How to Stop Worrying About Things You Can't Control | Jordan Peterson
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- čas přidán 10. 09. 2024
- There are often things we can't control. Either things that might happen in the future, or even the death of our love ones. Jordan Peterson teaches us how to stop worrying about those things that might happen or might not happen. #worry #anxious #depression
Watch the full video here:
• April 2019 Q and A
I can't stop playing out worst case scenario.
I'm all with you there 😓
Same
Yes I live in constant fear I have made myself literally sick and dysfunctional worrying about worst case scenarios...
It is a defense mechanism to help your ego
2 Corinthians 10: 1-6 deal with the thoughts, Romans 12:1-2 and Mark 7:21
When you don't listen to your alarm systems, they amplify their signal and repetitiveness.
Plus, then you can't even identify the signals.
This is fucking GOLD.
2:57 all the time 'what if' was negative for me, thinking of bad stuff. It made me think positive for a second, what if i would just be happy, the thought of that was so nice.
Similar with Buddhist principles: there is freedom in accepting that suffering is inevitable. Expect that it's going to happen so that you wouldn't be so stunned when it eventually comes
@Pat Higgins I see your point, it's like reading the end chapter of a book first. But it gets easier to go through all the processes of grief when you know what's to come, and you get to appreciate what you have right now
Yay!
He explains pretty much what meditation is about
Ugh that was heartbreaking to watch but meditative at the same time. I can imagine Peterson was likely contemplating on losing one of his beloved family members. Meditation is certainly not pretty and you know you're doing it wisely when it's laced with horrific propositions whilst laying out platforms for hope and solution to learn and improve the hypothetical or concrete situation.
I love this man so much, since the first time I came across his speech, and now I can see why.
That's one extraordinary gentlemen, intellectual, deep, yet so eloquent and explain the point so simple and pure.
I love him so much!
Oh, I love him like a human being, with grateful, healthy love, I don't want to be wrongly understand. 👏♥️🌹
It is not only the worry that something bad will happen, It is the belief that something bad is actually happening. I have ROCD. As a result I suffer from obsessional jealousy. I see ghosts everywhere. But some of these ghosts may actually be real. What really hurts is the not knowing. Better to imagine all ghosts as real and deal with it that way. Of course this is not the best for the relationship since one is always doubting the sincerity of the other person. It is nearly impossible to have a positive relationship with ROCD. The trust is not there, even though there is no reason why it should not be. I feel hopeless.
I've had a problem for decades with severe overthinking and repetitive worrying.
Recently Ive started doing something similar to his suggestion. When I get a worry I make a quick note on paper. Then I distract myself and leave the worry on hold, until 6:30pm. At 6:30 I spend 10 mins thinking in detail about the worry and making notes on the problem, how it makes me feel, what I might do etc.
I do this daily.
This is starting to work for me. Although putting the worry on hold is sometimes very hard.
When I get to 6:30 I often find the 10 mins is too long, the worry has lost a lot of its power.
You have to be disciplined and work at this for weeks for it to really help you.
I've just started doing this after listening to a radio programme about the topic. The presenter on the radio called it 'daily worry time.' Like you've said, it seems to be nigh on impossible to postpone those worries until the scheduled time, but I'm trying very hard.
@@rstevens7711 did this worked out for you?
@@sev8538 I appreciate the inquiry. The truth is, no. I keep moving from this approach, to mindfulness, to meditation, to CBT. Perhaps I'm not giving any of these approaches enough time, but I have done literally thousands of hours of meditation and mindfulness. For the first time in my life, I'm looking to speak to someone about it, but I'm frightened of doing that.
@@rstevens7711 My problem is that im really afraid to speak infront of people than to people and since im in school i have to do presentaions and stuff and this really scares me more than anything.Now that i have to do these things in the future it worrys me a bit. Ive also tried many things but i just cant stick to meditation,journaling and this type of stuff to really see benefits.
i hope we will find solutions to our problems and will heal from or problems.
@@sev8538 Is there anybody in your school that you are able to talk to? Or have you tried that with no success?
I lost my son 4 months ago and I would not be here without God! What Mr. Peterson is saying is Biblical, whether he knows it or not, but you don't have to go through it alone.
He’s such a great teacher. So helpful.
Excersises shown here:
1. Have a hefty breakfast for at least two week, high fat, usually diet has a lot to do.
2. Play your scenarios in your head, all through. Calm yourself down completely, watch your thought even if it's horror, make sure you see what's in the end since you're facing the event itself, might have to do it more than once, when doing it becomes mundane you're done of escaping when they manifest, when you escape they're identified by "SELF" as an alarm system used to amplify and increase the response to other stressful situations, worries being recategorized and repeated.
Bless you Dr Peterson.
I have a mad amount of respect for this man! Thank you
This is me, slowly destroying myself with crippling fear of harm coming to my children. I see danger everywhere. I don’t want to hold them back so I keep it to myself but inside I’m eaten alive with fear for their safety. It’s relentless.
It’s amazing how we realize that this worry isn’t warranted….. yet we keep doing it. I worry about every aspect of my son. He’s as close to perfect as a kid can be….. and just the idea of him growing up and leaving can make me cry to myself. I’d give anything to love him like I do now and worry on a RATIONAL level.
I really needed this video
One of the best videos I came across
I wish I would have found this video a couple of months ago! Thank you for sharing
“You may be more depressed than you should be”
Well seeing that my doctor put me on Abilify in 2020 and it stopped working after a week or two… I’d agree 😅
Also he stopped proscribing me ANYTHING for depression or anxiety… I still struggle.. every day
How are you feeling now?❤️
wish i could show this to my teenage self
at that time i was HORRIFIED by the though of earthquake,war,deseases,...
I'm actually dealing with them right now
thank u dr peterson for impacting on my life so much...
I am in my 20’s, I have that problem now. Wars..
@@gijswatzeels7429 Same, i am 14, and that thing is on my mind 24/7, can't sleep, can't eat, can't be happy, i am scared for my family..
@@GachaHoneyMoon I don't have this anymore man. In 2020's I was scared as hell. Now I truly see that you must never worry about things you cannot control. This sucks your energy!! We don't live on a planet where war's don't exist. It has existed since the humans exist. So don't worry. Enjoy life ! Be the best version of yourself and take care of your family and your loved ones. Let the fear of your past make you a stronger man !! Take the gym and go chase your dreams, be the best version of yourself. So that nothing can stop you, the strongest will always survive. With or without war, so arrange that you are amongst the strongest. Some greets from the Netherlands (:
@@gijswatzeels7429 Thanks man, it gotten better since the time i commented but it's still hard, yk what's funny? i got to knew that there was suppoised to be a "WW III" in 2020 when 2022 was starting lol
@@GachaHoneyMoon Yes lol. It will be okay bro ! We are strong.
My dad hasn't found a job in over a year, and neither has my mom nor I. We're really broke; I don't even have money for toothpaste. Fortunately, I just found a job, but I had to give up on my dreams to get it. Still, we really need the money. In addition to all that, I have a chronic knee illness that makes walking and working very painful, but I've gotta tough it out. I just take a lot of pills and go with it. My dad's a drug addict and eats a lot, so it's hard to keep enough food around and also have a good relationship with him. He lives with my mom and me and we are very scared of him. To top it off, my boyfriend left the country, so we split after 6 years together. My life is falling apart, and I don't know what to do. I feel like I’m collecting ashes and trying to rebuild my life with specks of dust. I know there's nothing I can do to solve this issue. I just want to feel content with the life I have now. I want to accept that this is life and there's nothing I can do to improve my situation.
Wow!
Just what I've been looking for
great technique. in part how emdr and toltec recapitulation works.
i found that the issue with compulsive thinking, ironivally, is not thinking it through. just like Peterson said.
good meditation and vipassana as well. very effective.
So many need to hear this
He has saved my life period
We're all going through this. It's some extent I don't know why people don't want to talk and go to group as much as it used to the covid thing really kind. Of messed with people's minds
Me too
Definition OCD he describes. And definition way to treat it. Nice JP! 👍
Oh my god you are just amazing 😻
What about when its something thats certain not a what if? How do you stop worrying?
You're the best 👌 👍
Thx Jordan!
I’m suffering from impacts from Covid and last year I developed horrible insomnia and had a break
I’m now on a benzo for 8 months for sleep and a recent detox and cold turkey did further damage to my brain
I’m scared
Me too
It has affected a large portion of people if u ever want to talk it would be cool
Jordan...I'm here for reassurance man 😳🥺😦😧😰
I know what you mean. What I really took away from this was that voluntarily thinking of the worse case scenarios gives you some semblance of control. Letting those scenarios play out, one at a time, allows you to recognise that fear is normal because we are hardwired to listen to fear. Anxiety and fear are similar, but different. Fear has helped keep the human race alive for millions of years; anxiety, when allowed to overrun you, prevents you from truly living. It takes courage to face the worst case scenarios because they paralyze us with fear, but playing them out, can give us back control and the emotional responses that we have to those scenarios calm enough that we can confront them without feeling paralysed by fear. I know it's a long answer, and probably isn't anymore reassuring than what Mike said, but I'm only at the first step of this. My birthday is in a matter of days and any thoughts of future events paralyze me. I can acknowledge that it is mostly over the lack of control; I don't know what life holds for me, and I worry that all of my experiences that have made me who I am will disappear with my death and it makes me feel cheated by this finite existence. But I will not let that control me.
I wouldn't mind exchange numbers or talking to someone Else because you're not the only one
viendo esto un día antes de que juegue la seleccion por mi propia salud mental
So i after that i realized i don think im supposed 2 exist n that world thats not 4 me cuz the peaceful 1 was sooooooo pleasant same exacf place 2 extremely different polar opposite mental states its not hard 2 tell which 1 i chose 2 live n ( also nothin i could do i wasn driving )
the more you fight the more your brain keeps producing more ... so stop fighting. learn to tolerate uncomfortable feelings
Those who made comments below,can share how they dealt terrible things before listening to jordan peterson?
Excellent Video
I never think positive what if, it is always negative
Oh man….. that’s me all day. Thinking about “what If” never ends up with me thinking a positive thought…… I’d give anything for this to go away.
Sometimes Jordan Peterson can say things that are bloated and over designed. But I subscribe to a lot of the same political and religious concepts as him. I like it when he keeps things simple (stupid).
You cant stop worrying. It's impossible. It's with you FOREVER and FOREVER
My problem is pedos and I tend to over think about it which puts me in a bad mood...
I couldn't live through that. just couldnt
How do you really know you can't change something? Doesn't it depend on the specific situation of the person?
Anybody?
In my case it's my height. I'm 5'4 and everyday I'm sad because of this
Thanks for posting. Though it’s pretty much unwatchable due to the unnecessary and distracting music
Someone tell me what podcast this is originally from
Not Jordan but who was he talking to
He should stuck to this and not politics
Please do these with no music. I want to hear the man speak And learn. But the music prevents that so I couldn't listen to what he had to say.
You should have some strength and cruelty to live through despite worst catastrophe happened. Wow
1 person disliked this? can i ask why?
maybe a bot cuz i cant imagine otherwise
It probably gave them a new worry at the beginning of the video: their children
Pray to Jehovah, He will give you out from all anxiety.
brah i never really breakfast wtf lol
he looks a little bit like thom yorke
I'm worried about Jordan's daughter seducing me.
Mate, this is so emo & victimized? And based in theoretical dogma, as it's not this deep & it's pretty simple & full of wonder & awe, once organized.