with your college classes! Hope you end with a degree that leads you to many years of happiness.
Ginzington Schnizer Thank you, you as well! And all I'm really saying is that the blame game will lead us nowhere, each individual has to figure life out for themselves and even work towards improving the education systems in the world. Also, having an degree doesn't count for much, every student needs to have *internships* to have prior work experience, spread the word.
As a regular "Art of Manliness" reader I have huge respect for Brett McKay, but I must admit that some of his verdicts lack proof and evidence (graphs, statistical data, references to articles). I'm not saying he's wrong, just pointing out that this talk has room for improvement in terms of academic quality.
Luxury and wealth make you passive and weak - how true.
It's a shame we can't add transcript to this video and translate it. This message needs to be heard by all young men.
Being still and rooted, will make you more confidant! Doesn't walking around the stage make you seem weak? If someone else said that I'm sorry, but life is too short!
For some people they learn by movement.
He makes some excellent points, but I don't like how in the beginning it seemed like he attributed success to a person's marital status.
My father passed away when I was 4! How was I supposed to develop a strong sense of manhood? Brett?
you are a man.
Abh19021 :1 thanks, I try to live up to role models- I grew up with horrible father figures and women... So I try.
+Åńdrêw Çøłïn I read Brett's book. It gives a great guide of basic skills and rules every man should know. Not everything has to be through role models. You can achieve anything you want to under your own power. The book is called The Art of Manliness. Worth getting.
Like me and turning to your uncle for it. Unless your mom remarries... Mine didn't.
ParakeetFilms My mom didn't re-mary, but I felt nothing for the people she dated- I didn't really care. The consequences of my fathers death were obvious, but only to me, I grew out of it though- and became something I didn't think was possible without a father.
This guy is my idol, he doesn't believe in equality but equity.
No, you're confusing equality with sameness. Men and women are and should be considered equals. But we are not the same. Problem in this society is they're trying to make us the same.
Right on target with it. Great site and online community as well.
One thing i noticed in a lot of these videos is they are trying to get men to marry again. Sad reality is until marrying becomes serious again and not a way to take everything from a guy after divorce men are going to opt out. people that want to blame video games or any other such things just want to deal with the collateral damage and not the root cause. there is a great reason people resort to escapism.
Grown men idolizing cartoon characters as role models rather than real people. Men unable to forgive those human mentor figures who show humanity and make mistakes. Cartoons don't make mistakes. Cartoons don't let you down.
Hmmm!
Lack of manhood in today's society is a serious problem. Yes, indeed.. Transition from boyhood to manhood is difficult, I know.. but it is just like any other difficulties you face in life.. it's part of life.. it's not easy to win a game of super bowl, nba finals, become a president of some organization, and so on..you gotta put work into it, you've got to practice it, learn it, and master it.. and likewise with manhood.. it's a long journey and hard work to become a MAN..
stop pacing about! the blog is excellent, good work. i think this is true not only for america, most men i see daily look like they don't know what they're doing.
To the negative commenters, most of you are coming across as sensitive and immature. It is true that you can choose to behave as you wish as long as you are willing to deal with the consequences. Why lash out at someone offering a different perspective?
I took a lot from this. 💯
I'm willing to bet that if I shared this just the title alone I would catch heat for it from today's society
Wild at Heart is helpful and aligns with this talk well.
He did not have time to this. He did what he could in twelve minutes.
While I do agree with Brett, I would like to hear his advice on how to proceed; how does a society get started over?
Problem is, a lot of men who say "be a man" don't seem to appreciate soft women. They tend to go for vicious women.
This vid showed up when i searched "Reviving the Lost Art of Walking Back and Forth every 3 Steps While Giving a Speech".
Loool
+Nelson Simon genius comment
"A couple hundred years ago, people believed in dragons and monsters. But now we've got another monster, and it's called the Economy. And if you read the Wall Street Journal, they treat the market and the economy as if they are a thing. Wait a minute now, the market is not some natural force of nature, we created the damn thing! And I believe the heart of the problem now is the separation of humanity from the natural world, and the sense that the economy is the most important thing in our lives." - Dr. David Suzuki
Manliness == Authority.
the whole world now
Brett Mckay, pre=mustache Love this guy.
I'm a feminist and I support him. A real man wouldn't yell out, "nice tits" on the street or physically abuse a woman who rejects his advances. I want to see that kind of manliness revived. Not necessarily chivalry, just respect. It seems like, many years ago before there were equal rights and before women worked outside the home, men had more respect for women. But now that women have more rights and freedoms, men respect women less. Men may work for and respect a female boss, but are vulgar toward the women at the local bar. Why is this? Why can't we work together as equals in terms of power and capability, but still respect each other?
+Samantha Fritts well, since you're a woman.. you have no say in what a "real man" is.
Ryan K Fair enough
Wow - a polite, strong, educated, wise gentlemen - I'm gonna go out on a limb here, but I'm guessing 99% of women would be welcoming such a man over a "dude"..
+Brad M (BradMx) is everything about winning a woman to you people?
Brad M, thanks for your classy comment and yes I would :)
Tyko Brian not everything but it is the biological goal of every organism , there is nothing wrong with seeking out a spouse , it is wrong however when it reaches a level of disrespect , when all ur life centers around your sexual fantasies that is also wrong
Love Brett. He looks like Peter Brady here.
Bruce Wayne?
I love that guy!
Well said!
Women will do better once men do better. Period.
Brett looks and sounds and is probably the same height as Tom Cruise he‘d be a great stunt double. All jokes aside I‘ve been a follower of artofmanliness since my early 20‘s so glad I did it positively changed my life.
It's because college is a risk nowadays.
Amazing
He sure likes the phrase 'vim and vigor'.
Too bad about all of the feedback during the presentation. I love Brett's stuff but as a live sound engineer this is hard to listen too..
Funny how after 11 years, we are still talking about the same things.
Brett looks weird without the 'stache.
i was thinking the same thing
Nice suit Brett
he talks and walks as if he's holding a pipe but he has none.
A conception of manliness as being a gentleman turns men into servants of women.
That can be very true. It is difficult to do the man/woman dance without someone turning into a doormat. Solution?
@@ronizielinski4048 Self-confidence and integrity, most women prefer that to a manservant, who quickly becomes a bore.
@@ericadler9680 true this, but she has to watch it too, to not be a woman servant, because he naturally will think he can do better and get bored
Back in the day, we were all too busy to even worry about this ISH 😆
@@ronizielinski4048 Men and women are different and have different emotional needs. Most women want self-confidence and integrity in a man, but men rarely look for self-confidence and integrity in a woman, but more for things like beauty and solidarity/kindness.
@@ericadler9680 I hope you have an amazing weekend. You seem pleasant 😊
I really like the content on Brett's website, but while I'm a man, I don't feel like it matters if I'm perceived as manly.
I think that what he teaches about "manliness" is a bunch of virtues and skills associated to men, but it's something that women could use just as well. It's basically means to become a good, independent person.
Sure, maybe you girls don't need to learn how to trim a moustache. But maybe you could take some advice about leadership or dicipline even if it's intended for men.
And for the boys, the site also teaches about stuff like mending your clothes and cooking.
Needing a woman to do kitchen and laundry work for you is NOT manly!
Frankly, I think we should raise women to be a little bit manlier, encourage them to get shit under their nails or play drums or something.
If I ever get a daugther I don't want to raise her to spend an hour every morning putting on make up and spending her money on clothes that she'll barely wear.
She can still be feminine if she choose to, but she isn't going to be a whimp.
We should also teach men the virtues and skills associated with women. Learning a little about empathy never hurt anyone.
And men trying too hard to prove that they're men is pretty pathetic, that just show insecurity, which is something I don't at least relate to masculinity.
I by no means know all of these skills, nor am I independant. But I'm working on it at least.
Maniceureka Has Your comment about a man wanting to be perceived as more manly. Well I kind a look at that as a what if a person wants to be a good person so you’re telling me that they shouldn’t continue to strive to be a better person? So you’re telling me if you brush your teeth one time that you should stop brushing your teeth?
It hits boys the hardest not to have a dad present? Really? He provides reasons why, but they are really insufficient in looking at it from the other perspective. I feel that it would be accurate to say that it affects both genders equally, but in different areas.
There really are good studies out there to back this up, though obviously those studies have to define success each in their own way.
This guy sounds like Brett McKay but without a mustache