How I Overcame my Cultural Identity Crisis
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- čas přidán 8. 07. 2024
- In this video, I break down the concept of culture and identity, my personal challenges growing up feeling like I was stuck between cultures, and how my realisations and the concept of intragroup marginalisation helped me acknowledge and overcome these thoughts.
Growing up in an international community in local Hong Kong, I struggled to identify with a culture my whole life. I perceived myself to be different from others because of my upbringing and ethnicity. But the reality is that cultural identity does not define your personality; it only makes it stronger. Accepting ambiguity helped me take my first steps towards acceptance, and to see my differences as a blessing. And nowadays with the world so interconnected, can you truly still be unicultural?
I hope that this video can provide comfort to others going through something similar, and hope that it resonates with some of you.
Table of Contents:
0:00 - Intro
0:31 - Growing up in Hong Kong
2:22 - Feeling stuck between cultures
3:52 - Overcoming differences
4:03 - The concept of intragroup marginalisation
5:01 - The courage to be disliked
6:15 - My personal realisations
7:10 - What even is culture?
8:47 - Outro
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A bit about myself:
Hey guys! I'm Matt, a junior doctor 👨⚕️from Hong Kong working in London in the UK. I've had so many incredible experiences as a doctor and my journey to getting where I am today and so I decided to try put them somewhere: this channel is it! I mostly post about my life as doctor but I put out educational content about things that I think I have something worth sharing, such as about studying, medical school or productivity.
Connect with me:
🐦Twitter: / mbklee_
📸 Instagram: [ / mbklee_ ]( / mbklee_ )
Resources used: Epidemic Sounds, Videvo
Tags: cultural identity crisis,overcoming cultural identity crisis,what is cultural identity,how culture affects your personality,cultural identity,studying in international school,international school,studying abroad,living in hong kong,hong kong,living in a new country,moving to a new country,cultural identity speech,cultural identity theory,cultural identity explained,cultural identity meaning,cultural identity development,cultural identity definition
I'm really glad to be able to open up and talk about my cultural differences. These videos might not appeal to everybody but I'm okay with that - I hope this resonated with some of you 😊
Thank you for this. I am full Filipino but was raised in another country. My mum raised me by herself and stopped teaching me my native language because she was always working all the time and so I could be apart of the culture I live in now. As I got older, the confusion of my cultural identity has become the biggest burden in my life. One thing that really pushed me to embrace myself was when my mum said “You don’t understand my culture” once in an argument. That phrase has kinda stayed with me throughout my life as ofc it hurt. Her culture is my culture.
Culture identity crisis is so real. I am an immigrant in Canada and my husband was born in Asia and grew up in Canada. I can see his struggle to fit in and has no sense of community. He is not included by local white people, nor he can fit in immigrants group...I really feel a sense of loss for him. That feeling of belonging to a group is really great.
My realisation part hits me. Being an ethnic minority even in my native country, I always feel alienated growing up not realizing that my doubt and the need to fit into society starts within me and that eventually affects my self-esteem. But the good thing is since I ain't a part of the majority, I learn to appreciate and accept the differences we have in society. Thank you for bring these matters into attention Matt.
Hey Andrew, thank you for this comment and for sharing. I definitely wholeheartedly agree with you. But every situation is a unique experience, and you know a lot about your culture that other people might not be able to get!
I am from India...
So, my father was a Military Personnel, So we literally had to move to a new place every 3 month because of his postings on different places...
And because of that I had to change schools & languages very often... (FYI, I can speak 3 languages fluently because of this and also know 7 more that are not really fluent)
And in schools, Whenever a teacher/student would ask "Where are you from?" I LITERALLY NEVER HAD AN ANSWER FOR THAT WHEN EVERY OTHER PERSON NEARBY KNEW "Where was he/she from...
And it was always so so embarrassing for me... I got bullied cause' of that.... And never really got to connect to a specific cultural identity.
This video was literally SO SO RELATEABLE FOR ME.
Thank you so so much for this video Matthew! ❤️❤️
You literally changed my life
🥰❤️
As a bit of a third culture kid myself, this one really resonated with me 🙌🏼 I think being between two cultures gives us a unique understanding and awareness, and allows us to objectively analyse the various elements of our cultures. This insight helps make us stronger and more unique, and if we own it, people will dig it!
Yeah I definitely think that being 'in between cultures' gives us a really unique perspective and it can feel a bit lost at times, but honestly the world is too big to ever stick to just one culture anyways 👍 glad this resonated with you Jerold!
I want to thank you greatly for sharing this. I really needed it. As a foreign student living in Korea independently from age of 18, I have been dealing with such issues for almost 5 years. Now that things seem to be getting better and better, I can say that self-discovery and contemplation along with school consultation was the cure for me.
Im 31 years old. born and raised in the greater seattle region to vietnamese parents. Cultural and the environment your surrounded in is the factor of ones self-worth in life and overall health. Hearing your story I just vibed with so well cause despite the difficulties you faced you seemed to have found a balance in your life your good with. Thank you for sharing your story.
I feel ya thanks for sharing. I’m Filipino but born and raised in Virginia. Where I live was definitely diverse but mostly identified as American Filipino. Then moved to California I real wanted to identify as Filipino American but not growing up in the Philippines or speaking language many Filipino friends said I was not a true Filipino. Which hurts, I still struggling with it and acceptance is hard thing to embrace. That’s my story, good luck.
So true! Thanks for sharing this! Cultural identity's always been a struggle for most if not all international students, and it definitely takes a lot of courage to put this all into words. Sometimes it's difficult to breakdown what is "missing", but I think you did a tremendous job. This video really helps others (me included) understand that being multi-cultural is not necessarily a bad thing, and a lot of the perceived issues that we experience is a "me" issue that can be overcome. I'm proud of my cultural identity :)
I'm really glad the video resonated with you man 😊 and thanks for the kind words!
I have had a very similar experience. Grew up in a South African household in Greece, when most of my friends were from all over the world! When I moved to the UK, I was 16 and I also felt out of place. However it all worked out, now I am studying medicine and have integrated well with my medic friends! Thanks for sharing
Thanks for sharing Dan, it's definitely really tough coming to a new community but being exposed to other cultures is really valuable and teaches you so much. Glad you're all settled in now in med school! 😊
Very insightful and thank you for extracting that nice information from the book! I am also studying abroad and this helps me to improve and settle down!
Thanks for the kind words. All the best what must be a challenging experience for you!
Very relatable video! I’m a final year medical student at Bristol. I’ve come to the same conclusion through years of reflection. It has definitely been a journey - one that I’m still on. Keep up the brilliant content!
Hey! So good to hear from a fellow Bristol medic and thanks for the kind words 😊 cultural difference was definitely something I thought about often and honestly took me a while to figure out - I guess I wanted to put something out like this to give some perspective to people who might stumble across my video. Thanks again!
Amazing video, man. Thank you!!
Thanks Dave, appreciate the kind words!
Great video, Matt! I think culture and cultural teaching is so important for medical students. It's a shame students recently haven't been able to do their elective abroad. My medical elective was spent in Malaysia with my friend who was an international student. It was such an amazing insight into his life but also I only then fully understood how different his life was before UK and how challenging it must have been for him to move to the UK for uni
I 100% agree, and thank you for sharing this in your video as well! The notion of ‘being different’ if even from a psychological standpoint can really have a huge impact... I hope our videos can encourage people to be more comfortable sharing their views and problems 😊
👏☺ this is such a heartwarming and sincere video, Doctor Matthew! Thanks for sharing this!
I’m so glad you feel that way, thanks for your kind words 😊
This should be on front page. It applies to alot of people,...especially now
Hey just want to stop by to say I'm also studying medicine in the States but grew up in Vietnam and have been struggling with this. I just imagine that there is a small group of us foreign-born doctors who are often asking these philosophical questions because we are empathetic and curious by nature. I wouldn't trade my "golden ticket" to leave Vietnam and be able to study medicine in a more resource-rich country, but it does come with this cultural identity crisis. I hope you are doing well! Thanks for sharing :)!
I can definitely relate because I have a mixed identity, but the most important identity for me is my Cambodian American identity. However, I have never felt Cambodian enough or American enough. I live in Hawaii which is pretty isolated from much of the US mainland and our community is very small. We don’t have any Cambodian cultural programs here such as learning the language or dance, so I feel there has always been that piece that has been missing in my life. I have found a language learning community in Cali that I am able to log in remotely and we occasionally have community gatherings here and there, but it would be nice if the community was larger and there were more opportunities to learn about my culture in the state I’m living in. Cultural identity is something I think about all the time, but the struggle of it is unfortunately difficult to talk about with others about and not everyone understands or can relate to it. Thank you very much for your video!
I'm from HK as well, my kindergarten, primary and secondary schools were international british schools and I had this problem when I was 16 and studying in Australia where local hk students already formed their own bubble and I was left alone. Then I switched to study A levels and uni in London and bumped into more international students. My current friends are white and asian. I still find it hard to relate to locals because of the language but I still try my best to communicate with them
Very glad I came across this. I am black white and Mexican almost perfectly even. However, I am so out of touch with the black and Mexican side that I feel alienated from my cultures. I am progressing however. Got in touch with some long lost family and they made me feel so loved and welcome that I feel obligated to learn about their culture… well my culture. So I am learning Spanish and learning about Mexican, South American culture on my own and I hope to really impress them with how much I learned and how much Interest I have in this the next time I see them.
Thank you for sharing about your experience with cultural identity crisis! I've definitely felt this in my adult life. I was born in the UK and grew up here, but over the past 15 years of my adult life I've spent time living in the US, Canada, and the Philippines and have travelled between these countries quite a lot too. I also speak Tagalog (and 2 other Filipino dialects) from living there, and it was such a huge shock for me when I moved back to the UK from travelling and living in the Philippines. Even though I've been living in the UK for almost 5 years I still don't feel like I "fit in" with the culture here, and I actually still feel more "at home" when I'm with Filipinos and immersed in the culture and language. I think often it can feel isolating when you're experiencing this cultural identity crisis - especially when you're living your life somewhere you feel like you don't fit in (although I can adapt back to my birth culture to an extent now) - and it's good to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way :)
Thanks for your kind words Ezekiel! It can be really difficult moving around and especially when you settle down in a culture but don't feel like you 'belong'. You're certainly not alone, many of us experience the same thing. It's about how you can learn from it and make it a part of your identity 😊
@@mattbklee I completely agree! And I think global migration and travel also helps - I have a lot of Filipino friends here in the UK so I still get to be a part of that community (maybe not so much right now because of the pandemic), and that definitely helps a lot too. But as you wrote, it's about learning to adapt and be flexible, and to embrace the cultural identity crisis to an extent because I think it allows you to be more open and understanding of other culture that you come in to contact with, as well as learning to grow and begin to see that we are all humans and we're in this world together :)
Bruh, the way you talked about this felt like I was hearing someone verbalize all my thoughts and insecurities. I'm a local hker, but because of a few factors (ethnically chinese parents but with canadian education/westernized culture, international school, insecurities about being bad at chinese leading me to reject trying to learn it as a child, such regrets), I never feel like I can call myself a local. I feel so disconnected, but it's not as if anyone is bullying me for it, it's a cultural separation I feel in my bones. The moment I open my mouth, you can see it on the faces of shopkeeps and fellow students that "ah, this person isn't one of us" sort of look in their eyes, subtle but very apparent to me. I want to feel like I belong to my people and culture, and it really hurts that I don't feel that way. I feel ashamed because I've lived here my whole life, so I _should_ know the languages fluently right?
The idea of being okay with my current identity is something that never crossed my mind, that maybe it's fine to be unique in this very particular international school kid culture. Something to think about.
Still though, I know now that I really need to shape up my Cantonese and Mandarin, conquer myself and my fears to reconnect with my heritage. Try to remember that the perpetual ache of alienation far outweighs the sting of embarrassment of making mistakes when conversing.
Thank you so much for making this video. It really helps organize my thoughts and understand what I'm going through.
All Hong Kongers are ethnicallly Chinese (Han) from the way I perceive it. I know some babies don’t want to hear it but they must grow up and accept basic biology.
Thanks for this. I've struggled with disconnect speaking to people of my culture as well since not knowing my language as well. Being from India but growing up my whole life in the U.S. I only really know english, and face disappointment when I speak my broken mother tongue to people of my race. Etiher way I also plan to get better at my language in the near future if I ever move back.
@@AninomousUser all good brother. 👍 it's all a process. It's been a year since I commented this and I have to say, I've made progress. I speak better than before, and recently have been going to more local events to help reconnect. Not yet where I want to be, but I'm getting there. One step at a time and we'll make it.
Thanks for sharing this ,Matt. As a kid who moved out of my city at 18 and has never really moved back in , I am glad to know that I am not alone in the challenges I face . I wonder if medical school + moving out of home is a powerful contributor ? I find the same traits among my friends who moved out of their homes for med school too.
This is such a good video
Hey Matthew, thanks so much for sharing this video. I am a British Born Chinese and I have struggled with this problem for many years. I have never found a video that resonates this much with me personally, especially since I will also be a junior doctor later this year and I feel an added pressure to be be perfect on top of all of this. Thank you for sharing your advice on how to overcome these thoughts and emotions! All the best for future content on your channel and in your career.
Hey there, thank you so much for your kind words and I'm so glad this resonated with you! Honestly this is something that I'd been thinking about for a while and I'm glad that we're able to come out and talk about it now. All the best when you start work as a junior doctor and hope to hear from you at some point again :)
I'm a BBC and spent part of my childhood in HK, but now based in Singapore. I still ask these questions and wonder what my children will think - are they HKers? British? Singaporean? It feels like we don't belong anywhere.
Great video
Another interesting and thought provoking video. I have always felt a bit displaced. I put it like this Born in England brought up pure Irish but as we were protestant that meant not being the same as other Irish kids which there were a lot back in the 70's. Don't want to get into a long history lesson but protestants in (southern Ireland) make up less than 3% of the population. struggle with feels of not being understood in the UK or fully accepted in Ireland a sort of should live on the Isle of man or on a ferry that never landed at Dun Laoghaire or at Holyhead.
Thanks Robert for sharing your story as well. It can be difficult if we don't have a sense of belonging but I wanted this video to show that it's OK too and in many ways, a good thing!
Inspiring video!
Talking about doubts, can I get an advice, Dr Matthew?
I am also a young asian doctor planning to work in UK.
But i have a kind of anxiety with my short height which is 5’5” (165cm). I think you are a bit taller.
I sometimes have a worry whether big difference of heights with colleagues might bring disadvantages to my career in a Western country.
Meanwhile, I can see you look healthy, vibrant, radiant and virtuous, carrying so much confidence making racial/height difference faded away.
May I know how much time you give for exercises/sports to look healthy like this and did you need to overcome similar issue like mine?
I’m about the same height as you and partly grew up in the UK, originally hailing from mainland China. One thing I’ve learnt and learning is that you’ve got to love yourself and others not for your or their physicality, but what’s inside. The spirit and genuine kindness, that’s what really matters.
I moved the other way, from UK to HK for medical school. I can tell you it's worse, the environment, standard of living are way better in the UK. Free feel to check out the book 'Watching the English', at least they are civilised and polite.
Feeling the same, I lived in 5 countries in Europe and Asia. Most of my identity development was in both the UK and Europe.
Btw, I'm also in London if you want to grab a pint!
Also, could you link the resources you mentioned? Thanks 😊
Are you really from hong kong? You speak perfect English! You seem like someone growing up in an English speaking country
I don’t agree that you’re moulded just by the community you’re in. If your family has a strong cultural identity and that is in your home environment, it stays with you wherever you are and wherever you go. Environment influences people but only to the degree that they are connected or disconnected with their culture.
I've always wanted to take DNA test to see what my roots really are, But yeah I've been dealing with cultural crisis
🇭🇰🇬🇧✅
Represent!!
And this is why mainland China has to absorb Hong Kong. The sheer existence of HK creates this unnecessary identity crisis so when its time to pick sides (which the west WILL force you to do in some small form or fashion) you are left unsure of what to do. Take the individualist approach or the collectivist one .
Why do people care about having a cultural identity?
The need to feel a sense of belongingness is at the core of human existence. It’s innate and can’t be ignored not matter how much you try to ignore it. It can affects your self esteem and confidence.