I read a book on how to spend your 20s. | The Defining Decade
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 12. 06. 2024
- so... i'm turning 22 tomorrow. cue the existential crisis at another birthday even though age is a construct
Hey guys!! đŠ I recently read The Defining Decade by Meg Jay which is a book all about how to spend your 20s based on science and her experience. She worked as a clinical psychologist interviewing hundreds of people in their 30s and 40s on why they weren't satisfied with their lives. Most of the time, it was because of decisions made in their 20s. Even though there's no one way to live life, Dr Jay created a list of universal advice she wishes all 20-year olds knew to make the most of this formative decade.
If you're turning 20, in your mid-twenties or just generally seeking life advice, I hope this video gives you tangible inspiration for how to live your 20s to the fullest đ«
Timestamps:
00:00 Why it feels like there is a lot of pressure on your twenties đ±
2:11 Advice for Career and Work đ»
8:01 Advice for Love đ
12:21 Critiques đ€
14:43 How am I living my twenties? đŠ
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if no one has told you today, you are enough. đ
All the early birthday wishes are so lovely, thank you!! đ„°đ„°đ»âš
Girl we have the same bday and Im turing 20 so thank you for this one!!! And Happy Birthday to you!!
Happy birthday!
Happyy birthdaay Jade, have a blast!!
proud to be a MARCH QUEEN with you jadeee!!!! have a blast!!!
Happy birthday in advance Jade didi đ
I know I am not your much old follower/subscriber, just found you channel!!! But your videos punched me hard...
...Specially your solo travelđ§łonce!
I'm now 18yo & your videos are helping me to grow my *mindset*.
Thanks didi! âșïž
(Didi-> sister in Hindi)
I'm turning 30 this year, and if it helps anyone who's younger - your decisions matter a lot less than you worry about. There are so many points at which you can pivot, change direction and change path - you do not need to have it figured out at 21, 25, 30 or 50. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to know what you are doing or where you are heading, because you probably won't or it may (likely will) change and shift. Look after yourself and follow your curiosity đ
This!!!
Sometimes the worst thing about being in your 20s is to be told over and over that this is your âprimeâ
Thank you :) literally cried reading this
Thank you Rosie đ
đ
I just finished my BA in Philosophy at 63. I am now doing postgraduate Honours in Philosophy, alongside a three-month marketing apprenticeship online with Arcadia. You are never too old to be what you want to be!
Thank you for this ,you just inspired me
I just turned 27 and was thinking i haven't done enough in life .
@@anveksharai509 You're welcome!
I loved this comment â€ïž
ive just started my philosophy degree!!
I'm glad to know there are elder people who have this mindset. Keep going Lucky Lady!!! The doers are the free ones đ
Tbh I read this when I was 24 and thought wow so smart, I wanna use my twenties as well as possible. Then... Life happened. Depression, Covid, Death of loved ones. Now I am 30 and I haven't achieved any of the typical 30 milestones: No partner, no prestigious career, still working on my depression. But it doesn't stress me out? I'm thankful that I'm so much better mentally than I used to be, that I have a flexible job with nice team mates that pays my bills and for my few but reliable friends. So I have mixed feelings for this book nowadays as I think it overemphasizes the influence you have over life. And it kinda doesn't apply for people who have chronic illnesses (mental or otherwise).
Oh I just now watched the video and saw that you addressed a lot of these points in the criticism section. Well done! I also think that regret is a natural part of life and you will nearly always look back in your 40s and think, "I wish I did this and this thing differently". But this isn't a tragedy in my opinion. You can learn to live with missed opportunities and still be Happy đ
Thank you for this comment, words that speak for many
thank you â€
Hi howâs it going?
amazing comment
I dropped out of uni at 19 and travelled the world, now I'm studying again at 27 - still living abroad. I think 18 is too young to make career decisions, but of course you can study what you really want later in life, at any age :)
wait you are basically living my dream life hahaha Im obsessed with traveling but uni just keeps me away from it most of the time. I am finally graduating this year tho and want to live abroad (hopefully). May I ask how you could live abroad and travel so early since in my opinion & experience traveling is quite expensive
@@sdestiny414 This is why I study online, not for everyone but works for me. Congrats on getting through it! I finish at the end of this year :). Full disclosure, I had a small scholarship that I was meant to spend on school but spent it on flights instead. Also, when I started travelling at 19 it was not the "aesthetic" travel that you may imagine. I backed packed/hitched hiked around South America, got into many crazy and dangerous situations. After a few months, I went back home and I was sitting in a boring lecture when a friend from Argentina asked if I could apartment sit while he travelled, so I said yes and spent my last money on a one-way ticket. I was stuck in Buenos Aires for a long time, lived and worked at a party hostel (really had no money, I used to steal food from the kitchen). Anyway, it was incredibly tough but I don't regret it. I met my partner there, and then I ended up working in a startup originally as an english blog editor, then as a designer. That job paid for me to live in San Francisco briefly, then Santiago, Chile. Until my partner and I decided to quit our jobs and move (we are in Europe now, and have travelled to many places over the years). What are you studying? I would highly recommend getting into tech, there's so many types of jobs, and they pay well - not so much in South America though haha ;) and if you are up to just working it out as you go, travelling somewhere without a plan is great, there's always jobs at bars/hostels etc. Little rougher lifestyle though..
@@Cod3zP omg this sounds so cool unplanned things make me anxious but they give best experiences most of the time!
Nice! I dropped out of uni at 20 and am turning 25 in 21st of April. I am working a full-time retail job and am working on my creative pursuits of art (making videos, drawing) and writing books. Yet to decide what to study.
@@Cod3zP what kind of tech job do you have? I'm a bit older (26) going back to school after finishing my time in the military and am thinking about traveling and working. I did IT in the airforce, but would like a a more mobile tech related gig. Though I am open to other stuff as well.
Career growth really isn't a focus for me, I want a career that serves the world - people or animals. I always struggle with the idea of what success means to me because in a lot of minds it is the money and prestige but I dont know every time I try and focus on that my mental health suffers and I lose enjoyment in life. I just want to have fun and love and care. I dont care if I don't have the best job, house or car. If I make someone smile everyday then I will feel 'successful '.
Big MOOD!
That mindset completely resonates with me and most of the time is really difficult for people to understand it.
ExAcTly !!!
I feel like we need this kind of thinking when we tackle the climate crisis. I gave up a more prestigious career path to help our planet instead by studying sustainability instead.
I feel so validated right now. I wish more people had this mindset.
i'm 36 and looking back I can say that in your 20s there's a unique energy and positivity about life. You feel like there's still ... time. It's about finding yourself, trying new things, meeting people, discovering things that you like and don't like. Maybe your 30s and 40s are for that too, but you get wrapped up in the rat race and routine, and just generally, the energy level is lower. I would make the most of my 20s and not stress about societal pressures. You have to do you... Use that time and energy for something good. Don't waste it on comparing yourself to others, or giving in to societal pressures. Take that trip, or that surf class. Make friends with people from around the world. Read that four-part novel. Most of all, be kind to yourself. You will eventually find your way, no pressure... (I know I am still finding mine but with time and perspective, you get to love your own unique path and where you are in the world). Happy birthday Jade! I love watching your videos to re-motivate me during a down energy period. Keep it up! :)
thank uđđ»
Hi Ashwina, thank you for that!
And that might be a stupid question, but do you think you have to be lost in the rat race at 30 or 40? Can you focus on something else instead or work 4 days a week? Or do something to regain that energy by exercising or spending time by yourself / w people depending on your situation?
I guess my question is why are the 30s and 40s so different?
Thank you, a lots 25 year old â€ïž
I totally agree with you. I just feel like people, even in their 20's, aren't really interested in meeting new people. Maybe its just me but i always find people are rushing and don't really care/want to stop and talk
@@noone9472 I think it also has to do with responsibilities. A lot of folks in their 30's and 40's might have kids or older parents to take care of. You might end up buying your own home which again adds to responsibilities. I am just entering my 30's but I can see how responsibilities change what I focus on at the moment.
@@noone9472 i guess thats personal and varies for everyone. I like earning and financial independence. And i believe that for any job, there's always an element of donkey work and rat race. Balance is the key. Love, relationship, mental health, physical health. Im doing it in a 9 to 6 job and at times im happy at times less so. This is reality, no more no less. It helps to have a higher purpose, i work for a non profit and i motivate myself by working for the greater good. And thats enough for me for now.
29 french girl here ! I'm 1000x more happier now than I ever was in my early 20s. Growing up IS Amazing, you know yourself more and more, you respect yourself more and more and stop doing things just to feel approved by others. Dont be scared, have Faith in your future : i was completely lost in my life and one day, all the answers came at me. Have Faith ! â€ïž Everything will be fine when it's supposed to đ
I have some creative projects like drawing a new coloring book to publish soon, and making videos on CZcams that help me get through the hard days đ it is sometimes hard to keep faith that it gets better but I am doing my best with what I've got.
@Sonna it will be awesome đâš
@Sonna indeed, I am also 24 about to turn 25, and feeling a bit stuck with slow progress on some of my goals. Hope that it gets better indeed đ
How did all the answers come to you?! What did it feel like to suddenly know?
@@kaitlinjacobs2566 Pure chance! I was in the right place at the right time. Everything ended up making sense, even my wanderings
I felt like I was blind all along. The evidence was there all along but I was too blind to see it - so the universe gave me a helping hand đđ
The 20s are so strange. You're *supposed* (says who?) to explore yourself and the world but in reality most of us (at least in my social circles) are too broke to do both of those. I'm now 27 and with experience the older I get the more money I can have = more fun experiences, so embrace each year as it comes. 22 was fun for me, but age is kinda irrelevant and just a way to break down time into understandable segments.
Honestly, I don't want to live that picture-perfect life! I was on the way to do that (almost perfect grades as uni, good job, good network) but it's just... missing something! So I decided to do less work and live more! More sports, friends, art and freedom. More getting lost to find my place in this world.
Cause that can't be it. If it is, I don't want it. I want to have a flow I can go with, not a soulless pavement road. I want life to feel like an adventure.
Yes exactly, I'd rather have a less "ambitious" job and go for long walks than spend my free time networking
Yes yes yes yes!! †thanks for this comment I feel the same
I really like this comment, and I feel the same way! We have a life, so why canât we live it the way we want to?
@@akatastrophe I think it's hard not to give in to societal pressures, but every moment I laugh with my friends, enjoy the birds singing by a river or feel connected to someone in hug, when I wouldn't have been able to do so before when I was working so much, makes it all worth it. I love life again :)
I kinda am at the same place as you. I just turned twenty and being a perfectionist with strict parents, always had perfect grades and big expectations from others but that made me sick. Now that I'm living on my own, I get to do things my way and I'm so much happier, also my anxiety has gotten way better. We don't need to be perfect all the time, but enjoy life while we can. I'm proud of myself for learning to cut me some slack
Who says the early twenties is the best time of your life? That is the age where you need to self-actualize on a path and figure out how to pay for your own food, your own apartment, your own transportation. The learning curve is sharp in the early 20s. The yan of this yin/yan is that you get to be your own person. You do not have to do what others tell you to do.
I'm 27 and I'm loving my later 20s more than I did my early 20s. College was fun but I had no idea what I was doing, however I did set myself up! I don't have the stress of school anymore, I have a great job and the opportunity to travel. I have close friends from college and have since developed new close friends. Life is good. Yes be internional, but forgive yourself too! I'm honestly excited for my 30s too!
@Munir yka Yes, I graduated at 24. It took me 4.5 years to get through my undergrad and then 2 years of grad school. I went to school right after high school and didn't take any breaks. I know a lot of people finishing up school at 27, 28, 29. Everyone is on their own track. Going to school later might be helpful in terms of going for exactly what you want instead of wasting years/money to keep switching degrees haha. But also the only negative I could think of is if you haven't been investing. I didn't start investing until I was like 23-24 but wish I did right at 18. But once you get post grad job, just invest 15% a paycheck from the get go and that compound interest will help you out!
@@heathergosse Hi dearrr. Youâre here! I follow your channel for embryology videos.
I turned 31 in October and itâs honestly the best Iâve ever felt. My 20s were pretty chaotic with trying out a few different jobs, moving countries etc etc and I felt a lot of societal pressure to settle down and have everything figured out. Your 20s are such a good time for discovery and I donât think youâll ever regret trying out different things. Donât worry if what youâre doing is different from other people around you; everyone has their own path and timing for when things will happen. The sooner you become content with that the happier you will feel. âșïž
As a 22 year old, hearing that gives me a lot of hope:)
Jade, this has nothing to do with the video, but I wanted to let you know that I always save up your videos to watch while I'm eating breakfast. I live alone so I don't really eat breakfast with anyone and watching your videos while I do has become one of my favorite morning rituals!
This is actually the loveliest thing ever, thank you so much! đ„șđ„°
I literally was cooking and eating breakfast alone and just turned this video to entertain myself a little :)
So same!
Same lol i also watched this during breakfast
me, eating breakfast watching this vid
Jade is good friend đ
To anyone who is feeling insecure about getting older - Iâm turning 28 in April and I still donât really know what Iâm doing with my life. Funnily enough, I donât actually wish I was younger. When I was 21 I was so insecure, a huge people pleaser, hated my body, concerned 24/7 about what other people thought of me. Iâm far from perfect still, but Iâm so much happier with myself now at this age.
So I hope you all enjoy life whatever age you may beđ And happy early birthday Jade!
Thank you so much for writing this comment. I feel everything youâve written. I am 21, turning 22 in June and I feel lost in all areas of my life. Itâs also difficult not to compare yourself with others. I wonder how we can find our identity, like what career choices or where we want to live? Itâs something that haunts me everyday but youâre giving me hope! I also agree with Jade that your life doesnât stop after your 20s and people still find themselves later on. Thatâs life!
Honestly, what Iâm starting to understand more and more every year is that actually nobody knows what they are doing. Or mostly nobody at least. Everyone is just pretending that they have their shit togetherđ€ So Iâm just trying to enjoy every day as it comes. After all, thatâs the point of life. I think.
So if someone is turning 40?? What now?
This was really interesting to watch as a thirty year old! I remember being told to enjoy my twenties but I honestly think thatâs only something you can appreciate looking back. I would say that life throws lots of unexpected curveballs so just enjoy the ride and donât be too hard on yourself :)
Nicely put :)
My 20s were great - lots of travel, personal growth and career development. I have to say though, Iâve enjoyed my early 30s so much more. Iâve been able to keep all the good stuff that Iâve built over the past decade without all holding onto the stress/chaos that comes with trying to navigate being an independent adult
Iâm in my mid twenties and read the book last year, I couldnât help but feel like I was being judged. It reminded me of a parent who expects you to do these things, if Iâm not following this exactly Iâve wasted my time and failed. Like you said, life is a journey and things change and develop, I believe this book was more hurtful to me then helpful as it felt like I was being told Iâm failing my twenties!
Hi! I agree with you, I realize after reading a lot of comments that balance is key. Itâs a common sentence and I struggle with it everyday. I donât know you but the advices given in this book make me realize Iâm lost in every category. Itâs stressful to find connections when your circle of friends isnât big enough or not related to your field of study for example. Anyway weâre all on the same boatđ
You feel like you're being judged because you don't know how to stop *taking things so personally.*
Learn to hold and use the advice/critcism of others as a sharpening tool, not as a double edged sword.
I walked away from that book refreshed, to be honest, it was a wake up call.
I'm turning 20 in less than a month and am having an existential crisis about it haha. Leaving my teenage years and entering the decade of my twenties is really scary - it feels like this is the time where I have to make all the important decisions about my career and relationships. I also feel like there is a lot of pressure to have an amazing social life and "make the most of my youth," but covid + social anxiety is preventing me from doing that :( Moving into this next decade of my life, I want to prioritise what makes me happy and what aligns with my values rather than succumbing to external expectations. This video was so helpful, thank you Jade đžđ
I turned 20 in December and I resonate with this so much!!
I turned 20 in November and I feel so connect w/ your comment
@@JessicaChris1612 so nice to hear that we're not alone in this!!
@@gabriela.svargas that's so nice to hear that you connect with my experience!
I am turning 20 this October and I really feel you this comment made me feel less stressed now that I know that I'm not the only one who feels this way
Im 22 this year but I have alot of older friends who are closer to their 30. What I learned from them is that your 20s don't have to end when you're 30. Sure, your 20s might be a fantastic time, but your 30s might be even greater. I feel we always hype up the 20s but never the 30s, 40s, 50s, etc.
I'm 27 now and I would say I've planned and been as intentional as I can, but the best opportunities I've had are things that have just landed in my lap. They're jobs where I've applied for a role and been asked "do you want to do this instead?" and its turned out to be a much better fit or something I never would have considered applying for and its taken me down an incredible path I didn't believe was possible. I think if you seek out the things you enjoy, in life in general but also in your career, opportunities will come your way and doors will open. You don't have to have it all figured out, and meandering through these years isn't wasted time, its building the foundations for your life and the possibilities are still endless! What's the saying? Life is what happens when you're making other plans :)
When I think about my 20s the first word that comes to my mind is actually "change".
I feel like everyday is a new chance to change what makes us feel bad and not satisfied with our lives and find new beautiful paths instead. In fact, this is the thought that always makes me feel better whenever I feel stuck or lost.
Moreover it's so exciting and scary at the same time! Literally anything can happen, a single decision could change my entire life and I find it intriguing (and overwhelming sometimes).
I'm in the last year of my 20s. But I've been feeling 30 since I turned 27 (I don't know if that makes much sense). I read various articles, reports, and studies, and they all found that 27 is the worst year of life for many people. Something within you shifts at that age, and you start feeling distant from people in their early and mid-20s. But you still don't feel close enough to those in your 30s.
Anyway, I know now that everyone spends their 20s the best they can. When people say that's the best decade of our lives, they put too much pressure on us, and it becomes more likely that we will dread becoming 30. So, I want to believe that there's more to life and that we can be equally happy in the later stages of our life. But a few things are true about our 20s:
- You have the wisdom of a young adult. But you still carry that teenage innocence and hopefulness that makes it feel like anything is possible.
- Everything feels more intense. Sadly, that starts fading in your late 20s because life desensitizes you and makes you tougher to have the capability to handle more mature years.
- Your immune system and body are more resilient.
- Being young makes you feel wanted and like you can fit anywhere. You have more opportunities. For instance, there are numerous programs for people under 26 and 30 - volunteering, exchanges, internships, etc. Once you're 30, you have to make opportunities for yourself because society no longer sees you as a young person.
- You can make dumb mistakes, and everyone will ascribe that to being young.
So, from a 29-year-old to a 22-year-old, the only thing you must do is enjoy and do whatever the fuck you want. Don't let societal expectations impose pressure on you. You have plenty of time to achieve or identify your goals, travel, find love, make new friendships, change your style, study, or live abroad. Avoid taking life seriously because many decisions (unless life-changing) you make now, won't matter in the future.
Embrace the chaos of your 20s and love it, but don't fear the 30. If you start dreading aging, that's going to affect your 20s. - You'll always feel like you aren't doing enough, and fear the passage of time. Simply enjoy the moment but be happy about the future. That way, every decade can be the best decade of your life.
Enjoy your twenties, Jade! I'm 47! It was the 'disposable' free time in my twenties that I retrospectively valued. Once I had my child, I barely got any free time at all unti now, nearly 17 years later. Now I'm really enjoying the extra me time!!
I remember this time last year I commented being halfway to 22 when you mentioned turning 21 in your Seoul-videos. Now I'm over halfway to 23 and that again feels completely insane, I'm closer to being 25 than 20 now which is bonkers (and 97'-98' liners being 24-25 now also feels unreal). Time really moves fast but I'm trying to enjoy life the best I can and be grateful for everything I've experienced, learned and grown from in my life so far.
Much happy birthday to you Jade!
Omg me 2
Me too! It really is crazy how time flies. I feel like I was 20 just a while ago⊠how did 22 come so fast
I finished this book just recently, as a 23. It changed my perspective completely and helped calm down my future anxiety. It helped me a lot and I feel more purposeful on how I want to go about my future. It also made me realize how important time is, so I don't want to waste it by doing things that don't serve me well.
I'm 17 and going to be turning 18 by the end of this year. It's nice to hear here someone else and especially someone else in their twenties going through an identity crisis too because I feel the same why right now, figuring out who you are and what you want to study, your career and friendships..... its a very confusing time and there's this pressure to figure it all out before your twenties and you're trying to live your best life cause apparently these are THE best years of your life but everything's pretty stressful and if you feel misdirected it also makes you distrustful of the future. So I'm glad I watched this because now I'll keep in mind that I'm not alone and that its ok to be intimidated even if you're in your twenties. I loved what you said, that you can take initiative at any age too! Anyways, thanks for sharing your thoughts and Happy Birthday Jade đ„°đ„°đ„°đđđ
The critique part was so important for me, as it made me realise that life is not lived in one way. Thank you, Jade!
Omg happy early birthday jade!! I pray this new year brings you nothing but joy and happiness đ„łđ„ł. My birthday was on Saturday and I turned 25 so I completely understand the fear that comes with getting older but youâre doing so well and inspire others (including me lol) to do the same so donât worry! đđ
Happy belated birthday, Pisces Twin!! đŠ love this, thank you
I'm in my 30's and I feel like I'm doing that now, I felt like i was emotionally immature to deal with rejection and coping, so I did my thing with a standard job, studied something but my emotional immaturity lead me to not have the confidence to go forward to do things and get ahead. I think knowing who you are deep in your inner core can help with that, know how you react, accept how you deal with things, embrace you're weirdness or normality, understand the personalties of you're surroundings and take things a bit less personal.
happy birthday!! as a fellow 22 year old, I always have those thoughts "what if I'm not making the most of my life now" and feeling as if it's running by me so although that book is definitely right - don't forget that you only get these years to be a bit wreckless and have freedom to do whatever you want. I came to uni later than my peers who are all 19/20 and I'm super grateful for the reminders they give me to not take everything so seriously and to just sack stuff off sometimes to have some fun. The work absolutely comes later, so you have to make that happen now, but it comes later.
So wise and so young. I love how grounded you are and humble đ I wish you a happy and healthy long life Jade.
Your point on short-term enjoyment is valuable; it's a matter of figuring out which extreme you lean towards and being intentional about finding the middle ground so that you can truly experience the best of both worlds! Love your channel!
Happy Birthday Jade!!đ„ł
Iâd just like to take this opportunity to mention that you have quite literally been saving my life these past few years with your wonderful guidance!
Thank you so muchđ€
I wish you a happy and successful year ahead!âš
perfect timing. really needed this. I just turned 20 and haven't started uni yet. I know and firmly believe in all you mentioned regarding age and how each and every one of us will be in different places in life at the same time etc. However, it still does not stop me from feeling like a burden to the world. im working on this and hope that one day sometime in the future when i look back, ill be able to say Ah yes everything went the best possible way. regardless, I hope everyone here can find the satisfaction and fulfilment they have been looking for.
have a lovely dayđ
I'm in the exact same situation as you (turned 20 last week and not in uni yet). Your comment makes me feel a little less lonely especially when every one of my friends has reached that stage and I haven't. I hope this situation does end up being what made space for greater things in your future and you'll be grateful when looking back on it âŁ
@@manuela. tysm reading this made me feel better. it is hard esp when people around you are all seemingly ahead of you. even if it is only in a certain area of life. nevertheless, I hope that everything falls into place for you too and that you won't be too hard on yourself. take loads of care
Same here! Iâm 20 as well and not enrolled. Still felt like Iâve made the wrong decision sometimes and felt anxious because I feel like thereâs a lot of improvement I should work on myself to get where I wanted to. But still thanking my past self for the courage and sticking to what she think is best. Itâs my decision and I gotta own it.
The initial minutes of the video dragged me down in depression. I am 25 and I was thinking like life is ending soon or like omg I am 25 and there's no time left. But your critiques made me feel so much better. Thank you so much â€ïž
Jade I have watched your videos for a while now but this one spoke to me on another level. I turned 19 two days ago, and I have found that my views/outlooks on myself and the world aligned really closely with yours at the same ages (when I check the dates on your videos). You are truly such an inspiration and I think that you are wise beyond your years. I love your content so so much and I will 100% keep watching. Thank you a million times! đ„°đđ«
Happy birthday Jade đ· I really connect with you on the point of having an identity crisis and placing so much pressure on the decisions in college but then it's so true that we have the opportunity to make changes to grow anytime!!
Enjoy your new age with new fun memories and new lessons! đ
Oh hello chá» vừng â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
I turned 22 on April 23rd and I started this book the week before my 22nd birthday. I made it through 75 pages before panicking, overthinking everything decision Iâve made so far in my life and this is the first book in maybe two years I chose not to finish. I feel like at this point in my life, I donât need this book. Maybe I need it in a couple of years, but right now, I am already over thinking everything.
Something about sharing the same birthday month with Jade makes me feel more connected to her. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JADE you are truly one of my favourite people ever and I hope your twenties will be filled with happiness and joy.
Happy, happy birthday Jade!! â€ïžđ I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow! You have been such a positive influence for so many people and Iâm so grateful for all you do! âșïž Hope 22 brings you plenty of happiness and good health!
21 here. I feel you Jade.. it is so confusing to be 21!! I am officially legal, allowed to take my decisions, but still am my parents' little daughter. I am expected (by myself and my family) to marry by 25-26, have a stable career (that gives me enough finance to manage my life) and be mature with every decision I take. I still don't know who I am in terms of career- I have always, always wanted to dance and sing .. and have been learning Bharatanatyam and Carnatic music ( Indian classical forms of dance and music respectively) since I was 4.. however, I have always known that starting a career in this field is just not practical financially, and I don't feel like I have enough knowledge and skill to pursue the career that I want yet! So, the "backup" career has always been an annoying, constant topic of contemplation in my head. I recently decided to do an MBA, and hence am preparing for entrance exams... but I am still unfortunately unsure as to whether that will make me content or not.. and, whether I will have ample time to learn and keep growing in dance and music. All of this creates a lot of procrastination issues as well, which is soooo difficult to handle :(
With respect to love and my own personality, I feel like... I don't know myself anymore!! I was much more sorted when I was 16, 17 .. than I am now.. (like from 19- now..) it drives me crazy sometimes..as a result, it has become extremely difficult for me to look for and fall in love. Despite all of this, I just tend to take each day as it comes.. and I try and not to take things as seriously as I am expected to. I feel like spirituality has been one of the only constants in my life that has kept me grounded and safe no matter what. So, that is something I rely on in such a stage of my life. I lovveed this video and your opinions about things! Even though we are culturally different, I feel like we have similar values and views about life.. that made this video really relatable! Existential crisis is happening for real. But, we got this!!
Same here!!!!! I'll be turning 20 next month and there's just so much pressure to choose the right career, right job, right hobbies etc. Hearing older people's experiences kind of helps, to ease those worries.
Mere hisaab se agr dekha jaaye to you can do both things at the same time MBA finance stability laane ke liye and dance and singing enjoyment and fun ke liye,
ap abi bi ye sb kr skte ho, it does not need to become your career jo tumhe money earn krke de ye tumhari hobby bn ke bi rh skte h,
MBA krke paisa kmaao full and ghr bnaao bda sa ya stage and dance kro us stage pe mstii se
and also I think you will develop an interest in MBA slowly slowly kyoki jo smjne lg jaate ho usko ap deere deere pyaar krne lg hi jaate ho
Don't get married early no matter what your parents say
I am turning 20 this week and having an existential crisis about life. Struggling with independence in this big world. I feel more pressure to have certain goals accomplished by now. Defining relationships, belief systems and worrying about life after graduating college next year are things Iâm struggling with now. Losing friends, falling in love for the first time and then experience heartbreak all adds to it. I know thereâs time and Iâve only started to live but these feelings suck. There are so many things i want to do and so many versions of myself i could be.
Happyy Birthday Jade. You have been an inspiration to many, especially me. I wish you nothing but best in life, thank you for existing.
I turned 21 on March 5th! (Pisces siblings lol) Last year when I turned 20 I was so scary about getting older and becoming an adult. I donât know why but I wasnât really happy and thought that I missed so much because of the pandemic. Turning 21 was kind of a reborn of myself. Iâm ready to live my life and make the most of it, being successful at uni, make new friends and maybe find love.. who knows! Happy early birthday! đ„ł hope you have a wonderful birthday đ„ł
For me my twenties are being about finding the balance between the disappointment of finding out work, love... are not as I expected when I was a teenager, finding myself with this new information and trying to figure out how to fit into this world staying true to who I am and my values instead of just going with the flow of what I am supposed to do, while also learning nothing is for granted and I am enough to enjoy life right now. Happy birthday, Jade đ
Woah this is so me right now. Thanks for making me feel seen :)
I am 22 and I realized very well that everything inside us is changing fast and it is not a good time to make big decisions.
Trying to grow and learn is the best choice.ââ
Happy birthday Jade, oh my god I remember you turning 21 last year so vividly, and your birthday video in SeoulâŠ. I watched it on a Sunday evening and it filled me with so much joy seeing you have fun
Iâm so glad you shared your views with us on this book and weâre not afraid to do so because it is what you truly believe inâșïž
Iâm 18 right now and live in the UK will finish high school this year and feel weird enough about the whole idea of leaving my family and going off to uni, and having a big sister who is so open with me and shares everything she is feeling (aka you!đ„°) makes me feel that little bit more safe and suređâ€ïž you also have such a similar mindset to me itâs crazyâŠ. Like how you stop and take in things, INTENTIONALLY, and youâre grateful for these things you feel and notice the beauty in, and I love that you share it with us, so continue feeling and livingđ
happy birthday to the queen ahhh i hope 22 treats you well cuz you deserve it and just know we ll love and appreciate you forever and always bestie
The thing you said about valuing being successful at school over relationships really hit home. I'm just now realising that I actually have to put energy into learning how to be a friend because I didn't do it earlier.
Turning 20 my next birthday and recently been having this existential crisis so Iâm glad to find this video - love the way you speak and make these vids Jade â€
Happy Belated Bday Pisces Twin đ„ș,
I am so proud of you omds! Watching you grow into the most amazing person you are and the way you manage to uplift everyone and radiate positive energy
I read this book recently (as a 25 year old) and omg the pressure. I stopped reading halfway because it was bringing more anxiety than insights.
Happy birthday Jade! Hope you have the loveliest day with the meaningful people in your life đ». I still have a little over a year to turn 20 but I have been binge-watching these type of videos as advice to apply later on.
happy early birthday! I'm halfway to 22 already and watching this video was nice; it made me feel better to know I'm not the only one going through a Mild Crisis at this stage in my life
You need your own podcast đđ»đđ»đđ»
I'm so glad to know that I am not the only one having an existential crisis... and that we are the same age, I didn't know! This video was very useful and I can relate many parts of this book to a lot of thoughts that I am having in this period... I really want to read it nowđ Thank you Jade and Happy birthday!
I read this book when I was 20 (23 now). It (1) was the first book that really got me into reading and (2) changed how I thought about my life and the necessity of taking risks and making mistakes and being INTENTIONAL with my actions. Growth is such a long process and "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now." Thanks for reminding me of the book. I plan on reading it again when I'm 25.
I have turned 20, a day before you, Jade, this video came at the best moment ever! Thank you, so much.
I did too! Birthday twin!! I hope this new decade brings lots of growth and good stuff. xx
Happy birthday, Jade! I'm turning 22 this Friday so not a bad time to watch a video like this. Lately I've been really enjoying your videos and your book so I just wanted to say thank you for everything you do for us â€ïžđ€
Happy birthday jade. Thank you for making my life soooo easy. Your videos literally saved my grades. If I'd ever meet you, you'll be the best person I know. May God bless you with lots of happiness and love â€â€
I turned 22 a few months ago and youâre right, 21 was so weird!! 22 is a much more settled / content feeling, as I let all the growth I did from 18-22 settle in!!
Happy Birthday!! đ„ł I turn 22 in 2 months time which doesn't seem real to me! I feel like I've barely done anything I imagined doing in my early twenties mainly because of COVID. Hopefully 22 will be the year I can finally start living & pursuing all that I've been wanting to do in my 20s!
Happy birthday Jade â„ïž you have been such an inspiration to me. Watching your videos have been a calm in the storm. May this new year help you discover more of you ! đâš
I turned 20 yesterday and wow I needed this !
Jade I really appreciate your videos& I fall in love with you&your channel really you're such a positive vibeđđ„șđ„ș I smile such by seeing your face
Thanks Jade! And Happy Birthday! I also turned 22 a week ago and this is a beautiful take on this time of our lives.
Oh my God, this video is everything I needed. I had a huge existential crisis as I turned 20 a few days back and there's just too much pressure to figure it all out and time seems to be slipping away. But the biggest takeaway from this video is to be intentional with what I do now. Thanks for putting this outâš
Iâm so glad i clicked on this video. Iâve started reading this book for the second time (but i didnât ever finish it). It gets me very anxious. Iâm trying to push through it to still get the gems from this book because i think itâs valuable but the way you made this video really helped me feel a bit calmer about it and also itâs reaffirming to know someone else has the same critiques about the narrative.
I will often watch these videos, just to see what other people think/say on the subject; mainly for support. I feel like I'm stuck/frozen in time right now, and don't know what I'm doing with my life, and hearing other young people say the same is comforting. Living intentionally and not being afraid of failure is really what I'm trying to work on. Not taking life too seriously and trying new things and living regret-free are basically my goals in my twenties.
omg iâm turning 22 tomorrow as well!! happy early birthday jade, hope youâll have a wonderful dayđ€
Thank you so much for the video! Itâs awesome and I love the positivity instead of the typical pressure :)))
Wow, Jade, I just loved the topic and your critical reflections on the book so, so much! I just turned 29 and my biggest take aways from the decade so far are to just trust my intution and deep dive into things that feel right - and that was often out of my comfort zone. Saying yes to things more often, being proactive and be grateful, this combination usually led to the very best experiences of my 20s. Don't put too much pressure on yourself and know that everyone is struggeling in their own way and finding things out as they go. 20s are also there to learn from mistakes. We're all in this together
I am 28 and stumbled on this video. Balance is key. I spend probably too much time chasing after my career doing a PhD. Now I have a sudden realisation that I should have invested in relationships and finding love.
@AliceHamilton this is extremely common amongst women in their late 20s early 30s, so you're def not alone. Most come to realise the reality of the hustle lifestyle isn't as attractive as it was made out to be and the desire for marriage and children begins to take a more important role, it's interesting to watch
@@bribriannita7935funny because you literally described me, Iâm 25 but just realized this, this independent way of living is honestly destroying us
I turned 27 on March 15th and had a dreadful feeling about aging. This video saved me! I realized that I am, in fact, still in my twenties and Jade (although quite a bit younger than I am) is so inspirational to me.
I read this book right before I turned 20 this last February. I enjoyed it so much and it made me really excited for the decade to come. I loved hearing another's take on it. I am thankful for these resources that can help us be intentional.
happy early birthday Jade!! I 100% think that you should create a podcast at some point, your voice and your opinions and conversations are amazing!
Love, love how you focused on the actionable advice from her book! Your summary was super helpful and practical :)
This is beautiful. Keep living your life with charm. I'm 23 and I've been building myself a house for like 5 years, making music, and traveling when i can. I feel like I'm watching all of my peers graduating, Moving around, getting married, etc. I'm a very positive person but even still it weighs heavily on my mental sometimes, but videos like these help keep me stay afloat so Thank you!!!
I am about to turn 36 and graduate with my BA. A lifelong achievement I felt was slipping away. You are so right! School should be about discovering who you are and finding your voice on what interests you! If passion is what drives our work -- how magnificent!!! I love your excitement for life and I am so glad your video popped up in my feed! Subscribed! âšđ
_Jade is always so creative with her videos. All of them explore some form of self-growth!_
From someone older than you Iâd say these ideas could work at any age. Ultimately you should enjoy your life, pursue your dreams and be kind to others. People of all ages should try to savor life for it can end quickly as it did for my brother. You just never know. Be open, be bold and be kind.
there is a quote from the perks of being a wallflower saying 'we accept the love we think we deserve'. it hit me so hard and i think everybody needs to hear that before they choose their friendships/relationships. happy early bday jade!
happy birthday jade you do really make feel happy every time i watch your videos so I wish you are the happiest person in the universe
Just want to say that I'm feeling so relatable and so calm after reading these comments. Thank you Jade and you guys in the comment section
Me too!
Happy Birthday Jade! Thank you for everything you've done for us and your book is amazing â€đ„ł
I am 30 this year, your 20s is WILD! My life, me, who I am is so VASTLY different to who I was in my early 20s. Get out there and experience ALL the things you can to really get to know who you are! Focus on making a life that FULFILS you. A big thing for me was to stop reading books like this, to relieve some bullshit pressure impeded by others. At 28 I decided I was going to sell everything, stop participating the rat race life and travel and explore! Best thing Iâve ever done. Follow your own path, whatever that looks like.
your videos just don't disappoint. acknowledging as always, and I really loved the critic part of you video and thank you so muchâ€ïžâ€ïž
I'm 20 right now and I'm more conscious of and I guess worried abt how I'm living my life and setting myself up for the rest of my life. This was so useful to hear! I feel like it's reassured me that it's important to be intentional (something that I've been doing since the pandemic myself) but as with anything in life, balance in key and so you need to balance being intentional with just having fun and relaxing and not taking life seriously!
i turn 19 today and this video coming out today feels like it was meant for me to see â€ïž thank you for giving me some comfort and positivity:) hope you have a wonderful birthday jade!!
happy bday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FELLOW PISCES QUEEN đ đŠâš thank you so much! have an incredible birthday
Such a good video, Jade! I finished my BA a year ago and am now in my industry but realising the limitless potential out there for my other passions, which have suddenly become way bigger than I thought they would. It's been a journey, and I'm still on route to figuring things out for myself - but this has been really great for added clarity. Nothing like devoting ourselves to what truly drives us & is realistic, even if it hurts our own and others' expectations of ourselves. That and experience! If a route isn't what you expected, it's best to go back and catapult your life into a more fulfilling place, always. We've got time on our side, so let's make use of it.
My casual magic of the day is this video. Happy birthday. Love youuđđ€đ
happy early bday jade!! i hope u have the most wonderful bday w ur family & friends, go treat urself and have fun!!
I got to vote for my very first time today, and I realized that from now on only more things will change
Sometimes, I feel very anxious and overwhelmed about the future, but being part of this community that you created, I know I'm not alone in it and I feel better. I'm so grateful for that
Also, the way you've made the light seem gold looks very beautiful ^^
Such a lovely video, came to me at the right time. Thank you for the positivity Jade. â€
Happy birthday Jade đ«. Wish you invest your twenties in the best way possible. Keep spreading love.
Happy birthday jadeđđThank you being the light who guided me to be a better person always. thank you for your great advices , encouragement and support. †â€
whenever someone says that about the twenties i always think of that joke "what?, it gets worse??" but i think you only need to focus on being strong and healthy enough and always moving towards what you actually really feel good about doing, call it passion, call it what you love, what makes you happy, makes you centered, your mission, blah blah blah, just a reason to take another step that day and the next one, so i hope we get clarity in our vision to know what we really want, to be wise with what we already have and to remain safe and healthy to be competent with our doings and seekings. Its a pleasure to try even if i'll fail and if it will be as tough and painful as i can imagine it could be
happy birthday Jade! Your videos always speak to me & I always seem to relate to your personality Iâm so many ways. Great video!!
honestly, the idea of being intentional is liberating
at the end of the day even experiments full of mistakes are good since you try and learn what you like and don't
great video, thank you!
Happy birthday dear Jade, and thank you so much for this gorgeous videođ