HOW TO WRITE HATE-TO-LOVE ROMANCE (that feels realistic)
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- čas přidán 22. 07. 2024
- Not all romances start with the meant-to-be characters happily getting along. Sometimes they start out wishing death upon each other. This plot device is called “hate to love romance” and it happens to be one of my favorite things under the sun. And in today's video I'm going to show you how to make this dramatic change of heart both realistic and engaging, so that readers won't be able to put your story down.
Comment below and tell me: what are some of YOUR favorite hate-to-love romance stories?
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"Establish the reason behind the hate."
Well one of them tried to kill the other.
That’s my hate to love romance in a nutshell LOOOOOOOL. Literally the first time the two met the girl drop kicked him in the face 😂😂😂 ( she was breaking in his house because someone forced her too )
That's definitely a pretty good reason
Oddly mine is only one sided hate and for a similar reason. She tries to assassinate the King, but ends up failing to assassinate the prince instead which ends in her being spared by him. In doing so, she's forced to become his spymaster while rumors stir up that they're a couple (which also starts a fake dating trope).
It's a mess all the way around but it's also fun to write lol
I love where this is going
He kidnapped her for his bosses that are related to her( that's why they had him kidnap her) and she finds out that he was sorda Manipulative to them.
I feel like Pride and Prejudice is a good demonstration of why the mid-point friendship is necessary. If you skip it, your readers will react much like Lizzie does to Darcy’s first proposal. Because from her perspective, the switch came out of nowhere!
In Pride and Prejudice it worked, though, but I think nowadays not many stories can pull the "lengthy explanation letter" move to solve the situation. '^^ It's better to have the mid-point friendship.
@@cinthiagoch I didn’t really mean the book as a whole, more like… Darcy TRIES to skip the midpoint friendship, and it backfires on him just like it would on an author with their audience. Luckily for Lizzie, Darcy, and us, the book doesn’t end there!
@@Kikakowia Ah, true! That's a cool point, about him trying to skip the midpoint friendship and it backfiring on him!
Okay, but I AM curious what makes Darcy fall for Elizabeth after disliking her so much in the beginning?
@@PichuElricn the book it talks about how he was enjoying watching her and finding her flaws, feeling himself justified in his judgment of her. But... in watching her so much he also started noticing her good points (wittiness and "fine eyes") and he started watching her just to watch her and before he knew it he was hooked. Jane Austen was a gifted writer and managed to make this part very subtle so that you -like Elizabeth- might miss it altogether in your prejudice against Darcy.
Hate to love, villain to love interest, are the best😍
My main characters enemy becomes her wife (she’s gay)
@@scouttheboston3005
Yay.
Agree, something just feels stronger to me, love like that, it's something worked for from both parties, (not saying that love without struggle is less strong, I think it's just different.)
Exactly! 🥰😍
I'm working on making this happen
Yes the middle stage! Sooo important and as soon it's not fleshed out well the relationship really does begin to loose authenticity... which is always so sad cause just like you I gotta love some good hate to love haha!
Yes, exactly Lydia!!
Notes
•Establish reason behind hate or negative judgements. You need a scene that desrcibes the first negative impression.
•Make one of the charectars love the other one secretly
•Slow into the romance, describe the friendship first then move into romance slowly.
•Make the charectars fight there feelings put the charectars in denial give them lots of internal conflict until they eventually come to terms with the fact that they like eachover.
I hate when one of them likes the other one
“Am I feeling an emotion? Ew get it off!” 😂😂😂 I love that so much. It’s so accurate. I went through a hate to love experience in high school and that is 100% what happened to me. We both didn’t have a good first impression of each other and when we started getting along and being friendly with each other, we realized we had a lot of things in common and were essentially the same person, but I was still incredibly stubborn and refused to accept I liked him like that XD
I learned later that he actually liked me from the beginning, he just pretended to dislike me because I actually disliked him 😂
Anyway this was perfectly explained and it helped me so much with my nanowrimo story for this year. You’re my favorite CZcams author and like always, I love your videos so much! ❤
Am I feeling an emotion,
Ewww get it off
Some other tips I managed to find:
The enemies part must be more that 50 pages (wayyyyyy more than that) so the book isn't boring.
It's good to include AT LEAST one st*bbing or attempted m*rder.
THE ONLY TIME the enemies-to-lovers trope can break is when one of them gets hurt and the other one gets super angsty because they're worried.
Also some ideas for scenes that are a bit cliche but I believe they still work:
The two spend a really fun day at a small town where they have a 'break' and are really themselves; that is the moment where they might start catching feelings for each other.
They turn towards each other with sarcastic nicknames like 'love' or 'sweetie'.
They go at a place where there is only one bed.
I hope I helped!
I love your ideas :D
@@baylee8659 Thanks!
Falling utterly in love with each other within the first half of the book, is just a no from me. I love me some angst 😅
@@bunbon6302
A trope like this is made or broken by its buildup.
Great idea, especially with the sarcastic name teasing/joking I might add something like that to my story.
I never interpreted their first meeting in P&P as Darcy hating Lizzie. I read it as *Darcy is an anxious and socially awkward lobster of a man who does not know how to interact with people at parties* *Darcy tries to find an excuse for not dancing (which as an anxious introvert I relate to on a major level)* *Elizabeth overhears the insulting excuse and forms her opinion based on that*
So you have a character who doesn't really loathe the other (Darcy does say a few chapters in that he considers Lizzie to be quite pretty and that his main issue with her is her family). But you have another who is so convinced they do loathe each other and who is such a stubborn focaliser that she interprets any interaction as a further attempt to insult her. This goes on for several meetings etc. and her negative impression of him makes it much easier for her to believe Wickham's story. Her hate grows (in what seems a justifiable way) until he spells his crush out for her (rudely again because awkward anxious lobster).
I do not believe that Darcy ever hates Elizabeth. He finds her frustrating and her family is a huge impediment for his standards, but he doesn't hate her. The best part is that Elizabeth knows he should have a right to hate her after her accusations re:Wickham during his first proposal. She feels like she was a bit too unfair in her phrasing and again she is such a convincing focaliser that we are led to believe her.
Sorry for the essay, I just adore this novel
I actually agree with this interpretation of the novel much more.
It still makes it a hate to love since Lizzie is the MC but yeah
This! Yes! I completely agree. Hate-to-love is my favorite kind of trope and it always pulls me into the story to see what the turning point is going to be. Awesome video as always. Can't wait for the next one!
SAME. And thank you!! I'm so glad you liked this video! :D
- the reason behind the hate. Nobody hates without a reason, a negative judgment a character makes about the other.
- who hates who. Person a hate b (but b loves a )
- Halfway point friendship
- Let your characters resist love.
- A change of heart
YES i'm so glad you covered this because it's one of my favourite things to read but i can never write it! (also your editing is always so amazing WOW)
I'm so glad you found this video helpful and inspiring, Kristen!! 😊💛 thank you so much!
This Video was just what I needed today. I finally decided to wrie the book I have been planning and replanning for years now and it actually features hate-to-love. Your video was the perfect checklist to see if I had forgotten anything and I am happy to announce I didn't.
Thanks a lot for your regular and interesting videos that help people become better writers.
I'm so glad this video came at the right time for you, Kristin!! 💛 that's so awesome that you're writing the book at last! YOU ROCK. thank you for watching and commenting! 😊
I can’t get enough of hate to love romances! They’re the best. 💞
Carry On is one of my all time favorite examples of the trope, with Fullmetal Alchemist being a close second.
YES I LOVE THIS TROPE! I also love best friends to lovers.
OH YES ❤️
Yessssss best friends to lovers, I'm writing one now, actually. He's been in love with her the whole time, but he hides it and she doesn't know or feel the same...yet.
Can I just say- THANKS SO MUCH for talking about classics. I find so many youtuber/writers only talk about YA and rarely use books that we’ve collectively been reading for a couple 100 years. It’s frustrating! I’m so glad when someone recognizes other genres, ages and just a far more varied reader experience! Go team
Yes!!! You are welcome. I love classics and I love to use them as examples because they are clearly good stories that have stood the test of time and gone down in history - there's definitely a lot to learn from them!! :D I'm so glad you like my videos, thank you for watching!
I love the friends to lovers trope because in real life this is what (at least in my family) always brings married couples together. They either grew up together or were friends first before developing a relationship with one another.
“Establish the reason for the hate”
That’s a long one to explain.
In my book they grew up in the same facility. The facility was a testing lab. The lab was for turning humans in to better food. There were originally 20 kids but 10 died. There all tagged with numbers 0-9. All of the. Who are still alive anyways.
The two were best of friends. The were inseparable. She was a year-a couple of months older then him. They all wanted to escape.
At 6 with the help from the outside, she did. Leaving him behind. She said she was going to come back.
1 year. 2 years. 3 years. 4 years. 5 years. 6 yrs later. She never came back. So he needed to escape himself. In the end, he had killed her little brother and she had a abandoned him.
Years later they had met again. The tension was rising.
A while later, they had made up. They both had their own reasons and they excepted that.
This video just made me realize that my new WIP is a hate to love, I've never written it so I'm excited! And now I have to go through my first few chapters to make it more so 😂
Ahh that's so awesome, Danielle!! I'm sure your hate-to-love romance is epic 😍
I haven't seen anyone mention it, so I'll say that another masterful "enemies to lovers" story is Much Ado About Nothing, which isn't just hilarious, but it includes so much backstory that we are never truly shown but it is alluded to so well that it helps create an inordinate amount of tension for Bened*ck and Beatrice.
Needed this because I'm trying to make a childhood friends to enemies to lovers relationship 👁👄👁
Yay, loved this! Pulling out Pride and Prejudice and studying the masters is ALWAYS the way to go! Hehehe. Go Abbie! :D
I agree, Livy!! Thank you so much for watching 💛
As someone writing a series with some hate to love going in, thank you for this video!!
woohoo! I'm so glad this video inspired you! 😊
Anne of Green Gables was a grade school read for me and I can’t believe I forgot all about it.
“Establish the reason behind the hate.”
One of them is a literal demon and the other is a jerk.
I love your way to talk and explain things! I'm not a native English speaker but it's so satisfying listening to you talking that I understand everything ✨
Love your expressions, so funny. I’m doing a hate to love romance in my series, so this really helped. Thanks Abbie!
I'm so glad this video came at the right time for you! 😊💛thanks so much!!
I was searching how to write hate to love better and I’m so happy I found an awesome writer channel, will definetely subscribe and can’t wait for more of your stuff.
Serpent and Dove is one of my favorite more current examples. God, I love Reid. He's just an all around good person, and I so enjoyed seeing him slowly come to terms with the fact that he loved Lou despite her being what he had been raised his entire life to hate. Great video! This is also my absolute favorite type of love story.
Favorite hate to love is 7 Days and 7 Nights. So well done.
Somehow I knew your videos would be grouped nicely. You are the fire for my learning process.
And then you get my idiots: one has a genuine sense of respect for the other while the other despises almost every aspect of the other, then as the series move forward, the second starts to reluctantly like the other but at the latter part of the series the first character finds the character 2 is actually the villain and thus begins to viciously hate them while the other still likes them but they understand that since they are openly the villian now they should maintain a sense of strength and emotionlessness so they slowly remind themself why they hates the other at the beginning and starts disliking character 1 all while character 1 reminds themself why they first respected character 2 thus starting to like the villian again. Yeah 😁, great vid tho, loads of tips I'll be sure to use.
Yooo this sounds intriguing! Good luck! ♥️
@@drillsargenttay3960 Haha thank you
Thanks! I'm currently writing a story which is enemies -> lovers, this is really useful
thank you for reminding me of the importance of the middle phase. i think that was the main part i was struggling with realizing i needed.
ONCE UPON A TIME! It’s got some of the best hate to love ever and most of the romances start with one person holding a knife to the others throat. Definitely a interesting first impression.
Ron and Hermione in the best selling series of all time. I’m not complaining but I’m just surprised these weren’t mentioned. But I loved the upload it was great
You’re such an underrated youtuber, you deserve all the love, sweetie. Loved the video! 💜
Thank you so much, Sally! 💛✨
Marianne and Colonel Brandon in Sense and Sensibility :D Quite possibly my favourite book.
Thanks so much for this!I am writing one and I had no idea where to start.
Thank you! This was really helpful.
FLIPPED IS SO FREAKING GOOD
I've just discovered your channel today and i LOVE IT 💫💫💫
I was addicted to your book 100 days of sunlight because of this
its so amusing reading love to hate romance novels, and the tension is next level smack
Thanks Abbie,you are amazing 😍🌼it helped a lot🤴🏼👸🏻
I LOVE HATE-TO-LOVE!
Loved this!!!
I get so excited when you upload :)
This video was just so much fun! Perfect for a gloomy snowing day; which I am currently dealing with lol. One of my favorite Hate-TO-Loves would have to be Albert and Victoria in Young Victoria. She can not stand the idea of being with him at first, because that is both what her mother and her uncle want, but she needs up being crazy in love with him. I also love Annie of Green Gables and Pride and Prejudice too. Thought I was not a big fan of this trope but in thinking about it; I like it a lot!
Another great video! Keep it up!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this video, thank you!! 💛 OOOH YES THE YOUNG VICTORIA. Such a good film. 😍 that's a perfect example!
I'm working on a Paranormal Romance right now. I'm blessed with having a good witch and a vampire for characters. It helps when you have a great reason they can't be together right from page one, but it also makes turning them from enemies to frenemies to lovers more difficult.
you are my perfect setting for writing
Oh YES YES YES. I’m here for it!
This is my absolute favorite trope, as well. Gosh the banter - THE BANTER. The funny dialogue! I love it so much!
My current WIP is a Enemies to Lovers story.
They meet because the heroines father, who is a professor at a university, becomes the hero’s mentor. She (15) thinks he’s stuck up (and is also jealous that he receives all of her dads attention) He (20) thinks she’s bratty and spoiled because she acts up because of stress between her divorced parents.
Over the years they don’t see each other anymore, but they are both the recipients of “chinese whispers” - her dad talks about the “grand fiascos” of her life with the hero and talks about his “grand achievements” with the heroine. Ohhh I love how they truly and genuinely despise each other.
10 years later they have to work together - and boy is it fun. The dialogue is my favorite part to write for that ♥
In order to finish their project they have to call a truce in which they realize that they indeed are good people. - Much to their dislike. I mean who likes to correct an opinion that was nurtured for literally years?!
Ah! I‘m currently at around 15k Words and I love it. 🎉
OOOH I LOVE THAT. Especially the truce where they have to at last come to terms with the fact that they were wrong about each other! SO GOOD!! 😍 and same - witty banter is literally my favorite thing on earth to write. so much opportunity for comedy it's so great!! ahh. thank you for watching!
I'm 2 years late but never mind, I'm going to write a comment. A lengthy comment.
This video is all I need to finally decide writing a hate-love romance. It's really an interesting trope and it makes me kilig😳
I only know a few enemies-lovers stories, so I'll definitely watch Anne of green Gables & Pride and prejudice after this.
Let me share my favorite hate-love romance movie. Actually, it's an animation. Anastasia... probably one of the reasons why I love this movie is the dialogues (I am willing to recite every lines in this movie if you tell me to.)
I also love the really good chemistry between the main characters of this movie. Oh, will you please make a video about how to make a good chemistry?😀
Pretty please?😀😅
THANK YOU!!
Currently mulling over a subplot involving a hate-to-love/love triangle dynamic. Both guys like the girl, but for different reasons; girl hates both guys for different reasons, but eventually picks the better of the two. Thanks so much for the advice!!!
You’re so pretty 😍
Thank you so much for this!
Romancing the Stone! A must see.
SUPER HELPFUL!
Loved-thanks!
Very easy to follow video, great tips, interesting to watch, so thank you for that. Since I'm interested in romance genre I was wondering which are the best teaching books on writing romance - for you, Abbie? and all of you guys. Any recommendations?
You used my favourite books! What am I saying, You always use my favourite books 😆❤️
Love you, Abbie! Love your asthetic!
Thank you so much!! 😊
Enjoying reading but also wanting to write is so expensive. Just had to put that out there.
Your tips are the best Abbie! Your new book, 100 days of sunlight is amazing. The book will be a great hit. 😍😍😍
OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH 💛✨
@@AbbieEmmons You're amazing. You're my favourite author from the moment 100 Days of sunlight hits the stores.
I’m here because I actually want to subvert the expectation of romance in my story, and I was hoping for tips on what NOT to do. I’m worried about the readers’ expectations, because I even have some typical romance tropes involved (like fake dating) but I DON’T want them to end up together because I feel like you never see close friendships develop without them turning romantic, at least not with the same degree of narrative focus. I’m worried people will just think it’s a slow burn and then be pissed off when it doesn’t happen, and I don’t know how to clue them in along the way. :/
Sorry to reply late (I’m sure you’ve figured it out by now, haha!) but I would just write friends the way that friends are supposed to be written and kinda elude any hint of romance in there? Include the fake dating too, but make sure both characters have their own love interests so that there can’t be any chance between those two - it’ll make them feel a lot more platonic IMO. I think writing them as siblings for a little bit could help as well. That’s the only way I can think of turning that around. I hope I helped in some way. ♥️
If it's not too late :
Try to downplay all the romantic undertones between them and make sure you show that they do not not see each other in that way.
Maybe get inspiration from your own friendships with people of compatible orientations : how do you interact with them? How do you see/think of them compared to a love interest?
Maybe don't follow the romance arc to a T? After all, this isn't a romance.
But honestly, if they like their dynamic some people will ship them regardless so don't worry too much about it. If you make it clear this is not a romance story from the beginning they will have only themselves to blame.
I am from Prince Edward Island so I have to say I love the reference of Anne Shirley! ;) lol (Anne of Green Gables)
OOOOO can you also make a video of how to write and create tension?
My first irl relationship was hate to love. It didn't last, but it did give me a good blue print for this trope.
Great essay 👍
AAAAAAAAA I love it when you upload!!!
Thank you! 💛✨
Luz and Amity are a master class on this.
MY FAVORITE
Best trope EVER
AMEN
thx for the advice
What about characters that start off as friends first? A slow build. How would you sprinkle little Easter eggs so that later on in the book or series, you look back and realize "it" was there from the start?
Flipped is soooooo goooooddd
That just sparked a few sparks in my brains! Thanks gal. I was thinking. . . . Instead of goin' from mutual hate to true love, what if the story goes the other way around? Do ya have any recommendations for that?
That would be really interesting to read! I can’t recall ever reading a story like that, but there’s probably something on the market that has that plot. I imagine it would go something like this: both characters start spending less and less time together. Nothing major, but they just aren’t as close as they used to be. Then BOOM there’s a misunderstanding and things go south from there.
The Legend series by Marie Lue!
Eu te odiava, aos assistir aos primeiros vídeos, mas, agora, te amo.
how do you write successful pickups and failed pickups for romance?
"Establish the reason behind the hate"
Well she threw a candleholder at him at their first meeting, then when he thought she's cute he's told that's actually his sister (but not really).
Yay for the morally questionable angsty paths my characters are gonna go through 😂
Loved this SO much! My question is: what if I have a story narrated in the 1st person with only one POV. How do I clearly show the reason behind the hate of the other character?
@@okas_art have characters around the other character mention things or slide comments, there’s a chance your other character might talk to others about how annoying or horrible the main character is etc! That’s one way!
A thing that i love in books is switched povs between the two main characters, with every chapeter that starts with the character name. Hope that helps🥰
Edit: sorry I only read now the "with one pov" 😅 nevermind
@@sarahs1d or, depending on their personality they could be very blunt and straight up tell it at some point.
Can you do a video that applies the enemies to lovers trope to the 3-act story structure?
I think this might help in my web comic thanks . .
O
okay enemies to lovers is the best trope!
love to hate romance is just the best! look at reylo...its like Beauty and the beast omg.
Hi Abbie, Can you do a screen play with this hate-to-love theme?
Ooh! I also have a video about writing romance, and it uses the example of Snow White and Prince Charming from Once upon a time, who initially hate each other. If you're reading this, hopefully you consider checking it out.
Oh my god! Let me tell you Anne of green gables *chefs kiss*
Great video!! I have a quick question. I am looking to hire a ghost writer. Do you think I will be able to tell the difference between a mediocre writer and a great writer by the intro page??
As a guy, I didn’t realize that this is what I’ve been trying to write!
Is that a Serafina book I see on the shelf with the blue books behind you?
This is so much Casca and Guts, and then when they get together, outside forces rip them apart. Which broke the relasionship for 20 real life years, before it could sail again, and again powers outside kept them apart (The auther died, so yeah )
It’s better when they go from hate to allies to friends to lovers. You can really see it all coming together in that way. And it leaves room for betrayals and set backs to get over in a realistic light.
I really like her content its really clean to look at ( Does that make sense? ) Also does anyone have any hate to love book recommendations that would be good for a young teen?
So glad you enjoy my videos, thank you!!
It's not romance focused (so the trope is downplayed) but there is hate to love in the Percy Jackson and the Olympians book series.
The Cruel Prince. The Wicked King. The Queen of Norhing
Does this also apply to enemies to friends too or is it different in someway?
I also love reading and writing haters to lovers romance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yay Chocolate~
Reylo (Rey and Kylo Ren from Star Wars) is the GREATEST hate to love romance of all time
omg can you recommend a book which has an enemies to lovers to strangers to lovers to enemies trope?
Favorite Hate to love Trope...... would have to be "French Kiss" Kevin kline and Meg Ryan