Ed Smart, father of Elizabeth Smart, on how he came out to his wife and six children
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- čas přidán 10. 12. 2019
- Elizabeth Smart's father made headlines over the summer when he revealed to the public that he's gay. Ed Smart became a national figure in 2002 when his daughter was kidnapped and then rescued. In an exclusive interview, Smart told Gayle King about struggling with his sexuality for decades, and how difficult it was to come out to his wife and children.
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Let this be a lesson. Just because someone is married to a woman for 30 years and has a brood of children doesn't mean he's not gay.
Still theres only 3% gays. Tv says its 50%. Fools
So true
No I don't think most people believe that "TV says its 50%"... more like, some people are so strangely obsessed with a topic, they perceive that "TV is saying so many people are gay" when it isn't.
He also doesn’t need to be disparaged for being gay.
warrenpaine this is very typical for this religion and the region. Another result of society unable to accept people for who they are and fixating on who they have sex with. Religion corrupts everything it touches
I think he can be gay and still have lived in a loving, happy marriage that wasn’t a sham. Not everything is black and white.
Do you understand how being gay means?
i think they could too, but only if his wife knew.
Your idea sounds like he would be gay but not love authentically as a gay man. Am I right?
That could be true. He may have a more complex sexuality than just being only gay. Maybe he can emotionally be attracted to a specific woman. Who knows.
So true. You can Love someone without being sexually attracted. A marriage can be amazing companionship more than sexuality. You can have a good marriage with not
The best sexual relations
He never gave up on Elizabeth, I hope his family supports him.
Thanks dad, for breaking mom's heart and ruining our lives, what a shame. So no, his family doesn't HAVE to support him. Their marriage WAS a sham 😔
@@texastea5686 What do you want him to do? keep being with her?
Yeah, even known he was gay, I could tell he loved her.
@@RubesErin his religion was and is telling him right. But that's between him and God, his maker. Hate the sin not the sinner. Cause God already knew who and what he is. But it's still called an abomination in the Bible.
Great point! They are doing very well and handle it better than most moormons. Their relationships have changed but they are still friends. I admire Ed for being true to his wife, true to his soul and not a big fake like the others. Everyone learns love is love with honesty. Go Smart family!
I feel so sorry for his wife.
He's the victim Meanwhile his wife has been living a lie that she didnt know was a lie and has to start over in her 60's.
I've been in her shoes. It's a excruciating pain . one that time never heals.
How can she have been living a lie? If she didn't know it was her truth. He knew so he was actively living a lie.
I think they are both victims. And I think both were living a lie and both were living a truth. The guilt lies with religious dogma, that forced them to both live a lie. I don't think he knew he was gay, in the way that most people know they are gay. His religious beliefs didn't allow for that. It's viewed as a sin and a choice, and so in his mind, he wasn't lying, he was just choosing not to sin. I think she probably had her suspicions for years, but she chose not to ask him until recently.
Homophobia hurts people in the weirdest ways. People keep perpetuating it.
Mennomom I agree 100%
Many gay men of that generation and before was living in a marriage hoping it would pass, especially if they were men of faith. Pity the family including him.
So true. We are evolving as a society and some were not fortunate enough to live in this era. How painful it must have been. Religion can be very trapping. Thankfully we're on a course of change, but not soon enough.
@@felix121984 what! that doesn't even make sense
@@VioletJoy I agree with you! My heart goes out to him it really does.
Exactly. Happened to my family, but we all survived. The spouse must be strong for any children.
So true - so much Hurt that was completely unnecessary. To all parties involved
I feel like this family has gone through more than most people in 3 life times, never mind one. They're all extraordinary in their strength.
Did they have a choice? You go on with your life, the best way you can .
Disgusting man; deceiving their family like that; be honest if you are gay don’t marry a woman
That isn’t even close to true, it’s just most peoples lives are not banded about on the media.
@@ragetoberidiculous statement. That have gone through more than most people. Most people don’t have their children stolen and raped for 9 months.
Watching his interviews, he seems such a good soul, so genuine when speaking about his feelings 🩵
Gayle is like the nosy neighbor. LOL
Ted Conn 🤣🤣🤣
She is!
She wins the Gladys Kravitz Award for 2019. You're no Alice Pearce, but you sure have the lack of civilized boundaries!
@@smileyfacewithsunglasses7613 she? Lol hardly....
@@maxalberts85 The Gladys Kravitz Award, you are too funny Max!!!
He reminds me of an older Neal Patrick Harris.
TL Pricescope wow you’re right!
He can’t “remind” you of an older NPH as NPH is younger than this person, isn’t he?!so there is nothing to “remind”. You might want to rephrase that thought.
oh yeah! good observation!
@@valeria-militiamessalina5672 your response made me think, so I looked it up. 2nd definition: "Remind: cause someone to think of (something) because of a resemblance or likeness." So what poster said is correct. ES in the vid caused poster to think of something because of a likeness. ES reminded this person of a "likeness" of an older NPH.
@@valeria-militiamessalina5672 You should read their comment again, they are saying he is like NPH, if NPH was older. They aren't claiming NPH is the oldest, it is the exact opposite.
He seems like a kind and caring person. Wishing nothing but good things for all the Smarts.
This is just cover up psychology.
no, he knew what he was doing
I feel sorry for women who devote their whole lives to a man dragging them through their lie…. Not fair to her.
Couldn't agree more!!
I married my high-school sweetheart, only to be told 4 years later that the reason he married me was to prove to people that he wasn't gay! Despite the fact that he cooked, cleaned, dressed, and decorate better than me, I didn't know! Seriously! I look back now and think....duh! 😳
@@swedeheart214 wow 😪
@@swedeheart214 how are u now? Hope you found happiness!
💯
my heart goes out to his wife.
mercy same 😢
Why? Because she married a gay guy?
Liam Espeland: Because she married a guy she thought was straight.
Me too. So sad for his wife.
My heart goes out to both his wife and him!
I thought he was gay back when Elizabeth was abducted.
Me too! I had the vibe
I thought that too. He had gay all over him and on his forehead!
Lol, I just thought he was morman
Many mormons are gay and living a lie. It's what the church pushes on them to "save their immortal soul". It is sick and sad.
@@lez11221 I take it that you did not get my joke. Think hard or maybe ask someone smarter than yourself to explain my joke to you.
I was married to a man for 14 years and found out my ex was gay after our divorce. I had no idea!
Nicole Newell and what a waste of your time! I am so sorry!
Gwen T I was blessed with 4 beautiful children during this relationship. I thank God for my kids everyday. But yes it was a lot of time wasted.
I honestly blame the religion(s) for brainwashing kids into thinking that being naturally attacked to the same sex person is a "sin" then things like this happens! People can't change the way they are born!
Did you ever watch the TV show as Happily Divorced.? I didn't know existed until a few months ago (aired in early 2000s). I find it funny. It's about a woman who finds out that her husband of the think 20 years was gay. They remain best friends. It stars Fran Drescher and is loosely based on her life
random Swiftie how proplr are born the way they are?
“marriage is more than a bedroom” thats amazing
my heart goes out to his wife.
Well, the bedroom is a very important part of this bond. Otherwise, you just have a convenient friendship agreement and frankly, why not?
If a wife has the suspicious, even for a second, that her husband may be gay, she can be 100% sure that he is gay, because women intuition is rarely wrong.
I didn't remember this being a fact of the case back then.
Same goes with men's intuition too!
Nah not really some guys are just more feminine in nature that doesn't mean that they are gay...
Taylor Swift fan DK - I agree with you. Some men are more feminine and they are straight and their wives don’t worry about it. BUT if a wife has an uncomfortable suspicion, then something is going on with her husband. 👍🏻
@@earth7451 yeah she can ask them what's going on with them
Wow he is so relieved. He didn't answer the question on why his wife asked. To answer that question that most women already know... she just needed him to say it.
Sheriece McWilliams remember when Elizabeth was missing & there were all kinds of rumours the police found gay stuff on his computer??????
Sheriece McWilliams I dated a guy once I asked that and he started crying, I told him I was sorry, misunderstanding etc. He said it was an insult. I felt awful for days, I mean really awful. Who knows maybe I was right .....
@@sisterpacifica I forgot about that!
I know I wanted to know that also. Gayle didn’t force the issue. She shld have instead of feeling sorry for him asked the hard questions. I don’t just stop LIEING to ur wife out of the blue. I bet he found this new romance and decided to end his marriage.
@@KS-hi8vi ah yes. His wife asking 5 years ago to him finally accepting himself for who he is, after being taught he'll burn for all eternity for, is out of the bkue.
Well atleast he didn’t cheat on her. Its kind that he was faithful to the mother of his children.
That's what YOU think. He probably met up with men on Grindr in rest areas, parks etc
Mr T Raa yes! There are some honest persons still out there I believe, but remember that it says in the Bible that you can cheat in your thoughts. But thank goodness he came out.
@@alicesais770 exactly. He was gay throughout the marriage, essentially cheating on her in his heart. Faking his love for her.
Texas Tea yes, so sad that we don’t teach our children to be who they are no matter what and that we will love them no matter what! So many times you hear how parents abandon their children when they do come out! The “Church” really pushes us to be what they say we should be.
@@alicesais770 sadly I agree. Im a Christian (Baptist denomination) and it's a real touchy subject because a lot of church members have at least one relative who's gay. I think what I'd do if my kids were to say they're gay. But i know I would never shun them or push them away or say I hate them now; im afraid I just wouldnt be quite accepting of the lifestyle. But they're my gifts from God and i love them dearly NO matter what! There's a great book out there by Ann Mobely
books.google.com/books/about/If_I_Tell_You_I_m_Gay_Will_You_Still_Lov.html?id=VYBotAEACAAJ&source=kp_book_description
When my daughter came out, (we are Mormon too) there was a struggle for a few months on my part. Then I realized there was a struggle and pain my daughter went through for almost 25 years.
We are at such a good place now and we respect each other and who we are and what we believe. It doesn’t matter. Because she is my blood, my daughter, and part of my heart. I’m glad he is finding peace after such a traumatic life. He looks like he is finding happiness.
Are you from Utah too?
Hey Leian, thanks for being an awesome mom. I wish every LGBT kiddo could have their family accept them.
@@gradetrend8138 I lived in Utah for 10 years but I was raised in Indiana and raised my kids in Indiana.
@@jelfamily thanks ! Both great states . As far as he's concerned, it was a great blessing and nothing short of a miracle that he got his daughter back home .
.
Gay or straight, it must be tough for his ex-wife of 34 YEARS to be divorced and watch her ex-husband move on so quickly with another love, finding out that the man you had 6 children with was never truly sexually attracted to you. Meanwhile, he's on TV and you're at home, rearranging your retirement plans.
My heart goes out to his wife too. Whenever someone is against LGBT rights, I say, okay- “would you want to be in a relationship with someone who is closeted?” The answer invariably is always “no.”
This guy isn't "brave" or a "hero". He's selfish and he should feel HORRIBLE! Coming out and living your truth is one thing, but to do it so publicly only pushes the knife much deeper in his wife's heart.
He didnt comw out..his wife pulled him out...privately ...then he spoke to family...then a statement was made to the church..thats when the media picked up on it.
That would be awful realizing you just spent thirty four years with a man that was never in love with you.
There’s no ideal time or way for this man to tell his wife and kids that he has been gay his whole life. I don’t know how else the poor man was supposed to drop the bomb of secrecy on the family. He seems like a very loving man who was very torn on how live his truth. His family is lucky to have him.
I remember when Elizabeth went missing. On the news conferences my Mother and I watching knew he was gay. So this is not a surprise. Just hard to watch that he had to suffer so much not being able who he is. I'm sure he loved his wife very much and his children. Hopefully they are all at peace.
How did you know he was gay?
the first time i heard him speak, i knew he was gay....how did his wife NOT know....i'm sure the truth was known in the marriage for years. This is a sad chapter but Ed is free now, it wouldn't be a true life for him if he did not come out. That would be even sadder. I will bet he was and is a better father and husband than alot of straight men. That being said, I am glad he came out.
@@Brooke-bl3yq How did you know? He doesn't sound "stereotypically" gay to me.
I’m completely shocked that anyone finds this surprising. I thought the same thing the first time I heard him speak. It just seems so obvious.
It was so obvious and everyone acted like it was not. Probably because he paid thousands of dollars in tithing to the church. But if this had been a poor non-tither, doubt he'd get a pass like buddy Ed did all those years.
That family has already had more heartache than it deserved.
This poor man- I hope he has the love and support for himself and all his family.
Honestly I feel for both of them. He spent so much of his life trying to deny his truth and live a lie. She spent 30 years married to someone who isn’t what she thought he was. I hope their family can move forward and still love and support each other. And I hope one day society is progressive enough that nobody ends up in this situation anymore, and people won’t feel they need to hide.
My heart goes out to his wife
Ms. V I feel bad for any couple that ends a long marriage. But it has nothing to do with wether or not he is gay.
His wife could be bisexual too.
His wife was supported and loved for over thirty years and he still cares about her.
And his children. Finding out your dad is gay in a phone call at 5 am. WOW!!!! He could’ve planned his coming out in a more healthy way for his children. It was a very selfish act on his part. I feel for them.
Me too. She loved a man that is not interested in being with her after all those years. She will need a great deal of support from family, and friends.
My heart breaks for this man. His pain is so evident in his eyes, in his voice, and in his body language. So brave.
Whats more brave is being a man not a socialism puppet
My heart brakes for his family
No. I feel sorry for his children and wife. Not sorry for him
@@BenClason the only thing I have to give him credit for is he as a Mormon & he led a life dominated by their church .God only knows what else is under that blanket. Religion makes people good or really bad.
No, Satan brought it on.
Wow, I feel very bad for his wife. This guy is something else...
They are always "something else". It's ALWAYS about them!
This family has endured more than their fair share of hardship & adversity. I sincerely hope now that he's accepted himself, he can now be an even better father, friend & all around better human being.
I can't imagine being his kid at 5AM in the morning learning my parents are divorcing and my dad is gay. I pray the family be at peace.
Yeah at least let me sleep in.
His poor wife.
He had 6 kids with her.
She wasted 30+ years with this man.
I’m sorry but I do not consider him a hero.
He ruined her life.
The family Should have kept that among themselves. The world does not need to know everything.
It was so sad for him that he had to sleep with a woman he wasn't attracted to for 30+ years because of sick societal pressures and bigotry. Nobody should be afraid to be who they are.
warrenpaine what’s even more wrong is to lie and put your wife through that after 30+ years. You’re thinking about him. I’m thinking about her. He is basically bisexual and he wants out of his marriage but he’s twisting the truth and using the ‘poor me I’m a repressed gay card’. If he was fighting with his sexually that hard then he shouldn’t have stayed in a marriage for 30+ years and have six kids with her. Plus how would you feel if your dad randomly and manically called you at 5AM with no regard for your feelings and dropped a bomb on your life. This man seems manic.
Anyways, we disagree.
@@HCM1986 As a gay man I have zero respect for people like him. He cannot claim to be gay when he is clearly bisexual and was married to a woman and had six children. That poor woman is devastated.
warrenpaine nobody should be afraid...but he had no right to marry a woman. If he was ashamed, he could have remained single and had relationships privately.
I’m sorry, if my dad called me at 5am when I’m sleepin and said “Your mother and I are getting a divorce and I’m gay.” I’d be a little take aback like... that’s something you need to tell them face to face together not “Oh I need to get this off my chest so I’m gonna do it now!” You can’t do that to people you claim to love, you owe them the respect and dignity they deserve as your children.
Yes, seems selfish.
@@tereseday4060 Drama with a capital D 😳
Feel for the entire family. He having to struggle, his wife that was there for 30 years and must find her new path. The children dealing with all sorts of emotions. Hope they all are doing well.
My Mom had affairs on my Dad while they were married. That's a heart breaker
@@cheri7054 are you a smart
@@lindaarrington9397 I can sypathize with the smart children. I hope they all find peace
the children are not the only ones "dealing with all sorts of emotions."
Don’t leave this world being in denial of yourself. Glad he came out and living his truth
What about the word of God?
What about it?
It's not fair to his wife. Before I marry any man, I'm gonna have the talk with him.
Anita M. I agree it’s not fair to her but it would be even more unfair if he continued to live s lie to her and himself
@@motheoletsatle3810 He is Mormon all of them live by the Mormon rule & being gay is a no ,non .Just like in any religion more lies than facts .
I applaud him for talking about it.
So many young gay people are afraid to come out. Some are suicidal. Hearing from someone like him can help them.
The Happy Camper his wife could very likely be suicidal now. I’m not trying to be funny. She’s in her 60’s at the very least. Her entire future has been ripped away. She is surely feeling like giving him so many years she will never be able to trust again. Heartbreaking for Lois.
Reba Nerk yeah poor women, she lived a fake life...I feel so bad for her, I hope she finds peace...she has to be an angel, my husband do that to me and I don’t know what I will be capable of doing, but trust me he wouldn’t be given public interviews......he is a very weak man and he always will be...this is worst than cheating...at his age he he should keep his mouth shut, he is at the age that he needs the Blue pill to have sex and very soon someone to take care of him...
natalie dell your husband wouldn’t be giving public interviews! I love it, that’s hilarious!
The Happy Camper there’s nothing to applaud because he lied to his wife for 30 years, but in his generation, being gay wasn’t accepted so I feel for him too. If he came out 30 years ago I’d applaud him for leading the way. We ate all human and imperfect beings. I wish nothing but happiness for him and his family.
It’s so sad boys and girls want to end their life just because they love someone
It's so very sad to think about how many men hid their sexuality.
Well I'm sure it's more than just men hiding their sexuality because of how much hate and homophobia there is in the world!!
@@kso4068 yes absolutely!
In my opinion he was selfish. I also didn't love my wife for many years until her death. All those years I was in love with another person but always played the part of loving husband because I knew she loved me.
@@JT-xj1pgI'm really sorry about your wife's passing and I really don't wanna sound rude but if you didn't love her then why did you stayed in a unhealthy marriage with her? You and she could have found loving partners for both of you guys and would have had a happy life.
Divorce is not a bad thing if you are not in love with each other
@@JT-xj1pg She probably knew. Your choice wasn't all that great, either. You should have set her free to be with someone who loved her.
My heart goes to his wife it’s sad 😢
I’d feel so humiliated and lied to.
Very true. I would too. There is the possibility for further trauma as they move forward with their father's truth - and the broken state of the family once again.
@@spiritmatter1553Totally agree!
I just don’t understand why this has to be so public... It’s his personal life and feelings. Why is this what is in the news on CBS?
Because the government wants to make it super normal so that they can destroy family life, men and women. They want to normalize this then push pedophilia on children thru the "Love is Love" movement.
Diana Vee I completely agree with the first part and truly pray the second part isn’t true. Makes me freaking sick to me stomach and angry
@@cj5021 in California there are a few schools that are teaching pedophilia was normal at one time in history. I've been doing some research into this and it looks like that is where we are headed San Francisco also has a group called "nambla" or something like that. National association man/boy loving advocacy. This is completely wrong and should be illegal.
Diana Vee that is so awful and disgusting! Ugh I don’t even want to have kids one day and bring them into this world with the way it is headed
Diana Vee you’re disgusting and evil
Ray charles could see he was gay.
I know. I always thought he was. It's a shame he couldn't be himself all those years. I'm glad he can now.
I’m dying 😂 😆 😝
omg 😂
@@emwiley5137 I knew he was gat too, but some of us have better gander then others.
My heart hurts for his wife and children growing up being religious and he just drops that that isn’t right I am Christian and I don’t agree with his decision but that dosnt mean I hate him but I just don’t agree with it
Amen
Seems like evil stepped into their family. So sad.
He seems like a kind and caring person, and I am happy that he finally had the courage to come out. On the other hand, I know the pain of being the other person in a relationship like this. I felt lied to and duped into a relationship that was not what I signed up for: loving someone openly and honestly who could not love me back in the same way. Thankfully my relationship only lasted 2 years, not 30 with 6 kids. I'm sure Ed loved his wife, but not the way she expected to be loved. He hid the truth of who he really was to her, and that is a lie in my book, a lie about who he was at a fundamental level. It's awful that people feel the need to hide their sexual orientation to be accepted in society. I can only imagine the pressure in the LDS and I understand why he hid. I just feel really bad for his wife.
His wife should blame the LDS, they are responsible for the homophobia that made it necessary for her husband to try to survive by hiding his sexuality from himself and everyone else his entire life until his 50s or 60s.
@@steveshea6148 if blame is the game we are playing I think it can be meted out to everyone in the situation. Ed's wife obviously had some inkling that he was gay. Seems like she had put the pieces together over the years and was too afraid to confront him for a long time. Ed, himself was too scared to admit it to himself. The church controls people with fear. That said, I still know how devastating it is to feel lied to by the person you built a life with or are trying to build a life with
I was married to a gay man for seven years, unbeknownst to me. He only came out when I confronted him. He bribed me to keep my mouth shut, and he has married another woman. Edit: The bribe was that I got to keep the house.
@@JPMJPM Thats very sad. I hope one day he can feel comfortable enough to share it with the world. It must be so hard to hide that due to shame or fear.
@@JPMJPM Wow...I'm sure his subsequent wife would have greatly appreciated being apprised of the fact that she was getting involved in a kind of fraudulent relationship. Do you wish you would have told her so she could have made an informed decision?
His wife is not "devastated", she has ALWAYS known...you don't stay married to a man 30 years and don't know him...She MIGHT be a little dismayed that he got on national television...
Ila Williams exactly
Women always know tow things: 1) If her husband is gay, or 2) If her husband is straight but doesn't lover her.
You are so wrong. I was married for 23 years didn't find out my husband was gay until he committed suicide. So she very well might not have known the entire time.
@@nancylarson7494 So true
Ars Longa He’s lying now also. She asked out of the blue because he wS having an affair.
Glad he came out but what I don't agree calling his children at 5 a.m. That's not something to wake up to
Molly Brennan yes..
*to
“Too” means also. “I want that, too.” Or: “i, too, love that dress.”
Or, “that’s too many people”
Very self centered
Yeah, I don't get why he couldn't think of their needs and call them at a reasonable hour.
Tony D: "A marriage is much more than a bedroom. It's not a sham."
Excellent, true, heart words Louise needs to hear. Since he was following their faith, In sure he did a lot right and that he tried very hard to be a good husband and father. He committed to her for 34 years. The marriage ending is devastating, but she can now release the questions she had and realize that Ed was dealing with things in himself and that it was his dedication to her, their faith, and the marriage that kept him in the marriage for so long.
My marriage lasted 3 years. This man has such strength of character and you can’t get that just anywhere. He is a good man.
Screwball
I feel so bad for Lois. She must have questioned every part of her life with Ed. I think he suffered Lois to save himself and his reputation. Ed had to known he was gay when he dated and married Lois. If you are gay be gay. Do not use others to protect yourself. So much sadness will come from the deceipt.
But the Mormon church leaders put so much pressure on gay men to marry anyway and have a family. The Mormon leaders have been so cruel in their treatment of gays and lesbians in their fold. Giving electro shock therapy at BYU in ty 80’s to cure them. How sick is that?
The whole segment should have been kept quiet. This was a private personal family matter and should have remained that way.
NOT NATIONAL NEWS.
Solmom03 it gets ratings because the public finds it interesting
Probably set it up himself to avoid tabloid trashing him
I think he is trying to set an example as an aid to others but I agree with you.
Solmom03 that’s kinda hard when he has been a public figure, and he didn’t want false rumors to start as they would, if he didn’t deal with it publicly.
"segment kept private"?? This man obviously didn't want to keep this "segment private"...
This is the most ridiculous story ever. Why does this man need to get on TV and further embarrass his family by spewing his personal life to the public. We didn't need to know that. Total disregard for his family's feelings. UGH!!!
I hear ya. I can't stand mainstream news.
RUCKEK09 Lilly exactly. I don’t care who a person loves but don’t rob someone of 30 years of their life and publicly humiliate her!
"Why does this man need to get on TV and further embarrass his family by spewing his personal life to the public."
The media had already reported on his divorce and the reason why. That was in August. He appeared on this show to answer questions about the situation. The members of this family have become public figures. If it's so ridiculous, why click on it?
Salmagundiii good question. I don’t know why I did.
Agree!! He disgust me!!
Good for you, Ed! He has been a good husband and father for all those years. And never forget; without him, the police would NEVER have found Elisabeth!!!
Their relationship changed but they are still friends. I admire Ed for being true to his wife, true to his soul and not a big fake like so many others. What an example Thanks Ed !
They found Elizabeth because of her little sister, remembering the evil man that came into their bedroom.
@@dejacavu6259 True to his wife? Waiting 30 years to reveal to his wife that he's gay is being true to his wife?
He seems like a good man. It must be horrible to struggle internal for all those years with such a secret. I hope you can find the happiness you desire and you meet someone amazing. Good for you for sharing your truth. May it set you free and May you have a wonderful life.
I hope his ex-wife has a chance at happiness and a wonderful life
He should have been honest with himself and with his wife before marriage, this is NOT HONORABLE behavior in a man nor would it be in a woman. Be Honest....save yourself pain and trauma and MOST of all live an honorable truthful life. Lets not idealize dishonesty, he doesnt get a pass for dishonesty. To thine ownself be true...
@@latinaalma1947 how? Tell me, how, with the way society viewed that community. His own religion denounces that community. What choice did he have, especially if he wanted a family. Until you walk a mile in his shoes, you don’t get to judge.
@@tinasapienza6552 thank you, I have nothing to add, your com is perfect !
@@tinasapienza6552 I get what you are saying, but there is a woman behind this secret who lived her best years with someone who lied to her. She deserved to be with a man who loved her with a wholeness. She deserved honesty. She deserved better. Marriage is until death do us part, not "until my secret is revealed and I go on a journey to find my true self, so bye....!" I get in his youth there was a social taboo, it was a different time of not being accepted, but that didn't give him the right to take her along for the farce. He should feel bad and cry about what he cost her!
My heart goes out to the wife and kids. This is painful for their family. Hope that he finds peace after all of those years.
You are right and him it s not right ! Now what...if im married with a beautiful wife and i have great kids...and i love another woman....i have to destroy my family because ? He s not right...and he s not great father...! 100 % he destroy he s family and now many people thinking he s great man...! He s not !
@@direstraitslondon6034 well said. He is giving into lust or flesly desires. Lust is not love. Shame on him abandoning his family
@@boondocks8002 wow you people are idiots. His kids are grown. Let him be who he is...his wife probbably wasn't happy either if she had to ask him. I am sure she knew.
no one, and i dont care who they are or how hard they try, YOU DO NOT gain happiness by hurting someone else, no way, it does not work that way!!!!!!!!!
When this first came out, I remember thinking, I knew it because I got that vibe back when I would see him on tv when his daughter was taken.. I feel so bad for this family because everyone deserves to be happy...I feel so bad for his wife...
My Gaydar is broken
I kind of felt it also.
Got that vibe too
Totally! It was glaringly obvious back in 2002, his demeanor and affect had totally set off my gadar.
Right lol just look at him
His poor wife, this is a tragedy.
What compassionate presenters, including Gayle. The male presenter at the end who added:
“A marriage is more than a bedroom. It’s not a sham”
Yeah. I really liked that a lot. Especially coming from a male. There are all kinds of ways for people to be together and share life. this straight man and staright woman being married and having kids shouldn't be the gold standard.
If my father (a Mormon with 3 children) came out to me, I would just cry and give him the biggest hug for keeping his truth hidden all his life. I would feel so bad for him for keeping it a secret for 61 years. Also, so happy that he finally could be himself.
Did he find a boyfriend?
He says "I expect to be happy." That's wonderful! !!!!!!!!
Does he happen to EXPECT his wife of 30+ years and his children to be happy, too, after hearing his lovely revelation.
Selfish, selfish, selfish man!!!!!
I feel this man’s pain as much as I feel his joy. At last he can be himself. As with countless other families who have lived a similar story, his wife and children will likely come to accept his “coming out” but it will take time. Here’s to a world where everyone will be free to love whomever they choose.
😱Wait a minute! What?! How did I miss this?😱
He loves himself more than he loves any of his children. Nothing against anyone who is gay, most are way past that (thankfully) now. He is now a very old man. The greatest sacrifice he could have made would be to keep the promises he made and love his family enough to give them that. We all make sacrifices for those we truly love, you make one choice, it excludes another choice you might have made...that's life. This story saddens me deeply, not because (I repeat) he is gay. Six kids and a wife whose world he destroyed...so HE can be "happy". BTW, there is no 'your truth' , 'my truth', there is THE truth.
@KeepTrying I also think it was selfish the way he told his kids. Springing the news of the divorce alone, even without including he was gay, at 5 AM, by phone, almost surely waking them out of a deep sleep, was not done with their well-being in mind. Only his. Very revealing, in my mind.
Agree 5 a.m. selfish, phone selfish. Going on TV selfish, make sure you just rub salt in wife's wound. Cad, be gay, no problem, just be nice
The courage it takes to live one’s life free of shame, guilt and remorse is
incalculable. Ed probably could have managed coming out to his children differently but each of them will process the information in their own way. Ed will need to respect each child’x process and say so.
Wishing the entire family the very best.
Blessings!
✨🙏✨
I’m just glad his daughter was found and now helping other families. I mean he’s had a whole life and it’s his time now to live his life the way he wants.
He kept his true identity hidden for a very long time. I am happy that he finally made PEACE and embrace himself.
Yes. Important to accept and love yourself for who you are. The LDS church sure won't do it.
Just because he "has feelings," does it mean you HAVE to ACT on them? We all have sin area's that we struggle with, but choose not to act on them.
Being gay isn’t a sin. We are all god’s children.
You really think he would’ve done all this if he didn’t feel like he had to. The man had a wife of 34 years and 6 children. What you are saying is one of the most despicable and hurtful things you can say to lgbt people. It’s because of people like you that things like this happen. It’s because of people like you that people hide who they really are for years upon years. Being gay isn’t some “area that people struggle with”. It’s who we are.
He couldn't live a lie anymore.
So sad. What a slap in the face to his wife.
Calling your kids on the phone and tell him such a thing like that what a coward.
Him speaking his truth will free him help someone. I wish the whole family peace, especially his wife.
I feel sorry for the family, especially Elizabeth. The poor girl has been through so much already.
For a moment I thought that I was reading my comment because your's sounds similar. As such, I gave yours a GREAT, BIG, HUMONGOUS "thumb's up"!!!
Oh shut up
This has nothing to do with her. This is HIS STORY.
I assume Elizabeth was very supportive.
@@jaelynmckenzie7852 That's her father. It has everything to do with her, you silly twit.
this man has been through so much but im happy that he's able to live out his truth and he seemed soo happy at the end you can tell he's been able to let go of so much weight off his shoulders. Sending lots of love to him and his family!
you do not gain happiness by hurting other people, it is no different than when a man chooses to cheat on his wife with another woman, it is a choice he made, he has to live with it, it is selfish thing to choose to do to your family.
i know many here will not agree with me, keep your comments to yourselves please just as i don't put you down when you write a comment i disagree with, i am stating here what i believe just as much as you do: it drives me crazy that we know that adultery , pornography, pedophilia , prostitution are deceptions/perversions while supposedly homosexuality is different, accepted, excused and explained- how did that happen ?? and no, no one is born that way- What he is doing is committing adultery with a man, that's it. The way he feels towards his wife shows how deep inside he knows it's not ok to do this to her, to himself nor to his children. He is giving into an insidious, conning lie and now he is going to multiply the harm to young people....... it's just plain terrible !! I do feel sorry for him, very much so !
I remember when this case first came out- and I thought he was gay as soon as I saw him on television. It’s so sad he had to keep his true self down -& I feel terrible for Lois. I hope she can find real love again.
God, this family has been through it
This is horrible. He’s selfish. I remember being so happy that Elizabeth had the perfect loving family, mother, father, siblings and uncles to support her in all of her trauma. Why would he do this to his beautiful wife. Just horrible and heartbreaking. . . . . . .ABOMINABLE!!!
He couldn't live a lie anymore.
At first I thought I misread the title. I recall how loving and persistent he was in searching for his daughter. I am sorry he is in pain and I could only imagine the pain his wife and children feel. I think his wife knew all along. There are people that ignore the obvious just to have the cookie cutter life, relationship, money, excitera! I wish him and his family well.
Honesty to yourself will always set you free. Living a lie, you'll just have to deal with struggles for the rest of your life.
On some level they all knew. And I say this from firsthand experience with a close family member. After we had time to absorb the news, in our own way we each realized we already knew. Knowing it academically, accepting it emotionally and acknowledging it outwardly are all very different concepts. We overlook things an unbiased outsider can see clearly, automatically dismissing anything that threatens to disrupt our perception of reality. When it involves a spouse or parent it shakes the very foundation of a family. But it is survivable.
I want to have some empathy for him, but this has to be so rough on his wife and kids. Decide what you are before building a life with someone!!!!
Lynn Marie Anderson with all the shaming and homophobia I think it’s fairly obvious why he didn’t come out earlier. He also could be bisexual but doesn’t confirm that 💁🏻♀️
I was heart broken when I found out my Mom had affairs on my Dad throughout the marriage. My Mom married young to move away from her abusive Father. Then having Daddy issues. I try to push that aside to deal with it
You can still have empathy for him as well as his family, I do. This man comes from a generation & faith that was not as accepting as it is now. My sadness is for the time they lost trying to be straight when he was gay. IMO he should be applauded for finally living his truth.
Jennifer Smith no, this is ridiculous!! Comes out after all this years. Poor wife!!
Lynn Marie Anderson that s so easy to say. That was more than a generation ago - he would have lost his entire community
The way he told the kids was just for himself and not considering his kids.
There's a lot of people in Mormon country that feel forced to carry a straight lifestyle, and it's only going to end in heartbreak for the family
Feel forced? ... or they use innocent people to present themselves well?
@@sgtmomOK Forced. Being a gay Mormon is gonna make you a pariah real fast if you can't find a beard. That ecosystem doesn't make it exactly easy for anyone "different" to tear away
That's his personal business, no need to share it publicly because we don't care, take it to your therapist..
This makes me sad. Sad that he felt like he had to hide this his entire life. That she had to spend 30 years with a man that’s gay. I was raised Mormon and they raise you to feel guilty about sex and sexual feelings. They never say anything bad about being gay but there are no gay people. This is all around sad
"felt"
Oh there are gay people all right, justice smart, living the lie
Thank you Mr. Smart for sharing your story with the world. Hopefully the bravery, love and strength you showed will inspire growth, acceptance and peace for others who have lived a life they were not meant to live. To Mrs. Smart, I hope time will bring you acceptance, joy and love. May peace be with all of you.
I'm proud of him for being honest with himself and his family. I wish them all the best.
Carrie Coronado this is the best response.
It’s a rough row to hoe for all of them, but they’ll get through it. There are many married gay men, from what I understand, who don’t come out and live in unhappiness rather than wind up living alone. It seems like Ed Smart must have a love in his life and good for him.
It’s unfortunate that he had to wait that long.
He should have been honest before he married and stole the years from his wife.
@Summer Rose Amen! Amen.
Seems like a very good man. I’m happy for him.
I feel sorry for his wife
How sad for both of them. Let’s hope they can find happiness and peace.
May I also add that had Mr Smart been secretly in love with another woman, he would not be considered a hero, but a creep. But because he is gay, somehow that makes it okay. And best of all, gee, he's happy. Well then that makes it all okay too. You lied. You stole 30 years of her life. You hurt her beyond repair. Nicely done, sir.
you know homophobia exists right? your “it’s no different” spiel is interesting but the reality is having to hide being gay out of fear of persecution is different than if he had been in love with another woman
All due respect, I am aware homophobia exists. But that does NOT give him the right to marry an innocent person under false pretenses, have her believe he loves her, have her give him children, be a faithful helper and partner to him for 30+ years, and then dump her like yesterday's garbage because HE wanted happiness. For HIM, not THEM. Where were HER rights? Where were HER truths? Where were HER choices? This isn't about homophobia, this is about him being a selfish pig at HER expense.
Cathy Danks okay cathy, i can read you don’t need to capitalise a bunch of words. i’m not saying she has no right to be hurt in this situation but comparing being gay in the 70s/80s to being with another woman doesn’t make sense because homophobia exists and gay people didn’t have the freedom to express their feelings in the same way that straight people did, really i just think they were both victims of a homophobic society
@@cathydanks8908 I agree with you! He has found a new partner, he is happy now, while his exwife sits left alone with her thoughts about being lied to by a a man , she thought loved her, the father of her children, for 30 years! Imagine 30 years of lies! She could have found a man who wanted HER, have found true love and now she is an older woman, who has to get to terms with this and maybe never finds someone to love again while he sits there laughing on the television. Why even go to the media with this? No, I am definitely and absolutely not homophobic and I get his life wasn’t easy! But imagine his exwife’s life fall totally into a million pieces! All her memories about their life together will mean the same anymore.
Ignorance is so ugly Cathy
He was gay all the time, made suffering his wife, his children and himself.
Compassion for all this is only to much pain
This is so sad. I feel bad for his wife she spent 30 years with him and now she is going to be alone in old age. It made her go against her religion and get a divorce. This just seems like cruel and unusual abuse she has suffered. Then to tell the world and embarrass her. It just seems so cruel. He ruined her life. He’s laughing like he has no guilt or anything.
Imagine......a LIFETIME not being your true self.
Imagine being lied to and wasting 40 years of your life with that goof. Everything was a big fat lie.
Quilterbee Tarpley yes, they both miss a lot but they beautiful children that they can be proud of.
That's what religion does to most lgbtq+ people
@@stonecrestquilt it's because he was a victim of the Mormon cult. Until you've been in the LGBTQ community and also born into a homophobic cult like the Mormon church, you can't understand and shouldn't be so quick to judge.
@@srso4660 The wife wasted over half her life. How is that judging?
He lied every day for 30 years. And this is a devoutly RELIGIOUS Mormon. How did he go to his church & pretend right in front of God? He lied to God. Lois, his 6 kids, his other family members, friends & colleagues. He leaves a legacy of lies. Sad.
because he was TRYING
Please Lord place his wife in your arms and the kids.
The very first time I saw him on TV when his daughter was abducted, I could tell he was gay? I think he is a lovely man but, I feel sad for him
Whew. I mean at least he’s being respectful and has released something that is terribly hard to do. Blessings to them.
I have to say...Oprah bestie is asking the right questions. The questions I wanted to ask as he was talking. Great job!!!!
I always had a hunch. I feel bad for his wife and children lied to them their whole lives
Right.
Kamikaze Kid his poor wife. Nothing wrong with being gay, but very wrong to marry a woman under false pretenses.
I feel bad for them all. Imagine the circumstances which forced him to lie about his sexuality for the last 40 to 50 years of his life (not sure how old he is). his fear of rejection and of mockery.
No, he shouldn't have married his wife under false pretences. That's so sad too.
lam dao really sad. He used her and she has to live with that, poor lady. Instead of marrying a woman he should have walked away from the Mormon church.
*Their
Life is too big to put into a simple little box.
Just live.
This kind of men waste a lot of women's youth when they can easily move on but the woman now is older and stack. Please come out early, don't waste a woman's youth for nothing.
I thought he was gay when his daughter was kidnapped.
1969Vanessa G I did too
Totally.