I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again- Portia is hard on her girls now so that they can live easy, gentle lives when she can no longer be around to protect them. And Violet has the safety of having male sons where Portia has all girls. She has less of a net.
So that excuses her relentless bullying of Penelope that even SHE admits in Part 2 was excessive? I like Portia’s character growth in s3 Part 2, but let’s not pretend her treatment of Penelope before that was excusable because of “tough love”
Violet was very much a kept woman. Kept by her husband then her son. Her struggles were internal. Portia had to constantly battle external forces and circumstances and had no backup, or help, or safety net. She scraped and clawed and fought to get out of her famiy's home and to provide for her family. I think her circumstances may have been very similar to Cressida. Having to rely on herself.
Violet might have had an easy life, but she is SMART. Even Penelope commented in season one about how shrewd she is. Violet ONLY deferred to her son when and because the law dictated. Even when she was experiencing a perilous labor, she demanded the right to choose for herself - despite the Doctors asking Antony, and the law dictating that it should be Antony's decision. She might have had an easy life, but she definitely has what it takes to take care of business.
@interlocution6619 Her father called her Beauty and Brain and I'm not diminishing her competence. But she also checked out for years. And never had to worry about being at the mercy of an incompetent or unscrupulous man. Her father kept her, her husband kept her, her son kept her. Other than the issue of Daphne's season, she never had to go contrary to the men in her life. And she was never personally at risk.
@@lauramathews3151 She checked out after her husband's death, and the traumatic childbirth experience. However, the show is NOT clear on how long that grieving period lasted. We are left to assume. Where I do agree with you is that she didn't have to go against the wishes of the men in her life, because she never had to. I do think she could if necessary though. She did push Antony in both of the first two seasons, AND was the one who took all of the measures to fix not only Daphne's situation, but Antony's mess as well. She seems to be always doing damage control, and cleaning up after everyone else's missteps.
It's also likely that Violet has a substantial amount of money in her own right. She does not need to be kept by anyone. She was an only child. It is likely that her father placed a large amount of money in trust for her before he died. A widow's share of her husband's estate would also have been given to her when he died. This was common practice at that time as well. There was often a portion of the estate that was set aside to support the widow for life, when the husband died. She manages her household much better than Antony. She would be fine. I don't think you give Violet enough credit.
Just to point out that Mr Finch actually came to call on Philippa, Lady Featherington had nothing to do with this match... and this couple is so underated, because they actually love each other...
Anyone saying security isn't romantic, show me 1 romance book, 1, where the man isn't either well off, or at the very least has stable income and comfortable lifestyle
Say it louder for the people in the back! When Portia said that my eyebrows raised! She wasn’t wrong about that. Nothing romantic about worrying about how you’ll pay the light bill next month.
Violet has had the privilege to be raised by a wonderful, loving father. Then she had the next incredible privilege of loving and be loved, taken cared of, and marry a wealthy, wonderful man. She had the luck to birth many sons who love her and are responsible, outstanding gentlemen who care for her and her daughters. Violet has the privilege to be a soft, loving mother and person in general. She's only know love and security ALWAYS. Portia has always been dealt a shitty hand and still, with way rougher edges, she's done everything she can with what she has to secure her daughters are safe. When you have to chose between safety and love, which she has, it's always gonna be safety. Both are great mothers.
It is also likely that since Violet was an only child, she had also been given a large some of money in her own right. Knowing that he had no sons, her father likely placed money in a trust for her before he died. It is likely that she would never struggle for money or status. However, that does not mean that she would never know struggle. I think people place way too much importance on money, and ignore the fact that women of the era had few rights, the laws were biased in favor of men, and their struggles were given little attention. Even during the birth of Hyacinth, The Doctor asked Antony what to do, instead of the woman herself, who was going through the experience. Violet is smart, cunning, and just as tough as Portia - only in a different way, because she also had to be.
I don't know why but sometimes the bridgertons look down on people making reckless and bad decisions, but those people happen to be either struggling or have no other way out. It's funny how they are so privileged and believe they can judge People on their sincerity
I think of Portia as the Mrs. Bennet of Bridgerton series Universe. Mrs Bennet in pride and prejudice is always remembered as the vulgar parent, who pushed her five daughters into society at the same time to find a husband, who talks too much, who is not an educated, aproppriate person. While Mr. Bennet is remembered as a Supportive father because he didn't care to arrange marriages for his daughters. Needless to say, he would eventually die and his wife and daughters would lose their home to a male relative. So, was Mrs Bennet wrong in her desperation? No. Portia was also not wrong for wanting pratical marriages for her girls. Where I think Portia is lacking is in trying to understand and being a warm person to the girls. She failed to protect Penelope from her mean sisters, in fact, Portia was mean to Penelope to the point that Penelope created LW to have a voice. The one scene that I cried in bridgerton was the scene where Penelope implied that she started LW to protect herself from Portia. I am a mother and one of my biggest fears is to do something to my child that would hurt deeply, even if its not my intention. So, to me, Portia overlooking and belittling Penelope is her greatest flaw. The sideplot that made me really happy about S3 part 2 is Portia redemption arc. Portia turning the Featherington house as loving as the Bridgerton house for her daughters, in-laws and grandchildren, healing Penelope generational trauma. I'm so happy we got to see that. And, for a mother who wanted pratical marriages, their Sons in law are the most loving green flag men in the Ton who adore their wives. It's actually funny how Colin fitted so well with Harry and Albion.
Yes, I love that too! The closing scene being in the Featherington house shows that Penelope secured their place in society but they in turn became a loving family that shared in their success. Philippe saying that her daughter will be a great writer and won’t need a man is such sweet acknowledgment of her admiration for her sister. Prudence complementing Pen on her wedding was also such a sweet moment. It was wonderful to see the Fetheringtons be like the Bridgeton brood when they are all together. I loved that the last scene of Pen and Colin kissing was by the Seat where she always used to sit and read and always sat excluded from her family’s conversation.
The point about Portia’s daughters were in fact all having love match is very spotted on and often ignored because them being comic relief most of the time. Portia always wanted her daughters to have security above all, yet all her sons in law all adored their wives ( some richer than the other). That is a very interesting outcome.
I have said this many times, Portia is a boss. She does what she needs to do to ensure that her family survives. She is hard on her girls because she knows the world they must face. Her treatment of Pen was adverse to creating self- confidence, but, when you know better - you do better.
Hi, there! Now that I’ve watched part 2, I 1000% agree with you. Portia’s development this season was commendable and so contagious for all of the Featheringtons.
Agreed! Portia is a very 1-dimensional character in the book but I like how they allowed her to grow. She saw what her daughter was able to accomplish in a world where Portia didn’t think women had any power.
As they are portrayed on screen I just love them both. I adore both actresses, and think they are a perfect fit for their characters. Portia is cunning and cleaver, and always ready to do what she thinks she must. Violet is nurturing and loving, yet strategic, and cleaver i her own way. Both mothers are amazing, and both actresses are as well.
Portia is first and foremost a realist, a mother who's trying to protect her daughters with the resources she has. It was horrible when Portia said "I married for security and still I didnt get it from your father". I can't even imagine what must've been like for her. Shes a strong, intelligent woman whos had to resort to some unsavory means ti survive and I absolutely admire that. Penelope hated her mom for not seeing her talents and strength, but didnt she do the same thing to Portia? She wrote scathing things about her family when they were already in the ground and Portia was doing everything to claw them out of ruin. Penelope's betrayal to her family is literally one of the worst things she did and Portia didn't even get mad at her because she appreciated Penelope's cunningness.
I love that Portia and Pen were able to do right by each other by the end of this season. It truly was heartwarming to experience after they were at odds for nearly all of Pen’s life.
I agree. Portia is such a layered character beyond the male support of her family I can almost bet she didn’t have a father like violet’s. Probably more like Cressida’s. 😫
I love Portia so much, she is an interesting character, she always choose her daughters and when Penelope talked to her about how she felt and got angry, Portia questioned her own behavior and tryed her best to be a better mother and a better person. And she is the type of woman that always “does what needs to be done”. A strong one for sure. I am team Portia
Yes, Portia should have given them an official birds and bees talk, but I can’t fault her nearly as much as Violet. I’m sure there was a significant amount of understanding Portia took for granted since they JUST spent months living with an unwed pregnant woman and dealing with what that meant. Violet literally had no excuse, especially when her daughter was ASKING and explicitly stating that she knew nothing.
This is true! Definitely a flawed moment for Lady Vi. But for some reason she was so UNCOMFORTABLE speaking to Daphne about it. Hopefully she does a better job with Eloise & Francesca. 🙏🏽😫
I feel like because they were living with a pregnant person Portia should’ve told her girls how to avoid it and by that explaining how one gets pregnant. Violet didn’t have to because she marries her Daughters off to kindhearted husbands, that are supposed to teach them.
I absolutely love Portia. She is no nonsense and put her children's financial security first. Even the way she tried to protect Marina. Although it wasnt kind, the alternative was being turned onto the streets and she made that clear. Her character is strong as hell and I would take that over a Violet any day. Violet had a much better happier life and she probably never had to struggle for money
Hello, there! While I agree that Portia's strength is different than Violet's, we must remember the mental trauma that Violet has endured. losing your soulmate and almost your own life during childbirth is something to experience. And somehow she was able to pour love into all 8 of her children. Can you imagine the postpartum depression she must have gone through? The reality is most of us don't get to choose our moms, but we get lucky in getting the ones that persevere and mold us into the best people we can be.
When Portia said to Pen. " I find great comfort that you will always be there to take care of me" that felt so harsh and made me laugh so loud, because that would be something my mum would say. Like...that is a realistic line that shows she is an actual mother. That psychological trauma that gives to her child ahahahah. And Pen huffing after it, brilliant representation. Also, let's be honest., Portia was not a passive character. She was doing the job for her children and she was honest with them. She was explaining to them how the society works. And she tried a lot to see her daughters shine, by giving them amazing colorful dresses, not getting them dressed like all the other girls. They would have to shine to get noticed, not to become one with the mass. And she was honest with Marina as well. Their world was not a novel full of romance. You will not always get to find someone to love and marry him, bc you have to marry him fast so love is not always an option. But you do get to find things to love. And that represents a lot the generation of our parents and grandparents i believe. They all almost are married from matchmaking by their parents bc they were told that they had to. And also, Portia is the leader of her family. She never goes on the side, even when Philippa is getting married and her husband is supposed to be "the leader", no, unlike Violet who made Antony be the one who would take care of them, Portia made the goal of her life, to make sure that her daughters would be secured. Bc the Featherightons, unlike the Bridgertons, were not lucky. They were not just existing and be loved by everyone.
Violet immediately forcing anthony to take care of everyone after he saw his dad die was crazy. I understand she went into labor too, but she could have sent for an older family member or lady danbury to stay with them while they were grieving.
I feel like they both have their pros and cons. For Violet’s pros….she actually loved her husband, and genuinely loves her children and always tries to be a nurturing and encouraging parent even if she seems a bit overbearing. She also tries her best to give her children advice even on issues that she herself still isn’t 100% certain on due to the time period and society. Now her cons, she can be a bit meddling and overbearing but what parent isn’t? I know a lot of people hated her in seasons 1&2 because they felt that she almost pushed Anthony to be the man of the house after their father died, and Anthony suffered from PTSD due to that and not being able to truly mourn…..and while yes she definitely was a bit pushy about it, I think people forget that Anthony becoming the man of the house wasn’t Violet’s choice or sole doing. Society since the beginning has had it put in place that it is the men who always have the power in their households, and that includes the sons. Yes Anthony suffered trauma from their father dying but Violet kinda suffered worse considering that she was pregnant with Hyacinth, and literally gave birth that same night, while almost dying from labor knowing that her husband had just died in her arms hours before. Let’s just say that Edmund hadn’t had died, and Violet still went through an extremely painful labor…..she still would’ve suffered from PTSD, and the thought of might having to either get an abortion or to save herself. That’s alone can cause trauma for years to come. Violet even though she married into the wealth of the Bridgerton family, she still had no actual rights as a woman so she can’t really be blamed for Anthony becoming man of the house that fast. As for the days and years following….well she was clearly still in mourning but, they should’ve had a talk about it which they finally did….she acknowledged the pain that they both felt and she apologized to him. Now Portia…..she definitely didn’t love Lord Featherington, and their daughters….eh. I understand that she did what she had to do in order to help them financially, but the way she as well as Prudence and Phillipa treated Penelope was just messed up. She definitely redeemed herself towards the end of season 3, but I still prefer Violet. I’d rather be raised in a household filled with genuine love, happiness, fun, and kindness towards the whole family than be in a household where the love is basically transactional, there’s no actual happiness and nurturing happening, and one of the people isn’t always being cared for with love.
Well said, Tia! It’s so nuanced when we begin conversations of motherhood and what warrants the title of “Good Mother”. Viper’s circumstances although financially better than Portia’s don’t save her from having less than desirable moments as a mother. Thank you for taking the time to join in on this conversation. It truly means so much! 🫶🏽🥰✨
I think that something gets lost in the conversation about Violet as well. She ALSO has PTSD from a traumatic, difficult, and near fatal childbirth mere months after losing the love of her life. No emotional support because of well, Antony's struggle. She had to fight her own way back into being mentally healthy. She did, but the struggle to get there is definitely minimized. I think there needs to be more conversation about the lack of emotional support for women in that era. (and any era really) I think Lady Danbury touches on it n Queen Charlotte, but there needs to be more (in real life - don't muck up the show with too much reality)
Okay about the marital act: In season 1 I was SO disappointed in violet for not actually having the conversation with Daphne. Their whole conflict in season 1 was that there was no informed consent with either party and I truly feel that violet could’ve prevented that miscommunication had she just been sincere with her daughter. We haven’t seen more of those conversations in later seasons presumably because they’ve been the male children but I truly felt for Daphne in season 1. At least the featherinton husbands didn’t push their wives into sex when they clearly knew nothing about it, though Portia also clearly dropped the ball as well
Yeah, the whole conversation (between Daphne and Violet) of the marital act not happening at least after the wedding is CRAZY. I agree that season 1's major issue was Daphne not truly knowing how a child was conceived. I want to also put some of that accountability on Simon. He assumed Violet had spoken to her. Like, did he not know those conversations were NOT normal too? Part of me really doesn't like that the husbands are meant to lead everywhere else but in the bedroom. And while Colin was super sweet his first time with Pen, I too believe he could have been more informative before they even started and emotions were high. Information about the marital act is very important for both parties.
Lady Featherington is trying to survive. Lady Brigerton is trying to live. I understand how Penelope feels. My mom is always trying to survive. She cant just live and let me live. I have to create my life and my rules.
My mother has also been in that survival mode. It manifests as narcissistic mother like how Portia comes across in the show. Life circumstances make her colder.
I can see what you’re saying and I definitely feel a grace towards Portia because of her circumstances. I can even see her motivations, but I also don’t think that it completely justifies her cruelty. She created a toxic environment in her home, amongst her daughters. She basically gave up on Pen having the opportunity to find a suitor before she even had a chance. That’s where I struggle with the whole she wants what’s best for them argument. She never seemed to invest in Pen or believe she had value. Violet on the other hand has cultivated a connection with all her children and sees value in them. She is a woman of strong character and I don’t think it’s fair to just mark her as a kept woman (like other commenters). She is so in tune with her children and their needs and she is never over bearing but provides wisdom. I feel she would be this way even if she wasn’t a Lady in society. I think both women have their strengths and I understand Portia and I can even respect some of her choices, but I will always love Violet and how she mothers her children.
Hi, there! I think both ladies are good mothers. Portia’s treatment if Penelope was unacceptable. Violet cares to make relationships with each of her children, yes! She has a 1 up on Portia for sure.
Accurate! I have been mothered by women very close to these two characters and they both have made me who I am today, I take the good from the both of them and choose to leave the bad. I will be able to be a little of Portia and Violet to my own children one day.
I can't help but love Violet, I really needed an emotionally supportive mother growing up so it's pretty healing to see the love and care she shows her kids. But Portia is still doing her best to give her kids a good life even if it is through different methods and I'm glad we saw more of that this season
I agree! So happy to see more of Portia's soft side. Penelope has been able to essentially retire her mother in a way that she could have NEVER imagined. The character development has been fantastic for the Feathrington family as a whole.
Portia reminds me of my own mom in the sense that she wants whats best for our lifestyles. For example, I dated a guy who's family is well off and well respected, and share the same religious beliefs and manners. I didn't feel a strong connection with him like I do my boyfriend now, who isnt well off and does not share the same religious beliefs. My mom very outwardly prefers my first boyfriend because of the comfortable and respectable life I could potentially build with him. She is set on me choosing the options that will ensure security and comfort. The only ways she is like Violet is that I trust her to the point where I can tell her anything and she'll listen and give her honest advice, and she won't talk down on me lol. She lifts us all up to feel the most confident we can. I loved seeing these two mothers in action throughout the seasons it was so relatable
Wow! Thank you for being personal with us. I think what draws most people to this series is it’s relatability. With so many different characters, everyone is bound to have someone they resonate with. My character is Penelope. You’ve kind of got the best of both worlds with your Mom. A confidant and also someone that wants the very best for you and isn’t afraid to express those wants for your life. Many people don’t have that.
I think it’s also important to consider what kind of household they’ve fostered. Violet’s household is supportive, connected, and loving. While Portia’s is more distant, not to mention she encouraged or at least didn’t reprimand her older daughters when they would pick on Pen.
Awesome video and I love your point about Portia operating from a place of survival. A fox will gnaw off its leg before remaining trapped; it isn’t “nice”, but it’s effective, and that strikes me as a Portia move. Further, I’ve always felt that the Bridgertons are the equivalent of the trust fund kids studying Art History and Museum Curation all “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life”, whereas the Portia speaks to all the parents who didn’t come from generational wealth and told their kids, “learn a skill, or a trade. Become a doctor, lawyer; a job that pays. The thing you love to do is your hobby; your career pays the bills.” Violet comes from generational wealth, married into landed aristocracy, has three sons lined up in succession to replace her deceased husband, an eldest daughter to help raise the younger kids, and lives off the interest of her fortune without ever so much as seeing the principal”. She can afford to “never work a day in her life!”, whereas Pen and her sisters are gonna have to grind. And indeed, Pen does
You put this so eloquently. I couldn’t agree more. These scenarios you painted are exactly what we see in this universe. A privileged mindset and those who have their privilege hanging on by a thread and who must do ANYTHING to keep it in tact and remain secure. It’s such a miserable place to be in but is a reality for so many.
I also want to point something out about the age of marriage. They refer to Penelope, and Kate as spinsters. The average age of marriage for a woman actually was between 24 and 29 - NOT 16 or 17 as many people choose to believe. Unmarried at 26 or 28 would not have been as problematic as this show and others would have us believe.
I think what I like about the both of them is , what one is lacking , the other seems to have and vice versa . I love Violet but she’s kinda docile with certain things , where Portia would be cut throat 😂😂😂. Also I love that you acknowledged that Violet has always had the privilege of just sitting in her femininity and not worrying about anything . I personally think Portia grew up with working class parents , she tells Penelope she married her dad for security so maybe she didn’t grow up with much , she’s in a way more masculine than Violet because she’s had to hustle like a man most of her life to keep herself and her girls afloat. They both love their children greatly , but different ways for different reasons.
I absolutely love Portia, she's pretty much the same as my mom. I think growing up it's difficult but once you get a little older and can talk to them more like "adults" you really see just how much they've done/sacrificed. Honestly, i was a bit fearful of my mom, as a strict and disciplinary parent, but at the same time even as a child i knew if i ever had a serious problem she would absolutely burn the world to the ground for me. Which for me was it's own type of affection. Yeah maybe we couldn't see eye to eye on every concern, but I knew damn well that I would ALWAYS have someone who would keep me safe and take care of me. Also, can we talk about how hurt she sounded at how Penelope wrote about herself?? I know it wasn't out for this video, but even Colin never mentioned it. Portia really does care for Penelope.
Portia is a good Mom! I stand firmly on that. She is clearly FLAWED, but she really did the best she could with what she was given. I do believe she loves Penelope, but throughout the seasons you could see she struggled with showing it. They are so much alike, and them not knowing that about themselves made it so hard for them to grow close. I get so teary eye'd when I see Pen and Portia get close by the end of the season.
Violet was starting to grate on me season 3. She doesnt seem to understand that love can grow in different ways and people are allowed to have more quiet personalities. I really dodnt like how she talked about the kilmartins sayong mot very nicely that theyre a rather "reserved bunch". Well sorry that not everyone is a bunch of loud mouths like the majority of your family 🙄 and telling Franny to get out of her comfort zone. There's nothing wrong with her. She doesnt need to leave her "zone" if she doesnt want to.
Yeah, Lady Bridgerton was in rare from this last half of the season. I almost didn’t recognize her. She usually knows her children VERY well but for some reason she missed with Francesca. 🤔
I LOVED this video! And I think I agree with your decision on “who was the better mother”. In these Regency times where women were struggling just to have a voice, let alone any control over one’s destiny… you kind of need BOTH Portia & Violet’s point of views to see the world 🗺️ as it truly is. Portia was always in survival-mode because she didn’t have the privilege of secure wealth & multiple sons like Violet did. I always thought Portia introducing all three of her daughters to Society AT ONCE was a tad odd (whereas all the other mamas introduced one daughter at a time)… but after your video I realised that Portia had even MORE determination to succeed than the other families did. Violet’s warmth & patience with all her 8 children was beautiful; but poor Daphne really suffered the humiliation of not knowing the truth about mens & women’s’ bodies. There’s that scene 🎬 in Season 1 where Daphne is quite sarcastic towards Violet, in regards to all her well-meaning metaphors about love & friendship… yet not giving her any tangible information in those flowery metaphors!
Ugh! You always write the VERY best comments! Yes, it was odd that all three girls were thrust upon the ton the same season. How was Portia planning to secure marriages for all three in one season against Daphne and Cressida?! Than the Sharma’s in season 2?! And Marina!!!! Guess she was playing the lottery!
@@JoiLouiseReacts Shonda Rhimes & her team knew exactly what stories about women they wanted to tell. Even the “villains” in these Regency times aren’t really villains; they’re just desperate human beings trying to stay afloat in a world that doesn’t acknowledge them. Even Portia has fought all this way FOR her daughters. She could have been the individual who jumped ship & deserted them; but she didn’t.
im sooo glad this video settled on both mothers being good in their own way- I was so scared that this video was gonna be like "Portia is the better mother because she had tough circumstances but *good intentions*" like I frickin adore how they wrote Portia, but no one can argue that the way she treated Penelope could be excused 😭
I tricked you with the thumbnail 😉 both are good in their own way and both have flaws. The video is just the conversation starter, the comment sections dives deeper thanks for viewers like you that care to connect these fictional characters to their real lives. Being a mother is HARD. And we don’t get a rule book. Lol! But they e definitely both done the best that they can.
People change, much like Cressida earlier in this season, marriage was the only viable escape from her family that Pen could see. Marrying for freedom vs marrying for love are two very different things. Eloise could never understand Cressida and Pen in that regard. She lives a very privileged life. Both financially and family wise. Portia didn’t “see” Pen and perhaps assumed she didn’t want to get married. Penelope used to believe she couldn’t get married, especially before starting Whistledown. No one truly knew Pen. 😔
Eloise didn't notice because she didn't fully pay attention to Pen's feelings. But to be fair, Pen makes her feelings small and unnoticeable to those around her on purpose. Seemingly because she is a bit afraid to take up space because of how she was raised by her mother.
After hearing you break down these characters, I agree that Portia did the best she could with what she had. Violet had a much more stable and loving upbringing and lucked out by having so many children the first 3 of which were males that could inherit the estate upon her husband's passing. Now we don't know about Portia's upbringing or her life before her three daughters are of marriageable age. However, judging by her actions and the way she speaks to her daughters and others, I would say life has mot been very kind to her before or after marriage.
I don't think Portia would've forced her son to take over all the responsibilities of the man of the house even with all that Violet went through. Like I just don't picture it. She would've prepared him and had high expectations but she FIGHTS for her children in a way I don't think Violet is capable of... I think all Portia's focus is on survival because Portia lives in a realer world a world where she's basically a single mother in a time where that is herculean. I actually disagree that she doesn't like Penelope... I think she sees herself in Penelope, she tries to snuff out her intelligence and creativity because those qualities do not serve in securing a safe match. I see SO MUCH of Penelope in Portia and I truly think if Penelope did not become Lady Whistledown she would've been Portia... probably worse actually.
I completely agree with you, Joi-Louise! I too am very empathetic and can easily see both womens points of view. I know Momma B has eight kids to move through the mart, but I too see Portia’s hustle and misfortunes that happen one after another. Do I think she is a bad person? No, I think she makes bad mistakes. She also needs to go to therapy, but that’s for another day. Thank you for the work you do and congrats on almost 5K! 😊
You know, I kind of think Varley was a therapist to Portia. Almost an advisor. Which was so lucky for Portia. Both mothers had their pros and cons. Thank you for supporting this channel. It means the world to me.
Great analysis! My mom is a little of both. However, the interaction between Penelope and her mom was my childhood. Im still getting therapy and healing. Now that my mom is elderly, i see more of her intentions. I still wonder why it was so hard for her to see me though. I like how Penelope blazed ger own trail which in turn she became a little like her mom.
Same for me! My nana was Portia to a T! Very cruel with her words and harsh about the world around me. There are some good things I took from her, but at 37 I am still unpacking much of the mental harm she caused me.
@@JoiLouiseReacts My Mom wasn't as cruel as Portia but not too far away from it. What helped me was understanding that she gave me the best she could given what she received from her mother. As an adult I came to understand what shaped my mother and her siblings. I didn't get resolution until my mother was on her deathbed (literally) when she told me she was proud of me, and even then, when I went to hug her, she said "don't come over here with all of that." She just gave what should. I realized my mother never realized how much she was loved by her mother, by her husband, and even by me, her child. It took her getting sick and us taking care of her (she was fiercely independent somewhat like Portia in that) for her to realize she was loved, and sadly she never appreciated the great husband she had until the very end. at least there was closure even if it was within the last three weeks of her life. All of that to say, look at the family dynamics your Nana came from and see if that won't shed some light. Hope it helps. I didn't mean to overstep. Blessings!
24:27 I agree portia dropped the ball when it comes to pen. * her accepting cressida's bs cause she taking it from portia as well. * her personality (being a feeler) isn't validated. So she hides it behind LW. But I think violet picked up the slack for portia in the raising of pen. She had a Feelers harmonious home to retreat to. And was surrounded by other freelers who were her tribe so to speak. INFX ESTJ communication is difficult. But I think you learn to speak each others language. Well the INFX does anyways. If portia finds out about LW, thats your common ground. LW is contr*l, resp*ct,financial security. That the language portia can speak. Pen taking contr*l of her life,influence over others, resp*ct from the ton/queen, and lots of money. Now your talking portia's language. And colin saying to portia what no one else dared to do but should have. To tell portia the perspective of her daughter. * she is loved/lovable, why do you not see/say that? * her being herself is accepted, why don't you? * why so obs*ssed with standing and contr*l? It forces portia to try and talk to pen in her language. Feelings. To tell pen how her marriage made her feel, how her being a mother makes her feel. WHY she wants contr*l and resp*ct. Thats ya common ground right there. And if pen ever has a kid. Especially if its a boy that gives portia the financial stability she needs. And when she marries colin and gives portia the standing and respect she needs. Now you are talking portia's love language baby.
They couldnt talk about it, they needed to be completely “pure”, and being pure meant being ignorant of everything related to sex. If the man suspected, even on the wedding night, that she wasnt pure because she didnt act all surprised and naive, because she knew what to expect, they would leave her, disolve the marriage etc etc any way, the girl would be ruined, thats why mothers had to keep them ignorant so they were really “pure” for their future husband. Not even lady danbury would have taught her daughters.
2/3 of Portia‘s girls are in happy and very loving marriages and absolutely worshipped. Pen… Dates a f*ckboy, And can’t really say I like the Bridgerton boys, or anybody in that family a lot
I started asking questions when I was…. 10? About the birds and bees. My Mum was raised by a mother who didn’t think my Mum needed to know anything, so talking about it made her uncomfortable. So she went and got this magazine, about the top 100 questions kids and teens had about sex. It had funny cartoon comic illustrations, and it answered all my questions. My Mum was the real Mum. She did her best to keep me and my brothers informed, even when she felt uncomfortable herself.
I LOVE this! I think motherhood is about finding your own way to be the best mother you can be for your children. When she couldn’t “speak” with you about it, she went out and found resources to help her educate you on what you wanted to know. Now that’s a GREAT mother. 🥰
@@JoiLouiseReacts She has always been fantastic. My two brothers’ teachers actually tried to lecture her, because she told my brothers about periods. Her answer was, she was raising men, not misogynists. She wanted her boys to grow up knowing, so that their partners wouldn’t have to deal with a man child who can’t function around the female body. It worked. Both my brothers are actually pretty good at dealing with periods. My middle brother has a partner, and he literally goes and buys her her fave chocolate, makes sure they’re stocked up on pads, and fills hot water bottles when needed. It’s actually pretty heartwarming.
@JoiLouiseReacts my father actually hates that hus sons know this stuff. He's... not a particularly nice human being. He and my mother are, obviously, very much divorced. But yeah, my Mum felt that my brothers shouldn't be ignorant about the ways of women. She wanted them to know. She felt that them being ignorant was simply wrong. Likecour father actually thought you would turn off a period, like a tap. She was just like "Not my sons. They are not going to be like this!"
@Lady_Blade_WarAngel I LOVE that your Mom elevated their perspective. I wish my husband was more sensitive to when I am on my cycle. He usually just asks “you need anything” 🤣 I’m like “I’ve cream, a hug, but don’t touch me, I want to cuddle but not for too long, I need rest, but I need you to sit next to me and watch this chick flick” and he’s so thrown by it that he usually runs away and plays gears of war. He thinks I’m CRAZY on my period. He doesn’t quite understand the layers of me every two weeks. Poor guy, but he wasn’t educated on it by his mother. She’s VERY old school.
I came across your channel and really appreciate your perspective. Deep diving into characters in the shows that I watch is something that's I've been exploring on CZcams and I've really been enjoying finding a community of people who respectfully offer an opinion or perspective and wants or encourage conversation with their subscribers. So, I would like to offer my opinion. Portia understands her older girls, but not Penelope. To her, Pen doesn't have the qualities that would make her attractive in the marriage market. Pen knows that she's a disappointment to her mother in many ways. Pen not confiding in her mother that she wants to finally get serious about finding a match and changing herself to be more attractive says a lot. Pens distance from Eloise is really hard for Pen. She doesn't have the support system that Eloise has. Pen was able to benefit from her friendships with the Bridgertons in numerous ways. Being cut off from them was much more difficult for Pen to deal with than Eloise. I think that Portia was in a very tough spot. Her husband was shady as hell. For hundreds of years, women of any social standing were expected to make a good match. Many were arranged for a variety of reasons. Love matches weren't that common among the nobility, aristocracy and peerage. Not having a son was probably a huge blow to him. I remember in that one ball, one of daughters anticipated match was shut down by the father. Her made some lame excuses for it, but we know that it was because he didn't have the money for the dowry. There was that time they went to the dress maker and they couldn't have anything made because they owed the Modist quite a bit. I was glad that we got a greater understanding of Cressida this season. We see very clearly that she is seen as a financial burden by her father and doesn't understand why she isn't married and out of his house and wallet. Cressida's mother lack of care for her daughter is tragic for Cressida. I feel like under the guidance of some like Violet, she would've a diamond. Unfortunately, her bitter character because of her mother's similar character makes her unattractive. Also, the Hunger Games called and wants their wardrobe back. It screams high maintenance. Sorry if I rambled too much.
Omg! The Hunger Game reference is ACCURATE! And the odds were NOT in her favor. 🤣 Inso appreciate you leaving your thoughts. Hope you stay and remain part of the community.
3:13 question question, so I assumed Anthony took on the role of father because he was the eldest son and and therefore the viscount bridgerton who is in charge of all the bridgertons specially the sisters. He is meant to provide for all the bridgerton children born in his household. He is a patriarch in his family and I thought it kinda just was his responsibility based on the society norms of the time. So although I agree it was too much specially for an 18 year old I doubt his perspective at the time didn't go beyond thinking this was his duty... The reason the Fetherington women were having such a hard time with the death of their patriarch wasn't so much because they would miss him but because someone new would have to come take over his responsibilities and they didn't know if the new lord would take care of them, let them stay in their home or not but he had to pay the dowry for the fetherington daughters of the previous lord. So even thought jack had no money he still tried to provide as horribly as he did lol
This is true! Much like Portia, Jack was in survival mode too! Had Colin not found him out, who knows how things could have gone for the Featheringtons. Anthony never got over how his Dad left them. So suddenly and by something so seemingly harmless. I do think it caused much of his stubbornness in wanting to chose a bride early on and his misguided first choice for Daphne during her debut. Wanting too much to do what is honorable and not really looking at who he almost handed his sister over to. Although we love them, the Bridgertons are all flawed in their own unique ways. They are perceived to be perfect but they are more kind than anything else.
Lady Danbury gave Queen Charlotte the talk, so I think she would have been great at it if she had daughters. She even gave Charlotte tons of sketches. It is baffling that lady Danbury could give this girl that is her Queen the talk and not be intimidated by it and these moms couldn’t is crazy.
@@JoiLouiseReacts i love that she talked about how it might suck and be a chore. She did not sugar coat anything. And luckily Charlotte had great experiences with it.
I just watched your video and hadn't realized you had not seen part2 of season 3. I hope you have seen it by now. You are going to really like what they did with Portia's character in the second half. Hope you can revisit this topic once you have seen it.
I think not better or worse moms, just different with different circumstances. Making a mistake of a poor choice does not condemn you if you truly regret it. We can all do better.
I can understand that porsha wants her children to be taken care of but the difference between Porsche and violet is that violet is that she is more kinder , loving and patient. Portia is starting to be like her own mother mean
I really love Violet but Portia just has some growing to do, but girl it is so important to talk about the birds 🐦 and the bees 🐝 with kids. I kept facepalming every time haha. I fell bad for Pen too.
Watching her in that first love scene was rough. When Colin asked her if she wanted him to stop, she had no idea what was coming next and it made me so sad for her. How can you decide on whether you want something or not if you don't know what your choices are. She thought it would only be what had happened in the carriage. Poor baby!
I think it was both. Colin should have been VERY clear about what was about to happen before kissing and removing her clothes. Portia didn’t need to tell Pen anything until her wedding day. But she missed that with her two older daughters. Colin I was disappointed in for not making sure Penelope knew what was about to happen before they started. 😓
I like both characters, but for me it’s portia . The reason is she fights for herself and her girls no matter what it takes. I know she didn’t treat Penelope the same as the other girls, but what I liked was that she knew what her two older daughters would attract as suitors, so she never pushed and pushed. Where violet is only interested about passing them of to the highest ranking person. If it wasn’t for her children’s stubborn natures she would have been happy for them to marry the top dog. Also she constantly wants her daughters to be the bell of the ball to attract higher suitors.
Hello, there!!! While I agree with your assessment, both mothered are flawed. Portia’s treatment of Penelope was unacceptable. Full stop. She doesn’t necessarily get a pass because she was nice to her other daughters. She also never saw Pen until she caught the eye of Lord Debling. Portia did not believe in her daughters. She was way to hung up on her own expectations and experiences. While Violet was also flawed she wasn’t cruel. Wanting your children to marry well is not wrong. But being cruel to and talking down to them is. Both mothers appear to want what’s best for their children, but what’s best for them is such a general thought and doesn’t work for each individual child. Violet wants a love match for all of her children because she knows it’s the purest and happiest form of marriage. But, it’s not necessarily what each kid will want. Portia wants all of her daughter to find rich and wealthy men all while not realizing that her overweight and overlooked daughter was already a rich man. 😅 Violet for the most part can see what her children want and she seems to know each of them very well. She was able to catch Daphne’s love for Simon and Colin’s love for Pen. While Portia scolded Penelope for even thinking she could find a husband. In all honesty, Penelope‘s glow up and marriage to Colin shook her entire family’s identity. Prudence was filled with jealousy because she all of a sudden was no longer the favorite and her mother was now doting on Pen and scolding her for being mean to her. While the older Featherington daughters were married, Portia missed no opportunity to remind them that their husbands were low hanging fruit. We love Lady Featherington, but come on now. 😅
🤭 It’s on the works. I sit at my desk at work dying on the inside feeling so left behind. I wanted to stay up Thursday morning to reactors my reaction but had to work in the AM. Please bare with me as I am still working full time and turn around time for reactions is a bit longer at the moment. But it won’t be for long. 💪🏾
Violet definitely has better interpersonal skills and empathy with her kids. She knows their peculiarities better. However, she is also very privileged. She has that room to breathe, and certainly, Anthony gave her that room. Portia probably didn't have the room to breathe with her daughters. Had she dealt with less crises, maybe she would have had the time to see them better.
Agreed! Portia can’t rest in her feminine energy. She’s always on the defense and is constantly fighting to remain secure and set her family up for success. It’s a stressful head space to be in. Truly a fight for survival.
I don't think Portia chose Albian Finch for Philippa. I think that line was just her taking credit. Finch pursued Philippa on his own in season one, and his parents withdrew his courtship over the lack of dowry. Then when allowed to resume, he was all-in on his own accord. I don't think there was really any match-making. Albian and Philippa are a love match.
@@JoiLouiseReacts I re-watched that episode yesterday, and she took credit for securing the husbands. I see this as very different from arranging them. I think she meant they made it possible by securing the dowry money and keeping the family in noble society. Either way, Good job MOM!
I was waiting for a video on who Violet and Portia because I find them to be very intresting foils of the other and you can understand why they are the way they are. Violet had a love match and Edmund did leave them a bunch of money so her kids have the freedom to explore or get married later. Portia married that in her words was a cruel man and left them broke by gambling all their money. Portia had to get creative by embezzling. She is more realistic in the expectations of her daughters. While her daughters were also clueless about sex she did eventually explain it to them unlike Violet. It’s intresting to look at them as foils. I believe Violet is the more loving mother I would want her as my mom but I think Portia would be better at giving life advice in the regency period
Yes. Violet would have what it takes to survive with a lesser quality husband if she had to. She is smart - She requested ADVANCED mathematics at a time when girls would have been more focused on their embroidery, music, and other accomplishments. She deferred to Antony only when necessary, and only because society, and the laws of the time dictated it. I think her brand of gentle parenting and love for her children would shine in any circumstances.
Hi, there! I am not sure book smarts would come into play here as much as cunning and ruthlessness. When your husband is a drunk and gambler, your daughter's dowries are gone and you have no male heir to carry on the family fortune after your husband passes, you may need to do some things that I don't believe are in Violet's character. Though I believe Violet has it in her, I am not sure how she would match up to Portia due to life experiences, upbringing and character,
They have different life circumstances and it depends on what you're asking. If you're asking who was the better nurturer, provided warmth, love, peace, emotional safety and comfort to her children then it was Violet more so. Portia lived in survival mode and it hardened her.
Hey! Couldn’t agree with you more. This is the conclusion I came to at the end of my video. It’s harder to be a soft Mom when you’re in fight or flight mode.
I love Portia's character with all her pros and cons and motives. She definitely stands out more and is more memorable. However if I had to choose one of them to be my mother, it would be Violet.
The featherington father attended a few balls in season 1- I think there were at least one or two. The one I recall for sure is the one where he came with Penelope and she wore her pink dress and spoke to Colin about it. I think he also came for one where Philipa went to meet Mr. Finch.
Oh wow though, Portia fascinates me. I don't even think it comes down to 'good' or 'bad' parenting so much as a complicated mess of the people their personal lives turned them into. I think a good deal of the ease Violet has also comes from the fact that she has /sons/. She has multiple children who can take on the Bridgerton name regardless of what happens, so she has the luxury of being kinder with her children's romantic options than Portia would. It's likely about class to some extent as well. As much as it's pretty clear that the Featheringtons are supposed to feel like new money, they also come across as more newly titled than the Bridgertons. I mean, look at the way she presented her daughters at the same time (and thus early in Penelope's case). From a monetary standpoint it makes sense, but from a social one that's potentially /devastating/, the sort of thing that can ruin her daughter's lives if it doesn't go well. And ultimately, that's something that Portia should have instinctively known. The fact that she still went ahead with it shows that either she didn't grow up getting those sort of things drummed into her, or her desperation to have them married was so bad that it made her intensely careless with her daughters' futures, either of which is damning. The way Portia treats her children might be to get them well-situated, to get herself a comfortable spot up the social ladder, or, most likely, both, but for the most part it isn't great regardless of her motives. She clearly loves her daughters, but she reads to me as very smart and capable of dealing with some truly horrific situations, but who has never lived anywhere but on the edges of perpetual personal disaster which bleeds into how she approaches interpersonal relationships.
Mmmm…very well put. I appreciate you bringing your opinion to the conversation. Our circumstances definitely shape who we are as people and even our own parents give us indirect guidance on how to raise our kids. Newly titled or not, I’m not sure it gave Portia clearance to speak to or treat Pen the way she did. This is where some would stand to argue that she was a “bad” mother. Had Pen never experienced the Bridgertons (mainly Violet as a mother) who knows how she may have turned out. Even Cressida’s demeanor experienced a slight change when she befriended Eloise, the Bridgerton children are an extension of their parents and have the ability to impact others in a positive way. I also believe kindness is a choice. Portia chose to change her ways, to bring her daughters together and to become a better person. It had a positive impact on her family in the end and it was so beautiful to see. Luxury and wealth can also allow people to be unkind, so I don’t want to give too much power to it when it comes to the ability to be kind. We see so much kindness in Varley this season and she is not wealthy but shows Pen so much love and is a source of reason for Portia. Portia was forced to be the masculine energy all throughout her marriage and after Archie passed. It’s a do or die kind of place to be in for sure, but does not require belittling or bullying your child in the process. Why would Penelope want to be married when her example of a marriage was her parents? 🤣 *yikes* Portia was not a good mother to Penelope until the end of this season. 🥺
Hello, there! Thank you so so much! I really enjoyed putting it together and really shocked myself really finding “good” mothering qualities in Portia. Well worth the research. 🤭🥰✨🫶🏽
Everytime violet talks, she sounds like a child. Portia might be scheming, but she can scheme bc she has a better grasp of ppl and society. Violet grew up rich and went from her fathers protection straight to her husbands. Violet never had to worry abt the outside world.
Antony was first born so he is the are that's his place.. Benedict, the talented artist, Colin Middle child still trying to figure it through season 1 & 2 now he's a writer.
It can be hard feeling like you’re not living up to the role models in your own family. The father figures who seem to have it all together. I think if Colin knew how much his brothers “didn’t have it together” he’d ease up on himself a bit. As I am reading the book, I am realizing that finding his true purpose was such a big deal to him. Not sure how much that came through in the series.
9:35 I disagree. Portia Bridgerton would still want contr*l and resp*ct even if she had money. If she became the Bridgerton mom, I think she might get along with Anthony but Anthony wouldn't be Anthony then cause portia would be the one in contr*l leading the place. And portia would be bumping heads with most of the Bridgerton kids (the feelers), fran(infj), Benedict (isfp) and Colin (enfp) especially. Just look at 3x05 when portia interacted with colin. He saw through that and wasn't having any of it. Colin wouldn't be happy at home with mamma portia. Fran might also psych*analyse the sh^t out of portia and be able to handle or avoid portia. But simply adding portia would mess that dynamic up. Especially if the harmony creator violet disappeared. But violet featherington would be a mess as well. Sure she would have a close bond with pen. They would basically be sisters. But the featheringtons money problems wouldn't be something violet would be able to handle well emotionally speaking. What I like to see is a dynamic with a featherington- Bridgerton household with both portia and violet getting involved. Like my mother always said about her and my father "we complete each other". For day to day life, violet is your go to. For times of trouble call in the portia cav*lry.
@@JoiLouiseReacts Hey you never know, maybe mr. Bridgerton would have liked a portia. His son seems to like it. 😜😂 Maybe they would have had more kids. 😂 I think the featherington daughters, philippa takes after daddy, prudence takes after mom and penelope is a combination of both. Smart/cunning like mom/prudence but minus the cr*elty (unless they deserve it). But I think penelope takes after her dad. She is add*cted to the LW rush, the d*nger/thrill like daddy's gambling and boozing. She needs to be re^ghed in to not end up like daddy when she bites off more then she can chew (she already got in trouble with the queen for crying out loud and she just got started, she made so many enem*es with her LW). She is daddy's little girl alright. And portia dropped the ball there cause she should have seen that in her daughter, especially if she tries to hide it. But portia was more concerned with herself and how she was perceived to pay attention to the wellbeing of her daughters. Their lack of s*x ed was a testament to that.
@@maaiker2977 he might have! 🤭 the reference to Lord Featherington is interesting. I never looked at it this way before. The game that comes with being the real LW was definitely a dopamine hit for Pen.
Yes, Portia had certain circumstances that she had to overcome that Violet Didn’t but I think we need to remember that Porsche also made things worse for herself because she is an unkind person. If She would’ve raised her daughters kinder and less dumb They may have had better matches. Also, she could’ve had a secure life if she wouldn’t have interfered in cousin Jack’s plans of Marrying Cresida Cowper. But because she thinks she knows everything‘s best, she shot herself and her family in the foot.
Not *less dumb*! The way that just made me laugh! Ugh! Portia also had to raise these girls on her own. Archibald looks like he was such an absentee father. Super hands off and focused on his own pleasures. Portia is too concerned with how her family looks and not so much with the content of their character. A perfect storm of self centered, narcissistic women with no inclination to rely on and uplift one another. I was so happy to see that change by the end of season 3. Penelope REALLY changed the way the Featherington women saw themselves and the perceived limitations of the world they lived in. The cousin Jack storyline was so good! A perfect example of how Portia didn’t think things through. And it carried into Season 3 where Pen again had to come save the day (and naturally she’s the one to birth the next Lord Featherington).
Hi Joi! I was really enjoying the video and your energy ❤ you have great communication skills and you are gorgeous too! However as an epileptic person who is photosensible, I wanted to give you a little feedback if that’s okay. The filter that you put in some of the clips was really uncomfortable to watch and unfortunately, I can’t continue watching due to it😅 I thought it could be useful to share this intake with you so hopefully other people like me can enjoy the 100% of you in the future! Best wishes 😊
Hi, love! I recently heard this feedback from another person and todays video will not have this sound in it and neither will ANY of my videos going forward. I understand that this is a pain point for people and I do not wish for my videos to cause discomfort. I am very grateful for your feedback and hope You can continue to enjoy my content going forward. 🥰
@@JoiLouiseReacts Hi! Thank you Louise, that's super thoughtful of you 🤗 definitively will continue checking your Chanel for the future videos! Is a type of sound effect that causes that image? 😱 Love from Spain!!
I think both the sound and effect are harmful to the sense for multiple people so I am going to find another way to add transitions to my videos going forward.
Hello, there! Many elder siblings do become parent figures, even when one parent is NOT gone. It's part of the dynamic of having a large family. But I am not 100% sure that even Daphne had the same pressures that Anthony did. Look at the second eldest, Benedict, he is struggling to grow up due to seeing how much responsibility and lack of freedom Anthony had.
Hi, there! I appreciate this feedback. I want this channel to be kind and open to conversation around the mutual love for stories like Bridgerton. I went into this video thinking I hard the answer but as I humanized both Violet & Portia I realized they both were doing the best they could with what they had.
I don’t think it’s fair to compare them on their circumstances. Violet sees her kids as individuals and values each one of them, and she wants what’s best for each child. Violet is extremely resourceful and works damn hard to create opportunities. Violet combines these to be more effective than Portia. She’s genuinely the better mother because she - unlike Portia - makes sure her children feel loved and supported the entire time that she is working to provide for them. She builds her children to be confident, capable people who know who they are, support one another and can succeed on their own as well as with her campaigns. Violet, in Portia’s situation, would have done far better than Portia and much faster, with more grace. Portia’s kids have no idea who they are, don’t look out for one another and don’t feel loved. Certainly Penelope has it the worst and would have already been married to Colin far sooner if Portia hadn’t spent her entire life telling her she as a person was worthless. Gotta massively disagree with you here. A provider does not a mother make.
26:43 what I hope we get to see is the effect violet and portia in one family will have on one another. Sure violet will think portia is scammy. And to portia violet looks down on her. But I think with a common goal (the safety and well-being of their kids/grandbaby) and time together. These 2 women might get to know and respect each other and rub off on each other a bit. They have things in common. I would like to see that. I would like to see violet teach portia to be more sensitive. And portia can toughen up violet a bit. Yes they will bump heads and portia will hurt violets feelings and violet will ann*y portia. But if they have to work together for some reason. It might surprise them.
I think they will grow to respect each other for sure. They both ended this season “working on themselves” I feel confident we will see more of them aligning as they did about Cub and Pen not getting along at the end of season 3.
@@JoiLouiseReacts Exactly. And I think portia might be more involved with pen now. Lets face it, the side pen hides aka LW, thats kinda like her dad...the gambling and add*ction...its just not subst*nces she is add*cted to. Someone needs to re^gn pen in from time to time especially cause now that she is out in the open she won't re^gn herself in as much.
Honestly, I don’t think Violet is a great mother to all of her kids. I can’t deal with her openly preferring some of them to others. Like, the way she treats Anthony and Eloise? 90% of her interactions with the two of them are criticism. Watching season one back after season two, I have so much sympathy for Anthony because everything he did was to help Daphne in his own way, and it is literally just met with the two women complaining. Keeping away guys he knows well enough to know they would not be the sort of husband Daphne wants? He’s stopping her from ever finding a match. Arranging a match with someone who he feels can safely provide security and won’t hurt her? He made a bad choice and should have known better (despite the fact I’m pretty sure the concerns about Berbrook were never raised with him beforehand, at least not on screen). This trend of always assuming and thinking the worst of him extends into season two. Violet genuinely seems to resent him for the crime of not being his dad, something that was touched on a little more in season two (though not enough to darken the tone of the show). And Eloise fully just hides behind her sisters so she doesn’t have to deal with her mum’s expectations, something that is made clear in the show on multiple occasions. Violet begrudgingly accepts that Eloise doesn’t want the life expected of her just yet, but she doesn’t drop it completely. She ignores Benedict and doesn’t believe Francesca when she falls in love with John. I don’t think she’s a bad person, but I don’t think she’s a good parent. At least, not to all of her children. I think she is a person with flaws that probably should’ve been dealt with a hell of a lot sooner, because it’s her kids that end up suffering. I believe there was a throwaway line in season two (and if not I have the most vivid memory of something that never happened) about her having PPD until Hyacinth was 4 and basically leaving Anthony to do everything. Again, doesn’t make her a bad mother to all of her children, but I wouldn’t say she’s a good mother to all of them either.
Love your perspective on this. It humanizes Violet. You’re absolutely right. Perhaps she has not been a good mother to ALL of her children. But who could be? There are 8 of them!
I agree with you! They are the most alike out of all of the daughters. Super cunning and intelligent. They know how to survive and thrive in even the most difficult conditions.
Hi, Erica! Same, the women in my family were super religious and the talk was more of “don’t do it because you’ll get pregnant and the Bible says that’s not good”. It wasn’t an actual conversation but more of a threatening warning. 😫 I don’t believe schools should be the ONLY place where we learn about the birds and the bees. At least on a spiritual level we should know what it means to give yourself to someone. Especially right before your wedding night. 💁🏾♀️
Agreed! Although, I didn’t even get in health class. Unfortunately I ended up learning on my own. The discomfort & awkwardness needs to end. I know that I wished I was better prepared.
The marital act… with the beautiful gowns, incredibly wigs, and bigger than life personalities, we forget that Bridgerton is attempting to some extent to follow the books and customs from the time. Discussing sex was just not done at the time, very vague answers were provided by mothers if daughters asked… or were otherwise completely ignored. Pregnancy was not discussed either, women seldom told their own husbands about their pregnancies and would just drop hints or wait for the guy to figure it out by seeing their growing bellies. Pregnancies were not even discussed in writing among female family members, it was considered vulgar to do so. The only ones who were constantly worried with pregnancies and discussing such matters were royalty since an unconsummated marriage could be annulled and whatever treaties had been agreed upon disregarded. But every day people did not discuss sex or pregnancies. During the regency era it was not known the roles of sperm and eggs played in reproduction; hence so many men with illegitimate children floating around while their wives might remain childless at home. These would be things not discussed or even agreed upon until the end of the century (think 1880s). Menstruation, sex, and pregnancy would also remain taboo topics for the most part until the early 1900s. The problem with the show is that they freely discuss Kate’s and Marina’s pregnancies, Rose the lady’s maid somehow has managed to figure out reproduction about 60-70 years before experts have and was able to explain it all to Daphne, and all the couples are shown having sex in just about every place imaginable. So when they try to throw in the one thing that was historically accurate, keeping one’s daughters and sisters as ignorant of sex as possible, it seems weird and is viewed as bad parenting when really, it’s the one thing that is historically accurate in the whole mess. I had a hard time watching this show until I began to see it as a fantasy world no different than Harry Potter or Twilight, so I can accept the discrepancies without losing interest. For more accurate representations of the era Jane Austen films are good.
Hello, there! Thank you for your in depth comment. I am aware that this was how things were, but find a hard time grasping that for a lot of the world, it is STILL the way things are. Now, I get that for the regency era this was just not the way things were done. I wouldn't say it is bad parenting, but as a woman, I want my daughter to know what is going to happen to her body and for her to not feel blindsided like I did. Fantasy or not, it is our job to make sure our children are as prepared as possible in all aspects. Lady Danbury was able to "draw it out" for Queen Charlotte and I went up for that scene. It doesn't need to be a big deal, but the daughters should be able to ask questions of their mothers and not leave their bodies and the knowledge of what they can do up to men. Times have changed but it is so strange that we seem to be so far behind when it comes to this topic. Thank God for aunties, female teachers and big sisters. Lol!
@@JoiLouiseReacts no I totally get it, but that’s why I also said it seems so weird to us now because the show is not historically accurate and I think some people do actually think it is. I personally love the clothing but none of it is historically accurate. Some of those dresses would take decades to make, some colors wouldn’t have been worn at all because the dyes didn’t exist for them yet, etc. the part that stood out to me the most was the views on sex and pregnancy and you’re the first person I’ve seen address them. Again only because so many modern things are put in there that the historically accurate customs give us whiplash. 🤷🏻♀️
I appreciate your insights and it's great that my video resonated with you. This show is definitely an oxymoron or magic and nonsensical drama. Lol! But I LOVE a little silliness and inaccuracy here and there. Reality is bleak.
I think that there is no doubt that Violet is the best mother; just by the way she cares about each individual child. But, we need to give Portia her graces too due to her circumstances and how protective she is too her girls.However, I also think that would Violet be in the same situation, she would have similarly and as she should, care more about her children having a house, money etc over love. But she wouldn’t have treated any of her children the way Portia treated Penelope.
I agree! Penelope was treated horribly by Portia. I believe it stemmed from lack of self love. As much as she cares about social standing, you'd have to think Portia doesn't really love herself. Those that do, care about how they are perceived, but not just on a material level. They care what kind of character they present and how they treat others. You can't truly show others love until you've loved yourself. Portia and Penelope are so alike. Intelligent in their own rights. But Penelope channeled her mother's side into LW. I believe Pen was able to split her dualities because spent so much time with the Bridgerton family. They taught her the kindness and selflessness she never would have learned from her family. But Portia helped Penelope create her LW persona. Where else could she have pulled it from?
Personally, not a fan of how violet basically shut down when losing her husband. Don't get me wrong, it is understandable, but when you are a parent, you don't have the luxury to shut down, u gotta keep going for your kids. It felt very hunger games in that moment in season 2, only difference was the wealth keeping them afloat. Parentifying Anthony was probably Violet's biggest mistake. Also don't get me wrong, society kind of thrust that onto him as well, since they weren't listening to what violet wanted during her labor, so that is on society there, but what happened after was on violet for that part of Anthony's trauma.
I agree! I don't believe Anthony even had a chance to really grieve his father the way a son would. He become an instant Dad and Viscount over night. It's so hard to blame Violet though, postpartum mixed with grief is an ungodly combination. I would NOT want to go through it alone. Violet is complex and flawed, much like Portia, she did the best she could with what she had.
Portia is basically the Kris Jenner in the Bridgerton universe. She's always trying to put her daughters on which I respect. Portia isn't my favorite, but I respect her hustle and in her situation, she has no choice but to have thick skin. She had to become the father and the mother to her children, especially after her husband's death. In that time period when your husband left you nothing and you have no heir to your family's name, you can't be weak. She has good intentions just like Violet it's just her delivery needs some work. Part 2 she does redeem herself which I love. Violet has the opportunity to be soft and feminine because she doesn't have any worries. She lived a privileged life and I'm not mad about it, I love that for her. Even in Queen Charlotte Lady Danbury told Violet she was very fortunate that she was loved and Violet had a hard time understanding where Lady Danbury was coming from. It was some ignorance in her of not fully seeing how she lived a soft lifestyle her whole life and never experienced struggle. I equally respect both mothers they care for their children, and the only difference is how they go about it. I want the show-runners to make another spin-off show just like they did with Queen Charlotte but have the story centered on young Violet and young Edmond. I want to see how their story came to be and how they became the Bridgertons I would also want to see young Portia and young Lord Featherington in the series as side characters to see the whole dynamic of both couples and their upbringings so we can have a better understanding on why the families are so different from one another. I love your videos BTW can't wait for you to see part 2.
I wish for this too! I’d also love to add Lady Danbury to the mix. See how she lived raising her children on her own and befriending Violet. I hope we get something while we wait for season 4 of Bridgerton.
violet is able to be the soft nurturing mother because of the male support she had in her life. Portia reminds me a lot of my own mother. These types of women had to earn their place in society and were not granted the luxury of having a reliable male figure (be it father, husband or brother). although I like Portia, I just wish she was kinder to Penelope. Albeit peneople is shorter and fatter than the rest of her daughters, she is still her daughter. She could have helped her lose weight to become more healthy without insulting her or making fun of her. Also dressing her in childish colors was completely to infantlize her. In a way when Portia told Penelope I hope you stay with me it shows Portia is scared of being alone and wants Penelope to stay with her because she knew her husband was awful.
Hello there, than you for commenting! Losing weight is one thing. Teaching Pen to love herself is another. I don't think it is healthy for one to hyper-fixate on their weight. When you truly love yourself, you learn to take care of yourself from the inside out and the weight loss will be a byproduct of that transformation. Penelope may have been visually different and not what society expected her to be, but this is what made her the boss she was. Portia did not have the time to focus on Pen's weight while in survival mode. Every decision was life or death, had she tried to focus on it, she may have made it worse. As an overweight woman myself, I can attest to negatively focusing on a child's weight backfiring and causing them to spiral into obesity. Teaching self-care, healthy habits, and good living will better equip your children to live fuller nutritious lives. We see Pen eat the ice cream at one of the balls after having yet another social blunder of a moment. She eats the ice cream so fast that it makes her brain freeze. She is eating her feelings and looking for comfort from that food at that moment. The healthier action to take would have been to simply see the offender at that moment for who that was " a non-factor". But food has been her only comfort. No one else has ever spoken life into her until Colin. Why people are overweight is often about more than just dieting and about how they view themselves and how they deal with the opinions and actions of others.
Honestly I started to hate the writers. Daphne didn't get proper Sex Ed from Violet to have that stupid r*pe of Simon and Daphne being violent towards him. "inserts himself where?" was just a joke... Both Eloise and Creseda (her redemption arc was botched) became (more) monsters towards Penelope, so she has to reveal her secret identity. I am so annoyed with the writing...
I completely understand your perspective on this season. And on the scene in season one with Daphne using the bedroom to draw out the truth from Simon. It all is VERY strange indeed. I was uncomfortable with that scene and was so unsure why for the longest. You just confirmed why. She should NOT have done that to him to find out the truth. She could have just asked with the knowledge she got from her maid on the marital act.
I don't think lady Danbury was a good mother o really cared for her children. She had them out of obligation. We see on queen Charlotte that the boy didn't feel comfortable with her plus the fact they are never around and she says she is lucky they are far...😢😅
Hi, there! I have to disagree, we did not really get to see her mother her own children, but she did an exceptional job with Simon. Coaching him through his stutter, looking after him when his father abandoned him. I do think bringing children into the world by force is hard to do. Her husband was gross and her children may remind her of him. We must remember that she went through so much with Lord Danbury, I do not believe she was cruel to her children, but I can understand not feeling an attachment to hem based on how they were conceived.
@@JoiLouiseReacts thanks for your reply. I appreciate your point of view. I wonder if the books give us more details about lady Danbury. Would love to see more of her and a spin off with both Lady Danbury actresses.
Agreed on the spin off! Lack of back story is also why I went a little easier on Portia in this video, we don't know much about her history. We got a little more back story for Agatha this season with her brother, which I loved. Sounds like their Dad was NOT a nice man.
@@JoiLouiseReacts I appreciate your videos and feedback. I may have judge her harshly. Just saw a short of Lady Danbury with her boy and she is telling him how much he matters. Looking forward to more videos on your channel and praying they give us something more. I can't wait 2 years! 😭
I would LOVE to! But I am trying g to find a way to gauge where this video should live. On the channel? Or on Patreon? We will be going in reacting to Ginny & Georgia soon but Bridgerton has my heart. 🥰 Eloise as a friend is a conversation worth having for sure. Perhaps I can do it before the end of Summer. 🤔
Ok this is an interesting topic. Personally my dad has the same personality type as portia (estj). And my mom was esfj like violet. Both types have its plus sides and down sides. But in portia's case there is also some narc elements going on. But lets stick to just look at their personalities for a sec. Portia: She wants contr*l and to be the head of the household and to be resp*cted (that's an estj thing). They wanna feel needed. They think feelings are we*kness and you are whining if you express them. They are more "if you have a problem, learn to live with it, do something about it but don't sit there whining about it" kinda people. Thats cause feelings is low on their function stack. Its not the language they think in, h^ck they don't like it. Not your feelings and especially not having to deal with their own. Brightside, they run a tight ship and when sh^t hits the van they will remain calm and fix it. They are organised, efficient with money on the mind. Violet: They sacr*fise themselves for the ones they love. Family wellbeing, harmony and traditions are important. But they are constantly worried (about those loved ones) and in their feeling. How these types will be perceived will depend on the personality type of the perceiver. But speaking as an INFJ I can understand Pen, who is an INFP. Downside to both types of mothers which will effect their kids is that portia wants to be in contr*l, lead and be resp*cted. Which can lead to them needing for pen to BE contr*lled instead of learning your kid to claiming self ownership,be referential and not talk back if portia is disr*spectful and emotionally h*rtful or dismissive of feelings. So pen learns to disregard her own feelings and take the bs from cressida. And pen has feelings high on her function stack, she literally doesn't talk in the same language as portia cause portia doesn't do feelings. So portia thinks pen is we*k. And romance, love, feelings, being creative are all thinks pen loves and portia thinks is we*k bs. It makes the interaction more difficult. Violet on the other hand is great with feelings and harmony in the household (no wonder pen loved being there, they speak her language). Downside to violet is when she isn't in balance and is in her feels she will lean on others. In this case, Anthony. A burden Anthony shouldn't have to bare. You become your parents parent. Ok security being romantic to an estj. Yeah it is romantic if your partner wants to provide you with financial security. But I think emotional stability and freedom also has its marrits.
@@JoiLouiseReacts Sure. They are personality types used in MBTI. They have tests online and everything and MANY channels on CZcams discussing it. Its fascinating. I only learned about it myself later in life and oh boy does it explain a lot. Cliffnotes version the letters stand for, *Extrovert or Introvert (do you get recharged by being with people or does that drain your energy). Fran Bridgerton is an Introvert, I think INFJ. Unfortunately for her most of her family are Extroverted and boy do they drain her. Its why she felt lonely in their company cause she is the only one getting drained. The others don't understand that. 😜😂 *iNtuitive or Sensor (are you in your head or an in the moment kinda person). I am the "I have a bad feeling about this" person (N). My mom was a "don't ruin your now by worrying about something that might not happen" person (S). * Feeler or Thinker (Thinkers are more analytical, efficiency...Anthony,Kate, portia,lady tilly. Feelers are more in their emotions. They are more concerned with how they feel and what others need to make them happy. Oh good g'd colin is a major Feeler. He is non stop concerned with pen's feelings. Even the way he looked at her reaction when they were intimate. You would think thats THE moment to think of his own feelings. But no he aims to please. Colin is Feeler. 😂 And based on his need to travel I am going with ENFP for this one. * Judgers or Perceivers(Judgers tend to be the organised type, they wanna create order, perceivers are more all over the place). This is the basics of MBTI. It matters how your function stack is and stuff. But this is the basics. Its handy to get to know yourself and others who are not like you. If you know someone's type you know what they like and don't like, how they tick so to speak. So you can better understand others and maybe learn to speak their language. In western tv/movies the main cast tends to be Extroverts. I liked the Chinese series cause the main couple are Introvert. Ten Miles of peach blossoms is about an infj female and an intj male. How often is that the star in a western movie? Hardly ever. Usually the infj is Dumbledor or lady Galadriel, the mysterious silent one that talks in riddles who guides and protects others from behind the scenes. In Ten Miles you are in the head of the INFJ. Finally someone's way of thinking I can relate to! They also use MBTI in writing books or tv, to create complex characters that make sense. Unfortunately there are many stereotypes about each type that don't have to always be correct.
@@JoiLouiseReacts This guy has a funny and informative channel about it. czcams.com/video/rSPYEbDhAhM/video.htmlsi=Rj4mM7zKlS893XjC This is basically pen/infp, the introverted version of colin: czcams.com/video/KkbQiDkAtu0/video.htmlsi=LlLgh17vqBLg7zlc Basically Anthony/ENTJ: czcams.com/video/FPujb88v_dA/video.htmlsi=nNNc7zDfXo-CDkpW Colin/ENFP, he even brought the special brownies home with him. The easily excitable part was on full display with the proposal thing, like a true ENFP he had an idea and ran with it immediately. He is like a little tornado of feelings he just wants to express 😍🤣: czcams.com/video/kcg9Q2a1U3Q/video.htmlsi=iCupMY-GWYZYMVvZ Fran/infj (me). Its why fran got along with pen, INFJ and INFP, very simular. And I have a feeling her love interest will be an ENTP, classic combination with the INFJ: czcams.com/video/oM5HpZr6WCY/video.htmlsi=9sk2Syu3WtBdN_3J And last but not least ESTJ/portia. Really recognisable, I know a bunch of ESTJ's 😱😮💨: czcams.com/video/bEdLF6GA2bI/video.htmlsi=eWKxOSIsYrf7PhEh
@@maaiker2977 omg! This is so helpful! Thank you for being patient with me in this. It helps me understand your input to this conversation so much more. You’re also educating me. 🤭
@@JoiLouiseReacts you're welcome. I only learned about it myself while recovering from a narc during the beerbug period. I had some time to do a deep dive into psychology. It was fascinating. Funny some people also use it as a dating to^l. You know which type blends with your type and which you should probably stay away from. It can also predict the most likely conflicts in your relationship. Its fun cause I always thought the guys that hit on me are so simular. Now I realise I attract a surten personality type. 😂
I don’t think she was a bad mom. A lot of moms become like her when the husband or father present isn’t doing his diligence. She don’t have the energy to emotionally intelligent and manage their household.
Straights facts! An absentee parent throws the entire child rearing thing off path. My mother and I used to argue a lot. She had to be mom and dad for me and my brother and it was NOT easy. I always wondered why she and I would butt heads but this is why. Her energy was low and she was barely hanging on.
@@JoiLouiseReacts honestly I don’t think so…just a line here or there. No point do the Featheringtons recount a story about him. Not like Kate or Anthony do in their book.
@neripotts6047 Interesting, may have been a miss NOT to mention a bit more of Portia’s back story to give her character some depth beyond the aggressive mother, you know? Perhaps this is why they brought him into the Netflix series.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again- Portia is hard on her girls now so that they can live easy, gentle lives when she can no longer be around to protect them.
And Violet has the safety of having male sons where Portia has all girls. She has less of a net.
This is right on point! Especially for back then. It is fight or flight for Portia. 😫
THIS!
bridgertons also have unlimited funds
@naurrrre this is true!
So that excuses her relentless bullying of Penelope that even SHE admits in Part 2 was excessive? I like Portia’s character growth in s3 Part 2, but let’s not pretend her treatment of Penelope before that was excusable because of “tough love”
Violet was very much a kept woman. Kept by her husband then her son. Her struggles were internal. Portia had to constantly battle external forces and circumstances and had no backup, or help, or safety net. She scraped and clawed and fought to get out of her famiy's home and to provide for her family. I think her circumstances may have been very similar to Cressida. Having to rely on herself.
Ooof the Cressida and Portia parallel is GOOD! I didn’t think about that. Cressida can VERY well turn into a Portia type. 🤔
Violet might have had an easy life, but she is SMART. Even Penelope commented in season one about how shrewd she is. Violet ONLY deferred to her son when and because the law dictated. Even when she was experiencing a perilous labor, she demanded the right to choose for herself - despite the Doctors asking Antony, and the law dictating that it should be Antony's decision. She might have had an easy life, but she definitely has what it takes to take care of business.
@interlocution6619 Her father called her Beauty and Brain and I'm not diminishing her competence. But she also checked out for years. And never had to worry about being at the mercy of an incompetent or unscrupulous man. Her father kept her, her husband kept her, her son kept her. Other than the issue of Daphne's season, she never had to go contrary to the men in her life. And she was never personally at risk.
@@lauramathews3151 She checked out after her husband's death, and the traumatic childbirth experience. However, the show is NOT clear on how long that grieving period lasted. We are left to assume.
Where I do agree with you is that she didn't have to go against the wishes of the men in her life, because she never had to. I do think she could if necessary though. She did push Antony in both of the first two seasons, AND was the one who took all of the measures to fix not only Daphne's situation, but Antony's mess as well. She seems to be always doing damage control, and cleaning up after everyone else's missteps.
It's also likely that Violet has a substantial amount of money in her own right. She does not need to be kept by anyone. She was an only child. It is likely that her father placed a large amount of money in trust for her before he died. A widow's share of her husband's estate would also have been given to her when he died. This was common practice at that time as well. There was often a portion of the estate that was set aside to support the widow for life, when the husband died. She manages her household much better than Antony. She would be fine. I don't think you give Violet enough credit.
Just to point out that Mr Finch actually came to call on Philippa, Lady Featherington had nothing to do with this match... and this couple is so underated, because they actually love each other...
They REALLY do!!!!!!
They love each other but they're are also poor 😂. It proves Portias point that a practical match would have been better.
That is does! Lol!
I love them together soooo much!!! ❤
@@tatianaaugustin9119 me too! They really like each other!
Anyone saying security isn't romantic, show me 1 romance book, 1, where the man isn't either well off, or at the very least has stable income and comfortable lifestyle
Say it louder for the people in the back! When Portia said that my eyebrows raised! She wasn’t wrong about that. Nothing romantic about worrying about how you’ll pay the light bill next month.
True❤
Titanic, Jack Dawson was poor but I’m sure he would have made a beautiful life with Rose had he not died.
Jack was a manic pixie dream boy
Lady Chatterley's lover... But I'm not actually disagreeing with your point, it just popped into my head when I read your comment!
Violet has had the privilege to be raised by a wonderful, loving father. Then she had the next incredible privilege of loving and be loved, taken cared of, and marry a wealthy, wonderful man. She had the luck to birth many sons who love her and are responsible, outstanding gentlemen who care for her and her daughters. Violet has the privilege to be a soft, loving mother and person in general. She's only know love and security ALWAYS. Portia has always been dealt a shitty hand and still, with way rougher edges, she's done everything she can with what she has to secure her daughters are safe. When you have to chose between safety and love, which she has, it's always gonna be safety. Both are great mothers.
I could not agree more. The conversation is nuanced. Both of these mothers have their pros and cons. But are both great mothers in their own ways.
It is also likely that since Violet was an only child, she had also been given a large some of money in her own right. Knowing that he had no sons, her father likely placed money in a trust for her before he died. It is likely that she would never struggle for money or status. However, that does not mean that she would never know struggle. I think people place way too much importance on money, and ignore the fact that women of the era had few rights, the laws were biased in favor of men, and their struggles were given little attention. Even during the birth of Hyacinth, The Doctor asked Antony what to do, instead of the woman herself, who was going through the experience. Violet is smart, cunning, and just as tough as Portia - only in a different way, because she also had to be.
I don't know why but sometimes the bridgertons look down on people making reckless and bad decisions, but those people happen to be either struggling or have no other way out. It's funny how they are so privileged and believe they can judge People on their sincerity
THIS!
I think of Portia as the Mrs. Bennet of Bridgerton series Universe. Mrs Bennet in pride and prejudice is always remembered as the vulgar parent, who pushed her five daughters into society at the same time to find a husband, who talks too much, who is not an educated, aproppriate person. While Mr. Bennet is remembered as a Supportive father because he didn't care to arrange marriages for his daughters. Needless to say, he would eventually die and his wife and daughters would lose their home to a male relative. So, was Mrs Bennet wrong in her desperation? No. Portia was also not wrong for wanting pratical marriages for her girls. Where I think Portia is lacking is in trying to understand and being a warm person to the girls. She failed to protect Penelope from her mean sisters, in fact, Portia was mean to Penelope to the point that Penelope created LW to have a voice. The one scene that I cried in bridgerton was the scene where Penelope implied that she started LW to protect herself from Portia. I am a mother and one of my biggest fears is to do something to my child that would hurt deeply, even if its not my intention. So, to me, Portia overlooking and belittling Penelope is her greatest flaw. The sideplot that made me really happy about S3 part 2 is Portia redemption arc. Portia turning the Featherington house as loving as the Bridgerton house for her daughters, in-laws and grandchildren, healing Penelope generational trauma. I'm so happy we got to see that. And, for a mother who wanted pratical marriages, their Sons in law are the most loving green flag men in the Ton who adore their wives. It's actually funny how Colin fitted so well with Harry and Albion.
Yes, I love that too! The closing scene being in the Featherington house shows that Penelope secured their place in society but they in turn became a loving family that shared in their success. Philippe saying that her daughter will be a great writer and won’t need a man is such sweet acknowledgment of her admiration for her sister. Prudence complementing Pen on her wedding was also such a sweet moment. It was wonderful to see the Fetheringtons be like the Bridgeton brood when they are all together. I loved that the last scene of Pen and Colin kissing was by the Seat where she always used to sit and read and always sat excluded from her family’s conversation.
The point about Portia’s daughters were in fact all having love match is very spotted on and often ignored because them being comic relief most of the time. Portia always wanted her daughters to have security above all, yet all her sons in law all adored their wives ( some richer than the other). That is a very interesting outcome.
Mama Bennet is a 👸!
Portia featherington!! They can never make me hate her
Same, I could NEVER hate her. ✨
Everrrrrr!!! ❤❤❤❤
YESSSS
I love Portia. It doesn't hurt that I am a big fan of Polly Walker and love her amazing portrayal of Portia.
Portia is bad ass, love her
I have said this many times, Portia is a boss. She does what she needs to do to ensure that her family survives. She is hard on her girls because she knows the world they must face. Her treatment of Pen was adverse to creating self- confidence, but, when you know better - you do better.
Hi, there! Now that I’ve watched part 2, I 1000% agree with you. Portia’s development this season was commendable and so contagious for all of the Featheringtons.
I just love Violet. She always knows what her children need. Loved Portia’s character development this season though
Soooooo true! Violet REALLY knows her kids so well. Momma KNOWS! 🥰
Agreed! Portia is a very 1-dimensional character in the book but I like how they allowed her to grow. She saw what her daughter was able to accomplish in a world where Portia didn’t think women had any power.
Me too
As they are portrayed on screen I just love them both. I adore both actresses, and think they are a perfect fit for their characters. Portia is cunning and cleaver, and always ready to do what she thinks she must. Violet is nurturing and loving, yet strategic, and cleaver i her own way. Both mothers are amazing, and both actresses are as well.
Portia is first and foremost a realist, a mother who's trying to protect her daughters with the resources she has. It was horrible when Portia said "I married for security and still I didnt get it from your father". I can't even imagine what must've been like for her. Shes a strong, intelligent woman whos had to resort to some unsavory means ti survive and I absolutely admire that. Penelope hated her mom for not seeing her talents and strength, but didnt she do the same thing to Portia? She wrote scathing things about her family when they were already in the ground and Portia was doing everything to claw them out of ruin. Penelope's betrayal to her family is literally one of the worst things she did and Portia didn't even get mad at her because she appreciated Penelope's cunningness.
I love that Portia and Pen were able to do right by each other by the end of this season. It truly was heartwarming to experience after they were at odds for nearly all of Pen’s life.
Portia is in a permanent state of crisis with no sons. Violet is great, but she has the freedom to be so.
I agree. Portia is such a layered character beyond the male support of her family I can almost bet she didn’t have a father like violet’s. Probably more like Cressida’s. 😫
I love Portia so much, she is an interesting character, she always choose her daughters and when Penelope talked to her about how she felt and got angry, Portia questioned her own behavior and tryed her best to be a better mother and a better person. And she is the type of woman that always “does what needs to be done”. A strong one for sure. I am team Portia
Love the way you explained this. It definitely puts a vote in the ballet for Portia. 😍
Yes, Portia should have given them an official birds and bees talk, but I can’t fault her nearly as much as Violet. I’m sure there was a significant amount of understanding Portia took for granted since they JUST spent months living with an unwed pregnant woman and dealing with what that meant. Violet literally had no excuse, especially when her daughter was ASKING and explicitly stating that she knew nothing.
This is true! Definitely a flawed moment for Lady Vi. But for some reason she was so UNCOMFORTABLE speaking to Daphne about it. Hopefully she does a better job with Eloise & Francesca. 🙏🏽😫
I feel like because they were living with a pregnant person Portia should’ve told her girls how to avoid it and by that explaining how one gets pregnant. Violet didn’t have to because she marries her Daughters off to kindhearted husbands, that are supposed to teach them.
@@JoiLouiseReactsin the books they don’t wait for Violet 😂😂😂😂 they pay one of the maids to tell them what’s up because they knew she wouldn’t ! 😂😂😂😂
I absolutely love Portia. She is no nonsense and put her children's financial security first. Even the way she tried to protect Marina. Although it wasnt kind, the alternative was being turned onto the streets and she made that clear. Her character is strong as hell and I would take that over a Violet any day. Violet had a much better happier life and she probably never had to struggle for money
Hello, there! While I agree that Portia's strength is different than Violet's, we must remember the mental trauma that Violet has endured. losing your soulmate and almost your own life during childbirth is something to experience. And somehow she was able to pour love into all 8 of her children. Can you imagine the postpartum depression she must have gone through?
The reality is most of us don't get to choose our moms, but we get lucky in getting the ones that persevere and mold us into the best people we can be.
When Portia said to Pen. " I find great comfort that you will always be there to take care of me" that felt so harsh and made me laugh so loud, because that would be something my mum would say. Like...that is a realistic line that shows she is an actual mother. That psychological trauma that gives to her child ahahahah. And Pen huffing after it, brilliant representation.
Also, let's be honest., Portia was not a passive character. She was doing the job for her children and she was honest with them. She was explaining to them how the society works. And she tried a lot to see her daughters shine, by giving them amazing colorful dresses, not getting them dressed like all the other girls. They would have to shine to get noticed, not to become one with the mass. And she was honest with Marina as well. Their world was not a novel full of romance. You will not always get to find someone to love and marry him, bc you have to marry him fast so love is not always an option. But you do get to find things to love. And that represents a lot the generation of our parents and grandparents i believe. They all almost are married from matchmaking by their parents bc they were told that they had to. And also, Portia is the leader of her family. She never goes on the side, even when Philippa is getting married and her husband is supposed to be "the leader", no, unlike Violet who made Antony be the one who would take care of them, Portia made the goal of her life, to make sure that her daughters would be secured. Bc the Featherightons, unlike the Bridgertons, were not lucky. They were not just existing and be loved by everyone.
Very well thought analysis. 😊
Violet immediately forcing anthony to take care of everyone after he saw his dad die was crazy. I understand she went into labor too, but she could have sent for an older family member or lady danbury to stay with them while they were grieving.
I'm glad Colin told Porsche off , Somebody had too😂
Haven’t watched part 2 yet! But I can’t wait to see this part! 🤔
I feel like they both have their pros and cons. For Violet’s pros….she actually loved her husband, and genuinely loves her children and always tries to be a nurturing and encouraging parent even if she seems a bit overbearing. She also tries her best to give her children advice even on issues that she herself still isn’t 100% certain on due to the time period and society. Now her cons, she can be a bit meddling and overbearing but what parent isn’t? I know a lot of people hated her in seasons 1&2 because they felt that she almost pushed Anthony to be the man of the house after their father died, and Anthony suffered from PTSD due to that and not being able to truly mourn…..and while yes she definitely was a bit pushy about it, I think people forget that Anthony becoming the man of the house wasn’t Violet’s choice or sole doing. Society since the beginning has had it put in place that it is the men who always have the power in their households, and that includes the sons. Yes Anthony suffered trauma from their father dying but Violet kinda suffered worse considering that she was pregnant with Hyacinth, and literally gave birth that same night, while almost dying from labor knowing that her husband had just died in her arms hours before. Let’s just say that Edmund hadn’t had died, and Violet still went through an extremely painful labor…..she still would’ve suffered from PTSD, and the thought of might having to either get an abortion or to save herself. That’s alone can cause trauma for years to come. Violet even though she married into the wealth of the Bridgerton family, she still had no actual rights as a woman so she can’t really be blamed for Anthony becoming man of the house that fast. As for the days and years following….well she was clearly still in mourning but, they should’ve had a talk about it which they finally did….she acknowledged the pain that they both felt and she apologized to him. Now Portia…..she definitely didn’t love Lord Featherington, and their daughters….eh. I understand that she did what she had to do in order to help them financially, but the way she as well as Prudence and Phillipa treated Penelope was just messed up. She definitely redeemed herself towards the end of season 3, but I still prefer Violet. I’d rather be raised in a household filled with genuine love, happiness, fun, and kindness towards the whole family than be in a household where the love is basically transactional, there’s no actual happiness and nurturing happening, and one of the people isn’t always being cared for with love.
Well said, Tia! It’s so nuanced when we begin conversations of motherhood and what warrants the title of “Good Mother”. Viper’s circumstances although financially better than Portia’s don’t save her from having less than desirable moments as a mother. Thank you for taking the time to join in on this conversation. It truly means so much! 🫶🏽🥰✨
YESSS I absolutely agree with this 💞
I think that something gets lost in the conversation about Violet as well. She ALSO has PTSD from a traumatic, difficult, and near fatal childbirth mere months after losing the love of her life. No emotional support because of well, Antony's struggle. She had to fight her own way back into being mentally healthy. She did, but the struggle to get there is definitely minimized. I think there needs to be more conversation about the lack of emotional support for women in that era. (and any era really) I think Lady Danbury touches on it n Queen Charlotte, but there needs to be more (in real life - don't muck up the show with too much reality)
Okay about the marital act:
In season 1 I was SO disappointed in violet for not actually having the conversation with Daphne. Their whole conflict in season 1 was that there was no informed consent with either party and I truly feel that violet could’ve prevented that miscommunication had she just been sincere with her daughter. We haven’t seen more of those conversations in later seasons presumably because they’ve been the male children but I truly felt for Daphne in season 1. At least the featherinton husbands didn’t push their wives into sex when they clearly knew nothing about it, though Portia also clearly dropped the ball as well
Yeah, the whole conversation (between Daphne and Violet) of the marital act not happening at least after the wedding is CRAZY. I agree that season 1's major issue was Daphne not truly knowing how a child was conceived.
I want to also put some of that accountability on Simon. He assumed Violet had spoken to her. Like, did he not know those conversations were NOT normal too? Part of me really doesn't like that the husbands are meant to lead everywhere else but in the bedroom. And while Colin was super sweet his first time with Pen, I too believe he could have been more informative before they even started and emotions were high.
Information about the marital act is very important for both parties.
Lady Featherington is trying to survive. Lady Brigerton is trying to live. I understand how Penelope feels. My mom is always trying to survive. She cant just live and let me live. I have to create my life and my rules.
Same! Ugh! Just let me live! 😫
My mother has also been in that survival mode. It manifests as narcissistic mother like how Portia comes across in the show. Life circumstances make her colder.
When portia popped off at cousin jack in s2 i literally fell in love
She’s fierce for sure! 😍
I can see what you’re saying and I definitely feel a grace towards Portia because of her circumstances. I can even see her motivations, but I also don’t think that it completely justifies her cruelty. She created a toxic environment in her home, amongst her daughters. She basically gave up on Pen having the opportunity to find a suitor before she even had a chance. That’s where I struggle with the whole she wants what’s best for them argument. She never seemed to invest in Pen or believe she had value.
Violet on the other hand has cultivated a connection with all her children and sees value in them. She is a woman of strong character and I don’t think it’s fair to just mark her as a kept woman (like other commenters). She is so in tune with her children and their needs and she is never over bearing but provides wisdom. I feel she would be this way even if she wasn’t a Lady in society.
I think both women have their strengths and I understand Portia and I can even respect some of her choices, but I will always love Violet and how she mothers her children.
Hi, there! I think both ladies are good mothers. Portia’s treatment if Penelope was unacceptable. Violet cares to make relationships with each of her children, yes! She has a 1 up on Portia for sure.
Personally I think they are very similar women that have went through very different circumstances that resulted in the women we know and love.
Accurate! I have been mothered by women very close to these two characters and they both have made me who I am today, I take the good from the both of them and choose to leave the bad.
I will be able to be a little of Portia and Violet to my own children one day.
Honestly, this season 3 really made me like Portia in general, but I think they are both good in their own way.
She definitely redeemed herself this season. I loved it for all of the Featherington women.
I can't help but love Violet, I really needed an emotionally supportive mother growing up so it's pretty healing to see the love and care she shows her kids. But Portia is still doing her best to give her kids a good life even if it is through different methods and I'm glad we saw more of that this season
I agree! So happy to see more of Portia's soft side. Penelope has been able to essentially retire her mother in a way that she could have NEVER imagined. The character development has been fantastic for the Feathrington family as a whole.
Portia reminds me of my own mom in the sense that she wants whats best for our lifestyles. For example, I dated a guy who's family is well off and well respected, and share the same religious beliefs and manners. I didn't feel a strong connection with him like I do my boyfriend now, who isnt well off and does not share the same religious beliefs. My mom very outwardly prefers my first boyfriend because of the comfortable and respectable life I could potentially build with him. She is set on me choosing the options that will ensure security and comfort. The only ways she is like Violet is that I trust her to the point where I can tell her anything and she'll listen and give her honest advice, and she won't talk down on me lol. She lifts us all up to feel the most confident we can. I loved seeing these two mothers in action throughout the seasons it was so relatable
This was a really interessting read. Follow your heart girl! I truly only wish you the best in life.
Wow! Thank you for being personal with us. I think what draws most people to this series is it’s relatability. With so many different characters, everyone is bound to have someone they resonate with. My character is Penelope.
You’ve kind of got the best of both worlds with your Mom. A confidant and also someone that wants the very best for you and isn’t afraid to express those wants for your life. Many people don’t have that.
I think it’s also important to consider what kind of household they’ve fostered. Violet’s household is supportive, connected, and loving. While Portia’s is more distant, not to mention she encouraged or at least didn’t reprimand her older daughters when they would pick on Pen.
Precisely. The households were almost polar opposites.
Awesome video and I love your point about Portia operating from a place of survival. A fox will gnaw off its leg before remaining trapped; it isn’t “nice”, but it’s effective, and that strikes me as a Portia move.
Further, I’ve always felt that the Bridgertons are the equivalent of the trust fund kids studying Art History and Museum Curation all “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life”, whereas the Portia speaks to all the parents who didn’t come from generational wealth and told their kids, “learn a skill, or a trade. Become a doctor, lawyer; a job that pays. The thing you love to do is your hobby; your career pays the bills.”
Violet comes from generational wealth, married into landed aristocracy, has three sons lined up in succession to replace her deceased husband, an eldest daughter to help raise the younger kids, and lives off the interest of her fortune without ever so much as seeing the principal”. She can afford to “never work a day in her life!”, whereas Pen and her sisters are gonna have to grind.
And indeed, Pen does
You put this so eloquently. I couldn’t agree more. These scenarios you painted are exactly what we see in this universe. A privileged mindset and those who have their privilege hanging on by a thread and who must do ANYTHING to keep it in tact and remain secure. It’s such a miserable place to be in but is a reality for so many.
I also want to point something out about the age of marriage. They refer to Penelope, and Kate as spinsters. The average age of marriage for a woman actually was between 24 and 29 - NOT 16 or 17 as many people choose to believe. Unmarried at 26 or 28 would not have been as problematic as this show and others would have us believe.
Very insightful! Times have changed. I am glad that we as women are no longer bound by marriage.
@@JoiLouiseReacts Me too.
I think what I like about the both of them is , what one is lacking , the other seems to have and vice versa . I love Violet but she’s kinda docile with certain things , where Portia would be cut throat 😂😂😂. Also I love that you acknowledged that Violet has always had the privilege of just sitting in her femininity and not worrying about anything . I personally think Portia grew up with working class parents , she tells Penelope she married her dad for security so maybe she didn’t grow up with much , she’s in a way more masculine than Violet because she’s had to hustle like a man most of her life to keep herself and her girls afloat. They both love their children greatly , but different ways for different reasons.
Spot on! It’s masculine energy vs feminine energy. The two major differences between these two mothers.
I absolutely love Portia, she's pretty much the same as my mom. I think growing up it's difficult but once you get a little older and can talk to them more like "adults" you really see just how much they've done/sacrificed. Honestly, i was a bit fearful of my mom, as a strict and disciplinary parent, but at the same time even as a child i knew if i ever had a serious problem she would absolutely burn the world to the ground for me. Which for me was it's own type of affection. Yeah maybe we couldn't see eye to eye on every concern, but I knew damn well that I would ALWAYS have someone who would keep me safe and take care of me.
Also, can we talk about how hurt she sounded at how Penelope wrote about herself?? I know it wasn't out for this video, but even Colin never mentioned it. Portia really does care for Penelope.
Portia is a good Mom! I stand firmly on that. She is clearly FLAWED, but she really did the best she could with what she was given. I do believe she loves Penelope, but throughout the seasons you could see she struggled with showing it. They are so much alike, and them not knowing that about themselves made it so hard for them to grow close. I get so teary eye'd when I see Pen and Portia get close by the end of the season.
Team Portia >>>>
Okay, now! 🤭
Violet was starting to grate on me season 3. She doesnt seem to understand that love can grow in different ways and people are allowed to have more quiet personalities. I really dodnt like how she talked about the kilmartins sayong mot very nicely that theyre a rather "reserved bunch". Well sorry that not everyone is a bunch of loud mouths like the majority of your family 🙄 and telling Franny to get out of her comfort zone. There's nothing wrong with her. She doesnt need to leave her "zone" if she doesnt want to.
Yeah, Lady Bridgerton was in rare from this last half of the season. I almost didn’t recognize her. She usually knows her children VERY well but for some reason she missed with Francesca. 🤔
I LOVED this video! And I think I agree with your decision on “who was the better mother”.
In these Regency times where women were struggling just to have a voice, let alone any control over one’s destiny… you kind of need BOTH Portia & Violet’s point of views to see the world 🗺️ as it truly is.
Portia was always in survival-mode because she didn’t have the privilege of secure wealth & multiple sons like Violet did.
I always thought Portia introducing all three of her daughters to Society AT ONCE was a tad odd (whereas all the other mamas introduced one daughter at a time)… but after your video I realised that Portia had even MORE determination to succeed than the other families did.
Violet’s warmth & patience with all her 8 children was beautiful; but poor Daphne really suffered the humiliation of not knowing the truth about mens & women’s’ bodies. There’s that scene 🎬 in Season 1 where Daphne is quite sarcastic towards Violet, in regards to all her well-meaning metaphors about love & friendship… yet not giving her any tangible information in those flowery metaphors!
Ugh! You always write the VERY best comments! Yes, it was odd that all three girls were thrust upon the ton the same season. How was Portia planning to secure marriages for all three in one season against Daphne and Cressida?! Than the Sharma’s in season 2?! And Marina!!!! Guess she was playing the lottery!
@@JoiLouiseReacts Shonda Rhimes & her team knew exactly what stories about women they wanted to tell.
Even the “villains” in these Regency times aren’t really villains; they’re just desperate human beings trying to stay afloat in a world that doesn’t acknowledge them.
Even Portia has fought all this way FOR her daughters. She could have been the individual who jumped ship & deserted them; but she didn’t.
@TheGav67 this is so true! Makes me think of the King’s mother in Queen Charlotte too! 🤔
im sooo glad this video settled on both mothers being good in their own way- I was so scared that this video was gonna be like "Portia is the better mother because she had tough circumstances but *good intentions*" like I frickin adore how they wrote Portia, but no one can argue that the way she treated Penelope could be excused 😭
I tricked you with the thumbnail 😉 both are good in their own way and both have flaws. The video is just the conversation starter, the comment sections dives deeper thanks for viewers like you that care to connect these fictional characters to their real lives.
Being a mother is HARD. And we don’t get a rule book. Lol! But they e definitely both done the best that they can.
okay but even Eloise thought Penelope didn't even want to get married, and i think that might be the thought that Portia has as well
People change, much like Cressida earlier in this season, marriage was the only viable escape from her family that Pen could see. Marrying for freedom vs marrying for love are two very different things. Eloise could never understand Cressida and Pen in that regard. She lives a very privileged life. Both financially and family wise. Portia didn’t “see” Pen and perhaps assumed she didn’t want to get married. Penelope used to believe she couldn’t get married, especially before starting Whistledown. No one truly knew Pen. 😔
Eloise didn't notice because she didn't fully pay attention to Pen's feelings. But to be fair, Pen makes her feelings small and unnoticeable to those around her on purpose. Seemingly because she is a bit afraid to take up space because of how she was raised by her mother.
After hearing you break down these characters, I agree that Portia did the best she could with what she had. Violet had a much more stable and loving upbringing and lucked out by having so many children the first 3 of which were males that could inherit the estate upon her husband's passing. Now we don't know about Portia's upbringing or her life before her three daughters are of marriageable age. However, judging by her actions and the way she speaks to her daughters and others, I would say life has mot been very kind to her before or after marriage.
I would love to go back to the Queen Charlotte series and get a peak into Portia’s upbringing. I believe it would give here even more depth, you know?
I don't think Portia would've forced her son to take over all the responsibilities of the man of the house even with all that Violet went through. Like I just don't picture it. She would've prepared him and had high expectations but she FIGHTS for her children in a way I don't think Violet is capable of... I think all Portia's focus is on survival because Portia lives in a realer world a world where she's basically a single mother in a time where that is herculean. I actually disagree that she doesn't like Penelope... I think she sees herself in Penelope, she tries to snuff out her intelligence and creativity because those qualities do not serve in securing a safe match. I see SO MUCH of Penelope in Portia and I truly think if Penelope did not become Lady Whistledown she would've been Portia... probably worse actually.
Ooof! Pen turning into Portia would be frightening. I can agree that the two ladies are VERY similar.
I completely agree with you, Joi-Louise! I too am very empathetic and can easily see both womens points of view. I know Momma B has eight kids to move through the mart, but I too see Portia’s hustle and misfortunes that happen one after another. Do I think she is a bad person? No, I think she makes bad mistakes. She also needs to go to therapy, but that’s for another day.
Thank you for the work you do and congrats on almost 5K! 😊
You know, I kind of think Varley was a therapist to Portia. Almost an advisor. Which was so lucky for Portia. Both mothers had their pros and cons. Thank you for supporting this channel. It means the world to me.
Great analysis! My mom is a little of both. However, the interaction between Penelope and her mom was my childhood. Im still getting therapy and healing. Now that my mom is elderly, i see more of her intentions. I still wonder why it was so hard for her to see me though. I like how Penelope blazed ger own trail which in turn she became a little like her mom.
Same for me! My nana was Portia to a T! Very cruel with her words and harsh about the world around me. There are some good things I took from her, but at 37 I am still unpacking much of the mental harm she caused me.
@@JoiLouiseReacts My Mom wasn't as cruel as Portia but not too far away from it. What helped me was understanding that she gave me the best she could given what she received from her mother. As an adult I came to understand what shaped my mother and her siblings. I didn't get resolution until my mother was on her deathbed (literally) when she told me she was proud of me, and even then, when I went to hug her, she said "don't come over here with all of that." She just gave what should. I realized my mother never realized how much she was loved by her mother, by her husband, and even by me, her child. It took her getting sick and us taking care of her (she was fiercely independent somewhat like Portia in that) for her to realize she was loved, and sadly she never appreciated the great husband she had until the very end. at least there was closure even if it was within the last three weeks of her life. All of that to say, look at the family dynamics your Nana came from and see if that won't shed some light. Hope it helps. I didn't mean to overstep. Blessings!
24:27 I agree portia dropped the ball when it comes to pen.
* her accepting cressida's bs cause she taking it from portia as well.
* her personality (being a feeler) isn't validated. So she hides it behind LW.
But I think violet picked up the slack for portia in the raising of pen. She had a Feelers harmonious home to retreat to. And was surrounded by other freelers who were her tribe so to speak.
INFX ESTJ communication is difficult. But I think you learn to speak each others language. Well the INFX does anyways. If portia finds out about LW, thats your common ground. LW is contr*l, resp*ct,financial security. That the language portia can speak. Pen taking contr*l of her life,influence over others, resp*ct from the ton/queen, and lots of money. Now your talking portia's language.
And colin saying to portia what no one else dared to do but should have. To tell portia the perspective of her daughter.
* she is loved/lovable, why do you not see/say that?
* her being herself is accepted, why don't you?
* why so obs*ssed with standing and contr*l?
It forces portia to try and talk to pen in her language. Feelings. To tell pen how her marriage made her feel, how her being a mother makes her feel. WHY she wants contr*l and resp*ct. Thats ya common ground right there.
And if pen ever has a kid. Especially if its a boy that gives portia the financial stability she needs. And when she marries colin and gives portia the standing and respect she needs. Now you are talking portia's love language baby.
They couldnt talk about it, they needed to be completely “pure”, and being pure meant being ignorant of everything related to sex. If the man suspected, even on the wedding night, that she wasnt pure because she didnt act all surprised and naive, because she knew what to expect, they would leave her, disolve the marriage etc etc any way, the girl would be ruined, thats why mothers had to keep them ignorant so they were really “pure” for their future husband. Not even lady danbury would have taught her daughters.
Wow! I didn’t think about it in this perspective. Very interesting. Thank you for sharing.
2/3 of Portia‘s girls are in happy and very loving marriages and absolutely worshipped.
Pen…
Dates a f*ckboy,
And can’t really say I like the Bridgerton boys, or anybody in that family a lot
This is such an interesting take on the entire cast. I suppose which or Portia’s 2 girls are in happy marriages in your opinion?
I started asking questions when I was…. 10? About the birds and bees. My Mum was raised by a mother who didn’t think my Mum needed to know anything, so talking about it made her uncomfortable. So she went and got this magazine, about the top 100 questions kids and teens had about sex. It had funny cartoon comic illustrations, and it answered all my questions. My Mum was the real Mum. She did her best to keep me and my brothers informed, even when she felt uncomfortable herself.
I LOVE this! I think motherhood is about finding your own way to be the best mother you can be for your children. When she couldn’t “speak” with you about it, she went out and found resources to help her educate you on what you wanted to know. Now that’s a GREAT mother. 🥰
@@JoiLouiseReacts She has always been fantastic. My two brothers’ teachers actually tried to lecture her, because she told my brothers about periods. Her answer was, she was raising men, not misogynists. She wanted her boys to grow up knowing, so that their partners wouldn’t have to deal with a man child who can’t function around the female body. It worked. Both my brothers are actually pretty good at dealing with periods. My middle brother has a partner, and he literally goes and buys her her fave chocolate, makes sure they’re stocked up on pads, and fills hot water bottles when needed. It’s actually pretty heartwarming.
@@Lady_Blade_WarAngel THIS is beautiful! Ugh! A man who understands the emotional rollercoaster that is WOMANHOOD thanks to his mother. 🥰
@JoiLouiseReacts my father actually hates that hus sons know this stuff. He's... not a particularly nice human being. He and my mother are, obviously, very much divorced. But yeah, my Mum felt that my brothers shouldn't be ignorant about the ways of women. She wanted them to know. She felt that them being ignorant was simply wrong. Likecour father actually thought you would turn off a period, like a tap. She was just like "Not my sons. They are not going to be like this!"
@Lady_Blade_WarAngel I LOVE that your Mom elevated their perspective. I wish my husband was more sensitive to when I am on my cycle. He usually just asks “you need anything” 🤣 I’m like “I’ve cream, a hug, but don’t touch me, I want to cuddle but not for too long, I need rest, but I need you to sit next to me and watch this chick flick” and he’s so thrown by it that he usually runs away and plays gears of war. He thinks I’m CRAZY on my period. He doesn’t quite understand the layers of me every two weeks. Poor guy, but he wasn’t educated on it by his mother. She’s VERY old school.
I came across your channel and really appreciate your perspective. Deep diving into characters in the shows that I watch is something that's I've been exploring on CZcams and I've really been enjoying finding a community of people who respectfully offer an opinion or perspective and wants or encourage conversation with their subscribers. So, I would like to offer my opinion.
Portia understands her older girls, but not Penelope. To her, Pen doesn't have the qualities that would make her attractive in the marriage market. Pen knows that she's a disappointment to her mother in many ways. Pen not confiding in her mother that she wants to finally get serious about finding a match and changing herself to be more attractive says a lot. Pens distance from Eloise is really hard for Pen. She doesn't have the support system that Eloise has. Pen was able to benefit from her friendships with the Bridgertons in numerous ways. Being cut off from them was much more difficult for Pen to deal with than Eloise.
I think that Portia was in a very tough spot. Her husband was shady as hell. For hundreds of years, women of any social standing were expected to make a good match. Many were arranged for a variety of reasons. Love matches weren't that common among the nobility, aristocracy and peerage. Not having a son was probably a huge blow to him. I remember in that one ball, one of daughters anticipated match was shut down by the father. Her made some lame excuses for it, but we know that it was because he didn't have the money for the dowry. There was that time they went to the dress maker and they couldn't have anything made because they owed the Modist quite a bit.
I was glad that we got a greater understanding of Cressida this season. We see very clearly that she is seen as a financial burden by her father and doesn't understand why she isn't married and out of his house and wallet. Cressida's mother lack of care for her daughter is tragic for Cressida. I feel like under the guidance of some like Violet, she would've a diamond. Unfortunately, her bitter character because of her mother's similar character makes her unattractive. Also, the Hunger Games called and wants their wardrobe back. It screams high maintenance.
Sorry if I rambled too much.
Omg! The Hunger Game reference is ACCURATE! And the odds were NOT in her favor. 🤣 Inso appreciate you leaving your thoughts. Hope you stay and remain part of the community.
@@JoiLouiseReacts I definitely will! ❤️
3:13 question question, so I assumed Anthony took on the role of father because he was the eldest son and and therefore the viscount bridgerton who is in charge of all the bridgertons specially the sisters. He is meant to provide for all the bridgerton children born in his household. He is a patriarch in his family and I thought it kinda just was his responsibility based on the society norms of the time. So although I agree it was too much specially for an 18 year old I doubt his perspective at the time didn't go beyond thinking this was his duty... The reason the Fetherington women were having such a hard time with the death of their patriarch wasn't so much because they would miss him but because someone new would have to come take over his responsibilities and they didn't know if the new lord would take care of them, let them stay in their home or not but he had to pay the dowry for the fetherington daughters of the previous lord. So even thought jack had no money he still tried to provide as horribly as he did lol
This is true! Much like Portia, Jack was in survival mode too! Had Colin not found him out, who knows how things could have gone for the Featheringtons. Anthony never got over how his Dad left them. So suddenly and by something so seemingly harmless. I do think it caused much of his stubbornness in wanting to chose a bride early on and his misguided first choice for Daphne during her debut. Wanting too much to do what is honorable and not really looking at who he almost handed his sister over to.
Although we love them, the Bridgertons are all flawed in their own unique ways. They are perceived to be perfect but they are more kind than anything else.
Lady Danbury gave Queen Charlotte the talk, so I think she would have been great at it if she had daughters. She even gave Charlotte tons of sketches. It is baffling that lady Danbury could give this girl that is her Queen the talk and not be intimidated by it and these moms couldn’t is crazy.
THIS RIGHT HERE! I know right, not only did she have the talk, she drew it out for her! INSTRUCTIONS! Lol!
@@JoiLouiseReacts i love that she talked about how it might suck and be a chore. She did not sugar coat anything. And luckily Charlotte had great experiences with it.
I just watched your video and hadn't realized you had not seen part2 of season 3. I hope you have seen it by now. You are going to really like what they did with Portia's character in the second half. Hope you can revisit this topic once you have seen it.
Watching in the AM and editing this week! 😫
I think not better or worse moms, just different with different circumstances. Making a mistake of a poor choice does not condemn you if you truly regret it. We can all do better.
Every mother has their pros and cons for sure.
I can understand that porsha wants her children to be taken care of but the difference between Porsche and violet is that violet is that she is more kinder , loving and patient. Portia is starting to be like her own mother mean
I love this video. Your analysis is spot on. You are fantastic!!! Keep at it.
Hi, Sandra! Thank you for your kind words. More content to come! 🥰
Hi, Sandra! Thank you for your kind words. More content to come! 🥰
I really love Violet but Portia just has some growing to do, but girl it is so important to talk about the birds 🐦 and the bees 🐝 with kids. I kept facepalming every time haha. I fell bad for Pen too.
Yeah, Penelope was so unaware of what she was saying “Yes” to her first time with Colin and part of me did not like that for her. 🥲
@JoiLouiseReacts All of Portia's daughters were pretty clueless, especially Philippa. I hate how Pen was always overlooked too
Watching her in that first love scene was rough. When Colin asked her if she wanted him to stop, she had no idea what was coming next and it made me so sad for her. How can you decide on whether you want something or not if you don't know what your choices are. She thought it would only be what had happened in the carriage. Poor baby!
@JoiLouiseReacts do you think that's was Portia's responsibility, Colin's or both? I believe it was both tbh
I think it was both. Colin should have been VERY clear about what was about to happen before kissing and removing her clothes. Portia didn’t need to tell Pen anything until her wedding day. But she missed that with her two older daughters. Colin I was disappointed in for not making sure Penelope knew what was about to happen before they started. 😓
I like both characters, but for me it’s portia . The reason is she fights for herself and her girls no matter what it takes. I know she didn’t treat Penelope the same as the other girls, but what I liked was that she knew what her two older daughters would attract as suitors, so she never pushed and pushed. Where violet is only interested about passing them of to the highest ranking person. If it wasn’t for her children’s stubborn natures she would have been happy for them to marry the top dog. Also she constantly wants her daughters to be the bell of the ball to attract higher suitors.
Hello, there!!! While I agree with your assessment, both mothered are flawed. Portia’s treatment of Penelope was unacceptable. Full stop. She doesn’t necessarily get a pass because she was nice to her other daughters. She also never saw Pen until she caught the eye of Lord Debling. Portia did not believe in her daughters. She was way to hung up on her own expectations and experiences.
While Violet was also flawed she wasn’t cruel. Wanting your children to marry well is not wrong. But being cruel to and talking down to them is. Both mothers appear to want what’s best for their children, but what’s best for them is such a general thought and doesn’t work for each individual child. Violet wants a love match for all of her children because she knows it’s the purest and happiest form of marriage. But, it’s not necessarily what each kid will want.
Portia wants all of her daughter to find rich and wealthy men all while not realizing that her overweight and overlooked daughter was already a rich man. 😅
Violet for the most part can see what her children want and she seems to know each of them very well. She was able to catch Daphne’s love for Simon and Colin’s love for Pen. While Portia scolded Penelope for even thinking she could find a husband. In all honesty, Penelope‘s glow up and marriage to Colin shook her entire family’s identity. Prudence was filled with jealousy because she all of a sudden was no longer the favorite and her mother was now doting on Pen and scolding her for being mean to her.
While the older Featherington daughters were married, Portia missed no opportunity to remind them that their husbands were low hanging fruit. We love Lady Featherington, but come on now. 😅
GIRLLL !! The part 2 is out now , we want a part 2 reaction.💗💗
🤭 It’s on the works. I sit at my desk at work dying on the inside feeling so left behind. I wanted to stay up Thursday morning to reactors my reaction but had to work in the AM. Please bare with me as I am still working full time and turn around time for reactions is a bit longer at the moment. But it won’t be for long. 💪🏾
Violet definitely has better interpersonal skills and empathy with her kids. She knows their peculiarities better. However, she is also very privileged. She has that room to breathe, and certainly, Anthony gave her that room. Portia probably didn't have the room to breathe with her daughters. Had she dealt with less crises, maybe she would have had the time to see them better.
Agreed! Portia can’t rest in her feminine energy. She’s always on the defense and is constantly fighting to remain secure and set her family up for success. It’s a stressful head space to be in. Truly a fight for survival.
I don't think Portia chose Albian Finch for Philippa. I think that line was just her taking credit. Finch pursued Philippa on his own in season one, and his parents withdrew his courtship over the lack of dowry. Then when allowed to resume, he was all-in on his own accord. I don't think there was really any match-making. Albian and Philippa are a love match.
Love that!!!! I guess I am not shocked Portia took credit. 🤭
@@JoiLouiseReacts I re-watched that episode yesterday, and she took credit for securing the husbands. I see this as very different from arranging them. I think she meant they made it possible by securing the dowry money and keeping the family in noble society. Either way, Good job MOM!
@interlocution6619 got it! Thanks for the clarification here, love! 🥰
I was waiting for a video on who Violet and Portia because I find them to be very intresting foils of the other and you can understand why they are the way they are. Violet had a love match and Edmund did leave them a bunch of money so her kids have the freedom to explore or get married later. Portia married that in her words was a cruel man and left them
broke by gambling all their money. Portia had to get creative by embezzling. She is more realistic in the expectations of her daughters. While her daughters were also clueless about sex she did eventually explain it to them unlike Violet.
It’s intresting to look at them as foils. I believe Violet is the more loving mother I would want her as my mom but I think Portia would be better at giving life advice in the regency period
I have to say, if things go bad and money drops low, Portia is the momma you wanna have. She knows how to survive. That’s the truth! 🤭
@@JoiLouiseReacts Yeah I don’t think Violet could handle if they were suddenly broke
@mariaskabardonis8353 not one bit!
Yes. Violet would have what it takes to survive with a lesser quality husband if she had to. She is smart - She requested ADVANCED mathematics at a time when girls would have been more focused on their embroidery, music, and other accomplishments. She deferred to Antony only when necessary, and only because society, and the laws of the time dictated it. I think her brand of gentle parenting and love for her children would shine in any circumstances.
Hi, there! I am not sure book smarts would come into play here as much as cunning and ruthlessness. When your husband is a drunk and gambler, your daughter's dowries are gone and you have no male heir to carry on the family fortune after your husband passes, you may need to do some things that I don't believe are in Violet's character.
Though I believe Violet has it in her, I am not sure how she would match up to Portia due to life experiences, upbringing and character,
They have different life circumstances and it depends on what you're asking. If you're asking who was the better nurturer, provided warmth, love, peace, emotional safety and comfort to her children then it was Violet more so. Portia lived in survival mode and it hardened her.
Hey! Couldn’t agree with you more. This is the conclusion I came to at the end of my video. It’s harder to be a soft Mom when you’re in fight or flight mode.
I love Portia's character with all her pros and cons and motives. She definitely stands out more and is more memorable. However if I had to choose one of them to be my mother, it would be Violet.
Portia is a great character and has made great contributions to this cast for sure. I have mad love for her too! 🥰
@@JoiLouiseReacts yesss exactly
The featherington father attended a few balls in season 1- I think there were at least one or two. The one I recall for sure is the one where he came with Penelope and she wore her pink dress and spoke to Colin about it. I think he also came for one where Philipa went to meet Mr. Finch.
I will need to look out for this when I re-watch seasons 1 & 2.
Oh wow though, Portia fascinates me. I don't even think it comes down to 'good' or 'bad' parenting so much as a complicated mess of the people their personal lives turned them into.
I think a good deal of the ease Violet has also comes from the fact that she has /sons/. She has multiple children who can take on the Bridgerton name regardless of what happens, so she has the luxury of being kinder with her children's romantic options than Portia would.
It's likely about class to some extent as well. As much as it's pretty clear that the Featheringtons are supposed to feel like new money, they also come across as more newly titled than the Bridgertons. I mean, look at the way she presented her daughters at the same time (and thus early in Penelope's case). From a monetary standpoint it makes sense, but from a social one that's potentially /devastating/, the sort of thing that can ruin her daughter's lives if it doesn't go well. And ultimately, that's something that Portia should have instinctively known. The fact that she still went ahead with it shows that either she didn't grow up getting those sort of things drummed into her, or her desperation to have them married was so bad that it made her intensely careless with her daughters' futures, either of which is damning. The way Portia treats her children might be to get them well-situated, to get herself a comfortable spot up the social ladder, or, most likely, both, but for the most part it isn't great regardless of her motives. She clearly loves her daughters, but she reads to me as very smart and capable of dealing with some truly horrific situations, but who has never lived anywhere but on the edges of perpetual personal disaster which bleeds into how she approaches interpersonal relationships.
Mmmm…very well put. I appreciate you bringing your opinion to the conversation. Our circumstances definitely shape who we are as people and even our own parents give us indirect guidance on how to raise our kids. Newly titled or not, I’m not sure it gave Portia clearance to speak to or treat Pen the way she did. This is where some would stand to argue that she was a “bad” mother. Had Pen never experienced the Bridgertons (mainly Violet as a mother) who knows how she may have turned out. Even Cressida’s demeanor experienced a slight change when she befriended Eloise, the Bridgerton children are an extension of their parents and have the ability to impact others in a positive way.
I also believe kindness is a choice. Portia chose to change her ways, to bring her daughters together and to become a better person. It had a positive impact on her family in the end and it was so beautiful to see. Luxury and wealth can also allow people to be unkind, so I don’t want to give too much power to it when it comes to the ability to be kind. We see so much kindness in Varley this season and she is not wealthy but shows Pen so much love and is a source of reason for Portia.
Portia was forced to be the masculine energy all throughout her marriage and after Archie passed. It’s a do or die kind of place to be in for sure, but does not require belittling or bullying your child in the process. Why would Penelope want to be married when her example of a marriage was her parents? 🤣 *yikes*
Portia was not a good mother to Penelope until the end of this season. 🥺
Love this video, thank you for the nuance which is so lost in the internet spaces out here 💙
Hello, there! Thank you so so much! I really enjoyed putting it together and really shocked myself really finding “good” mothering qualities in Portia. Well worth the research. 🤭🥰✨🫶🏽
Everytime violet talks, she sounds like a child. Portia might be scheming, but she can scheme bc she has a better grasp of ppl and society. Violet grew up rich and went from her fathers protection straight to her husbands. Violet never had to worry abt the outside world.
Hello, Rebecca! Violet for sure lead a privileged life. It shielded her in a way that contributes to her flaws for sure.
I love lady featheington
She’s definitely a character! 🥰
Antony was first born so he is the are that's his place.. Benedict, the talented artist, Colin Middle child still trying to figure it through season 1 & 2 now he's a writer.
It can be hard feeling like you’re not living up to the role models in your own family. The father figures who seem to have it all together. I think if Colin knew how much his brothers “didn’t have it together” he’d ease up on himself a bit. As I am reading the book, I am realizing that finding his true purpose was such a big deal to him. Not sure how much that came through in the series.
9:35 I disagree. Portia Bridgerton would still want contr*l and resp*ct even if she had money. If she became the Bridgerton mom, I think she might get along with Anthony but Anthony wouldn't be Anthony then cause portia would be the one in contr*l leading the place. And portia would be bumping heads with most of the Bridgerton kids (the feelers), fran(infj), Benedict (isfp) and Colin (enfp) especially. Just look at 3x05 when portia interacted with colin. He saw through that and wasn't having any of it. Colin wouldn't be happy at home with mamma portia. Fran might also psych*analyse the sh^t out of portia and be able to handle or avoid portia. But simply adding portia would mess that dynamic up. Especially if the harmony creator violet disappeared.
But violet featherington would be a mess as well. Sure she would have a close bond with pen. They would basically be sisters. But the featheringtons money problems wouldn't be something violet would be able to handle well emotionally speaking.
What I like to see is a dynamic with a featherington- Bridgerton household with both portia and violet getting involved. Like my mother always said about her and my father "we complete each other". For day to day life, violet is your go to. For times of trouble call in the portia cav*lry.
I for one do not believe there would have been as many Bridgerton children if Portia was there mom. 🤭
@@JoiLouiseReacts Hey you never know, maybe mr. Bridgerton would have liked a portia. His son seems to like it. 😜😂 Maybe they would have had more kids. 😂
I think the featherington daughters, philippa takes after daddy, prudence takes after mom and penelope is a combination of both. Smart/cunning like mom/prudence but minus the cr*elty (unless they deserve it). But I think penelope takes after her dad. She is add*cted to the LW rush, the d*nger/thrill like daddy's gambling and boozing. She needs to be re^ghed in to not end up like daddy when she bites off more then she can chew (she already got in trouble with the queen for crying out loud and she just got started, she made so many enem*es with her LW). She is daddy's little girl alright. And portia dropped the ball there cause she should have seen that in her daughter, especially if she tries to hide it. But portia was more concerned with herself and how she was perceived to pay attention to the wellbeing of her daughters. Their lack of s*x ed was a testament to that.
@@maaiker2977 he might have! 🤭 the reference to Lord Featherington is interesting. I never looked at it this way before. The game that comes with being the real LW was definitely a dopamine hit for Pen.
@@JoiLouiseReacts also her going for broke and facing the queen was a huge gamble. Pen likes to roll the dice.
Just like her father!
you are a new fave! thx for your work !
Hello, Erin! Thank you so much for being here, and for pouring into this channel. You’re so appreciated, my dear! 🫶🏽
Yes, Portia had certain circumstances that she had to overcome that Violet Didn’t but I think we need to remember that Porsche also made things worse for herself because she is an unkind person. If She would’ve raised her daughters kinder and less dumb They may have had better matches. Also, she could’ve had a secure life if she wouldn’t have interfered in cousin Jack’s plans of Marrying Cresida Cowper. But because she thinks she knows everything‘s best, she shot herself and her family in the foot.
Not *less dumb*! The way that just made me laugh! Ugh! Portia also had to raise these girls on her own. Archibald looks like he was such an absentee father. Super hands off and focused on his own pleasures.
Portia is too concerned with how her family looks and not so much with the content of their character. A perfect storm of self centered, narcissistic women with no inclination to rely on and uplift one another. I was so happy to see that change by the end of season 3. Penelope REALLY changed the way the Featherington women saw themselves and the perceived limitations of the world they lived in.
The cousin Jack storyline was so good! A perfect example of how Portia didn’t think things through. And it carried into Season 3 where Pen again had to come save the day (and naturally she’s the one to birth the next Lord Featherington).
Hi Joi! I was really enjoying the video and your energy ❤ you have great communication skills and you are gorgeous too!
However as an epileptic person who is photosensible, I wanted to give you a little feedback if that’s okay. The filter that you put in some of the clips was really uncomfortable to watch and unfortunately, I can’t continue watching due to it😅 I thought it could be useful to share this intake with you so hopefully other people like me can enjoy the 100% of you in the future! Best wishes 😊
Hi, love! I recently heard this feedback from another person and todays video will not have this sound in it and neither will ANY of my videos going forward. I understand that this is a pain point for people and I do not wish for my videos to cause discomfort. I am very grateful for your feedback and hope
You can continue to enjoy my content going forward. 🥰
@@JoiLouiseReacts Hi! Thank you Louise, that's super thoughtful of you 🤗 definitively will continue checking your Chanel for the future videos! Is a type of sound effect that causes that image? 😱
Love from Spain!!
I think both the sound and effect are harmful to the sense for multiple people so I am going to find another way to add transitions to my videos going forward.
I'm saying that Violet was able to mourn because she parentified Anthony and Daphne
Hello, there! Many elder siblings do become parent figures, even when one parent is NOT gone. It's part of the dynamic of having a large family. But I am not 100% sure that even Daphne had the same pressures that Anthony did. Look at the second eldest, Benedict, he is struggling to grow up due to seeing how much responsibility and lack of freedom Anthony had.
Nice video. It was clean and kind. 😉
Hi, there! I appreciate this feedback. I want this channel to be kind and open to conversation around the mutual love for stories like Bridgerton. I went into this video thinking I hard the answer but as I humanized both Violet & Portia I realized they both were doing the best they could with what they had.
I don’t think it’s fair to compare them on their circumstances. Violet sees her kids as individuals and values each one of them, and she wants what’s best for each child. Violet is extremely resourceful and works damn hard to create opportunities. Violet combines these to be more effective than Portia. She’s genuinely the better mother because she - unlike Portia - makes sure her children feel loved and supported the entire time that she is working to provide for them. She builds her children to be confident, capable people who know who they are, support one another and can succeed on their own as well as with her campaigns. Violet, in Portia’s situation, would have done far better than Portia and much faster, with more grace.
Portia’s kids have no idea who they are, don’t look out for one another and don’t feel loved. Certainly Penelope has it the worst and would have already been married to Colin far sooner if Portia hadn’t spent her entire life telling her she as a person was worthless.
Gotta massively disagree with you here. A provider does not a mother make.
Appreciate your perspective love! Thank you for joining in on the conversation.
26:43 what I hope we get to see is the effect violet and portia in one family will have on one another. Sure violet will think portia is scammy. And to portia violet looks down on her.
But I think with a common goal (the safety and well-being of their kids/grandbaby) and time together. These 2 women might get to know and respect each other and rub off on each other a bit. They have things in common. I would like to see that. I would like to see violet teach portia to be more sensitive. And portia can toughen up violet a bit. Yes they will bump heads and portia will hurt violets feelings and violet will ann*y portia. But if they have to work together for some reason. It might surprise them.
I think they will grow to respect each other for sure. They both ended this season “working on themselves” I feel confident we will see more of them aligning as they did about Cub and Pen not getting along at the end of season 3.
@@JoiLouiseReacts Exactly. And I think portia might be more involved with pen now. Lets face it, the side pen hides aka LW, thats kinda like her dad...the gambling and add*ction...its just not subst*nces she is add*cted to. Someone needs to re^gn pen in from time to time especially cause now that she is out in the open she won't re^gn herself in as much.
This is so true!
Imma have to Portia because I’ve seen her in HBOs ROME and I would wanna be on her bad side.
I feel you on this one! 🤭 Portia is alright in my book. 🥰
Honestly, I don’t think Violet is a great mother to all of her kids. I can’t deal with her openly preferring some of them to others. Like, the way she treats Anthony and Eloise? 90% of her interactions with the two of them are criticism. Watching season one back after season two, I have so much sympathy for Anthony because everything he did was to help Daphne in his own way, and it is literally just met with the two women complaining. Keeping away guys he knows well enough to know they would not be the sort of husband Daphne wants? He’s stopping her from ever finding a match. Arranging a match with someone who he feels can safely provide security and won’t hurt her? He made a bad choice and should have known better (despite the fact I’m pretty sure the concerns about Berbrook were never raised with him beforehand, at least not on screen). This trend of always assuming and thinking the worst of him extends into season two. Violet genuinely seems to resent him for the crime of not being his dad, something that was touched on a little more in season two (though not enough to darken the tone of the show). And Eloise fully just hides behind her sisters so she doesn’t have to deal with her mum’s expectations, something that is made clear in the show on multiple occasions. Violet begrudgingly accepts that Eloise doesn’t want the life expected of her just yet, but she doesn’t drop it completely. She ignores Benedict and doesn’t believe Francesca when she falls in love with John. I don’t think she’s a bad person, but I don’t think she’s a good parent. At least, not to all of her children. I think she is a person with flaws that probably should’ve been dealt with a hell of a lot sooner, because it’s her kids that end up suffering. I believe there was a throwaway line in season two (and if not I have the most vivid memory of something that never happened) about her having PPD until Hyacinth was 4 and basically leaving Anthony to do everything. Again, doesn’t make her a bad mother to all of her children, but I wouldn’t say she’s a good mother to all of them either.
Love your perspective on this. It humanizes Violet. You’re absolutely right. Perhaps she has not been a good mother to ALL of her children. But who could be? There are 8 of them!
29:26 I just found you this morning. New subscriber here! I love your voice, and hearing your take.
Hello, there! Thank you so much and welcome to the family!
What's Violet gonna get if she was married to Mr. Featherington?
Guess what, depression
For sure! 😩
I think Portia is specially harsh on Penelope because she reminds her of a younger version of portia , this is just my point of view.
I agree with you! They are the most alike out of all of the daughters. Super cunning and intelligent. They know how to survive and thrive in even the most difficult conditions.
My mom had 5 children and NEVER gave me “the talk” either. Idk, she was of strict Catholic faith. I guess she was old school as well.
Hi, Erica! Same, the women in my family were super religious and the talk was more of “don’t do it because you’ll get pregnant and the Bible says that’s not good”. It wasn’t an actual conversation but more of a threatening warning. 😫 I don’t believe schools should be the ONLY place where we learn about the birds and the bees. At least on a spiritual level we should know what it means to give yourself to someone. Especially right before your wedding night. 💁🏾♀️
Agreed! Although, I didn’t even get in health class. Unfortunately I ended up learning on my own. The discomfort & awkwardness needs to end. I know that I wished I was better prepared.
@Erica-wy8zx same for me! It was a bit traumatizing my first time. Just wish I’d have been better informed too.
Portia is tough but she's a RIDER!!! Shes gonna take care of her girls. They might be emtionally damaged lol but she know how to keep a roof over head
🤣 that she does!
The marital act… with the beautiful gowns, incredibly wigs, and bigger than life personalities, we forget that Bridgerton is attempting to some extent to follow the books and customs from the time. Discussing sex was just not done at the time, very vague answers were provided by mothers if daughters asked… or were otherwise completely ignored. Pregnancy was not discussed either, women seldom told their own husbands about their pregnancies and would just drop hints or wait for the guy to figure it out by seeing their growing bellies. Pregnancies were not even discussed in writing among female family members, it was considered vulgar to do so. The only ones who were constantly worried with pregnancies and discussing such matters were royalty since an unconsummated marriage could be annulled and whatever treaties had been agreed upon disregarded. But every day people did not discuss sex or pregnancies. During the regency era it was not known the roles of sperm and eggs played in reproduction; hence so many men with illegitimate children floating around while their wives might remain childless at home. These would be things not discussed or even agreed upon until the end of the century (think 1880s). Menstruation, sex, and pregnancy would also remain taboo topics for the most part until the early 1900s.
The problem with the show is that they freely discuss Kate’s and Marina’s pregnancies, Rose the lady’s maid somehow has managed to figure out reproduction about 60-70 years before experts have and was able to explain it all to Daphne, and all the couples are shown having sex in just about every place imaginable. So when they try to throw in the one thing that was historically accurate, keeping one’s daughters and sisters as ignorant of sex as possible, it seems weird and is viewed as bad parenting when really, it’s the one thing that is historically accurate in the whole mess. I had a hard time watching this show until I began to see it as a fantasy world no different than Harry Potter or Twilight, so I can accept the discrepancies without losing interest. For more accurate representations of the era Jane Austen films are good.
Hello, there! Thank you for your in depth comment. I am aware that this was how things were, but find a hard time grasping that for a lot of the world, it is STILL the way things are. Now, I get that for the regency era this was just not the way things were done.
I wouldn't say it is bad parenting, but as a woman, I want my daughter to know what is going to happen to her body and for her to not feel blindsided like I did. Fantasy or not, it is our job to make sure our children are as prepared as possible in all aspects.
Lady Danbury was able to "draw it out" for Queen Charlotte and I went up for that scene. It doesn't need to be a big deal, but the daughters should be able to ask questions of their mothers and not leave their bodies and the knowledge of what they can do up to men.
Times have changed but it is so strange that we seem to be so far behind when it comes to this topic. Thank God for aunties, female teachers and big sisters. Lol!
@@JoiLouiseReacts no I totally get it, but that’s why I also said it seems so weird to us now because the show is not historically accurate and I think some people do actually think it is. I personally love the clothing but none of it is historically accurate. Some of those dresses would take decades to make, some colors wouldn’t have been worn at all because the dyes didn’t exist for them yet, etc. the part that stood out to me the most was the views on sex and pregnancy and you’re the first person I’ve seen address them. Again only because so many modern things are put in there that the historically accurate customs give us whiplash. 🤷🏻♀️
I appreciate your insights and it's great that my video resonated with you. This show is definitely an oxymoron or magic and nonsensical drama. Lol! But I LOVE a little silliness and inaccuracy here and there. Reality is bleak.
I think that there is no doubt that Violet is the best mother; just by the way she cares about each individual child. But, we need to give Portia her graces too due to her circumstances and how protective she is too her girls.However, I also think that would Violet be in the same situation, she would have similarly and as she should, care more about her children having a house, money etc over love. But she wouldn’t have treated any of her children the way Portia treated Penelope.
I agree! Penelope was treated horribly by Portia. I believe it stemmed from lack of self love. As much as she cares about social standing, you'd have to think Portia doesn't really love herself. Those that do, care about how they are perceived, but not just on a material level. They care what kind of character they present and how they treat others. You can't truly show others love until you've loved yourself.
Portia and Penelope are so alike. Intelligent in their own rights. But Penelope channeled her mother's side into LW. I believe Pen was able to split her dualities because spent so much time with the Bridgerton family. They taught her the kindness and selflessness she never would have learned from her family. But Portia helped Penelope create her LW persona. Where else could she have pulled it from?
Personally, not a fan of how violet basically shut down when losing her husband. Don't get me wrong, it is understandable, but when you are a parent, you don't have the luxury to shut down, u gotta keep going for your kids. It felt very hunger games in that moment in season 2, only difference was the wealth keeping them afloat. Parentifying Anthony was probably Violet's biggest mistake. Also don't get me wrong, society kind of thrust that onto him as well, since they weren't listening to what violet wanted during her labor, so that is on society there, but what happened after was on violet for that part of Anthony's trauma.
I agree! I don't believe Anthony even had a chance to really grieve his father the way a son would. He become an instant Dad and Viscount over night. It's so hard to blame Violet though, postpartum mixed with grief is an ungodly combination. I would NOT want to go through it alone. Violet is complex and flawed, much like Portia, she did the best she could with what she had.
@JoiLouiseReacts Is also obvious how the Bridgertons girls had to rely a lot on Daphne even though she was way younger than Anthony
Portia is basically the Kris Jenner in the Bridgerton universe. She's always trying to put her daughters on which I respect. Portia isn't my favorite, but I respect her hustle and in her situation, she has no choice but to have thick skin. She had to become the father and the mother to her children, especially after her husband's death. In that time period when your husband left you nothing and you have no heir to your family's name, you can't be weak. She has good intentions just like Violet it's just her delivery needs some work. Part 2 she does redeem herself which I love. Violet has the opportunity to be soft and feminine because she doesn't have any worries. She lived a privileged life and I'm not mad about it, I love that for her. Even in Queen Charlotte Lady Danbury told Violet she was very fortunate that she was loved and Violet had a hard time understanding where Lady Danbury was coming from. It was some ignorance in her of not fully seeing how she lived a soft lifestyle her whole life and never experienced struggle. I equally respect both mothers they care for their children, and the only difference is how they go about it. I want the show-runners to make another spin-off show just like they did with Queen Charlotte but have the story centered on young Violet and young Edmond. I want to see how their story came to be and how they became the Bridgertons I would also want to see young Portia and young Lord Featherington in the series as side characters to see the whole dynamic of both couples and their upbringings so we can have a better understanding on why the families are so different from one another. I love your videos BTW can't wait for you to see part 2.
I wish for this too! I’d also love to add Lady Danbury to the mix. See how she lived raising her children on her own and befriending Violet. I hope we get something while we wait for season 4 of Bridgerton.
@@JoiLouiseReacts I would love to see that too, cuz we barely see lady Danbury with her children.
According to the first book, Lord Featherington was already dead, and that is why he wasn’t present.
I’d love to see his interactions with his family when the girls were children. I need an OG Bridgerton love story with Violet & Portia. 🥰
@@JoiLouiseReacts we got to ask the Archieve of our own (A03) writers. They would certainly make this a reality.
@tori688 Let the campaign begin! 🤭
violet is able to be the soft nurturing mother because of the male support she had in her life. Portia reminds me a lot of my own mother. These types of women had to earn their place in society and were not granted the luxury of having a reliable male figure (be it father, husband or brother). although I like Portia, I just wish she was kinder to Penelope. Albeit peneople is shorter and fatter than the rest of her daughters, she is still her daughter. She could have helped her lose weight to become more healthy without insulting her or making fun of her. Also dressing her in childish colors was completely to infantlize her. In a way when Portia told Penelope I hope you stay with me it shows Portia is scared of being alone and wants Penelope to stay with her because she knew her husband was awful.
Hello there, than you for commenting! Losing weight is one thing. Teaching Pen to love herself is another. I don't think it is healthy for one to hyper-fixate on their weight. When you truly love yourself, you learn to take care of yourself from the inside out and the weight loss will be a byproduct of that transformation.
Penelope may have been visually different and not what society expected her to be, but this is what made her the boss she was. Portia did not have the time to focus on Pen's weight while in survival mode. Every decision was life or death, had she tried to focus on it, she may have made it worse. As an overweight woman myself, I can attest to negatively focusing on a child's weight backfiring and causing them to spiral into obesity.
Teaching self-care, healthy habits, and good living will better equip your children to live fuller nutritious lives. We see Pen eat the ice cream at one of the balls after having yet another social blunder of a moment. She eats the ice cream so fast that it makes her brain freeze. She is eating her feelings and looking for comfort from that food at that moment. The healthier action to take would have been to simply see the offender at that moment for who that was " a non-factor". But food has been her only comfort. No one else has ever spoken life into her until Colin.
Why people are overweight is often about more than just dieting and about how they view themselves and how they deal with the opinions and actions of others.
Honestly I started to hate the writers. Daphne didn't get proper Sex Ed from Violet to have that stupid r*pe of Simon and Daphne being violent towards him.
"inserts himself where?" was just a joke...
Both Eloise and Creseda (her redemption arc was botched) became (more) monsters towards Penelope, so she has to reveal her secret identity.
I am so annoyed with the writing...
I completely understand your perspective on this season. And on the scene in season one with Daphne using the bedroom to draw out the truth from Simon. It all is VERY strange indeed. I was uncomfortable with that scene and was so unsure why for the longest. You just confirmed why. She should NOT have done that to him to find out the truth. She could have just asked with the knowledge she got from her maid on the marital act.
I don't think lady Danbury was a good mother o really cared for her children. She had them out of obligation. We see on queen Charlotte that the boy didn't feel comfortable with her plus the fact they are never around and she says she is lucky they are far...😢😅
Hi, there! I have to disagree, we did not really get to see her mother her own children, but she did an exceptional job with Simon. Coaching him through his stutter, looking after him when his father abandoned him. I do think bringing children into the world by force is hard to do. Her husband was gross and her children may remind her of him. We must remember that she went through so much with Lord Danbury, I do not believe she was cruel to her children, but I can understand not feeling an attachment to hem based on how they were conceived.
@@JoiLouiseReacts thanks for your reply. I appreciate your point of view. I wonder if the books give us more details about lady Danbury. Would love to see more of her and a spin off with both Lady Danbury actresses.
Agreed on the spin off! Lack of back story is also why I went a little easier on Portia in this video, we don't know much about her history. We got a little more back story for Agatha this season with her brother, which I loved. Sounds like their Dad was NOT a nice man.
@@JoiLouiseReacts I appreciate your videos and feedback. I may have judge her harshly. Just saw a short of Lady Danbury with her boy and she is telling him how much he matters. Looking forward to more videos on your channel and praying they give us something more. I can't wait 2 years! 😭
The two year wait is NASTY work! I hope we get something in between that time too.
Make a video about Eloise as a friend?
I would LOVE to! But I am trying g to find a way to gauge where this video should live. On the channel? Or on Patreon? We will be going in reacting to Ginny & Georgia soon but Bridgerton has my heart. 🥰 Eloise as a friend is a conversation worth having for sure. Perhaps I can do it before the end of Summer. 🤔
Ok this is an interesting topic.
Personally my dad has the same personality type as portia (estj). And my mom was esfj like violet. Both types have its plus sides and down sides. But in portia's case there is also some narc elements going on. But lets stick to just look at their personalities for a sec.
Portia:
She wants contr*l and to be the head of the household and to be resp*cted (that's an estj thing). They wanna feel needed. They think feelings are we*kness and you are whining if you express them. They are more "if you have a problem, learn to live with it, do something about it but don't sit there whining about it" kinda people. Thats cause feelings is low on their function stack. Its not the language they think in, h^ck they don't like it. Not your feelings and especially not having to deal with their own.
Brightside, they run a tight ship and when sh^t hits the van they will remain calm and fix it. They are organised, efficient with money on the mind.
Violet:
They sacr*fise themselves for the ones they love. Family wellbeing, harmony and traditions are important. But they are constantly worried (about those loved ones) and in their feeling.
How these types will be perceived will depend on the personality type of the perceiver. But speaking as an INFJ I can understand Pen, who is an INFP.
Downside to both types of mothers which will effect their kids is that portia wants to be in contr*l, lead and be resp*cted. Which can lead to them needing for pen to BE contr*lled instead of learning your kid to claiming self ownership,be referential and not talk back if portia is disr*spectful and emotionally h*rtful or dismissive of feelings. So pen learns to disregard her own feelings and take the bs from cressida. And pen has feelings high on her function stack, she literally doesn't talk in the same language as portia cause portia doesn't do feelings. So portia thinks pen is we*k. And romance, love, feelings, being creative are all thinks pen loves and portia thinks is we*k bs. It makes the interaction more difficult.
Violet on the other hand is great with feelings and harmony in the household (no wonder pen loved being there, they speak her language). Downside to violet is when she isn't in balance and is in her feels she will lean on others. In this case, Anthony. A burden Anthony shouldn't have to bare. You become your parents parent.
Ok security being romantic to an estj. Yeah it is romantic if your partner wants to provide you with financial security. But I think emotional stability and freedom also has its marrits.
Hey, love! Are you able to break down the acronyms for me? I’d like to fully understand your beautiful comment. 🥰
@@JoiLouiseReacts Sure. They are personality types used in MBTI. They have tests online and everything and MANY channels on CZcams discussing it. Its fascinating. I only learned about it myself later in life and oh boy does it explain a lot. Cliffnotes version the letters stand for,
*Extrovert or Introvert (do you get recharged by being with people or does that drain your energy). Fran Bridgerton is an Introvert, I think INFJ. Unfortunately for her most of her family are Extroverted and boy do they drain her. Its why she felt lonely in their company cause she is the only one getting drained. The others don't understand that. 😜😂
*iNtuitive or Sensor (are you in your head or an in the moment kinda person). I am the "I have a bad feeling about this" person (N). My mom was a "don't ruin your now by worrying about something that might not happen" person (S).
* Feeler or Thinker (Thinkers are more analytical, efficiency...Anthony,Kate, portia,lady tilly. Feelers are more in their emotions. They are more concerned with how they feel and what others need to make them happy. Oh good g'd colin is a major Feeler. He is non stop concerned with pen's feelings. Even the way he looked at her reaction when they were intimate. You would think thats THE moment to think of his own feelings. But no he aims to please. Colin is Feeler. 😂 And based on his need to travel I am going with ENFP for this one.
* Judgers or Perceivers(Judgers tend to be the organised type, they wanna create order, perceivers are more all over the place).
This is the basics of MBTI. It matters how your function stack is and stuff. But this is the basics. Its handy to get to know yourself and others who are not like you. If you know someone's type you know what they like and don't like, how they tick so to speak. So you can better understand others and maybe learn to speak their language.
In western tv/movies the main cast tends to be Extroverts. I liked the Chinese series cause the main couple are Introvert. Ten Miles of peach blossoms is about an infj female and an intj male. How often is that the star in a western movie? Hardly ever. Usually the infj is Dumbledor or lady Galadriel, the mysterious silent one that talks in riddles who guides and protects others from behind the scenes. In Ten Miles you are in the head of the INFJ. Finally someone's way of thinking I can relate to!
They also use MBTI in writing books or tv, to create complex characters that make sense. Unfortunately there are many stereotypes about each type that don't have to always be correct.
@@JoiLouiseReacts This guy has a funny and informative channel about it.
czcams.com/video/rSPYEbDhAhM/video.htmlsi=Rj4mM7zKlS893XjC
This is basically pen/infp, the introverted version of colin:
czcams.com/video/KkbQiDkAtu0/video.htmlsi=LlLgh17vqBLg7zlc
Basically Anthony/ENTJ:
czcams.com/video/FPujb88v_dA/video.htmlsi=nNNc7zDfXo-CDkpW
Colin/ENFP, he even brought the special brownies home with him. The easily excitable part was on full display with the proposal thing, like a true ENFP he had an idea and ran with it immediately. He is like a little tornado of feelings he just wants to express 😍🤣:
czcams.com/video/kcg9Q2a1U3Q/video.htmlsi=iCupMY-GWYZYMVvZ
Fran/infj (me). Its why fran got along with pen, INFJ and INFP, very simular. And I have a feeling her love interest will be an ENTP, classic combination with the INFJ:
czcams.com/video/oM5HpZr6WCY/video.htmlsi=9sk2Syu3WtBdN_3J
And last but not least ESTJ/portia. Really recognisable, I know a bunch of ESTJ's 😱😮💨:
czcams.com/video/bEdLF6GA2bI/video.htmlsi=eWKxOSIsYrf7PhEh
@@maaiker2977 omg! This is so helpful! Thank you for being patient with me in this. It helps me understand your input to this conversation so much more. You’re also educating me. 🤭
@@JoiLouiseReacts you're welcome. I only learned about it myself while recovering from a narc during the beerbug period. I had some time to do a deep dive into psychology. It was fascinating. Funny some people also use it as a dating to^l. You know which type blends with your type and which you should probably stay away from. It can also predict the most likely conflicts in your relationship. Its fun cause I always thought the guys that hit on me are so simular. Now I realise I attract a surten personality type. 😂
I don’t think she was a bad mom. A lot of moms become like her when the husband or father present isn’t doing his diligence. She don’t have the energy to emotionally intelligent and manage their household.
Straights facts! An absentee parent throws the entire child rearing thing off path. My mother and I used to argue a lot. She had to be mom and dad for me and my brother and it was NOT easy. I always wondered why she and I would butt heads but this is why. Her energy was low and she was barely hanging on.
In the books, Lady Featherington is already a widow.
Aaaaahaaaa!!! Was her husband true to the Lord Featherington character we see in the series? Does the written form mention the type of man he was?
@@JoiLouiseReacts honestly I don’t think so…just a line here or there. No point do the Featheringtons recount a story about him. Not like Kate or Anthony do in their book.
@neripotts6047 Interesting, may have been a miss NOT to mention a bit more of Portia’s back story to give her character some depth beyond the aggressive mother, you know? Perhaps this is why they brought him into the Netflix series.
Your coils are so defined and lustrous. Gorgeous to the point of distraction.
Appreciate the compliment my love. 🫶🏽