Microsoft Windows Surface 'Charger' Won't Work (Surface Adapter Troubleshooting and Quick Tips)

00:00:00-Full version with anecdotal and general troubleshooting information
00:04:02-Short Version
00:05:52-Shorter Version
00:06:52-Spark Notes Version
Surface will not charge
Surface will not turn on
Surface will not power on
Surface will not boot up
How to fix Microsoft Surface 'Charger' Problems
How to fix Microsoft Surface Charging Problems
Surface 'Charger' will not power on
Surface Adapter not working
Surface Adapter will not work
Surface 'Charger' will not work
Why Surface 'Charger' is not working
Surface battery not charging
Surface battery will not charge

[@SonicWilliamX]

Impressive.

[@AdAstra747]

Thank you, kind sir!