So you think you might be Autistic...Now What?
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- Äas pĹidĂĄn 7. 07. 2024
- I'd love to post more frequently on this channel because I have WAY too many ideas! To make the possible, I've started a Patreon. If you join, you'll get get 2 exclusive videos a month and access to the Discord server, even on the lowest tier:
/ imautisticnowwhat
đ If you want to learn more about the Patreon & Discord community, I have a video tour! đ: ⢠Introducing... THE ANT...
So you think you might be Autistic...Now What? Do you get an official diagnosis? If so, what are the first steps?
00:00 Now what?
01:18 Not an emergency
05:39 Take these online tests
11:54 Read these books
13:10 Important traits
15:27 Did you do these things as a child?
17:54 Do you have any of these?
18:55 Should you get an official diagnosis?
25:30 Make a dreaded GP appointment
33:53 Is self-diagnosis valid?
References:
đMy Videos Mentionedđ:
10 Traits of Autism (emotions & interests):
⢠10 Traits of Autism yo...
10 Traits of Autism (common sensory differences):
⢠10 Traits of Autism in...
10 Social Traits:
⢠Are you just Socially ...
10 Signs you have Pathological Demand Avoidance:
⢠10 Signs you have Path...
Taking the CAT-Q with my Neurotypical Husband:
⢠Does EVERYONE Mask? | ...
Me taking the CAT-Q:
⢠How to Know if you're ...
Autistic Special Interests are NOT what you think:
⢠10 Traits of Autism in...
Reacting to (Neurospicy?) Autism Memes!:
⢠YOUR Parents are Autis...
Books Mentioned:
*Unmasking Autism by Devon Price:
amzn.to/3LhMV3j
*Chloe Hayden's Book (where was this book when I was 17?? PLEASE READ!):
amzn.to/40fKx2m
*Aspergirls by Rudy Simone:
amzn.to/3xSZ6Mg
*Aspergers on the Job:
amzn.to/41xFav5
Mental Health and Neurodevelopment Disorders:
camhs.rdash.nhs.uk/rotherham/...
NHS Autism Pages:
www.nhs.uk/conditions/autism/
Autism Screening Quizzes on Embrace Autism:
embrace-autism.com/autism-tests/
The Independent Article:
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk...
The DSM-5 Traits of Autism:
www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/hcp...
The National Autistic Society (Asking for reasonable adjustments):
www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-...
Australian Department of Home Affairs (Skilled independent visa):
immi.homeaffairs.gov.au/visas...
Australian Department of Home Affairs (Health Waiver):
immi.homeaffairs.gov.au/help-...
The National Autistic Society (Benefits of a Diagnosis):
www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-...
Asperger syndrome and other terms:
www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-...
Axia I am Autistic Card:
axia-asd.co.uk/new-axia-alert...
PIP:
www.gov.uk/pip
Employment Gap:
www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/...
Pre-diagnosis support - a guide for adults who think they might be autistic:
www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-...
Axia:
axia-asd.co.uk/
Psychiatry UK:
psychiatry-uk.com/
NICE guideline 142:
www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg142
CZcams Videos Mentioned:
10 AUTISM TRAITS TO LOOK FOR IN GIRLS:
⢠10 AUTISM TRAITS TO LO...
10 Female Autistic Traits | AUTISM IN GIRLS:
⢠10 Female Autistic Tra...
Autistic Meltdowns in a Female Adult | AUTISM IN GIRLS:
⢠Autistic Meltdowns in ...
You Might be Autistic If...
⢠You Might be Autistic ...
Yo Samdy Sam (Autism symptoms in GIRLS):
⢠Autism symptoms in GIRLS
7 Signs of Autism in Men (DSM-5 Symptoms of Autism/Aspergers in High Functioning Autistic Adults):
⢠7 Signs of Autism in M...
16 Overlooked Autistic Traits in Females / AFAB Individuals:
⢠16 Overlooked Autistic...
The Problems With PIP| Purple Ella:
⢠The Problems With PIP|...
DISCLAIMER: I am a second-year psychology student and a late-diagnosed #actuallyautistic individual. I am not a qualified healthcare professional.
*Links with a star are affiliate links. The channel will receive a small commission if you buy anything on Amazon after clicking through with this link. There's no extra cost to you and any money will go towards putting out more content. I'd love to post twice a week and put more time into research for these videos. Thank you so much - I really appreciate every like and comment!
Thank you so much for watching. And thank you if you're one of the 15,000 (??!!) people who decided to click subscribe. It's very surprising and scary, but I'm so grateful.
I really hope this video can be helpful.
If you feel like your experience of autism is a bit atypical and perhaps you're too social to be autistic, you might find my videos on the PDA profile of autism (appearing more socially 'able' is one of the traits) or how masking feels from the inside, useful.
10 Signs you have Pathological Demand Avoidance:
czcams.com/video/1Uq1n8UQ3hc/video.html
But How Does Masking Feel from the Inside:
czcams.com/video/H4vcMWB7fuQ/video.html
This video is more than helpful, it will guide many people home
That video on PDA was really eye opening, as my potential ASD (testing forthcoming) was difficult to understand due to my ability to be outgoing to the point of appearing like an extrovert. I knew there was something that was different about me compared to others in how my brain worked but couldn't put my finger on it, just chalking it up to being a little quirky or eccentric. after watching your videos and others, as well as applying my "special" researching skills, it turned out that ASD explained a lot! Now instead of incorrectly assuming I was extroverted and having my issues with that I now know it's an elaborate manifestation of masking, which helped reconcile why I felt also introverted, why I was so burnt out after being social, and why at times I felt frustrated with my social skills.
I can't recommend enough to people who might have suspicion that they might be on the spectrum to give it a closer look, try the assessments, and watch videos like these. Having the knowledge opens up the doors for finding tools that can improve life in numerous and immeasurable ways.
This channel might just blow up đ
Your videos are so informative and relatable, thank you đĽ°
Can I ask where you asked to be referred to for diagnosis please? My GP was supposed to refer me 4 months ago but I've found out today that the referral wasn't sent, and they've lost all of my paperwork, including the many pages of supporting information I included đ˘ I'm thinking if I've got to start the process again, I may as well try and be referred to a good place! â¤
Maybe I also have to watch the PDA-Vid.
I'm often in doubt and struggling whether I'm in the spectrum or not, because my problems are now often only very subtle.
E.g. I don't really know the feeling of "sun is too bright, everything's too loud, ...", but then I also know beeing in a shutdown (but they started through social interactions, and the last one was nearly 2 years ago.).
Its kinda difficult đ
(Oh, and yes, I got my diagnosis, when I was 12. And the diagnosis literally says 'atypical autism' (F84.11, ICD-10. The ICD-10 is basically the same book as the DSM-5, with the difference, that this book is used in europe to diagnose all kinds of illnesses and conditions. And Autism has some slightly different diagnosis criteria)
Anyone else feel like your struggles were just completely ignored by everyone around them, and now, as an adult, you are starting to make sense of it all?
Yes! Taken me years to consider it, let alone accept it. I have a flat affect and it's so heart breaking when yet another person I thought cared just decide I'm being disrespectful or sarcastic just looking at me They never stop resenting me.
@Wes Beuning That sucks man, I get how it feels; I am going through the process finally, and it's hard opening up to others. Also, knowing at some point it will be used against you or people will deny you have it. Hope you find better relationships man.
@@ssocar96 yeah, I know about where you're at. Things will make more sense the more you start to learn about it. Only reason I threw my trash up there in the comment is that I knew someone else also gets it. Someone else always gets it.
Yes
Describes me perfectly.
"You're not indulgent or attention seeking if you think you might be autistic you're taking care of yourself"
That hit me like a truck,
Tysm for all of the videos you've made around autism. âĽď¸
I haven't reached this part of the video yet and am scrolling through the comments, but this comment hit me like a truck. I don't know why I'm crying right now đđđ
âWho put this bowl of onions here đ§ đ
I read "Tysm" as "Tism" at first XD
Please please help me Idk what to do no one is listening to me. Please.
đ@@tinyfreckle
i spoke with my primary doctor a couple months ago about getting a diagnosis. she seemed a bit doubtful initially but then said she noticed a couple traits in me. referred me to neurology, who said they canât diagnose adults⌠for some reason. i had an appointment a couple weeks later in neurology for a different reason and brought up the autism suspicion, as i thought it was relevant to the discussion we were having. the neurology doctor could not see any traits in me and said i would have been diagnosed as a child if i were autistic and that most autistic people canât function in daily life without having frequent meltdowns. needless to say, i had a massive breakdown in my car afterwards⌠called my primary doctorâs office, bawling. they sent me a list of private practice$ to reach out to about getting a diagnosis. this whole time since then, iâve been trying to reach out to other places about getting a diagnosis, but many have a waitlist and are expensive. iâve talked about my frustration with my new therapist, who is the only person who seems to believe me, so at least i have that going for me. but then today, i was seen by a nurse practitioner and passively mentioned the autism thing to her. she didnât believe me because iâm âintelligentâ and iâm able to socialize (thanks to masking), and if anything iâm âhigh functioningâ, which is just⌠yikes. she also suggested that i donât need to worry about having a social worker (because iâve been worried about affording housing/car maintenance/etc. when my parents and grandparents pass away) because when i find someone to settle down with (aka a cis het man) i wonât have to worry about that stuff. iâm just incredibly frustrated with the stigma iâve been facing and iâm seriously considering changing providers for this reason. i donât know what iâm looking to get out of this rant, i guess i just donât have anyone to talk to irl about this who would understand đ if anyone has any input/advice/etc, iâd appreciate it! â¤
I also do not really have people to talk to about it in real life.
When I told my therapist that I think I may be autistic, she said that I am no one to research autism, that I should leave that to doctors, and that I don't have any issues, so I shouldn't think about it... I told my mother twice about my doubts, but she just looked at me like I had grown two heads (that is how you say it, right? I'm not a native speaker...).
I also told my classmates about it and they had the same reaction.
My best friend told me that I shouldn't trust tests online (I took the same tests Meg was talking about). All in all, I just feel so invalidated, and the fact that I am an adolescent really isn't helping ăź also what if it's all in my head, I mean I am basically a kid, I really am no one to self-diagnose or just have doubts of this kind...I guess I am going to study neuropsychiatry when I get older, so I can be surer about it, but it wouldn't be bad to be at least heard and taken a bit seriously...
When I told the people I worked with for years that I thought I might be autistic, they laughed and looked at me oddly. When I told my ex-box she seemed to be almost in denial. I've seen the signs in her also. When I was growing up, they didn't have any testing at all. I'm from the suck it up buttercup generation. Excuses were not allowed. Times have changed but unfortunately we still have a ways to go. Keep fighting for what you believe in. When I told my GP he gave me the number for psychiatric. I'm really much prefer non-verbal so 7 months later I still haven't called.
Some people doubt that I am autistic for the exact reasons that you listed above (being intelligent and sociable, being able to function on a daily basis, etc.) but I think they just canât see it because they arenât aware of what masking can look like and donât have a good understanding of autism in general. I was lucky enough to be able to get an official diagnosis, which gave me some peace of mind around the imposter syndrome I was having, but at the same time felt kind of let down that I had paid $1500 for an assessment just to be told what I deep down already knew. I will say that whether you get an official diagnosis or not, finding a neurodiversity affirming therapist is a huge help and may even be able to help you find better providers that wonât invalidate your autism in other areas too. Wishing you the best of luck in your self discovery journey â¤ď¸
Hey, I didnât read your whole comment but when you said about the meltdown thing in your car, I remembered a memory where I lashed out at a family member when I was like 15 years old. We had came home from the pediatrician and he had told me that there was nothing wrong with me. It made me feel like everything I was going. Through was actually my fault. I think Iâm starting to understand why I did that because when I lashed out at that family member, I always remember that as the worst thing Iâve ever done in my life. But maybe I was just extremely confused and extremely ashamed and in a lot of pain
Mom on the spectrum has some great free resources available including places that specialize in diagnosing high-masking late diagnosed people. I am self diagnosed, but am working on a script on what to say when people say ignorant things. That might help you too.
I'm 99% sure that I'm autistic. For the most part it's been a relieving journey figuring everything out, but it's also making me realize how much stress I experienced in my childhood leading up to now. I think I would like an official diagnosis but I'm currently unable to, so I kind of want to self-diagnose, but the small voice in my brain keeps telling me that I'm not and that I'm blaming my "things" on autism.
I'm in the same boat here, I went to my GP a few months ago and was told that she couldn't give me a reference for assessment, since I told her that I'm functioning well academically and I'm not depressed or have anxiety (which are both also diagnoses, so I did not view it as my place to say). There has been a lot of talk about psychiatry being underfunded and under stress in my country, so I kind of let her dictate and probably didn't get everything I wanted across. I have since chosen a different GP and written a letter that I some day want to send when I feel like going at it again. I've only told a handful of the people I know, and I definitely can relate to the imposter syndrome, but even if parts of our behavior might due to a disorder, disability or whatever it is, I don't think there is a harm in trying to fix the things we don't like about ourselves :)
@@SimplyConeh I hope everything works out for you, when you want to give it a go again. My only wish with getting a diagnosis is that I can finally understand how my brain works, how I can help myself, and why people have treated me differently. I'm happy that other people know how I feel
@@LifeWithTheLion I hope the same for you :) And yeah, the reason why I was so agreeable was also that she made it sound like the psychiatry had difficulties and I would be taking a spot from someone in extreme mental distress, and I don't feel like I have had a terrible life compared to many. However, I've later found out that the stress is almost entirely on the children and young sections, and that the adult sections are actually keeping up really well.
Anyway, I could probably go on at length about stuff (perhaps an effect of ASD? :P), but I'll try not to bore you - hope you get everything figured out :)
@@SimplyConeh thank you! đ It was cool talking to you random person on the internetđ
I had these exact feelings about ADHD until yesterday because my close friend disowned me over it, and the psychiatrist I've seen basically confirmed everything I've suggested, including my initial choice of medication. It still feels weird, and reaffirms my similar certainty that I have comorbid autism, but it's more difficult to diagnose without a personal visit to a clinic that has a certain set of items that are used during an assessment, somehow (spoiling the nature of it is a bad idea, so I refuse to look it up).
The attention seeking thing is so funny to me because in my case I seek to have as little attention as possible. If I had it my way I'd probably only let myself be perceived by like 5 people for the rest of my life
Same
Same here!
100%
Same!
Same, if I could be completely invisible or avert people's gazes from me at will, life would be so much better
Learning that I am autistic was shocking at first, but soon became a feeling of relief. I'm not upset that I am autistic; I'm upset that nobody noticed for my entire life and that I had to figure it out for myself. My life is still a mess, but now I can begin to assess my problems in a framework that makes better sense. Definitely a work in progress.
I'm worried that if I went for an assessment that they will want to speak to my family, but I am not confident that they will have even noticed anything because i just masked đ
â@@user-ng9pn9lg2p I had similar worries because I felt my parents (or anybody) just did not notice anything ever (not even my depression, suicidal ideation and self harm) and would only remember what a docile yet quiet kid I was. So why would they remember any autistic traits.
But apparently the diagnostician knew which questions to ask so they did find prove from my childhood.
About the masking I would not worry too much, I guess that starts a lot later. To mask you have to have theory of mind and that comes later, especially in autistic people. (I was a heavy maker for decades and I'd say I started doing it around age 10 or 11) So I don't think that young children mask so there should always be signs (which might seem subtle at that time but might make more sense in hindsight...)
I hope everything goes well for you!
@@anniestumpy9918 thanks for your words of encouragement :)
I will try one day, just trying to build up the courage. Going to start with journaling my traits and things first.
Hope you and yours are well :)
@@user-ng9pn9lg2p I have not been formally diagnosed, and I intend to leave it that way for the moment, on the advice of my therapist. After some research, she discovered that if I were to be determined Autistic, then I would no longer qualify to receive the therapy I currently get, therefore I am better off with a diagnosis of Major Depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, both of which I definitely have, although coping with autism is undoubtedly an underlying cause.
To be clear, you do not need a formal diagnosis to be actually autistic. Self-diagnosis is valid.
@@LaCafedora I don't feel comfortable diagnosing myself, and it has come to light that my son could also be on the spectrum, so I think we are going to try and figure this out together :)
I paid privately for an assessment, 1 hour face to face alone, 1 hour zoom call with partner, they advised I wasn't autistic, yesterday, I had an NHS assessment, more time spent with me and face to face for 3 hours, partner also interviewed, result... I am autistic. I am glad that I went, so, for those of you that are thinking of going private, maybe best to wait and save your money. Now the journey of re reviewing my life begins!... And how to tell the family đ
Thank you for sharing this!
"You've got time, don't worry, your brain's not going anywhere, it's all going to be OK". I nearly cried. Thank you for these videos.
Iâm experiencing âwhatâs the point of a diagnosis at this point in lifeâ at the same time as âI need affirmation now!â
I've been thinking about me being autistic since April and this "imposter syndrom" has been with me all along. Yesterday I took raads r test and... I got 227 out of 240... I think even my inner imposter was shocked that moment.
I really needed the validation that self diagnosis is accepted within the autistic community so thank you. Iâm 100% sure Iâm autistic but just donât have the ability to get the official diagnosis⌠or really the need besides external validation. But Iâve totally felt like Iâd be seen as a fake for self diagnosis. Glad to know we get each other lol
Agreed!
The neurodivergent parents thing is so real đ as I started finding out things about myself I would tell them about traits I have and they would always say âEveryone does thatâ to the point where I felt gaslit⌠Itâs awful that they had to get through their whole lives without knowing they were different but now Iâm struggling to correctly diagnose myself because they donât remember me doing anything weird, cause it was all normal to them. One time when I was 1 my mom gave me medicine and I started going purple without crying or anything. I was literally dying and I didnât react in any way and to her that was ânormalâ. Every time my teachers called my mother it was the same topic âyour child is so bright but she just needs to pay attention and apply herself.â and I think my teachers were trying to get my mom to get me help without outright saying it but she got that LITERALLY and would tell me to concentrate and apply myself more⌠to which I would say okay and I would be perfect for a week until inevitably burning out and doing even worse than before. In elementary school I would go to the nurse EVERY DAY complaining that my tummy hurt. Turns out I had gastritis because my safe food was (still is) pizza, but even after getting treated for that I was still going everyday⌠NOBODY THOUGHT IT WAS ANXIETY BECAUSE IT WAS âNORMALâ. In middle school and high school I would just cry in the bathroom everyday instead. I didnât get any help for my mental health until I was 13 and I told my mom I was heavily depressed and I couldnât live one more day if I didnât get help, only to be only treated for my depression and anxiety which largely came from traumatic experiences that were only traumatic and in many cases only happened because of the way I process the world. Itâs so frustrating to live this way and without an official diagnosis Iâll never get the accommodations I need⌠itâs a struggle because I donât want an official diagnosis, I just want to be understoodâŚ
I completely gave up with therapy because the one time I unmasked my psychologist thought I was psychotic and tried to lock me in the mental hospital. They never believe me⌠just because Iâve learned how to mask out of survival instincts⌠They always see me as a depressed, bipolar, anxious, mentally unstable person⌠but they always fail to understand the cause⌠My last psychologistâs assessment had the word âperfectionismâ more than 20 times but since I can hold a conversation I couldnât be autistic⌠Must just be insecure. I just kept getting worse the more I went to therapy. The system is so damn broken.
Idk if it helps, but I understand your struggles
I think there's a very good chance i'm autistic, but i can't afford an official diagnosis right now, so i'm sitting here thinking: if i start actually 100% believing i'm autistic and telling people, and then someone diagnoses me as NOT autistic, what is that going to do to me?? absolutely terrifying prospect.
I feel like that "i'm not crazy, my mom had me tested" meme, because my mom DID have me tested when i was small, but she claims the results were confidential (?????) so she doesn't know anything. Extremely sus
Yo Samdy Samâs video detailing autistic masking was the video that let me accept that Iâm autistic. I spent soooo many years finding all the reasons I couldnât be autistic, and she laid so many of them out in that video and taught me that it was just masking. It changed my entire life for the better and Iâm getting a little teary-eyed just thinking about how it felt to have that realization now đ I also spent weeks in a bit of a funk while I was processing all these memories of things I had always seen as being failings and âmy faultâ. The biggest realization for me out of all of it was how *MEAN* Iâve always been to myself. Turns out Iâve been bullying an autistic kid my whole damn life, itâs just that the kid was _me_ and the bullying was just internalizing everything Iâd been through.
The part about not responding reminded me of when I first started kindergarten and had no idea whatsoever how to interact with kids that werenât my family. The teacherâs daughter was leading a little role play while we were taking a break and told me âAnd then youâll be like â and i just stared at her and thought about the sentence in my head because I didnât understand that she wanted me to repeat it out loud as part of the game. I didnât make any friends in that class, surprise.
God I wish my assessment had only been ÂŁ900 đ This country sucks.
Going through thisâŚÂŁ1500-ÂŁ2000 is criminal, or 3+ years on the NHS :â
@@timbobshe I paid $2k for mine. Still waiting on the official results, but my assessor was also autistic so Iâm not too worried about having wasted it all for naught, at least.
@@Avendesora Jesus. I hope everything goes well for you and you get the right support ^^
Berkeley psychiatrists do one on line for ÂŁ995 ish with a consultant psychiatrist
@@Suki_Damson_123 Online? Thatâs pretty neat! Iâm in the US so iâd not have had access to that but telehealth stuff is so nice
I thank the almighty CZcams algorithm for immediately showing this video to me after it was uploaded. I've been thinking that I might be autistic for a while now and this video helped me a lot.
Iâm so so glad I could help! Thank you for watching đ
You addressed something that really hits me. Sometimes I have to understand why things are the way they are, why decisions were made, what is going to happen etc. Then, some people seem to be surprised by my questions, seemingly misinterpret the reason behind my question, and/or get defensive etc. Which in turn makes me feel bad for asking those questions. It's so weird. Also, some people actively don't want misunderstandings to get resolved, which is another hit straight in my feelings. đ
Orion Kelly just did a short on this (âAutism feels like you need all the detailsâ), and there are lots of comments from people on the spectrum that have this exact same problem, people get mad at us for asking so many questions, but we need to. Itâs a really common autistic trait.
Yep. "Why?" is a question I posit often, it seems to irritate some people after they realise the pattern in me to know the why behind anything. They almost take offense to it. My parents expressed irritation too when I was a child and I always had to know the why behind every piece of information or every request / demand or a possible future event presented to me. I like some form of predictability and I have learnt not to trust most people with handling my experience. Then in being tasked with stuff, I didn't even care about doing something I was asked, I cared to know why I was doing it. If I couldn't know then I didn't do it. If the reason wasn't comprehensible then I didn't do it. I try to comprehend as much as I can, though.
I used to get in so much trouble for asking why I needed to do something, even when I prefaced it with "I will do it, I don't mind doing it, I just need to know WHY it needs to be done."
I've gotten in trouble countless times in kitchen work for asking too many questions. I feel you.
Completely understand you
It took two days of special-interest-level research, including but not limited to many of your videos, and Iâm at the point now where Iâm ready to say Iâm self-diagnosed autistic (with official ADHD diagnosis). On some level, I always knew. I just didnât have the language or understanding. Now I do. I always said I would never trade my brain or my life for any other, good and bad. And Iâm even more deeply grateful for this life now knowing that Iâm not alone, that there are so many more like me!
I stumbled across an autism in women video about a month ago. Fell into a research rabbit hole. I then asked my friends and family if I exhibited any of the behaviors and was shocked to find out how obvious it is that I am autistic. I've got a GP appointment on Wednesday where I'm asking for a referral to be evaluated. So needless to say, your video is really hitting home. Its been a really hard month. There is so much to learn and process. Your video is helping me feel better about this process and understanding this is going to take a while to adjust to. Thank you for making this video.
Thank you for sharing. Would you have preferred if people told it to you directly instead of you figuring out? The reason I'm asking is because there are strong indications my son (7 years) might be on the spectrum.
I've heard sources claiming it might be better to create the an environment for him to develop as well as he can, but that it should be a discovery for him to make for himself along the way. However, from the way you wrote it seems you would have preferred to know it earlier. Did your environment know it and not tell you or did they not know your behaviors might point towards autism?
My apologies if you find these questions too personal. Feel free to ignore if so.
â@@leegarnier9396 I'm in my 30's so it wasn't that people choose not to tell me. People 25 years ago didn't know what autism or adhd looked like in little girls. My behavior was also much like my parents', if more extreme. Our family friends tended to share some odd behaviors because neurodivergent people tend to make friends with other neurodivergents. No one thought to question why we all struggled.
If you are neurodiverse there is no hiding that you are different to others. It is better to know why you are different with a neutral label then be called lazy, weird, or other names which then get internalized. Also, having that label helps a person advocate for themselves as well as being able to find out what works for others like them.
I generally hold the belief that people should know what is going on with their own bodies. Out right hiding a diagnosis isn't good. How you slowly introduce the idea, I'm not sure but definitely don't hide it. At least that is my opinion, not to make a judgment on what you should or shouldn't do in your circumstance.
I would say you should check out ADHD Aha! There are good stories of what it is like to find out about neurodiversity as a child and as an adult. Good luck! I hope you find the information you need.
@@danibeata2435 Thanks Dani , for your insights. I think I understand what you mean. Been through the ADHD hoops myself at a later age, with all the 'you just gotta apply yourself' labels applied in the mean time đ.
I might've made some other life choices or sought social prosthetics if the right knowledge was available. Those are the opportunities I'd like to be available for my kid.
There's a bit less of a stigma surrounding ADHD compared to ASD though, which is why I was wondering.
Haha. Your timing is perfect.
At 5:00 when youâre saying âif you donât have capacity right now, itâs okay to come back when youâre ready.â
I was just then thinking âI think this video is perfect for me, thereâs so much I could learn! But I am full up in âfizzy brainâ right now and I donât think I can absorb whatâs here.â
Anyway⌠see you in a few hours or whatever. Youâre great!
I was seeking out a diagnosis, but it's hard to find someone in my US health plan, and those outside were too expensive. I gave up, but I ran through the DSM-5 and then again with my partner's assessment of me. Considering that's what many psychiatrists use, that's enough validation to me. I don't have over-sensitivity issues, which is what causes the most problems and needs accommodations, so a professional diagnosis wouldn't benefit me as much.
With my unofficial diagnosis, I feel my weirdness is justified, and I know there are support materials I can use to help me socially.
I was actually relieved, and so was my son, when I realized we are autistic. I tried to pursue a diagnosis for him but in the middle of waiting my husband's work changed insurance companies and they refused to cover any of it. I haven't looked into for myself yet because of how hard it is as a woman on the spectrum to get a diagnosis.
At 4:21 you say "I knew that if I research something I research it hard; it becomes my whole life; I dedicate my whole existence to it... and I just knew I did not have the capacity and therefore I just didn't look into it anymore."
That experience really resonates with me. There are many things that I'd like to take up, but I am not ready for everything else in my life to fall to the wayside as I know it will.
I score just over on the autistic tests, or higher.. but I feel like because I am hyper empathetic and have taught myself how to not stand out or to seem neurotypical even with my adhd, eye contact, all of that.. no doctor is going to take my concern seriously. There are so many things everyday where Iâm like wait.. this isnât something most people feel/do/react to/struggle with. So why am I like this?! But admitting I had adhd was difficult itself and I still struggle with âimposter syndromeâ some days. Until I have a total breakdown because Iâve lost my keys twice and had to run back home to get my forgotten lunch bag for work and then at work hit the wrong buttons, tripped over my own feet and forgot what I was doing for the third time in an hour đ
If you don't have dyspraxia, part of the other difficulty with some sports is that there's a lot of social ques that you're expected to just understand.
Like Volleyball was very confusing for me, and I remeber getting weird looks for not understanding what we were supposed to be doing. Classmates thought I was just being uncooperative on purpose.
Lacking motor skills or coordination is quite common in autistic people, even without dyspraxia or developmental coordination disorder. Developmental coordination disorder (That's what I got diagnosed with under the name "Motor clumsiness". It describes a general delay in development of motor coordination and not a general lack of "planning your movements") and dyspraxia (more about struggling to plan your movements) both share similar symptoms.
With volleyball, I agree, that was very confusing, combine that with the motor skills required to punch the ball into the right direction and you got me in 5th grade, worse than any other student in class, literally loosing almost any single time against the one who was considered the 2nd worst. In teams it was very strange how others were able to do those split second decisions by signaling each other what they plan to do with simple commands and sometimes just looks and gestures. How do they do that? In comparison to a handstand pushup this seems much more impressive to me personally. A handstand pushup requires lots of strength, coordination and stability, though it seems there's a very clear path to learning and mastering it. Volleyball feels like it requires telepathy and thus feel impossible đ
I've just started the diagnostic process at 53. The lectures by Sarah Hendrickx have helped me a lot (here on CZcams). Also her book (Women and Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder).
Thanks for sharing! Iâm late diagnosed, and still struggling with acceptance. Your videos help to process this unexpected, unchartered journey.
I was diagnosed back when I was in the first grade. However, the school district and was a bit⌠unsure how to handle autism. They first addressed it with my mom (who worked with non verbal autistic children at the time) and wanted to get me assessed. Unfortunately, she was offended because she thought autism= non verbal/learning disability. She agreed to the assessment to âprove the school district wrong,â however, the professionals who came in and worked with me for a few months all agreed that I was autistic. When they told my mom about the diagnosis (Aspergerâs syndrome at the time prior to the DSM-5 release) and upcoming IEP/ moving me to a different and more âspecializedâ classroom, my mom freaked out and pulled me out of school. I was homeschooled till I was in the 6th grade. She not only pulled me out of that school but to a whole other city, scared that the diagnosis would follow me.
Sadly, this time was difficult. Whenever I acted âautisticâ I was punished (either beaten by my father or extreme emotional abuse from my mother). I didnât even learn to tie my shoes till I was in the fifth grade. I struggled so much. We even lived in a moldy trailer which triggered me terribly and my cat, who was my best friend, was killed by my father. Then we moved into an empty house that wasnât complete, it was still a construction site (there were no walls, electricity, water, insulation). I should mention, when they pulled me from school and located to a different city, they hired a company to build a house but they couldnât afford it⌠so it just sat there, hence we moved into the âhomeâ while they saved up to complete it. Anyways, due to unfit living conditions, extreme abuse and lack of contact with the outside world, I was SEVERELY behind when I was put back into school for the sixth grade. My mother, who wanted to âbeatâ the autism out of me, unfortunately made it worse. I was a social outcast for a few years before I was able to make a couple friends.
Idk where Iâm going with this, but, things are better. My mother has been educated about how autism is a spectrum and itâs okay that I have it. She now excepts me for who I am. It took 18 years of my life for her to finally realize. I went no contact with my father (he tried to kill me twice because I wasnât the child he wanted. He wanted a son and someone who wasnât autistic). And I now have a good career and a living partner with my own place.
It makes me happy to see so many autism videos now. I wish I had these when I was younger, it would have really helped. Thatâs why Iâm happy they are here for the next generation.
I broke down when you spoke about being welcome in the community, validity regardless of diagnosis, etc. I am undiagnosed and feel so alone and desperate to be understood and was just ... absolutely overwhelmed with emotion to hear those words. Thank you.
Your channel is going far. I'm watching from Brazil.
Thank you for your videos, they help me to learn more about myself.
1. I love your top/ dress!
2. Thank you for being here and being such an amazing person.
3. I follow those other channels mentioned, and theyâre great too. I think itâs great you supported other channels.
This is such a well made, comprehensive video, thank you so much!
Thank you for linking all these tests, it really does help me feel better about considering I might have autism. Like I'm scared I'm just lazy and anxious. But all my test scores are saying I'm very likely autistic and honestly that's such a relief, at least it means *something* is going on and I'm not just like... a bad person.
Where I live it's been very hard to try and find someone who even works with autistic adults that weren't diagnosed as children (a lot of ABA clinics which, from what I've heard, is a controversial therapy, so that makes me nervous). I am trying very hard to get my mental health stuff treated and struggling a lot and I think it would be easier if I were diagnosed and could find a therapist who understands autism, but it's a struggle.
I find watching your videos very soothing though, the way you explain things is very kind and reassuring, so thank you for that.
4:34 You speak of a grieving process... this hit me very hard. Recently I became disabled (Long COVID chronic fatigue syndrome) and the medicine I take to make my pain manageable and life livable also happens to be something that makes my ADHD far worse. I have spent a lot of time reflecting on my ADHD, and it is certainly a grieving process. It also led me to suspect that I may have a bit of Autism.
I think, thanks to already spending a lot of time thinking about my ADHD, this process should be a lot easier for Autism, but I just want you to know that I feel heard.
Edit: I started watching your videos because I believe my son may have Autism. We are working on trying to get him diagnosed, but it is proving to be a long process. Your videos have helped me reaffirm my belief that both He and I have Autism.
Edit 2: I appreciate your talks about whether I should get a diagnosis for myself. It helps me understand that I probably shouldn't worry about it, I think I will still work on it for my son as he is only in kindergarten and has a lot of school ahead that it could be very helpful for him.
This was exactly the video I needed today. Thank you for walking me through this.
I've never heard of heightened proprioception as a sign of autism. I remember my mom being amazed at how on point I was as a 6 year old in telling what's exactly wrong with my body at a given moment, later I took huge interest in biology and anatomy and now can easily identify physical issues. I recognize many different types of pain, discomfort, I can even name them in latin đ
Hypersensitivity to light, sounds, stims - all fits.
Thank you. So many helpful things and liked the structure and chapters made it easy to absorb.
This have been such a blessing to find đ I have really been struggling with mental health and seen many counselors and doctors and have been overlooked and not listened to. Iâve been wondering more and more if Iâm neurodivergent from listening to other peopleâs experiences and just me always feeling like something was out of place or Iâm always âacting humanâ and finding myself going over scripts for how to interact with people. Hopefully this year I can get more answers, but itâs been comforting just knowing there are other people who have dealt and are dealing with these realizations as well. â¤ď¸
14:11 Your chart looks SUPER similar to the one I got and it makes me feel so much less strange. I have been officially on the hunt for someone under my insurance who can help me find a diagnosis and it IS scary. It would explain so much about me and would honestly take a weight off of my shoulders and help me find ways that actually work for me to cope with ND life on the spectrum. I really appreciate your content and the time you take to talk about your experience.
Anyone in the UK the right to choose path is the way to go I was left for months by the NHS after asking for a referal, just being sent form after form with no feedback on what was happening. I asked about the right to choose and was sent to Psychiatry-Uk within a week. I still had to fill out loads of forms wothout much prompted help or feedback but after being left alone for so long it was definetly a step in the right direction.
So I can say from experience not only is this a good video but a well informed and helpful one. Thank you
Never forget it's ok to be you
Thank-you.
I'm going to have to think about what you said here, and re-watch.
I am 29, I scored wayyy beyond average on those online tests, I am planning to get diagnosed in next few months. It started after going to some therapy sessions with my partner(she has depression, and is much better now after a year of therapy and medicines). I was trying very hard to understand how to support her and recently my therapist told us that I might be on autism spectrum as I seem to unable to understand in-direct communication and many more issues.
I then researched a LOT of what is autism just to make sure I am not autistic, then, oh well, the more I research, more quiz I took, the more I feel that. "yeaa..., that explained why I struggle so hard on everything".
Then I landed here searching on CZcams to see what others are experiencing, and well, seeing many autistic youtubers, the more I feel related. Your video are nice, educational and fun to see it from your viewpoint.
The close up of the t-rex hand đđ. That's one I catch myself doing often.
I love that you have so many videos of yourself. Visual examples are great and cool to look back on.
iâm undiagnosed but am very confident that iâm autistic. when i was a kid i was misdiagnosed with adhd, combined type since they were listening solely to my parents rather then taking in anything i said. not only that but my parents were misguided by someone they trusted who was the one who said i had adhd and made me take Ritalin even though i shouldnât have been taking it; that person was having a lot of people misdiagnosed with adhd actually and was giving ritalin to a lot of people who did not need it. that whole visit i was constantly telling the doctors and my parents that i didnât have adhd, but i didnât know what made me different. apparently after that visit my mom did some research on autism, read books and investigated on the internet. she realised that i showed far more traits for autism and started to understand that autism felt like me. i figured out i was autistic through a book as well just a year or two ago and now realise i was autistic my whole life. itâs quite nice to finally understand myself after always being confused on why i felt so different, and to finally be able to explain how my brain works to other people. however the process of getting diagnosed worries me a bit. i donât understand how iâm supposed to convince someone else that iâm autistic, nor do i understand some of the criteria that has to be met. but not being diagnosed is difficult. for example, my headphones are quite important to me. when i get overstimulated i use my headphones for music. they block out all the noise happening outside of them and i get my music which have boosted bass. but without a diagnosis some places refuse to let me wear them. figuring out what iâm going to do for work is also difficult. ik a good amount of jobs are going to overwhelm me and iâm not even sure what i want to do in the first place. recently i feel very misunderstood. my family understands, especially my mom, but iâve been having to explain to other people whatâs âgoing on with meâ. having to say possible autism makes things challenging since others have to treat me as though iâm not autistic. and while i can understand to a certain extent, it kinda makes me feel⌠alone, lost, and again very misunderstood. i donât really know what to do, but i hope one day iâll feel like i can get diagnosed without feeling judged. itâs not the end of the world if they decide iâm not autistic⌠but if iâm not, iâm right back to where i used to be. confused, unsure, and lost. since iâve found out iâve never been so at peace with myself, i finally understand me, iâm so much easier and kinder to myself, i honestly feel free. even recent research is able to explain the connection between being autistic and being trans. (yes ik not everyone whoâs autistic is trans and vice versa but it explains a lot for me.) iâll be myself no matter the results, but the thought of not being autistic makes me feel kind of disconnected from myself. thereâs so so so many things that autism has answered for me, and if áťm not⌠why am i so different? why do i do so many things that others donât struggle with, that autism has given me the answer for? anyways sorry for rambling haha, just somethings i realise iâve been subconsciously thinking about. ( i also took a lot of tests including the raads-r test and got reallllly high scores each time. the last time i took the raads test i believe i got the score of either 254 or 245 which was probably around 6 months to a year ago, i retook it today and got 228 since i have a bit of different view on wanting a relationship on a more âintimateâ level which i knew was going to bring my score down a little. 227 was the maximum score autistic people acquired in a seminal paper on raads-r.)
I absolutely love your videos! Thank you for making them :)
I'm in a weird phase at the moment where I have days and weeks where I feel like I'm probably autistic. And then suddenly I believe that it's all just in my head. I only fit a few autistic criteria and sometimes I think maybe I struggle because of completely different reasons. Or maybe I exaggerate and acutally what I experience is just "normal".
I've got an appointment for an assessment in a couple of weeks and I get more nervous by the minute - Because I'm not sure and because I sometimes feel like I'm just self sabotaging.
This is so helpful Iâve been thinking I was autistic for a few months (I have adhd as well) and I told my mom that I thought I might be autistic but she didnât believe me but now sheâs starting to believe me so Iâm getting an assessment this summer hopefullyđ
Edit: this is random but while I was typing This I was chewing on my stim necklace lol also for me I remember rocking a lot when I was younger I still rock and if some of you know rocking is I guess maybe a bit of an autism thing even though
âya know everyone can rock
Anyways I actually started taking quizzes to see if I was actually autistic because I watched a video about autism and I was like âomg thatâs meâ but then after I took the quiz I was like âwellâŚmaybe I shouldnât believe everything on a testâ anyways yeah I love your videos theyâre so helpful
Can you update us how it goes with the assesment?
@@turbothechicken3813 Mhm!
I get tested for autism tomorrow!! I am re-watching some of your videos to know what to bring tomorrow and this has been a big help!! I have suspected since American 8th grade, and it been 7 years of fighting with family members, medical professionals, and my own internal ableism that I am here now getting tested for tomorrow!! Thank you so much for this video, for it is helping me prepare for the final push tomorrow!! Here's hoping for the best!!
Thank you for this, definitely seeing a lot of other people worried about the same things I am, worrying that even doing a lot of research and feeling seen and validated by listening to you or other people who know they're on the spectrum, that we could still be wrong, or over thinking it in some way but also the biggest thing is, if that *were* the case, the mystery of, if I was wrong, why do I still feel so off, why can't I get my life together...
I would say a big barrier for me at the moment is actually having a recent ADHD diagnosis, and still a lot of this back and forth about overstimulation/sensory issues with ADHD or not.... or comparing differences of those with that of Autism.. It's very confusing. But at the very least, what I have started to do, even with me having a lot of bad days lately, is just accommodating myself anyways. No matter what I *think* I'm dealing with, the overstimulation that I notice, I will find different things to try and calm myself. And that I would not have done even a year ago honestly.
The worst part of this is now I need some social interactions to make my notes. The last 6 months I have been inside my shell, so I go days without seeing other human beings.
I watch all of these channels including yours, and they have all helped me gain insight into my own brain so thank yall â¤
I was diagnosed ASD in my fifties. Glad I finally had an explanation for my confusing life but still working out where I go from here. It's one thing finding out why I have struggled so much with friends, relationships and work/jobs but a diagnosis doesn't provide any solutions to these struggles. I waited a few years for a therapist from IAS but she only has a limited time with me. She drew up an autism "passport" which I can use to show authorities, employers, etc. to show them my struggles but with the general population not understanding our struggles it could hinder or help. On the plus side I can tell a prospective employer that I am autistic so they can cross me off their list if they feel they can't handle that, which will prevent me from joining a company and get fired yet again because I had a bad episode. When things get too much I just shut down and shut off from the world. That means I don't answer phones, emails, front door, etc. I keep the curtains closed and only the most persistent close family and friends will be able to get hold of me. A few times they have even called the police after not getting any response from me for a week or so. Employers don't put up with this, and it is usually something happening at work that sets me off. I've even had PIP and DWP refusing to deal with me face to face because they had put on their records that I was aggressive, even though I have never been aggressive to any of them nor any other organisation. I have only been aggressive in my distant past when I have been cornered physically by bullies, etc. I'm sure most people have had an aggressive moment or few in their past but I bet it doesn't reflect on their records without an ASD diagnosis. I never had a problem dealing face to face with DWP before my diagnosis. Anyway, that has now been sorted out thanks to interference from my therapist. On a positive side I now know that I should only look for certain kinds of work, and DWP no longer pressure me into taking courses and jobs that I wouldn't be able to stick with for very long. Anyway, thanks for your videos, they help me realise more and more of my ways are related to autism, and there are other people around with similar struggles (I wish I knew some around here), plus these things are normal for me and I shouldn't keep trying to be like, and force myself to fit in with, other people (a habit I'm finding very difficult to break - masking?). Keep up the good work, and keep up the good humour đ
There are so many times in your videos where you are calling out my exact feelings at the time I am having them. And with this being a static video that makes me feel really understood. Thank you for what you do. ^_^
This was such a nice video, thank you!
Thank you, this video was so helpful!
I just watched ALL of your videos. I experience soooooo many of the same things you do. I BELIEVE I'm ASD/ADHD. I'm torn on whether or not to go for the diagnosis though because of how much imposter syndrome I'm feeling. I'm terrified for others to think I'm lying bc I have had trauma before and no one believed me. So I have the CPTSD issues coming back. I don't know what to do! Gah!
Edit: I just bought every book with my last audible credits. đ I have a desperate need to keep learning about this.
"Don't worry, it's unlikely that you have autism", "Don't worry, you may be autistic but it isn't as bad as it sounds"
First one was an autism expert who ruled out autism because being bilingual can cause the same issues. The second one was a n adhd expert who discovered that my adhd looks more like an adhd asd combo. Both expected me to be scared of being autistic.
Also, I was accused of taking away resources from "real" autists by accommodating for my difficulties. (is there a fidget toy shortage I'm unaware of?)
This is entirely unrelated, but your shirt is so pretty! I love your content too đ
It feels like you made this video for me. I've never related more to anyone's videos than yours, specifically this one.
This video has been super helpful, thank you so much
SUCH a great video!!! Iâm on step 7, and I decided to write a series of blog posts that I can share with my family, and then anyone else I may want to share with. (What else was I going to do with the massive amount of info I collected?? đ) Iâm not looking for a diagnosis currently, but I am going to share my blog with my dr and hopefully get some help with nutrition and sleep at least. Thanks for your videos!!â¤
You're so cute!! I had this on while I was wandering off and snacking (sweet breakfast for dinner - don't judge đ ââ) and I had to run back over and comment when you said "your brain's not going anywhere." That got me good. And while my mind's going a mile a minute -- can't disagree. It's been fun to discover this channel as I'm in a new phase of the spiral of discovery on these topics. I've only heard a handful of entries so far, but I'm really enjoying how -- unlike with video essays and other more scripted content -- it just feels like a couple of friends are in the other room going off and being really animated about something that we've all experienced. Like I could wash dishes right now and pretend I'm lurking in a discord server for awesome autistic women. Keep it up!! Keep being you, and keep being adorable (if that's how you feel). Cheers!
I'm just starting the video and this is a complete side note, but that top is so pretty!
I just want to thank you so much for all your videos, but this one, especially. I'm 46, and that was the first time in my entire life I had heard anyone explain the exact verbatim internal dialog I've always had, and the exact same logic. There was a lot of anxious crying. All dobt cast aside. My world, came into a clarity. Thank you Thank you Thank you. Might I suggest a "So you just relized that your Autistic." And maybe some sort of callming, something. Today I got my consult for screening. I had no clue how the spectrum worked, thank you for being the red pill. I will be eternally greatful. I'll shut up now.
This is very helpful! Especially as someone whoâs about to get assessed as an adult female who scores midline like you, but Iâm pretty sure I am masking
Since you showed Yo Samdy Sam, Iâm going to recommend her book âSo You Think Youâre Autisticâ (Samantha Stein) if someone is looking to take notes on themselves. Itâs sort of a guided diary. Hope the plug is okay, I get no commission! :)
I do have an AuDHD diagnosis now, and Iâve seen it estimated that maybe 70% of people on the spectrum are both. This is worth noting, because as you pointed out, while there are no meds for autism, and perhaps shouldnât be, there are for ADHD, and that can make a big difference. Traits overlap so much too: is my noise sensitivity autism, ADHD or both? (Def part ADHD.)
Which leads me to the thing I would say to anyone looking at their traits and wondering about autism or something else: regardless of whether you fit a particular set of diagnostic criteria for an umbrella diagnosis...traits are valid. I suspect many traits that appear in multiple profiles or disorders do so because the underlying physiological roots (executive functioning issues, overactive amygdala/sympathetic nervous system, etc.) are similar in many cases. If I have traits that rise to the diagnostic threshold of impacting my life negatively, they are valid regardless of whether I ticked off enough categories in the DSM.
I had my moment of epiphany when I took the AQ a few years back. Itâs imprecise in many ways, and I liked the Aspie Quiz much better: both returned âyesâ scores, but the Aspie made me go, âI see what theyâre driving at here, and thatâs me.â But I supposed that I was Aspie since the DSM added it in the early 90s, and Iâve known I and my parents were neurodivergent since early adulthood, even though I didnât have that term.
BTW, lacking movies/video, still photos can still help. My old photo albums paint a pretty clear picture of a child who was different by 6 months of age. Rare eye contact. Looking at things not people. Mostly low affect. My favorite was a photo of a friendâs birthday party at age 6 or 7: everyone is looking at the photographer...except me. When I saw that, I actually recalled the photographer telling everyone to look at him, and me thinking âIâm not doing that.â (Yes, PDA!)
So glad you liked the book! Thanks for the plug đ
Iâve started to notice every single time I do T-Rex arms thing and I do it SO OFTEN. Like I used to think I didnât do it that much but I do it whenever I just stand or walk
Well, I was absolutely right about feeling like I'm putting on an act for society. Once I started to hear about autistic burnout I realized that's exactly how I was feeling. I described it as burnout for about a decade. So things got bad for me. So my need for alone time to recover from the demands of other people, which I now realize why I don't understand society and the wastefulness and the general soul crushing nature of just accepting how it is. Like I can't and never have and never will, unapologetically.
Iâm just starting the process of getting a diagnosis. The thing about learning all of the different traits is so on point. I donât put too much weight into the mental side of things, because itâs hard to know whether the weird mental things you do are just ordinary things that everyone does (lots of people repeat songs and quotes in their heads), or something different. The thing that got me was the unconscious things that I do which I found out were symptoms. The T-Rex arms, grinding my teeth, tongue thrust. It was pretty crazy to find out that these subconscious actions which Iâve done all my life are all signs of autism. It just makes the decision to go through with a diagnosis easier.
18:20 You mention how it was so obvious looking at yourself as a child during a sports/field day event. I would really appreciate hearing more about what you mean there. I donât know what, exactly, you mean, but I really relate. Trying to understand. Please expand on this! Thanks!
This so such a helpful video. Iâve been thinking that Iâm autistic for a few months now. I am officially diagnosed with adhd and have been since I was little. I initially just thought that I was feeling this way because adhd and autism overlap but knowing now that autistic women tend to mask more has got me thinking that Iâm probably autistic. I relate to a lot of autistic traits and iâm realizing that itâs not just adhd. Iâve taken a lot of autistic quizzes and Iâve been scoring high on all of them, I think iâve done pretty much all the quizzes on embrace autism. Anyway, Iâm going to continue doing research because I really do want to feel sure and confident, but thank you so much for this video. Youâre helping so many people đ
This got me to really consider getting a diagnosis so I googled it again for my country... and as it was the case 2 years ago, the resources in my country are almost entirely focused on autistic children and their parents, even more so with diagnosis (there might be stuff about supporting autistic adults but they have been diagnosed as children). But!! I did find that the university hospital will "soon" be offering assessment for adults. I'm tempted to email them to notify me when it is available đ I'm scared that might be a weird request though đ
Just something on the "using other people in your life as controls".... You can run into a lot of "but everyone's like that" from family units where autistic traits are totally normalised.
Unrelated, love the shirt!
Yay it's Sam
Your video on AuDHD had resolved my decade-long problem of "what the hell is wrong with me", I wish this comorbidity was more widely known.
Very true!! I think I mentioned that later on a some point. And then of course I'm sure there are many who don't want to share their explorations with anyone at all. There are stills lots of people in my life who don't know about my diagnosis yet.
Thank you sooo much, Sam! And thank you for the amazing work you do!
@@imautisticnowwhat Sorry I was probably distracted by a child mid comment, so I'm sure you did mention it. A lot of people don't want to know! They want to stick their heads in the ground and pretend that everything is fine and all these struggles are just what everyone deals with.
@@YoSamdySam Relatable đ
Yesss - it's such a shame that the people who could benefit the most from the information are often the most closed off to it.
I just learned about autistic shutdowns from this video. That is super helpful because I've been thinking about how rarely I have meltdowns and that's the main thing that has been contributing the part of my brain that says "you're not really autistic."
I have thought for a few years that I might be "mildly autistic" if that's a thing, but for reasons never really looked into it. But for some reason youtube started offering me videos about it, even though I had never looked for info (which is creepy now that I mention it), so I clicked. And oh my god, it's like I was being told my life. So I stopped this video in the middle and went over to Embrace Autism to take those two tests you reference. And I don't know if "mildly autistic" is a thing, but apparently it looks like I'm autistic af, lol! I got scored 162 on the Aspie and rated 100% probability of autism, and scored 172 on Raads-r, with the scale for "very strong evidence of autism" starting at 160. Oh, this explains soooo many things. Even some really quirky things I never suspected might be related.
I have been thinking more and more in the last year or so that Iâm autistic, and Iâve gone on a little bit of a deep dive lately (largely with your videos). Iâve heard masking mentioned A LOT, but I didnât feel like that bit applied to me.
So, once I watched this entire video, I went back to the online test section and took that masking test. As expected, I scored fairly low in the Compensation area, yet I still scored over 100 overall. This then made me take a step back and dig a little deeper into it.
Iâve come to the realization that I have all the social anxieties that lead people to mask, but I donât actually know how to mask. I donât do the studying part because Iâm too aware of my body and I donât want to stare at people. I also donât study body language or speech when watching/reading stuff because Iâm caught up in the enjoyment and imagination of whatever Iâm consuming.
So, Iâve got the awkwardness but not the compensation for it. Well, other than rehearsing a conversation ahead of time in my thoughts, but that only works for a planned conversation where I have something important to say.
Which, who knows, maybe I still mask in some ways but donât realize it yet. Your video, the test, and my self-reflection has made me more open to researching masking. Still donât think it really applies to me, but maybe Iâll learn something new.
I havenât taken the other online tests yet that you mentioned, but I believe the masking test is the third autism test Iâve taken online. Each time, Iâm barely in the autistic range-which I do think is where I fall, so itâs just affirming that.
Though, I didnât realize it was an autistic trait to spin in circles. Not sure if you mentioned that here or a different video. Not that I do that, but I have a sister with (severe) Down Syndrome and autism (the former being the most obvious). She spends all day every day spinning in circles as she listens to music. I had no idea that was actually the autistic side of her, and itâs kind of funny how much that blows my mind. Sheâs two years older than me, and I guess I just always assumed everything different about her was the Down Syndrome.
âŚThis is mostly me rambling on as I try to figure things out for myself, but your videos have been helpful. Itâs also made me really curious how non-autistic people view all this, as some of it seems normal to me while some of it just seems a little more⌠intense? A deeper reaction than I have. If that makes any sense. Not sure how to word this part. But Iâm excited to go watch that video with you and your husband as that sounds exactly like what Iâve been wishing for.
But, anyways, great video! Iâve been thinking more and more about getting tested for autism just for my own curiosity, but I thought the hard part was just making the appointment (and whatever the cost is for it). I didnât realize so much prep work was needed. Looks like Iâve got a lot to reflect on, write down, and research.
Love your channel I really like seeing you each day I learn so much and relate to so much you say
I had been suspecting for some 10 years that I could be on the spectrum but I kept my mask on and kept waving it off pretty much, then in June last year I was re-watching the Divergent trilogy and I just got this very strong, growing feeling that I should at least take some self tests online for autism. Said and done, I took several of those tests and they all came back very strongly suggesting Iâm autistic. For me it was a huge relief! I have since taken steps to accommodate for my sensory issues and all that stuff, and itâs making me managing daily life and errands so much better! When I told a friend about taking those tests, heâs formally diagnosed, his response was âI knew the first time we talkedâ and when I told my now boyfriend whoâs also formally diagnosed, his response was to congratulate me and send a neurodivergent meme and he said he had also known since the first time we talked đ They both knew before I did! My boyfriend is helping me a lot with unmasking and itâs such a relief to just be able to be myself!
I do intend on getting a formal diagnose as well, but itâs not easy and the waiting times are long if even getting a referral in the first place (especially at my age, Iâm 37 now and on permanent disability due to the effects of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, and EDSers are ironically enough often also on the autism spectrum)
Since realizing Iâm autistic, Iâm also like 99% sure my dad is as well.
For me, the realization from myself and the confirmation from my friend and boyfriend feels validating enough and is helping me a lot! The only reason for me to get officially diagnosed would be to hopefully get accommodations and aid that is only available with a formal diagnose. Take dental care for example, I have severe issues with dentists after trauma in my childhood and my fear is so strong itâs turned into pure hate and I canât even walk past a dental clinic without feeling awful. Thereâs no way in hell I could be in the same room as a dentist now unless Iâm under general anesthesia along with the sensory aspect of everything going on while at the dentist appointment, I just canât do it (just laughing gas doesnât work, I have tried) and seeing no one is taking that seriously, I just havenât been to dentist for over 15 years. Autism can give accommodations for dental treatment so you can be referred to the hospital dentist and also get dental treatment covered due to the issues we can have with taking care of our teeth, and I do have some issues there as brushing my teeth is something I struggle with due to sensory issues. I brush my teeth since it has to be done but I just canât do it for 2 minutes nor twice daily
I just took the two different quizzes and scored 8 on the short one and 143 on the longer one, oops
I finally got brave enough to ask my doctor about getting diagnosed at my last appointment. I was SO ready for her to dismiss my concerns, for her to tell me I "can't possibly be" autistic... but she was extremely supportive. Actually I feel like she knew already and was waiting for me to bring it up. Her reaction was very much "yep. I see that" lmao. I was relieved but haven't gone about getting a diagnosis yet, but she's been very helpful so far. I know I'm lucky in that regard but at 30 I have been wondering if it's worthwhile to seek out. This video (and your others!) has been very validating and so helpful. Thank you!
I was diagnosed at 31, in 2002, unexpectedly. It was a time of crisis for me, extended unemployment due to layoff combined with serious medical problems at the same time. The more stress youâre under, the more autistic traits/instincts assert themselves.
Other than for self-understanding, which is incredibly valuable, if you have autistic neurology, youâre subject to:
1. Meltdowns (most people are aware of these to some degree, theyâre most visible. Assuming you donât get violent or cause harm to others, these are fairly healthy to have at times, they allow the brain to dissipate overload)
2. Shutdowns: usually quiet. May go from a short period of time to (it seems) a fairly long period. Parts of your brain apparently go offline. Typically observers see you go quiet. You may become immobile, many different things, depends on person and context. Youâve run out of energy.
3. Autistic burnout (made sure to add autistic, as itâs notably more involved than any other form) this comes from extended demands exceeding capacity, possibly from emotional stress and/or combined with sensory overload. People are known to lose memories and/or skills, depends on the person. The truly scary thing is it can last indefinitely combined with not recovering lost skills and abilities. You really should look up the symptoms, which vary from person to person. A rather significant number of people end up getting diagnosed as a result of burnout.
Iâve experienced all of these, though compared to most I read and hear about, very rarely. It doesnât matter where on the spectrum you are, if youâre autistic, youâre subject to all of these. Your IQ is irrelevant.
I learned earlier this year there is one unexpected benefit, at least un the US: as long as you have proper evidence of it, it gives you the ability to acquire a National Park Service Access Pass, which is a lifetime pass, for free, as long as you have a medically-diagnosed permanent disability.
Hey, might as well make the best of it, and besides, itâs my understanding that getting out in nature helps with burnout. Most curious to me is they explicitly mention sensory disabilities, making me wonder the history of how that came about.
I already knew I wasn't a psychopath and I wouldn't even say that to an autistic person but that's how I was seen when I was really struggling with ADHD and obviously autism. Everyone would always judge me with the greatest possible level of hatred and negative assumptions. Then they would just say "you're totally normal and there's nothing wrong or different about you." If you're going to complain about me to the level the people around me have, obviously I am different. It just reminds me how terrible being normal is. Normal people abuse anyone that's different and then act like they themselves are the ones suffering and then write books about the ridiculous assumptions they make about anyone who is different rather than just asking about it.
I really struggle with all the adult stuff. I stuck in a stupid Fast Food job but I have problems with writing applications and job interviews. I don't understand what they want me to hear. I just want to do my work without getting interrupted or getting annoyed and then going home or much better doing home office. I want no customers on my job anymore neither at telephone. But getting these jobs is quite hard since the part of the county I'm living is full of tourism and gastronomy which both are in my opinion such horrible jobs. You're working all the time and the wage you get is soooo low. I don't want to sound mean but I want to make money of my job I have enough self respect to not doing these crop jobs. I know that my sense of justice is unreal so I don't want to interact with unfair things like crop jobs anymore. But I have so huge problems to do what people want me to to at a new work place or what I should say so I need a diagnosis to get a job I really need. I may be a woman but I'm really bad at masking. And I don't see why I should masking myself for being accepted. Just in rare cases I'm masking by shutting my mouth and looking at my phone until I leave the place.
Unfortunately I have no one from my childhood and no family around me since I was as delusional as my father. Thanks for nothing mother... And no I don't even have school reports since I was homeless for some years. I just didn't live at the streets because a friend and later my boyfriend took me in their flat
It seems like you have extensive insights into what you want in terms of work/life balance, have you potentially tried to feed some of those to ChatGPT to see what sort of work might suit you? It might seem like a fad, but I think it could help you evaluate with yourself and delimit some opportunities, and it could even help you out when writing applications. Other than that, if you're living in a tourist-heavy place, chances are that it's also very expensive, so you could consider moving somewhere where you could maybe get a little more bang for your buck.
@@SimplyConeh No it's not expensive living here. It's rather very cheap because it's also full of old people and young people are escaping this part. It still suffers from the separation of the country it had at the second world war and nothing is really happening here. (Thank god I was born after the reunion) It also has the worst health care. I unfortunately can't move away unless I paid my debt otherwise they would never give me an appartment.
I have a place where they can help me but I need to have a diagnosis. It's especially for people with ADHS, autism and physical and physical disabilities.
I loved Unmasking Autism! It was very eye opening and super informative. I loved how they talk about the intersection of being queer and having autism, as a queer and most likely autistic person myself.
I think gender non-conforming is part and parcel of autism. I donât consider myself queer but I am definitely not what I would call a girly girl. A person I knew as a girl and knew was on the spectrum I just recently saw after several years. He is now transgender.
Thank you for this. Iâm 58 and I had the autism epiphany recently after watching love on the spectrum. The start of your video describes exactly the things going through my mind.
Not sure if I will try for an official diagnosis as I am a Brit in Norway which may complicate things. But after taking some self-diagnosis tests, a few youâve mentioned, they all indicate Iâm on the spectrum so, pretty sure I am which is quite validating (even if my wife is dismissive).
I understand that self-diagnosis is valid and MUST BE valid because the formal diagnosis process is so convoluted, but I want the official diagnosis for personal reasons. Channels like yours help me figure out what the fuck I am.
love your style.
I'm glad you didn't edit that bit out! đ That was like me leaving a voicemail. đ
Thank you :3 i really needed to hear "youre not attention seeking" thank you so much
I got diagnosed 2 days ago and i sort of new my whole life. Im 17 right now.
This is hilarious because I already did this. I opened a word document and the dsm 5 and started putting traits/experiences in categories. It devolved into an elaborate timeline of my entire life XD. It feels like Iâm a detective putting together the pieces đ.
For the longest time I've always felt confused about who I was, it wasn't until Highschool that i started to get the feeling that I didn't think like everyone else, my desire to be normal and not someone with a sign everyone else except for me could see, why I felt like I made people uneasy and started to constantly smile because of that, why I never kept many friends, a couple years ago my brother was officially diagnosed and shortly after my uncle was as well, I initially started watching videos on what it was to be Autistic as a way to better understand them, but very quickly I started to see my experiences and for the first time in my life I felt like I wasn't this thing pretending to be human, I just took the self assessments the other day and both my aspie and my RAADS scores said that I am Autistic as well, and my family agrees with what the scores say, they had suspected it for a while actually, but thank you, I think my next step may be to the out the scores and get an official diagnosis, but if it wasn't for your videos i would still be here lost without knowing that other people share my experiences, thank you so much
My ability to make eye contact (with great effort, even on good days) is the first thing people like to throw at me if they don't want to accept my form of autism. Thanks for talking about that, too, because eye contact is my biggest masking tool on most days. đ
Eye contact is so complicated. I'm most likely to at least appear to do it if I'm zoned out and not really paying attention to the person at all, just off in my own world. If I try to focus on them at all, it gets hard fast, and if I really want to listen to what they're saying, I need to look away from people, up or sideways. The last really throws people. If I do the first, or to some degree the second, people apparently think a) I can make eye contact, and b) I must be listening to them. That's backwards on both counts.
Heck, my assessor, who gave me a AuDHD dx, noted in the report that I could make eye contact fine. I emailed back and said, "FYI, it's hard to tell with telehealth interviews. I looked at your face but not eyes the first few minutes, then I never even looked at your face again." On Zooms, I tend to watch my own thumbnail, largely to monitor my expression.
I'm so bad about watching my own thumbnail, but I don't think they can tell on video bc they don't know how your monitor is set up. I try looking at people's eyebrows instead of the eyes and most people will miss that you didn't actually look them in the eye.
I think I tend to unfocus my eyes a bit, and just get a vague image of the person Iâm talking to. No idea if I get away with it or if people notice.
Maybe thatâs why my dreams have these elaborately detailed environments, but the people in the dream (if any) are these shadowy figures just off camera.
@@jimwilliams3816 Yeah, like the face blindness carries over to dreams. And when people have told me they dream about me, they describe the same type of architecture-first perception with no faces on the people and it seems to be unsettling for them.
Brilliant video thanks. Just a heads up, exceptional individuals has quiz too. Yo Sandy sam has a book called so you think you're autistic a workbook for the confused person who's just trying to figure things out. Samantha stein. This is fab for gathering your examples in one place. Explains a lots of the terms and criterion too. Love it video thanks so much
thank you for this
Thanks!
Right on time
To get past the Cerberus, that is the GP receptionist I originally told them that I was having a lot of headaches (which wasn't a lie as I do get stress headaches, probably a remnant of when I used to get bad migraines as a kid). Then got to speak to the doctor and unveiled my true motive đđ
Thanks for the tests. As an Aspie I got 157 out of 200, in the Raad, I got 219 out of 240.
Hi! I'm Steven, I already get an official diagnosis from my psychiatrist, I'm officially medically autistic. But I have the imposter syndrome cause in my head it's like what if you do all of that research about autism (a lot of books and videos) and you just copy the thing that people do and then you get diagnosed but you fake the disability, and it's hard cause I want the support of my family, but when I say to my brother about the fact that I do all the research and that I feel and experience the same thing than people who have autism, he say that I should focusing on that subject and that I should not speaking about for socializing with other people, I'm just confused!
Thank you for reading and 'listening to me! That help to right it down and your videos help me understand more my situation! đ
Hi Steven, I suspect that I am autistic and I was wondering the exact same thing! I re-assure myself by remembering that I wouldn't break down crying all the time in school if I was faking as an adult.
When I first looked into autism my score on the CAT-Q was way higher. Iâve unmasked a lot though so now I donât score as high and it makes me happy to know that Iâm more myself now :)
Been exploring this idea for a bit, decided I needed to write it all out to see where I actually relate, and the things that maybe I don't quite realize or don't relate to at all. In the process of making this long document with as much information about autism I was re-watching videos that I had seen originally, this being one of them. 4:20 comes along, as I'm sitting here typing out long lists of signs, in young children and adults, things that can help, I have a category prepared for DSM-V and Theories of Autism. Makes me laugh and realize how much more I relate a week after seeing this originally. The amount of things that, at first, I was oh no I don't do that, then realized I do ALL THE TIME. Kind of hilarious how much of our lives we don't pay attention to just to have a moment of realization when someone else says it out loud
oh god 17:50 'were just anxious in this family' thats my mum any time i try to talk about an issue im having, it's always just put down as anxiety
2:10 you mention the other mental illness' and i can absokutely agree that the probability of being misunderstood even by myself is exactly this. I was in deep depressions on and off etc, my fiance however is fully trained as a nursery practitioner and she had to look for traits in her nursery to advise the child to be checked out
So the last 2 or 3 years im so much happier and thats when she noticed a lot of signs. I do the hand flappy too and dont even realise