Reneé Rapp OPENS Up On Traumatic Past: "I Was Missing For Seven Hours"
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- čas přidán 3. 06. 2024
- Today, actress and singer Reneé Rapp, sits down with me to share her incredible journey.
Reneé just released her debut album, Snow Angel. She is also known for her role as Leighton in the HBO Max Series The Sex Lives of College Girls and for playing the iconic Regina George in the Tony-nominated Mean Girls musical on Broadway.
In this interview, we will discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:12 Who Is Reneé Rapp?
02:07 Worrying About How Others Perceive You
04:32 The Scary Experience With Drew Barrymore’s Stalker
06:02 Preparing Yourself For Future Disappointment
08:30 On Worrying That “I Will Never Write A Good Song Again”
10:47 Managing The Critical Inner Voices
13:18 Not Being Able To Enjoy Your Success
17:01 On Stepping Away From The Sex Lives of College Girls
20:07 Expressing Feelings Through Songwriting
22:19 Resilience Is Needed When Pursuing Your Passion
26:22 The Harrowing Story Behind The Song ‘Snow Angel’
34:45 Red Flags In Friendships
41:06 How Did It Feel Sharing This Story With The World?
44:43 What Brings You Joy?
50:28 What Would You Say To 10-Year-Old Renee?
52:13 What Do You Need To Unlearn & What Do You Need To Learn?
54:43 On Struggling With An Eating Disorder
56:45 Navigating Sexuality & Labels
59:24 Reneé On Final Five
Episode Resources:
Reneé Rapp | / @reneerapp
Reneé Rapp | / reneerapp
Reneé Rapp | / reneerapp
Want to learn to coach like Jay Shetty? Discover how here: gtly.to/PMlHc6JZw
I hope you all enjoyed hearing Reneé’s story, and let me know what resonated with you! I’d like to invite you to join this community and subscribe to the channel. By hitting the 'Subscribe' button, you're not just becoming a subscriber - you're choosing to make a positive difference in your life.
Jay, what Renée's describing about her process can be described with clarity by Internal Family Systems 🙌
Yeah every time you put a new video, I get more and more life lessons from that. Thank you so much brother 💝
My daughter was drugged and raped. She's in max security in jail because a friend came to help but stabbed the person who drugged and raped her. The story was turned around which was easy to do for my daughter hoped it would go away if she let it go. Trying to make a long story short here.Yet it's a heart wrenching situation in many ways! I can't help wonder about our justice system! Or how many other girls will have to go through what my daughter and our family is going through. The guy who did this is free!
This is not a claim-to-fame post, but I taught her in 7th grade, and I can believe every word she's saying. She was truly a lovely and enjoyable girl back then, always respectful and always kind. And I'm so happy to see her living out her dream and receiving so much love and support in the comments. I pray it only continues to grow and get bigger and better for her, and she finds her footing even more!
Her 7th grade teacher taking the time to comment shows how truly special she is
this is such a beautiful comment oh my goodness
❤that is so cool
Seems like you're the mole on the case caught in 4k
This is such a lovely thing to read. It’s great to know Renee is just as amazing IRL.
the amount i relate to her as a woman with adhd, her talking so openly makes me feel so seen
me too! tbh i dont think i’ve seen someone with that big of a platform saying ND traits are okay and that there’s nothing wrong with you. as an autistic person i also felt very seen,
hell yes to this. I have had such similar experiences to her and also have ADHD its almost painful but beautiful that shes out here talking about this.
Does she talk more about her mental health in other interviews (and ADHD)?
i was so confused before i watched this when u said you feel seen and i completely understand what u mean after watching this❤🙏🏽
Truly. Most relatable celeb.
Yo, Renee, I feel you so hard on the feeling of wondering whether it’s better to exist in a state of chilling and hoping nothing horrific happens but being prepared if it does.
From experience: That anxiety is a protective trauma response. Don’t let it prevent you from taking risks to further your dreams or over time it can steal your joy. Challenge it; prove it wrong. Notice the fear but don’t allow it to prevent you from celebrating your wins.
Remember, worth is inherent. You’re worthy whether or not you’re number one. Whether good things or bad things happen to you. Whether you hide your light or shine it.
I’m so happy you’re taking good care of yourself and surrounding yourself with loving and supportive friends. It’s so rad to see you shining. Keep going!
She's so honest. When we're younger we do a LOT of external validation. Gets better with time. Keep "pushing" through.
this interviewer was so thoughtful and respectful. As a long-time Renee fan, the amount of warm tears I had throughout this podcast was ridiculous. He truly listened to everything she had and gave her such a comfortable atmosphere. He had lyrics prepared to chat over... thank you Renee for being so open about your anxiety and overall experiences, including the drugging... and thank you Jay for giving her the platform. much love to you both!
Every time Renee opens up more about her thoughts and feelings I feel more connected to her. She's so real and so awesome.
The way Jay transitioned to asking her about things that make her happy and comfortable right after she shared her trauma was such a smooth move. Subtle way to help her not get into a negative headspace.
I immediately felt a deep connection with her song Snow Angel. I'm so sad this happened to her. I had a similar experience where all my friends abandoned me and tried to keep me silent after. This is how rape culture works. At our most vulnerable the people we thought we could lean on end up questioning our experiences because no one wants to believe they could be friends with a rapist. It's easier if the victim is just "exaggerating" that way no one has to question their roles in it all.
Im so sorry that this happened to you and your friends turned out to be not real friends,also your point about grape culture reminded me of the movie "promising young woman" It is a great movie that is made by women
This happened to me too, people are awful
💯
I know I’m late, but I really hope you’re not friends with them anymore. Or they profusely apologized for being idiots. I still don’t know if I’d be friends with someone after that either though
i just found out about her being drugged and going missing a little less than a month ago and i sobbed. nobody should ever have to go through what happened to her. she’s so strong for writing and releasing a song about this experience. i love her with all my heart.
This is a masterclass on how to present your own journey without trying to explain it for everyone else. So proud of this generation and their emotional intelligence!!
Finally someone asking decent and not the same questions to Reneé.
real
Wow, I sobbed because I'd never seen anyone tell such a similar story to mine of being drugged while hanging with a group of new "friends" and not knowing what happened. The nurse at the hospital just told me I needed new friends. I wasn't tested for any drugs, but I only had one not very strong drink, so I know there's no other explanation. I think the nurse just thought I was wasted. I felt so incredibly seen because I feel like no one TRULY understands how scary something like that is until it happens to you.
Omg I'm so sorry for your experience. You deserved and deserve better! Hope you are in a better place now with MUCH better friends
i've listened to her tell the story behind snow angel a few times now, and every time it just makes me so sad for her and so furious that the people around her did not try harder to keep her safe. i hope writing snow angel brought her a lot of healing
Renee, as a 35 yr old late dx AuDHDer (autistic plus adhd) I see so much of my younger self in you. You beat yourself up internally because society has told us everywhere that we are the issue when we aren’t. You relating to others in distress isn’t bad it’s how us neurodivergents relate.
As an autistic person who has had the pleasure of great neurodivergent company, I have found that we have an innate sense of empathy that we often bestow upon others.
Autism and adhd aren’t the same thing. Also neurodivergent isn’t another term for autism/adhd
@@pfftxoxo1502 literally no one said they were the same thing, they are often comorbid and similar though, also yes autistic people and adhd people are categorized as neurodivergent. stop trying to correct people on things youre clearly clueless about, its embarrassing. 👋
@@-myharlequinnsapphicarch- also no one said that autism/adhd wasn't a type of neurodivergence. what it isn't is a synonym for those things. neurodivergent is an umbrella term for MANY disorders including epilepsy,parkinson's, tourette's etc but y'all have just made it another word for autism/adhd. and trust me i know plenty as a neurodivergent person with more than one diagnosis
@@pfftxoxo1502 I don't really get the argument you're trying to make?
Yes, ND is an umbrella term that *includes* Autism and ADHD - the commenter specified their "type" of ND, and then used ND as an all encompassing term - I don't understand the problem?
I could listen to this conversation go on for hours. Reneé is so insightful and seems to speak her mind with limited filtering, which makes it feel more like a conversation between friends and less of an interview. It’s nice not to hear an excessively media coached interview and just hear someone share their thoughts and experiences.
i’m so happy she’s so comfortable with opening up i love her and wish her everything good in life.
Thank you Renee for being so honest and expressing your struggles, because many can not talk about it and not acknowledging that they need to deal with these things. Thank you Jay for having her! I just want to tell you Renee, that this is not the end, but the beginning of your healing journey and I am here to support you as I have been for my clients with anxiety, depression, stress, and traumas. You can have a brand-new life just make a conscious decision you want it.
I’ve never felt more seen whenever Renee said I feel worthy and happy when people around me are happy.
i love renee rapp, genuinely the most beautiful, genuine person. i wish i discovered her sooner 🥺
Renee within this conversation truly described what it is like to be in the mind of someone that is anxious and has ADHD. It's everything all at once and days you can make sense of it and some days you can't. Showing people that part of you is extremely vulnerable but the way Renee is so open with that is truly beautiful. With my personal experiences, what I related to the most was we need to feel the big feelings and it's okay that they are big.
No disrespect but I really don’t know either of you. Just saw some random videos of Renee that led me here. Mad respect for how you handled the snow angel discussion. A lot of times interviewers overstep and interrupt. You’re clearly a pro.
I so deeply connect to her anxiety and how that definitely is a bit connected to how many adults at our young ages put a lot of pressure on how we can do better or improve. I grew up the same way and while my parents were very supportive, driving to every basketball, softball, etc game; I'd always be met with the question "what could you have done differently?" or critiques. I was so rarely met with a "good job" for anything, games, grades, heck cleaning my room lol. I expressed this in college before on how that really was detrimental, and while they've tried to get better at it, I was also given the "explanation" of they just aren't like that. It sucks as these things really stick with us into our adult years but I'm happy to see how much she pushes herself to go past those doubts, fears and anxiety. I am certainly still stuck in a pattern of putting my all into something and either burning out and giving up or just feeling like a failure if it isn't exactly what I pictured. Hearing all of this and seeing the impact she has made, helps me to know that I can still be working through that pattern and be successful in life, I don't have to give up my healing either.
Wow. This is so incredibly written and relatable too
Reneé, wow. I’m going to start every conversation like that with my son by asking “what did you do great?” Because damn. That resonated.
I saw her performance on SNL and thought she was super talented. I felt so bad listening to her harrowing experience and her long standing difficulties with anxiety. At the same time, like she said, she is exceptionally resilient. I sincerely hope she is seeing someone who is trained to provide trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy, if she doesn’t already. She appears to exhibit a lot of symptoms of anxiety and post traumatic stress. I wish her the very best. 🙏🏼
Renee is such a breath of fresh air. She’s really calming to listen to. I feel like many of us understand exactly what she’s saying. Love the album, it’s absolutely beautiful. 🥰
Snow Angel really hit me hard. It made me feel uncomfortable almost, I only listened to it once fully through. Until I saw this interview I didn’t understand why…it makes sense. I had a VERY similar experience and the chills this song and the emotions it bought up made me hurt. I hope in time, it’ll bring some comfort but bravo Renee for truly encapsulating that deep cold anger/sadness/betrayal. 💔
Listening to her story of getting drugged I felt so heavy! And now here I see that a lot of people felt that way.
It just blows my mind in indescribable ways.
I am a new fan of Renee but I fall more in love with her with every interview. She is one of the only humans that has verbalized the process of being aware that how you feel and what you know can be totally different things. As a person with anxiety and adhd, this makes me feel seen and less crazy.
After seeing the photos of her younger self on her Instagram, it makes it even harder hearing her story😭 I'm heartbroken she won't be in the next season much💔 I hope to see her in more things though that truly make her happy.
this was such a good interview; I love the way you created the space for her to feel heard, validated, and comfortable to speak her mind/truth ❤ Something she deserves to feel proud of, is how she openly discusses her vulnerabilities that she’s gone and is currently going through with so many people. It’s actually extremely comforting and validating to hear on our end, when many people don’t have others to get this raw and real with. she wears her heart on her sleeve, and her music beautifully epitomizes that part about her.
She’s so brave to share so much of herself
she is incredible! renee describing the way she sought connection and release from her breakup by simple friendship and partying is something i also have trauma from (and so many others im sure). I love how she said she wouldn't go back and change a thing because of the awareness she now has. soul connection friendships and community are some of the most valuable things in life. what a lovely, honest, and REAL person. renee, we love you for who you are! thank you for your vulnerability and rawness in this interview. It has benefited more people than you know, and I sincerely hope it was a release for you as well
When she said “I’m afraid to celebrate myself and then get slapped in the face”
Thank you so much Jay and Renee for this authentic and vulnerable conversation. It’s so refreshing to hear someone speak so transparently about how she thinks and feels, being honest about the difficult parts and at the same time very joyful! Thank you Renee for your beautiful energy and thank you Jay for making all these conversations happen!
Love Reneé so much, she's so honest and open about everything, makes me feel so happy to see her growing and doing what she loves, she's so new and is already one of my favorite artists of all time
I didn’t realise she was leaving SLOCG 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I found her through that show and I love it soooo much.
she's so special to me. Renee is only a year older than me, so i relate to sooo many things she says. I think it's so important to have these kinds of celebrities who are raw and genuine and don't try to be perfect or seem perfect all the time. Every person struggles with something and i really believe she is very well spoken and very honest, which is great. This was such an amazing conversation, thank you for having her! ❤
The comfort in the acceptance to be painfully human which I have gained from Reneé over the course of years I have supported her has not stopped growing in size. I love her and how she thinks and how she creates art, and on top of all, how she experiences life. This interview was nothing short of comforting and raw that has me feeling all sorts of warm on the inside. I love Reneé, I'm happy and proud that she thinks she's in a better place now and I'm so excited about everything that's to come with her career. She deserves all the good things.
Thank you for being the interviewer for this, Jay. This is the first time I've seen your podcast and a couple minutes in already has me thinking you were the best person for her to have all those conversations with. The respect and openness was not lost on me and I appreciate that. Will be following from now on, too, for sure.
Didnt know her before but she as a person just seems genuinely nice and i loved the podcast🙏🏼
Thank you so much for having Renee on the show! Having one of my favorite artists on my favorite podcast is awesome! It’s beautiful how Renee was able to open up and be honest about her life and journey with anxiety and an eating disorder. I relate in so many ways and as much as I don’t want anyone else to go through these things it’s refreshing to see someone so blunt and honest about these topics.
Reneé if you ever see this we LOVE you. I’ve loved your music for years and will always be a fan. You’re crushing it🫶🏾🩷
I am so proud of her for sharing everything I cannot wait to see her talk and sing and act more she is amazing
Reneè's conversation about resilience was so powerful.
I love her songs, been listening to them since the music came out. I have never seen an interview with her until now! Thank you!
Thank you for your vulnerable share Renee ❤
So thankful for this interview
such a good interview. love her so much!
thank you for this candid honest conversation held in a safe way ❤
incredible to see her come so far
Inspired by every minute of this podcast. I’m watching this on repeat and taking notes on every level. Thank you both for sharing this moment with us
I thoroughly enjoyed this interview😊.
I’ve loved Renee for years I’m so excited to listen to this!
Renee i thank you for beingg so open .many of her thoughts and feelings about herself . Is how much how i feel about myself helping people like me feel less alone.
seeing this interview is a thing filled my heart with so much joy. so much love and respect for Reneé and her art. I very rarely find myself able to relate so deeply to someone in the public eye, her honesty and vulnerability are so beautiful and appreciated.
An sincere conversation on the podcast! Keep up the great work Jay! I am so lucky to be following to make a positive difference in my life, preparing myself for future disappointments & red flags in the greatest and closest friendships! Changed my mood for the rest of September 2023 & last quarter of this year! 🎉😊
Wow. I’m a huge fan of Renee and this interview was amazing. So deep, insightful, but so goddamn respectful. Love ya Renee ❤ I love your honesty and this is so relatable as a just for my highschool aspiring songwriter with severe anxiety, your thoughts of “if I’m not here at __, I should just end it all” is all too accurate and relatable, I don’t know what else to say but keep going ❤ resilience is strength
“I’ll feel worthy in my life when the people around me are happy” TOO CLOSE TO HOME
watching this before i go to her concert is si amazing
I related and resonated with her so so much. I had to find an interview with her because I just felt I needed to understand her more. The shell you see on the outside is so not what is inside!! It’s so interesting. Really enjoyed this interview ! ❤
i feel so seen and comforted. this is one of the best interviews i have watched. this was so sincere and genuine on both sides. you created such an amazing and safe space for her to open up even for her being a very open person. thank you for doing this!!
I love Renee’s album snow Angel and it has given me the healing I wish I had in 2021 after my breakup from a long term relationship. Both of your interpretations of snow Angel the song made me feel so open to different interpretations. For some reason I felt sad while listening to the song and I wondered why and dug into that. The part about anxiety - I felt very seen ❤. Thank you for this episode. It was truly amazing!!
I adore Reneé’s music and openness. So grateful that she is willing to open up and be vulnerable with all of us. 😍
Gyad daymn I did not expect so many things in this to be so so relatable. The thing about articulation and anxiety in articulating what I want to communicate even when it sounds fluent was so kind of comforting to know I’m not alone along with a lot of other stuff. Ofc I don’t want people to struggle tho there was just something comforting. And so much other stuff in this was very relatable and her honesty and vulnerability im really grateful for which sounds cheesy and I did not expect to get that from this or like it be impactful but yeah
Seems like the Jay was struggling thru this one. He was meeting a version of himself he has not met, through her brutal honesty in a very real way she was his teacher his counselor. She doesn’t evade herself with tactics and for that matter even wisdom. She faces the beast no matter how it looks.. She removes all protective gear and jumps in…. I think that’s why he struggled to connect with her. My hope is she connected with him❤
wow she's so brave to talk about it all with like no tear in her eye, love u Renee for sharing
She's so real... Gosh
Jay I had never heard of you prior to watching this interview but I subscribed due to just how wonderful you were during this. You were the right combination of thoughtful - you asked questions that provoked Renee to think deeply about aspects of herself, but you did it in a way that was calm, considerate, and inoffensive. You also provided a space that felt safe to voice her story that she hadn't voiced to the world before. I'm a big fan of Renee's and have been following her since her early Regina George days. Her music reaches a part of me that I can't describe and as a fellow queer woman who deals with a lot of the same struggles she does, she inspires me to keep working towards my dreams. Basically, this interview really touched me and thank you for that
Very real answers especially for someone in the spotlight! The media could use more of this honesty
one of the best interviews i've watched in a while, the questions were so well thought and Reneé was so honest and real with her answers. I could have listened to hours on end of them
I loveeeee her 🩷 Didn’t think it was possible to love her more!!!
i'm so glad i found this. i relate to reneé so much
This interview felt like a hug to my soul. Reneé and Jay, thank you for this! ❤️🩹
What a very insightful young person. She has wisdom and awareness usually only time and maturity bring.
I relate so much to the way Reneé speaks about how she makes friends. Thank you Reneé for being you. Raw and honest.
I have never heard someone explain the thoughts that I have as relatable and clearly as she did in this interview. Beating yourself is exhausting and I didn't realize that other people can think and feel in similar ways to me. Even talking about your pink place. I just....I related to your words in many ways. Thank you for being open and sharing @reneerapp
The space that Jay provides for people its the reason they get so confortable sharing and talking the most deepest things
I’ve never had someone explain what it’s like to be in a situation like that in a way that resonated with me. What a strong ass woman❤
definitely going through a similar terrifying experience right now and this made me feel less alone so thank you
This made me fall in love with her, and I don't have the slightest idea what kind of music she makes. :D
Excited to look into her catalog, since I feel very much drawn to genuine storytelling personas. 😊
I love this podcast seriously ❤
First
i’m here because i heard snow angel and it hit me so hard! it’s an amazing song
She is an amazing human being and looking forward to her growth throughout her career❤
Thank you for your honesty Renne
Thank i renee for sharing all this with us
I’ve always loved the raw emotion that comes out in Snow Angel and now hearing about the context for it makes it even more meaningful. I wish nothing but the best for Reneé
i love reneé so much ❤️
Happy birthday jay !🎉🎂 enjoy your day ! it’s my daughter’s birthday wow 😍🤗 I ❤ your work , keep going 👏🏽🙏🏻
this was an amazing eye opening moment.
Shes the best person ever so sweet!
I had a sense when it first came out that’s exactly what it was about because something extremely similar happened to me. Thank you for this, I feel more connected to Renee than I already did. She’s a light ❤
ONE OF MY FAVOURITES! ❤
i feel for her and im glad shes able to open up now
i love her sm she's so real 💛
goood, i love her!! there were so many things i can relate on another level, i'd just love to have a coffee and talk with her. love your work und wish you all the best, reneè
Lots of people will relate. She’s very young. Jay is a legend!
YOU ARE A POWERFUL CONNETOR JAY!
proud of u lil angel 🤍
My goodness jay this whole time I thought I was a subscriber to you and here I wasn’t.
😮I’m ashamed of myself. I have always loved your message jay and what you represent ;you really changed my life. Without ever meeting me. That’s wild. And I’m truly and have been since the first time I saw you talking to someone that it’s what I wants to do and I’m actually looking into your course I can’t do it right now because I’m actually starting a new job in alcohol and addiction treatment and I’m really excited so wish me luck it’s my dream job but I’m definitely really interested in therapy and different types of therapy and I sing and I dance and you can see on my actual CZcams channel I have some of my music on there actually if anybody’s interested him lol but just wanna say how much of a fan I am of you and your wife and the stuff that you guys are doing is truly life-changing and I’m so glad that you started this movement truly Jay you really did huge fan. Thank you for letting me visit driver now lol sorry about the lateness
Loved this!!
Renee is so relatable. Renee is me.
I’m new to hearing about Renee. I appreciate the authenticity and I also relate sadly to the story.
When she said “I want revenge and revenge, for me, is talking about it” I felt that. Sometimes that’s all we can do, but talking about it can help other survivors not feel alone. Talking about it keeps the story alive when all they want is for you to stay quiet. Talk about it, when you’re ready. Talk about it. 42:35