Why The Narcissist Wants You To Save Them From The New Supply
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- čas přidán 8. 09. 2024
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Why The Narcissist Wants You To Save Them From The New Supply
#narcologyunscripted #narcissist
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LIBRA Welcome to The Seal Team!! We are so excited that you have joined us today dear Libra! Looking forward to getting to know you on the site and seeing you on the next Live Chat with Dave on Monday at 3pm MT. You’re going to love being part of our wonderful family 🤗🤗❤️❤️
Luckily mine left me for porn so perfection wont get boring hopefully as I just got happy for first time after 10 weeks NC.. stay strong survivors... jokes on them in the end.. I promise you will understand this when you start to heal!!
Holy crap! My narc did the same thing! The moment I told her I didn't want to be friends she went back to her ex fiance and begged for him back after a narc injury. She said she treated him horribly 😂. So you mean to tell me it's a lie? Or a best the truth and she's going to abuse him even more?! Oh man I'm so happy! I got lucky!!!
This man just described my whole relationship with the narc I married , 7 months narc free and life is getting better and better!!!!
Lovieto Congratulations on being 7 months Narc Free! Well done! So happy to hear that you found Dave’s video to be validating of your experience with the Narcissist. Blessings for your brand new life!! 🙏🏼💜💜
Compete with the new supply or be jealous of them is what they want from us....
How can we be jealous of the person who took our trash out....BYE....BYE...BYE
lol...what about our love for them?
Exactly😂😂😂
The new supply are dumpster divers🤮🤮 sleeping with people already in relationships and thinking they're the prize🤣🤣
@@bflores3944 EXACTLY😂😂
💪💪💪💪
I am not jealous of the new supply, I feel bad for the new supply
Me too!! The new supply is another hapless victim and will soon be discarded or destroyed mentally and physically. I’ve seen this with my own eyes in the new wife of my ex Narcopath husband. She is suffering so much poor girl 😔
You, know, It's ironic. There probably was a day back then, when you were the new supply. And someone else was probably jealous of you. And look at you now. And, sometimes the new supply is totally unaware. Unless they are willing members of a harem garage.
Me too I feel so sorry for the next woman in line 🇮🇪🇮🇪. It’s totally twisted personality disorder that can never be satisfied, why cus The Narcs want to be right all the time doesn’t matter if they’re doing wrong . That’s how messed up they are . Only God can save them from themselves 🙏🏿
they think we are jealous and envy them. it cute.
if anything, I wish them all the best.
freedom! \^0^/ lol
@@star3006 they have no idea what's coming :(
Don’t bite. Let them go. Grown adults have relationships not jealousy based chess matches. Once you are over 18 it is time to let high school go.
Goldilocks, the Narc I know still plays junior high. Ridiculous!
Exactly 💯 😂 my ex wife asked me in the end of our marriage, do you know how to play chess?
The HURT is IMMENSE: They sense your Recovery and Sabotage you
That's why deleting everything and acting like they don't exist is the best and ONLY thing that can be done!
That's true, and it is really awful, just like you described it to be. Until we find ways to shut the door off for good, like on the reverse situation, like they never existed.
I totally agree with you! If you block them, they will manipulate flying monkeys into telling you how happy they are with the new supply and to crush your feelings/get you to break the no contact rule. Sick and evil!But you have to stay strong, NC and keep on living your (soon) happy life. Mr/Mrs A is the way. 💪
GIOVANNA PANDOLFO So true! There’s a Dutch saying; they are like old chewing gum underneath your shoe. Yesterday’s flavour, old, stiff and difficult to get rid of 🤣
InnerAdornment 😁 And you keep scratching and dragging them all over the floor and in every corner. Then you will keep on walking, living your life. And after a while, when you’ve forgotten all about them, you will look behind you and there they are. Stuck on your sole (not your soul). 😂😂
They made the wrong choice. Let them live with it. Better things are waiting for you!
Amen!! 🙏🏼💕💕💕
Needed to read that today! Thank you!
amen Lisa amen
Offcourse lol! Grass is never greener on other side. Just let them be together until it’s over. I’m remaining zero contact for life! So far it’s been 3 years no contact. My choice
The bottom line is this.
There are NO BEASTS IN HEAVEN. It would not be heaven if they were there. It would be another Planet Earth rerun. They are going in the lake of fire. It won't be nice where they go. They know what they are. Stay away from them, but feel sorry for their eternity of suffering. Because those who do evil will do evil again. Remember that!
I would never save the narracist again! I am soooo over them
He will turn up with crocodile tears
I chased my ex narc for almost 2 years through the controlling shit the cheating the lies and he was definitely good at lovebombing but I discarded him first and blocked him and moved away yep won't ruin my life anymore ever again! Feel bad for that new supply she's really in for it...
tyra riley : I like that phrase
Same
Never again, deserve way way better then someone fake.
Omg my ex wanted me to “fight” for her while she continued to sleep with her ex husband. I destroyed my life with drugs and alcohol trying to dilute the pain all this caused. Not knowing I was with a narcissist. Thank you so much for this knowledge!!
"LIFE IS BUILT UPON LIES & SECRETS: They are unable to sustain relationships in a healthy kind of way because they have to lie & keep secrets & constantly play games of cover up. That's how they engage with individuals."
~Dr Les Carter
Yes, lies and secrets give them that oneupmanship, like enemies use in wartime, this gives them the advantage always.
Thank you so much for posting this enlightening comment from Dr Les Carter. You have helped me to understand how a Covert Narcissist I know has been able to live a secret double life for 10 years. I was so duped and beating myself up for being so stupid and naive but thanks to this word from Dr Carter you have shared today, I can finally accept that they are fully capable of blatantly looking you in the eye whilst lying to your face, and covering up the truth about their ability to lead duplicitous lives full of deceit, dirty little secrets and outright fraudulent behaviour with no conscience or remorse whatsoever!
So true
Bingo💛💚💛🧡💕❤️💫
Human beings like you and I, live to grow and change and look for help.Right? Why do Narcissists reject every form of help?
My ex narc is welcome to his new supply. As long as he's staying away from me I couldn't care less what he does.
Could not have said it better if I tried.. so true!!
I feel the same way. My only concern is that I NEVER want to see, hear from, or acknowledge the existence of this individual ever again.
@@goldilocks3593 I feel the exact same way. I'm finally free of this asshole. 😊
Exactly leave the narcissist to do they fake love with his new partner they deserve eachother probably haha...we should not worry for the past because new dreams coming true it will be even more beautiful than those what we didn't achieved!!! 🧡
@@dainese_1972 I agree. I'm excited about the future now. Only onwards and upwards from here..🥰
My ex told on himself all the time. I reached rock bottom when I was begging for his attention. I’m still ashamed I let myself get to that point. He showed up at my door with a half ass apology saying “I’m sorry you got hurt by me”. His new supply does everything for him. Begging and buying his love- which is something I refused to do and ultimately why he left. I told him “she can have you” and made him leave. I’ll never Forget the look on his face. But I am so proud of myself for getting that strength and being no contact since.
I did the same 😢it was awful I didn’t even recognise myself I’d never have done that years back
Left my abusive narc in June 2019, almost been a year and I promise life is so much better than you'd ever thought. Seems impossible when you're in it but life becomes so beautiful
Lucy Jackson I hope so .
@@Christinesobsevations Going no contact is the best thing I ever did. First few weeks, even months, I felt like life was pointless because we'd spent so many years together but there's a life after - one where you don't have to live in fear and walk on eggshells.
Chronically Christine I promise you your life will be soooo much happier
Stay strong
Amazing job Lucy 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼❤ So proud of you!
Did you discard him or he discarded you?
I have discarded this monster, but I'm still feeling his demons. I don't like him anymore. Why do I still feeling his demons? 😖😖
My narcissist didn't play Mr Angry when I left. He played Mr Extra Nice for months. Up to the point that for a split second once, I thought I made a mistake. After a year he contacted me just to see how I was, having left the new supply. I am an empath. I could have chosen to be mean and destroy him on a phone. I chose to be myself. I was nice. This way I could say to myself that he didn't destroyed me completely. The narcissist was surprised but obviously realised what he lost. Called me the next day then the next and the next. I never answered. All this to say that sometimes our objective can't be to get revenge and kill, but simply remain who we really are. They lost that, and in a way that our best indirect revenge.
Amesheures Ameshe, when I left my narc, he looked CONFUSED, SHOCKED, & SURPRISED!
It is so hard , to realise they are this person. When you are a loving, loyal, tolerant, forgiving person that values a relationship for the long haul. You are left ignored, hurt, and just blown away. Thanyou Dave.
That Girl blown away and thrown away.
The one who loves will never get hurt.The lord saves them.
I hear you loud and clear! 13yrs loyal.
So true
If I learned something is that we should never FIGHT to be with someone, specially not fighting with someone else who wants it too. If they don't want to be with us or act dissmissive, even if they say they care or whatever words. The situation would be different if they actually cared. LET IT GO. Hurts like hell, the trauma is real. But living with someone who does NOT appreciate your presence in their life is a LOT WORSE! It does get better, find closure here and within yourself. I'm here for you, guys
Beautifully said love
Exactly been there
That is a very true statement
Absolutely true, you are an angel for saying this.
A narcissist is cruel and heartless. Three years after the discard I still can feel my heart broken. I don’t believe in love anymore, though I don’t want that. I honestly want to believe in love again but that man almost made my die causing me so much sorrow. Being told I love you and discovering it was all made up I can’t describe how devastating it is. It’s the worst scam ever .
Same here. I still can't love again.
Awww. Same here. The whole dying of sorrow thing, and yet they don't care. The sorrow was inflicted on purpose. We must remember that.
Read the book How to Kill a Narcissist. It will help you with that. Once you understand the purpose of invalidating and shaming you will realise that there are things you do that you can control to get back into your wholesome self.
Myriam Dimakopoulou it is 27 years we met at 17 God bless you
Keep watching. Quinn ASSC Group helped Dave & me. Dr. Les Carter, Dr. Carmen Bryant. Apostle Helen Saddler & Pastor R. C. Blake's. Rev. Blake's has powerful stuff on breaking Soul Ties, healing from Narc abuse. Plus, understanding narcs & the mind games played. Stay with Jesus, you can make it.praying for you.🙏✝️📖👩💻
Mine didn't want to give me his address (overseas) because he thought I was going to hop on a plane, leave our kids with family, to 'fight' with his 22 year old new supply over him. I laughed when he told me this. I just needed his address to serve him the divorce lawsuit.
looool
So typical! Narc injury there! Carly Simons "YOURE SO VAIN" always comes to mind with these peeps.
He got excited for nothing. Hehe.
"STUCK IN PATTERNS OF IMMATURITY: They are not able to engage with other adults in an adult kind of way. They are unable to have relationships that are anchored in maturity."
~Dr Les Carter
Their reality is a fantasy land where they are the ruler of that land. It's make believe, childish, idealistic and has no relevance to real life obligations, commitments and responsibilitys. They simply never grew up.
Survivorship 🦋 wished I knew the level of immaturity I was dealing with before getting sucked into a web of lies, deceit and worst of all there expectation of entitlement to cheat on you and act like they did nothing wrong but twist it around to blame you so their fake image of perfection remains hidden to everyone else and the problem is diverted to you, and is the hidden agenda and set up for the devalue and discard motive they’ve planned all along !! Just blows your mind how anyone would want to go out of their way to make sure this mental abuse they love giving you, is their way to make themselves feel better and despise you for everything they will never feel for themselves, our love we have and truly feel, which a narc will never have or give you !! Sad way to live each day and want to hurt you for no reason other then there selfish need for supply whether it’s negative or positive, even if it’s wrong on every level, just pathetic vultures that hate themselves and are insecure immature children !! Karma will come full circle all in good time !!
@@user-el3lm4hf2t That's right
Spot on they learn their behaviour from their parents or care givers at a young age .
The new supply is never better than you
Generally they always down grade no reason to compete
Happen to me, you are 💯 right.
That's one of the things I could never figure out.....why they downgrade? But now I see...
Right! Sometimes ppl think we're just saying they downgraded to make ourselves feel better, but the truth is, they downgrade 90% of the time. My NEX's harem garage is filled with unattractive women. TUH! I will NEVER be jealous! lol
I don’t know if I can say that they always downgrade. They found us, right? Remember that we were the “new supply” at one time. They definitely got lucky with us but I think their harem garage is a giant buffet of options from classy to trashy! Doesn’t matter to them. It’s like a vampire just looking for blood.
Kitty, the reason for my comment is from personal experience. Even in men who aren't narcs...when they cheat, they usually downgrade. But, a lot of narcs leave because they think someone is a better supply...not for looks.
Before, I left my ex narc, I did research..which is why I was able to go behind his back and set up shop somewhere else in order to get away from him. I was curious to who these supplies were, so I went to their FB pages. All except one were obese and unattractive. I don't mean to be mean, but it's the truth. They also don't have any accolades or anything else special going on. Some of the supplies were women he's was seeing while he was with his girlfriend before me (we got in a relationship years after they broke up...he didn't leave her for me). His last girlfriend was nice-looking, smart, she spoke well, etc. He downgraded, with the supplies after her.
Hope is the worst thing you can have with a narcissist. I learned that the hard way. I made a video about this
So true! ‘Hope deferred makes the heart sick’ as the book of Proverbs tell us. I must check out your video 🤗❤️
They appeal to our hopefulness Always assess your hopefulness
I just found out by the NEW SUPPLY that she has been talking about me throughout their entire relationship. She told him about my channel and after he went through my videos, he realized that SHE was the problem. He was discarded with no word BUT he didn't care cause he was prepared for it thank to my channel. He didn't need to compete with me and same with me. happy that I helped him.
Carla Fagan lost again
That's awesome😁
@@msarkis 💯💯💯
@@jackiejames3898 Thank you
Hey J.C. I have really enjoyed your channel as well and I think it's great that all the channels throw a shout out to each other because we're all united in this healing and I have learned a lot from all the channels I follow. I can't believe "Carla Fagan" told her new supply about your channel! She literally put the nail in the coffin on that relationship. She is so full of herself that she actually believed the new supply would believe her over your channel?!? Lol! These people are clearly delusional.
It's unspeakable how they always try and manage to find a way back into your life ONLY to hurt you again and act like they didn't do anything wrong and that we were the cause of the problems.
I hope you're doing okay, Dave! =D
"GOOD PEOPLE ULTIMATELY STAY AWAY: Over time, good people are able to spot & stay away from them. It's like, "I don't want anything to do with that person."
~Dr Les Carter
Mine has been ringing my doorbell every week unannounced...in the middle of this pandemic because he wanted to see his kid. The same one he abandoned (left us at 6 mos pregnant). I finally opened the door to ask what he wanted. Asked him to leave before I called the police. He acted the victim...you won’t let me see my kiddd 🙄 all about him. No accountability. Told him to talk to the judge and closed the door✌🏽
OshunErzulieHetHeru : wait a minute are we now not dating the same man. “ I want to see my kids, you trying to keep me away from my kids,”. 😄
That’s how you should treat them 😂
Same here! Mine left us but then only comes back crying I’m keeping him from his kids.... the ones he left from day one.... only wants admiration and adulation! Tell it to the judge! You’re damn right!
Yes mine discarded me pregnant too. Moved in with his ex and smoked meth into a state of psychosis. Came back "recovered" left again in same circumstances.
And im the bad one for not being Christian enough!
maranda boak he’s using your empathetic nature to take advantage of you, stop allowing him to come and go out of your life as pleases. Write him off and start your healing process, your strength is within yourself, you need to tap into that and ask Almighty God to help you. The journey may be tougher but it’s liberating and there’s freedom. Since you’re a Christian ask Almighty God to show you the right path of your life, I guarantee you He will
They think like this. How kill somebody? Fill them with love and than leave....everything what they do or say is not because love, they just whant to hurt you....
I actually did this to a narc.
I'm so glad I never lowered my level and i never fought the new supply or begged the narcissist to be with me. I had to let him go even when i had no idea of what he was or what was going on. I just want to put this behind me, but these days the trauma has been affecting me. Almost 3 months NO CONTACT and the birthday of the narc is coming and used to look like a good day before. I wouldn't come back ever, but I'm feeling like no one will love me. I just want to have something real, someone to share with and live a nice story for ONCE IN MY LIFE. This has been hauting me, I needed to get it off my chest. Hope everyone is coping and doing well. It hurts, but don't look back. It's better that they are away.
Stay strong , and remember that life is more peaceful without them 😇
Love yourself. Give your self the closure. Self love is key, and with time you'd attract someone better. Good energy.
I believe love is out there- for you, for all of us, we have to believe
there are billion of people out there, you will find the right person one day. just work on yourself first and within time, things will heal. stay strong ok, you got this.
things will get better I promise you that :D x
Giovanna! 3 months....that is amazing! Great job girl! But I know what you mean, sometimes the trauma and hurt is just too much! When you're feeling low, spend time with your family and friends ❤💚❤ I'm just curious, has your ex hoovered you at all?
Mine did 2 weeks ago, and all my hard work of no contact is back to square one!
I needed this today. I went gray rock recently, started getting love-bombed and hoovered. I maintained my boundaries of not "restarting" the relationship again, not being close or intimate in any way, shape, or form... and waited for the other shoe to drop. Boy... did it drop. He went from "I love you, you're so beautiful, I want us to be together again" to "You're a disgusting selfish pig, get away from me." All it took was one little word from me: "No."
"INSTEAD OF ADMIRATION, PEOPLE ARE DISGUSTED: They crave admiration & they crave significance, but over time people become disgusted by them; & So, they go on to try to find other people that might admire them & give them significance. But the disgust that other individuals have for them, THAT becomes part of their "karma."
~Dr Les Carter
That is definitely how I feel: all the way from admiration to utter and total disgust. Such an acting job. I have to think there is some type of karma for being such a fraud, if only that we leave when we can see through the charade.
@@goldilocks3593 Exactly
Exactly. Knowing the dark depths of hell lie beneath that stupid mask disgusts me. He is physically hideous to me now, too. A monster.
They burn every bridge, then have the audacity to wonder "why don't they talk to me anymore???????????? GOD help these people.
My uncle killed himself because of a female Narc... two years after that her next boyfriend shot himself. She laughed and said “people call me the black widow” 🤔
Omg so sad
And she thinks that's funny ?...that's awful
I'm so sorry for your loss
My condolences to lose a loved one because they're stuck in that abuse... One of my ex narcs told me how she tried to kill her first abusive husband by pouring cleaners into his coffee, and her 3rd abusive husband that she considered shooting him in the head, with his own gun, as he slept. Like it was a funny moment to chuckle to. Can't make this shit up. At least we now have the knowledge to spread awareness to our friends and family, so they can completely avoid these predators. 🙁 Again, sorry about your uncle.
Joshua Lett sinister stories
InnerAdornment ......Yeah I was suicidal also....narcs cause a lot of suicides....the ‘perfect’ murder....I think many suicides that come out of nowhere shocking everyone have a narc in the wings...
@@iamu2247 3rd husband?
run rum run far away but quietly
Strangely... even her family warned me... so did mine... did I listen? NO! Don’t be involved in their “play”
I didn't listen to my family and friends either and got taken advantage of/conned big time. My aunt warned me about the NEX. She passed away last year sadly. Wish I would have heeded her warning. 😭
ThisGirl HasHadEnough stay strong girl! It was all a lie... YOU KNOW HOW TO LOVE... You are a Diamond 💎 they were nothing! Love yourself 🥰
ThisGirl HasHadEnough Your Aunt is a Part of Your Soul! Make her Proud and Rise Above! We are Stronger Than All!
They are looking to hurt you, that is sooo true!!!.. and very very painfull... (unbelievable for empaths to understand..)
"OTHERS WON'T BE THERE IN MOMENTS OF PAIN: Because they perpetuate pain, when it comes time for people to minister or to serve them in THEIR own pain, people stay away. It's like, "I don't want to have anything to do with them."
~Dr Les Carter
Wow Dave it sounds like she believed she was the heroine of her own Pre-Raphaelite melodrama... the ultimate beautiful damsel in distress wanting to be repeatedly rescued by a Knight in shining armour. Little did she know that she was really starring in her own crazy Monty Python comedy! Narcs are totally delusional! You are so blessed that you escaped her wacky pantomime 🤪
lol...well said as usual Master Chief
Hi, my friend! I've been thinking of you, I've been having some bad moments today! Thanks for being here!
LIBRA So true...and so was Sissy. 😁
GIOVANNA PANDOLFO oh I’m so sorry to hear that you’re having a bad day today dear Giovanna 😔 Some days are definitely more difficult to get through than others but I promise you it will get easier as time progresses and you keep him blocked. We do grow stronger with each new day of freedom. I’ve been going through a set back in my healing too these past two weeks as I found out some shocking lies he had been telling me for 10 years!! ( my ex Narc boyfriend not my former Narc husband). I’m praying and trusting God that He will get me through this pain and shock and I’m going to keep on praying for your healing too my precious friend! Love you and please let me know if you’d like to talk more anytime 💕💖💕💖
@@prettypuppy6752 it's some emotional flashbacks that come and ruin my mood! I've been trying to keep myself positive and remember that it's all gone. I'm the phase where I already accepted it happened, but wonder how could I love that much and not be loved even a little bit now that I know. I realized I've never been loved and it's been getting to me. I don't wanna rush it. I would love. Do you have instagram? Follow me. Or leave some way I can contact you in the comments on my channel!! 💖💞❤️
This is 100% so so so accurate my narc ex is crying and complaining about her new supply and telling me how much better I was and that she made a mistake saying her New supply treat's her like a slave and for me to save her I'm not saving her from anything thank you so much for this video
Are you talking to them? Don’t answer
Why are you still keeping in touch with your ex narcissist, you know that person is not good for you. Give yourself some dignity and move on
Sounds like she's either projecting what she's doing to him or she's with another narcissist.
1991windsor Or he may just be triangulating.
@@brittaolson6550 true. I don't put anything past these creatures. Mine was always trying to get a rise out of me and I never really understood triangulation until I looked into it and realized he did it the first day I met him.
They can’t come to terms with anything, even when they choose it.
I need to save myself and my kids from the narc...I feel this video was for me. He tries to make me jealous but I can’t be jealous when I found out how evil they truly are. I was in love with a figment of illusion
Edit: I left this comment less than 3 minutes into the video. You kept reassuring me that this video was for and those like me for the remainder of the vid 😌😉😄
Me too! Amen sista!
Listening to you is like going to AAA-meetings for narcissism. And this show made me cry. My narc ex even admitted he posted pics on insta with his new supply to make me jelous. He triangelated me to make his new supply think she had to totally adapt to him or he would go back to me. I was only a card for him to play. And I tried everything to show him I was better then her. Thank the lord he chose her. Now Im in a new loving relationship with an empath. But the pain is still present from time to time, so thank you for doing this shows. I think it helps us all to stay narc-sober. 🙏🏼
2 days before my ex narc of 5 years discarded me (by creating huge fight then telling me he was moving to a new place and did want me knowing where he was moving) begged me to have a child with him. He left 2 days later... Fast forward 8 months later (today), still no word from him. I’ve not spoken or reached out either. These individuals are not human...have no empathy.
Focus on yourself and heal, after your healing, there’s a loving man waiting for you.
It's no surprise that the seriousness of a family commitment was only a ploy for immediate control with no intent of fulfilling that obligation. Classic future faking. Even involving a child they create.
Brad McEwen exactly its all part of their sickness they could care less about the babies
"They discard you like you don't exist, but they future fake up until the last second." So true, Dave- so true. It's diabolical- they all seem to follow the same script!
I sent an email to my ex-narc, because he was blaming me for why our relationship didn’t work. I replied and had to remind him that he cheated on me multiple times, left me stranded on the road when he kicked me out of the truck, threatened to kill me, etc., and then he responds back to me saying he’s tired of my bullshit emails and that he’s found someone who accepts him for who he is. Not once did he ever admit he did me wrong or was sorry, and because I left him finally to get away from his abuse, I was the one at fault for our relationship not working. Thanks for your show, it’s been helping me.
I was left on a dark highway. Part of the car torture chamber thing.
Valerie Parker So sorry that happened to you, I hope you’re away from your abuser and recovering from the abuse.
@@valerieparker2242 Ewwww! The car! Yes, I wound up getting panic attacks anytime I have 2 get into my car now. He would trap me in there, abuse me, usually physically it was scary. I have 2 breathe thru my nose, all the way 2 my toes so I wont freak out in a panic attack. It really sucks. He took me 2 the beach, 4 hour ride, had it not been for klonopin, I believe I would have really freaked out.
On point Dave! He wants me to answer my phone sooo bad 😂
Ohh when he calls I have to answer and when I don’t, he pulls a tantrum! He’s not my husband anymore, he can’t do that to me anymore.
@@daliadeeelite67 thats right fight em off girl you got this!!
The NEX was like that.....if I didn't respond to his texts immediately, he would go apeshit.
@@jhonwayne1003 It happens off & on. He knows there is no hope but he will still try to force it anyway smh.. Always some b.s. man..
Don’t B, 🤣
Not just they can't handle people disagreeing with them, most shocking revelation for me after finding about NPD was; for these people, nobody exists. They talk at you, like you are some furniture. They never really perceive anybody as separate human being with own feels, past, personality. They got no respect, no sincerity, no emotion, nothing towards anyone. However they know how to act in certain behaviors. They imitate these while they communicate but that's all. All fake, imitation, a virtual reality simulation. Once they see they can no longer get what they want from you (i.e. disagreement) their virtual reality movie stops and bam, mask comes off, and ofc, you are responsible and you should be punished now since you threaten their grandiose fantasy. Insanity at extreme. Your video reminded me how was I struggled and felt hopeless once. These people and things they do is really devastating to someone who lacks the knowledge. Thanks again Dave, for sharing this story and for creating this channel. *Knowledge is power.
Profound.
Yes 100 💯💪💪💪
Yes! My ex narc said he needed to move to take care of his mother 3 hours away. No address, and we have two kids together. He said he needed to be happy. So much discarding until I took him to court for child support since he wasn’t living with the kids anymore. His mother was best friends with his ex girlfriend which he moved in with right after he was sent the papers for custody. I was hoping this would make him prioritize his family but he has not been thinking about the kids at all, even tho he portrays to be a good dad without even wanting to support them since he has his own bills to pay now. These people are shit. Been telling myself the trash took itself out.
Omg! I have one kid with mine (just turned three yesterday) and nine months ago he told me that he “needed to find his own happiness” and I needed to find mine. He plays the role of devoted dad in front of his new supply, but doesn’t take care of simple things that are actually required of parents. I’m trying to remind myself of what trash he is.
Similar situation for me too, they just dont care about the children- they were just pawns in the game!
Most narcs could give 2 shits about their children. All they care about is using them for the possibility of keeping their other parent in their harem when things don’t go their way. So sad.
Carrie Canova the trash took itself out. I love that !!!
Dave they are looking GeForce perfection and total control. What I recently found out the narcissist becomes totally affected if they see u progressing and they hard degreasing. This proves to the narcissist, who needs who. The narcissist needs u to survive.U DON’T NEED THE NARCISSIST TO SURVIVE.
So freaken true
This I do know, and am glad somebody else said it. I used 2 think I needed him bc the addiction 2 the narc pipe was so strong. In reality, the narc will crumble and go lower and lower without U in there lives.
Yes, they will self-destruct. There is no happy ending for them.
I was told “ you’re stressing me out “ when I stopped putting up with the crap .
Mr. Dave, my heart sank for you when you shared your story. How horrible that she attempted to guilt you over something so very personal and that you both planned and agreed upon. Not having children with HER has to be a blessing in disguise. I can't imagine what that would have been like. Thank you for having the courage to be so open and honest with your experiences.
Yes she would just have used the child against Dave to make him more miserable. At least he is free from her.
I felt pain as he spoke. His pain may have saved me from doing the same thing. I'm ready for when that phone rings.
He said that to me in the beginning “I think I’m just meant to be single”-he never realized that he had a hand in his past not working out 😒
Self-fulfilling prophesy! 😁
Love this video !! I would love to share another poem with everyone!
All these years,
And many tears.
You took it all,
Let me fall.
The silent pain,
I contained.
All the secrets i kept,
As i silently wept.
The fake promises,
You kept everything anymous.
Called me names,
Made me feel ashamed.
Took everything i owned,
Including my soul.
You wanted to tear me down,
But still i wear my crown.
Wanted to control me,
I just couldnt let that be.
I refused to remain in your shackles,
As you continued to cackle.
Never again will you hurt me.
For now im free.
Free like a bird,
And finally can be heard.
You can continue to smear,
Cuz i have no more fear.
I will no longer feel blue,
I have no more tears left for you.
Good luck trying to find another me,
Cuz another me, there will never be.
Love the Poem
Bravo!! 👏🏻👏🏻 What a talented poet you are Marg. This really touched my heart. Thank you so much for sharing your poem with us all. Keep on writing... you have a very special gift 💝💕
I love it so much I want to read it again
@@prettypuppy6752 your so welcome!!! Will do!
@@tonibeeman9197 thank you!!!
I love the line in Mary Oliver's poem, "The Uses of Sorrow ".
Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand that this too was a gift.
Oh how profound!!❣️❣️
Jeffery Shaw : A box of darkness. Wow so true
wow...powerful word...
Very powerful. Love that. So poignant! X
lovely
As she expected me to compete with the new supply who is someone I knew, I simply dumped her and never looked back. Five years later, that individual dumped and mocked her. Her life mission is now to prevent me from reaching my full potential. She tried voodoo, witchcraft against me, all failed.
She sounds crazy.
Hayley Crawford she’s a voodoo witch, a reprobate who sold her soul to Satan
You’re right about them being evil. I put up with over 20 years of abuse and neglect, only to be discarded without any conscience or remorse. He sent me a divorce notice on our 25th wedding anniversary! Within weeks he was with someone else and made sure I knew about it. Left gifts for her on the dining table for me to see. Acted euphoric on his nights out with her. I realised that it’s to make me witness this and get a reaction out of me that he refuses to leave home although he can afford to and is deliberately delaying the divorce. He has the full support of his Narc mother too. Unfortunately for him, I choose not to react. I have no desire to be a part of his sick games. It’s been 3 years and the games still go on. I will leave him to his own devices and watch him fall on his face.
Sounds exactly like MY story! In this game of Tug o' War, I let go of the rope.
❤️ He can't have your spirit nor your soul.. Belongs to God.. He will be your comfort and will turn the wave of destruction back on this man so that no harm will come to you Amen. Trust in him and pray for a way of quick solution to get that evil out of your home.. I will pray for you God Bless you ❤️
"CAPTURED BY THEIR OWN BITTERNESS: So, as the years go by, that anger remains inside of them & it rots on the inside of them. It destroys their personality & they wind up becoming people captured by their own internal bitterness."
~Dr Les Carter
No, Dave, that wasn't me. But. That was Painful to listen to. I can't imagine how painful it was to experience it. You have got amazing courage to open up to us like that. Some REAL balls!!!!! It will obviously help someone. You,re a gift!!!
When an ex tried to hoover me, i picked it up thinking it was the doctor's office. I hear "hey stranger"
Me: who's this
Idiot narc: you don't know?
Me: no
Narc: you don't recognize my voice (at this point I'm thinking, is this really narc, lol, it can't be)
Me: no
Narc: it's me, Narc
Me: hangs up and blocks his stupid butt.
I dated him for 7 months and he was cheating the whole time and then discarded me and got married just a few weeks later... Has the nerve to call me out of the blue over a year later 🤦♀️
Are they still with the new supply? Is that why they reached out?
Omg. That is friggin' hilarious! I lve been visualizing his face when the phone went click. Haha😂😂😂😂
@@valerieparker2242😂😂
Yesterday my ex tried to start a hoover, she said ''I loved you when nobody else did and it was true''
I took a screenshot and sent it to he new supply. The time it takes her to fix that pickle with her new supply she may leave me alone for a few weeks.
This was extremely helpful!! My ex narc was texting a new supply behind my back when we were dating, he was also texting with an ex-girlfriend, I couldn’t believe it, because we were actually doing pretty good together for several weeks before I caught him texting with these other women. It never made sense to me, but now that I understand triangulation and how they have to have several sources of supply all at one time, it makes sick sense to me! I said to him at that time, how could you do this to me? I am only kind and good and positive toward you at all times, but he had no answer. They are so full of themselves and have no loyalty or sense of morality with one special person.
"THEIR OWN ANGER ROTS WITHIN: They have this ongoing strain of anger intention & they're never able to come to healthy resolution because when you go into this chronic aggressiveness & harshness towards other individuals, it becomes the "gift that keeps on giving."
~Dr Les Carter
My GOD,So true.
So similar to what happened happened to me. We'd decided not to have kids because he said he didn't want anymore, he'd had one from previous marriage, and I HAD to work. So twenty years later during the discard he said maybe I'll meet a young 24 year old Asian girl and have a kid because you are barren. Oh my goodness how this hurt me. And he'd a list of things I had to change. But not being able to have kids was something I couldn't change. It was the ultimate blow to me which had me on my knees. Of course the new supply was 34 Asian with a young child.
How cruel hu ? I'll never forget this as long as I live
Excellent video Dave!
The discard is so warped and cruel, how could anyone in their right mind expect us to forget and forgive. I can still hear all those awful things and see the pleasure that my pain gave him.
Knowledge is power and I now have an inbuilt narc alert. I thank Jesus every day for saving me. Xx
To know the x Narc hates my guts is a good thing. These zombies are always hostile.
Mine hates me too. Makes me happy. He will never try to come back.
My ex said I was dead to him. I replied praise God!
I'm in heaven, you're still in hell. 😂
@@jewelmathewson2997 good for you
Thanks Dave for sharing your personal story , must be hard going over those last moments again even if you’re fully healed. Brings back memories for me. They are seriously something else , it’s like they have an answer for everything, like they already know the script before it’s given to them. The only complement I could give them is they are very good at what they do. The only way to defeat them is block them. They might feel like they won when they discarded you but in time they are always the loser.
My ex, whom has discarded me so many times, ghosted, sometimes your stories are so familiar to mine.
One time, he dumped me in the middle of a supermarket because I asked him a question. He was having a party that night and I'd spent the whole day with him. I only asked him who's going.
Then he got angry and said I cant do this. He wanted me gone STRAIGHT away
Hes love bombed me so many times, so many fake promises. He ghosts for months, once straight after sex.
He tried to contact me the other day, last week with the hoover. As hes done so many times.
Thanks to you, I've ignored it.
I will be blocking him but it's so hard. So so hard. I know why because of the trauma bond.
Everything you say is so true
My jaw just won't stop dropping in amazement of how similar our experiences are on here.
I understand.
Unfortunately I would get hoovered back in with promises of massages and romance.. and the yes.. the sex was incredible..
And he knew that was a weakness with me.
My ex husband of 25 yrs was bisexual.
And was a narcissist.
But I unfortunately upgraded to a Grandeos narcissist.
Who used every weakness I have to crush me.
I told him my deepest pains and dreams.
I won't make that mistake again.
I want love making..
Not just sex and empty promises and crushed dreams.
My x-narc, just after we split up, called the cops on me for asking to see the phone bill when I realized something was going on. They quickly realized something was wrong with HIM and not me. He was losing his mind and made an ass of himself. And I just laughed...he was so pathetic.
Thanks for making this video Dave. I'm sorry your ex caused so much pain to you. My now ex (BPD/Narc) of 10 years has put me through some real hell too--especially over the last 6 months. She is a monster that doesn't feel pity, remorse or empathy of any kind. The level of betrayal is not human. I have lost over 20 Ibs from stress and feel absolutely gutted. Thanks for sharing your story. Why does good seem to get punished in this society and bad behavior gets rewarded? Empaths are in danger of becoming extinct bc of these soulless creatures. I have never left a comment before on any channel. Just wanted you to know that your videos are saving lives and helping to ease some of our pain. Thank you!
Same. They keep U gutted so U can't move foward. The exhaustion, depression, and insecurity is self inflicted by the narc upon U. This type of state they get U in,, they KNOW U feel shitty, making it harder 2 move on.
How do you feel these days? Im going through the same thing. Tormented by the things my ex is doing, she put me way up high and pulled the carpet out from under me and is stomping on me. Never had this happen before. Just wondering how long it will be until i feel normal.
Because satan is using them to try to destroy us.
When true intimacy begins the Narc will run.
What do you mean Chris?
@@Tony-dh they love sex....hate making love. They are empty
They will dangle the carrot of commitment in front of you, they get a buzz watching you fight for them and see you jealous of the new supply. They erode your self esteem. I had this madness for 3 years with my ex narc.....now I pray for his new supply knowing she'll be going through what I went through. Great video Dave
Wow the power of being able to say “you don’t matter to me anymore” and mean it, not trying to even hurt them it’s just the utter truth. I got chills when you said that. I can’t wait to feel that, truly feel that. No guilt, no revenge, empowering indifference! 🥺🦋
CONCLUDING THOUGHT☝🏾: "I genuinely believe that these individuals are STUCK INSIDE THEIR OWN PERPETUAL HELL; & it's a hell that's created by their OWN uncaring spirit, by their unwillingness to forgive, & by their OWN sheer emptiness..."
~Dr Les Carter
Yes indeed! The most alarming thing is when they spend eternity in hell. A place where they will never be able to cry out to GOD and be helped.💔GOD BLESS YOU 😇
Thank you for being so honest. You hit everything on the head. Child-like behavior. Thank you for being such a blessing to so many🥰🙏 Shalom 🙂
That curiosity is so powerful. I keep wanting to know what the next ploy will be.
Mine worked on the road and I had an uneasy feeling..I looked through his tablet and found a bunch of pictures I at times wish I did not... He left and blamed me for going through his personal property and how dare I ?? He called an Uber as he doesn't have a car..my goodness this has been so painful but someone shared a meme with me that said "Sometimes God will save you by removing someone from your life that you are not strong enough to remove because he knows you deserve better. He knows you don't have the strength...He will get you through..Thank you Dave for being here through this awful situation I am going through..blessings.
Dave, thank you for sharing your truth. It’s takes strength and courage to do so. From a 18 year married veteran to an unknown/undiagnosed woman with 8 years of complete joy and happiness focused, driven, working together raising 4 children to complete reverse direction due to her experiencing a mental breakdown. Our marriage went from 50/50 to 150/0. All her past came crashing down upon her from childhood to late 20’s and then came the diagnosis…cluster b - BPD/NPD/ptsd/did/mpd/substance and sex abuse and much more. I was completely devastated as so was she. For every year of living with this woman felt like dog years until she triangulated me making an option which she then quickly discarded me before I could discard her and immediately entered a new relationship (3 days later) as if I did not exist for 18 years and completely ghosted me.
I have healed and rebuilt me on my own and am currently in divorce process. Less than 6 months to go. I look forward to that day when it becomes official even though I have already divorced and buried this empty self with no soul as only God can Have mercy for her; I will not. I appreciate your channel, intent, and contributions to this subject matter as we are in a time of the battle of the soul’s. Empaths, Stay alert! Stay alive! Stay strong! Peace ✌️
And one more thing: they want to make sure you stick around. No departures allowed. It is now your job to live for the narcissist, FOREVER.
It's kind of like the Hotel California.
That's why narcs have to forcefully be given the old heave ho. No one needs such dead weight in their lives.
He would literally say : I own you. (Overt)
@@valerieparker2242 Mine said he owned me too. That is how narc's view marriage. Master owns slave.
Wow Dave you are telling the story of MY ending too. So on point.
In my life I’ve had seven Miscarriages and never got to have children. This has been the bane of my existence and a very sensitive point. Last year I was raising one of my bottle baby lambs that I love to raise in the house and it got really sick and passed away. During one of his narcissistic fits my ex texted me these words
“it’s a good thing you never had any children. You would’ve killed them like you did your baby lamb.”
My ex-husband, who was also a narcissist of a different kind, who I was married to prior to this last relationship, sent me something similar when I left him. He actually put a curse on my womb. And he calls himself a Christian.
Truth is they are brutal brutal brutal demons. So I feel your pain on that one. Thanks for sharing your very personal story.
Dave could’ve at least chosen to reply back to you for writing that heartfelt comment. You have a beautiful signing voice btw Dee!! 😍😘❤️
I never had a disagreement, exactly. The last day I was with my ex, he was on his way to work, I met him after I got off work as I always did. We stood in the parking lot of the park and talked as we always did before he went on to work. I knew it was over, there was no, grand goodbye or last minute pouring out of love or well wishes. I had slowly began to learn he was bringing his ex back into his life. I had moved out weeks earlier and he continued to future fake even as he lied to her that I was out of the picture entirely. There was no emotion from either of us. It was just over. The next day was Saturday, I saw him with his ex as if nothing had ever happened. It was just like it never happened.
Something that I've learned from the first time being sldiscarded 4 years ago,my friend said to me 'well at least it was only 2.5 years not 15 years,I would've walked up and shook the guys hand and said thanks',and this is where I'm at today after the 2nd time,like thanks buddy you saved me from wasting the rest of my life.
OK, I'm going to guess at their motives without even watching the video:
1. Their relationship with the new supply has gone south.
2. Triangulation. At first, the old supply was the bad guy, and now the new supply is. Narcissists are forever manipulating, therefore forever triangulating.
Narcissists do not have relationships. EVER. You're just an extra in an idiot drama. An idiot drama that isn't even entertaining, except to the narcissist running the drama. And not even entertaining to another narcissist.
So, those are my guesses, and I'll bet I'm right.
All their relationships are dysfunctional at best
Chaos and drama the daily norm.
Thank You for sharing your story. This wicked treatment towards another person is beyond my scope of compression,but I guess that's why we are all here,and sharing our stories of these cold blooded reptiles. God is watching all of these things playing out. It's only a matter of time before they will reap what they have sown. God bless You and your great channel Dave.
Thanks dave for sharing your story. Its really helpful for me and for others too I'm sure
My pleasure!
Omg thanks Dave for this message. My ex who hoovered me back into an intimate relationship purposely got me pregnant. This is the level of control they have over an unaware empath. Anyone who is reading this!!! Trust us!! It’s a trap !! Do not fall for the lies. Learn everything you can and be aware. They want to watch you suffer and they are happiest when you are in emotional pain especially when it’s associated with shame. Do not fall for it. You will deeply regret it.
Dave, my discard just ended yesterday-all of this is exactly what I went through. I was discarded months ago-he was completely different. Another man. This whole time.
6 months no contact. And that contact will be the rest of my life. She hoovered my son yesterday he said he never responded That's my boy Throw cold water all over that done! Shout out to the non narc Nation
I am so sorry u went through that dave. My ex had been acting different and started ignoring me and wouldn't come to bed or even hold me so i slept on the couch one night and next day we had another argument i told him to move to his mothers then 1 week later hes living with his ex. He has tried to come back i wont even talk to him
It never ceases to amaze me that EVERY narc have the characteristics!! This I’m EXACTLY what I’m going through right now!! It was me Dave. I needed to hear this!!
Amen
It’s really amazing how the behavior is like they each have the same playbook Idolize Devalue Discard then afterwards call to test the waters in hopes for some narcissistic supply with saying something they know would hurt you and you would want to defend. Yeah it’s best to cut the cords and don’t answer the call! Keep your high energy and vibration to better yourself and give to other likeminded people.
Jezebel: "Do as I say"
Us: "Why are you talking? Nobody's listening to you"
I have ignored all attempts. By attempts I mean texts accusing me of moving on, which I feel will be a long time before I do, and texts accusing me of things I’m sure he is guilty of. It definitely is hard to love somebody you know you have to leave. After the ignored Hoover attempts he pulled up as I was getting out of my car when I left for the store last night and returned, maybe 5 minutes gone from the house in total. I ignored him and walked in the house but yes it hurts! They know it hurts and that gives them fuel.
Kassandra!!! I'm sooo proud of you for ignoring him, and walking straight into your home. How did you do that?? My ex narc showed up at my place 2 weeks ago and I wasn't able to ignore him. Prior to his unannounced visit I had been 6 weeks of no contact! It's been 2 weeks now, and we are talking again! I know I should walk away again, but it's hard and it hurts. I'm sooo confused!
Congrats! Like you I ignore the nex at all cost! When we're able to let go of false hope for change no matter how hard & how much it hurts victory is ours! We can't be captivate or a slave to the past They NEVER CHANGE
@@mysticbeauty3634 Aww. Don't get down on yourself. They don't call them "Con men" for nothing! Literally "confidence men".
Wow, this is really helping me understand in the aftermath. For so long I thought I deserved it or something was wrong with me. Thank you!
The need to be right, the need to control, the need to be the best, it’s just so immature and childish. As for triangulation, it’s the stupidest thing ever. Normal people don’t flash their mistresses in the faces of their SO’s. I got the guts to disagree with the narc several times and he hated it. The last time I went no contact till today. He thought I was joking because I never threatened to break up before. He’s still shocked.
Thank you for your channel Dave! It has really helped me the last 4 months become educated on this personality disorder and remain no contact for the last 4 months. I have watched your videos back to back daily because it was the only outlet I felt I’ve had on what I’ve been through. Your videos have been helping me heal and with the knowledge it has given me strength to stay no contact. Before I kept going back even when I thought I was done because I didn’t understand and blamed myself for our problems because my ex narcassist consistently told me it was me, my mistakes. I was strongly trauma bonded and I am still recovering from cognitive dissonance. Who I thought I was with before the devaluing stage started is a different person when the mask came off entirely in the end. Now I’m being hoovered by him and his flying monkeys, by people I never saw before in our relationship. I could never get “me time” in the relationship he had no friends to my knowledge, friends he had lost he said mistreated him and took advantage of the good person he is, now he has a few helping him stalk me and drive by my home, honk, yell out at me. His recent Hoover was sending a package in his name to my address a couple of days ago. I know now there was a new supply in the picture well before the final discard, with there predictable ways I can see and understand a timeline of it now. This personality disorder is a nightmare to live with and there actions and behaviors are diabolical. Nicole from Seattle, WA
My ex-narc started stalking me harder when his life started falling apart, his main supply was walking out the door, and his harem garage was dried up. He decided that he could get me back by stalking and destroying my property. That was supposed to suck me back in. That only proceeded to make me move to another place and continue using the law to make him stop. He still tried to reach me on social media twice after I moved. This shows the sickness and entitlement they feel, and think that they can get you back in their grasps, no matter what they do to you.
Lies I am actually disgusted with this devil never again he hates me when all I did was love him no matter what
You deserve a person as kind as you are, believe it, we are out there!
"NO MUTUALLY RESPECTFUL RELATIONSHIPS: Because of their haughtiness & condescension, they're never gonna know what it's like to be in a mutually respectful relationship. They don't know what it is. They'll never be able to experience that."
~Dr Les Carter
Powerful words, "you just dont matter to me anymore".
Thanks Dave, I’m glad you made this. It has answered a lot of questions for me and a few things rang true as well! 🙏🏼 I literally bent over back wards to be the perfect partner he wanted, totally unaware of him being a Narc at the time.. I pat myself on the back as I think I came close to his “perfection” ... he would still sit there with a face like a slapped arse saying oh I hate my life, I just want to die. The man had a good partner, 3 of his own beautiful children, he earns thousands, nice houses and he’s still not happy.... I could never understand why...
Thank you so much for the video. You took the veil off my eyes. You just described an episode from my relationship with the narc.
Your absolutely right ! Every last one of them is delusional and believes you want them back . But no worries they'll find a new mark to save them 🙄
Hi Dave
Your video resonated with me. I remember telling my Clinical Psychologist how the Ex. was a completely different person after the discard. He said he wanted to have a 2 week separation. I didn’t think anything was wrong with this but after the 2 weeks he was a completely different person, then the discard with no satisfactory explanation. (I must admit that about 1 month previous to this happening, I had a feeling/hunch something was wrong-part of my family’s inheritent ability of being able to ‘sense’ when things are amiss).
The whole episode was very surreal so having come from a very Spiritual family, I began praying profusely. This kept me sane.
A few weeks later I witnessed my Ex. caress a lady the same way he use to caress me, and I knew he was having an affair. He also used her to triangulate me. Through my having been praying, I started to see his true colours.
About 2 years later, my Ex. tried Hoovering me. At the time, I said no thanks when he beckoned me, because I had a lot on happening in my life at that time. It is now 35 years later that I’m finally getting some closure as to what happened, with your many You Tube talks.
Keep up the good work. Thank you Dave.
Glad u made this video, Dave because you did help someone...me. I will never forget how bad the triangulation got. So bad I tried to become friends with the woman he ‘loved’ to save my marriage and keep the peace!
Thank you once again. Always waiting for your uploads. I discarded the narc and they never go away. They keep coming back in hopes that you fall for their crap again. Our hearts of gold has turned into hearts of steel. The narc has told me multiple times they loved me and cared for me. I had no more reactions left in me. I said I felt it but I didnt believe it. Lol 😂
The description of that phone call was so eerily similar to one I just had. Amazing how similar they are. Mine is a covert communal narc; goes from devaluing, to love bombing, to passive/aggressive insults, to I want us to be partners if you can just prove it, to outright fabrication of alternate histories of interactions, all in the same phone call. Mind boggling!! I am amazed at the duplicities with absolutely no remorse. Thank you so much for your raw honesty in this video.