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Autistic Man Shares Workplace Ableism Experience.
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Ever experience Ableism at Work or School 🏫? What is your story?
I applied for a teaching job and I’m epileptic and have Ehlers Danlos syndrome and the principal didn’t want to hire me at first because of it then called me back and said I could have the job but didn’t want me to tell the other teachers that I had seizures. I didn’t take the job.
I told my employer that I was having a really hard time with their tracking system for taking notes on interaction with clients because I have severe ADHD. They responded, "no, that's just an excuse"
But it really isn’t an excuse.
@@jakestakeonautism9005 Exactly. My manager at the time was a jerk
@@itsADHDforME Do you still deal with this same manager?
@@jakestakeonautism9005 nah, that was like 10 years ago when I was working IT. I'm a teacher now.
@@itsADHDforME nice
Disability or not, why should anyone have to explain themselves for pacing? I'm sick of all the controlfreakery in this world. You shouldn't need a diagnosis to be allowed behave differently to everyone else. The expectation for everyone else to do everything in a certain way is the actual disorder.
Thank you!
A few years ago when I was at a small community college my English 101 professor told the entire class that if we have a disability/chronic illness we shouldn't be enrolled in college. I've had many other incidents of professors in upper level uni classes targeting ND students and purposely doing things to confuse, inconvenience, or otherwise belittle them. I often regret that I never reported these professors out of fear of burning bridges within my field. I hope one day I'm in a position where I can make a positive impact and help students that have dealt with similar incidents.
You will be in that position where you make positive impacts on people’s lives. And I’m sure that those professors will get what is coming to them because what they were doing is unacceptable.
Wheelchair user here🙋♀️
It was when they told me it takes me longer to get in and out for breaks and to go to the toilet compared to everyone else. So it means I'm having extra break time because I'm away from my desk longer
The psychologist I needed to visit for my official diagnosis basically said to me "You are basically a one legged person mentally. You will never be able to walk like a normal person. Getting therapie will be like getting prosthetics that will help you at least being able to walk"
Getting therapy is not like any of that.
@@jakestakeonautism9005my therapist still doesn’t understand the ableism I experience even tho he said multiple other of his clients apparently described the same “discrimination”, he just tells me that it’s all based on my view of myself and the world which just isn’t true because ableism is REAL
I'm not yet formally diagnosed with autism, but I am diagnosed with BPD. I find myself happier with people who don't know what it is because those that have heard of it often buy into the stigma that we're all abusive, acting out on purpose, not to be believed, etc.
The most overtly ableist thing was being in high school and burnt-out, and told by a teacher who was trying to be encouraging, "Well I think you can do it if you just focus. Don't let your issues get in the way." When they were getting in the way, and I just needed a bit of a break.
I had an employer tell me during a performance review meeting, something so hurtful and disrespectful. And these were her exact words” what happens when you graduate with your degree and you can’t do the job properly”. And this was referring to my degree in early childhood education, and it hurt hearing her say something like that trying to convince me to veer off of the path I so wanted to be on. I found it so disrespectful that someone with a higher position of power would tell me their employee that that wasn’t the right path for me. A few days later, she fired me.And after this happened, I still have a hard time finding a job because of how hurtful her words were.💔
What did she fire you for? And don’t listen to her!! She is just an asshole and probably doesn’t even deserve you. Just take what you learned from the experience and apply it when going to other job interviews, or working your next job. You can do it!!
@@jakestakeonautism9005 she fired me because of my autism and my “ lack of experience” and thanks for the encouragement I’m still trying to work on getting the courage and confidence to get out in the work force again. I’ve been working with kids since high school (6 years) had a summer job working at an elementary school for there summer program. And was in about 3 internships during my time in collage and had a summer job working at a at home daycare/ preschool. And worked at a homeless shelter for their child care devision for about 2 years.I’m hoping to get a job as a preschool teacher. By the end of my college career.
@@jakestakeonautism9005she fired me for multiple reasons like being on my phone providing music during play time , not “ interacting with the kids and forming relationships with them” which was not true I make it my mission to interact and form connections with the children in my care. I found it really frustrating when my boss had me sigh a document that I would only use my phone for emergencies which to me is insane because if I didn’t have my phone I couldn’t make a decision to act on that emergency which made things worse because I had nothing to communicate with.As for creating relationships I was very good at it but my boss unfortunately didn’t understand how I made relationships because. It was an overall awful experience.
@@jakestakeonautism9005she fired me for countless reasons like being on my phone all because I was providing music for the kids during play time. Another reason she fired me was she thought I could do my job properly even when I told her my experience was working with children 0-4 years of age not working with kids much older than my preferred age group. She also fired me for not turning in a total of three routines wich in my opinion is to much and I was taking college classes while I was working this job so it felt impossible to compete this task she was asking me to do. And over all she was emotionally and mentally abusive towards me. She would make me go hours without a bathroom break if I was doing a shift alone and made me work in extreme heat with no air conditioning to the point of me being overwhelmed and dehydrated.
I had multiple teachers tell me I needed to work through my asthma because one of them had a cousin who outgrew it after a lot of exercise… yeah no thanks. I literally had a note saying I was allowed to take more/longer rest breaks and they straight up told me I shouldn’t be taking breaks at all
One time, one of my ex coworkers told me this “the only reason why everyone is being so nice to you is because your autistic, and everyone is always abusing my kindness” i felt discriminated when he said that smh
What did you tell him after that?
@@jakestakeonautism9005 i told him that actually hurt and he decided to still be rude about it.
I had a boss tell me that my autism was not an excuse to not be able to lift heavy things. I also have Russell Silver Syndrome. It was like lifting two Saint Bernards at the same time over and over and my entire body hurt for two weeks afterwards and I quit shortly afterwards.
What is Russel Silver Syndrome?
@@jakestakeonautism9005 genetic growth disorder. It’s rare look it up
I believe I’ve actually seen someone like this back when I was in school, for some reason he had an issue with getting stronger and would be sore for a long time apparently
I dont drive due to my autism. After working for my company for three years, and taking the bus daily, my store manager saw me get off the bus to start my shift one morning. She asked me in front of many people if my car was broken, and I told her that I dont drive. She then proceeded to say, "Wow, but you are so responsible, on time, and almost never call in sick. I would never have expected that from someone who rides a bus." I was mortified at her black and white thinking. Shame!
Wasn’t to me but to another kid. “Don’t we all have adhd nowadays” and another one was (in a special needs class) “ugh I’m not your babysitter” the kid had fallen asleep-
As a neurodivergent person, people always ask me “Stop being so dramatic!” And “OCD is not neurodivergence!”. They don’t even know the definition of what being neurodivergent means that’s the funny thing. They are trying to tell me that thoughts repeating in my head over and over again (mental compulsions) until I break down and start having a panic attack is normal? They need to go get some education because that is definitely not a normal reaction. The funny thing is these are the same people that say “Wrist check!” And “Let me scan your barcode!” To me in class, because I am emo. My biggest pride is when people say that to me, showing them my wrists and seeing their face when they realize I never have done that before. I genuinely feel bad for anyone who actually does that and has to be constantly reminded of that however, it’s terrible. Anyways, that’s probably the most ableist thing I have experienced.. besides being called the R-word one too many times.
Who calls you the R-word?
@@jakestakeonautism9005 Random people at school in the hallways. Honestly I tend to ignore them but it’s still rude to be calling someone that especially if you don’t even know them.
@@Oct0_X3 Did you tell any of your teachers?
@@jakestakeonautism9005 My school usually doesn’t do anything to actually punish them or make them learn that doing and saying that. I think it would just make it worse for me.
I'm autistic and one of my old teachers (or as we thought) didn't believe i was autistic because i didn't "act" like i was autistic and "was just overreacting." If youre someone, or you care for someone like me, you'll know that theirs levels of autism, adhd, etc. I have "level one" or high functioning autism. Its really awful when someone, whos supposed to help you, hurts you... because they don't believe you have a condition, that you're diagnosed with. Like, not self diagnosed, by an actual psychiatrist.
I have Autism also. I am afraid all we can do is laugh it off.
The restaurant I worked at’s owner was yelling swear words at me on the phone for… following a higher up’s instructions? Yeah. Then he talked about dropping my hours to 0 behind my back. I quit before that could happen, and to this day I’m looking for a new job. Hopefully nothing worse will happen again
I was called crippled by 5 different teachers in one day 😭
A bus driver kinda said something bad about a friend of mine and i said "well if hes r*t&rd3d then i must be paralysed but im walking ya twat" and then my teacher said "layton your 11 not 21 , i think i can hand the bus driver" my teacher lived near me so sometime we saw eachover on the same bus
"you were...WALKING!? WALKING IN A PATTERN!? MIGHTY SUSPICIOUS, LOCK HIM UP!!"
It was snowy and a blizzard out and I take the bus, 🚌 I was working in a call center selling newspapers. As everyone was leaving I asked of anyone was going my way, when my boss blurts WE DONT HAND OUT MONEY AND WE DONT GIVE RIDES and I was like a. How are those two related? And b. Have you never read Dagwood comic? Have you never heard of a work carpool? I left that job after two weeks.
Serious simple question: tint / glasses manufacturer?
They’re transitional lenses.
Nothing wrong with pacing. I also pace. I have never been told anything like that before, that's out of line
This is nothing at all compared to the ableism I experienced.
How the hell were they supposed to know?
You never thought it because it's not true
I also have autism, but really it's not that hard to adapt yourself. And I don't mean masking every single aspect of yourself. I mean not doing things like pacing and stimming in public spaces.
I do stuff like that exclusively at home and never in public. You should be aware it looks really weird to others and you will get judged for it. You can demand all of society changes their attitude, but it's just much easier to change your own behaviour.
NT's also may want to do things like pick their nose or what have you but refrain from it in a professional context. We should do the same when it comes to things like stimming and pacing back and forth. Just be mindful and in control of your body!
I'm happy that it's easy for you to control your stims, but it's not like that for everyone, especially when they're stress stims.
Also, stimming is a healthy coping behavior. What you're recommending here is holding everything in until you're in a space where nobody is looking. In many environments it's just not possible on demand, and can result in a meltdown (which is less easily controlled).
I used to think like you, that I need to accomodate the NTs in my life, but here's the thing - they're nowhere as uncomfortable as me in most situations. They don't hear the stuff I do, and when they do, it doesn't bother them. Neither do smells, textures, tastes... I live a huge chunk of my life in constant discomfort, and I'm not going to stop myself from dealing with the resulting stress in a healthy way just so they don't have to feel the same way I constantly do for a couple minutes.
Picking your nose in public is not the same thing as walking and pacing in public. Also, just because you can do something, Doesn't mean every ND can. Him pacing is not harming anyone and conflating your experience with is Ableism.
@@rnopes21 I had more difficulty with it as a child. Learned to adapt later on, but it wasn't a breeze or really all that easy. I honestly can not read your mind, so I can't know how reasonable it is to ask the same from you. Just like I have no idea if 'my red' is 'your red' so to speak. I must admit my phone is a very good distraction during waits. Maybe I would have more trouble with not pacing if that technology didn't exist.
What I am saying is that if you can adapt, and can do so without too much of a hassle, then I recommend you to try it. For me it's not as much conforming to society as it is conforming to me looking at myself from a 3rd person perspective. I don't want to cringe when watching a video of myself.
Do with it as you will. Obviously I am not your boss and you don't have to listen to me. Just be aware that it can have negative social consequences and decide for yourself how to weigh the pro's and cons. That's all.
"Oh no muh mean ableist boss told me not to pace around 😰😰"
Grow a pair dude