How This Treatment For Borderline Personality Disorder Improves Empathy
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- čas přidán 2. 06. 2020
- There’s a new study using oxytocin (often called the love hormone) to treat borderline personality disorder. To date we really don’t have a medication treatment for the disorder. I talk about the treatment for BPD when you also have bipolar disorder here: • Can You Have Bipolar D...
The main treatment for borderline personality disorder is dialectical behavior therapy and medication only to address other symptoms like depression or anxiety.
Here is my Personality disorder playlist: • Understanding Personal...
In a nutshell, people with borderline personality struggle in relationships with mistrust, they fear being abandoned by the other person. This can create a lot of anxiety and depressed mood and impulsive, self-harming behaviors.
Some researchers believe that at the core of the disorder is impaired empathy and this is what causes the interpersonal problems.
So here’s what the new research looks like. Researchers out of Germany took a group of women and looked at 3 aspects of empathy: Cognitive, emotional and what they called approach motivation. They showed the women pictures of people expressing different kinds of emotions. Then they asked them to recognize the emotional state. This is cognitive empathy.
The Results
The women with BPD who got the 1 dose oxytocin nasal spray had a rise in their empathy scores that was equal to the women without BPD who didn’t get any treatment.
Their reaction to the people’s faces changed such that they were better able to relate to negative and positive emotions AND they had the feeling of wanting to be close to the people in the pictures.
This is definitely a positive finding. It can set the stage for clinical trials to use the drug as an add-on agent to therapy for BPD. Learning how to manage your emotions, tolerate distress and improve your relationships is still something that needs to be handled with therapy. A drug can’t teach you those things. But this study adds weight to the idea that biologically there’s something missing in people with BPD that makes it hard for you to do these things on your own.
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References
Domes, G., Ower, N., von Dawans, B. et al. Effects of intranasal oxytocin administration on empathy and approach motivation in women with borderline personality disorder: a randomized controlled trial. Transl Psychiatry 9, 328 (2019).
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I don't lack empathy at all. We're just traumatized and we come off that way to protect our hearts through being guarded due to people who have hurt us.
In fact Id say we have too much empathy and forget ourselves. Thanks for speaking up ❤️
@@NataliaDiazJackson Exactly. We're TOO sensitive and empathetic.
Fr I'm overly empathetic unless im mid mental breakdown.
I agree 😊
I agree too❤❤❤❤❤
As someone with BPD I understand why some of the people in the comments are upset, but let me explain what this study really is, because it's not an attack to people with BPD and neither is the video, though it can come off that way.
The study basically is saying people with BPD are better at recognizing negative emotions because 1. It's a coping mechanism to keep us safe because of trauma and 2. Like she said, we are in a negative emotional state quite often. But once they gave the women with BPD oxytocin, they could better recognize positive emotion because they were in a positive state. So we are good at recognizing negative emotions better than positive ones, unless we feel good.
Also, I really want to see more studies on men with BPD, specifically quiet BPD. I feel like there's this ridiculous notion sometimes that women are the only ones with BPD. Both should be studied and compared to see similarities and differences to better treat BPD
yeah i’d love to see more research on quiet bpd ! great comment
I'd pin this comment.
BPD produces "less" empathy? or dysregulated empathy? Sometimes I feel so intensely that I feel there is too much empathy there.....
I totally agree it's too much sometimes, even the good feelings. I was also bummed to hear it was only women in the trial. I know women are much more likely to be diagnosed but it would be nice to know if there is much difference there in treatment.
Cognitive empathy. It's not what you feel, but what you understand. It's more like recognizing a pattern than being able to relate. It's like, if someone feels down, but you don't know it until they tell you. Or maybe you just don't notice until a point where other people would say it's way beyond obvious. Stuff like that, not whether or not you empathize with the feelings they're having.
It's a "don't know, do care" not a "do know, don't care" if that makes any sense.
@@wareforcoin5780 Thank you
People with BPD have problems with interpersonal situations where they would need to explicitly and in a controlled way reflect on somebody's mental state. Instead, they make quick assumptions about others and their feelings, which are not tested or reflected. People with BPD that are untreated often get me wrong and hurt me if I don't keep my distance as I have deep feelings (and traumas) but don't show them in a way that is obvious enough for them.
@@codyosborne8926 ...do not be dismayed. This is a human problem, not a girl problem! Boy, girl, whatever! We are in this together. I love you... reach out, be strong.. we will prevail because we have each other. I see you. Borderline is a genderless battle. Let's connect. I'm here for you ❤
I have BPD, along with other issues including being a highly sensitive person (HSP) and I need to stay away from certain people or situations because I feel their pain like it was my own. So draining...
Diane McGovern Thank you for expressing your feeling on this. I’ve been this way since I was small. I always felt it was just me. 🌟❤️
@@boniw698 Me, too!! I felt like I never fit in anywhere and never knew why.
Me too!!! Or I feel there pride and anger and it’s kind of intoxicating. Ppl with anorexia or love avoidance or so strong to be around. They might feel bad about themselves or look shy or Tiny but there behavior makes them feel so powerful that it overloads me!
Sounds like you have the infj personality. I'm an infp and there are CZcams channels and communities that might understand and help you.
Zzul Ma what is infj?
I clicked immediately after I saw a notification. I'm always eager to learn
Thanks Londo. I hope you did
@@DrTraceyMarks Please let me know what you think. This video on oxytocin affecting empathy in BPD makes me wonder if transcranial magnetic stimulation could help BPD. When I had TMS for depression, I had the "let-down" sensation like I had when nursing my baby. Only, I had the TMS treatments after menopause, after my hysterectomy and I was almost 60! What a shock to feel the "let-down" sensation at this age!!!
Same
i was diagnosed with BPD but empathy is the one thing i don't lack of. i must be the most empathic person i know. i can understand by looking at someone's face what they may think, or to be more accurate, what they may think of me. as i fear abandonment and rejection so much, i can understand if they have a negative emotion about me. but to be honest, every emotion i think they have, i believe it's negative. but i'm very empathic, when someone is sad or hurt or angry or whatever they may feel, i feel so bad and want to help. i put them first and then myself. in general i put others first. i don't care about myself as long as everyone else is okay
@nai nai my mom who was working with kids with asperger says i don't have it. but i may have mild ADHD because i can't sit still for long and move around the house all the time.
I’m the same as you. I’m actually an empath. I can literally feel what other people feel. If someone is crying, I cry. I just want to help everyone who is suffering. I can’t even watch movies with intense anger because I’ll feel it. I can usually tell what’s bothering someone before they even know it and I love to help them talk through it. It’s very strange to me when people say BPD’s lack empathy. I guess it’s different for everyone.
@@mischa0812 yeah i guess everyone is different
You're actually Co-dependent with Borderline traits. I'd venture to guess you have attachment issues and also episodes of intense trauma later on...also sounds like you're misinterpreting emotional cues or body language which is very common in both disorders. Also Cognitive empathy would not be the same as emotional empathy.
I’m autistic and have impaired empathy. I have three children. Always happiest and better understand others’ needs when pregnant. I also have the letdown response around other neurodivergent people or anyone that I can relate to or people I want to protect. Biology is amazing.
See my comment above
My bpd has changed drastically with 20 years of Therapy. At first I didn’t recognize or understand empathy. I said and did things that hurt others without realizing it. This started to get confusing and uncomfortable when I started having children. I didn’t have a problem loving and protecting them. But I didn’t know how to relax and play with them. This is hard to talk about. But I was so messed up with my mental illness that missed a lot of bonding moments that I can’t get back. They are now adult’s and it’s still hard for me. I want to love be loved. I have gotten better but I still misunderstand expressions and tone’s in their voice’s. I even miss the tone of my voice and sometimes come off sounding mean or putting down when I don’t mean to. It can be really hurtful and embarrassing sometime’s.
Thank you for your insight. My heart feels for you. Best wishes in your journeying through this challenge in your life, I truly wish you well.
I pray that this gets better for you and that you're able to bond and give and get the love you deserve.
I thank you so much for doing the odd borderline video here and there. I am borderline. I've only been diagnosed for about 6 years out of my total 38. But damn. You get it. And THIS video in particular. I'm literally going to my GP asap to look into pressing Oxytocin treatments from this. I'm a nursing student and a mother and I fully understand Oxytocin as both a hormone and a treatment... this would help me so much. I know it. Please don't stop. This is cutting edge,amazing and relevant. I can't wait to be a nurse to pass on your teachings. Thank you again. All the love ❤
This made me so happy. I feel like Ive come a long way on my BPD journey but somedays (less often than before) I can still become overwhelmed by the negative emotions even if I recognize them as exaggerated or unwarranted. DBT has definitely helped but there's a stark reminder every few weeks or so that im not 100% there yet.
WHAT? Quite the opposite.. I have WAY TOO MUCH Empathy and BPD. In fact, that's my biggest issue, that I see and feel the pain of others so intensely.
I think the difference, in my experience anyway, is the cognitive awareness of the emotions. Like, when someone is upset near me and I start to feel upset, I can recognize that it's my BPD making me take on their emotions. I'm not actively "empathizing" with them about their struggles, I'm just "catching" their emotions and having trouble separating what's theirs and what's mine. One is automatic, one is actively trying to put myself in their shoes and see WHY they're upset, instead of just enduring the feelings. I hope that makes sense, just in my case. Cuz we create our emotions, and I think BPD brains have a habit of making us feel whatever someone near us is feeling, regardless of if we truly feel the same.
@@Hoclem this is the most perfect explanation!!!
me too ❤❤❤❤
I think you are entirely correct
This is very interesting. I have actually read somewhere that borderline is a result of a negative perspective on life. But as I have only known abuse, hatred, physical harm and torture as a kid, I perfectly understand where my disorder comes from. I have been diagnosed both Borderline and Asperger and I am baffled by the similarities between both. I know I have an issue with recognizing emotions, especially neutral ones. People seem agressive to me anyhow. I would be ready to try anything to heal and be like normal people. I know i don’t lack negative empathy as I have too much of that. I recognize and some times absorb the negativity of others and noticed that most of my friends are negative people or I attract the negativity of them.they complain all the time. I have now decided to change and that I do not want that in my life anymore. I have also decided to treat myself well. I don’t know if I can get the drug where I live, but I will do my best to change my life and focus on the positive.
Dr Tracy,
What happens when my BPD cause me to have too much empathy for other peoples problems? Sometimes so much so that it causes me serious depression and anxiety. I have this more with animals than people but in both cases severe. I am always concerned for others comfort and needs but when it comes to myself, I don’t have a clue what I need from others. Please explain how only you can. Thanks for what you do! You’re amazing
This is something I was wondering about. My partner has BPD and I have been trying to learn more about it, but I see a lot about "lacking empathy" which is something I don't really see at all with my partner. Me and my partner both have Autism and we share the same extreme need for justice that often comes with it, but I've noticed that for them it can have a really big effect and if they feel that they can't make things better they'll start to think they'll just make things worse and will start distancing themselves, so I really don't think there is any lack of empathy, I do think that sometimes they way overthink and spiral and really don't understand their own emotions about things like that but I don't really like how much is centered around a lack of empathy when that's not the issue that I wanna learn more about :/
Get tested for autism
I just started internasal OXT and WOW. it's amazing and has been very helpful with so many aspects of the illness. Mood lift, anxiety reduced and help working with negative emotions and those nasty intrusive thought patterns. It aids me in being more mindful.
Do you engage in rage behaviors in relationships like splitting?
My BPD was under the best control when i was pregnant especially with my youngest. I don’t know why that was or is, I’m assuming hormones etc. was the most calm & settled i’ve ever been, i enjoyed those 34 weeks.
Same
Me too
Absolutely hormones... You no longer go through the cycles. PMS time likely being the worst 10-15 days of a month .. you no longer had that dip during pregnancy
Maybe people were more attentive and respectful of you because you were carrying life?
@@byebyeworldx. that’s what i think too
REALLY? This is exciting, because I struggle a lot with my BPD, and I've told my husband that the best, surest way to calm me when my "switch has flipped" is to cuddle me. It's difficult because that's when I'm at my least cuddly, my least loveable, but it's what I need to know in that moment--that I'm loved even when I've "werewolfed out."
that’s really sweet
I would of never guessed that a labor inducing medication was so connected to emotions and mental health. Lets hope its another much needed treatment option for Bpd. Thanks for sharing the knowledge Doc!
Thanks, Dr. M, for another fascinating discussion. I'm inspired to read this study because, from how you broke it down, I disagree with the reasons why people with BPD have trouble identifying and/or relating to positive facial expressions of emotion. E.g. I think said impairment has more to do with the traumas experienced by individuals with BPD-It would be helpful to run this same study on individuals with PTSD. My hypothesis is that we'd see very similar results, which would encourage further research on the clinical correlations between BPD and PTSD. Thanks again!
Deeply emotional video on many levels, as the mother of my child has BPD and never been more vulnerable but happy than when she was breastfeeding, but you also gave me hope. Thank you so much and keep posting please 🙏
I don't think I lack empathy at all but after so many let downs I feel anger and pain instead
Cognitive empathy is not recognizing what someone else feels, not being sympathetic when you do know.
Wow. That was a good story.. I bet it kept a lot of people interested. Thanks again for your selflessness in bringing us this video.
Jeff Varley I concur
Thanks a lot. 😊
Hey, first of all I wanted to thank you for this video, as a person with BPD it was exciting to find out there is something that could be a positive addition to my therapy or other meds. However I would like to say, that it's so important to use a proper language, when talking about people who are already extremly traumatised and in pain. Saying that we "lack empathy" is not the best thing to say... It is a fact that some acpects of our empathy can be changed due to the illness, but it is not specifically "lacking" empathy in general, but rather for example having it more sensitve to negative emotions of others. Anyway, thank you for your work, I like your channel a lot!
Thank you for this. I took Ritalin for the first time today, aged 56, after having it in the cupboard for three years. I was full of hesitation and dread. My story is too long to tell, but I thought I might be bipolar, borderline, anxiety, ADHD for so, do long. I think I could focus but I felt the muscles in my face tighten for an hour or so.
Please don’t take 3 year old medication. Go get a current thorough evaluation and start from there. 🙂
Stimulants can certainly make anxiety worse. I don’t know if that’s why you had the muscle tension in your face. You should talk to your doctor about that to see if that’s the appropriate medication for you given that reaction.
@@DrTraceyMarks I understand, Ritalin is not approved for adults here. I did see numerous websites, including Mayo clinic's where changes in muscle tension, including facial muscles are indicated. It is not a deal breaker for me. My ADHD - if it is indeed ADHD - seems to get quickly more problematic when under stress, such as now, where, as a teacher, I am forced to deliver my classes online, leading to a lot of stress as I can't concentrate enough to learn how to use the various technical tools to manage the classes. (One of our teacher died last week from stress induced, I believe, from this,)
Girl i love you. I listen to you everyday.
It is so important to talk about the science of things. I really like your perspective, Dr. Tracey Mark's!
Oookay, I have BPD but I'm also a highly sensitive. So if I take this oxytoxin what's going to happen to me?
LOL the milk story....Dr. Marks, you're awesome, may need to steal that story for my clients- Laura LMFT
I don't need any more oxytocin, I've got way too much of it. Our emotions absolutely overwhelm us. I don't need to feel anymore unbearable, overwhelming love that I can't handle.
Thank you thank you thank you! I was having an intense BPD attack because my cat was almost out of food and I had little way to get her more. I recognized my BPD was heavily triggered and I wonder if oxytocin had anything to do with that since she is my baby. But once I sat down, coincidentally found this video, and hugged my sweet baby, the attack calmed down almost instantly. I was already producing oxytocin, just had to direct it in the right direction.
Thank you so so so so much!
thank you dr. tracey for another great video! thank you for your kind messages.
I strongly disagree as you see many of us with BPD are on this thread disagreeing with you Dr. Marks. I hope this is brought up to whoever got this information. Lacking empathy??? What!? That is the farthest thing from the truth. I hope in a video you talk about this more in depth or show how there’s proof of our lack of empathy? We have to be the most empathetic people in this world. We feel things WAY TO MUCH! It’s to darn intense. I’m constantly in an extremely heightened sense of empathy. Our ability TO OVER FEEL empathy for others and there situations at times is OVERWHELMING and a constant drain. One thing we do not lack is empathy. Feelings for us are extreme. This over sensitivity to feelings is a major cause of anxiety for us. At times it’s so overwhelming that it is all consuming making it hard to even get through a normal day at times. It’s like being in a state of constant hypersensitivity all day long. It is literally physically draining and mentally draining. On a bad day one can come home after a day of hypersensitivity and be physically sore (body aches all over tight muscles jaw headache sore eyes etc) and extremely mentally drained. BPD is a personality disorder that mentally and physically effects you everyday and a lot of the time all day long. It consumes you.
Thank you so much for this. As a former nursing mom and diagnosed in my 20's with BPD, this is so interesting. Post weaning both of my children, I experienced depression and sadness that took a few weeks to get through. By my second baby I was more involved in the PMAD community and had a better awareness of what was happening in my body. I'm sure that my body still misses that oxytocin!!
😃 mine too
I didn't get that part, How do both of you miss oxytocin, can anyone explain me? Like do BPD & their newborn baby as well have to live all their life without having any oxytocin hormones in the brain and not sharing any love or seeing the world with a positive and loving perspective or point of view
More useful tools for the mind ❗️ thank you Dr. Marks ‼️ looking forward to your live chat Friday.
Thanks John. I’m looking forward to seeing you there 😊
I have only just stumbled on your page. I’ve just watched this video 3 times after a close relatives diagnosis.
I subscribed straight away. Thank you for this invaluable information. Sending so much gratitude your way and looking forward to watching more of your content.
Do not use this video to deal with your relative who has been diagnosed because she is 100% wrong about our lack of empathy. Read the comments and you will see most of the comments are from those that have been diagnosed with BPD and completely dispute this conclusion. That is the opposite of our problem so please do not treat them like they are self-centered and selfish and cannot feel for you and don't have any concern for you or you will just be perpetuating the stereotypes that get us stomped on every day now. I don't know where they got this idea from but I can tell you they are 100% wrong about the empathy problem. Our problem is we feel too much empathy and get overwhelmed and don't know how to help And yes we do skew negative when interpreting someone else's emotions and I'd say the easiest way to solve that problem is don't make us interpret. I'm not a mind reader and I don't want to be one so I ask my circle to let me know what feelings they want me to take into consideration that they're feeling right now. When everything is said directly and not needing to be inferred I don't have any problem relating to people and I am quick to show empathy to my circle of friends and even to the wider community of humanity itself! There is absolutely nothing to gain from this video trust me. She's spot on most of the time and I don't think this is her mistake so much is the entire psychiatric communities fumble. I don't know how they got it so wrong but they really did when it comes to empathy. If you treat your diagnosed loved one as if they lack empathy you will probably insight an episode guaranteed because I almost want to lose my mind right now I am so insulted by this video this is so disrespectful to who we really are. I honestly would like her to take this video down It is so wrong and there are still people believing it and she's reinforcing garbage stereotypes that do not apply and only get us BPDers treated worse. I will be sending her a private message this is ridiculous I have never seen a video that was so absolutely opposite the truth. There is nothing good here and I think if I took oxytocin I would end up with blubbering mess on the floor unable to ever move because the suffering of humanity would be too much. Absolutely ridiculous. This is not reflective of most BP deers Please don't treat your relative this way.
Some media guy asked Louis Armstrong "what is this thing they call Soul?" and he replied, "If You Gotta Ask, You'll Never Know," anyone who has somehow benefited from ego death by alienation, if someone asks "how do you do that?" or "where did you get that hook?" it occurs to them they have choices to make about whether to try to elaborate or keep it to themselves, because it would be a long story, and sensibly enough answers to questions of how they got what they did should remain unavailable, a high-functioning client of yours would agree
OK I’ll take your word for Mark 😊
please more videos about BPD. I have BPD but I still can't understand what it is. It's so complex to the point of confusion.
It's CPTSD.
This explains why I always felt happiest (balanced) when I was pregnant and nursing. I would love to be in the study. : )
Very interesting Audrey 😊
My bipolar 1 completely disappeared when I was pregnant. I am interested in this.
You are amazing!!!!!!!!! Thank you for your informative and well delivered videos . Really I love you for this!
I love your anecdotes and content!
I'm so excited to hear this, for my husband. thank you so much
I absolutely do not lack empathy! I have more empathy than anyone I know.
So wonderfully explained. Love your channel. : )
Great topic!!
I don't lack empathy. I have too much empathy. The photographs didn't do anything for me. I'm fiercely protective and can't stand to see suffering.
From my own experience of raging covert narcissist mother I was certainly never shown any empathy so never learned it or even learned to mirror it . Both narc parents never spoke kindly of anyone . Empathy is best learned as a child . I would describe myself as avoidant with some borderline tendency.
I learn so much which is of practical use from you. Thank you.
One more excellent video! Thank you and congratulations!☺
Thank you very much!
Great story. So fascinating. Thank you!
You’re welcome Heather and thank you 😊
I had a BPD girlfriend, who had studied etiquette. She came across as being very classy, but she used formality as a substitute for empathy. She was… destitute of empathy.
Sounds more like a narcissist
@@yaelfeder9042 That too. BPD/NPD
@@ihbarddx Sounds like my dad. Thank god I only inherited the BPD and am in treatment.
Thanks Dr.Tracy for your videoes, They are very informative, covers a wide range of topics. Unlike some others in the you tube who are fixated, only on narcissism.😊.
Thanks Joseph. Yes, narcissism is very trending.
I was dx'd with PTSD in 2001 & 2006 by psychiatrists and later dx'd to be BPD by a VA social worker. BPD feels like a catch-all diagnosis and I've tried to understand how I got diagnosed to have it. A VA psychologist once did a treatment on me that worked. (He made me feel like he was in the same 1970's bar when I was 19 and in the military and taken advantage of while drunk. The mental intervention definitely made me view the same memory differently.) I carried alot of guilt inside for drinking, getting taken advantage of and becoming pregnant and not wanting the baby. I still feel horrible guilt for wanting and not wanting my baby.
This makes total sense. Since stopping breastfeeding my son I have really fell to pieces again.. I'm not a complete mess but I'm struggling again. I thought it was because I had to be stronger because I was focusing on breastfeeding, it could be possible that the lower oxytocin now from no longer breastfeeding could be affecting my bpd more.
Thank you for the educational videos Dr. Marks! They are helping me be a better counselor to my clients. Could you reflect on the unique stigma associated with BPD? I’m sure you’re aware that many people with this diagnosis have trouble finding adequate care because some clinicians consider those with a BPD diagnosis to be “manipulative”, “bad patients”, or “unmanageable”. Additionally, could you respond to the theory that many people with BPD experience great, almost debilitating levels of empathy? My clients and I thank you!
If one has become numb from trauma. (can't cry unless there's alcohol consumption) can oxytocin bring him/ her closer to others and be able to feel again?
Can certain foods increase the production of oxytocin?
Great question! I’m curious, too! I think I just found a new research project
I don’t know the answer to that little lulu. It is a great question. This is still in the early stages of research. I assume that as it is studied more we’ll gain a better understanding of how it really affects people and what emotions it can help people overcome
@@sfree322 let me know what you find plz and ty
@@DrTraceyMarks it could be the answer for me. Been isolating for almost 2 decades...I need to feel love and be alive again.
@@littlelulu4107 why don’t u go and do a ayahuasca retreat in your country? It is good for the intents u have
Thank you for the information can you continue to make videos on clinical trials or research in this area. This video is awesome thank you.
I am breastfeeding and was diagnosed with bpd and as soon as you said protect I looked at my son who is sleeping and felt the oxitocin and the milk wow
I have BPD and breastfeed 2 of my children and they have a secure attachment. Well done and Keep going ❤❤❤❤
Very interesting example. I hope this treatment plan can help many people afflicted with this disorder.
Me too. They’ll need some more follow-up studies to show the same benefit.
Very interesting, nice video!
Thank you 😊
Wow. I feel like you have described my whole life. I hope I can heal from this and have fulfilling intimate relationships.
Thank you so much again for your videos. The one’s on bipolar and BPD are my main interest but I really pay attention to all. Is there a video(s) that you can do with recommendations for books and websites that you would recommend for your viewers? All your information is helping me understand myself and my friends much better.
Hi wine box. Thanks so much for watching even when it’s not a subject that applies to you. I recently ran across a good book resource list for various disorders. Let me see if I can find it.. but books come out all the time so it’s hard to keep that kind of list current. I still like using Amazon reviews to get a good sense of how readable a book is and how useful it is.
This makes a lot of sense as to why my bpd symptoms lessen once I deliver my babies and nurse them, bpd symptoms trickle back when I start to wean and then hit with full force once I finish nursing completely.
I kind of get that because I've isolated myself and been alone a long time. I have lived through ALOT of trauma and narcissistic partners, and I remember the only happy times in my life were raising my kids, and being a nurse...now I'm disabled and the ONLY time I get a boost of happiness is when I'm with my grandbaby! Or if my adult kids need me, or anyone for that matter. It's like that's all I am and the rest is just apathetic waiting and crying. I do react and assume nobody wants me because they don't need me, or I don't hear from anyone, which just makes me feel invisible...then when I do, I dump all the fear of my life and loneliness on them, which makes them avoid me, which makes me angry, and unable to empathize with their life struggles codnitively...I've been diagnosed as cptsd mostly and trd, but one very cocky Dr diagnosed bpd in 30 min 1st appt, simply by checking off boxes and telling me he was never wrong...it has scarred me terribly! I believe the oxytocin would help me immensely as I literally have no-one to hug, touch, and from the fear of trusting from abuse and choosing narcissists and abusive people, I am lost! And sadly recoil from psychiatry now that I've been labeld bpd! Even reg Drs as they all profile me immediately! It's a terrible way to live. 😢...I would take the oxytocin! Just wish I could find it
I feel that I oscillate between high empathy and low to nonexistent empathy. Years ago I would have denied struggling with empathy at all because I feel so much, but now I can see and accept that there are times I experience little to no empathy. This is usually when my emotional experience is so overbearing (if i'm already hurt) that when I do something or say something really awful to someone I don't feel bad at all. For instance wishing death upon someone who was my friend and went behind my back to pursue my boyfriend. Later on I do usually regret being cruel. But not really because I feel bad for hurting their feelings as much as engaging in a behavior I would rather have not wasted energy and time on and that made me look bad. When someone hurts me I can go from loving to hating them in a second, simply put. Now if i'm watching a movie or see someone innocent struggling who I don't have any negative personal experience with I can be overcome with empathy and I will go out of my way to help at all costs often to my detriment. It really sucks not being able to find that in between.
That is amazing. Thanks.
Thank you for teaching me so much!!!!!!!!
I can recognise sadness and anger (negative emotions) much more easily than happy or neutral emotions, but that imo is because those were the most common emotions to see in others in my childhood surroundings (and in the case of anger, the one I had to quickly recognise to stay safe), not because they're the ones I feel the most. Just giving another possibility (not diagnosed BPD, but I know a lot of people with BPD come from bad homes).
How incredible is this.!!!
love you and this thanks for sharing
Thanks so much Mack! ❤️🤗
Dr Tracey I would like to raise an issue with the information you have provided in this video regarding people who have bpd aren't as good at empathy compared to those who don't have bpd. I have bpd and I am very emphatic and I am able to understand most people's emotions and feelings
Every year I learn another thing I was right about. And as always, being right doesn't matter.
Hello doctor Tracy! I was wondering if you'd like to talk how personality disorders can manifest in children! It seems to me that it's becoming increasingly evident that some personality disorders often do appear in childhood and typically are diagnosed as something else (eg autism or adhd). I think many of us would like to learn more about personality disorders in early childhood.
This is a awesome question! 🙋🏾♀️ Childhood ADHD diagnosis here…yeah now that I know so much about myself it was definitely there the whole time I am now 38 just figured out I had it on my own last year after a affair I had actually I had multiple affairs back2back….I couldn’t figure out why I was behaving this way and I started doin research and everything all of a sudden made sense about my whole life and my experiences. It was as reconfirmed when I reached out to a therapist after years of being misdiagnosed. I actually gave up on therapy cause I felt they never got to the root of my issues they always say it’s anxiety and depression
Keep making videos please!!!
My brief pregnancy (unfortunately resulted in miscarriage) and the changes in hormones/maternal instinct that came with it provided a lot of clarity to my bpd tendencies. I never understood the connection until now. Huh.
I am not sure that I have a 'lack of empathy' I think that I perhaps have too much. I often 'feel' how others are feeling; good, bad or indifferent and often have a high level of insight into why they are feeling that way.
It is difficult to try and 'push' them out of my head.
I also find it extremely difficult to regulate my own emotions and when that is combined with the 'perceived' emotions of others...
Thank you for the video Dr Marks.
I always get amazed no matter the topic 😍...
Thanks Christina 🙂
I have heard that they were researching oxytocin for all kinds of things in Australia. I wonder of they finished that study? My son has autism and I heard that’s one condition oxytocin could help. I have ankylosing spondylitis and I had no trouble while I was nursing. I always felt a change with a change of my milk supply.
So interesting as right now meds focus on serotonin and so many meds fail in bpd
was diagnosed w/ ptsd @ 8, Borderline @ 15 and C- PTSD @ 22 then @ 25. Now I am 29. If I had never been abused, I would be an empath but after my PTSD diagnosis, I was given back to my mother, A Narcissist with extreme gaslighting skills & so with that and other abuses I let go on because I had no boundaries, My real gifts as an empath got messed up a bit. Thank you for sharing. I just want to leave this comment and I am giving you a like for your post. Ppl w/ a BPD diagnosis have issues w/ boundaries.. If they were taught this and worked on it the second they were diagnosed, they wouldn't appear to be manipulative because they are not actually trying to manipulate people. People with BPD are taught a lot about DBT which helps you control your emotions but I really think more of an emphasis on boundaries needs to be made. Also, manipulative accusations have always really bothered me(especially coming from "professionals"). People with bpd may make you feel manipulated because of their emotional dumping but if they are not being rude to you, then they are most likely just trying to get basic needs that were not met when developing. The thing is most people with bpd have attachment disorders and were never TAUGHT boundaries. NARCs strongly benefit from people having no boundaries. So with that in mind, OF COURSE people with borderline personality disorder are going to be used to a very messed up way of communicating that benefits no one except a narcissist because those are the only people that want to deal with a borderline and it's because they can easily manipulate them. Empaths also have issues with boundaries which attracts narcs. But an empath with boundaries isn't going to get much attention from a narc. Whoo! Same thing goes for people with BPD! Start setting those boundaries and you start setting yourself free.
It’s typically unadvisable to diagnose someone under the age of 18 with a personality disorder as their personality is still developing.
@@mischa0812 thats what i thought but it happened more than once & the amount of drugs I was put on was insane too for a child. The mental health system has hopefully improved since 10 years ago 🙏
Man as soon as you said which of these ladies are you more likely to meet, I was thinking I wouldn't want to meet any of them😂😂 and there you said it
I think people with BPD have TOO much empathy. Like big emotions physically hurt me... seeing someone cry literally hurts my heart
That's very interesting thank you for sharing that. I'm sure it is going to bring up a lot of other questions like what about people that are on antipsychotics to treat the psychosis portion of BPD, and what other side effects such as lactation are going to occur, and is it safe for men. I understand that there are some antipsychotics that if men take can give them larger breasts and make them lactate. But it is great information and I'm glad people are looking for better information on causes and treatments.
when i argue with someone... i start having anxiety... my hand and feet starts getting cold thinking what if the person starts ignoring me or like bully me...at 19 years old i know it's about confidence but during this corona pendemic can't go to a psychiatris... can anyone suggest me any videos or like give me any suggestion how to overcome getting fear at little things....thanks
Amazing ....!thank you.
I think it has more to do being in emotional distress more than other people. “normal” people in a lot of distress go into self preservation and have a hard time being empathic too. I read somewhere where someone said people with” BPD think they experience emotions stronger than other people.” I think that we DO experience emotions stronger than other people, it’s not just like a cognitive distortion.
As a BPD in remission who is also a giver because I do have feelings for others. I think that it is possible but I could be wrong, you could be just another doctor keeping big pharma rich and patients dependent on you for services for a lifetime. Just like us borderline’s, ya’ll doctors don’t have the best reputations as group either.
The person in the picture: 😐
Me: “sHe’s aNgRy I cAn teLL i’M sORRy laDy”
The scientist: 🧍🏾♀️
Many women with bpd appear very empathetic? This sounds more like NPD?
I don’t lack empathy. I always one to feel bad for the little guy and help. I don’t lack it, but my intense fear of abandonment is the is high
This is a "final" study or has to go to more tests??? Or how "studies" work in order to be "confirmed" by the medical society?
Well, she's only spoken about a single study that only tested women. I figure that probably means this subject needs more research. Medication is serious, you don't want to rush into using it. Something that seems like it's perfect can turn out to be massively harmful. Doctors used to prescribe hard alcohol for colds, and smoking for lung conditions. Jumping into things because it _looks_ like it's working isn't a good idea.
Theres no such thing as final study? we'll always keep studying. What she is talking about are the final results of 1 study.
Nothing is ever "final" for something to be widely accepted it must be independently reproduced over many different studdies and over diverse circumstances (instead of just women as in this study).
Estefany I think you have you’re answer 😊 but yes this is just one study and results have to be replicated by other research studies. There’s not a set number of studies because it depends on the strength of the results, study design, etc. but this is just a starting point for further study.
@@DrTraceyMarks Thank you a lot Dr!! 😘😘😘
why do people with bpd claim to have a lot of empathy if research shows they don't? (i have bpd but i know i struggle with empathy but a lot of people in the community claim to be empaths)
I wonder how it feels, to feel real empathy for people. I have to allow the feeling to go deep within me, and it takes me a while to actually feel anything. So I learned to "pretend I care". Awful isn't? People see me as this highly sensitive and helpful person, when all I'm doing is tricking them. It feels wrong. I was diagnosed BPD not that long ago, Dr. Read My Mind All The Time, and I still think there might be something else there. My psychiatrist is assessing me for Bipolar 2 are the moment. But that's another one I learned to deal with. Oh joy!!
i want this treatment. i don’t even know my diagnosis because my symptoms are so many, and so all over the place. but i think basically all of the possibilities could be helped by this.
i could have autism or ocd (or both), bipolar 1 or borderline (or both x_x)…. but i know for a fact that a lot of my problems must stem from C-PTSD. i score 100% on the ACES test :(
i’ve been addicted to opioids on and off like 8 years now. i feel like it’s all related. oxytocin is likely a major key.
What would happen if I gave it to a sociopath/psychopath/someone that does not feel empathy?
I really want to know.
This could have merit. Our pwBPD eventually goes to negative empathy after a certain point - ending things with a final f u and the horse your rode in on. She can't seem to grasp how hurtful her actions are on the recipients.
What is curious to me , is how thourouly the "Jr. High school-middle school" pep-rally , clique building , us vs. them , herd-mentality "stampede" instinct empathetic emotional social feedback phenomenon has so downgraded the baseline of ordinary community interactions . Many excuses and rationalizations can be offered , such as overcrowded schools and an insufficient number of teachers who are underpaid , or simply "let the kids be kids" , but , the same social corruption paradigm continues into the business and military by "team building" exercises . I applaud you Dr Marks for admitting to instances of altruism and subjective concern and for professing that you actually care and "feel" for your fellow man . Kudos . one question , do you imagine or think that the hyper-aggresive "social bonding" and the addiction to social media and other cult-like behavior are going to easily or soon to become free of the obvious levels of malicious manipulation , and is it institutionalized or a more random phenomenon ? ? Just curious , have a nice day .
Thanks Dr.🙏🏽 More about BPD please. I’m having a hard time understanding the dissociation part of my disorder. Would you be so kind to make a video about this 😬
Dr. Tracey, please do a video on Autism Spectrum D. comorbid BPD.
Oh i have difficulties to calculate the right picture of Dr Tracey. For me it's like 67% happy and or relieved, but also something like fearful, screaming, sad, angry, in a state of mourning, sarcastic or aggressive. I would need more context or an animation of this to get another hint. Just by looking at different facial cues gives me no clear answer.
My best guess would be, that she was tickled, because the mix of happy and pain features in her face.
The other picture was simply smugging or something, it's not that important to think about it that much. There's no answer-pressure involved.
I think a lot of us lack empathy for ourselves especially when splitting
Fascinating and funny at the same time.