Narcissists & Cheating
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- čas přidán 27. 08. 2020
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NARCISSISTS AND CHEATING//Do you think your narcissist husband, wife, or partner might be cheating on you? Is your narcissist always hiding things on their cell phone? Watch this video to find out the narcissist cheating patterns, how to catch a cheating narcissist and how to deal with them when you do.
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• Narcissists & Cheating
Want to learn more about what happens when you catch a narcissist cheating? Come join me on my free webinar, the 3 MUST HAVE Secrets to Communicating with Narcissists right here: www.rebeccazung.com/live
I will be there live to answer all your questions. Can't wait to meet you there!
I will be there live to answer all your questions. Can't wait to meet you there!
I disagree. ALL narcissists are cheaters. If the narc is not cheating they are grooming the next supply, which is CHEATING.
They are attention whores.
I'm new to learning about narcissistic behavior, I was in a relationship with one, and I didn't know it until I looked up the definition and started researching then I realized who I was dealing with.
Narcissists are so classic. They all go to the school of narcissistic behavior. They pull the same thing on their partners and it doesn’t matter the name the actions are all the same. Personally in my experience, and I’m ashamed to say I have much experience, narcissism and cheating go hand-in-hand. They believe they are entitled to it.
I had one who couldn't admit it even though it was clear. No remorse, no apology no guilty at all. Denial denial denial......
They told me they never did anything to hurt me! 🤣 I had all the text messages proving it! So dumb!
@@tbf390 Same here...🙄
yup no remorse AT ALL! that's what gets me it's like a kick in the gut
Even when caught with two women in truck, deny deny lie lie and smile about it
Me too
7:30 - 10000% accurate. Deflection...he would always accuse me of cheating when it was the other way around.
Same especially when the gig was up and I mentioned her strange behaviors
You can never be enough for a Narcissist individual they will emotionally manipulate and abuse you. If you try to have boundaries they will start mirroring your actions when all you seek is openness, honesty and communication.
Everything she said is absolute facts! Sadly, this all happened to me: abuse, addict, adultery. Thank God I broke free and am healing. Spread the word people!!
And please watch out for that little smirk that they give you or those little put-downs. It's not so little in the end
The smirk 🤮
The little side digs are THE WORST! We went for counseling and he actually did it in the councilor’s office. He played like he did t say it. Then he refused to go back because she wanted to continue sessions with him on his own and not with me. 🤪
Lol for.real.😈
And if people didn't constantly get in relationships with narcissist people in these videos wouldn't need to be made so the problem lies in the people getting in relationships with narcissist.
@@leolovell6218 Are you one of those people?
In my ex narcs case “you’re just jealous and insecure. You don’t know what you’re talking about you need help. You’re delusional.”
YES! When I KNEW he was cheating he called me “crazy” “insecure”etc -
@@Spector06111 exactly
This is exactly what my ex-fiancé would do! Also, I always felt like I was worth nothing due to all his flirting, attention seeking, and micro-betrayals with other girls! Thank God I was able to see the truth and get out, 26 days away from my wedding I left. He said he didn’t even care..... all those “I love you more than anyone else in the world” meant nothing! It all makes sense now because narcissists can’t love anyone or anything over themselves. I feel bad for narcissists, what an empty shell of a life they live, crippled by low self esteem under all the false pride and ago.
Mine accused me of gaslighting him lol that ME seeing a message was ME gaslighting HIM he’s a whole other level of douche canoe
Mine loves to say, you always think you know whats going on but that not how it is.... Right... Im not stupid hunny
Another reason that narcissists cheat is that they lack object permanence, meaning you don't exist when they don't see you. They also don't truly bond with their partner. It makes chasing other relationships while with you something they can do without any moral qualms. Often times, they are setting up another relationship while in the current one so they don't have to be alone. It often comes as a shock to the partner they just left to see how quickly they move on. That would be a giant red flag for narcissism because it means that they were never truly bonded to the previous partner.
You are 100% correct
Wow that is so true that they lack "object permanence" as i felt that every time I left his side - anything could happen! I just sensed it.
Your comment is on point ! It’s a pattern they always have someone lined up !
They never truly bond! Everytime I call that out he would blame it on my attachment and bpd issues. They have a literal inability to bond. I got so frustrated that I would let the anger get the best of me and call him names (definitely not a wise move... don't let your anger get to you or they will poorly use it against you when they talk to their friends and family while they lie they're the real victim). I suspected in early 2021 something wasnt right and well I was right (the sexting). I got angrier (rightfully, but I would take it too far when there was no context) but I didnt want to confront him because he would just make up excuses and I was also terrified to confront him. I tried so desperately to be like the girls he was much more attracted to. I realized then I meant nothing to him. I always thought it was my fault that we didnt get super close. But no, I was just a toy. Just a toy.
I always had a suspicious feeling about his first girlfriend in high school when he said she cheated on him and abused him. I believe now it's a lie and he probably did all that to her.
@@chihuahuakween2085 very well said! They cannot bond as they have a multitude of issues with intimacy and relationships. People are there to serve a purpose and in the initial love bombing phase they grow fond and like the person but that can change instantly and they can detach at any time knocking you off that pedestal x
I thought I found my Prince Charming 2 yrs ago and boy was I wrong. He is a narcissistic his whole family enabled him too. It was crazy . He would say everything I wanted to hear but his actions were the exact opposite. He protected his phone like it was baby Jesus, I still would like to know what he was doing but I couldn't let it control me so I left him. Learned a long time ago that it doesn't matter what it is the person is doing just the feeling of being lied to was enough for me to leave. And of course he became the victim and I'm the bad guy. Needless to say he's found someone new and I'm still putting my life back together.
Be strong and move on beyond the creep
Break Free
200% correct. I have dealt with this type of person for 30 years now. Breaking free now. 👍
I’ve been married to a narcissist for over 40 years now. For years I blamed myself, I thought something was wrong with me and that’s why he treated me the way he did. I did everything I could to make him happy and satisfied but it never worked. I didn’t know anything about narcissistic behavior. I’ve learned a lot in the last 5 years about it and I know how to handle him now. I realize it wasn’t me but it was him. And when he try’s to make me feel bad or says something negative to hurt me, I turn it back on him.
I found tons if messages on his phone to other girls. He would say I was crazy and that I never saw them. But he would tell them that He was recently divorced because I was the cheater. He had some of these women messaging me telling me I needed to leave him alone because I was crazy. I didn't think I would ever get out. He threatened to kill me several times.
On most posts I see people responding by saying "we must have been dating/married to the same person. Narcissistic behavior is predictable
If you catch them they Gaslight you
my "partner" was at an another woman's place last week and OD'd on speed, ended up in the hospital and blamed me because we haven't been intimate for while - i had surgery on my foot in the summer. He said he wouldn't see her again I'm trying to do a 30 day non contact with him but I already feel like this is a losing battle. We're not living together at the moment and I'm starting to think maybe this is as good as it gets :(
@@allisonblair6254
How rich! Your narc 'partner' is a speed addict...time for you to take control.
What a little simp he will be with the shame of being under the control of a substance. Haha...'who's your master boy? Hmmm...say it..."speed owns me", go on tell me the truth addict'. Then don't react to the fury, just smirk at him and roll your eyes at his tantrum.
so ready to break free although its on hold as our younger daughter had to move back home,still living in an eggshelled house,praying for a way out soon,getting stronger myself through your videos💜🙏
I did that ! My daughter would cry and say don’t leave daddy I used that as an excuse to stay I didn’t want to believe what I was living
Married to a narcissist for 20 years. Just now realizing how awful he’s been…including that hidden bank account he was used by to pay for escorts and “private massages”. I’m soooo over it, and in the process of filing for divorce. Thank you, Rebecca!
Better late than never. You are brave to get out and it will all be a process recovering from it all, but you will have your life back and piece of mind!
Are you divorced yet
I caught mine spending 160 every week...ATM withdrawals!!! I am shook..
Wanting out but we have a young daughter! It's so freaking hard!!!
She cheated for a year, when confronted, the narc agreed to reconciliation, then cheated through reconciliation. She left 4 months ago right at start of Covid. And now it's like the 20 years of our life together meant nothing. Lots of grief and anger in me, but at least I'm free now, finally free. Healing with videos from Rebecca, Dr. Ramani, and Duane at DSD. This is some of the worst pain ever. 💔💔
@macelvee...I also came out of a 20 year situation. It has been very painful. No contact is best. Continue to watch the videos and get therapy. Be well!
It probably feels like wasted time. I lost 8 years to my first husband, and then 3 years to finally get divorced. Your heart will heal with time, but it definitely sucks. There's no short cut through the pain. Be kind to yourself.
I am 1month out of a 20 yr relationship, 10yr marriage. He has been cheating basically the whole time, and I know it. I swear he is on the DL, always wanting to do things with men. New buddies his regular friends don't know, had one he would spend the night at his house, when we were broke up, went to Virginia Beach with one, they had some sort of disagreement, and he ended up coming back on the bus, after what seemed to be a domestic situation, where he took the guys car I left him at the strip club, went and checked out the room that the other guy paid for, then went back to the strip club, and told the guy that they were going home. But dude called the police, got his car and left him there. not to mention he went with only $100 in his pocket.He goes to the park and have a picnic, with a male buddy, the week after, we went and done the same thing. Who by the way I had never heard of, in 20yrs. But of course I am delusional, jealous, etc " quote". Let him tell it! Everytime I would leave he would beg me back, with all the lies. This is the very last time though, I am done.. these videos definitely helped me, because I could not put a name on it. I had been listening motivational messages from TD Jake's, and Joyce Myers, etc. and then one day I opened up CZcams and Wala a video pops up by RC Blake, 7 signs you are married to a narcissist. I listened and bam there it was, the diagnosis... So I just kept listening to different ones. Everything that was said I was living!! All I can say is look at God! now I'm just working on myself, and trying to figure out how, I went from this very confident and very outgoing woman. To an insecure person, who can't even trust my own instincts.. Please keep me in your prayers, because the devil keeps trying to make me, second guess myself.. I don't want to go back, and give him the satisfaction. And I want to stop the self doubt, and useless distraction, that's going on in, the battlefield of my own mind...
God Bless us all...
That's what my ex-husband did. He wanted me and my children because we looked like the perfect family. My career and well behaved children made him look good. Posting family outings on FB but never actually invested in the relationship after we got married. Total Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde.... Sickening.
Same here 😪
Exactly the same. They are cookie cutter, despicable specimens. And that is why they are ex’s. Sickening, is right.
I caught him cheating, ended it and then still wonders why he can't attend my nieces upcoming wedding!!! LOL
I highly suspect my ex bf did this... 😔 because he had side chicks behind my back
Mine did as well. But it was only until I rode his trails to make sure he was doing the right thing even though he was telling me I was crazy. I’ve been vindicated in the last week, 3 years after my divorce, by friends I had been avoiding just to not have to discuss what happened. They are telling me they see it all through his actions and his fb posts. Wow. Just wow. The truth eventually comes out!
This is exactly what my ex-fiancé would do! Also, I always felt like I was worth nothing due to all his flirting, attention seeking, and micro-betrayals with other girls! Thank God I was able to see the truth and get out, 26 days away from my wedding I left. He said he didn’t even care..... all those “I love you more than anyone else in the world” meant nothing! It all makes sense now because narcissists can’t love anyone or anything over themselves. I feel bad for narcissists, what an empty shell of a life they live, crippled by low self esteem under all the false pride and ago.
THIS HURTS READING THIS BECAUSE THIS ALSO EXACTLY HAPPENED TO ME 😢
Over time you do understand how shallow a narcissist is. They are trapped by their own machinations.
Breaking Free!!! just waiting for papers!! even bought a special pen!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Stefanie Samuel-Tyson, Me too! Congratulations!!💪🏾✊🏾
Break Free!!!!
Yeah, I hear you. I kept the pen the lawyer handed me to sign the papers. It was the happiest day of my life.
Mine won't sign the papers and I don't know where he is.
Been subjected to all of it. Once I started learning about narcissism, I stopped caring about them. My relationship with them now is business like, distant, and indifference to their toxicity. I have turned my focus to my own life, my creative projects -- work I love doing. I'm okay being alone, but still enjoy people from time-to-time -- casual, platonic acquaintances. The keys are indifference and having work you love to do. If at all possible, leave the narcissist and never speak to them again. Be careful though as people who don't have any empathy for you can be very dangerous. Watch out for being a victim of DV, a concern for both women and men.
Nailed it yet again Rebecca. I’ve been broken free for 2-1/2 years, but this episode is exactly what I dealt with the last 4 months of my former marriage. Addiction and Adultry! So insightful!!!
Breaking free!! This video describes my husband to a tee!! Divorcing him after 23 years married. He cheated & got her pregnant! Destroyed our life & family (2 daughters age 15 & 20 ).
I’ve been through the worst level of indescribable pain & trauma over this in the past year. He pulled the rug right from under me in a matter of minutes one morning. He waited till the child was almost due to be born to tell me everything. It’s been a long road. I filed for divorce this January and finally getting a trial date soon. I’ve learned so much from your videos & I use the techniques with my lawyer & in my case. Thank you so much!!!❤️
Smarter narcs let you have full access to their phone. They give you the pass code. They leave it out and make a point of it.
They have another phone. They have a Burner phone. They have an app on their phone you will never detect...these are just a few examples of what your narc has going on. It could be one or several of these things.
They are devious geniuses.
My narcissist had strictly online affairs with women he never met from other states via video chatting. And his excuse was its not cheating if he didn't actually have sex with them. And yes it was my fault all the time.
I suspect my husband is also having online affairs but I can't find proof of it. I'll need it in the divorce, he's going to fight me tooth and nail. It's a terrible situation
Omgodd
These are literal words the guy I liked had said🙂🙂🙂
it IS cheating. My ex did this and I was in denial and all my friends and family say it is cheating. I had to accept it... even if it hurts so much. I loved him so much...... I was so stupid and blind to ever step foot into his life in the first place, and to let him into mine.
After 9 years of marriage I’m finally getting a divorce. I was never allowed to hold her phone in all those years. Phone or divorce, she chose divorce. Side note: I’m the coward cheated on 6 “known” times. You can do the math.
@@watchinfireflies7201 see if a collegue or friend can help to honey trap him online into flirting/arranging to meet online and then you have proof... it is a small world after all and that could be someone coming to you to tell you they caught him 🤷♀️
Mine accused me of cheating all the time. Saying I was talking to men I was not. Come to find out it was him.
Great video. My soon to be ex-narcissist husband was cheating on me with someone he met online. He discarded myself and our children for her. Sad part is, he actually cheated throughout our marriage. He would make comments about others cheating and I always thought that was strange. Now I know. He had the perfect life in his eyes. He had a wife and 3 kids. And he traveled a lot as a government contractor so he was never home. I filed for our divorce after I kicked him out. I'm done. I deserve better.💯
My respect to you always Rebecca. There is no question because they're always cheating on you in some way shape or form. They have no code
I broke free over a year ago and moved on. She can't stand the fact that I don't want her in my life
I was so stranded to a point where I had no idea on what to do next
I learned a lot from this video. Thanks for sharing 👍
Thanks great info great insight pretty much the deal was already sealed but this really sealed it cuz you hit the nail on the head on about four or five different things I mean pretty much exact situations. Thank you I'm learning as well.
Collecting us as supply..like "canned food". Good one, Miss Rebecca!
This just confirms that my ex was cheating on me since the first month we started dating. Sad but the truth is the truth and it hurts
Mine love bombed me before cheating ( don’t lie to somebody smarter than you) I confronted them and they said it was because I was not emotionally available. I think the love bombing was to make me think they were so wonderful to me so that I wouldn’t suspect they were cheating. So glad to be free of the emotional abuse. One day in the future when they are old alone and no longer charming they will realize I was the best thing they ever had and it will cause them regret and secretly this makes me happy. As the old saying goes if something or someone is to good to be true it probably is not what I seems .
Damn same experience
Cheating is never okay whether you are a narcissist or a normal person
My thoughts exactly
Break free!
Great video
Everything you said literally hit everything. He accused me of cheating constantly, controlling, I always had to prove myself to be good enough and even gave him every single one of my passwords cause he was so paranoid for no reason. Funny because, even while he had my passwords, he was cheating on all of his social media platforms, as well as on dating apps. I never checked his phone so I didn’t find out until the one time I did, LoL. He hid all of his notifications, this lasted for 5 full months, him completely living a double life . He of course love bombed me after promising me he’d change but still kept hiding dating apps for awhile. Even gaslighting making me believe somehow it was my fault ... when I knew logically I was beyond loyal to him. Anyways, finally just recently went completely no contact. He’s made about 10 different accounts just to reach me after me blocking every one. GOD these people are made from hell.
He is cold dude
same here but i was dealing with a female narc
Mine, wasn't / isn't mortified. Hardly ever apologized. He actually told me that had I given him more attention, he wouldn't have done what he did. He back peddles this comment every once in a while, by admitting he never should have...but, something inside of me just doesn't feel he's genuine???
Cool story of life it's so true about narcissist 👍 my ex is just that. Been loved boomed in the last few months. To much Drama for me.
Thank you for your time 💙
Yup! All three were true. The adultery, of course, was my fault. Her addiction issues I was also blamed for. The emotional abuse was too much. I wasn’t certain if my name was Peter anymore. I began to think it was “Stupid”.... I couldn’t understand why our common passwords were always being changed. Now I do.... she had a very secret life and didn’t want me to know about it. LOL! This part is pretty funny! When she took a shower she did, indeed, have her cell phone with her. The only time that cell phone was in a stationary position was when she was sleeping. And of course it was locked tight.... The lies, the cruelty, the emotional abuse were very difficult to live with but the adultery was for me the worst. I never recovered from this cruel form of human behavior....but I think I’m beginning to survive. Thanks to you and others and all who support us survivors.💔
My heart goes out to you Peter... I'm going through the same
@@joviedwards1064 thank you very much! I wouldn’t wish what I’ve gone through or what you are going through as we are both going through,unfortunately, the same on anyone! My heart goes out to you as well! ❤️
@@peterknyk1942 I know the feeling... not on my worst enemy... sigh. Just plain difficult especially on days when you think you are doing so great and then something triggers you...
@@joviedwards1064 for certain, it is the triggers and these triggers come along in so many different ways.... it's sometimes very disheartening....💔
@@peterknyk1942 Did you have children because I have a daughter and we own a home together. Iv just dont know how to let him go at the moment. I just feel weak... thank you for responding too.
BREAKING FREE! FILED ON 06/09/2020 AND GOING THROUGH HELL!
We're rooting for you! Sorry you have to go through this. Life will get better when you're free of him!
Hang in there. You can do this. You deserve it!!!
The naracassit I'm with never used to hide his phone and never took it with him and I knew the password, but it's only because he erased all history, all text messages, deleted his phone calls and all his Google history and Google activity. I always have my phone with me and I'm not a cheater or narcissistic, so I believe that each case is different to a degree. He has lots of secret banks accounts, he's a truck driver and always has an excuse as to why he gets home 3 or more hours later than he's supposed to and denies everything even if I have the evidence right in front of him. He is a habitual liar and manipulator
Idk what my situation is, me and my ex got back together, she wanted to get back together, told me she loved me and how she never stopped. Not even 2 weeks later after I took her back, she was in a new relationship. She even justified it and pairing me out as the bad guy.
Typical
Ah the Narcissist Smirk.
Makes a person sick to look at their foul face..
I’m ready!
Thank you
BREAK FREE!!!
Break Free!
(The 7 👎 - probably cheaters...)
Thank you, Rebecca. 💖
Break free....you hit it soon right you describe my husband
Break free. Done
BREAK FREE!
yep she will not leave her phone anywhere and when i walk into the room she hides the phone
@@RebeccaZungEsq thank you very much
Thank you so much I now know that I am not crazy and that feels goos
Break Free!
.wow .on the spot
She was very controlling and kept hiding her phone away from me
My narcissist had absolutely NO impulse control. Other guys she had dated in her past told me the same thing. If she sees something she likes she thinks nothing of acting on it and cheating with them. And she doesn't see anything wrong with it or think it's a big deal. Thank God I dodged that bullet early on.
sucks i wasted 15yrs next to a narc completely oblivious to what she was doing . but grateful its over and i can move on.
And when the narcissist cheats, there is no remorse. Their cheating is your fault, because of something you’ve done.
That has happen to me,herd all the signs,i have been accuse of it also.thank you.
OMW...so true!
but it was becoming unbearable to take in, been loyal to a cheating ass partner is a thing I couldn't take no more
Break free‼️
it was so important.
Breaking free
Break Free!!!
Yeah I got all 3!
Brake Free !!!!
Thanks again for a very good video!
BREAK FREE ! 🕊️🙌💪🥰
ALL THREE apply to me-just found out my abusive husband has been having an affair
D
Break free 🙌
You are a beautiful woman . i love hearing from others about narcissistic abusive behavior..its good to know you aren't alone.
My stbx actually sent me screenshots of pics of him and his new supply! Never denied it, but lied about ending it…TWICE!! He’s still with her, hence why I’m leaving with the kids next week! And he’s still asking me if I’m making the right decision in leaving…like WTF???
I already broke free from a narcissist... And life got good...
Or when you catch them they convince you that it's all in your head and if you don't get help you can get out,then 3 months later you find the text messages and pictures proving that you were right all along and when you show them what you found the only thing they say is " Good for you"!
All 3 and happily divorced an enlightened.
I believe mine has cheated for years, he never had a job with accountable times, worked on the road with all jobs and hasn't touched me in over 10 years. He's a covert narcissist and I'm scared I can't catch him. I did catch him in an emotional affair.
I'm with you. Mine don't touch me for 5years now.
So you have met him! All you have said describes him exactly
I am definitely going to
Break Free!
Break Free!!!!!!!!!!
Break free!! Im trying to!😢
6:22 & 7:50 described perfectly
BREAK FREE!
Break Free!!! 🤠
Break FREE
Break free
BREAK FREE
Break free,
Breaking Free!!!
I recently found out what are narcissist is by going to a therapist after I found out my husbands affair. I found all the messages on his phone. To this day he denies it. The messages are🤮 the lies are unbelievable they actually try to say the secret double lives they have behind your back. The gaslighting I received made me think I was crazy. It’s gonna take me years to recover from this 💔
Break Free from the jerk!
My narc ex discarded me for a business owner. I think she feels he is a much better catch than me. My question is, if a narc finds such an amazing catch... can they help up the facade indefinitely?
Break Free
Oh wow I am living with a cheating narcissist
Absolutely Rebecca mine was constantly texting on a locked phone the lawyer said huge red flag!😡
Damn this hits home...
10 year marriage to narcissist Korean lady (not a lady at all). I was infatuated, so I fell hard into her powers. I paid all bills for 10 years. Trained her and paid for her certifications in oilfield work. I paid for her international vacations while I continued to work 6 days a week. When we retired, I refused to build her a house with my money. She was rude, insulting and hid her finances. I got mad and divorced her instantly. That is what she wanted. I found out she had keep all her money. Took most of mine (over $600,000) and went to Korea. She even left her 3 pets behind. She never loved me. I was stupid for trusting her. I am badly hurt by being robbed by someone I loved. She kept her money hidden. Used my credit card to pay off her cards.
The shelf supply metaphor is so true.