Found out I was ADOPTED from Ancestry DNA test (Adoption Journey + Mini Life Update)
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 12. 07. 2020
- #StoryTime #Adopted #ancestrydna
I recently found out that I was adopted and the truth came out after I took an Ancestry DNA test! I struggled with my identity and background growing up simply because certain factors of my life didn't add up and the truth was being kept from me.. If you have 20 minutes of your time to spare.. this video will shed light on my journey to accepting my truth and closing this chapter of my life. I hope this video can help someone else who might be facing similar struggles that I did đ
If youâre interested in taking an Ancestry DNA test, my referral link is below & youâll also save 15% your kit: refer.ancestry.com/M00027?sha...
I bought an ancestry test several years ago and never took it because it disappeared. I am 99% sure my mom threw it out when she was visiting me. I had it in a drawer in the guest room and then it was gone. Another relative took an ancestry test and i was talking to her about it and my mom made it very clear to me that she doesnât understand why people take those tests. I bought another one and finally got the courage to mail it in a few weeks ago. I am waiting for my results. My family is white. I look mixed race. Almost everyone that meets me assumes I am black, but that does not make sense at all. I donât know what I am going to see - either my life is a lie or I am actually what I grew up believing but weirdly look biracial. I need to know what I am. I donât really need the back story, but I need to know what I am.
Sending hugs your way đ I hope you find the answers youâre looking for! Remember to keep an open mind about everything because you never know what youâre going to see. I wish somebody wouldâve told me the same thing before I read my results because I was knocked off my feet.. I wasnât mentally prepared for what I saw. Wishing you the best! Keep me updated with your journey xoxo
@@causehoneysaidso6335 I got the results. I expected to see 99% ashkenazi Jewish which is what my dadâs cousin got. I got 51% Eastern European Jewish but then a lot of African. I guess it makes sense given the fact that I look biracial (and apparently about 40% black) but I donât really know what to think.
@@TheLauren1113 Your reaction definitely sounds a lot like mine was.. I know itâs a lot to process but you deserved to know your truth. The hardest part in my journey was feeling like the more answers I got led me to more unanswered questions & because Iâm a naturally curious individual I had to see it through (seek more answers) to make things make sense. Everyone is different though.. give yourself time to take this all in.. then afterwards, if you still feel like you want to know where/who your African percentage is coming from.. talk to your parents & let them know about your results or reach out to your dna matches on ancestry. Just know you are not alone! Sending love & hugs your way đ
@@causehoneysaidso6335 I found an NPE group on Facebook and In processing it. I grew up white but never fully passed and spent more than 40 years trying to explain away the blackness most people saw. Now I have to think about what that means and where to go from here. And I have to talk to my mother which will not be easy. Who my bio father is feels like the least important thing.
@@TheLauren1113, good luck and blessings to you. I was adopted as an infant, raised by my two adoptive AA parents, and am biracial. I understand much of what you both are going through. Different for me was that my parents told me I was adopted pretty early on. I am blessed to have had such good parents who raised me, yet some adoptees still have a yearning to know who and where they came from...which is why I took the Ancestry DNA test, too. Still do not know...we shall see.
I wish you both well on your journey!
I found out at 23 that I was lied to about who my biological Dad was. It hurt that everyone including brother in laws knew but not me. Had a rough childhood, after I found out it all made sense. I have worked out most of my trust issues. It was hard and painful. I didnât work it out in time to save my marriage unfortunately. Thank you for sharing your story. There are a lot of us out here.
Iâve been telling everyone do not get on Ancestry unless you are prepared for the possibility of all the bones falling out the closet. My family lied to me about my adoption until both my parents were deceased. Like you I always suspected but no one would tell me. I found out on Ancestry at 49... last year on Easter...itâs a been a very painful experience like no other. I found out I was the only one given away.... my bio mom married, had 3 other kids and never told them as if I never existed. She still doesnât want anyone to know. Iâm trying to move on. Good luck to you on your journey.
I tell people the EXACT same thing because people may lie but dna doesnât! The truth will definitely come out! I hate to hear that about your family though! Itâs her loss, not yours đ sending hugs your way
@@causehoneysaidso6335 Aww thank you so much... and right... the dna doesnât lie.
You biomom isnât going g to have much choice if one of your siblings decides to do DNA testing. That skeleton is going to fall out of that closet!
â@Misti Reisz I agree I feel like I'm sitting on Pandora box. My bio met me in 2006 was all welcoming then emailed say dont get in touch again. Just seen her on fb I knew I had younger brothers. I'm 49 now just pondering what to do. I dont want to upset her and then her sons ask y she didn't tell us or them blaming me for getting in touch. Such a hard decision.
I just found out I was Adopted at 21 years old . I found my whole bio family within 2 months . I also had trouble with my identity my whole my life I never was told the truth I was even teased by my sister that I was adopted. I still donât know how to feel about the whole thing . My mom denied for years!! Everyone around me lied to me everyone around me knew . I have so many siblings ! They were all looking for me
It's mind-boggling to me that people still keep adoption a secret! I can't imagine how shocking it would be to find out as an adult. Wow.
What was your mom's fear about letting you know?
I 100% believe in open adoption. Letting a child know from as soon as they can understand that they are adopted and have contact with birth family if they are willing and if they are safe people. On the other hand, I can totally understand why someone might want to hide their child's adoption. What seems to me what often happens, is that initially the child while young bonds well enough with their adoptive parents assuming that they are reasonably sane and normal parents but when the child hits the teenage years when a large enough percentage of teenagers are temporarily alienated from their parents, they blame it on being adopted. They have unrealistic fantasies about who their birth parents are and blame all of their troubles on adoption. Typically biological children will out grow this phase and start to become somewhat closer with their parents again while there is a danger that adopted children will end up in some kind of limbo where they never really work this out. An adopted parent might be afraid of this type of thing that happens so frequently. Can you imagine loving a child and giving so much of yourself, and then some kind of an alienation and rejection and the idealization of a stranger just because they were adopted? At some level it makes sense to me why someone would be tempted to hide this and I am sure in the past a majority of adopted children were raised and then died never knowing the truth of their origins.
An open adoption, on the other hand, lets the child realize not only where they came from but prevents any unrealistic fantasies about their birth parents from developing and allows better bonding with the adoptive parents and any appropriate bonding with the birth family if they are interested.
Hi
I'm happy my aunt Nancy was very honest about this info for my cousin Andrea she was very kind to mention it but not to make it an horrible ordeal to my cousin andrea, not a lot of people do that
Sadly, it appears your parents was going to take this secret to the grave. Your parents was better off telling you the truth, when you asked.
2
Might as well
This really gave me so much hope. I just found out Iâm adopted at 30 years old and Iâm about to do an Ancestry DNA kit and I am so nervous. Iâm so glad you were able to find some missing pieces â€ïž
Thank you for watching love. Iâm sending hugs your way! Iâm claiming you get the answers youâre looking for on your journey đâš wishing you and yours the best.
@@causehoneysaidso6335 Thank you so much ! âš
@@MissDeeGlow - That is shocking. How sad that your mother couldn't be honestvwith you.
Itâs a podcast and social media platform called black to the beginning. The creators are both late discoveries. It may help to find and join support groups, itâs a lot process.
Girl you rocked that DNA test! Youâre more Red, White & Blue than any of these online tests Iâve seen. Not only are you of European and African descent, but you scored youâre American ancestors also. You are indeed what America is all about. Congratulations and enjoy your newly found family along with your caring adoptive family.
I have this saying I heard a very long time ago... âThe Universe is unfolding as it should.â You are articulate, smart, and gorgeous. Obviously, the family with whom you grew up did an amazing job with you. And now you have 13 new siblings? Life is stranger than fiction!
In my day, many decades ago, the advice to adoptive parents was to tell the child, as soon as they could take it in, how special they were and how they were CHOSEN.
Oh I feel you so much right now. I too found out last summer that I was adopted. But Iâm three times your age. When I was adopted adoption was a dirty word, which is why my parents never told me. I am an only child, so I didnât have feelings of not fitting in at the time. Although as an adult I never really felt like I fit in with my extended family for many reasons: Fast forward to five years ago when I did my DNA test I just didnât recognize any of the names. The ethnicity seemed normal At the time. Last spring someone contacted me asking if they were related to my uncle, but we couldnât find each other in our DNA. When I asked the family member about it she lied to me. Only the next day did my extended family get me on zoom and tell me the truth. They knew all along. Within three days a search angel who helped me along the way had found my biological family on both sides. I too have just as many have siblings out there as you. I hope the rest of your journey is very fulfilling and peaceful
You are such a sweet, beautiful young lady. Iâm so happy you received some closure. Itâs a lot to process, but you are handling it with such grace and composure. I wish you a lifetime of happiness. đ I took a test to check for Native American dna because of old family stories (none found). What I discovered - at age 59 - was that my father was not my father, and that I had 7 more siblings. It took a lot of frustration and tears for my mother to admit the truth. I honestly struggle with the knowledge that she intended to go to the grave without revealing this to me. Some of my medical issues are from my father, so now I can address them knowing where they come from. Even as a kid, I felt different from my siblings. I joked many times about being adopted, but I look so much like my mother. Now I know where the differences come from, and Iâm lucky that I found my father and siblings. Iâm just sad that I missed out on 50+ years of being with him, especially knowing he tried to find me many times over the years. Parents, just be truthful to your kids. đđŒđ
Thank you so much for your kind words & for sharing your story đ Iâm glad you were reunited with your father & siblings. Wishing you & your family well!
Found my formerly childless 70 yr old uncle a 37 yr old daughter he never knew existed!! But to make it even more wild, we all grew up in the same NYC neighborhood!! Her bio mom lied to her about her bio dads real identity and gave her fake name, so she was unable to find him any other way, so ancestry DNA was her last hope. At the time of her conception, her mom and my uncle were heavy drinkers and it was only a one night stand, neither even remember the night she was conceived! Her bio mom chose to withhold that she was pregnant from my uncle, because I donât even think she remembered who she was slept with honestly. She hid it from everyone and opted to give the child up. She actually did that multiple times in her life, had 11 kids only kept 4... My uncle would have never agreed to put her up for adoption, our family would have helped him and made sure to keep her and raise her in our family. However, this baby was adopted by a wonderful couple who also lived in the same neighborhood. She was loved and for that we will always be grateful for her having the best upbringing! Iâve know her forever, not well because sheâs younger than I am, so we ran in different crowds. But Iâve seen her in the neighborhood and mingled with her at all the neighborhood parties and events our whole lives. She was good friends with a friend of mines younger sister!! She and her dad must have passed each other in the street thousands of times before he moved to Florida! This development occurred and I connected them about 3 years ago and theyâve developed a bond and love one another like no time passed at all. â„ïž
Edited to add: weâre a white family (Irish, Scottish, German) and she grew up being told sheâs Cubans and was raised by a Puerto Rican couple. Yet, sheâs taller than everyone in her moms bio family and she has freckles, the same freckles as I do, same as all our cousins actually! We all have them all over our back and shoulders. Itâs crazy! She always assumed she had Irish in her. And now she knows she was always right â„ïž
Oh wow, thatâs jaw-dropping but what a beautiful ending!! đ They are both lucky to have had you in their lives to help them piece it all together. I know exactly what thatâs like to be lied to about someone else being your dad so I can imagine how she struggled finding out the truth about that.. Iâm glad she was able to find âher truthâ & your uncle as well, after all those years of not even knowing. Thank you for watching & for sharing your familyâs storyâš
I had to comment here. I'm a parent of two kids adopted through the foster care system. Thank you for sharing your story. We take a different approach with telling the kids. We don't have the option of withholding the adoption fact from the kids as we are a two dad family. That being said, personally I think age appropriate honesty is the way to go so that there are not lingering questions or surprises later in life. With these DNA tests, the truth always comes out sooner or later. Thanks again for sharing your story and best of luck to you and your lovely family.
this is why i told my adopted daughter she was adopted. My ex-wife didn't want to tell her...
Good job, dad. Being honest is so important.
Easier for dad harder for mom.
@@charlesfern3065 no it's not..
I donât like that it still happens, thereâs nothing wrong with adopting a child and letting them know their truth. These kids didnât ask to be here, but at the same time they need to know who they are and where they come from. I went through a similar situation about my paternity growing up, parents lying to me about my identity. I have 3 more siblings now which is wonderful and all. The identity crisis is something serious, I too asked if I was adopted a few times. Parents should be honest.
I gave a daughter up for adoption in 1988, but it was an open adoption, I picked her parents, and she knew this from when she was 4 yrs old. Don't know why some parents won't tell their kids the truth. Adoption isn't something to be ashamed about. Adoptees know they are loved and wanted, because their parents had to do so much to get their kids.
So true. No one should grow up not knowung how they came into the world. Secrets and lies hurt more than the truth because the truth always comes out eventually and then it is hard to forgive those who lied to you even with the best of intentions. Every person has a right to know where they come from and who their parents were.
This is really the best way to do it
Because children are different. It works for some. But some kids really struggle mentally if they know.Especially if the couple who adopts already have biological kids or if the parents are white and the kid is colored. I seen many mental issues and struggles in those who clearly knew cause of different races. Of course not all! Children are different and they cope differently.
I am a birth mom and consider placing the intended parents are the same race. Unfortunately birth mom s are promised open then it closes(the sad truth agencies do not tell)
@@inspirationalshanae5129 I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. I was able to keep in contact with the adoptive parents throughout her childhood, and when I asked for pics of her childhood for my grandmother, she sent a bunch of photos. I also saw that she showed up on my Ancestry DNA and I sent a message to her to tell her that she can ask me anything if she has questions about her ancestry or about me.
Wow, that is deep. 13+ possible siblings! That is craziness. I hope you have a post-COVID reunion and get to meet all of them.
People assume we automatically accepted by our black side and that's just not true or you never would have felt out of place. Live your truth my biracial sister
Yesss exactly, itâs definitely a silent struggle. Thank you so much for watching & your kind words đ
đŻ. Thank you.
That's right â€â€â€đđŒđđŒđđŒ
@@causehoneysaidso6335 awesome video..and you were spot on. Biracial people have better luck being with other biracial people.
So honestly... I'd say you and the very darkest person are both "black". So I accept you as "black" and black people accept you as "white" - how weird is that. I would genuinely be very proud to know you if we're a DNA match! You can figure out pretty quickly if we are because... you know... I'm Jane Atwell's third great-granddaughter, Christine. You'll figure out who I am by my tree - Jane was born in 1825 in Brutus, Cayuga County, New York. She married Hopkins Robinson, who was born in 1815 in Brutus. đ
Your intuition guided you to seek truth and now you have some you have decided to share and help others - beautiful.
You're so emotionally intelligent, even having such life-changing information in a short space of time.
The way you spoke without blame but with gratitude and acknowledgememt of the mother, who raised you in love - seems like she did a great job.
May you continue in your journey with love and grace. God bless.
Wow thank you so much for these kind words and for taking time to listen to my story đâš
You're welcome đ
You were specially chosen by your parents. Itâs a good thing!
I think the most problematic part about not telling your child about their adoption is health problems. You always thought that you could have the same health problems as your parents, but since the truth was hidden from you, now you have a whole investigation to do.
Iâm happy you found out the truth especially since you always questioned it, you deserved that. I just did my DNA test too and I couldnât imagine getting those shocking results.
Thank you so much love & I just checked out your results video đ
Thanks for sharing your journey. The day you filmed this video was 4 days after my husband found out that his ex-wife's youngest daughter, whom we have known her whole life, is also his daughter. We have suspected it for many years, but thanks to Ancestry DNA, we now know for sure. She knew that she had a half-brother and what she was told her whole life was two half-sisters. She now knows her two sisters are full blooded and has a new half-sister and a second half-brother. Instead of being the youngest child of 4, she is now the middle child of 6! Best of all, she has a dad and step-mom now and my husband instantly doubled the number of his grandkids to 8 all in one day!
Oh wow thatâs incredible!! Congrats to you & your family đ thank you for watching & for sharing your story with me!
My dear, I think that some things happens when we are truly ready for them, yes, it would be great and nice to have had validation when we were younger, but [at least in my experience and knowing how I was when I was younger] timing is (in some cases) perfect...
You have this wisdom in you now, but you might not have had it when you were younger, you could have gone bitter (like in some stories we hear, as it might not have been the perfect time for them), but hearing your reaction (and I feel you're holding up to much pain), in this video it tells me that what ever you went through, it has made you an empathetic and great human being, keep that positivity, the world needs that!
My mom went through that. Ppl used to think she was Latina. She grew up Black and all of her siblings are Black. Walks around as a proud Black women. Fast forward 50 years later. Sheâs only 32% Black after taking an Ancestry test. She's mostly Lebanese and Scottish. We couldn't believe it. My siblings and I always get asked what are we? I can't stand it. Literally arguing with ppl about being Black. Waiting to feel better about.
I know exactly what thatâs like.. People used to assume I was Hispanic too. Iâm a proud black woman as well but I hate when I get the side-eye by another sister who happens to be darker than me.. like they are the âgatekeeperâ of being black. Itâs heartbreaking at times. Sending hugs your way đ
Your lovely and obviously loved so much. Some times adoptive parents are scared to tell, for the fear of losing you. Just something to think about.
Good for you for making this video for yourself no matter what others say. I got my Ancestry results in May 2019 and found out I was lied to as well. My mom will not confirm or explain so Iâm struggling with finding closure. There is no reason to lie to your children especially as they become adults. Hearing your story was so comforting. Thanks for sharing.đ
Thank you so much love đ I hope you eventually receive the answers & closure you need as well one day. We all deserve to know our truth. Sending love & hugs your way xoxo
@@causehoneysaidso6335 Thanks so much. đ
Thank you for sharing, thereâs a lot of support groups for adoptees. If youâre having a hard time processing things, it helps a lot. Wishing you best moving forward. đ€
Thanks so much for sharing. I found out I was adopted at age 16 but was not allowed to ever talk about it or ask any questions. I am now 55 (both adopted parents died in 2018), and you have encouraged me to do an Ancestry DNA Test to see if I have any matches. Heck, if nothing else it can protect me from dating relatives - lol. No seriously, thanks. At this age, it is definitely gonna be a very scary journey for me. Thanks for your boldness.
This warmed my heart to read đ thank you so much for watching & sharing your story with me! I pray you get the answers youâre looking for & that youâre able to get connected with your biological relatives! I have a link posted above in the description box under the video where youâll automatically save 15% off your kit. Keep me updated with your journey đ wishing you the best!
@@causehoneysaidso6335 I'm not too computer savvy and don't see the link for the 15% off. Please help.
No problem, here it is: refer.ancestry.com/M0009
I hope you lffound treasures of knowledge and connections
@@elizabethh9935 Just received and sent off my dna test kit today - YIKES!!!
What a story! Thank you so much for sharing it. Youâre such a great speaker/storyteller. Iâm so sorry that your adoption was kept from you for so long. It definitely sounds like deep down, you sorta knew, or at least really suspected. I think a lot of people can have that intuitive feeling and not always know why at first. You seem to be very emotionally healthy though. Like, the way youâre dealing with it and the fact that you donât harbor resentment towards your parents for not being upfront with you until recently. I think a lot of people (including myself!) could learn from the way youâre dealing with such a life changing thing. So, major props! :)
Iâm speechless, this was worded so beautifully đ thank you so much love for your kind words and for taking your time to hear my story xoxo
Thank you for sharing your story, happy you found out the truth â€ïž
Thank you for sharing. I too was adopted and just submitted my dna kit! I hope to be as blessed as you and find my family! â€
I came across this, after having a conversation with my family. I said that to say this: I was also adopted, I didnât find out until I was around 9 or 10. But you are so strong to share this and I admire you for that.
The reason Iâm checking out reviews on this , is because I get questioned about my ethnicity a lot. Thank you for your strength.
Your adopted mom loves you more than you know. I can tell.
True, her mother never saw her as adopted.
Yes, because her daughter turned out so well, I have a feeling that the mom is a great woman. No one is perfect but for the daughter to turn out so well the mom must have loved her much and cared for her well.
I found out in March 2020 I'm about 40-50% Ashkenazi Jewish with maybe a little Nigerian/North African in there. :-) In the past year I've read about and met a lot of people like us with DNA surprises. It's been very emotional but also lots of good discoveries too.
I was shocked when I discovered that I also have Ashkenazi Jewish heritage and dna from the Levant.
You are such a mature and amazing young woman. Your child (children) are blessed to gain your resilience and attitude. God bless you.
Thanks for sharing. I've been through a similar process. The pain does fade over time. And it's better to know the truth of who you are.
Thank you so much & I agree 100% đ
I'm so happy for you. I was adopted too when I was 9. I was in the Foster Care System when I was 5. My dad was 19 and my mom was 22 when they had me. They lived in the projects in Cincinnati and my dad couldn't handle it all so I was put on WIC and then my mom put me in the system.
So long story short, after 40 years, I reconnected with my dad through AncestryDNA matching my aunt, his sister. I didn't know it at the time. Then I uploaded my raw DNA to FamilyTreeDna and matched with my 1st cousin who exchanged emails with me. He passed those emails to his mom, who is my aunt also and she passed it to one of my uncles and I was able to reconnect with my dad on the phone.
I visited him in August 22 and stayed a week there. Just bonded with him. As you said, time passed so we can't get that back but we have today.
So I'm happy for you. Everyone should know their history and who they are. It gives peace of mind to know these things no matter what direction it leads to. Thank you for this video. It will help many going through the same thing and give them hope.
Curtis Williams Thank you for watching and also sharing your story! Itâs hard finding people who understand or who have been in similar situations but you definitely get it! Iâm glad you were able to locate your dad using ancestry as well & I hope you and his bond continue to flourish. Thank you again đ
@@causehoneysaidso6335 Found out I had a half aunt and first cousin I never heard of. There were actually two half aunts but one had recently died and it was her daughter that got tested. The two half aunts had different mothers in two different states. Given my Grandfather's lifestyle and his way of making a living,it was not a huge surprise,but it sure affected them,especially the aunt who was my GF's daughter.
At first the DNA Matches were exactly in order of first cousin,second cousin,etc of a few pages of those cousins I grew up with. Then all of a sudden at the top of the list Polish names,then French and Irish names started to appear. We figured out how they were related and on what side but not sure which of the brothers was the father-although at least 3 of 4 brothers were most likely,with my GF most likely
Happy you found your truth! Iâm going to check out some of your other videos
I was recently matched to a man who was adopted. He's my mother's biological cousin. I have come to the realization he was conceived in an affair. His biological father is my relative. This is why people shouldn't lie. Truth always comes out. He knew he was adopted and that's why he was searching for family. He was adopted in 1964, he's spent years trying to find out where he came from. I felt really bad. Everyone deserves to know where they came from. My mom called her entire family everyone is a bit shocked. But we want to meet him.
Yes, I agree 100%! The truth will ALWAYS come out! Thank you for sharing that and thatâs very kind of you all to want to meet him đ Iâm sure that means a lot to him.
@@causehoneysaidso6335 he got lucky. My grandma on my mom's side was the only one whos not italian. It was easy with his dna to pinpoint exactly who he was related through. Otherwise there's be a much bigger list. But through the dna analysis he can only be related from my grandma on my mom's side.
Such a lovely young woman. Be proud of yourself seeking the answers to your questions. I hope you were loved and well cared for. I hope you can learn all you can and be at peace with the answers. Your story is not over - you are so optimistic it will be a good future. Best wishes in your journey.
Aw thank you so much for your kind words đđ
Whatever you lineage is, you are who you are. Embrace her. That is all there is. The heritage is informative, but it doesnât change yourself. Whoever raised you is that person no matter what. Everyone should know the truth. Not knowing is what messes everything up. Finding out that things are not what you think you know is what is disruptive. Thank you for sharing your experience
Iâm definitely always going to be ME, regardless of my dna so yes youâre completely right but everyone deserves to know their âTRUTHâ.. especially when it has conflicted majority of their life, like myself. Thanks for watching & for your kind wordsâš
I love these videos! Love from New Zealand †im waiting for my Ancestry DNA test to arrive atm. So exciting đ
Two years ago I found out my dad wasn't the Mexican man who raised me , it was a black man that my mom "can't seem to remember" .
We had stopped talking long before that , but to get that Info from a dna test, it kind of shattered me , it took a while for it to kick in what I had just learned .
I'm sorry you've had to search for answers for so long. God bless you for exploring and making connections.
You are young and have wisdom. Blessings as you move forward.đ
Such a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing â€ïž
Thank you so much đ
Whoever they were made a beautiful child. I'm old enough to be your great-grandmother so I can say that and not creep you out I hope.
Lol thank you so much!
Thank you for sharing, appreciate your transparency and courage. I am an adoptee as well, mixed race Black woman too. I am much older than you and always knew I was adopted, but still...there are issues to process regarding identity when adopted AND being mixed race. I am just now doing "my work"...so, even though you found out later, is not "too late". You are a beautiful young woman with a good head on your shoulders and intuition. ~Peace and blessings :-)
Thank you so much đ
My wife just did dna test and found out that she has a 1st cousin that she never knew about. Turns out he was adopted because her aunt was still in high school. So she is in a place where 48 years later the secret is out.
The same thing happened to me. I found out that I have an extra cousin, my oldest. My aunt gave birth at a home for unwed mothers and gave the child up for adoption. I was totally shocked because my grandmother, probably the woman that loved me the most and spoiled me the most in life, absolute unconditional love, was willing in 1948, to have her first grandchild adopted. I know my grandmother was poor and already widowed and times were different then but it is hard to come to terms with what happened. Also, the children of my new cousin's biological father seemed thrilled to know about him even though their father was the already married scoundrel that got my aunt pregnant. On the other hand, my cousins, the dummies, seem to have little interest in their new biological half sibling. I don't understand it. After seeing photos of him, it is undeniable he looks just like my aunt and some of her children.
Thank you for sharing your story. I was adopted too and but I knew I was adopted at a young age. it does weight heavily on your mind about identity. I found most of my siblings but not my dad and I did take a dna test and I had alot of cousin but limited connection. I hope you find more about your family.
Congratulations! So it looks like you have at least 13 siblings if not more! Wow! You are a lovely woman and your adoptive parents did a good job. I hope everything works out well for you.đž
Your video came up in my list. This is a lot to process. You are bright and beautiful and I hope that you are well. There was probably much more that came up and I hope that you were able to be supported through those things as well. .
For the most part, people make the best decision that they can at the time. That doesnât mean it is the right decision, but the best that they could make at the time.
God Bless you.
Iâm so proud of you !!!â„ïžâ„ïžâ„ïžđđ
Thank you bestie đâš
You are such a sweet young lady. Always be that way. Bless you and your family.
I found out when I was 16. Punch to the stomach and spirit...I feel you.
Omgosh. My heart goes out to you. Iâve adopted a child with autism who has many siblings.
You are so beautiful and smart. I would love to call you family.
âźïžâ€ïž-Kirsten
Aw this just made my heart smile đâš thank you for watching & for your kind words.
Wow, I have two biological daughters, one with moderately severe autism. I am really touched to hear you adopted an autistic child. That makes me truly feel happy that you value our children enough to make one your own. I adopted too, but mine were 3 older Russian boys, ages 7, 9 and 12. I don't know what the heck I was thinking at the time but I'm glad that I did go through that phase of temporary insanity and took on what I did because in the end I survived and it has turned out quite well. I am proud of my boys.
Omg! I was in foster care my whole life! You hit me when you said you were waiting for your results and watching videos on people's results. Lmao! I am doing the same thing right now. I am not sure how I am going to feel. Some told me don't go searching but I need more information on my identity. Thanks for this video⣠This is helpful.
Aw thank you so much for watching love đ If no one else tells you, Iâm proud of you! You deserve the answers youâre seeking and I hope you get them! Xoxo keep me updated with your findings.
At this point of my life NOTHING can surprise me! Nothing new that I can find out will tear me down Iâm cured from scary lies and surprises!
Youâre so beautiful. Glad you found out who you are and you can feel whole and learn about everything.
Aw thank you so much love đ
I would really love to see a update on where you are now with finding your family
Yes, your parents should have informed you. While it was not the right thing, some parents believe that knowing may cause irreversible harm (i.e., questions of self worth, biological parent involvement and possible rejection, fear, extensive counseling, âwhat-ifâ questions etc.) . The longer they wait, the harder it becomes.
It appears that they did a great job. Youâre kind, beautiful, and have a family of your own. Please take care of yourself and embrace the power of forgiveness. Itâs hard, and may sound counterintuitive, but it will help you heal and become a stronger woman . Thanks for sharing.â„ïž
Youâre too kind đ thank you so much.
Your a beautiful person. Thank you for posting your story.
Bless you and your family's.
This is an amazing story.
kids are kids but when you went home your mom and dad loved you. the proof is every boo boo that was kissed and every moment they clapped for you, every hug and kiss they gave you and every time they fought for you. thats family adopted or not. you should hold your head high knowing you are loved and be proud of your family name.
Give your mom some grace. As you said she will always be your mom, she loves you and took great care of you. I try to imagine the pressure she was under keeping that secret for all these years. Good luck.
I can't imagine how you feel from learning this information. I believe your parents should have told you, but I can see why they kept that from you as well. I believe everything happens for a reason and I hope this helps you. đđœ
I agree 100% & Thank you so much!!
I am a foster kid 76 years old, what you just described is called . the ATOM BOMB!!!!
I hope you are processing your news well and that you are finding benefit from connecting with newly found family. As parents we do what we feel is best at the time, coming from a place of love, because we don't want our child to hurt in any way. We don't always realize that certain decisions are going to cause hurt regardless. I thought I knew everyone in my family, but I have found a few new first and second cousins. Some stories aren't mine to tell and those curious should take the test, knowing it doesn't always reveal the expected. There is a site called GED match that can connect you to others who have taken the test through a different company. Take care!!
Ancestry revelation isnât always with a happy revelation.
You are still a â Beautiful Youâ!!!
I really feel for your testimony very sad and same time an eyes opener. I pray God to continue to give you strength and heart to forgive and move on in life.
I'm so glad your mother finally told you the truth about your birth parents. Also that you remembered playing with 2 other little girls when you were so younger, finding out that they are your sisters in a way is sad but also has to believing that you knew those girls were very special to you.
Do you no what state you were born in because your story sounds so familiar and I grew up with some people with a similar sounding story. I know there were 9 kids total and atleast 3 here have reconnected with each other but they still havenât found the others because they were sent state to state. Might not have anything to do with you but it just sounds so similar. And good luck on this new journey â€ïž
It definitely could be! Its a small world lol but Miami đ and thank you love. Although its not the ending I expected, Iâm just glad I got the answers I needed.
I am in the exact same position. Iâm a lot older than you but Iâm adopted. I going to try this dna testing mostly to find out my health issues and if it reveals anyone who is related to me, well that will be good. But my mom and dad that raised me will always and forever be my parents. And Iâm thankful to The Lord for them.
Glad you found your biological fam. Don't be too disappointed at your mom. She did what she thought was right at that time. But I understand you just wanted answers. If you have family members that don't understand what you needed in finding out your identity, shame on them!
I couldnât imagine separating siblings. All your feelings was valid Iâm happy you followed your gut.
I hope you found the answers that you needed I am currently doing my husband he is adopted as I was ... I found 8 sibling (1/2) 7 of them knew about me ( I knew I had 1) now we will see what we find on his .... thank u for sharing
I have known I was adopted my WHOLE life when I was a kid I had REDDER hair. everyone in my family has dark hair. PLUS I was told so.
I am happy for you that you took the first step in finding out who you are. Our family has been shocked in some of our ancestry as well. We found out that we are descendants of famous people from history and obviously part of a coverup to protect the historical lie. This is very common in our community (African) especially (hiding that you are mixed with European). You are beautiful and you have a great personality that will take you far. Just be yourself and now that you know who you are, embrace all that you know regardless whether it was blood or not. Hopefully all was good regardless.
Whatâs hilarious is she is clearly mixed raceâŠhow can they hide that from her? Black subsaharan look nothing like her. People are. It well educated on what black features are. She is light skin, small facial features, and loose textured hairâŠthose are not black features.
I wish parents would let their kids know they were adopted when they are tiny.
Totally agree because then it's not a big deal, you just accept it, but if you find out when you are older it can destroy your trust in people forever as your whole childhood is a lie.
She reminds me of Alicia Keys , only prettier.đ
Lol Aw I wish!! But thank you for your kind words!!
I donât think she looks like Alicia keys however the only thing she has in common with Alicia is that there both biracial and she attractive as well!!
@@moniqueconnors2838 đ I definitely do not but thank you
I was going to post a question asking if Alicia Keys is one of her siblings! Definitely prettier, though.
@@causehoneysaidso6335 you look a lot like her.
My mom, at 73 yrs, found out she had a family secret kept from her, a brother. She was raised as an only child. Whatâs worse is he passed away a few years ago. His son, who did the test kit, doesnât want to believe it or wants nothing to do with my mom, his only aunt, and my mom has money. So strange because he is a college student.
I'm so sorry your adoptive parents weren't honest with you and I have no idea why they weren't. If they'd told you from very young you would have just accepted it as kids are very accepting. To find out when you are your age must have been a massive shock to you as you'd been questioning your light skin colour and wondering all along. Now it might affect your relationship with them as it puts all sorts of extra doubts into your mind and really your whole childhood was a lie. That's why it is vital to be honest with adopted kids when they are young or they can be left with trust issues for the rest of their life.
I'm adopted myself, was adopyed age 3 weeks and grew up with 3 adopted siblings (non genetically related) and we all knew since before I can even remember. I cannot imagine how I would feel if I found out when I was you age. I suspect I would have gone through every emotion possible including anger at my adoptive parents for not telling me. I have gone on to adopt two sisters when they were 1 & 2 and I always told them from when they started asking questions about babies that they were adopted and always answered all of their questions truthfully to be best of my knowledge over the years whenever they asked me questions. I would never ever have tried to pass them off as my birth children, the thought never even crossed my mind, because I would never want to lie to them. I feel adopted children have already lost so much through no fault of their own so to lie and not be truthful is to deny them their identity IMO.
My children know who their birth family are and we had letterbox contact when they were younger sending photos and letters and presents through social services in a safe way. Sadly the birth family betrayed my trust and contacted my daughters online when they were only 11&12 which caused huge problems for both girls as they were way too young for that level of contact as the siblings encouraged them to sneak off to meet them behind my back. I was always in favour of my girls meeting their family but I had wanted to wait until they were 18 and mature enough to cope with it and I would have supported them with this, but they accidently found out our surname and Googled them and found them on Instagram and then all the deception occurred with devastating results to my girls which I don't want to go into on a public forum.
With hindsight now I am regretting being so trusting of their birth family and I wish now I had not sent letters and photos, but stupidly I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, as I wanted my girls to get to know them before maybe meeting them when my girls decided they wanted to and felt ready to.
Do I regret being so generous, you bet, but what's done is done. My daughters are 19 & 20 now. I am incredibly close to my youngest but my oldest has disowned me and that really hurts as I always did my best, but maybe blood is thicker than water who knows.
I did my own DNA test and have been connected to a close family member who could be my aunt but she has no idea how we are related. She has a younger sister and brother so I could be their child but the sister has not owned up to having had me and the brother could have fathered me and not ever have known if my birth mother hadn't told him I was concieved. He has passed away but he did have 6 children, but you can't ask random strangers to do a test to see if their father was my father can you, so I am still a 'secret' and may never find out.
Secrets and lies always hurt people. Honesty is always the best policy as the truth always comes out. Be proud of who you are. Your birth parents made you, but your adoptive parents chose you and made you the person you are, a beautiful, intelligent, lovely, young lady with your whole life ahead of you.
I am amazed that so many people went thru what are you. Hope you continue find your family, you will be fine. You can be my daughter or baby sister.enjoy yourself
My bf went thru the same thing. It took me 4 months but I found the mom. I found a lot of her siblings and she basically lied to them about it.
Fast forward
He met biological mother before Christmas last year.
The parents that raise him are amazing.
What is your relationship with your adoptive parents now? Are they still your parents in your heart. Or just the people who fed and sheltered you? Most of the time when children learn they are adopted no matter if they have always known or find out in a bombshell way like you did there comes a point when the adoptive parents become nothing more caretakers or acquaintances. There are of course wonderful loving exceptions to this but it does happen in most cases. I think it is the fear of losing what is emotionally their child that keeps adoptive parents silent. My friend was adopted and in the end she wasn't close to either her bio or adopted family. He bio family were not the most upstanding and not having been raised by them she was an outsider and knowing she was adopted changed her relation ship with her adopted parents as well. There was a disconnection. Yes she knows the truth and no longer has to wonder where she came from. But that knowledge came at a cost and shes not sure it was worth it in the end.I used to think adoption was a good thing but the more I see about how it plays out in reality I no longer feel that way.
Thatâs a great question!! I plan on making a part 2 update to answer some other questions Iâve received and I will definitely include yours in there as well! Thereâs really no short answer for these questions and I feel my responses may be helpful to others who may be in a similar position. Thank you so much for watching and for sharing your perspective with me đ take care!
My parents tried to do the same but Iâm a very nosey child and I went through my families file cabinet and boom found out that not only myself but all of my siblings had been adopted
Iâm adopted and this makes me want to order the test asap!
If you do definitely keep me posted with your updates!! & Thank you for watching đâš
Interesting to know you had your whole identity flipped upside down at such an age. Im 26 myself. I couldn't imagine going through that. You seem to be taking it all in very well though.
Hey I just found your video. And obviously I was googling about this thing because I just found out myself. I look sort of like my parents, but I took the test for fun with my wife. My brothers and I are not related at all. I still love them. I love my parents. I understand why. I just kinda regret doing it.
I know EXACTLY what you mean.. I can relate 100%! Like you said.. The truth didnât take my love away BUT it heavily altered how I now look at things. Itâs definitely an adjustment mentally but it slowly gets easier over time. Sending hugs your way!!
Iâm sorry that the Truth of your ethnicity and parentage was withheld. I pray your reunification goes well and you experience more positive than the latter. I can see that your both intelligent and articulate. The BONUS is that your very pretty and relatable. Your loving description of your mom was extremely positive. Thanks so much for sharing your story.
Children SAD to SAY are Taught Racist Ignorance...I remember being screamed at about my Indigenous Native North American Heritage in school. So , No my childhood experiences in the 60âs were at times very traumatic as I recall being bullied, screamed at and cursed because of my ancestry. Now, it seems everyone wants to âclaimâ my ethnicity. I sometimes even now feel myself be bitter when I hear non Natives Wannabes. I realize that Itâs necessary to let that Nasty đ€ą Feeling GO..as adamantly being the better person protects my mental health. Humans are humans and thereâs good and bad in every group. I pray youâll remain happy đ and maintain strong emotional health. Bless you and be encouraged today!
Congratulations
I'm in the same situation
Haven't found out much as yet
Still investigating and it's not easy being adopted
I have experienced the same story! Shocked! Surprise! New siblings!! All of that!
I'm quite intrigued now where you got all your traits and looks from. Did you get to meet your siblings? What are they like?
My mom was adopted when she was almost 2 years old. So my mom, my daughter, me and one of my other sister's did Ancestry in May of 2020 also. Since all of us did Ancestry, and my sister and I having the same mom and dad, it did separate my mom's side and dad's side. Alot of matches popped up. One as close as a second cousin. I reached out to him through the app, no reply, then I reached out on FB, no reply, my daughter reached out to him, then someone that we thought was sister. She reached out to my daughter. We found out that's his niece. But she reached out and had him reach out. But I guess he's not interested. But the only thing I want to know, is what my mom's birth name was at her Birth and what her parents names were or is. Im not interested in meeting up with anyone etc.
Was it a closed adoption?
Its great someone loved you
Wow, I can`t believe you were not told that you were adopted!!! I thought that was something that happened a very very long time ago. If you had never taken the dna test, you would never had found out, and you would have been living a lie all your life! My grand kids are adopted out of the family. And I have still been able to stay in contact with them and be their grand mother all the way. You can never be loved by too many people, so three grands are better than two right? :-) it`s illegal in my country, not to let the kids know they`re adopted as early as possible. Which is normally when they are 3-4. I still can`t get my head around why someone would let the kid be living a lie all it`s life. This has been really shocking to me. I`m so happy you found out in the end!!! All the best and lots of love to you! xx
so sad to hear you was adopted I'm doing a dna test for a young lady I seen on paternity court her story matches me that's why I'm taking it also are your mom from Oakland CA
A friend of mine who grew up knowing she was adopted did ancestry a few years ago and the day she got her results she noticed a family match to âclose relativeâ. She emailed with the info she knew of her birth/adoption. The person she messaged was her maternal uncle but it was his wife who managed the account so she asked her husband and he knew immediately it was his sisters daughter. My friend woke up the next morning, her birthday, to a phone call from her half sister with her mother in the background. She found her mother, three half siblings and some aunts, uncles and cousins the day after her results came in!
Oh my goodness! Wowww đ thatâs amazing. Iâm sure thatâs a birthday gift sheâll never forget!!
I feel the same about my family. Alot of secrets. Found out my sister was adopted by our fathers mom, legally. Because her mother couldn't provide for her. Dad took it to his grave but family spilled the tea once he died