AUTISM AND ANXIETY|Purple Ella
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- čas přidán 30. 07. 2024
- Autism and anxiety. How it affects me and some tips for managing anxiety. More below.
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A little bit about me:
Hi I'm Purple Ella and my family is an autism family with three out of five of us on the autistic spectrum. So life can be a challenge but also a lot of fun.
Helpful links
The National Autistic Society - autism.org.uk
Practical anxiety has paralyzed me more than anything and kept me from accomplishing anything.
do the opposite of what your anxiety is telling you to do
I feel anxious every day of my life. My mother doesnt seem to understand it. Like when I get home from work she wants to talk to me, but I need to go to my room and just be alone so I can recover. Its amazing that you have kids - I would never be able to handle that! I dont even know how to have a relationship :(
krissy
Me too. I even get anxious being around my own family most of the times (sisters, aunts, uncles, grandma...), although I’ve known them for all my life and do like/ love them.
And it’s the same thing for me coming home from a day of work, or to be honest, even just having been outside the house for a little while I need that alone time afterwards. So if there is someone at home saying hi to myself or even wanting to talk to me once I get home it feels like a massive and almost violent intrusion into my inner world and I just can’t deal with it.
It’s frustrating though a lot of times as I can be a rather social aspie (definitely ambiverted) so at the same time I sometimes do crave these lively interactions but am mostly just not capable of it cause it is too much.
Insightful indeed. I overanalyze ALL social interactions. I re-live the experiences, remembering where my feet were pointing, how many cowlicks did I have in those 2 seconds before I started speaking, how loudly was I speaking, what did my facial expressions look like, how was my breathing, did I seem interested enough, did I seem interesting enough, they just looked at my lips...did I have something in my teeth, am I doing this social thing correctly....the list goes on.
Even though I have much better control over my practical anxiety, I still have the internal dialogue questioning things. I've learned to meditate and to channel my thoughts to positive scenarios instead of the what-ifs of the negative scenarios. Regaining power slowly, but surely.
I have to say, though, that my anxiety of crowds and social parties is still alive and well. I avoid people like the plague. I always feel I have to pretend to want to be with others and engage in their empty conversations blah blah blah. Was recently invited to go to a group trip to the beach and flat out declined. I'd rather be reading or rafting than acting out a script I don't even understand.
I save my thespian talents and displays for only the most special of occasions.
Yes, that's how it is for me. I'd much prefer to socialise with a small amount of my good friends.
@Stuffnsuch I totally do that also! It is too late to apologize but still beat myself up for it.
Finally. I found someone that’s like me. I’ve been living with ADHD diagnosis but I’ve always felt like it only explains some of my issues but not all. I’m going to get tested for Autism and ADHD. Thank you Ella. I’m feeling sad but happy and optimistic that I can finally figure out the emotional rollarcoater that is my life.
I've got autism aswell. Anxiety is a horrible feeling that just overwhelms you. Its there every day and you've just got to fight it. One day at a time ❤
I've got anxiety. My great grandmother just died. That was the worst feeling for me. I dont have any great grandparents left.☹ But I know how to control it now. I'm still pretty sad though.
I get the strange feel of anxiety for no reason sometimes which is wierd.🤔
Honestly almost everything you say struck a cord with me. I have had anxiety, depression, and have been diagnosed with ultra rapid cycling bipolar disorder and then years later B.P.D.. I have sensory issues with many harsh loud sounds and also sometimes how people breathe or chew loudly. I am always lowgrade anxious. I thought everyone kind of wore a mask with different people. I just don't know if I am on the autism spectrum but the more of your videos I watch the more I think I am.. but I don't know how to be sure because I trained myself to be mostly functional.
Aaahh, thank you for this! Hard relate on your H&S anxiety - that's a great term for it. You described my anxiety spirals very well :)
I can sooo relate! TY for sharing your thoughts & feelings!
Your internal dialogues are so accurate. I think it’s part of my literal thinking and wanting proof for everything, and my need for certainty. Thanks for the tips.
This was sooo helpful! I have all of those anxiety types you mentioned, now I've found someone who's going through what I'm going through I can use your advice to help :) You don't know how much I needed that video👍👍👍
Oh my goodness... so so helpful! I've felt so alone all my life. Like I was crazy for being anxious about things others around me never even seemed to think about. Or if they did, they certainly hid it a lot better. I'm still undiagnosed, but my doc and counselor are strongly encouraging me to peruse a diagnosis. Right now I'm extremely ill, in a huge part from ignoring my body and how depleted I was getting trying to behave "normal" 24-7, so getting diagnosed hasn't been a huge priority, but your videos make me cry with relief... THANK YOU THANK YOU!!
You're welcome Ashley :-)
Great video. Thank you Ms. Ella.
This explains what I go through everytime I'm in a social situation. I overanalyze the whole thing whilst I'm there, then I spend the rest of the day/week thinking about the interaction, and what I done wrong or what they are thinking of me and if I said the wrong thing or thinking about what they were thinking. I haven't been diagnosed but I so relate to this video! Thanks for sharing.
💜💜💜💜💜
_Thank you so so so so so much_
_your channel is just_ *_SO_* _lovely and can finally feel like I actually relate to someone!_ 💜💜💜💜💜
You're the loveliest person ever.
Thank you for being on CZcams 🌸💕🌸
just caught up with this years later, its very helpful like your more recent videos, so thanks again
thank you so very very much for these strategies.
Thank you, it's good to know I'm not alone as I be fight with this more then I care to share. 💔
You're terrific Ella.
I often feel anxious but don't know why. I think I always just feel like something going to go wrong.
I agree! You've just described... me.
Recently I tried to cross a road. I was feeling really weak, my legs giving up on me. This was after a day in class, lots of social interaction. While I was there, in class, I was holding up just fine. But as soon as I left the building, I felt like a diabetic without sugar, no energy. I walked into a shop and tried to talk to the saleswoman, but my voice was slow. I apologised for that. I told her that I wasn't feeling myself. And she could see that there was something wrong with me as I was holding myself upright by leening against her desk, and supporting my weight with my hand, as I could not trust my legs to hold me. They were shaking.
I walked into a restaurant and tried to order something to shore up my streangth. But nothing on their menu seemed attractive to me, I had no apetite. Or maybe, I was unable to make a decision.
I entered a shoe shop, and the situation repeated itself. Lots of shoes on display, none of them atracted my attention, I didn't even stop by any of them to take a closer look, I didn't try on a single pair. My mind was elsewhere. I was analysing what the teacher said, and what I said. And than he said, and I said. Over, and over again.
And than I had to cross the road. And I thought to myself, if the green light for pedestrians is short, and me being in a state I'm in, I might not make it across. If the light for the cars turns green, and I'm still in the middle of the road, will I get run over? But if that happens, who will bring the kids back home?
This state lasted for about 3 days. All the time thinking about that class. I fed the kids and did all the things I had to do, I drove them home, but I wasn't myself.
On day 3, I tried to order a meal for myself. I was in a hurry, I wanted to ask how long will it take them to prepare this. Instead, I asked for the price. The price was right there, written right in front of my eyes, I didn't need to ask for it. I didn't want to ask for it. I wanted to ask for the time. But instead this came out of my mouth. My brain and my mouth, not in sync with each other. Probably because I was still thinking about my interactions with people in that class, three days before. That's long lasting impact.
I wrote an email to the teacher, explaining that probably I have autism. (My kids have it for sure, they were diagnosed with it. I was not. I only took an online test, that said that I have it. Another online test told me that I don't have it. So I'm not sure about myself. But I'm just like my kids. Or my kids, are just like me. My little copies. I probably have it.)
The teacher replied. He took his sweet time... The reply came a few days later. From his reply, I could see that he is not angry with me. And only than, my mind settled down. I stopped feeling so anxious, worried that by speaking my mind, I ruined yet another friendship.
After his reply, I was able to order food again. And I bought the shoes I needed. I was back!
I am exactly the same.Thanks for sharing
Hi Ella, thank you so much for making this video! I'm just coming to realize that I might be on the spectrum myself and identified strongly with pretty much everything you described about your own experience. It felt super validating.
This is so helpful! Thank you!
This is very relatable. I love your videos.
This is amazing. I hanker after setting up several computers in one room and just letting them run cinebench all day. i.e. cubes that form a complete rendered image sprouting up everywhere.
I don't know if I have autism but I do have anxiety. OMG she is totally what I am going through.
My brain works exactly the same way. I LOVE the Think Like a Vulcan idea (I grew up as a Trekkie, lol). I am absolutely going to try this tip from now on!
I know the feeling of things are getting wrong, also in contact with a person.I have fear of talk in front of many people.
If I know someone can cook better I can’t cook, I’m sure it’ll taste terrible. I don’t like cooking for more than one person.
Im anxious in human masses. Here I use noise cancelling headphones and listen to music.
I don’t eat in public. I have an acupressure ball, that pain helps to get a bit more calm.
Spock is Great, maybe it helps to use the logic. I like Star Trek.
I try always to be prepared for worst case.
Im anxious at work and other social situations, i don’t want to say say something stupid or wrong. I don’t want to talk too much or too little.
In a real emergency I also have asedative. But I try many things to avoid taking one. Watching tv, playing on my iPad, listen to calm music, concentrate on my breath etc.
Very helpful video!
really understandable, normally I put on 'automatic' subtitles, but your English is so clear and your worduse so down to earth I can follow everything without.(I am Dutch) I really like this 'daily life examples. It helped me understand why I become so tired so quick.
This is enormously helpful to me. I have nearly the exact same worries all the time, but didn't think I had anxiety because I don't have panic attacks. A psychologist told me that, in fact. I clearly need a new psychologist!
u are an amazing lady, and u give me so much hope. my son is 4 1/2 yrs old and is on the higher end of the spectrum. thankyou!!!!
Shaunalea 82 thank you for saying such a lovely thing. That is why I'm doing what I do.
I find this very helpful and intesterting and easy listen to
lol I’m the same way. It’s like you are telling my story
I have similar feelings and experuences
Yeah. I have anxiety and I had a therapist to come and have video calls to me. Because of choronavirus i didn't meet her face to face. Lots of things are happening to me during these times.
This was a really interesting video. I think I definitely have low level health and safety anxiety. I'm not a big fan of rides any way though!
Hi PE. Have found your videos v useful, as I feel very like you in many ways. The thoughts about dying I have had since a child, I'm now 61. That's a lot of years worrying!!! Could you share a bit more about your driving problems as I get in such a state worrying about parking, getting stuck and not being able to manoeuvre in a built up situation. I hate to drive anywhere I dont know, but I have to drive for work.
I got some musician noise cancelling ear buds which are great, still hear but takes out the louder sharper distracting noise, coloured lens glasses, routine, and a bouncy footed ball I use at home to self soothe like a yoga ball but has feet so I don’t topple off. Looks like a cows udder that makes me amused so win win. Bullet diary a must, planning so important and play euchre one of my passions....and duvet womb time when it gets too much..managing the anxiety is priority totally agree.
That’s exactly how I feel I haven’t been to the doctors and gotten diagnosed for the same reason I have social anxiety and I feel they won’t listen to me . I get drained just by having having a conversation with a stranger even with ppl I’ve known my entire life. Also I’m already 30 yrs old and still have difficulty looking at ppl in their eyes. Touching and hugging and music at stores drains me and gives me high anxiety.
I have all this too.
Yep. Practical anxiety, been there a lot of times, got the t shirt. Used to be worse, but still now. When my medication is altered it could return as bad as before. The logic too, I do that a lot. What if, what if. Yes, I've discussed this many times with the medical community.
I'm sorry you experience this too, glad medication helps.
Wow, very emotional for me to hear similar experiences! i'm diagnosed at 37 y. Still grieving i guess (1 year later). Thanks for the helpful Tips!!! you should change the title to: Autism an anxiety explanation and tips👊😉👍
MrSharp thanks, I’m not clear on how best to optimise my vids tbh. So that’s really helpful.
Parking is my anxiety too. If I can avoid parallel parking I will
I totally relate to all those types of anxiety and haven't found anything that really helps yet. I don't think logical thinking would help me because I'm very good at "but...what if..." 😅 Maybe some other suggestions would help.
Parking spots stress me out... but the problem is it's parking at work and I can't just turn around and go home. i've been going into work almost an hour early so I have a better chance of a parking spot, but some days I get one of the last spots. I'm always panicking on the way to work and stressing out whenever there's a red light or school bus or snow plow... I'm not a morning person and I don't think I can get up any earlier than I do. I don't see a solution to that stress. (hopefully the impending doom... will this kill me? one I can do something about).
Wow! Growing up and having anxiety going to a amusement park. I couldn’t do moving rides.
As a attraction engineer I inspecting rides but never going on them. I am talking years.
I do not think I have autism but have a son who does have it. The Apple does not fall from the tree.
I have anxiety sooooo bad ever since I can remember. I was put on Ritalin, Adderall & other crap for ADHD age only about 5yrs old, things got way worse...
I've been diagnosed with so many different things. Currently I'm only ADHD, Anxiety... My anxiety has been so bad for me, I've had suicide attempts many times cuz of anxiety 😔
I have Autism & Anxiety x
I was also taking clonazepam daily. .Then I was feeling really calm..but after discontinuing I am feeling anxious every time.
You are exactly like me with Anxiety,and the health and safety anxiety. Iam also severely sensitive to Lights,Sound,and I use a weighted blanket in bed it helps me feel safe and more grounded. I am more sensitive to Stimuli than most people are. I have meltdowns so quickly that I just cannot function at all ,I also notice that I cannot have alot of people around me. I have Social anxiety ,I just cannot commit to meeting up with people because I cannot promise that I will be feeling well. I have to take Clonazepam and Lorazepam and gabapentin every single day and night thats how bad my meltdowns are. I get sick alot and I wish everyday that I could function the way normal people do. Also I cannot handle it when people are asking me over and over and over to make a decision when I can't function😱😭🥺. I wish I could just hide in my bed everyday and feel safe,that way I can control things until I feel well again. I also have severe insomnia that is so bad and makes me not be able to think properly.,thats another reason why I have to take a heavy sedative to force my body to shut down. I have lost connections with my own mother ,grandfather,my Daughter,I also dread seeing my Psychiatrist because she can't stand people that have autism and she screams and yells at me and makes me feel like a dummy. And since covid19 she is doing calls over the phone and she asks me if Iam alone and if my fiancee is listening because she wants me to have no proof that she is treating me bad. She has Narccacistic behavior and all of her patients used to come out of her office shaking crying with a nervous breakdown. My fiancee noticed she acts like a bitch and is very rude to me,that was when I made sure I had him with me so I could feel safe.
I feel like I am generally anxious all the time also. I don't even notice it unless it gets really bad. I hate taking addictive medicine so I avoid taking it unless I am feeling like I am about to go to the hospital.
Great video. I am undiagnosed but my it makes a lot of connections for me. Alas. I am anxious about routines because of past experience of struggling to find things and tendency to end up being screamed at or having a meltdown or a lot of pressure, both now with my children and husband and in the past, in the past we thought I might be just dyspraxic (have developmental coordination disorder). . I do seem to have executive functioning problems as well. And for me, politically, the vestiges of "fascism" and ultra conservatism, and spiritual (or anti spiritual!) intolerance of others and difference, the last vestiges of nasty authoritarianism in otherwise nice people: it's not that I really think that of everybody but it's how I feel and really have had a tendency to think about thinks, partly it gave me some wriggle room for things that I found difficult without feeling too bad or disappearing into my head, anger and "chilled out" attitude kept me on the ground, being that hippy. But I also analyse where I really fit on that spectrum, whether my ideas on that work and have integrity and if people think I'm mad, evil or offensive, is that fair, what sort of person I am. So a similar pattern to what you said about social anxiety especially and practical anxiety, which I do also experience, big time. Very well expressed. Your eloquent happy calm explanations seems very charming, stimulating, reassuring and healthy for me.
I was diagnosed with dyspraxia as a child, and have since found out I'm actually autistic. Thank you for your lovely comment.
Purple Ella, I am also autistic too! 😊 But it is high functioning, and I feel like I am the exactly same way with my autistic life compared to u! 😂
I needed med for mine it was always at 90 to 100 percent anxiety, lexapro is working well.
I hate driving to places where I’ve never been.
Hi Ella, computer games are repetitive so that might be why they help you with anxiety. I'm not ASD as you know but have anxiety I also have Hydrochephalus so have some sensory issues around noise and the music of candy crush would drive me nuts. I play / have played lots of other match 3 games though so if you need any help or suggestions for alternatives let me knoe. You definitely do not have to play different games though. If candy crush rocks your world enjoy.😃😃
I have anxiety but haven't been diagnosed but I feel like I have social anxiety, when I am in social situations I am worried I am saying the right things, am I being judged etc, I come across shy, I am delayed in my milestones but only for diagnosed with learning difficulties :(, I never used to be like this I used to be so confident then as I've gotten older I've got very anxious :(
My brain works in the same way.
thank you for this videeo, my sister may have Autism . she is 7.
Thanks for commenting, I hope your sister gets the right support.
I'm uncertain whether it is valid or not, but I read an article that stated benzo's are not as effective for anxiety in those with autism. I personally didn't get anywhere near the amount of calmness I expected with this group of medication. This included higher doses and potent benzo's.
Interesting, I'll certainly do some research around that, thank you.
I have realy bad anxiety.
I worriy about ever thing
My brain never whichs off
I have horrible Anxiety and I’m on the ASD
I have meltdowns
I get woring all the time
I have autism and anxiety my anxiety is that I can't go to school
Omg everthing you say...is me everthing but people dont beleive me
Its like a wighted blankt
I was also taking clonazepam daily. .Then I was feeling really calm..but after discontinuing I am feeling anxious every time.