How To Do a Fourth Step (EASY)
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- čas přidán 11. 09. 2024
- You can do this! An easy 4th Step form that really works in less than ten minutes. Do this now! This is good for everyone who breathes air on planet Earth. It's free and easy and fun! This will change your life in the twinkling of an eye. WE CAN'T STOP YOU FROM DOING THIS!
This step works for everyone who tries it. You don't have to be an alcoholic to make it work, but it helps to be one because drunks are good at holding grudges and complaining about being victims. This step is a guaranteed cure for whatever ails you! The reason I stop at the "now about sex" part is that the bottom of page 69 says, "God alone can judge our sex situation." Nobody else's business! Just my opinion.
After completing the form, read three paragraphs in the Book to complete steps 6, 7 and 8. ONLY THREE PARAGRAPHS!! It starts with "Returning home" at the bottom of p. 75 and the next two paragraphs at the top of p. 76. Congratulations! You are now free from care, boredom and worry. Life will mean something at last! And don't forget to pass it on. Oh, for all you wonderful argumentative drunks out there, if you do this form with another human being, preferably one who's been sober longer than you, the Fifth Step has been completed while working through the form. Easy, just as I promised. Don't forget that the slogan is "Easy Does It."
If this doesn't work for you, it's probably because you're still not sober. This form WILL work for anyone who's been sober for just one day, but it's more fun after three days when the injuries and grudges seem painfully acute. This form kills the pain immediately. This form will get and keep you straight and sober. You don't ever have to drink or drug again! And, yes, marijuana is a drug.
The week after I posted this video, Moshe asked for comments on his videos! Will wonders never cease?
Permission to use this Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is described in the A.A. Service Manual, a very heavy (but fun) book written by Rockefeller lawyers who really knew their stuff. We are allowed to use any and all AA material AS LONG AS WE AREN'T MAKING MONEY OFF IT. The program of Alcoholics Anonymous is for fun and for free. If anyone makes you pay to get sober, you're in the wrong place. Find a different meeting, or start your own. See AA Service Manual for further instructions! Welcome to the free world!!
See you around tables! The reason we keep coming to meetings is to find newcomers to work this Fourth Step alongside. Do it with them. Refresh your own list, and it becomes your Tenth Step. The last three steps are pure joy. Here's a link for the Big Book online: www.whytehouse....
I love the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous but I am weary of this inventory. Isn't it common to write out 4 columns? Who/why/what it affects (pride,ego,pocketbook,security,ambition, relationships,fear) and then our part- where were we selfish, dishonest and self seeking and afraid? When I write an inventory it is thorough. Half measures availed us nothing. And fear inventory and sex inventory is extremely important. A forth column isn't circling yes or no- that's more or less a mental tenth step. Newcomers watch what you see on CZcams
Do you believe that God has been watching/involved in every minute of your life, and that God-as-you-understand-Him loves and forgives you for every part you played in those fear/sex situations? Do you believe as the Big Book says that self-knowledge cannot help us? Isn't that a remarkable idea, that just rehashing old "sins" doesn't help at all, but instead I'm supposed to make a link between where I went and the drugs and alcohol. If I can equate the drinking to the inventory, I've made a good first step. Some of the sex offenses happened because my parents were too busy with their own addictions to guide and teach me as a child. Thus, my job today is to learn to trust God, and that's enormously difficult when we were harmed as children. It seems a part of our brain grew up being mad at God, and so now in sobriety we get to figure out how to trust God. How do you do it?
I agree. I need to go a little deeper.
Ryder Love I totally agree... When I saw her circle the s.s. I was like WTF ?!?!?!? I BET SHE SUPPORTS TRUMP
You're correct ryder. The third column contains the seven parts of self that are listed in the big book. Self esteem, pride, personal relationships, emotional security, ambitions, pocketbook, and sex relations. Starting an inventory by judging whether some other person, place or thing is spiritually sick is not going to get you very far. A good sponsor and home group will save and change your life. Not some person with s keyboard
Ryder Love agreed! This woman is clearly seeking the "easier and softer way"
Brilliant! Makes the step less daunting and Quick & Easy, as was intended by our AA Founders. FYI- Commentator might seem a little weird, at first or make you wonder if you’re watching a SNL skit, She’s a real character! She’s hilarious - very funny! I enjoyed the quirky personality she brought to her tutorial!
Sorry but this is not a big book fourth.... There are four columns to a resentment 4th step 1. "we listed people, institutions, and principles with whom we were angry" 2. "We asked ourselves why we were angry" (column #2) 3-"was it because our self esteem, security, ambitions, personal, or sex relations were interfered with?" (Then sick mans prayer) then we put out of our mind column 2 (the wrongs others did) and write "where were we selfish dishonest self seeking frightened?"
A simplified example (though I like to write out column 3 fully now not like this example) is 1. Mosha 2. Won't enable comments 3. Ambitions and personal relations 4 selfish- wanted to tell him what was "right" dishonest- believed I knew best for others, self seeking - expected, watched video, talked bad. Frightened - not being in control, not being heard..... The fear inventory is separate and we literally list our fears not circle yes or no u identified no fear all u said was "mosha is scary" there is no freedom there
That is so deep! I'm meditating on your insightful reply. Honestly, I've tried for almost thirty years to grasp this Fourth Step stuff. Here's what goes wrong for me when I do it your way -- I want Moshe to enable comments so I can share with him about God's mercy, that God is the Great Allower, and is so polite that He will let people go an entire lifetime without seeing Him if that's what they want. They're missing out, but that's what I've come to understand about God. It's not that I want to point out anything bad about Moshe, or feel superior to him, but that I'm pretty desperate to share with others how great God is. Guess they get to find out for themselves, eh? I like your comment about being free from fear. Thanks for sharing.
+Pamela Pratt (Pamela Pratt in Victor) "sometimes he is kind considerate even modest and self sacrificing.. On the other hand he may be mean egotistical selfish and dishonest" ... The motives behind column 2 (the reason) is irrelevant regardless of how pure ur intentions are... I wasn't stating ur perception of him was wrong I was just stating the format is not big book... Like say my ex cheated. Column 1- my ex. Column 2- she cheated.. Column 3- self esteem, ambitions, personal relations, sex relations.... Column 4- selfish- wanted control, wanted to do as I pleased, dishonest - believed I was a victim and did nothing to lead up to this, believed people would play the role I assigned , self seeking - (actions) - neglected her emotionally, used her for sex, worked 60hrs a week, frightened - rejection abandonment disrespect
+Pamela Pratt (Pamela Pratt in Victor) thejaywalker.com and click "4th step resentment examples" has the most in depth and best, but all big book inventories should have four columns of name, reason, areas of self, and "turnaround" (selfish dishonest self seeking frightened) written out, God bless email me decarr108@gmail.com any questions or want to try this style inventory
+Daniel Carr by identifying the actions I took to place myself in the position to be hurt (self seeking) then next thing u know I'm going out making amends to "that b**** who cheated on me" because i see I took actions that led to that situation
Love this! Working on my 4th step for the first time now. Delaying it because it's too overwhelming. You put it into little digestible chunks that make it seem much more manageable, and the end result works just as well. In the end it all comes down to trusting God with everything. That's the only way we can let go of our resentments. The opposite of fear is trust. Fear is the devil. Trust in God!
+Lisha Yost, it took me a long time to learn this method. It was in the book all along! The Tenth Step is just a quickie version of this same thing. So the Four Horsemen in the last chapter are also the same -- fear, self-delusion, self-seeking and self-pity. They told me that I had to get over myself. It seems that our brains are wired to always be worrying about ourselves, which is a good thing until I worry about things that are God's business, not mine. Like me and my life, which are none of my business any more. My life ended when I did that Third Step. Now I watch for the Spirit to work, and just do the simple, easy things the Spirit puts in front of my face today. Like cleaning house and chopping wood (other sick people). It's really hard to not try to fix other people, but they are either working this Fourth Step or they're not. When I tell them about this method, it always helps me more than it helps them. And then I head out away for another meeting, shaking the dust from my boots. And it's not what I can get from a meeting, but what I can give, even if that means only cleaning the toilet (the most spiritual place in the world). Hey, thanks for this meeting!
You are accepted as an honorary member of my home group for that question! Listen to the video again, paying close attention to the words "say the Third Step prayer with them." Also remember that the book is meant to be suggestive only, that we need only seek God, not find God. He reveals himself to us, not that we are able to find HIm on our own. Lack of power, that was our dilemma. After taking the Third Step, God does all the managing, and all we do is the simple, easy stuff the Spirit puts in front of our face today. I tell God to make it easy, obvious and fun because I'm done with suffering. So we let the Program work us, instead of our working the Program. We just cut wood and carry water, and sober it is so darn easy! The pertinent quote is from p. 57, "When we drew near to Him He disclosed Himself to us!" And thanks for sharing.
Pamela Pratt But what if youre athiest?
Your comment didn't come to my inbox, and that will be the topic at my meeting today. If you're still an atheist, you simply haven't done enough drugs and alcohol yet. Really. There is no greater gift from God than a good stiff drink when you really need one, eh? And after you join the Fellowship, there's no greater gift than meeting another member, because we are so rare. We are so rare. So rare . . . .
a God of your own understanding, mine is the power in the rooms or when I sit next to the river now there is a power greater than I. I incorporate Refuge Recovery into my AA recovery for me no need for the Christian God
there were 2 atheists in the AA meeting last night both have over 30 years of sobriety
I know someone with 46 years who isn't a real alcoholic! These Steps are just suggestions, anyway. If you can find a different way to do it, our hats are off to you, but AA meetings are supposed to be about AA, where we have stopped fighting anyone or anything, and God has made that possible for me today, and for that I am grateful. Thanks for sharing.
Lmaooo! Drunks don’t like to work too hard. 😂
We and others in 12-step fellowhships work harder than anyone else.
True.. true … 😆🤙🏻
Pamela you have a totally different approach and I notice in a lot of meetings we dont even get to these steps after years of attending, so thank you , you are doing people a great service.
Took me awhile, too, because my group just focused on staying sober. Which is okay, but after a few years of being sober it helps to really learn how the Steps work, and makes staying sober so much more of a joy, as though just being allowed to be sober isn't enough of a great reward in itself! But I found myself feeling sort of isolated and lonely because there weren't enough sober people and meetings out here where I moved, so I started listening to AA speakers online and learned a lot, and it just got better from there! In the early days they needed to do the Steps because there were so few people in the Program, and they were surrounded by people with a bad opinion of alcoholism -- really bad, not like the well-meaning social worker-types now that coddle us and say "relapse is part of recovery." No, it's not. I've either had enough or I haven't had enough yet. For me, I've had enough. I'm done. DONE. Many of the online speakers ask the new people, "Are you done?" Yup. And then I get to learn how merciful God is about the people who aren't done yet. Incredible mercy. God doesn't make us quit until we're really done, and in my case I had to keep going for four more months until the miracle happened, just to make sure I got the message. Yes, God will let us drink and drug and whatever to our hearts' content. People (social workers) may want us to quit before we're THERE, but God always has the final say about that. Thanks for the meeting, dear.
Pamela Pratt you are very knowledgeable, its good to hear you have joy in your life I hope you keep posting videos thank you
The steps are SUGGESTED steps to recovery.. I've been sober 15yrs an awesome dad, friend and spouse thanks to the rooms.. but I'm a 1.2.3 and 12 step guy.. so everyone who is sober is winning.. do what's right for you.. and for all you drunks chastising this crossdresser , best do your inventory..
Hey, I put off a Fourth Step for longer than you've been sober, and I thought it was because I had gotten sober the first time at age 18 and had been a sheltered Catholic girl with not enough time or money to get into much trouble -- and for decades I was so jealous of people who could tell rip-roaring war stories while my own story even bored me. I swear I felt true nasty jealousy towards people who had a good story, and after 3 1/2 years I had to go back out -- and it took another five years to get sober this time, even though I went to the meetings and read the book and got a sponsor and prayed all the damn time. It was hell, always walking right out of a meeting and hitting the bar or the dope house. No matter what I did or said or tried, I couldn't stay sober. Then one day I said the prayer right, and it wasn't "God help me" but "What do you want, God?" A one-eighty turn around, and I haven't had a single moment of misery since. Well, twice I thought for one minute, "At this point, whiskey would help," but it quickly passed. Truly haven't had a bad day in almost 32 years, even though it sure does get interesting sometimes. But never bad, because I just keep looking for the light, and it always finds me. So this time sober I couldn't work a Fourth Step because it really didn't make sense to me until I moved up here in the middle of the mountains of Colorado and there are no AAs so I started listening online to the geniuses recorded on AA speaker tapes, and I learned what a Fourth Step was and now life is so much better that there's no way I'll ever have to go back out. So I made this video -- because maybe it will help someone who's been told how to do a Fourth Step that is not at all like the suggestion in the Big Book. Hey, thanks for sharing, dear!
If you are new, and you are watching this be very WARY! Any good sponsor will never be prejudice against ANY religion! We are all God's children, no matter what our religious preferences are! AA does NOT REQUIRE YOU TO BE CHRISTIAN! In fact you don't have to believe in God at all! This woman is clearly Islamophobic and NOT a good representative of what is taught in AA
If new people can stay sober on their own without God they don't need us at all. Good for them! Any way people find to stop or moderate when their drinking is causing problems is a good thing. Our hats are off to them. The Book says that "real alcoholics of our type" must find God, and says that if we ask God to reveal himself to us, He will. We don't find God, but God finds us. If you're not ready to meet the real, living God, DO NOT ask Him to reveal Himself and He won't. God is very polite and doesn't go where He is not welcome. Yes, the word "must" appears 84 times in the Book, even though it's meant to be suggestive only. Interesting that the "real" alcoholics God created are quite rare. Folks who just need to cut back on their drinking a little are a dime a dozen. Thanks for sharing.
Read your book! It's "A God of your OWN UNDERSTANDING". And that, my dear, can be ANY POWER greater than YOURSELF!
petty amen
@@HistoryAnonymous right but it has nothing to do with religion. You don’t have to be Christian to go through this work. I would be very careful making up your own to do this fourth step, that’s not how it’s outlined in the big book. I think you’re missing the point of the fourth step.
@@slayr0n410 Thanks for your insights, dear. Please explain a little more to me, okay? First, I really don't know what you mean by "Christian" because the steps say that God (whatever) will remove what's blocking us from Him, not that by confessing guilt over a list of sins relieves me of their burden. Instead, I get to spend the rest of my life sharing the gory details of my Fourth Step with the whole world, and only then will God (whatever) allow me to continue to be sober. Unless, of course, I'm not a real alcoholic and just quit because I thought it was a good idea for me to "improve myself." Actually, I've come to believe that God likes us drunks best of all other people -- for our courage and our resilience and our ingenuity and for sheer entertainment value in the spiritual world. If nothing else, drunks in their cups are not boring, eh? And our attempts to avoid sobriety make the angels laugh, don't you think? Please let me know what I'm missing here, since as a real alcoholic, I hate missing out on anything.
I am looking for extra guidance on my 4th step and frankly this disturbed me a little. I immediately noticed aggression and frustration. It's the very thing I am trying to control while doing my work. I just didn't hear any peace of mind or so called Serenity. I wish you all well. I guess the format helped me some. Thanks for that.
Wow, oh dear, thanks for sharing! Maybe this will help -- there are three points to the triangle, AA is the parent, Al-Anon is for friends and family, and ACA/ACoA is for people who grew up in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional family. For years, I thought I was an Al-Anon more than AA, and then I switched to just AA for awhile, and then tried ACA (go to adultchildren.org) and even went to their convention and met the people who wrote the Red Book, and they were so wonderful! And I bought two dozen ACA red books and gave them away and tried to start a group and failed. So I went back to AA and realized that it's the same Fourth Step. And it's the same questions, which are all about getting us to find something to replace our obsession with self. It's so hard because we're so scared and so needy and so injured and it's so awful and there's nothing we can do to change our feelings on our own, so we make a list and take it to our sponsor, who may or may not be helpful at all (!!) and then the happy day arrives when we sit down with a newcomer and walk them through a Fourth Step, and then the miracle happens, and it changes everything forever, and there's no going back. I have tears in my eyes as I write this -- because it really works, I promise you, that you will be filled with the most indescribable joy, better than the best day you ever spent drinking or looking for love (Al-Anon) or trying to please your family (ACA). So get out there and find a new person who is suffering more than you, and tell them how it works. Wow! It helps to have a Big Book, though, because they will want to argue with you (such fun) and so it helps to point to the words on the page. Okay, get out there, dear!
@@HistoryAnonymous Oh my Gaw!!! Thank you!! That's the kinda stuff I needed to hear. I just finished my 5th step and I feel amazingingly better. Not perfect by any means but such a load has been lifted. Thank you so very much for this response. You have an awesome day honey!!
It's true -- and it just gets better, every day a little bit at a time because we couldn't take it if it happened in big leaps like taking drugs, so it's slow and sane and simple, but it's better every day than our best day drinking, and it never slides backwards, just stays straight and steady and nice and clean and healthy and good, and it's so good every time we remember how good it is -- and it just keeps getting better all the time, and the best part is telling someone else about how good it gets, because it's true. Isn't that wonderful? I'm so glad that it works this way, because I never want to have to feel better by using chemicals again, because they wear off so quickly, and getting more is such hell. Thanks for sharing, sugar.
Whoa whoa whoa, you are a representative of AA. To even imply that muslims should convert in the public eye is againt the twelve traditions. We have room gor everyong except those who unwelcome them
Sorry I didn't make that clear enough for you, dear! The video states, "When Muslims leave hateful comments on your CZcams channel, just reply with a link to Matthew Chapter 1 and they won't write back; tell them that reading it will help them convert Christians to Islam." Lucky you if you haven't been targeted yet, but that always goes at the top of my list because it's impossible to win an argument against a Muslim scholar -- their argument is airtight. Just like arguing with a wet drunk! (Addicted to religion, anyone?) It's impossible to talk an alcoholic into thinking they are one, because in their heart they don't believe it, or don't understand what being an alcoholic is, and "he will laugh it off, or become irritated and refuse to talk." (p.23 ff.) Have you been sober long enough to have a non-alcoholic try to talk you out of being alcoholic? Insanity at its best! But whatever makes God laugh is good with me, dear, so thanks for sharing, and keep that brain working at full tilt because we need our brains to force our bodies to keep coming back.
I think it is ironic that 12 step programs are being used in Muslim countries as a place where converted Christians can meet because if you leave Islam you can be put to death for it.
I also find it ironic that the 12 steps came from the application of Biblical principles and that a group conscience requires a loving God. In Islam God doesn’t love the whole world but only approves of those who obey and disapproves of those who do not. The Christian God loves the sinners and hates the sin while Allah hates sinners. In Islam you are weighed on a scale and if you are 51% good you go to heaven if you are 51% bad you go to hell unless you sacrifice yourself as a martyr killing the unbelievers then you can earn back Allah’s favor.
We begin with a God of our own understanding as long as that God is a loving God... I think that having an honest look at our concept of God is helpful when taking our inventory.
Way to blame everyone on your list . How much coffee did you drink before you did this
Box Elder you are spreading lies. We are religion of peace. Many of those countries don’t follow the sunnah of Islam and terrorism was happening way before Islam. I will not specify religions because that is not what we do. Islam requires you to pray, give to the poor, love your neighbor, respect your mother and father, respect the earth, love and help sinners. These are ways to get into heaven. You sound ignorant. I’m terrified and outraged that you and this woman are using the AA platform for your rhetoric. I should’ve never even brang up Islam. This woman is vile and resentful and obviously missed something and n her own list. That’s dangerous because people are looking for help here
Man there is a lot of judging here for examples if what's on a 4th step. It's like people forgot what there 4th step was like. None of us are perfect. We grow along spiritual lines with the help and support of others and God. Thank you for sharing this. Most would not be so open with what they put on 4th steps for this reason exactly. Thank you.
Half-measures availed us nothing.
This is the most moronic thing Ive ever heard.
@@highpitchnoise It is actually taken from the bible. I know for fact that lukewarm seekers made rough going of life.
Absolutely right on girl!! I'm clean 21 years and this has the SPIRIT of AA!! Thanx for working it Pam!
The longer I stay sober, the more I have to work this step with newcomers, who are the ultimate bullshit detectors. Last week I asked one, "Do you pray?" and she flashed back at me, "Yes I do. All day long." I remember being that way in my own last days of drinking, thanking God for every beer I drank and every joint I smoked. But "thank you" was not enough. The prayer that works for me from Day One sober is, "What can I do for you today, God? Make me willing and make it fun and easy and obvious, because I'm done suffering." Telling this to potentials members is the only real joy I have in life now. Nothing compares to it! Hearing from you today was pretty nice, though. Your answer has the Spirit of AA, too. Thanks for sharing.
iamwithyou1 are u a troll ?
i like how you explained this i did not like how you are using Muslims as a resentment, because you are showing extreme prejudice by going against their religion like that..... their religion tells them there is only one god and to believe that way, just like Christianity, just like Judaism that being said you shouldn't be giving people the ideas of Muslims are bad and that Muslims arent welcome into aa
So interesting to hear more from you about this. It's funny to me that you see it as being "welcome into aa" because I never thought of anywhere as not being AA. If AA is in our hearts and this is God's world, then where can we go that is not AA? Meetings are for newcomers, according to the chapter "A Vision For You," and I've found that to be true. The early AAs used hospitals to carry the message, and people were reached by hearing speakers in the groups, so it starts maybe as a one-on-one but then the meetings/groups play their part in keeping us sober. I never did make it staying sober on my own without going to a meeting at least every other month. Now I go twice a week and I have 31 years. I go because I don't want to lose what I have -- sobriety -- and I carry that message in the meetings. Without sobriety I can fill my pockets with jam because I'm toast. When Muslims want to argue about religion on my channel, I refer them to the first chapter of Matthew because that speaks to their hearts. I don't know why. When I get to Glory -- or Jesus comes back first -- I'll find out why, but all I know for sure is that there is no chance of winning a religious argument with Islam. Can't be done. They win every time, and I personally believe it to be the great end-time deception. Call me crazy because I'll admit it, but Bill W. was firm about admitting all religions, and in the Twelve-by-Twelve he said, "We can't keep you out." That's true, and if I don't like the group I go to, I can either find another group or start my own. It really works that way, and God decides who gets to stay sober or not. It's between each of us and God, really. And then we get to see the difference between real alcoholics and people who just don't drink for religious reasons (muslims). Interesting, eh? Do you "recoil as from a hot flame?" And then try to carry the message at "ordinary whoppee parties?" Golly, this is an interesting Program, and I have found in my 31 years that nobody can hurt AA no matter how hard they try. Isn't that interesting? Shows that God loves AA. Thank heaven for that, and thanks for sharing!
Struggling with my fourth step. Thanks for making it simple!!!
Don't work the Program, let it work you.
Please don't do it this way
Daniel Carr is spot on, at least for the Resentment part of the 4th Step. " A resentment is either they owe you or you owe them".... Pamela, you may want to look up "resentment" in the dictionary. That's not what a resentment is.
Frank Buchman had a Lutheran boys' shelter and was not receiving enough money to feed them, so he got a resentment. Frank was walking down the street and heard a lady preacher talking about resentment being that which separates us from God, and so Frank left the Lutheran church and started the Oxford Group, which Bill W. attended in New York, and so did Dr. Tunks and Dr. Bob in Ohio. That's where the resentment thing came from, and it will work for me today by the Grace of God. Your post was so right on for me today!
You put it very clear and simple. Thank you
Thank you so much brilliant I loved it ! Grateful alcoholic! 44 days sober just starting step 4.
That was really helpful
It works really well if you sit down with a newcomer and tell them how to do it. That's the magic, because they think it's hard and so you make it easy for them -- if they ever answer "no" then you ask them why "no?" Try talking them into "yes" with the question, "Did this have anything to do with your drinking?" and they always cave and say "yes." Usually, but just move on if they insist on "no" -- and sometimes just skip to the last column. I gave one guy a pass when he told me that his father killed his mother in front of him. That did it, he got the prize and was allowed to say "no" in column one, but at the end he said "yes" anyway. I always laugh at the examples in the book -- you know the people who wrote the book were drunks with a sense of humor, eh? That's where I learned how to do this, from listening to those great speakers online. I remember in the 80s when I was trying to get sober (it took awhile), I thought the idea of recording people speaking to AA meetings was a terrible idea, and now I live for those speaker tapes. Do you do zoom meetings? I tried a couple times and just hated it -- which makes me wonder if I'm not done drinking, because when we're done, we get willing to accept things, but I didn't like the zoom meeting. It's so much better to be in the same room within punching distance, eh? You know, with the ashtrays flying. Maybe it's just me? I complained to a sheriff's deputy last week that the judges aren't sending us enough violent people, because we need them because we're bored. So will you help me with something? Somebody just commented that they can't read the end of my reply if it's too long -- will you tell me if you can read this entire message? Okay, dokey. Passing it on. Thanks for sharing.
Take what YOU like and leave the rest. Thanks Pam.
@@earth2tim2 Nice comment -- haven't heard it with the emphasis on the "you" and it's making me think now. I had a really hard time in my first year, and the day after I got one year, it changed sharply for the better. I've asked people about that, and many have agreed about that one-year immediate shift thing -- and now I think it's a trick God does towards long-term sobriety since we never want to have to go through that awful first year again. This explains the first-year pink cloud gift -- to make that horrible first year bearable. I've taken a bunch of group consciences about it and get the same results, since God speaks through the group conscience, which is kinda like the "Point Of Order" in Robert's Rules of Order, yes? Thanks for sharing, dear
You said you get new people to do this right away. Are you saying that you don't have them do step one through three first?
Love Jesus! ❤
Love it !
Your my kind of person
Thanks for sharing
Thank you. My self pity is flecking strong right now and this helped me push through the I can't funking do this case I'm thick thoughts.
Thanks ever so much for reminding me to "get over myself." I remember hearing that for the first time and I thought they were just being shitty to me because I couldn't stay sober, but it has turned out to be the key to happiness -- relief from the burden of self. Of course God made us to want to protect ourselves -- to become afraid when there is danger around -- but after so many drug deals gone bad and so many endless episodes of not being able to get high enough, my brain usually jumps to the wrong conclusion about things -- thinking there is danger when it's perfectly safe now. So today some people who do drugs showed up in town after five years without them here and my brain felt sick until it occurred to me that I may be the only person on planet Earth willing to share my experience in A.A. with them. That's the yardstick -- did someone carry the message to them? Remember how it was before you heard that there was such a thing as sobriety? And they told you about absolute honesty, absolute purity, absolute unselfishness and absolute love? Before someone told me that was possible, I remember thinking I was highly skilled at being able to be friends with Satan. Honest, I thought he would give me a pass for being such an accommodating person. You know, openminded and non-judgmental and understanding. Yeah, but then I found out that the devil hates humans with no exceptions. Nobody escapes this. God told the angels to serve us, to help and protect us anonymously, but the devil said, "No, humans are awful. They're cruel and nasty and stupid, and dear God you are wrong to love them more than you love angels." So that's what I think is going on here -- that God is giving the devil a chance to prove how terrible we are, and that has been well proved, eh? But that merely goes to show how much we need our Merciful and Loving Creator, right? Checkmate. We're not bad people, we're sick people, and when we get straightened out spiritually, the mental and physical follow. That's from the Book, not from me. Thanks for sharing!
This speaks to me. Thanks for sharing.
Lol. This is hilarious. I'm gonna make my own too
Here in Colorado, the court won't send us people because they think it's against our constitutional rights to be court-ordered to a church. Instead, they sent people to alcohol school and make them pay 20 bucks per meeting. A lady with a Big Book gets paid to chair it.
So "the Justice System" is always first on my list, followed by "Health Care System," and that always gets people going. Someone said that drunks always have something to complain about, and who knew that this list would become the secret to sobriety?
At my meetings, I whip out these forms because they kinda fall in line working it, like we're in a classroom or something, but I make them do it so that I can keep up with my own anger/injury list.
I tell them just to write down a name, that I don't want a big story about the things on their list, and then I send them home with a 3-page xerox copy of steps 6, 7 and 8 because when we went through the questions, that was the 5th Step.
Then I tell them that the 9th is God's business, not ours, and that it's when we find out that God is real -- it's where all the miracles happen. I also tell them not to worry about it because only God knows what amends are about because if we weren't stoned and drunk enough to not be able to remember what we did, than maybe we haven't earned our seat yet. Hey, the longer I stay sober, the more I like this program. It works so well. Tear in my eyes.
Oh, I wanted to add a funny complaint -- that I got one guy who right away said, "That's what I hate about this program -- the God part." Wow, what a shock that was, and it turned out he didn't need us yet. It's rare for anyone to get to a real meeting -- not the State's version -- who isn't an absolute believer, eh?
There was another guy who wrote on his list that he watched his father murder his mother, and I told him that he certainly belongs in the bar. There's a program for that called ACA/ACoA, and I tried it for awhile but it just made me unhappy, so I stick to AA now. Thanks for sharing.
Are you still helping others?
I'm have a very hard time with the 4th step. I'm probably making it hard but that's my anxiety hitting the roof. I'm in Texas, thanks for caring.
It's not supposed to be hard, it's supposed to be a joy! The Steps have a number in front of them for a reason. I had to do One through Three for over 20 years before I could move on to Step Four. But when I finally learned how to do it, it's now my favorite Step! I work it now as often as I can -- and that means I now struggle to find things to get angry or resentful about. Okay, let's do it now. I am hurt (injured) that my father died two years ago and cut me out of his will because I refused to turn my back on AA and drink with him. Well, how does it affect me? Not at all. I've lived my whole life without him pretty much. Sent cards, but he avoided me as if my alcoholism was contagious. Okay, so can I put up with that just for today? Or do I need to run down to the bar and set my hair on fire? Well, no, I can stand it just for these 24 hours because I have CHOSEN to trust God. Trusting God is in the last paragraphs in the chapter about the Fourth Step. This is a program of action and trusting God is an action. Making a decision in Step Three is an action. Going to a meeting and finding someone to talk to about the Program is an action. The longer we work the Program (or let it work us), the better we get at telling new people How It Works. And the better we get at that, the more fun it is. I have been at it long enough that it's now a RIOT and I have a hard time keeping a straight face talking about staying sober -- and new people get offended by laughter, isn't that funny? I remember that I did -- I thought they were being sacrilegious by laughing so much. I was very offended -- and that's what we look for in a Fourth Step -- what offends us? What's really funny is all the social justice warring going on because anyone who's offended needs to do a Fourth Step! Because this is God's world, and we are his kids. Don't hurt yourself about doing a Fourth because if you've done a Third then you are safely in His hands. Just for Today. May change tomorrow, but for this 24 hours we get to treat ourselves as well as we would treat our own children if we were God. Just do that today. You have been commanded by your new online sponsor!
@@HistoryAnonymous
WOW!!!! THANKS AGAIN.
I would love to friend you so I can talk more with you....is that ok??
Sorry if I'm bothering
@@andylopez3763 I ignored your request because I didn't know how to respond, but now that I've prayed about it, it seems I should just tell the truth. One AA lady said that in her drinking days, she would make all kinds of excuses about why she couldn't keep appointments. Now that's she sober, she just tells the truth -- she's a procrastinator. My immediate reaction to your friend request was the correct one -- even though I blew that off and thought I should explain to you that I'm 61 years old and don't have a smartphone and I don't have a clue what "friending" is, but the truth is that my primary reaction to your friending request was to tell you the real truth -- that we may not look to other people for help with AA. It doesn't matter that worldly people think we do -- that this is a "support group" thing, but the truth is that we are end-of-the-road, bottom-of-the-barrel gutter-snipe worthless damn drunks, and that we don't get any better, we just get God. We remain powerless -- it never changes. Can you ever forget how well whiskey works for you? Can you ever forget how well those first weed-smoking days were, sitting around with your blood brothers pursuing the smoke? And now we've had our card punched and the using has betrayed us -- sent us to hell and back, over and over, and now we need this Program more than we need air. So how do we do this? Is there anyone out there that can help us? Sadly, no, dear, there's not an AA on the planet who can help. The answer always lies within -- with personal prayer to God-as-we-understand-Him so that we may grow in understanding and effectiveness -- understanding of God and effectiveness in carrying the message to the alcoholic who still suffers. It's not about finding people in AA to answer our questions, but finding new people to tell how the program works. Get to a meeting and find a new guy and tell them how it worked for you thus far. Do it. Do it now. Do it every time you have the slightest doubt about anything. Just put everything aside -- family, work, money, health, friends, whatever -- just drop everything you're doing and get to a meeting and look for a new guy. It's the only thing that works. Nothing else works. The chapter says, "Into Action" not "Into Thinking." Ask God for signs -- we're allowed to ask for signs and He will show you until you feel so insane that you ask Him to stop with the signs. The Book says He will reveal Himself, and that's what it means. So write back to me when you've discovered the newcomer secret thing. But I hope you're so busy answering their questions and telling them how to get to God that I will be far in your rearview mirror. Oh, objects in mirror are closer than they appear! Talking to newcomers is better than the best drink or pill you ever took, I promise. Or snort or toke or bet or lay or pop or hit or whatever your drug of choice, doesn't matter. The solution is the same. The craving is the same. The powerlessness is the same, and the only way to become best friends with the Power is so serve His new people, his brand-new kids. That's why we still breathe air. It's really fun when they call you "sir" and "ma'am" because they have no idea where you came from before getting into AA.
I am not the Power -- I am just a drunk with a desire to stay sober today, just like you. If we're not done drinking, we will drink again without doing today what He would have us do, and that is to carry the message to the new guy. Thanks for carrying the message to me, young man, and now go get the next new person. The people in the Book did it when they were three days sober. You'll see. It's miraculous. Just do it. Don't think about it. Just remember that you were ordered to do so by your online sponsor Pam. Get at it. Get at it right now, even if it's just praying for the alcoholic who stills suffers. Learn to love them because we are God's favorites. Our stubbornness, our rebelliousness, the fervor with which we pursued our drug of choice, and now we get to pour ourselves into the Program just the same. What lengths were we willing to go to to get high? That's what God likes -- our fearlessness, our resilience. What He likes least is our wanting people to help us instead of getting a personal relationship with Him. Got it? Go do it, dear.
@@HistoryAnonymous
Wow that went South quick!!!
Ok...I'm 58 years old and an opioid user...I'm attending every AA, NA, and celebrate recovery meeting I can go to. I was told to get as many numbers as I could have just to talk with. I'm not looking for answers Pam, geezzz I just thought you were a cool girl I could talk to.
I'm not hitting on you dear...just asking for your ear. Bye.
I really like your style of teaching here. I wish you would do an entire how to series of the steps in the same short and to the point manner
In the old days they used to say we were "on the beam" and you are definitely ON THE BEAM. Took your comment today as a direct message from God. Call me crazy, but that's what I think. My best thinking got me to AA, but the Book says we will come to rely on the occasional hunch or inspiration, and I've found that to be true. Every time I think I'm getting "well" or getting "normal" something happens to remind me that I'm really a drunk and that I only enjoy the feeling of safety I get from being around other AAs in meetings -- that these people are special in an obnoxious kind of way, and that they are like me --- even if they don't like me! That the way I am is sort of the direct result of my drinking and drugging. I learned to be a little over the top about life, and so only a relationship with a Higher Power who is fun, smart, fun-loving, amazing, and over-the-top Himself can make me feel humble and grateful. That God likes drunks for our stubbornness, our high expectations and our sense of humor. So thanks for sharing, and I'm working on a project for this Fall of making 30 videos for a thirty-meetings-in-thirty days rip-roaring ride through history according to drugs and alcohol. Been working on it since I got sober and am very serious about it. So hit the subscription button and the series will appear before Christmas. Should be pretty amazing. It will be my Christmas present to God. Feel safe, dear, because this Program really works. And keep coming back, no matter what.
Your personal inventory is morally bankrupt.
This is NO Bueno. Maybe as a starting point. But we should clearly follow the book. This is not following the book
thank u for this video...im new to sober living....i got about 45days...im just noiw on my 4th step.....i dont hav a sponsor cuz in my situation i cant get to meetings.....iv been doing my NA online and youtube.....so far its working but i feel i really need help n a sponsor ffrom this point on.....those sheets u made up for the 4th step are awesome....they seem like they would make it easy for someone like me....can u possably show me how to make some for me....can u possably be a sponsor to me
They used to tell me there was no chance I could stay sober, and it made me so angry that I stayed sober to spite them and it worked. So anger got me through the First Step, and then something happened that made me realize that God was real and knew everyone's name -- and I went to my friend's house and told him to get out the whiskey and I toasted God with five shots but I don't remember past the third one, then was alcohol poisoned for three days and it wiped out my memory about the God thing so my story sucks, but that's how I got sober. Once when I was trying to get sober, there were so many people smoking weed in that meeting that I thought it was okay to smoke it, but the Devil would keep showing up with just a little tiny bit of dope, and he would never have any when I ran out, so I threw my stash in a dumpster and went back to my rented room and wept for an hour and begged God to never make me throw good marijuana away again, and so far God has granted that prayer. I found out by listening to speakers on XA at www.xa-speakers.org/ how to do this 4th Step, and also found out that the only way this program works is when we try to tell new people how to do it, and you're "old" if you've got three days. That's what the meetings are for -- to find new people, but if you want to find people to help you like a sponsor or "help" that people might have, you're in a lot of trouble because nobody can help you if you're a real drunk. Let me know if that means anything to you, eh? Just reply to this comment.
This may be the most watered down inventory I’ve ever seen...
Tell me more -- why watered down? I didn't know that anger can be small -- it seems so powerful and killer bad, especially over small things that eat our lunch all day long. You know the part of the Bible that says if we go to sleep with anger in our heart, we are in danger of hellfire? Yeah, like that. That my resentment makes me more guilty than the worst criminal on the planet. Yeah, the petty little crap that gets me to the bar, throwing down my dollar as I tell everyone how badly I need a drink. Yeah, like that. Thanks for sharing!
Someone can do this step more than once, and maybe this is a great way to get started for someone who is hesitant to try it.
That lady is crazy as heck lol
Wrong in first 5 seconds, “quick and easy” is quite the opposite of fearless and searching
Thanks for making me laugh! It actually took me over 20 years to do this -- I didn't know how before because I couldn't remember anything bad I'd done because I was drunk when I did it. Sort of like growing up Catholic, we made up sins to tell the priest, things like "I fought with my brothers and sisters and I used bad language" because kids (like drunks) are innocent and don't think they've done anything wrong. Child molesters are like that, too, they think they're doing the kids a favor teaching them about sex instead of their having to learn it from strangers, like had happened to them. All the child molesters say the same thing -- that the outside world just doesn't understand that they're doing the kids a favor. So on everybody's long list should be the confession that they've been playing God (p. 62) by judging child molesters as evil, right? Hey, I got this format from that guy from Texas with an eyepatch? Do you know who that is? Is it breaking anonymity to say his name, even though he's on the speaker circuit? Anyway, thanks for sharing.
The Four horseman, in that book your holding is. Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair.
Tell me this isn't really weird -- it's the same four things in the Steps, but without the drugs and alcohol they become our friends, the things we search for in order to get closer to God. Really weird, I think -- so check this out:
One -- Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate.
Four -- Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened?
Ten -- Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear.
Eleven -- When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid?
TERROR - fear, frightened, fear, afraid
BEWILDERMENT - self-delusion, dishonest, dishonesty, dishonest
FRUSTRATION - self-seeking, self-seeking, resentment, resentful
DESPAIR - self-pity, selfish, selfishness, selfish
How do you go from the four horsemen selfish, dishonest self seeking and frightened to Can I live with this for 24 hours?
I assumed the book wants us to list how we were one or more or those and I don't see where she got can I live with the situation another 24 hours.
Can anyone/Pamela illuminate?
Thank you.
What a great question! Nobody ever bothered to ask me before. The question in the book is, "Where were we to blame?" They want me to see my faults, and because SELF itself is what's to blame, the question may be, "Why was I involved in the matter in the first place?" Was I seeking a next drink or drug? Well, yes, usually. That was Step One. So now in Step Four, the question is, "Am I living one day at a time now? Have I done a Third Step? Can I stand surrendering to HP just these 24 hours, or am I still thinking there is something important about ME and MY interpretation of past events, that somehow it matters about ME and MY grudges and injuries?" Get the picture here? So the Four Horsemen are in Step One with "fear, self-delusion, self-seeking and self-pity," with Step Four as "selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened," with Step Ten as "selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear," and again in Step Eleven as "resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid." So it's the same 'faults' this paragraph on p.67 asks us to list, those same Hideous Four Horsemen in Chapter 11, made hideous under the influence when we were toxic, yet becoming a spiritual signpost and blessing in sobriety. So thanks for the reminder that just for today, I will look for these four Step Four things, and when they crop up, I get to remember to ask God to remove them, not force myself to behave in a manner I have assumed is more appropriate, such as becoming more "modest and self-sacrificing" on p. 61. Thanks, because I really needed the reminder right at this precise moment, having had a long, cold day struggling with something I should have left alone yesterday. You are a gift from HP to me right now, and because of you I'm now going to let God remove my self-oriented brain-spinning problem solving that I've been at all day (fixing my roommates brakes) and enjoy the rest of this evening. Hope you are equally blessed. Thanks for sharing.
Pamela Pratt you are very good at explaining all this, I think you are before your time so some people dont get it but I find your videos very good ,thank you so much for making this effort to help others I wish I could attend your meetings
Your cool thanks for the info praise God God is Good
Today I'm really glad that we get better slowly but surely, just a little bit better every day, and we never go backward. It's always a little better each day, steady and certain. They told me that another word for serenity is certainty. It's calm and sane and safe and sure -- the exact opposite of the chaos and misery of those last days. That sounds Biblical, doesn't it? Last days? Hey, the last chapter does describe the Hideous Four Horsemen, and those are the same four things on our list --- fear, resentment, self-seeking and self-pity, those horsemen of the Apocalypse now tamed because we're sober. They're in the 1st, 4th, 10th, and 12th Steps -- so it's simple and easy. I didn't do a Fourth Step for years because I couldn't figure out my "sins" because I was drunk and couldn't remember what I did. I went to confession in the Catholic church (I was raised Catholic) and the priest told me to go back to AA and give of myself to those people. So I did, and it's a wonderful way of life. I talk about A.A. to everyone I meet everywhere, and the nice side effect is that people tend to leave me alone! So I enjoy a whole lot of peace and quiet. Thanks for sharing, and pass it on, dear.
Thanks. Like your simple method. So easy to do daily.
Wanna see something really cool? There are four things we're supposed to watch for, and they all repeat in four of the Steps.
THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE: FROM A VISION FOR YOU
on Page 151:
Momentarily we did -- then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen - Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand!
STEP ONE Page 62 -- Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate.
STEP FOUR Page 67 -- Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened?
STEP TEN Page 84 -- Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear.
STEP ELEVEN Page 86 -- When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid?
So the hideous Four Horsemen are:
TERROR
(fear, frightened, fear, afraid),
BEWILDERMENT (self-delusion, dishonest, dishonesty, dishonest)
FRUSTRATION (self-seeking, self-seeking, resentment, resentful)
DESPAIR
(self-pity, selfish, selfishness, selfish)
Wow! How simple is that? Hey, Pamela, thanks for sharing!
This seems lazy and sloppy and incorrect
Yep, this works best only for real drunks, not for people who just need some therapy, but it will work for them, too. Real alcoholics are called "deranged men" in the chapter to Employers in the Big Book, and the doctor's opinion paints a pretty bleak picture of us. The trick to making AA work for you is to make it up yourself -- the Program as you understand it. Don't take anybody's word for how this works, just try it yourself, and remember that it's not what you can get out of a meeting, but what you can bring to it. The Program only works when we try to give it away -- to tell somebody else how it works -- and the last page of the Book warns that we can't give away something that we haven't got. I get better at working the Program the more I work it. Thanks for sharing, Deer Heart!
Pamela Pratt thank you Pam. Well put.
Resentment is the number one offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. p. 64, Alcoholics Anonymous
A resentment is a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regardless as a wrong, insult or injury. That is the dictionary definition of the word resentment.
Yeah, my perception is broken because I tend to regard things as injuries which I myself caused, since I placed myself in the position to be hurt. Took me a few years to realize that I got beat up by a drunken boyfriend because I was drinking with him, and I had taken Steps One through Three a few years earlier. I'd forgotten about that, and had decided that I wasn't a real alcoholic, but an Al-Anon who was just trying to help him get sober. I didn't realize that no human being can help us get sober because this is God's world and time is God's time, and He decides when we're done. No matter that we think we're done. We're not done until God thinks we're done. For me, that was awhile after I knew I was done. Yow! It had taken me a few more years to get done after taking a serious beating from the man I loved so much that I was willing to drink with him, to try to teach him how to drink like a gentleman. So thanks for reminding me of that self-injury. We sure do make God laugh, eh? It's so wonderful that God's prime attribute is mercy. Oh, jeez, I think I drank and drugged to try to feel that "whew" of mercy. Mercy, how wonderful, and how frustrating when we want mercy according to our timing, not His. Hey, thanks for sharing!
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. A desire is a strong conscious impulse, to have, be or do something. My sobriety depends on whether I have a desire to stay sober. I guard my desire to stay sober with my life. I pray that I never lose the desire to stay sober. If I do, God forbid, all bets are off. Then it's back to the races. Thank God, it's not like that today.
Stay sober and keep up the good work. You've helped me to get another day sober. For that I am grateful. In the end, that's part of what it's all about. One alcoholic working with another. God bless you and keep trudging the road to happy destiny! Ty for posting this video.
@@revolutionaryprepper4076 It took me a whole lot of years to figure out the secret of AA -- which is in the final chapter of the Book, "A Vision For You." That always made me laugh -- and people who never did drugs didn't see the humor -- but it's really true, that this Program only works when we try to pass it on to the new guy. New people always scared me, and I was so worried that I wouldn't say the "right thing" that could make them want to be sober. But it wasn't anything that anyone said to me that unlocked the door, it was their anger and their righteousness and how much they were laughing -- which really made me mad for a long time, because I didn't see anything worth laughing about. It was their tone, and not their words. Their attitude, not their "wisdom." I made this video because I finally discovered that a Fourth Step is not about me -- it's about God. The Steps have a number in front of them for a reason, and after Step Three, we can "relax and take it easy" (p. 86), because the Fourth Step takes us out of ourselves and puts us in someone else's shoes. A Ninth Step is just the Fourth Step, but what we owe them, and God calls that shot, in His time and with His resources. After Step Three, I get to give up my magic magnifying mind and just do the simple, easy things He puts in front of me today. It's sad that I worked this thing so hard for so long, and I was relentless because I was so scared about ever wanting to drink/drug again. Hey, still scared, but now I know the secret -- it's working with others, taking every opportunity to carry the message. At the post office, the grocery store, to the UPS guy, and of course to all my neighbors (who politely leave me in peace now so I won't ask about their drinking, hah, hah!) The Big Book writers knew this secret, so the final chapters are all about working with others and carrying the message. Because it's so much fun, and it makes us bulletproof. See you in the Great Meeting in Sky sometime, dear, and thanks again for sharing.
What the hell you mean easy? This is the hardest thing Ive done in my life.
Short version: when I sit at the bar and whine, what am I complaining about? Just write down three or four things and answer the four questions. First question, does this have to do with "spiritual sickness?" What does that mean? It is whatever is blocking me from the Sunlight of the Spirit. You know, that "state of mind" we try to get to with booze and drugs (gambling, shopping, looking for love) -- but never quite get there. If we do achieve that perfect chemical/environmental state of bliss, it doesn't last very long, wearing off sometime in the wee hours of the morning and golly geez, oh whew. So now sober, we have to get more thrilled and grateful than our best day drinking -- so try a short list and find that new pair of glasses where we see other people and ourselves are "spiritually sick" -- simply that we don't know what the hell God is up to today. The book says that if we ask Him, He will show us, so try a short list and do the EASY first paragraph on page 76 where "willingness" is the key. Whenever I pray for willingness, it says that it always will be there -- always. A promise! Then 95 percent of the time I don't have to actually do the thing I got willing to do -- EASY. So I'm never fighting with anyone or anything, even if they are stupid foolish spiritually-sick idiots. Even if they deserve opprobrium, I love them now as God's kids. I have a great day all the time now. It's weird but I've gotten used to it. Thanks for reminding me what it used to be like. It's so easy now to forget. A miracle, really, cuz I'm a stubborn, whiny, unpleasant camper who is really hard to please. I needed drugs and alcohol to face the world. Needed it. More than just medicine. Really, they got me through a lot of bad years and were my best friends for a long while, but then the boomerang hit and I had to part ways with my favorite god-makers. I still love them, and that will never change (and I don't trust anyone who doesn't), but since the Big Book rocketed me into a Fourth Dimension that I never dreamed possible, there's really no going back. It's a hoot -- so join us, and let me know if you need any more suggestions, eh?
Do a CZcams search on step four bbss if you want the truth.
Sure, okay. Thanks for sharing.
love your in-site but your "list" isn't like the Big Book and That should tell you something. Remember that Half Measures availed them nothing...... God bless the AA fellowship and them drunks that show us the way.
I've been baffled by the list in the Big Book for a long, long time until I heard this version from an online speaker recording. Having just returned from a meeting, I'd like to ask you a question. What do you say to people who get up in your face in meetings saying that God is just your "higher self," and that God doesn't control anything? This came from an Al-Anon spouse who also says that Jesus is not the Messiah, and will interrupt me when I'm sharing with a declaration that marijuana is not addictive, and that she enjoys using it. When I tell her that my "higher self" only knows how to sit on a barstool tossing back shots, her response is worse! So I put her on my list, admit that it's spiritual sickness, pray for her and know that I can read the Big Book during her time to share, and remember how grateful I am to be sober, then leave it in God's capable hands (she just put her house up for sale and is moving to Texas). Outsit them. Right. Thanks for sharing.
save jesus for church only christians believe jesus is the messiah leave religion out of aa
You are quite right to leave religion out of AA, and if you can leave God out of AA and do this some other way, our hats are off to you! For real alcoholics like me, God removed the obsession (every one of them) thirty years ago, and none have them have ever returned, except for once when I had the flu and the thought crossed my mind, "At this point, whiskey would help." But it was just a thought that I could laugh at, not at all the old obsession. And once I was freezing in the snow and thought again about whiskey helping, but again it was just a thought, not the old desperate need for a drink or drug. What did Bill W. say about Jesus? "To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him." Big Book, p. 11. And the clear-cut directions about God are, "But He has come to all who have honestly sought Him. When we drew near to Him He disclosed Himself to us!" p. 57. Funny how unhappy we have to get to finally get honest about our own limitations, and to try a personal relationship with God. It was a hard lesson for me to learn that I can't trust my own brain, but that God can guide and inspire me if I get willing, even though most times I have to remember to pray for the willingness. We are not saints. I swear that on a daily basis for thirty years I have not become any more powerful than on my first day sober. What a joy it is to remind myself today as I type this to you, dear. Thanks for sharing.
Matthew Calderwood apparently y'all are Muslims for telling her she isn't following the book
Pamela Pratt Great, so now More Crazy is coming to Texas.... Well hopefully she doesn't go to a big city.... Hopefully she goes to a small rural area where old timers don't put up with that kind of nonsense.... Also. Why the fuck is she allowed to cross talk you ? The chair person should put a stop to that, take this to your meetings group conscience. Good luck. And btw ur comment about a higher self was selfish and disparaging. Why didn't u try to understand, instead of trying so hard to be understood by a crazy woman.... Are you crazy too ? It's ok if you are, I am
Great
Funny this is done over a bathtub, maybe it has a hidden meaning of getting cleaned up! LOL
Such a great comment -- you made me laugh! May you never have to drink or drug again! Oh, once a swear word came out of my mouth, and God scrubbed it out. Amazing!
@@HistoryAnonymous Cheers!...oops water bottle!
This is kooky..how long are you sober? Lol
Hey, it blows me away how long it took for me to hear this method of doing a Fourth Step. The Big Book writers were worried that religious ideas would interfere with the message, and I found that too be true -- that we look for "sins" instead of "blockages" between us and God. I also read in the literature that Bill used the words "character defects" and "wrongs" and "shortcomings" because he didn't want to bore us by using the same words. So the list is supposed to be anything that blocks us from the Sunlight of the Spirit, and that includes not being willing to accept that God understands our hearts and minds, and that the wrongs we've done have now become useful in carrying the message to new people, so these days I have begun putting myself at the top of the list for failing to remember how much God likes us. Hard to believe, eh? That Jesus has been sitting right beside us as we shot up or passed the bottle around. The Big Book asks about anger first, because that seems to be our default emotion -- blaming others -- and then they ask about fear, which is also something we suffer when trying to protect ourselves, but perfect Love casts out all fear, right? So why is it so hard for drunks to trust God? And why do people argue about Jesus when Bill W. called Him "the Master?" Are we mad at God for having failed us so often in our drinking days? I swear that God gave me a whole lot of good dope back then, but it was never enough, was it? Oh, so to answer your question, I haven't been sober long enough. How 'bout you?
Thank you so much
Blessings
The principle seems sound, along with Biblical exhortation, but seems designed for people with a very hardened conscience. Just sayin. Holy Spirit checks my spirit daily, no list required. My Mom was AA 30 years plus and never apologized for childhood abuse, but I forgave and still love. Still leaning on the grace of Jesus.
My father died last January, and I woke up this morning having to listen to my carnal brain chew on possible things I could have said or done to soften his heart. They don't apologize because they can't see that they've done anything wrong. They have "reasons." What I've learned from the AA Big Book is that it's not about what other people have done, but my reaction to them. So if God has shown mercy to me, then who am I to not allow others to be human (stupid)? They ask in the meetings, "How free do you want to be?" It's the Matthew 18:21 parable of the ungrateful servant. Thanks again for sharing.
You sound scary 😂😂😂
What is more frightening than having to stay sober? No pills, no pops, no tokes,
no hits, no toots, no snorts, and no vacations!
Pamela Pratt lol I meant you sound scary, in a good way. I'm 6 months sober and I wouldn't have it any other way! 🦋
You're so sweet! Young people and their language! I'm 60 years old, and will have 31 years in three months, which is so astonishing to me because all we have is today, and I'm so damn grateful to be sober today. That feeling never goes away. Every day is so great because I'm sober, and sober I can do anything. Anything. Except take a drink or a drug! Thanks for sharing.
Take your time on your 4th step. This is not a race. Muslims are welcome in AA. Everyone is welcome to AA. I've been in AA for 8 months, and I'm still working and praying on my 4th step. Don't let anyone tell you that you are doing AA wrong. Follow the big book, pray to the God OF YOUR UNDERSTANDING, talk to your sponsor, and don't let anyone discourage you. There is no perfect AA member, it is a program of progress, not perfection.
The only requirement for AA is a desire to stop drinking
Well said, dear! My resentment was about getting attacked by muslims -- and I was feeling superior to the guy on my list because I keep my comment section open and he turns off his comments because he didn't want to have to talk to them. I tried for a long time to talk to them, but gave up and now I just give them the link to Matthew chapter one because that works for them. None of the muslims I ever blogged with had a drinking or drug problem. Yes, other problems relating to alcoholism but that's God's job, not mine. I am not a doctor, and am not in the business of deciding how to fix other people and their (religious) addictions. That's what Al-Anon is for. After you're sober one year, we're supposed to go to 6 Al-Anon meetings to learn to get along with other AAs. We learn to recognize addicts by their destructive behavior, and we give them the medicine and close the door. We don't argue with them because they are sick people, not bad people. The Big Book says that some newcomers know more about religion than we do, and so we can just tell them how we got sober and let it go at that. The guy I was complaining about was not in AA, which reminds me how lucky we are to have AA because it has a solution for every possible problem, so we don't have to suffer anymore at all. We're done suffering. Done. Now when we struggle it's just a reason to get to a meeting, where we WILL hear what we need to hear, and then we get to laugh at lot at ourselves. What a joy that is! I don't remember laughing at all in my last days of drinking, and that it hurt to smile when I first got sober. Took awhile to get used to smiling. About the hurrying -- it's all in God's time now. I didn't do a decent Fourth Step for a lot of years because I didn't know how. But that's okay. We learn when God reveals things to us, and He caters everyone's recovery specifically for each person. I learned a lot of things in my first year that some people don't get for decades, and it took me decades to learn some things that other people got in their first year. You seem to be right on the beam. Thanks for sharing.
We're all sinners in fact, or unless God is a liar, and why else did Jesus have to go to the cross????
Have you noticed that all the good newcomers are on fire for Jesus? Have you ever seen the oldtimers tell them to tone it down because it will scare new people away? As much as I hated not preaching Jesus at first, my sponsor told me it was good practice to learn how to take orders, how to humble myself and practice getting rid of self. Just like when they tell you to go apologize to someone for something you didn't do, just for practice, and even if they spurn your apology, so I did it even though It was really hard but I wanted to stay sober more than I wanted to think highly of myself. (Tears in my eyes as I type this). I've learned now to pray right before I do anything to make sure it's God doing the talking. And apologizing just for practice works -- the fear and loathing I had vanishes immediately. Better than drugs! That's why we did drugs and alcohol, right? To feel better? To enjoy ourselves a little? Anyway, we get a lot of time to figure out how AA works, and we all come to the same conclusion -- that this is God's world and we are just here to help people get sober, which means we can't do AA until we've gotten enough to drink, right? It's not up to us when we get to stay sober, but God decides at what time we're done. Hey, I love Jesus more than anyone (pride, eh?) but people don't hear it when we say it, and the Big Book says that God will reveal Himself when we draw near to Him, not we someone else think we should. If you haven't yet tried to get someone sober against their will, it's a wonder to behold. Humans are so stubborn and stiffnecked -- which is why the devil hates us, and why we are so in need of God's love and mercy, right? Another great trick is the willingness prayer -- that if I ask to be willing to do something the willingness always comes, and then 95 percent of the time I don't have to actually do the thing I got willing to do, but this way I'm never fighting anything or anyone, and I'm never unhappy. That's so weird never being unhappy -- I used to drink and drug to get happy, and today I don't have to do that. Pinching myself, but it's worked now for 35 years and it's still as fresh as yesterday when I brought my Bible into the Fellowship Hall and started a war with the Treasurer who was a satanist who was getting people sober by doing miracles for them, and he had a lot of sober-for-now sponsees, and God won in the end but it was quite a fight that has kept me sober so far all this time. Hey, thanks for sharing.
@@HistoryAnonymous It doesn't take long to find out how AA works, it's plainly described in the big book. I learn how I work in AA one day at a time and God reveals my place in AA one day at a time. I've learned that I don't have to DO anything but follow God. When someone gets sober is between them and God, I help when I'm called, otherwise I pray and stay in position. Peace and serenity is yours sister.
Pam, you're awesome.
My favorite AA trick is in the video about brainwashing - it works like a miracle. Our brains are so mysterious! In my drinking days, there were so many times when reality broke through and knocked me down hard, but I could take a drink or a drug and get on with my day. Now sober it hits so much harder -- and it bugs me that I am so hard to reach that it took many years to learn the trick in the brainwashing video -- which is just a Seventh Step, really. All the Steps after 3 are just learning to see that God is real, personal and predictable, and the steps after the third just introduce us to a Higher Order that needs us as foot soldiers. After Step Three, the program works us -- we don't work it. We can try all we want, but all the amends are God's business, not ours. For years, AA was something I did in my spare time, and now it's the air I breathe because it's the only thing that makes any sense. It's about sick people and God's mercy -- mostly because they don't know they're sick, and we don't see their sickness most of the time, either! They hide it so well. I know I did. I broke myself every minute of every day trying to bandage my disease that just kept getting worse until I was smoking dope with Satan himself, and telling myself that I could handle it. Not. How hard it is to give up the chemicals that are making it possible to stay alive is something only real alcoholics know. Normies think it's a choice, but I really had no choice and I just couldn't keep the ball rolling anymore. Yes, I chose to throw my last stash away and wept like a banshee about it, and begged God never to put me in the position to have to do that again, and so far, so good. Yet every day still I pinch myself in astonishment that I don't need to get high anymore. And I'm willing to do anything to keep it this way, and the brainwashing video really helps, which not just PTSD from drinking, it's also PTSD from being a child. A helpless child -- think of that. As much as I look down on psychologists, there's something to that, but no human beings can help me -- this thing is between us and God, right? I've heard that God works through people, but not in my experience. Maybe a little sideways, sometimes, like learning AA tricks, but it's usually by prayer, right? A direct conscious contact made by talking to the Diety as though He and His troops are lonely and enjoy us talking to them. As though they like hearing from us, as though they want to be friends. Now whenever something "bad" happens, it's always because God it doing something about someone else's alcoholism -- my neighbor, my boss, my family, etc. My personal belief is that I think Hunter Biden is going to get sober and help save the world. Wouldn't that set a few good Christians back? And a lot of them would be thrilled, because they already know the way God works -- directly through broken people who once thought the devil was an acceptable drinking companion, eh? I think God's angels (whatever) enjoy watching us learn our place in the spiritual world -- it makes them happy -- and our purpose is now to enhance and further the victory of A.A. over the forces of darkness. Jeez, got me going again. The longer I stay sober, the more enthusiastic for AA I get. Thanks for the opportunity to share. Tears are in my eyes. See you around tables!
The book says rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed the path. This 4th Step is not thorough, leaves out the sex conduct among other things. Sad.
Thanks for sharing.
He turned the water into wine christ our lord first miracle on his own earth good enough for christ god only higher power good enough for me sod bill w and his brain washing heathen cult amen
Not close to the actual bb directions
How do you see it? Thanks for sharing.
Wht ahe was reading out of the book is correct.
Everyting else about the step is like doing a worksheet in a drug rehab.
NO LIST O YOIR PART. No fear inventory.and MOST imporyant.not one word about the nect page rcplaing how tp do a sex inventory. I will sayit like it is and the book says so. This is not AA or how a real alcoholic should do a 4th step from the bigbook
Thank you for sharing!
That's not how you do it look at where it says causes and conditions
Okay, so what caused me to be angered or injured? The Book says I placed myself in the position to be hurt, so it was MY fault that I got punched in the face by my drunken boyfriend with whom I was drinking, right? And when I got mad at the police for refusing to arrest him, it was MY fault that I got mad at them because instead of taking care of MY drinking problem by going back to the meetings, I falsely blamed the police for causing me to be angry, right? So the book says it is selfishness and self-centeredness that causes me to be separated from the Grace of God, right? And separation from God is my problem, right? If I were walking hand in hand down the Broad Highway with my Creator, I wouldn't need to excuse myself to go get a beer, right? So after doing my Fourth Step and just before we move on to Steps 5, 6 and 7 there are two paragraphs that tell us how to solve OUR problems and that is to rely on God, right? But we're not through because we need to do Step Nine, and halfway through 9 the Promises will come through, guarandamnteed. In Step Nine is where we really see the Hand of God at work. Not in any of the others. Nine is the big one. It's where we really learn how limited SELF is and how amazing and fun God is. If you're not there yet, get there as fast as you can. Don't worry about knowing to whom you owe amends. Don't even think about it because the Book says that God will let us know, and He actually makes us laugh really hard and long when we discover how our small brains put us in such impossibly dangerous situations just to try to feel a little better with a small dose of relief we paid such precious cold hard cash for. Oh, have mercy, we tried so hard to feel better -- to get some little relief and comfort -- and who knew it was just the drugs and alcohol (and whatever) stupid? Known any gamblers? Sometimes they look like drunks, but they're as different as winos are from junkies. Okay, enough already. Get on that 9th Step. It separates the sheep from the goats according to the Twelve By Twelve. It's really funner than you can imagine, and the Fourth Step is just practice for the 8th. Enjoy, dear, and thanks for sharing!
This makes AA look bigoted and bad. You missed the mark here, Pam. :(
Oh, please tell me why? I've gotten a few comments about how to respond when Muslims target you for conversion to Islam, and I'm at a loss to know what the "politically correct" notion of bigotry is these days. In the video I said, "When Muslims target your CZcams channel, just give them a link to the Book of Matthew and they won't bother you again." Or something like that. The guy I was complaining about had disabled his comments because he's a Messianic Jew and got too many comments from islamic terrorists threatening him, and I was, too, because they say terrible things about Christians, and just like the Big Book says, they are unreachable with mere words or reason. People at war with Christians are on the level of sickness, not intentional badness. When Muslims read Matthew, it speaks to them because the Koran has a version of that story that's pretty close to their version, and so they read it. They are told they will go to hell if they read the New Testament, yet more often than not they sneak a peek if you make a link available, because they are beautiful children of God who really do respond to the Spirit. Most of them, anyway. Those suffering from addiction to a religion need a helpng hand, just as we got sober when someone helped us to understand alcoholism. We didn't figure this out by ourselves. It took the Fellowship. The Chapter to Wives says there are a few who are thoroughly bad-intentioned and these we must leave in the hands of the Creator, and so as we carry the message, how would helping Muslims find God be seen as bigoted? Not seeking them out, but when they confront you? That would be like helping an alcoholic stay sick by giving them a hand-out or a welfare check or driving them to the liquor store. But then I wonder about Bill giving Bob that bottle of beer so he could perform surgery, so maybe it's about "when to do so would injure them or others." That we may act if it keeps others from being harmed, right? Bob needed to operate that morning, and the patient would have been harmed if Bob's hands shook too much during the surgery. But doing harm does NOT mean "hurting someone's feelings." In Al-Anon, we learn that if we "take offense" it's because we have "taken" offense. They might have given offence, but we were the ones that took it. We were spiritually sick. We did not turn the other cheek. We did not see them as sick people and offer them medicine. (And then close the door). No, we responded with anger and resentment and criticism, with argument and retaliation, with a political campaign to ostracize and malign and belittle. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If I am offended, the fault is with me, not with the offender. That was the message that Jesus brought to us. That spiritually sick people do not know what they're doing. That the sick are not worthy of punishment, but of our message of God's mercy and healing. Got it? If we shield sick people from their feelings, we are aiding in their destruction. We are being dishonest with them. We are helping to keep them sick, and that makes God mad. Who are you more afraid of, God or man? How is being politically correct anywhere near to being honest? And isn't it all about fear? The Big Book says that I stayed drunk because of fear. And that I need to be honest to stay sober. That means telling the truth about how I feel. When I felt like a victim, I stayed sick. When I stopped being a victim, I got well. Hey, thanks for the opportunity to remember how well I am today! Drunks tend to just look at the faults, don't we? And hey, doesn't it rub you wrong that people trying to be PC are always harping on race and gender? I thought they were supposed to be trying to be neutral about race and gender, yet all they do is point out differences. It's awful, huh? There's something really wrong with political correctness. They are trying to substitute morality for God. The good Jews who called out for Jesus to be crucified thought they were doing the right thing, the Godly moral thing as they saw it. Weird, eh? Look at the example of the Fourth Step list in the Big Book, and it does not have "I am a bigot" or "I am a racist" on the list, does it? The Fourth Step is about grudges and injuries. So now I can add to my list, "people who accuse me of harming AA by giving people in bondage a link to the way out." Well, thanks for that, dear. Jeez, I"m so knee-deep in people grateful for sobriety that I'd forgotten about all the sick Al-Anons out there who really need some wet AAs to remind them what sick people are all about. They're so helpless and pitiful and disgusting. The Book calls them "unlovely" and that's such a nice way of saying it. Bigoted? And who, pray tell, is supposed to take offense? You mean someone might think they can keep drinking and drugging because there might be some bigots in AA? Wow, it doesn't get any sicker than that! And if putting up with a couple of bigots is a problem, how are they going to cope with being fired for refusing to drink at the office Christmas party? (It happened to me!) This program will clean us inside-out, and if you're worried about bigotry I'm wondering what kind of AA you've been taught? Seriously, really? The the nice thing about alcoholism -- it cuts across race and gender and all the rest. Makes us equal. Gives us humility. In the meeting yesterday, someone mentioned the part about being careful not to brand people as alcoholics, and right after that it says that some people know more about religion than we do, and to tell them just how we got sober, but not to engage in religious controversy. The original AAs read out of the Bible at every meeting, so how is referring people to read about God in the Bible being bigoted? I've really missed out on the current socialization of morality these days. Please take a moment to share what I'm missing about what people mean by being "bigoted" these days. Being muslim is not a race, it's a religion. And I made a statement about aggressive proselytizing commenters, which is part of the "attraction rather than promotion" of the Twelfth Tradition, so why do some people see that as bigoted? My guess is that mentioning "islam" is considered bigoted. Am I right? Isn't that kind of weird? I mean, I hear about race and gender all day long over the television, and yet they never talk about religion. Isn't that strange? Sure makes you glad you're not doing drugs, eh? With sobriety, we have a fighting chance. Thanks for sharing, dear. Yeah, I'm over 60 years old and have never had children, so I'm pretty out of touch! Oh, about anonymity at the level of press and films -- which this sort of could be -- how many people do you think will read these comments? Am I breaking the Tradition by posting this video? If I did a live-streaming CZcams video and called it an AA meeting, do you think that would be a bad thing? I sort of do, because there's something that works about sitting in a room full of people, and of having to go to the trouble to get there. I don't think that just sitting at home eating dinner and washing dishes and listening to me rave on about AA would be good for AA or for anybody, do you? Oh yeah, it's what God wants, not what we want, right? After we've done that Third Step prayer, all bets are off. It's God's world, not ours. And his will be done. Sounds muslim, eh? Inshallah? Yep, God is really good today, and so very merciful, although often it's hard to see His hand at work. But rest assured, it's His idea of political correctness, not ours, that will prevail, and it hinges on understanding the difference between "sick" and "bad." In AA, we believe that we cannot fix ourselves (or we would have done it a long time ago). Instead, we let God show people what He can do. Easy peasy. And a hell of lot of fun, once you get the knack of it. Thanks for brightening my morning, dear, and keep coming back.
"how would helping Muslims find God be seen as bigoted?" - I suspect it's not the "helping Muslims find God," so much as the unspoken "believing Muslims need to find God" that comes first.
If somebody is trying to push their religion on you, and you respond by telling them, "read this, so you can convert Christians to Islam," in the hopes that they'll read it and convert to Christianity... well, that seems to me like you're responding in kind, pushing yours on them instead, AND ALSO, that's nobody's business but your own.
I think the place where it gets tripped up by the Traditions is that people can find this while looking for information on AA, and mistakenly think that it's AA as a whole (rather than you personally) that believes Muslims don't have God and need to find God.
It makes it easy for people to think that AA does have an opinion on outside issues.
It also seems to me to conflict with the third tradition. If a Muslim alcoholic was looking for info on AA and those twelve steps, and watched this video, would they walk away from it thinking that they were welcome at an AA meeting? Or might it accidentally mislead them into thinking that it was really for Christian alcoholics?
If they scrolled down to the comments to get more clarity on that question, would they have a clear idea of the program of recovery, of the part of it covered here? Or might they think that maybe, before they even got to that fourth step, they'd be expected to turn their will and their lives over, "find God" through converting to Christianity? Would they be clear that they weren't required to convert, but leave with the fear that other AAs would look down on them for being Muslim, and think they were fanatics, terrorists, et cetera?
It worries me because I've known an awful lot of people who were afraid to try AA, or to try twelve-step fellowships in general, because they had been abused by their pastor, or their priest, or by family members who (additionally) tried to force them to believe in God the "right" way.
It's sadly very common for people to see "God" in the readings, and think it specifically means "Christianity," and to think that they're going to be judged as "needing to find God." Not "God as we understood Him," but some very specific concept of God.
I've known too many people who thought 12-step was a cult. I even had one person tell me they'd thought that working that third step would mean they had to "accept Jesus as their savior."
As for "political correctness".... it is hard when people call something bigotry or hateful or bad. It's hard not to take it as a personal attack. Our egos are threatened by it :D
I've found that the "correctness" part is the key.
If someone seems to be calling me "politically incorrect," well, their "attack" or my reaction, or both, may be a mess, because political issues affect our lives deeply, and that comes with charged feelings.
But when I come to look at the matter, it's a kind of fact-checking. It generally means I've said something that's incorrect, that has to do with charged political issues.
Not always; sometimes the other person has older information, or has got their facts wrong somehow. But often. And it does always mean that they THINK I've gotten the facts wrong.
When I look at it this way, it's easier to swallow. I tend to like being right, after all. So I want to know when I've got my facts wrong, even if they also happen to think that makes me a jerk. A quick Googling is usually sufficient to research the matter.
For example, I googled "are Muslims told they'll go to hell if they read the new testament." But I didn't see anything useful. So I tried "are Muslims allowed to read the new testament."
I learned that actually, the Qu'ran is pretty emphatic that they SHOULD read the old and new testaments:
"And We caused Jesus, son of Mary, to follow in their footsteps, confirming that which was (revealed) before him in the Torah, and We bestowed on him the Gospel wherein is guidance and a light, confirming that which was (revealed) before it in the Torah - a guidance and an admonition unto those who ward off (evil)" (Sura 5:46).
"It is He Who sent down to thee (step by step), in truth, the Book, confirming what went before it; and He sent down the Law (of Moses) and the Gospel (of Jesus) before this, as a guide to mankind, and He sent down the criterion (of judgment between right and wrong)" (Sura 3:3).
And that it makes sense that they'd have a version of Matthew, because they have a ton about Jesus in there; evidently, a lot of the New Testament is in there.
The quick and easy way to do step 4: "REALIZE THAT THERE IS NO WAY TO DO STEP 4 QUICK AND EASY."
Thanks for the reminder to do a Fourth Step today! It's supposed to be a Tenth Step on page 84 and 85, which is actually more fun, but because I'm also an Al-Anon and an ACA, I need to be reminded in the FOURTH that it's not that other people are BAD, but that they're SICK -- and every time I get the flu or get hurt physically, it's a reminder of how painful and awful and powerful sickness is. My first sponsor told me to "baby yourself" and that idea is in the Book somewhere -- that we are supposed to stop being so hard on ourselves -- that we need to treat ourselves at least as well as we treat other people who are sick. Jeez. Thanks for sharing.
jumpkeys “put our fingers on big chunks of truth” “made a list of our grosser handicaps” we don’t have to write a book. Shouldn’t take longer than a week
This video makes me want to take a drink.
Yeah, I was just on Twitter and there was a huge advertisement for Trump wine that my eyeballs fell in love with. Thanks for sharing.
Does all AA members have to believe only in one God creator of the universe, because if this is the only way to accomplish the 12 steps, what do you tell to the Buddhist who does not believe in a one God creator of the universe or any other belief who does not believe in a creator God of the universe?
What a great question! AA says, "God as you understand Him" so it can be whatever conception you have to "make a beginning," and then as we "draw close to Him" then He "reveals Himself to us." That way, it's a "spiritual experience" instead of crap I make up in my head -- it's action and living and stuff that happens, not a mental exercise or mere book knowledge, because they say that drunks need to be shown, not preached to. Whatever works for you, and then if it stops working, you can come to the meetings and listen to other people's ideas about how to draw nearer to God. He's a gentleman, you know, and doesn't go where He's not invited. They. Them. His workers, perhaps. Angels. Oh, even devils work for Him, right? So how many times did I tell God, "Well, you better stop me because I'm on the way to the liquor store and I can't stop myself." But He let me go because He's "the Great Allower." I remember that so clearly, that it's like a switch got flipped and there was no way I could stop myself from driving to the drug house. It was weird that I had absolutely no control over that, and they describe it really well in the Big Book -- but unless people experience it, they really don't know what it's like. Nice caring people imagine that we can be distracted or talked out of it, and yeah, we can sit in a jail cell for a week or six months, but as soon as they let us out, it's back to the bar -- and that first glorious half hour of pounding down draws is indescribably wonderful, eh? Okay, so talking about this is the funnest thing there is -- nobody but sober drunks enjoy talking about How It Works as much as we do! The nice caring therapists look at their watches and say, "Time's up. See you next week," but us real drunks can stay up all night long telling stories and laughing uproariously about it. We are alike in that we know how to have a good time, and just a little bit of fun just isn't enough. Hey, got any more good questions? Thanks for sharing!
@@HistoryAnonymous Thank you for answering me and so quickly, I at the beginning I believed in God and I asked him all kinds of things that God gave me or not and I waited with my disproportionate ego and that frustrated me. Because I heard all kinds of people say, I had a car, a beautiful apartment, a washing machine and I met a wonderful woman ...
Then I started to study, the 3 big monotheistic religions. The majority of India's religions and all kinds of beliefs, as well as the book Philosophy for Dummies and Mythology. Even went to see what they say, people who believe in the Devil or the Saddhus Aghoris and Atheist.
And finally I put my choice on a belief, which tells me to get rid of my ego and that's the one I chose. Even that I have met monks of this belief and who told me to continue to respect the religion of my parents, because the message of Jesus is very good: Like "to love each other", "not to throwing stone if you have fished "... And I said to myself it's incredible, that they do not want to hold me back in their belief and I continue to go to this place, which took 2 hours by car and I took the opportunity to take people on board through a transport service, to which people were going to the same city as me and they gave me a little money to pay for gasoline.
But both of my parents were already dead, so I started practicing this new belief and I said to God: listen, do what you want with me, but I prefer to make sure to continue with this new belief that put more into action, which I see as a Diamond without a scratch, even though people of that belief can do wrong, because they have strayed from the path. And if I go to a religious service of my large family for a baptism, a wedding ... I do like them with respect.
For me it's my mental distortions the problem, it's how I think. like the flashes that arrive at the speed of light in my head, giving me back the anger, pain, shame, fear or negative pleasure of a past event or of excessive desire, this is the reason that made me choose this belief.
At the moment I often recite this to get rid of the anger or those other unreasonable negative emotions, without anyone giving it to me or telling me to recite this several times, sometimes for an hour of time: "I prefer to love all that exists, live in peace and be happy "As soon as I have a negative feeling towards something or someone, I recite this:" I prefer to love all that exists, to live in peace and to be happy "And i try to do what is important: like eating, work, exercise, meeting and learning to be a better person from other person or my belief, relax and meditate.
And 2-3 times a day I recite this:
The prayer of "Metta"
Have a nice day and continued to be a Christian if you are, because it's really a great religion with is Gospel.
Okay, so thanks for that because it gave me a lot to think about. You are a very spiritual person. Please think about why God likes people -- what is it about being a human being rather than being a spirit that God likes? We were created halfway between the angels and the animals -- and the bad angels fell because they don't like being servants to humans, right? The bad angels want us to be unhappy that we are not spirits like them, or they want us to focus on our animal nature, but God wants us to pay attention to both, do you think so? My history videos explain that more -- especially in H.A. #52 about the Urantia Book and A.A. (scroll down past the 90 short ones). The alcoholic sickness is helped by a relationship with God because alcoholics are devastatingly self-minded, selfish and self-absorbed -- they are so desperately needy and wanting and helpless that turning their attention away from themselves is a good beginning, but is not enough because alcoholics need "power" since they drank because they were seeking power over themselves and others (to escape from other people). God's power is the solution for them, but not to make them better people, but so they may serve God by helping other alcoholics get sober, and only God makes that possible because alcoholism cannot be helped by human power. When people try to fix alcoholism, it merely gets worse, and it gets worse fast. That has been my experience -- that no human power could have relieved our alcoholism, but that God could and would if He were sought. Not found, just sought. Recovery is a very narrow path for drunks -- to help other drunks -- because our drunkenness made us unable to learn how "normal" people do life, and cripples us in a way that normal people have avoided. We are not like normal people, and do not strive to be like them, because God likes alcoholics best. Trust me on that. Our alcoholism that we achieved will go with us throughout our entire life, as we will never lose the love we learned for the effect of drugs and alcohol (and shopping, gambling, food, looking-for-love). One way to find our primary addiction is to see how strongly we defend our right to do that behavior -- oh, I really need a husband/wife because no, we don't. Looking for love makes a chemical in our brain that is stronger than cocaine, and if I'm looking for love, then God knows I am not yet humbled by my alcoholism. My personal opinion is that everyone has alcoholism -- they just haven't yet discovered their personal preference for what they prefer to serving God, which is actually a very simple, easy thing to do. We just do the next right thing, and be grateful. Hmmmmm. Alcoholism (mine and other people's) has given me the gift of being single all my life -- 63 years old, never married, no kids -- and I am so grateful for the opportunity every day to talk to people with questions about AA that I don't for one minute miss not having a family or a husband, because all the AAs in the world are now my family, and the new people are my children and there are tears in my eyes as I type this. Any more questions? You are a very fine writer, and I trust that God has a great work for you to do in a great future! Time is God's best trick, and time is the Fourth Dimension in the Big Book, and God has a plan for you in His time, and in AA we learn to just do the simple easy things that the Holy Ghost puts in front of our face today, just for this day today. So my prayer is always, "Please God, make it easy and make it obvious and make it fun because I have suffered enough already and I am done suffering. Thanks." Try that for a couple days and let me know how it works for you, dear.
@@HistoryAnonymous I can't say why God loves people because I can't prove that God exists.
This is the first time that I have heard that we were created halfway between angels and animals. But I do know that science says we are anatomically closer to the monkey and the pig. Not to mention that many animals are much more evolved than us humans, such as whales which are mammals that can go very deep in the ocean or animals that hibernate, etc ...
In addition the dog is an animal that forgives more easily than us and each animal can cry, be afraid, be happy, be ashamed and be sad like me and you who are humans (homo sapiens) homo sapiens who have existed for at least 200 000 years old.
And about The Urantia Book, I have seen this book and if I remember correctly, it was bigger than the Bible. But with this book, it's like knowing all the leaves from one forest. While in another way, it is enough to have a handful of leaves in one hand to achieve awakening. Plus the Urantia Book reminds me a bit of the Quran, which rewrote some facts that are in the bible. So the Quran says the bible is wrong in many places, including the Old and New Testaments.
@@altela1597 The Urantia Book is worth looking at again -- it was channeled from outer space through a sleeping man in 1935 the same year that A.A. began, at the same time things were heating up in Germany! That's what my history videos are about -- what really happened in 1935, not what we have been taught in school. The real story is much more interesting! There is a government to the Universe -- it's not just accident and coincidence, but a planned evolution by very smart and very ancient Beings who obey the good government of the Universe. Well, most of them obey, but there was some trouble here on Earth with a rebellion for which the jury is still out (giving them a fair trial) but the verdict is due any day now. It's a riveting story being watched by gazillions of people all over the universe. The Koran was written by some Jews who wanted to stamp out Christians, and these Jewish scholars were to be killed as soon as it was finished, so they dragged it out as long as they could that they would be allowed to live awhile longer. People who have been taught the Koran enjoy reading the first page of the New Testament in the Bible because it makes sense to them even though most Christians don't really understand it. It's just a bunch of names to me, but people who know the Koran get all lit up by it. Tell me what is so interesting about this first page -- here's the link: www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Matthew-Chapter-1/
That was pretty good 😀..
A little angry???
Oh, much worse than that -- how do you trust God when your brain keeps getting in the way? Oh, I remember -- talk to newcomers! When my brain starts warning me that God may not be such a nice guy, I need to find a newcomer to listen to. That fixes it for sure every time! Thanks for sharing, dear.
Yup Daniel Carr is correct.
I hope you are not a sponsor
They told me to look for someone with the kind of sobriety you want, and make them your sponsor --but don't tell them, just pretend they're your sponsor and see how it goes. That worked so well for me that I got up the courage to ask someone to be my sponsor, but they never said anything helpful, so I picked someone else and that didn't do much, either, so I didn't have a sponsor for a long, long time and then I found out that the only thing that really works is to try to tell a new person about how this program works. That's the magic formula according to the book, and now that you know, you get to go try it yourself. It's not what we learn, but what we teach, and I promise you that working with other new people will be more fun than you could ever imagine, described in the chapter "A Vision For You" as "irresistible." New people are so funny -- they think you're stupid and got sober for all the wrong reasons, which means any reason at all, because if you're as smart as they are you would have been able to keep the ball rolling longer, right? Quitting is for losers! Hah, hah, hah. Thanks for sharing.
Never do pencil ... Pen only (NA tradition)..then get the NA step working guide🙂
Use pencil -- and have a lot of erasers on hand. Some folks in NA might've made that up about the pen, but it is not an actual tradition.
Why are you so angry
Don't mistake energy for anger. The Big Book tells us to stay on the firing line! Thanks for sharing.
I hear you I got enough I’ll put it on paper I’m not god though thank you by by
Any good drunk can make a list of what they're angry at -- we practice it when we sit on barstools, right? Who and what -- and then answer the questions in the book after making the list. First question could be, does this grievance have anything to do with my love of alcohol and drugs? If it's not, then we're in real trouble, but if what I'm mad about today has anything to do with my love of chemical relief, then I'm safe because God will handle it, and He will make it fun and easy because we've suffered enough. If that makes no sense to you, then just try looking for God anyway -- look under the bed and in the grocery store and in that small place in the back of your mind where you can kneel before your Creator and find peace at last. The book promises that we will find Him if we look, and that He will disclose Himself to us who are His most favorites -- because we are at the bottom of the barrel but He turns us into golden treasure because we are the only people who drunks will listen to. If you haven't had the pleasure of seeing the light come on in an addict's eyes because of something you said, just keep coming back until that happens, and you'll know why Bill W. and Dr. Bob were so on fire for this work!
Bye love you
step 4
In your list, only the other guy is wrong.
Oh, yeah, a resentment is that either they owe you, or you owe them. It's shocking to me that I still fall into that so easily -- oh, they cheated me! I didn't get paid, they don't understand me, they are SOOOOO wrong -- it's never gotten better after all these years. I'm so very grateful for that, because the only ease and comfort I find it is in the First Three Steps. Nothing else works for me, but those work every time, whenever I get willing to work them. Immediate relief. Whew! The brain I rely on is not my friend -- it says, "Oh, a drink would make you feel so much better!" Yeah, sure, thanks for reminding me this morning. Nothing better than starting off the day right. So look in your book -- it says to make a list of what makes us angry or afraid. Nothing about ourselves. The example of the list is NOT "I'm lazy, I'm impatient, I'm insensitive, I'm shallow, I'm rude, I'm stupid, I'm thoughtless, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "Normies" want us to feel shame about yourselves, but God likes us best. He likes our stubbornness, our fury, our courage, and our strength. We're not like "normies" at all. We're God's chosen. You'll see. It's pretty marvelous. Oh, don't believe me, it's in the Book. if you don't have a Big Book, here's a link. www.whytehouse.com/big_book_search/
4th step making a list .. sponsor point out NATURE of your wrongs 5th step
Hahaha :) Crazy :)
Oh, it's much worse than that -- it actually works. Tears of joy in my eyes as I type this. Thanks for sharing.
An easy 4th step? I don't believe it.
Not just easy, but more fun than drinking! The early AAs used to go around apologizing for stuff they didn't even do, just because it was so much fun. I did that for awhile in my home group but it backfired -- and it wasn't honest. But I enjoyed it for awhile, that marvelous feeling of not being so damn important and perfect all the time, just admitting to being a fallible human being saved by grace. A Fourth Step is about what is cutting me off from the Sunlight of the Spirit -- what's keeping me from seeing the Hand of God. So, yeah, it's really fun because the end result is always this feeling of standing underneath a waterfall of the Spirit -- but if you haven't done enough drugs, you won't like it as much as those of us who have. That's the problem with people who only did alcohol -- they miss out a lot on that Fourth Dimension. Anyways, thanks for sharing.
But I still love this video...
That is so funny! Yes, I'm morally bankrupt, and no matter how long I stay sober, I don't seem to be getting any more morally wealthy -- in human terms, that is. Yep, when noble people want to shame me for being a drunk, I have no choice but to hang my head in shame and agree with them. Yes, I'm a lowlife, guttersnipe, end-of-the-road, hopeless gimme-a-beer-goddammit drunk loser, and in so saying, every time I do that, I swear on my life that heaven itself opens and pours glory down upon my unworthy soul, and there are tears running out of my eyes as I type this. How can that be, that is God is so good to have created a world where He loves the humble more than the mighty, where He has compassion and mercy on those of us who cannot stand regular life, who do not know how to get through a single day without chemical peace of mind, whose idea of a good time is to stand by somebody else's bonfire barely able to keep on our feet for the amount of alcohol we've consumed, shaking our fist at the stars themselves in defiance? God is patience and His love knows no bounds, and I do believe that it takes a worthless drunk to know that well enough to be willing to look at ourselves in a Fourth Step, not just what is "wrong" with us, but how specifically we have put up walls between ourselves and our Creator. Oh, hey, thanks for sharing!
I wish you’d be more warm on your tone of voice
Thanks for sharing. I need to yell at myself a lot because nobody else will, and kindness almost killed me when I was drinking. How 'bout you?
@@HistoryAnonymous i can relate to that . thanks for your reply.
@@dudeitsmedweeb Something that always makes me laugh is how hard it is to get to a meeting. It doesn't matter how long I stay sober -- and it's been a really long time now -- it never gets any easier about not wanting to go to a meeting. Making excuses, bargaining with God . . . and I can remember as clearly as I know my own name how desperate I was to even get three weeks under my belt. There's something really wrong with my brain that just can't be fixed -- no matter what -- it's always gonna be like that. Mental health people (and church people) like to argue with me about that -- oh, you're so much better, they say -- but I'm not. I'm just the same as the fourth day sober. Maybe even Day One. So I'm real grateful for your email, sugar pie. It keeps me going back to the meetings, because people sicker than me are the only thing that really makes me feel better! 'Cause time is all we get, but time is really worth it. I'm so damn grateful that I don't have to drink or use today -- or gamble or shop or look for love -- and here's a really good thing to stick up on the wall for you:
St. Francis of Assisi, who was Bill W.’s patron saint, said: “Since the day of my conversion, I have never been well.” (Pass It On, p. 302).
I came to a CZcams so I could not read. Next video
Yeah, but without the original directions, it's just stuff people make up about what's wrong with us. But in the book it says there's nothing wrong with us!
I love this! Ty!
NO!!!!!
Have you heard that guy with an eyepatch from Texas say that we are God's favorites because of our rebelliousness and our stubbornness and our tenacity and our courage? Have you thought about how much courage it takes to be an alcoholic? How resilient and bold and thick-skinned we become? Do you suppose that anybody other than an alcoholic is brave enough to stand up to the devil and call him out? I was a selfish, self-centered, conceited and worthless person before I learned to drink and do drugs, and now sober I have come out so much better on the other side. Because now I have a reason for being -- to carry the message to those whose suffer as I once suffered. I loved your comment. It made me laugh! Do you remember how we didn't even smile in those final days of our drinking, and had to learn to laugh all over again? Isn't this fun now? People trying to get sober are so funny -- they think it's not easy but it is. It's so easy to stay sober -- all we have to do is not drink. EASY. Thanks for sharing!
Can you be my sponsor
Nice try...
Thanks for reminding me that it's time to do another fourth step this morning! Have you any idea why sometimes a tenth step isn't enough? Why is that? Been stewing about a couple things that need to go on my list right now! Thanks for sharing.
great
+Jack William Atkins, really great and easy! Thanks for sharing.
Also I don’t get it. Read it so they can convert Christians to Islam? First all are welcomed in AA. AA is not a Christian program. Also all those mentioned in Matthew 1 are also prophets In Islam. Actually there is even a chapter in the Quran titled Mary. She is mentioned in the Quran more than the Bible. Do not listen to this woman.
On page 46, the Book says, "To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men." Thank you for sharing. Keep coming back.
Then why were you being ignorant against Muslims. That is not the way you do step four
Also read the Quran the prophets are the same. There is even a chapter titled Mary. She’s mentioned in the Quran more than the bible. Abraham, David, Solomon are all prophets in the Quran Mary is the most revered woman in islam
Love this video
Very passionate
such nonsense im spiritually sick waching this my head is spinning ididnt know Aa existed on mars ffs
I had to google "ffs" and learned a new word. Thanks for that. How long have you been sober?
9 years iv been sponsoring iv never seen that before ! Im english of course ! We have a tendency to do things properly that is simply not inventory
Hey! I listen to British (???) speakers on XA from Reykjavik and I'm always surprised how SERIOUS the English ones sound. I got sober at Fremont in Seattle, and now I'm in Colorado where there's precious little AA. Last night I sat alone again with the coffee pot and Suduko puzzles, but cheered myself up by cleaning the mineral ring in the handicapped toilet. You gotta admit that God has a real sense of humor around alcoholism, yes? Please laugh now. And thank you for sharing, dear Andy Gill.
Andy Gill jack ass,
Thank you so much
Blessings
So grateful for your daily reading because I don't get to meetings because I'm so insane (my best guess, but it must be God's will, yes?) and your video has become part of my day. Thank you for sharing, dear.
@@HistoryAnonymous
We are all insane but hopefully not all the time at the same time 🙂🙃
Thank you also in sharing the fourth step I love simplicity in one thing at a time.🙏
@@Omnipresence101 Well, it got better for me when I realized fully that no human being could help me -- including (and especially) the people in my Al-Anon group. That forced me to rely on God, which was difficult because He is so mysterious and He is usually pretty well hidden -- anonymous and unobtrusive. The only way I learned to trust Him is that I had no other choice -- my best wasn't good enough and no other people came close to being able to help me. There was a time long ago when I thought that I had what it took to make it in this world, but I got the rug pulled out from under me so often that I learned that God wants us to search out His ways -- his mysteries and tricks and timing and magic phrases like "This Too Shall Pass" and "But For the Grace of God." I am 63 years old now, and looking back, life is so much better and funner and more interesting doing it God's way (Al-Anon) than if my way had succeeded spectacularly! Will you please tell me if you can read this entire reply, because someone told me recently that they could only see the first few lines of my reply, and I wonder if they were just not wanting to know about the answer -- or what kind of swamp fog they were suffering from (having suffered from a lot of swamp fog myself). Hey, it does get better -- a lot better. I promise. That ODAT really works.
sent you a reply but it didn't go through maybe it was too personal or triggering for U tube, don't know,
don't need to know.
This too...
It is as it is.
Thank you for sharing your experience strenght and hope.
Pearls of great price
It is enought to be " IN " AL-Anon
That is enough to be attending.
Thank you🙏
And yes got your reply up to the end " That ODAT really works"
Hi Pam Letting everything be as It is as it's meant to be supposed to be and should be in this moment.
The world is in good hands
Everything is looking after everything.
Thanks for being here