Crack Addict interview-Patrick (February, 2021 update)
Vložit
- čas přidán 19. 02. 2021
- Soft White Underbelly update interview and portrait of Patrick, a crack addict in Los Angeles.
Here are links to Patrick's earlier videos:
• Crack Addicted Trick i...
• Crack Addict interview...
For ad-free versions of SWU videos, as well as some exclusive videos please subscribe to Soft White Underbelly's CZcams Membership Channel.
Here’s a link to audio only versions of SWU videos: asmrdb.fanlink.to/softwhiteun... - Krátké a kreslené filmy
These interviews remind me of that first time I came to the realization that not everyone wants help or can be helped. When I was 9 I was exploring a creek behind my house and came across this homeless woman living in a tent with her dog. Looking back she didn’t physically look like a 100% sober person. I asked if she was okay and she started crying. I invited her to my house and my parents fed her and we gave her a ride to the Bart station. I don’t know what happened to her but I remember my parents insinuating that she didn’t really want too much help and doesn’t want to change her circumstances.
The feeling of wanting to help someone is amazing but realizing that you have no power to help them because they can’t accept it is one of the most heart breaking things .
Mark , how do you feel when you want to help someone but they just aren’t able to accept the help? Do you ever get tired of offering help because the denial becomes something that negatively affects you in some type of way? Or do you just accept that some people won’t want help and let it go. and you focus on those that do?
This dilemma is why I’m doing this work. I’m trying to understand it all better. It’s so difficult for me to just shrug my shoulders and give up. My follow up with Tyrone, which I’ll post next week is very enlightening on all this.
@@SoftWhiteUnderbelly Thank you for your reply. It is indeed so difficult to give up. But maybe that’s what the world needs .. more people who won’t give up and turn a blind eye . I’m looking forward to watching the follow up with Tyrone and gaining insight.
@@SoftWhiteUnderbelly Thank you, genuinely, for creating an accessible community to explore all of these pieces. I’m a social worker in Canada and really really appreciate the content you create. You’re doing important work!
@@monique9752 For better or worse I’m obsessed with understanding things. How can a great guy like Patrick destroy his own life willingly? I’m learning as I do this. Brain chemistry, childhood trauma, family and environment all play huge parts in it.
@@jannaylucas8924 as a current SW student in the USA, I agree!
If they showed us this type of stuff in school, instead of the terrible DARE program, a lot of people could be saved. It’s real and raw. It leaves an impact
Drugs kill ya. The herb build ya. Thanks bob.
Kids don’t understand this stuff tho lol
Wouldn't make any difference to a single kid...
Lol!!!!!!
@@ANATOLSKIII do you not realize most of the people on this channel started drugs as kids?
Bob Marley your back!
Hey Patrick, if you're reading this, we're all rooting for you.
Yes, we are ❤️❤️
Yes we are!
Be strong!
Man, you gotta love all the positivity in these comments. Indeed!
Yes we are!!!!
I wonder if Patrick knows how many people are emotionally invested in his sobriety, myself included.
I just don’t believe Patrick is invested in his sobriety which is awful. It doesn’t appear as of yet he wants to get better. We can only hope Patrick has to put in the work
@@TiffanyMaryJean he seems like he’s well into depression and just can’t see that there is a better day not too far away
@@ts8206 because we're supposed to be sympathetic and compassionate for others well being, that's why our species thrives. We're not computers dawg, just because it's not "practical" or "logical" to want someone we don't knows condition to improve doesn't mean we shouldn't want it to.
THIS IS ALL SATAN PEEPS!!! Think about that!!!
@@jennifergannuscio6086 stop. We have a mental health epidemic in the US and chalking up to something we can’t fix like “satan” is the exact reason why our government doesn’t do shit about it. We can’t blame all our issues on the super natural.
Patrick's story helped me onto the path of sobriety...
Same.
Word
This is how i got clean from a serious meth addiction that had been out of control for 6 years. I didn't go to rehab. I cut myself off from all my contacts. Literally deleted everyone from my phone after telling them i was completely out of the scene and couldn't help them score. I got through the first 3 weeks mostly sleeping.(withdrawal from meth is depressing but not that painful) Then i watched tv for about 4 months. Then i moved to a far away city. There was no praying. I focused on keeping my house clean and kept to myself. I got my favorite snacks if i could afford them. I am now 14 years clean. I still fantasized about injecting meth for about 10 years after quitting but never tried to score because I knew that one hit would destroy everything all over again.
Congrats!
@Still awake, that is absolutely amazing and inspiring. I'm going on 8 years in May, clean from heroin, crack and xanax. Keep telling your story, it gives us hope, hope that there is a future for people who are struggling with addiction. Right now, today, I needed to see your comment. Thank you, I'm proud of you, rock on.
@@littlegreenfroggy8299 & I needed to see both of your post! God Bless and Keep it up!
@O K Amen!!!! Same here!
You did it. Proud of you!
He's such a lovable smart and charismatic guy. I hope he gets clean, he deserves sobriety!
Self sabotaging...lack of 💕 love that's the foundation I believe
Everyone deserves soberity.
@@customfittedinc absolutely
@@customfittedinc It's heartbreaking.😢
even if he wasn’t all that, he still would ‘deserve’ it
I believe Patrick has a good chance at getting clean. He still knows himself.
Hopefully he can overcome his shrouded thoughts
He is smart.
Impact, in Pasadena, is what he needs. They don't sugarcoat or comfort people. No bullshit. You step up or you're gone.
Yeah, he's completely capable of living a normal life imo. He's far from too far gone.
I think the exact opposite. He has no idea who he is. Without his family, religious and Harvard connections to constantly save him he might have a chance. He needs to get to the point where he is so fed up with his bullshit that change is the only option. People have to stop enabling him, Mark included.
The crack jaw gets me. I remember being just a small little girl and seeing my dads jaw do that. I watched him go from a big strong man to a stick. Thankfully God saved him and he has been sober for over 30 years. I pray everyday for everyone who is addicted to drugs and their families who to me, suffer the worst.
@Taylor Made Man No, they call it geeking. The drug causes you to do it especially when it is getting out of the system. It’s not controllable.
It's called gawning. It happens on Adderall & Vyvanse too. Any amphetamines do this. And coke and crack ofc.
Lockjaw, I get it also.
Praise God 🙌
It's caused by stimulants, even caffeine pills, ecstasy, or diet "Stackers" can cause one to "geek" and clench. Eventually, the grinding and dry mouth causes the enamel to wear away and cavities will set in teeth will disintegrate...
We are all 3 bad decisions away from being on this channel. These interviews are a sobering reminder to be thankful for what you have and who you are. One traumatic event could send any of us into a spiral. Be safe brother, you are stronger than you think
spot on
3? We're one bad decision away
All the animals in the wild are in danger, yet they still lay their head to rest and they still find something to eat.
Amen
Trauma and addiction aren’t simply matters of good or bad decisions, mate. Shit just happens sometimes and people need to cope
I had a friend that threw it all away for crack, he was a musician and emergency room nurse. I watched his spiral from selling all of his guitars down to his car then his job was gone. His rock bottom was robbing a crack dealer and getting brutally murdered 3 days later, all in all he was once the most honest and noble guy until this drug destroyed his everything. Save yourself before it’s too late Patrick.
That is one precipitous fall. RIP your friend.
That story is more common than you might think. 8 years ago I was a dope addict and watched every single person around me die or go to jail. It always ends the same 3 ways.
@@briangriffith4574 jail, institutions, and death.
I’m so sorry for your loss. These stories break my heart.
Damn, sorry for your loss. RIP
For myself and many I know, the 40s is your last “young” decade - your body is still forgiving. You hit 50 and shit gets real. If you need to overcome anything - food/liquor/drugs, etc - do it before you get on the other side of the slide.
Trust me.
P.S. It’s never too late but, it is harder as you age.
thank you for this thought; I've been just realizing this on my own, as I'm 42 now; it is really important to remember this
So very true!
I’m 46 and started drinking a year ago after 9 years of sobriety. I honestly can’t see myself getting back up
@@pestlund 9 years...that's great. You did it before, you CAN do it again. Please fight for yourself. I lost my father at 59 and my brother at 44 to alcoholism...my father died from the effects on his body after drinking since he was young. My brother died in a drowning accident. Find your "why," get to AA and fight, please! Do it for yourself, first, and those who love you.
@@pestlund I can see you getting back up.
You got dry and went 9 years dry. To me, that's someone who has fought and can fight it. Don't let the addiction win.
I hope you're doing ok.
i dont even know this man and I love him. Just want him to win so badly.
I got the impression this time that he just didn’t want to leave. He said he was having a good time sitting talking. I felt like he was feeling content peaceful happiness, while sitting talking and he didn’t want it to end. Because he knew the mess, that is his life, was waiting for him when the camera cut.....and back to reality he has to go.
Screw compassion. Psh
DamN Melissa 🥵
I was thinking the same, but kind of came to the realization that he was probably feeling happy because he knew he was going to get more money... he isn’t ready for rehab, turned down hello and rides for that, so he wasn’t in the mode for anything but continuing his bender. I think he genuinely believes he’s in control of it all still and can pull out at any time.
@@dontknow3949 He’s a smart guy, he knows intellectually that he has no control over addiction. I personally don’t believe he fully internalizes it. I know he’s one of the most honest and self aware, but I think that’s one of the statements he makes that he’s fooling himself about. He acts like he can come out of it, like when he talks about rehab but he refuses and has excuses for not going yet still talks about going in the future. There’s a disassociation there. He strikes me a the type of guy who likes to seem self aware and reasonable so he makes comments he knows sound insightful, but I think that deep down he actually feels in control still. I obviously could be wrong, that’s just how he comes across to me after three episodes.
That’s how it is with any addict it’s nice to get away from your fucked up life
Goddammit, Patrick, _we_ aren't giving up on you. I'm a recovering addict. Eight years clean. It has not been a straight line. It has been hard. But I'm doing it. You can, too. I wish you luck, man. Strength. Hope. Above all, hope.
Same here. I'm with you Patrick. I'm clean almost 6 years. We do recover.
Me too!!!!
One year clean and sober here. You're my favourite Patrick, you a real one. I'm not religious but sending you good vibes for a moment of clarity soon.
1 year and 1 month here. When he started talking about selling his car I was yelling at him through the screen lmao. But I get it. It's just fucking brutal.
Sounds like you are NOT and addict any longer.
I don't know where this guy lives but I went to Tarzana Treatment Center for three months after being addicted to drugs and alcohol for about 12 years and I've now been sober for 11 months. I had no idea that it was even possible for me to do so but this past 11 months have been the best months in the past 12 years. I can't even believe how much of an improvement of life I have since being sober. If you're struggling, then just know that it is very possible to live a happy and sober life. ❤️
TTC in the house! Me too! Happy for you! Keep on going!🫂🙏🏾❤
I live across the country from this man and I find myself randomly thinking about him and hoping he’s okay
yes we live in rural western australia and our heart goes out to him and hope and pray he is able to claw his way out of this mess..he is an amazing person and has so much to live for...Come on Patrick..you can do this !
just happened to me... it's 01:45am here in Brazil and I randomly wondered how he was.
it's been some time now since last update ☹
Dude me too lol. I think of him often along with a few other people interviewed on swu. Im am addict struggling now and know exactly how some of these people feel...
Me too, I think of Patrick and Carolyn daily. Sincerely love them
@@cierra8083 I wish you the absolute best moving forward. Be strong!
This poor dude. I just want to say one thing to him. Hate the sin, love the sinner, right? So, don't hate yourself, hate the addiction. You are not the addiction.
Yes indeed !
You're right
Great point!
❤ my niece is trying to stay clean. Loved that you put it this way.
Wrong. The self-pleasuring and addiction is just his selfish, egotistical, greedy, immoral hedonistic heart and soul.
My ex was a crack dealer and user. He almost killed me one day. That was the last time he beat me. I moved far away. He stalked me so I had to move. Now I have a amazing fiancé. I’m so glad I’m away from this mess (him).
i’m glad you’re doing better, you deserve happiness.
Glad you got free of him......Kris
Kris- I knew I’d find you!
@@zertmcdirt7843 dont do that
What a strong woman ♡♡ happy for you
I been sober since 2006 ,i really thank my family for not giving up on me ,🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Congratulations xx
Yes my family never gave up on me. My kids stopped talking to me. Its been 5 years and still they want nothing to do with me. But my mom and dad went to the ends of the earth to help me over and over
I didn't know about these videos of Patrick until his 2024 update and I stopped watching that right away when I saw these older ones. There's quite a few. Such a likeable guy I wish him well.
he's literally crying out "help me" without actually saying it
Literally
He's crying out for money for the next hit
I don’t think you understand what “literally” means pal
you can tell who understands addiction and who doesnt in these comments
@0 forged I’m not sure what you’re background is. I’m a recovering addict myself. I was, thankfully, never this bad because I had a strong support system, stopped and started young, and was honest about my problem. You grossly misunderstand addiction. I’m not sure if it’s ignorance, lack of empathy, or if you’ve been hurt my an addict or was addicted yourself and now have a superiority complex over anyone currently struggling, but you’re glib. The unwillingness to examine your ideas is leading to people like Patrick’s death and homelessness. You’re essentially parroting the views of the US Governments war on drugs which has been a colossal failure on all fronts. I urge you to reconsider.
Patrick is definitely in a downward spiral with the drugs and the sex addiction. I’m not sure if he really wants help at this moment. But I appreciate him trying to be honest and tell his story.
agree.... people need to be real with him and keep bringing the story round to what are you planning to do about YOU
He doesn’t.... I can see the remorse and frustration, however, he’s going to go until the wheels fall off. Then it might be too late
@@jessicabalam4344 exactly
@Raven The Warrior Goddess 22 havent a clue what this means enjoyed the craic goodluck
@Raven The Warrior Goddess 22 Ahhh we say craic here in ireland you missed that point CRAIC it refers to enjoyed the conversation
Man I’m praying so hard for him. Patrick you deserve better. You’re a good dude deep down in there❤️
Started taking crack few weeks back.... at the moment I didn’t know what it was and my friend that got me on the drug didnt say it was crack.... but i got to know just this weekend and i quit.... i told him this morning that i dont want no invite to his place no more.... and i pleaded with him to quit too....
Am sure he wont but i hope i can quit
Well done..stay strong
Didn't know it was crack?
What did you think you were smoking? Buddy had to show you how to hit...
You lyin'
Bruh I wonder if he made u feel bad for stopping,
You didn’t know it was crack lol?
Mark's compassion and genuine love for people is so inspiring.
He doesn’t know that sometimes you just can’t help someone with an addiction no matter how hard you try. It will eventually suck the life out of you. The addict will still be the addict creating destruction around them and you will be in their vortex so depleted and exhausted. Good intentions indeed.
@@mikeybasile8856 It opens eyes. There's good and bad in it, of course.
@@mikeybasile8856 what if you shut the fuck up
@@mikeybasile8856 😂😂
He's not ready to stop. Until he doesn't love it anymore he won't be able to give it up.
No kidding.. he just wants another hit. He needs someone who authentically loves God to take his hand
I have been clean for close to 7 years and I still love the taste and feeling. The whole process involved. I just don’t love it more than my family anymore
Agreed. No one can help him until he genuinely wants the help. Unfortunately I think he's just off his nut here and wants the conversation and stimulation.
100% whats so off is i saw this message right after he said “i love smoking crack”
@@anthonyarnold906 god dammit doesnt the taste and feeling go away after such a long time?? im addicted to meth and im pretty young but i can see it ruining my life already
This guy is so uncontrollably tormented by his addiction-I can actually feel his torment as I watch this video.😢
he is more disgusted by himself then anyone else is disgusted by him. i can relate. like mark is saying, "self love"
@@Psm-00man I feel that so much
These conversations with Patrick are profound. I feel like with each one you both get closer to a source of healing. You help people so much, Mark, not just the participants but the people watching too. Thank you and thank you, Patrick, these vids are changing lives.
The reason people love watching this guy is because of how intelligent he is and how he’s just like a buddy or brother but with a crack addiction. Ive been in and out of treatment my whole life (clean now) and I can’t begin to tell you how many great people Ive met that severely struggle (like myself). I watch these videos to humble myself and get grateful. The pain is so tangible in all these videos. Good luck brother. The fight is never over.
Totally right with every word.
Good work Matt. Keep it up.
So much respect for Patrick’s honesty … I wish I could reach out to him personally and give him a huge hug and let him know he’s not alone … I pray he can forgive himself and continue to use his story to inspire people
Patrick is the most terrifying aspect of addiction. It's like a consciousness that is trapped inside a body that isn't his. He has all his self awareness and knows full well where this is going and the remaining rational parts of him are stuck just watching his addiction destroy him. It's like the movie "Get Out" inside his mind.
That's a pretty great way to describe it. I know because I have been just like him. I've never heard anyone on this channel i relate to me as far as self awareness and the inability to stop.
I am right at that point you are talking about 😢
@@emmash3323 you are loved and you deserve the wonderful things in the world.
@TheWingus thank you so much. I know that but it's so tough to beat.
@@emmash3323 I know. All you can do is your best. There is support for you and we'll all welcome and love you
I clicked immediately to watch. This guys interesting
Me too. This guy is super strange and interesting. Such a weird addiction. Ive struggled with heroin but my issues are so different to his
Me too!!
Facts
seriously tho, if he got sober and wrote this all down it would be the best addiction novel of all time
Same I love this guy
1:51 "Here we go.." That moment when Patrick knows he is going to be brutally honest.... again.
Confirmed at 5:08 "I think I am..... probably the most, honest.... crack head out here"
@@TenThumbsProductions It kills me to watch this because I am a former crack addict just like him. I was always honest. Well. Most of the time I was always honest. I'm not a thief, pimp or prostitute so I had to make money to get the drugs. Then I would essentially sell drugs, by buying $200 worth and then selling $200 worth so I could get mine for free. The people I 'shared' with always got a good deal and it took me a decade to realize that I had been a quasi-drug dealer. That could easily be me sitting in that chair, instead, I have an awesome life. I hope he can get there. You can tell he has a lot to give this world and he would really enjoy being fully sober, with the drug behind him. People think you can't get it far enough in the rear-view, but you can. It's so nice to not want it anymore.
@@christaylor8337 I'm struggling with it too , always find my self JUST before I hit rock bottom , I really want to stop but sometimes the impulses take over I know I have the strength to stop🙏🏿
@@devware5019 hey listen. If you see this message Dev, I believe in you... I KNOW you can do it and I promise if you do. You will NEVER forget this day.
@@devware5019 stay strong bro
Some of the worst nights of my life was during a crack binge and having the dealer borrow my car for like a 30 rock. 5 minutes later thats gone next 5 hours were nightmares. I did this on several occasions my god it sucks...He wanted to buy it but if I did that then I would be exposed to everyone around me that is probably what kept that from happening. Tons of stuff happened between then and rock bottom but I am 4 years clean this month and life is so damn easy without that warped perspective attached to each and every thought that runs through our mind. I hope and pray for you to find your light Patrick much love from one to another.
Well done for getting clean man , I mean it, you are part of a small percentage of people who have succeeded in beating their demons.
I hope life brings you much happiness my friend
I have not stop thinking about Patrick since watching this interview several months ago.. really, really looking forward to a positive follow up xo
He's soooooooo sleep deprived and ripped outta his mind
He acts 12 years old right " common sense is not the answer" selfish
What amazes me constantly is how coherent and okay he looks. Like me being sleep deprived and on crack and stuff, id maybe probably be dead a long time ago
Yup he was definitely on one during this interview
@@Ettyofacts I ld have a stroke ...I don't even like vanilla ice cream lol I need color and nature's way he needs love gentle tough etc
He probably didn't sleep at all for 3-4 days or eat much
This guy is by far the most fascinating guy I’ve seen on this channel. That might sound crazy bc of all the folks you’ve had here, but there’s just something about him. I know his world of addiction as well and I pulled myself out of it after 10-12 attempts and now I’m a social worker for the state and get to interact with ppl who have the same demons I dealt with. I’m very lucky and I can appreciate the effort you seem to put into him bc I’ve been in his shoes and now I’m in your shoes helping people. Crazy how life works out.
So cool! I'm happy for you!😎😍💖👏
This was a sad watch, you can see how much he’s declined. He’s got a good soul. My thoughts are with you. Thanks for the update Mark.
🖤
Wish I could help this guy but I can't,its heart wrenching to watch him go back......
He is a selfish, self-obsessed, ahole and he has a rotten soul. It's better he's told that than your gross and untrue nonsense that would only please his selfish attention-craving lusts.
@@jonathandewberry289 what the hell is wrong with you?
@@crxstianalexandro Nothing at all, I just have more Holy Empathy than you (that makes me a superior being and you a lesser human).
Otherwise, just an ability to observe reality and describe it.
Prove me wrong?
Watching these videos, helps me understand my brothers addiction. He struggles to be honest & hearing Patrick speak about what it’s truly like, gives me a little insight on the pain he is going through. He’s in rehab now, I’m hoping he can stay clean this time. ❤️
We want updates on him Mark. He is a good guy that is getting swallowed by the streets and addiction. I've been there in that same scenario. Went from tricking $20 dates for crack to now buying my own home and running a business. There is HOPE
Congratulations!!!😊😎💖👏
Really? How long did it take you to get from point a to where you are today? Just curious because I've been a iv heroin addict for the last nine years and have just hit rock bottom and really are considering suicide as a viable option, since I don't see myself escaping this hell that ive created for myself, especially in the last year I've been dating a covert narcissist who has broken me down to the point where I don't even have enough strength to make it through the end of this relationship and a new beginning. If I can't stand the pain while I'm numb I most definitely won't be able to deal with this sober. I just want a better life.
Yes girl!! Me too!!
@@rachelsnider313 If you aren't free to walk away from your relationship, you have to make a plan. That's your 1st challenge to focus on. When you're safe you will deal with your addiction. One thing at a time. I'm saying a prayer for you. ❤
@@rachelsnider313 Rachel, try and get into an inpatient program. They have the tools. There’s no relationship once you remove yourself. Don’t harm yourself, please. You deserve better. You can have a lifetime of dreams come true. I wish it for you.
“there’s something positive about you that is as strong as the negative” that shit hit me mark
I never thought of it that way. That was eye opening and made sense. The pendulum swings as far to one side as to the other.
This guy is my favorite and ive seen a lot of these videos.. He's so genuine and real. Im rooting for him 100% and hope you continue updates. You got this man!
I agree, I've been glued to this channel for a few weeks now and Patrick is my fav too.
This is hands down my favorite person you've interviewed..his honesty- just raw brutal honesty is so endearing. Love Patrick ❤
It's just a vicious cycle...Every time you sober up, you have to face the shame, embarrassment, disgust, and all around harsh reality of what you've done... that's what makes you 'need' more if it, more than anything.. the hopelessness is palpable, and more drugs is the only thing that will make you instantly feel 'okay' with it, numb to it... And every time you do, there are more regrets added to the list, and on and on it goes..
Enzo I know what you say is true a terrible self-perpetuating cycle. Especially since a whole program can be derailed by an insurance glitch...
Or just pure desire for what you know is killing you....this guy could go on worse and worse for years.
The thing is the intense craving of crack lasts about 24 hours from when you took your last hit, it’s a primordial craving that has nothing to do with shame,embarrassment or disgust, it’s the strongest craving I have ever experienced in my life, I had no problem quitting because I was extremely scared of the paranoia and heart palpitations
@@makidiaz3894 I've struggled with his same addiction on and off for the past 3 and half years. Everyone has their own personal triggers attached.. but to say it has nothing to do with it is just untrue. I know that when I've come down from a binge, with no landing gear, all I've felt is shame and disgust, and I'd want more to run from those thoughts and emotions. Patrick eludes to this very thing in his first interview towards the end, saying it was the 'remedy' to those very feelings
This is starting to feel like a movie I don't want to continue because a sad ending is on the horizon.
i agree, he's out bad. he's really really stuck.
Its terrifying
Agree
You are doing great work with this channel Mark. Patrick's struggle with addiction and self-loathing is so heartbreaking to watch, I wish him all the very best.
I am literally Patrick, but not so honest … I need to believe we deserve love and happiness and just a feeling of peace… I’m rooting for you bro and I’m trying to learn to root for myself … hope you are well and see how much you are loved and inspiring
I'm rooting for you!!
I am also rooting for you! ❤ I’ve been there and it’s possible to get out . Love u
Sending lots of love. You can do this ❤️
No matter how many stories are told, the power of addiction is unfathomable. P please reach out to Mark so you can get into that program. 😓😓😓
LACK OF SELF LOVE=SELF HATRED
SELF HATRED=SUBSTANCE ABUSE
SUBSTANCE ABUSE=ADDICTION.
I can kind of fathom it, I'm like that with weed, just way less intense, without destroying my life, but I can imagine myself blowing cloud and saying man I love smoking weed
@@Ettyofacts yea man weed has always been in a way harmless when it comes to the world of addiction compared to your crack, your coke, ecstasy etc... but what many people don’t get is the gradual take over the drug will have over ones mind. My choice of drug was coke but man what I would give to change that to weed. 😂😂😂
Oh yeah I've purposefully always stayed away from any and all synthetic hard drugs
@@Ettyofacts man keep it that way brotha. Nothing good comes from this. You lose everything at the end of the run.
@@RileyWuzzHere for sure herb is more than enough, and is gentle♥️
Patrick you have support from all over the world! Please take care of yourself, I wonder about you often so thank you for the update...no judgement here I’m just happy your ok.
He said and seems like he’s pretty far from ok.
Very well said! I 100% agree. I wonder about him also. We love you Patrick!❤❤❤ You can do it!!
I relate to this guy so much I hate lying, I was on drugs for over a decade.
So blessed to be clean.
I can't tell you enough how much my whole being hopes patrick get's the help he deserves. i have an older family member who reminds me a lot of patrick. the most warm and almost familiar soul i have ever known but just so lost and full of self hatred that they cannot see how beautiful and full of love life can truly be. i hope the universe keeps him protected and safe in his journey
My dad was an addict for many years and his benders were similar in the way he was a functioning addict. The urge would hit and he would go missing for a few days and even a week or two. It was devastating to my family every time. He’s been clean now almost six years, it’s very possible to come out on the other side. It’s crazy because he was and is a great father and to a certain degree able to separate that part of himself from us.
Good Luck Patrick! You can do this, and you deserve to be happy and free!
God bless
And you Amanda are a great daughter 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I can't believe he didn't go home yet wow. Patrick you need to go home put the drugs down if not you're going to be stuck and never get out of there
He is just giving up. Don’t give him anymore money!!!!!! He is being manipulated by these prostitutes!!!! He needs to leave this area immediately!!!!
@@phyllysanantonio where is he from dammittt...to live n die in LA I'm assuming...got this poor boy on crack.... Not even cocaine....
You MUST KEEP AWAY FROM DRUGS.
He's a grown ass man spiralling, homeless & on streets next
He has been home. He told a story about how he was at home last night and decided to walk downtown at 4am.
Interesting in the first interview he brushed off his childhood abuse so he doesn't see the correlation. His current relationships with women (take all my money) is directly related to the abuse. Do what you want, my needs don't matter. These interviews are priceless. Great great work. Maybe you don't save all but you certainly impact most.🙏
Also in the first one, he kind of stumbled a bit getting it out, in this one it fell out unprompted. Maybe he's been reflecting on that, he seems an intelligent kind of guy who can do that, but it definitely seems to be something he's been thinking about during this binge.
U must have never done crack.. Or maybe its just the male brain... I do the exact same shit as this guy with no trauma like that in my past
mstew281z maybe both
Spot on👍
Brilliant analysis. As a victim/Survivor of sexual molestation I am thinking .... Wow!!! I definitely have issues too. God Bless everyone watching this because it is important to learn everyday ❤️🙏
He ended with "don't smoke crack" what a guy 🤘 rooting for ya. Really.
Addiction is the narrowing of the things that bring you joy.
Yup
Wow dude 100% I remember as I got deeper into a meth addiction. I didn’t enjoy doing anything anymore if I didn’t do meth before. Like anything
*prioritizing* not narrowing
I literally cried while watching this. Thank you, Patrick. I hope your life takes a turn for the better, in all my heart.
9 months clean... I wish there was a way to show him how beautiful life truly is when you choose to love yourself 😭❤️ You can do this Patrick! I want to give him a hug but what he needs is a major wake up call. He hasn’t hit rock bottom yet... Sad to see this update 😔
That's great..Put a big value on your precious time sober..Then you won't give it away..
Take care and keep safe from Dublin Ireland.,,👍☘️🇮🇪
Your videos are part of my rehab process, I attend CA meetings everyday and see a drug addiction psychologist once a month, I do sports and try to be surrounded by people who are not self destructive as me (I have been taking coke and alcohol on a weekly base for 9 years). What you say about lack of self love and being ignored/abused/not loved during childhood, is just very true. I had a very violent and depressed mother who insulted me and beat me whenever my father was not watching, that's why I do not miss anything that is related to my 0 >18 age. I live far away from the US, if we were close, I guess I really had a story to tell you too. Take care, keep doing the good work
Hes not ready to quit!
He is the most likeable guy you have interviewed. I hope he can get clean. I dont even know him but I want to be his friend. He has so much to offer this world!
Watching this brought me through such a range of emotions. This is my second time watching this . As a recovering addict I relate so much. I'm actually feeling what he's going through because I've been there. It's crazy how I can feel these emotions again after 5 years clean.
Congrats on the 5 ✊🏻
Keep keeping on . Same here
I’m a complete stranger to you Patrick. I’m certain we’ll never cross paths in this life time. But today I’m praying for a stranger, a fellow human being navigating this world. I’m praying for you to find the strength to love yourself. To find your self worth and to take back your life. Give the power back to yourself and not the addiction. God loves you Patrick and so do thousands of people who are seeing this.
I traded a brand new flat screen TV back in 2006. Those TV’s were very expensive at the time. I think the guy gave me like $500 worth of rocks.🤣
Apparently your prayers…. WORKED
He may never get better. He’s so used to getting himself out of these messes, that he banks on the ability to bounce back. At some point it becomes too late. Lots of people here and I’m sure in his everyday life root for him, and it’s because he’s smart and you guys can see his potential. Over time that list will get smaller and smaller until it’s empty. Hopefully he can figure out things before then
Well said fella. I hope you're well...
Astute comment
The only reason why Patrick is so bad is he has a wealthy father who gives him money. This evil man (the father) will be going to Hell.
@@lesliefroelich4144 His son is a grown man. Nobody is forcing him to take that drug. His dad believes that he is helping him with giving him money.
@@diewilden80er73 The father is weak and should NOT be giving any $ to someone who is going to use the $ for drugs. The father is doing something very, very wrong.
"When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change."
-Aang The Legend of Korra
Wow that's deep
The lowest point for these addicts is death, can't change after that.
Unfortunately, for addicts the lowest is not living. I watched my dad and family members get eaten up by this disease.
I'm an addict. And really been successful with recovery, this guys story brings back the feeling of being at that bottom. I sold a vehicle for my drugs. Definitely did.
Addicts are resourceful people, I feel his pain. I'm sending very good wishes to him. It's not easy nor good where he's at... It CAN happen to anybody. Much love..
Same here Brother
He's doing what he loves, regardless of the price he has to pay.
If you only listen to one piece of advice from all of these comments, take this from a former addict: get yourself into the Betty Ford center in Palm Springs. After countless rehabs, they were the ones that finally got through to me. You get what you pay for as with anything in life. They even offer “scholarships” and considering your Internet “notoriety”, you might be a good candidate.
Expensive. I don’t think he’s hit rock bottom bottom yet, but hopefully he can get a scholarship
I got clean for free. All I had to do was sit on a chair in a room with other addicts, read some books and write some stuff down.
The “best” rehab in the world isn’t get an addict sober until they want it, and even then it’s not a sure thing. It takes work, 10x more than what you did to get your fix and then some
Easier said than done.im trying to get in but i lost my i.d so ssi is closed cuz pandemic.so waiting for forms and dmv app.only lines are half mile long.its crazy
@@haramsbae1507 Congratulations!!!😎😊💖👏
Mark: self love is definitely the first and most necessary love
I am going to be praying for this man. I am writing this with hopes he sees it an knows that there is someone out there who cares for him.
He needs to hurry up and hit rock bottom so he can get into rehab. He’s charismatic, honest, and very handsome! He has such a cool life waiting for him when he’s ready to live a life not fetching drugs every single day!!
I know this bother! Can you please get me his info. I spent a year with him in Teen Challenge back in the mid 2000's.
Not sure how but please find a way to let him know that James Salazar wants to see him.
I’ve left Patrick a message. Thanks
Love this type of interaction, best to all of you
@@SoftWhiteUnderbelly please tell me Patrick went to rehab again?
Please help this guy ..
🙏🏻
This is insane. Thanks for such an open and honest account to the psyche of a serious addict.
Every one of these I watch, I find myself falling in love with the person and empathize so much for their struggles. I’ve watched so many but never commented. Patrick reminds me of so many people i care about. I see sooooo much potential in him. He seems like such a good guy despite his struggles. I want the best for him and I truly believe it’s in his cards. I pray he’ll make it happen ❤️
“He was praying I was crying and then I had my burrito”
That killed me 🤣
Crack
@@coweenuhm9662 lmfao me too! Can’t forget about the burrito
@@jrocktalks6308 i literally spit out my coffee when he said it.
Fucking hilarious
I’ve been craving a burrito ever since 🤣
I found your comment at the same he said it! The stars have aligned. ⭐⭐⭐
Goes to show that “addiction” doesn’t always look like what is portrayed by the media. He’s an all American guy with a terrible addiction. I hope he chooses sobriety, but I don’t think he’s done using.
He is a sex addict, I hope he isnt all American.
@@vonderloo3184 Well he ain’t Pakistani
@@kennethwalton2380 well its a long shot to say All American in context.
I can't believe this is the first time I've seen anything from your channel. You are doing very important work. Not only for the people you are interviewing, but also for people who find themselves in a dark place. As you said, self-love (or lack thereof) seems to be a common theme amongst people who end up in a position like Patrick. There are no doubt plenty of people who will watch this, listen to your conversation, and realize they could easily find themselves in his shoes someday. Furthermore, there are countless individuals who no doubt look at individuals like Patrick and write them off as a lost cause that is not worth helping. Your channel has the power to change these minds. Thank you.
Breaks my heart everytime i watch this channel. I see my father in ALL of these videos.
Patrick I and many others can relate to some of the struggles. Keep the faith.🙏❤️. Thank you for your honestly and your courage. Keep on keeping on.x
Addiction is just depression, manifesting as addiction. Depression usually comes from severe trauma, quite often severe childhood and generational trauma. What Mark is saying is spot on!! The core issue is self love!
The way you make accusations of "depression" seems counter productive to me.
@@gregorywright2379 I have chronic depression which I have battled for over 40 years. I’m not an addict of any sort or a drug user, but I know what I’m talking about.
Not always. I became addicted to pain pills and i had a good life. I wasn't depressed at all. Sometimes its just genetic. I just tried them one time. And it spiraled into heroin and death a few times. I'm clean now. 5 years. Thank God
I had no trauma. Had a great childhood. Never any abuse and i became a horrible addict
@@Misitheus that's awesome. Keep it up. You deserve that best life you can possibly have. I wish you the best. I would never stick that needle back in my arm. Don't even know how i ever did that. I am so grateful i feel that way. Hang in there my friend. You can do it
dark times for homie patrick-- make sure he can see these warm messages here if he wants to. ❤️❤️
Patrick’s videos are my favorite ones. Can we please get an update on him as much as possible? Thanks!
This guy is so charismatic and charming. Fingers crossed for him because whatever he does in life, he will do well as he has that charm. I have always had upmost respect for honesty. It's a very endering quality, honesty. Mark is right about the possitive vibes coming through.
“I sold my car”
Yeah that’s bad.
Eh
It could always be worse...
It will probs get way worse. Hope not, but it probs will.
Sold his car for the 4th time..🙄
Yeah. Whats also bad is his dealer rejecting his starbucks gift card, only to say "i want the car" thats fucking evil. Because he knew how deep he was into it and that he was desperate
Damn man we had such high hopes for him after the second interview praying for you Patrick you will get through this i am 14 days clean 😚😚
Keep on the right path tayvon......
You got what it takes Tayvon keep on keeping on, congrats man!
💪🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾💯💯
Congrats!
Congratulations. You got this, man! Cheering you on from the East Coast.
I appreciate this guys honesty. It helps me to be more honest about my demons. I wish Patrick a healthier life; a healthier way to love himself.
I can really appreciate Patrick's honesty. It would be interesting to get a late 2022 update on Patrick.
I was hoping for good news but unfortunately this thing has him right now. I’m sad for you Patrick but I’m not giving up on you 😞
❤
I feel everything he’s saying with my soul, around 6 months clean myself from meth and heroin.
same here brother. ill be 3 years clean come july. keep doin’ ya!
Keep it up!
Stay hard!!!
facts
Congratulations on your sobriety!
I’ve only just came across your Chanel Mark, so-easy to judge, I apologise right now for my naïveté! Watching your interviews has really opened my eyes. Thank you for opening my eyes and heart. Thank you, god bless you for your amazing work.🇬🇧
Just saw his last interview and he’s doing so much better. Mark your doing an amazing thing for him and the CZcams Community
I couldn't click fast enough when I saw an update came about Patrick but I am depressed now. I really was hoping for good news from him. You can tell he is really a good person to everyone but himself. Please keep on interviewing him.
When Mark said there’s something positive about him and didn’t pinpoint it, I think it’s his family and upbringing that set strong morals and his addiction constantly fights with that.
I keep wondering if his father mentally and verbally abused him because Patrick had to learn that somewhere. And who decided he needed to have his checks sent to his dad to pay Patrick's rent?🤔
@@marylougeorge9890 yeah I thought the same. There’s gotta be a reason he went wild as soon as he left home.
@@christmanchristine 👍
@@marylougeorge9890 maybe his dad is preventing him from wasting all his money? Not to sure guy.
@@datapatch7381 I get that his dad could be in charge of his money for his own good. My point was, does & did his father always, "rule," over him?
I so badly hope this guy gets clean and turns his life around. I would love to see a good update on him!
Your wish came true
Watching these videos makes me thankful to be where i am. I relate to patrick so much, there was no deep reason other than hating myself and there was never a reason to hate myself. This has quickly become my favorite channel on youtube. After herione crack pcp then prison for 5 years, i was clean i was content, everything was fine then one day i snoked crystal meth and what a fall. Yet here i stand 8 years clean a career and a family i never thought i deserved. I finally realize i may not ever be worth much but i am valueable and have alot to offer. Keep promoting self love thats what it takes to escape.
such a shame. was excited to click on this clip in hopes he would be clean 😔 i still have hope for him🤞🏽
I don’t feel it’s self-love per say .. once someone is addicted to something whether it be drugs, sex, gambling, etc...that first feeling of euphoria or excitement they experience is so intoxicating ... that they want that feeling again and are always chasing that feel good feeling. After they get that fix and come back to reality is when they feel guilty, sad, depressed, etc... they always talk about the first time ...it’s so memorable
If you have self love you wouldn't end up in tempting situations. You'd have a Whole Lot of other things to occupy your time. Patrick loathes himself.
Nawl its addiction
Patrick!! You are saving lives with your honesty. Sending you love and strength xo
His honesty is impressive and tragic at the same time.