Five Stars - SNL
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- čas přidán 21. 01. 2017
- An Uber driver (Bobby Moynihan) and his passenger (Aziz Ansari) try to get a five-star rating.
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Me: "Hello"
Driver: "Hi"
Me: "......................"
Driver: "......................"
Me: "......................"
Driver: "We arrived at the destination"
Me: "Thank you"
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
As it should be.
No cap😭
Like it should be. Why some people force awkward small talk is something I will never understand
Best ever whether driving or riding
Nuff said
What kind of psycho willingly sits in the middle seat?
camera angles amigo
the one who wants 4.0 rating
i thought you wrote "middle east" muslim muslim muslim
The kind that gets car sick - it helps to stare right ahead. Also - what Mango Loco said.
Better camera angle for the skit
This skit went from a 3.9 to a 5 quick.
petros wanted revenge for his mint getting rejected
thats why he ran over david crashed into him
Rookie score. 4.7. 0 flop.
And from 5 to 0 really quick
So true!!
Thats cuz yer gay
“You should touch him” LOST IT AT THAT POINT
When he said, "What is you religion," I sharted.
same
M Loftin same
I lost it too and ended the sketch there, to be continued later. I'm laughing sooo hard.
It almost sounded like a perverted batmans voice, "YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIM"
I was lost at the music
I am an Uber driver and that is the first thing they ask " how long have you been driving for uber ?" couldn't stop laughing 😂
Tell us, how can we as a passenger get 5 stars?
To get a five star rating as a passenger All you need to do is say hi and shut the f##k up
Kostas. k. I do!! I think the only 4 star rating i got was from someone who didn’t like that I didn’t talk.
Kostas. k. Lmao the truest comment on CZcams
I always ask that?
...something original... "So, how long have you been driving for Uber?" Hahahaha
Dixon Adair Get ask that a lot as well... lol
Dixon Adair yeah lmao we all heard it lmao go fuck yourself
Jake Smith It is customary to include some of the highlights of a video clip in the comments section. So you go fuck yourself.
Dixon Adair every uber ride ever
Jackie Perez Yep! Pretty much :)
"oh they're nice and moist"
"i spilled soup.."
LMAO THIS GOT ME
Yeah everybody else saw the video too
@@bobobingus3155 - I wanted to see the same thing. Hate when people repeat stuff like we don’t know happened. Or didn’t watch the video. Lol
i thought they were teeth at first
@@bobobingus3155 imagine getting upset over someone else's enjoyment of something.
@@Poe-007 what kind of moronic take is that? He's saying that for the people that watched the video and laughed at the same shit, it's called looking for validation. "Ah yes, let me repeat this extract from the video for the cavemen that didn't watch it but are somehow in the comments section"
"3.9? Well, I did hit that kid"
That is terrifyingly accurate
WHY IS THAT ACCURATE FOR YOU??
@@deztheday7194 They're joking. Damn,relax,you're killing the vibe.
@@christofferjenzen78 No it happens I’m Belarus lol jk
@@nikolai6489 I'm from Finland and we say "Gotta kill a few kids to make an omelet." Our omelets are not great.
@@christofferjenzen78 Aw
Well that took a Nosedive.
Timothy Yambao NICE
Timothy Yambao VERY NICE
Timothy Yambao GOOD ONEEEEE
I see what you did there...
AHAHAHA I feel oddly proud I got that
I give out 5 stars like Christmas and found out I got 4.9 for passenger ratings. Someone was a douche.
Must not have tipped the driver.
Mine is 4.4 and I hand out 5's too. WTF? They must know I'm a Trump supporter.
No, it's because your getting a cheap fare & stiffing the drivers on the gratuity.
And it could have been you since you might have deserved a lower rating. Btw don't rate like it's candy, you'll end up with a 4.9 crappy driver.
4.9 its better than 5 stars, 5 its only when you sign in to UBER, drivers rush to pick up 4.9 if you are 4.6 or under it's danger zone,
“You can do this Petros”
Hits Aziz Ansari with car and drives off
Yeah we also watched the damn video we don’t need you to recap
@@bobobingus3155 we get it you watched the video shut the fuck up
@@bobobingus3155 - lol. Love your humor man.. I be wanting to say the same thing to people.
Ya, seen it. Thanks tho.
Thanks for the spoilers
"I should touch him"
*hits him with the car*
😂
Wasn't this an episode of Black Mirror?
Except in that episode future people actually rated *people* and not their services
***** no they mentioned "San Junipero" ..the ratings episode was "Nosedive"
They said "this is like that episode of Black Mirror" (paraphrasing)
Selhani
www.imdb.com/title/tt5497778/
Those fuckin melted mints had me dying lmao
Brandon Tuttle I thought they were teeth at first
after Aziz says " Ooo nice and moist" you can hear Moynihan say " I spilled soup" lmao
A young man and his hot date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. "I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl. "Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually an Uber driver, and the fare back to town is $25..."
Somehow his Russian accent turned into a great Hispanic accent, cool.
Petros is actually a Greek name ;)
thought it was italian
Thought it was hospanic
I thought Petros was Greek...
you said great?
is no one gonna mention "mouth help"? that literally had me weak
When?
Nice and moist
Indeed🤣🤣🤣
I DO like Russian Trance Music...
Amanda Vaughan hi kellyane Conway
Amanda Vaughan Da da da da da da da da da da da da da
Kat Kattington That's my favorite song!!
Kat Kattington With the bears!!!
yep, it's dope
San Junipero was the best Black Mirror episode and it deserves a fucking oscar! 💖
sphinx onyx I preferred White Christmas.
Fifteen Million Merits and Playtest messed me up way more than TV shows usually do, so I'd say those are my favorites.
Playtest was the best one to me, San Junipero comes second
sphinx onyx yes it does!
sphinx onyx it really was. Love how they portrayed the 80's. kinda slow at parts though. Dozed in and out. Lol
this is so good! 😂😂😂
Hey bro big fan
What's up checkmark
this reminds me of when andy and dwight were constantly paying back each other's favors
You dare mention the office in a sketch featuring the creator of such hits as Entertainment7twenty and rent-a-swag
@@masterofmadness7713 John-ralphio answers the chat
Who the hell is Dwight
This is a beautiful comedic look at how people try so hard to conform to what they think other people want them to be. I even prefer it to the Black Mirror episode it's clearly inspired by, which I found to be a bit too long and heavy-handed. Great work SNL!
Please say this is a troll comment because jesus christ
William Seamon glad to know it's a beautiful comedic look.
wait, ,what makes you say that?
WTF is wrong with you? you prefer a 4 minute long piece of shit by SNL to Black Mirror? FUK U
+Wiliam Seamon
(Orignal post) - Great way to put it!
The funniest thing is, "San Juinpero" was indeed the best episode of Black Mirror.
So true! I loved that episode 😭
Nah, shut up and dance was the best.
My personal Favorite was either San Junipero or Nosedive, and as for the one i think was the Best (but not very Feel Good) was White Christmas.
@@alecrichards8574 whatt uss callister or hang the dj is the best by far
@@esmestiel yeah i think maybe USS Callister could actually be my favorite. i dunno, they're all so good in their own way hard to pick a favorite lol. i think it depends on my mood
"Oh man am I a racist to think he like Russian music"
Driver: "I do love these Russian beats"
I too watched the video
Thank god you commented that, I didn't actually watch the video and needed to know what it was.
As an Uber/Lyft driver with over 650 five star ratings, I’ve gotta say that this skit is Uber hilarious. Can’t count how many times I’ve wondered what I can do within reason to get a 5 star rating...but the truth is that most people don’t rate at all...they’re more interested in getting where they’re going. Great skit, SNL!
Yep just be punctual and polite, keep a clean vehicle and take me safely to my destination. I don't care about listening to the radio or even having a conversation. I bring my phone and an ear bud because I'm generally listening to CZcams while I'm en route.
I've taken an Uber a few times over the years, and I have to admit, I never rated the drivers, and I never even thought to look to see what my rating is. I just treat it like a taxi service; point A to point B delivery. I do tip though.
This is the funniest non-political snl skit I've seen in a while
Matt Schumacher Neal Brennan co-wrote it. His 3 mics on Netflix is amazing (and non-political).
YES!!!, nice to see an snl skit that is not pushing a left political agenda, just make funny skits like they used to.
Papyrus and Goodbye Mr Bunting
@@jicez6649 SNL has always been political.
@@jicez6649 , And SNL has always been leftist as well. You know... like normal, intelligent, evolved people.
This is why I stick to Lyft. [Sponsored Comment]
Lyft: Because sweaty mints are gross
Can you pick me up? I'm at the Springfield Metro station front entrance and need to go home about 2 miles away.
Sure, let me just hop in my Tardis and I will be right there
MultiFandom GarbagePerson Fuck off
No.
I love when he’s fumbling for the mints for a few minutes so realistic
The rattling through the arm rest was gold
Nosedive is a nightmare. & San Junipero is a beautiful dream.
True. But Nosedive is quite optimistic and freeing too, for Lacie.
White Christmas is the best imo
nosedive isn’t that bad. and i wish san junipero is in real life
thegossipswan009 fuck u
nosedive is a nightmare?? have u SEEN white bear?! 😂
I still think its weird that they rate customers on a 5 star scale. It should be more like, are they criminals or not.
yoshimickster Did they pee, vomit, or defecate in your car?
yoshimickster how dumb do you have to be to find that weird? Stupid fuck
Hahaha! [sees whimsical comment. Doesn't agree with the point made in the joke. Insults person] Nice one, Jake
yoshimickster b
yoshimickster I'm a very polite criminal and I tip very well.
The writing for this sketch was impeccable. Best thing I've seen from SNL in a little bit.
"PEDRO WTF"
- I am ROLLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMOA!
2:21 wtf is that? "i spilled soup" in the background
ilya Kozlov dead
Petros responding to Aziz referring to the mints as "nice and moist"
Ik Like Wtf
I didn't even catch that. Lol
Good lord, Koslov. You must be able to hear subliminal messages in songs. I didn't hear that at all
"Ootsy bootsie and tootsie"
LOL! 😁
Want 5 stars? give him a cash tip
"I'm a 5 star man!"
- Dennis Reynolds
Thought those mints looked like teeth dafuq
Montana Dinga thats what russian mints are made of
@@JDMHaze 😆
😂😂
@@JDMHaze As a Russian I can confirm this is true.
Corn, he spilled soup in it. Like he said he did bub
fucking love Aziz Ansari
1:32 I'm Indian and this still made me laugh out loud
Massages shoulders.....
“Ootsie bootsie! And footsie!”
😂
I didn't even know riders got ratings until I saw this skit XD
They do, yikes!👀👀👀
Me either 😂😔
as an uber driver this spoke volumes to me. everything about it was spot on. all the ass kissing and dicking sucking is all true. I fucking hate my job
kigozi muhammad You don't have a "job"
so are you saying I have a 'hobby'?
I would love for you to say that to his face. Keep hiding behind your screen.
then why do it? this is a people person job. if you don't like it stop it. I also driver for uber and lyft and I love this job
Don't you drive people to their destination and get paid for it? That's a job.
"and.... Oopsie bootsie." 😆😦😆
Here are the tootsies
" What religion are you?" Good job Petros 😂
"I do like Russian trance music" hah
The end had me dying
When Aziz got hit and said Woah then I really started dying
Me too
“I should touch him”. Damn
San Junipero really was the best episode of black mirror.
I love how their doing a foot massage In the middle of traffic
Bobby is an excellent comedian, and actor.
Watching during quarantine, thinking what the drivers must be doing now
The good thing about taxis is that you don't have to worry about any of this. It's not that you can't have a conversation with your taxi driver, it's that neither side feels obligated to.
i have not seen this scene in the Nosedive episode of Black Mirror
The lighting at 3:41 resembles San Junipero
Those “mints” almost made me lose it. 🤢🤢🤢
Petros is a Greek name not Russian.
I should know, my name is Petros
aekara1987 Pjotr would've worked better
Isn't Cephus Greek for Peter?
They don't, but Russian parents would name their child Pyotr (russian equivalent of Peter)
Guess what? This didnt happen in Greece, it was in America.
Also, fuck you and your Horse Gifts
*NEVER FORGET*
aekara1987
Armenians use the name Petros as well, and we love Russian Trance. The accent he is trying to use is also not far off from being Armenian.
Also Armenians and Greeks are the only languages to use the original Greek form of the name Petros.
This was actually heartwarming before 4:00
i’m just hearing tom haverford complaining
Oh my god, as an Asian guy, I've had drivers change the station to Indian music and it makes me so uncomfortable. Like, just because I'm a Desi I'm supposed to like this shit, lol
This makes me want to call a cab!😂 😂 😂
I love Aziz's comedy. Dude is hilarious in everything he does🤣
I laughed way too hard at the end
San junipero give me so much hope. Love that episode with all my heart.
Most drivers don't give their passengers 5 stars unless they tip. Mystery solved.
Bob Sacamano I always gave 5 star ratings to my passengers unless they were less than normal or some such.
That's not true, I've gotten 5 stars when i didn't tip. I just explained that I'm poor and can't even afford Uber in the first place, but have no other options to get where i need to be.
@emaikalone I was wondering why they dont rate me. I stay quiet. I know I don't t smell/wear a lot of perfume. I will talk if they engage me I smile and say thank you and I never make them wait. I considered what I would want if I was a driver..i never tipped less than 20%! What am I doing wrong??
Lol I want a good rating even though I only use uber/Lyft on vacation or if my car is in a shop
In India we get out of the car only after getting 5 stars! 😂
Bob Sacamano Are you stupid, didn’t your parents ever teach you not to talk out of your asshole. Jeez laweeze As soon as the ride ends, we have no choice but to rate you right there and then. Geniuses
lol coming from me being an Uber driver. This is definitely hilarious.
01:32 "a doot dee doot dee". Best part lol
Five years later and I still think about how great this sketch was
There are no Russian people named Petros
Yeah, sounds Greek to me. Ivan or Oleg would be OK.
R. Pneumo u r right! it is greek! im guessing the driver is greek confused for russian :)
Vanessa B - Yeah! Americans often get "exotic" names all mixed up. I'm from Poland, and in many movies Polish characters speak Russian. It's funny ;)
+R.Pneumo Baltic characters usually also turn out very Russian =P In reality we're not even Slavic, just shared the soviet era with them nearly 30 years back. But yeah, that's Americans.
My neighbors are from Moscow and they have a son named Petros. They named him that just to spite you.
Omg they brought up San Junipero...dead. Best episode ever.
"How long have you been an uber driver?" -every fare ever.
As a Rideshare driver I can confirm this is an exact scenario that happens often
I died when he hit Aziz with the car. 'Petros what the fuck!' Hilarious
something non confrontational...WHAT RELIGION ARE U?! 😂😂😂
dude san junipero was my fav too
*THE SHOULDER MASSAGE LMFAO*
That ending made up for the whole video! lol
Best SNL show ! The whole night was on fire.
This is the first SNL skit that actually made me laugh in a long time. Nice!
Something pleasant and non confrontational. "What religion are you?" 😂
Ha! That ending lol
OMG I was gonna comment how this is like Black Mirror IM DYING
This was amazing.
I've watched it many times and I still laugh
SNL makes people laugh! Love it.
I needed that laugh before work!!!!! Love this one 🤣🤣
When me opened the mints I GAGGED
"I'll tip you on the app" xD
Omg 😂😂😂. All of Aziz’s skits have been really good.
So realistic
aziz ansari has a pretty normal foot
That’s odd for you to notice😂
san junipero was definitely poppin but i love black museum, and uss callister
Olivia Eyes yes my favourite two episodes as well!!
By far one of the best skits
the ending was the best part
"Oopsie bootsie..and tootsie!"
Probably one of my favorite skits 🤣🤣🤣
The mints! 🤣
This was like this when I worked for uber lmao
Love, love, love, the surprise endings
The editing of the mental dialogue in sync them acting is on point!
I was waiting for the extremely hilarious part.... and you delivered 😂😂😂