Imagine the Postal Dude just walking up to you, but instead of assaulting you with whatever weapons he happens to have on hand, he just sips tea and roasts you for several minutes.
“The Bitch" Is Postal wife,she appears in Postal 2 and as a character in the movie,she appears as a exaggerated overweight woman who can't move, that's why she can't go out of van and the name The Bitch, it's becuase she cheat with some men around or not of Postal Dude
@@nathansalty6956 Which is 100% doable. It even makes it seem like the Dude is just going about his days while the town descends into madness around him. "Hi there. I'd like to cash this pitiful paycheck..."-as the bank is about to be robbed.
Fun fact: Playing as H.P. Lovecraft is the best way to win your first tournament. Not only do you get to be the funny haha cat man without needing to do anything, but you also have the least commonly occurring “Touché” insults.
That fifth level is canonically what becomes of Postal Dude after he dies: He has an insult match with Morgan Freeman who then tells him to never refreeze food.
Eh, it's actually basically canon that the "Jesus Runs" are the actual timeline and Postal Dude Jr never killed anyone outside of bosses, cutscenes, zombies, and Gary Coleman hallucinations, aaaand that one time he set off a nuke. But even then, it's not like he actually KILLED everyone in Paradise before moving to Edensin.
Postal dude: " Where the hell am I ? " Brandon: " NEW JERSEY! " Postal dude: " SHIT! " *jumps off the window and tries to take a random car* " What for ? All the cars in this town seem to be props anyway " *flies like a rocket to the sky*
"Your hat admires pictures of your country, which seemed intuitive in design docs!" I realize that the "design docs" bit is a quote from Postal 2, but to me that's basically the Postal Dude admitting "I have no idea what I'm saying."
"A Lumberjack worked with you" Boy I don't understand how he still could stand after such a slappin insult. I'd just give him my house keys, and live the rest of my life in a nonpopulated area in Russia.
I like how in the end, Postal Dude dies and learns a valuable lesson after beating god in an insult match, if Running With Scissors makes a final postal game (I’m implying that they will at some point since they’re coming out with new titles for postal) this could be a possible ending.
He's so public about his love life they make love in the public park? Not even just the hugging and kissing, I mean full Kama Sutra shit going on in those shrubbery.
@Space Vatnik I would scoff if not for the fact that A: You're right, and B: I have absolutely seen people just fucking in their car in a populated gas station parking lot. XD
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint. (The owner does not respond.) Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss? Owner: What do you mean "miss"? Mr. Praline: (pause)I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint! Owner: We're closin' for lunch. Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique. Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it? Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it! Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting. Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now. Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage! Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead. Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting! Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show... (owner hits the cage) Owner: There, he moved! Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage! Owner: I never!! Mr. Praline: Yes, you did! Owner: I never, never did anything... Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call! (Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.) Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot. Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned! Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!? Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major. Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk. Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords. Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home? Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage! Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there. (pause) Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee! Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised! Owner: No no! 'E's pining! Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
the fact that all of the replies are insulting this guy for "writing a story" and not even slightly understanding what this is from is depressing as all hell
12:30 I think a news story about the Charlottesville protests is being played in the background here. You might want to replay this level without the background noise there.
God can't handle the fact that his mother murdered his auntie because she wore his grandmothers clothing and reveals the meaning of life after hearing his sister left Europe to sign a postal guys petition.
The public announcment was just so- It was funny,I guess? Like,you're playing a Silly game about British people insulting each other while in the public announcment people get shot,or something-
![[SFM] Duke Nukem VS Postal Dude](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/AVDituj79SM/mqdefault.jpg)
Imagine the Postal Dude just walking up to you, but instead of assaulting you with whatever weapons he happens to have on hand, he just sips tea and roasts you for several minutes.
Still in character
Must be a pacifist run
It still hurt
The only way to top it is holding a 2 minute monolog about memes.
It’s only as violent as you are, remember?
"Your hat is you, mate!"
Postal dude doesn't have a hat.
He just got called NOTHING.
you are nothing,mate!
it technically is hella rude depending on the person
Oh! So thats why the other guy got a critical hit on the Postal Dude
That’s why it did 19 damage
Ew furry
Ew furry
That bird is dead because Postal Dude tried to find a new way to make a silencer
it died because Dude thought that it was a pigeon
So was the way for the dead man.
@@Mate_Antal_Zoltan From the super-fun pigeon mission
@@rockid7970 indeed
Ew... a furry
"A public loo looks like the nazis"
Postal guy: "And i took that personally"
Maybe he’s a nazi?
@@Dooperbooperlooper he just vibes with public bathrooms
@@Dooperbooperlooper impossible he kills races equally
@@Dooperbooperlooper
YoU BiGoT
He’s clearly relating to the loo because he’s full of piss
This train wanted to be a cheese shop
I couldn’t sleep for days…
I love how his high damage animation is him using a cat as a silencer.
That’s probably why he was buying the parrot
@@freeze2869
He needed a more mobile and lighter silencer for the job.
Lmao yeah
“Silencers are for pussies.”
Because this is postal 2 reverence
Imagine they added this insult
*"Will you sign the petition or will it be your surviving family members"*
They did add the "Signed my petition" bit.
Also added the feeling pscyhotic in morning.
@@a.k8185 he's going postal
@@Complete_Stranger7050
Indeed
"Would you care o donate to this indeterminately inconvenient cause?"
"Your father acts like your wife" actually hits different because of PD's dad's grave
Yeah honestly wife should deal extra damage to him because of his uhh "circumstances" with the missus
Considering the kind of wife the dude has, this is truly an insult.
What about his wife?
“The Bitch" Is Postal wife,she appears in Postal 2 and as a character in the movie,she appears as a exaggerated overweight woman who can't move, that's why she can't go out of van and the name The Bitch, it's becuase she cheat with some men around or not of Postal Dude
I like how “your hat is you” is more insulting than “your father murdered your sense of style”
But thing is: PD got no hat. HE LITERALLY GOT CALLED NOTHING.
I swear half of these could Fit right into a Postal game
Because another half was ripped straight out of Postal, duh!
"I need this liver, I just got shot and I'm going to die without it."
“How could I murder him when I was hiding in a shrubbery with my rifle this morning?!”
And, honestly, be more fitting than the fourth game.
Ah yes, my favorite postal quote; "satan still uses windows vista"
This game’s artstyle, is what it would be like, if we lived in, a Picasso painting, that was colored by, Vinesauce Joel, with IBS!
Combo! Rude! 20
It is pixel art on a ps1
@@Dooperbooperlooper TOUCHÉ! 12
*Past Generation Consoles👎*
Lmao
Just call me doctor euthanasia
"But please, try to refrain from murder in the future"
Coming from the postal dude, that's a very surprising sentence
Guessing he thinks that killing a man to put teacups on isn't enough of a reason
His the only normal person in paradise lost so
This Postal Dude must’ve been on a pacifist run.
@@nathansalty6956
Which is 100% doable. It even makes it seem like the Dude is just going about his days while the town descends into madness around him.
"Hi there. I'd like to cash this pitiful paycheck..."-as the bank is about to be robbed.
Maybe he doesn't want someone horning in on his rampages?
“Your hat is you, mate”
YO CHILL NIGEL! That was just uncalled for!
could you imagine if this is how arguments are settled in real life.
@@gennoble4713 your hat is you mate
GET OWNED
Fun fact: Playing as H.P. Lovecraft is the best way to win your first tournament. Not only do you get to be the funny haha cat man without needing to do anything, but you also have the least commonly occurring “Touché” insults.
Top ten insults that will break anyone
Number 1:
"This conversation is your house"
Nah number 1 is ‘your hat is you,Mate!
@@bananaman8939 only works when they don’t wear a hat.
That second "fight" where Postal Dude is having tea on top of a corpse just fits too damn perfectly.
For once he didn’t kill that man
@@santosprincezkid named Pacifist Run of Postal 2
"Your father acts like your wife"
that must hit especially hard to dude, considering he hates both
He hates his wife and his dad
hi
That fifth level is canonically what becomes of Postal Dude after he dies:
He has an insult match with Morgan Freeman who then tells him to never refreeze food.
Wow can't forget that time the Postal Dude ascended to heaven and gave God a verbal smackdown in just three sentences.
I like their insult went literal incomprehensible after some rounds
“A public loo looks like the Nazis”
Wait that’s insulting?
Only to the Nazis
@@bipitybop_ And to public loos. They didn't do anything to deserve to be compared to the Nazis.
Wait, wtf is a public loo?
@@matthewgagnon9426 Probably same thing can be said the other way.
@@mr.infernal1380 A public toilet
12:15 thats weird coming from the postal dude
**puts on police uniform** I AM the law!
Nah hed deffo say stuff like that
Eh, it's actually basically canon that the "Jesus Runs" are the actual timeline and Postal Dude Jr never killed anyone outside of bosses, cutscenes, zombies, and Gary Coleman hallucinations, aaaand that one time he set off a nuke. But even then, it's not like he actually KILLED everyone in Paradise before moving to Edensin.
@@ZigealFaust what about postal brain damaged
@@Nombrenooriginal for all we know it can be about Postal Dude The First, who is canonically a super murderer
something about hearing postal dude do the dead parrot skit from Monty python feels amazing
“Your mother never watched Star Wars”
Christ,I know he’s the postal dude but that was a low blow…
Postal dude: " Where the hell am I ? "
Brandon: " NEW JERSEY! "
Postal dude: " SHIT! " *jumps off the window and tries to take a random car* " What for ? All the cars in this town seem to be props anyway " *flies like a rocket to the sky*
"Prop?, what's a prop?!
@@Rappytho6 can I spend it?
"I sold it... FOR 10 BANANAS"
Oh hold one for a second?
*PUSHES FAR OFF THE WINDOW AND INTO THE HIGHWAY AND GETTING MOWED DOWN!*
Isn't that from a GMod idiot box episode, or am I remembering that from somewhere else?
The fact the final boss of this game has family issues means that yo momma jokes are the most effective methods of insulting someone. Nice.
Bro really took 51 damage 😭 I guess he and his mother don't see eye to eye
However, he has twice the health
Don't matter when you can "Yo mama" him into oblivion
What's with the hat insults when Dude is clearly not wearing a hat?
what's with all the house insults when Dude doesn't have a house?
@@Mate_Antal_Zoltan he had a trailer
@@thebadwolf3088 key word: had
as of Apocalypse Weekend, he doesn't have a house, and he doesn't seem to have one in Postal 4 either
His hat is him, mate!
@@Mate_Antal_Zoltan he was evicted from his house.
Alternatively, he had a trailer in Postal 2.
"I regret nothing!"
"Your hat admires pictures of your country, which seemed intuitive in design docs!"
I realize that the "design docs" bit is a quote from Postal 2, but to me that's basically the Postal Dude admitting "I have no idea what I'm saying."
"A public loo looks like the Nazis!"
That public loo got so fucking destroyed that even Postal Dud felt it.
"The true meaning of life is to never refreeze food which has been defrosted"
Of course the last insult was related to petitions
Better yet, maybe Father’s sister was one of his surviving family members
Eeyup. Postal Dude has to end it with the petition, it's the law
Can't believe you didn't go for "Satan signed my petition"
But he had to go with "satan still uses Windows Vista"
As thanos once said:"the hardest choices require the strongest wills"
SIGN MY PETITION DAMNIT
@@Jixxyyyno way, you freaking pinko!
This clearly isnt the real postal dude, he isn't shooting all their heads off
probably doing a pacifist run
Well it's entirely optional in POSTAL 2 so....
It's a pacifist playthrough
Hey, he's just exercising his Second Amendment rights here, ya fuckin' communist!
he's trying to get the Pacifist achievement
"A Lumberjack worked with you"
Boy I don't understand how he still could stand after such a slappin insult. I'd just give him my house keys, and live the rest of my life in a nonpopulated area in Russia.
I like the trump audio in the background during the train level. Hillarious
Did you mean:
Hillaryous?
I was frakking wondering about that! What the heck spurned that on?!
I don’t even get why that was there. I think he accidentally left it on or something
@@internetperson8982 It legit freaked me out when I heard it - thought I had another tab playing random videos or something. Kinda creepy.
"Behold then, for the meaning of life is **starts swearing** "
I just realized I had on some sort of public announcement in the background. Whoops.
AbidingGamer IRONIC WHEN THE BLACK BOYO SHOWS UP
i was wondering why i heard trump halfway through lol
Shhhhh.. that makes it better.
train's crowded fam
XD
Postal Dude VS a Monty Python sketch is certainly not something I expected to see, but here we are.
The very last insult is such a perfect note to end on
5:15 The first time I've heard that, I thought Dude was going to kill her. XD
It’s amazing how calm Postal Dude was during all this
Dude probably shouted HOW when he got fucking obliterated by “your hat is you, mate” and got less points when it’s his turn
At least someone signed his petition
Cant believe they added cat silencer to the game..
So, you wanted a dog silencer?
@ElSrDark I see someone wants a dog silencer
@Tobias Boccio *throws a dog biscuit at your face*
Good boy.
I like how in the end, Postal Dude dies and learns a valuable lesson after beating god in an insult match, if Running With Scissors makes a final postal game (I’m implying that they will at some point since they’re coming out with new titles for postal) this could be a possible ending.
Postal 3 design with the Postal 2 voice, unfathomably epic combination
"Your hat is you, Mate!"
*19 Damage*
Damn! I’ve been on the fence about getting this game, but now I’m sold on it thanks to this video. Thanks, bruh. 🤣
imagine if this is how arguements went down in real life.
"You hide in this shrubbery and have a steaming romp with your wife!"
How is that an insult
He's so public about his love life they make love in the public park? Not even just the hugging and kissing, I mean full Kama Sutra shit going on in those shrubbery.
Public indecency is looked down upon in most countries.
@Space Vatnik I would scoff if not for the fact that A: You're right, and B: I have absolutely seen people just fucking in their car in a populated gas station parking lot. XD
why the hell is there audio from the unite the right rally during the third level?
He finished god off with the petition. Idk why but that's just poetic
"Your hat is you, Mate!"
COMBO!
RUDE!
19
Bro you commented on this video 8 times, shut the fuck up!
“Try to refrain from murder in the future.”
That’s rich coming from you.
"You can't deny that a lumberjack worked with you" damn he got you there
The postal guy engages in many Monty Python skits and we enjoy it.
22:40 One of the biggest crossovers in history
"You are your hat, mate" is apparently extremely devastating
considering postal dude doesn’t have a hat, he probably said that postal dude is nothing
1:02 I love how you can see the player go ‘FUCK THAT WAS THE WRONG BUTTON’
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
Mr. Praline: (pause)I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Owner: We're closin' for lunch.
Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show...
(owner hits the cage)
Owner: There, he moved!
Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
Owner: I never!!
Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!
Owner: I never, never did anything...
Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Owner: No no! 'E's pining!
Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
what
This aint wattpaf
What?
This guy never touched grass
the fact that all of the replies are insulting this guy for "writing a story" and not even slightly understanding what this is from is depressing as all hell
"HINT:
Play Shadow Warrior 2"
I think I'll pass on that one, Devolver
But it's so damn good though, your loss.
The fact that Postal Dude is the only American Character in this game just makes it 10x funnier.
Did you forget about Serious Sam?
And lovecraft?
Internet argument compilation
5:34 i both love and hate that this is honestly the most "postal guy" thing to do
Perfectly in character for the Postal Dude to do this
Having the final insult beint a "... And signed my petition" was the perfect insult to be the last one
I can’t stop seeing Harriet in the detective
when insult simulator has Rick Hunter but postal 4 doesnt
Now it does lol
@@thedemon4780 So does Brain Damage.
Warms my heart to see him back with the Dude.
YT recommended me this and unusual wave of nostalgia hit me. I remember when Markiplier and JackSepticeye played this game, fond memories.
11:24 : I love how "Signed my petition" was one of the tea choice for postal dude v:
Honestly that last sentence specifically at the end of it was such a perfect way to end it
Watching you casually deal 51 damage in a single blow made me lmao!
"but please, try to restrain from murder in the future"
WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE'S THE POSTAL DUDE
I love how the first insult he pulls up is a Your Mother one
Fun fact: You can say "Your mother is a hamster and your father smells of elderberries!"
I was installing Shadow Warrior 2 and to kill time decided to watch this vid and I must admit, 18:53 scared the fuck outta me
"Your hat is you."
Postal dude: and i took that personally
"a public loo looks like the nazis"
didnt have to roast him that bad💀
As a brit i can 100% say that postal dude knows the arts of are insulting techniques
12:30
I think a news story about the Charlottesville protests is being played in the background here. You might want to replay this level without the background noise there.
18:46 This is your clue on what Lo wang is sensitive of
I don't even think Postal Dude is capable of holding a conversation this long with someone
Well he is a dude that’s a walking arsenal
“This conversation is your house”
CZcams's algorithm is so confused on what I like that I have no idea what this is or how it would get recommended to me.
I for one welcome my new algorithm overlords.
postal dude telling someone to restrain from murder is like spongebob yelling slurs in the middle of a normal episode
Everyone be like: "your hat".
Also postal dude: *doenst have a hat*
Unless if they are talking about he's glasses
x: ___
also y:
comments be like
the only problem with this is that it uses his POSTAL III design
this is the best content I have seen in years
3:32 imagine someone hits you with the "a fish looks like a slave merchant". I wouldn't be offended just confused
God can't handle the fact that his mother murdered his auntie because she wore his grandmothers clothing and reveals the meaning of life after hearing his sister left Europe to sign a postal guys petition.
"never ever refreeze food that has been defrosted". This is something to live by
enjoyed the use of the petition line at the very end
25:49 *NOW THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE.*
"You murdered this poor man to have tea on his rotting corpse?"
Postal Dude: And I'll do it again!
Alternate history where postal dude is a responsible, sane, and trustworthy adult
Yup in postal 2 he’s actually the only sane person in paradise lost
6:54 absolutely vile.
for the very last line you could have just said "your siter signed my petition!" and he had so little hp he would have died
sister*
lol oops -3 for grammar, eh?
The public announcment was just so-
It was funny,I guess?
Like,you're playing a Silly game about British people insulting each other while in the public announcment people get shot,or something-
Because this game has no swearing this is Postal dude at only, like, 1/10th of his normal power.
used to play this game with my friend, we had no idea what postal was so when we saw postal dude we were really confused, now we both get it