HOW TO WRITE BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS ROMANCE (that feels realistic)
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 9. 04. 2019
- YOU GUYS ASKED FOR IT: how to write an ACTUALLY REALISTIC best-friends-to-lovers romance!! In this video we go over the KEY components to writing an adorable and believable story that gracefully brings two characters from the platonic world of friendship to the romantic world of total cuteness.
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Yesssss. This is gold. My fantasy trilogy has a major romance subplot and over the 3 books they are going from enemies to friends to lovers because I can't get enough angst and slow burn đ.
So glad you liked this video!! thank you! đâš and oooh I love slow burn romance subplots đ
How's it going?
You publish yet? Where can we buy it @dellieborton
GIVE ME THE HAPPILY EVER AFTER! (But there must be a lot of heartbreak somewhere in the middle, haha.)
SAME đ
Same, lol
Notes
âąLet the awkwardness and weird feelings sit. The charestars should be like "oh this is weird."
âąKnow before hand if the charectars love is mutule.
âąBases How did they meet, how did the friendzone happen, was it intetional or not. Why did it happen.
âąSetup When does the one charectar realise they have feelings for the other
âąThe aha moment
Your protagonist has to realise they have feelings for there bestfriemd
âąConflict
The protagonist Torn between there safety and expressing feelings
âąDecistions As much as your charecters font want to make a choice they have to and they do.
Resolution
Love is expressed amd either the protagonsit is excepted or rejected
Even as an 11 year old and being very young, I have had the desire to write a book and your video has really helped me in this because your explanation is very straight-foreward and clear. So, your video and your language at speaking during your video has guided me a lot.
Thanks!â€
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH ITS MY TROPE!!! YEEESSSSSS!!!!
Love this so much. My favorite, favorite, FAVORITE trope is definitely best friends to lovers because it's ADORABLE!!! And to already know someone so well without having to have that really awkward stage in dating... *sighs* Anyway, love this video!
EEEEE THANK YOU IVIE I'm so happy you liked this video!! đđ I agree 1000% it's just too cute acslkjdasj
I always like cute, wholesome romance better. One of my favorite tropes that not a lot of authors do is when there is a love triangle and one or more of the characters is not conscious of it. Two of the characters are meant to be together, and the third character involved in the romance is a close friend to those two characters. When the third character finally realizes what's going on, they get excited that their two best friends are in love and they actually try to do some matchmaking. Instead of being a sore loser about being stuck in a love triangle, they become endearing through their mature behavior. Mutual friends playing matchmaker is both hilarious and adorable, and while it may be a little Hallmark-y, I love it.
You just won my heart at âI know I could talk about Laurie and Amy but... I donât want toâ
but Laurie and Amy are made for each other lmao
@@sarahgirl9150 omg girl youâre gonna kill me đ„”đ€Ą I could never get over jolaurie. I cried my ass off when Laurie and Amy got together and honestly no one can change my mind about resenting Louisa for doing this only to prove a point or over rage idk
@@LorenaAMachado lmao alright we all have different opinions
Same
I would have been fine with Jo/Laurie not happening (heartbroken, but I'd understand) IF Jo hadn't wound up with that old man at the end for no reason. Laurie and Amy on the other hand... idk I read the whole book and it just Did Not Click for me. The Greta movie was better on that front and showed how Louisa May Alcott didn't want Jo to end up with the German man, but was pressured by publishers bc they couldn't have the main heroine not end in a relationship. Jo being a lesbian makes 100000% more sense imo
Yes, yes, embrace the awkwardness!
My favorite friends to Lovers is Anne Shirley and Gilbert because Anne refuses Gilbertâs attempts to be more than just friends but then they still get together in the end đ„°
I'm cool with both, heartbreak and happily ever after, as long as it's well-written and makes *me* feel more unreal than the story.
I agree, both can be such powerful directions to take with a story!!
As a romantic fiction author I've enjoyed each of these videos that delves into the development of a warm and fuzzy relationship. So, yeah, warm and fuzzy, Hallmark-esque style ending for me, thank you very much! I also (unabashedly) admit that many a Hallmark and Lifetime movie has sparked that flame of inspiration, along with your videos, of course ;)
SAME HERE! I love happy endings where at least the good guys live happily ever after đ
Oof
Iâm here because Iâm actually living an unrequited love plot IRL and it suuucks. Sheâs had a few âbest friendsâ do the same thing and break her heart in the end, so it adds a layer of complexity to confessing.
Some days I wish I could lay my head in her lap and just talk while she plays with my hair, and our friendship is so intimate already that itâs on the very verge of that. Weâll fall asleep in the same bed watching movies all night and it makes me want to die inside.
Sometimes Iâll bring up how I feel and I can see it upsets her so I back down and say that weâll talk about it later, but we never do.
The last time we went through the cycle she said she couldnât be what I want her to be, but I just want her to be herself. I want her to be exactly who and what she is. I just wish she looked at me the same as the guys she tells me about.
Is that selfish of me? I honestly hate myself.
oof lol
any development?
WHAT HAPPENED
That is an oof if I've ever seen it. I hope things went okay
Bruh⊠what happened now???
Hi Abbie! I'm 16 and an aspiring writer. I've been writing stories since the first grade, but I stopped when I started High School because although my friends and teachers told me I was very talented, they didn't think it would be a good career. Which I agreed with because of the fact that I could fail and then have no money. But recently I discovered your channel a few days ago and you are such an inspiration! I didn't think that writing and watching videos about how to write could make me so happy but it does. Especially since I'm going through a lot right now and writing is my escape. Thank you so much for making these videos and making everything so easy to understand. I am so glad I found your channel cause I finally have that overwhelming excitement when I think about writing that I haven't felt in years.
You made me want to write againâ€
My current plan for my book series is that protag saves his best friend at the end of book one and, at the start of book two, they both start noticing the shift between best friend to love interest.
Ah yes... Amy and Laurie. Honestly it could have worked but I think itâs missing that foundation aspect that we get in the beginning with him and Jo.
completely agree. I couldn't buy it
Have you watched the Greta Gerwig movie? It cuts back and forth between past and present and it kinda looks like Laurie is courting Amy and Jo at the same time. It works for me
HOW DID YOU KNOW WE WANTED THIS? THIS WAS AN UNEXPECTEDLY PLEASANT SURPRISE
YOU ARE WELCOME MY DEAR đ
I love how this trop actually happened to me (friends for 10 years and dating for 4 months and counting) yet I still need to find help on how to write it. Thank you for all the great tips!
I was too late finding this video. My current WIP centres around this same trope. I was scrolling down CZcams for a how-to-write best friends-to-lovers trope when I told myself "Wait, Abbie might have it!" I found this and it helped me so much! Thank you!
what about: A boy realizes he loves his best friend (He learns this through a traumatic horror plot they go through together.)
In the first half or so, the friend doesn't think they feel the same way, but towards the later half of the story they realize that its mutual. They then fight through the horror plot, and its a whole thing about letting go of the people who don't help, and taking in the people that do help.
Dos this sound like a good romance plot? If not, what recommendations do you people have?
Edit: This whole romance plot has already changed a lot so nvm. It is better structured now
Is it sad that Iâm watching this video to create a friends to lovers storyline where male friend leaves his bestfriend, who heâs clearly in love in for his girlfriend. Because the girlfriend represents the security and stability that he wants. And He doesnât see the best friend he left until her funeral.
Its really das but Sound so good. Pls i need to be updated about the book
You lose something with every romance. My sister used to not like Laurie and Amy because she related to Joe, but now she sees only Amy couldâve made him the man he needed to be. Joe babied him too much and couldnât see where he needed correction. It mirrors real life, when you donât get what you thought you always wanted but looking back you see why. It makes me think of Carrie Underwoodâs âGood in goodbye.â
I am writing something where the protagonists were childhood friends and in the first act, they confess to each other because one of them is going off to college and they're going to be separated for longer than they have since they were toddlers. They end up separated due to a plane crash and the female MC goes looking for her love interest because the actual apocalypse happens and no one is looking for him. It's a really reflective story, mostly focusing on why the MC fell in love with her friend and a little bit of the hurts they caused each other because she lives with regret for not confessing sooner.
Anyway, I hope I do well. Your videos really help so much and get me excited about writing and reading.
I wanted to hear more about the relationship part.. after they become a couple.. u started off by saying it's awkward but I wanted to hear more about that
Am introducing a backstory of friends to lovers ...to enemies (after breakup) to friends again
really love this series! thank you for pointing out the beats, extremely helpful!
I love this†đ and yes the moment of awkwardness is so cute. I like it best when itâs mutual, but also sometimes itâs a good story when itâs one sided if they werenât meant for each other
The fuzzy feels âșïžđâ€ïž
My protagonist is gonna have hate-to-love romance while her two best-friends are in the best-friends-to-lovers trope. Can I even do it? Don't know. But, it doesn't keep me from daydreaming.
Yesss this is super helpful! My fantasy book (series?) is going to have two couples, one of which is best friends to lovers while the other is enemies to best friends to lovers. This is going to make it so much easier.
Planning this for my current novel series. So... thank youđ€
Ok Iâm excited for this! I have an idea for a cute âŠok yes fanfiction⊠but a cute fluffy teen romance and Iâve never written something so⊠teen friendly ha ha but itâs a best friends to lovers basically. And I need this guidance!
I am in a predicament with my love story for my novel, I have them start out married, then realize it is fake/programmed-life, then actually fall in love from there. I however am not sure how to plot out this arc. Any advice for a love to stranger to love romance arc?
This particular Topic is easier for me to write than any other Because the main story I'm writing is this Topic And I don't have the awkward feeling everyone else has about it
Ugh this helped me immensely!! Thank you soo much!! â€ïž
AGH THIS IS SO HELPFUL! I have a romance like this in my book and it's going to be SO helpful
YAY!! I'm so glad you liked this one, Faith!! đâš
I just want to make a hate to friend to love comic between 2 characters I inspired from a game I love to play- your videos help me so much even if you talk on how to write books, it helps me build the story for my comics :D you're a queen, keep going with your amazing channel
For me I prefer a story of "warm fuzzy happily ever afters" but starting where the protagonist trys overcoming an obstacle or villain to no avail until he and his BF true love acknowledge that romantic love, join forces and together overcome.
Love this video of abbie Emmons đ
Exactly what i need, chef kissđđ I'm currently working on a gl besfriend to lovers story so wish me luck i overcome thisđ
Thank you this helps a lot
my question is to how to write strangers to lovers book, without it being too long?
how about arranged marriage?
New sub!
Firstly, youâre a beaut!
And secondly, I needed this - thank you so much! â€ïžđ
My fave romance... :')
I kind of want you to break down the book Flipped as an example of both of these. đ It would be a great follow-up video.
I WOULD LOVE TO DO THAT HAHA đ
Freakin need every one of your videos in my life đđŒđđŒđđŒ Thank you!
Thank you so much!! đ
OMG TYYYYđđđđ
JO AND LAURIE....đđđ i start crying just thinking about them. my contemporary actly started with 14 yo me yelling at the little women movie "if jo and laurie aren't together, i'm writing a story where MY jo and MY laurie get together. HA." yes i was very upset.
now it's kinda hard to tell i got the inspo from little women but that's still how it started and this vid helped me so much!! its my first romance
Take a shot each time she said "Aha Moment" đđ
But seriously though, I really needed this.
I've been laying in bed for the past 3 hours, trying to find a way for my MC to realize she likes the "Mr.Love Interest who's liked her for the longest time and only found out now that he did"
And as a person who never experienced these things, this video helped me lots
Thanks
In my story, Character A over hears Character B admitting their love for them to Character C. Character B never thought about A romantically, but once they start thinking about it they can't stop.
But now I'm struggling to write the shift where B starts feeling attraction.
It helped me so much thank you
I just wanted to say you're really pretty and seem like an awesome person!
This reminds me of my own friends to lovers journey, or part of it. I had moved and was working in a large city. With the news that my friend was going to move out of state, I quit my job to be/go with him. ... Don't remember why, but he never went. So much for my first real, and good job. :p
Love this! Also, can you do a video on picking a POV with tip on doing 1st person vs 3rd person or present vs past well?
Sarah G Yes that would be so helpful
Oooh that's a great suggestion, thank you! I will definitely make a video on this in the future đ
this helped a lot for my childhood best friends to love triangle to other person is academic rival/enemies to friends to still love triangle to lovers. I think I chose too many tropes.
love đŻ
Yes. I still grieve Laurie and Jo. lol
Gacha peeps need to see this as well as all ur other videos, not hating btw big gacha fan -w-
Yep just me casually falling in love with my best friend
Me: ooooo itâs a good time to write a book about it lol
I have the protagonist meeting the main love interest in book 2 and they initially friend zone each other because they're both introverts who aren't in a good place emotionally to consider dating. I haven't figured out the exact moment that they realize they love each other, yet, but it'll probably be when they're getting close to resolving their initial internal conflicts and becoming capable of having a healthy relationship. Then they'd have a new internal conflict of trying to figure out how to successfully pursue the romance arc without jeopardizing their friendship or undoing the progress they made in resolving their initial internal conflict.
When do you get your PhD because you're absolutely brilliant in all of your videos. I'm serious - I come away having learned so much and feeling incredibly inspired. Thank you for your generosity.
I am currently in the process of writing both a best friends to lovers romance and a love triangle. In my story, the protagonist falls in love with her best friend after so many years, but at the same time, she is also in love with another man. And I have yet to decide how it's going to end.
Could you make a video about simple friends to lovers? You know, a person that the MC doesn't know too long, but they are friends.
Now I want to write a story about friends to lovers because of the aha moment đđ€
Laurie so isnât happy with Amy, him and Jo forever! Also, thanks for the tips, I love this trope and want to see more of it done properly in fiction.
AGREED đ and yay, thank you!!
Warm, fuzzy, happily ever-afters!!!!!!!!!!
But what about a romance where one person has loved the other since...forever? Like the Hunger Games, or other stories I'm not thinking of? How would I write that?
Thanks for your excellent videos!
I have a question about the "aha moment" in regards to how different characters come to their conclusion--could the characters come to their own "aha moment" at different parts of the story? I'm currently writing a fanfiction (I know, stake me) that uses this trope, but one character's "aha moment" came sooner than the other's, but they both eventually got there. Is that possible?
That sounds entirely possible. For example, in Pride and Prejudice, I think Mr. Darcy realizes he loves Elizabeth first, and then Elizabeth realizes she loves him later in the story when she finds out what he did for her sister. Correct me if Iâm wrongđ
It's totally possible because it happens like that in real life. My mom and dad were really good friends before they started dating, and when my dad confessed that he was in love with her, my mom just went "thank you" and smiled awkwardly because she was kinda thrown off and she didn't feel that way about him. Three months later, they were married. So yeah.
@@edenmckinley3472 Awww thatâs so sweet!
@@carosamchwa3081 I didn't realize it was like something from a novel until I shared it here. Man, reality is stranger than fiction.
When Abbie advises that whether the resolution of the romance is mutual or unrequited, it needs to make sense for who the character is that really synchs up with Little Women.
Besides loving Jo, Laurie also loved her family and yearned to be a part of it. So much so that it puts him marrying her sister in a different light than if that were not the case. It makes sense for his character to marry Amy. Itâs still weird. Donât get me wrong; but it tracksâŠ
Side note. I saw Christian Bale in this and became an immediate fan. He played the role so endearingly. He didnât really follow up with similar roles going forward but heâs a wonderful actor and anything he does he does 100%.
Interestingly, he met his real life wife filming this movie. She was Winona Ryderâs assistant.
He went from not believing in marriage to being hooked on his future wife. Twenty something years and two kids later, they look happier than ever. So sweet that it went down that way.
Anyway, I love when Abbie gives us these concrete examples. It makes it so much easier to get a handle on whatever concept sheâs talking about.
So in my book
My male protagonist is in love with his best friend, when he first saw her, they were like five or six at the time and he thought she was really pretty. And they became friends. One failed Valentineâs Day later, where he never got the chance to confess, he decided to try and let the feelings go,
Heâs now sixteen waking up from a romantic dream of him and her and the sparks are back.
Thus far for my poor protagonist. The love is unrequited.
As hard as he tries to get rid of the butterflies in his stomach. He canât.
And He definitely canât tell her for fear of losing her and her friendship
Laurie and Jo DEFINATELY belonged together. But Jo wanted Laurie to stay like a brother forever, and she got it, but right before her aha moment sadly. But the fact that people care SO MUCH about this proves how well-written of a story and friend-to-lover Little Women was.
All my ships.
Can "slow burn" and "friends to lovers" work well together? I'm planning a "Tangled" series spin-off fanfic where the MC has a crush on his female friend from the moment they meet but is in complete denial about it (despite others hinting that he likes her). Also as the friendship grows and when he finally acknowledges his feelings for his female friend, he still hesitates to confess love to her, partly because he feels she's out his league in status and another because he feels her father wouldn't approve of the romantic match. Though may go deep enough that he's afraid of starting a romantic relationship with her, feeling he'll lose her in some way, e.g. whether through breaking up due to a long-distance relationship and/or she could get killed in the final battle with villain. Either way, it takes a long time before he finally confesses his love for his female friend (who may confess first but initially gets rejected).
The female friend develops a strong friendship with the MC, despite a rough start between them. She's secretly aware of her male friend's crush on her but doesn't say anything about it because she's not sure how she feels at first (though family members and friends pick up the spark between them), plus her male friend doesn't push for a relationship so she feels comfortable with him. She does experience moments of attraction to him and their may even be an "almost" big romantic kiss (e.g. "I See the Light" moment in "Tangled" and "La Belle Evangeline" moment from "The Princess and the Frog" and after a big moment of almost losing to death, eventually she realises she's in love with the MC.
Perhaps he turns her down at the time (because the time is too dangerous and because he hasn't overcome his fears yet). They experience a temporary fall out, but eventually rekindled their friendship after a big scary moment of almost losing the other (at this time the male MC is almost ready to confess but there are still other priorities at the time). Eventually though, both the male and female realise that they want to make the relationship work and confess their love even in the midst of trails (e.g. they have to defeat the main antagonist and there's the possiblity of death, and even after this, there's a possiblity that they need to make their long-distance relationship work as the female wants to travel for her own self-discovery and possible career interests and the male has a job to do in his home town).
This is a musiccal fantasy adventure story with comedy and even a small bit of sci-fi thrown in.
Can you make a strangers to lovers tutorial?
You know what's funny? There's a saying that Reality is often stranger than Fiction. With this in mind, just imagine how strange the Best Friend to Lover Romance would be if it was that realistic. It'd be a lot weirder than how they are usually portrayed than Fiction
Here's a question that I really need some help with. I've seen the flashbacks video and know that they need to be meaningful to the character to work. My story is about my character trying to overcome his grief over his girlfriend's death, and it starts with him already having lost her and being broken (my idea for the hook being that we get the impression he lost someone close to him, but his behavior shows that it is incredibly painful for him). I also know that the reader actually seeing how these two were as a couple will make the reader sympathize and want my character to heal even more. So I'm considering telling the story of their romance in flashbacks alongside the present day events, but I'm unsure of how well this could work. Originally, I was only going to use a few flashbacks to highlight key moments in their relationship (when they met, when they fell for each other, and when they admitted their feelings) during only the first act. But now that this video has given me plenty of new ideas about their relationship prior to the beginning of the story, I know I'll probably need to continue those flashbacks across the whole book, but again, I know there are dangers to telling another story with flashbacks alongside the main one, especially because I've experienced some of that trouble reading books that do this, where the story of the flashback is interesting, but the pacing seems weird so it's easy to forget what's happening when you switch stories, or it doesn't seem to have much relevance with what's going on in the main story. So I'm reaching out and wondering how I could make this work.
I have two characters who start as rivals, then become best friends, then become enemies, then become lovers
10th grade with Hudson Sheb sometimes
This is great! But I really want to make the romance part of my story to be really subtle, since the romantic factor it's not the main plot. Any tips?
The word hoot was written on a book behind you and I couldnât t concentrate on the video for this reason Dx
what is the best romance type to start with?
The issue with my story is instead of the traditional 1) best friends 2) one starts liking them 3) now in love
Mine is:
1) meets 2) falls in love with them 3) gets rejected 4) moves on but still becomes B.F
5) Years later, starts liking them again
You are way to beautiful. Its outrageous
I realize that this is an older video, but I hope you are still available for a question. I plan to write a short story and want to do a "friends to lovers" storyline. Are there any adjustment to this troupe that should be made based on a shorter story? Is it actually possible?
I'm really struggling writing a rejection scene (gentle letdown by one of the characters). How can I make this work?
đđ»
I don't write heartbreak, because I have enough of that IRL.
No but-
How do you figure out- What was stopping them from having these feelings until now- tho-?
Like- I'm a newbie writer so I don't really know how that goes-
1998 Object of my affection. Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston, meet and each fall in love in their own way. However Paulâs character is gay. Well written and a good movie example. This happened to me, Side note, I did not get pregnant, but the man I loved was gay.
I have to disagree with you. As cute as Joe and Laurie are, Amy is just better for him. Joe doesnât like him, and thatâs that. She sees him as nothing more than a brother. As for Laurie, heâs just more compatible with Amy. Joe and Laurie are just too similar to be in a healthy romantic relationship. They would drive each other insane. Amy helps Laurie take responsibility, and he helps her lighten up. Joe definitely loved Laurie, but it was always platonic.
I have a story where they were enemies to lovers to enemies where the girl betrayed the guy and his family at the end of the season, but as of rn I have no idea why she betrayed him :')))) But it has to do with her own family (her mom in particular or smth) help please :// :'))
You know that moment when...
You fall in love with your best friend of 10 years who saved your life and gave you a scarf at just 9 years old, then took you home to his parents where you stayed for about a year cuz yours were killed and then his parents get killed so you join the military and dedicate your life to protecting him only for him to say he hates you at the end and try to end the world. So then you have to kill him otherwise the world is gonna be destroyed, then you're extremely heartbroken so you marry a guy he used to call a "horse", have a daughter and have your scarf taken away by a bird? Fun stuff.
I hate how I realized what this was by "scarf"
@@sanfransiscon LMFAO
i just read an article that copied this video basically word for word...
Nah just take good old approach of main man and mai woman and shove them together like a child with dolls.
Definitely warm and fuzzy. But I actually have a question. The romance in my manuscript is friends to romance. But both characters are Aspies. Do you think I would still follow the same structure rules? Itâs kinda hard for me to tell since Iâm an Aspie too.
Bro if this ain't allo bulls
Main characters enemy becomes her wife!
I'll read that :C
See, my story is about confused teenagers who constantly make jokes about being in relationship trope situations.
There's no Aha Moment, just "i like you, but it's unclear whether that romantic or platonic".
And the third main character always makes fun of them for supposedly liking each other, which is just another layer of confusion.
Lol.
iÂŽm writing a best friends to lovers story between 2 girls
for them, the reason why they didnÂŽt realize it was bc they grew up in a homophobic society and didnÂŽt consider a romantic relationship an option
I was browsing comments just to see if this would come up, because itâs exactly the type of romance in my book. Glad to see Iâm not the only one.
@@kevinpeoples8702 cool! I took the idea from gay fanfiction, actuallyđ
The issue with my story is instead of the traditional 1) best friends 2) one starts liking them 3) now in love
Mine is:
1) meets 2) falls in love with them 3) gets rejected 4) moves on but still becomes B.F
5) Years later, starts liking them again