Beauty Standards Always Win...
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 7. 11. 2022
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I think the underlying problem we have to adress is that womens primary "value" in society is still just beauty. It's ok if you're not attractive, unless that's the only thing you're valued for.
Lucky that women focus on more than just beauty, then
@@bleuay8435 exactly, but will take more time for society to accept that (kind of applies to beauty in general)
That is so true. I'm so glad I was raised by a forward thinking mother who taught me to value things other than beauty. Valuing beauty was low on her list and my life has been more fulfilling as a result.
Are you living in reality in the west women live on easy mode fucking hell m8 you have to be delusional if you think males care more about female attractiveness than females ive seen roided people who are jacked as fuck dating some over weight like are we living in some seperate reality
Ugly women are invisible. Ugly men can at least be respected in different ways, in their career, people can appreciate them for their humor and intelligence, and they often still end up with pretty women. Ugly women are some of the most mistreated people in our society.
I mostly agree with her, but on the Bella Hadid point; Bella Hadid is a super model. Bella is known for the way she looks and her "Ideal body". That's what modeling is about. It makes sense that people would like her appearance more than who she is, because that's what her success is attributed to. Otherwise, the video made sense
Good point
actually the reason we love bella is because she's pretty, if she were an entrepreneur or a photographer we would still love her because of her looks. Her success only exists because of her beauty, if she looked regular (like a lot of runway models) and had her current skills, she wouldnt have been this successful.
@@amrixtha no. Thatâs not how life works. How many celebrities can you name that are famous for their beauty, unrelated tot heir occupation? Almost none.
@@donshai_ Dr Mike is an easy example of this, come on
I think her point was Bella Hadid fit into the mold of modeling. Modeling wasn't altered to fit Bella Hadid, Bella Hadid altered herself to fit Modeling.
Unfortunately, a lot of what she said is true. The desire to be attractive has always been strong but I feel in this era of social media its absolutely raging. Being exposed to the top 0.1% of people constantly, photoshop, filters, the boom in plastic surgery. Definitely would make anyone feel inadequate, including myself to some degree. It's hard to feel attractive when everyone who exists (on social media) are all top tier physical attractiveness. Yet, this is actually quite rare irl. Regular people don't all look like super models. It's just what we're exposed to. It's sad to see literal children wanting to change their faces/bodies. Im sure plastic surgeons are having some of the best sales of their life tho lol.
Everythingâs accurate excerpt she needs to get of her fat ass and get in the gym. If youâre over weight itâs undesirable to everyone. Simple.
Here stand a border against white knights coming to cheer her up
Simps shall not pass
@@abdeldu133 I will stand guard while you cannot, comrade.
Simps shall not pass.
We're "exposed" to it because it's what people gravitate towards. TikTok and Instagram don't choose what videos people like, if anything they truly expose what peope really desire, which are the driving motivators of our evolution, beauty and sex
@@yungmetr0135 true
I've been on both sides, as a chubby teen with ethnic facial features and now a slimmer adult that's grown into those features. I spent a lot of time chipping away into my image with orthodontics, exercise, better make up and hair, etc. I will say, that doing all those things certainly helped a lot, but at the end of the day, I never felt whole/complete/satisfied/happy/connected BECAUSE I did those things. And that's the crux. We assume beautiful people are happy and fulfilled just by their appearance and social circle, when that is far from the case. You can have plastic surgery and slim down, but after the novelty fades away, you'll find that you are still picky and critical of yourself, so don't hang all your happiness and value on your appearance only- these things only act as a support to your identity but they are not what makes you, YOU.
Ethnic traits are utterly horrible i hate having indian trairs round face buf eyes thick skin how can any 1 say these traits are good they are awful
You're right!
yeah I can't even max my looks because I wore down my teeth sk much looking like a SQUARE
So true I lost 1/3 of my weight, my face slimmed down and my skin is clearer. People treat me nicer now, because of the way I look but thatâs all they like about me and I STILL have body dysmorphia đ€·đŸââïž
Agreed
beauty can not exist in a space where everyone is beauitful. it lives from being somewhat special.
@@CRM-114 no what would happen is everyone looks normal because everyone is beautiful
Exactly. If everyone was beautiful, then beauty wouldn't exist and would be a small minor thing
@@CRM-114 What? You said that if everyone got surgery, then everyone would be beautiful, but even though everyone would be beautiful, it wouldn't be normal? What? And the party situation doesn't work because you usually don't see a bunch of models. Let's say everyone ever looks like a model. If that were the case, the humans standards for beauty would shift to be even higher.
Lmao beauty doesnât make you special. You know how many ignorant, dumb and illiterate evil people there are that would be considered attractive. Thatâs fools gold. Thatâs why itâs about whatâs on the inside not always on the outside. Cliche ikno. Key point example. Jeffery Daumier. Now look how many women swoon for this man knowing heâs a serial killer and just might kill you. You canât fix stupid
@@Nick-qs8mp they meant unique when they said special. As in unique features.
Iâm so glad i didnât grow up with social media in the early 2000âs. I didnât have any awareness of beauty standards or what I even looked like until my mid 20âs when I was a stable adult. I canât imagine being so distraught over not being a 10/10, itâs bizarre. Most ppl are just basic looking and are living fulfilling lives
Answer to your question: no one wants to be a basic b$tch. They want to stand out.
Exactly. Who CAREs about being a 10? A great smile and a killer sense of humor will take you far in life.
@@missminti will a great smile with bad teeth take you far?
@@Jay-fv6xo
Yes there are attractive models with bucked teeth, or huge gaps between their teeth, and they're doing good.
@@Jay-fv6xo Yeah, confidence and warmth is highly attractive. Iâve dated men with bad teeth that were inviting and great to banter with.
Attraction is 99% physical and you can't trick our biology into liking something we don't
There's more to it than that There's the MHC complex that we're not taking into account
looks for the most part control attraction
Unfortunately no, for me its either i feel like i could have sex with the guy or i dont. No logical reasoning can change that.
Some extreme outliers too like voice if you have a really low scraggly voice as a 8/10 female you'd lose some attractiveness
It's not biology imo. Thousands of years have gone with different beauty standards. There was one time when having a healthy figure was seen attractive. Then hourglass like Kim. Now it's thin like a supermodel.
@@Ichigo-dh9rd Even babies know what an attractive face looks like
I agreed with Aysha in a deep level. 20 days ago, after my nose surgery, I was extremely exhausted with the idea of trying to be beautiful, be lovable, be ENOUGH... Where is the freedom of ugliness? Why do I have to be beautiful for people to be kind to me? So 2 guys and me and my friend got on the elevator at work and those garbage people, we don't even know who were they, bullied us for our nose, if you wondered the beginning of the story. Like sirs, wtf? Do I owe you aesthetic pleasure? I'm okay with not being able to take advantage of pretty privilege, but I'm not okay with treated this way. People should know that noone owes them beauty, but everyone owes eachother respect and kindness, at least silence.
"Do I owe you esthetic pleasure?" - wow, you nailed it. Perfectly said.
Yes its sad but thats how the world works. If you want to be respected, you need to look good
@Bluntly Speaking neither do they owe you "good treatment".
@@reardelt hey, you're allowed to find people unattractive but that doesn't give you the right to harass and bully people for it. Don't try and justify mistreatment here.
I know how you feel Iâm also getting rhinoplasty but Iâm saving up (any tips how you paid for yours). Thereâs this TikTok video with a series of people *the first time you realized other people thought you were ugly* and one person that stuck out to me was âI can take being ugly but I canât take being treated like Iâm subhumanâ. Man the pain in her eyes was hard to watch ik the feeling thatâs all Iâm saying.
What Aysha said was accurate . I agreed with her honesty.
Excluding the "big stuff" comment. Kinda generalises the taste of guys đ I really don't like big boobs and butts that these celebrities have... also I like tall women :| (I'm tall myself so np)
I agreed with her up until her rant about how everybodyâs beautiful. Didnât she just disprove that with the first half of the video? Lol. Objectively the people she just described are not beautiful, so I donât understand her point
@@bigpapi6688
The first half is societal value vs beauty she makes the point repeatedly that those women are beautiful and can be beautiful they just won't be seen as the primary standard for beauty.
@@bigpapi6688 all women are beautiful. it's just that for the past 500 years, the world has been dominated and conquered by the Northern Europeans, and many of us POC are living in european or white-dominated nations (canada, usa, australia). They control the media, entertainment, etc...they set up the beauty standard.
@@EpicVideoMaster11 The point is bad imo. The idea she is promoting is that your self worth is in beauty, which is bad. First she says society measures your worth with beauty (which is true, ugly men receive 300% harsher prison sentences and less empathy than beautiful men) then instead of rejecting beauty all together, instead she holds it on a pedastal and TELLS us to see her as beautiful. At the end of the day this is still problematic and she is being a slave to the same highly discriminatory behavior she criticized. She just wants to expand the "window" for perceived beautiful so that it encompasses her, when it is already insanely wide for women. Men think over 80% of women are above average, while women think only 15-20% of men are above average.
The prescription should be that beauty should not matter at all, not to expand the definition of beauty that would still discriminate against those less gifted
The irony is that Bella hadid was once just like Aysha- she didnât start off looking like she does now.
Yes, she has had a lot of plastic surgery.
@@fibbs6533 had her first nose job at 15
She still was above average, for plastic surgery results to work as good as possible, you need a nice canvas. For example, your middle face and proportions cant be changed with plastic surgery, that's the reason Khloe Kardashian despite spending millions on her face, she still incapable to look like her sisters, no hate intended.
For that reason, sometimes is better to go with a look that's easier to achieve with your natural features, like Aufrey Hepburn did when everyone wanted to look like Marilyn Monroe.
@@An-kw3ec above average? She looked average tbh I wouldnât consider Bella pre surgery above average but thatâs just my opinion
@@An-kw3ec Khloe Kardashian has a different father from her sisters. That is why she doesn't look like them.
It's true. Sometimes I try to tell myself to not care about what other people think on how I look and just be confident, but deep down, I know that there's a level of attractiveness that I just can't achieve and I can't do anything about it.
This reality is so brutal :"
What about Body Hair??? As a middle eastern female, I've been getting laser hair removal since I was a preteen and I always struggled with whether being hairless was something I wanted or society wanted. I've never heard you discuss body hair in terms of beauty. Could you perhaps make a video on body/face hair and beauty standards??
Search quoves body hair
Did the laser work? I am thinking of getting it as well. I have struggled with it for so many years now :(
Iâll tell u ion want my girl with no hair I mean some is okay if she doesnât feel like shaving but eventually she is going to have to shave it and no chest hair onfne đđ
no body hair better
No Arab care about hair
Get over not being ideal and work on the things that make you great. Go where you are celebrated. To someone, you will be perfect.
Exactly this, but instead they always rather complain, I hate this type of mentality and the worse is that it only gets promoted on tiktok
oh stop being ridiculous, everyone should be real here that none of that matters and you won't get validation unless you're pretty. Your self-worth can only come from yourself. "go where your celebrated" plz... stop looking for validation.
GRAMMAR.
@@missminti ?
Ikr lol just accept what is and move the f on.
It doesnât matter, I choose to not participate in beauty standards. If that means a life without a partner, Iâm content with that. I value loving and accepting myself as I am rather than participating in some bs system. I stopped wearing makeup to work, or even out. I stopped posting on ig too. I have no one to impress but myself. If we wear makeup and dress up for work, etc, we are just feeding this system. Yes Iâm in a relationship with someone so wonderful that allows me to be myself just as I allow them be themselves. By not focusing on the exterior, we are able to focus on the interior and what really matters. Love, communication, intellect, etc. We still work out for our bodies, we still eat healthy for our bodies too. We still nourish our bodies but we donât sell it. Your body is a vessel, appreciate it and accept it just as it is, then put in the work to maintain it happy and healthy.
In some ways I wish I could adopt this perspective, unfortunately my own requirements for sexual attraction to my partners body, dictate that I must also have standards for my own attractiveness.
Most sensible comment Iâve read under this video
Bet you ugly
âGet your life togetherâ
I agree with this! I thought I was more beautiful in my 20âs than in my 30âs but in reality, others see me as more beautiful now because Iâve achieved a certain level of validity in my chosen field. So perhaps physical attractiveness is not what young people should be obsessing about.
Studies consistently show that men across all age ranges and cultures overwhelming view women in their early 20's as most physically attractive, the correlation between profiency in a career field and beauty is almost zero.
that's not what beautiful means and that's an anecdote. Most women are most attractive in their 20's. Some women are outliers, but the overwhelming majority are considered more attractive in the 20's
@@nuclearlefthook5008 I guess aesthetically, a lot of women lose some of the baby fat they had in their 20âs and so in their 30âs look more sculpted
@@nuclearlefthook5008 Nicole Kidman, an example of a woman who went from beautiful to smoking hot in her thirties
@@zyyl1949 yeah but itâs not always about men. Lesbians do not care about what men think so maybe attractiveness doesnât evolve only about what men like or not
There's no excuse for not doing your best with what you got. I think I'm pretty average. Cute but nothing special. Prioritizing fitness, skincare, and grooming and researching how to dress myself maximized what I had so that now I'm generally considered "hot". That wouldn't have happened without my personal investment into myself.
For example: I can't change that I'm short, but understanding that height is a beauty factor made me realize that I need to work out and stay slim (bc gaining weight makes me look shorter) and wear clothes that lengthen me visually. That's all it took, no leg-lengthening surgery needed.
While I understand and agree with you the truth is, not everyone wants to focus on their looks so damn much all the time. I would love to be seen as good looking but I would much rather focus on building my intelligence and knowledge on the topics I am Interested in and living a healthy life rather than maximizing my looks. The problem with beauty standards is the ones that dont fit the cookie cutter are stomped on, bullied and treated very badly by other members of the society. You dont need to find me attractive to give me the respect I deserve for being another human being just like you. I deserve to be treated with respect and politeness the way I do for others. Beauty shouldnât matter here.
@@CindyWarren2004 Right I find myself sexy but I can't imagine obsessing over looks so much all the time. Must be so fuckkng mentally exhausting to live like that. I'm glad I focus on things that make me happy apart from my looks.
@@tessy28 samee. Ik with some effort and work I can be a solid 9/10 but I can't bring myself to care that much, its just not me. đ©
also maybe you should interview some people who have gone from plain/ugly to beautiful via plastic surgery and see what they have to say about how much their lives have improved. You would be amazed.
I see plastic surgery primarily as a means of correcting issues either from injury or malformation at birth, not as "something everyone should do". The majority of people are not the hottest or most attractive people. Most people have this or that feature that is attractive. It's just the way it is, and the way it's always been. People should be less obsessed with their looks. Less vanity and more healthy living goes a long way.
Exactly. Nobody should care that much about beauty to get cosmetic surgery. Alternatively, society shouldnât reward pretty people that much. For example, real estate agents donât need to be beautiful. They just need to do their job loool
And yet, humans have always sought beauty if not in human forms, in architecture, art, urban design and planning, military uniforms, essentially every aspect of life. Beauty makes us feel a certain way - usually a very good feeling. That has immense intrinsic value and it's not something to be taken lightly
@@Hannah-kk7wp "society shouldnât reward pretty people that much."
People will always reward beauty because it's in our nature. We like beauty in all things, whether we're talking about people or buildings, or anything else. But you don't have to be beautiful to look good. Dress well, take care of yourself at a reasonable level of care, and things will be fine.
âPeople should be less obsessed with their looksâ. This is ironic, coming from a viewer of the channel (like me). We should just admit weâre obsessed with our looks, otherwise we wouldnât be here.
@@gerunkwon2598 "This is ironic, coming from a viewer of the channel (like me)."
That depends on one's reasons for watching. I started watching out of curiosity, and watch the occasional video. I find some of them interesting from a philosophical perspective.
Am so glad I was born in Africa. The beauty standard (in my place) has always favored us African black women, not European standards. And everywhere I go I'm adored and accepted, I couldn't imagine trying to fit my natural bubble butt into low rise jeansđđââïž
Bubble? Damn
Agreed, I'm from southern africa and even beauty modification are taboo and not favoured by society, for example bleaching skin. People do it but it causes so much controversy because the public hates it.
@@BaDazai omg yeah I feel like in southern Africa, the more natural you look the better. Also definitely skin bleaching is not common down south. I also think people are already generally light. I have seen some shops try to sell those bleaching creams but they always end up rotting by the counter. Character tends to be more important.
@@dudleyred267 đđđ and I ain't even special, everyone and their mama got bubble butts in South Africa , dare I say even some dads đđđđđââïž
OK, but even in Africa some girls are considered beautiful while others are ugly, its not just the ethnicity that matters. I know black girls that are very beautiful and black girls that are not.
This channel is actually empowering
someone has to say it. Men don`t ever hype a women up based on appearance unless she is good looking. Women hype other women based on "the right thing to say" very often, and say " you are just perfect the way you are " , just lying to them constantly. its pathetic
Makes sense because it indirectly takes the pressure of them.
Because women see other women as person while you just perceive women as objects
@@victoryv116 wouldn't that be the opposite? telling a woman she's beautiful is boiling her down to her looks, and says nothing about her personality.
@@victoryv116 you took that a tad too personal
why is it pathetic?
hey qoves! iâd love to see an in depth video on that self-improvement pyramid, great video as always đ«¶
I'd like to request a video breaking down the pyramid and discussing each rung in detail . I cant read the bottom one at all because its obscured by the timeline .
Im an 5'4 Indian male and yes you can ignore the beauty standards. Just except some bitter truth.
The 5'4 Indian janitor đđ
@@fake-PSL i see
@@reiyuke itâs a combination of the worst of each looks feature into a single guy. Face, height, hair, race etc to disprove the existence of game
Darlin you'll be okay
Rich CopER's former roommate?
being fat isnt an ethnic trait. its an unhealthy trait. and you can always do something about it.
@@dantewitty3790 ethnic feature means something innate. So eye shape, skin tone and such.
Overeating is habit. If I ate what they feed their brides I would be fat despide not being from that tribe. If their brides ate a proper diet they would be slimmer even though they are from that tribe. Diet is not an ethnic feature.
So it's not partially true. It's entirely true.
Health issues can cause weight gain like medicine for cancer treatment etc. but yeh mostly it is due to unhealthy habits. Idk why we promote body positivity for unhealthy body types when we shud be promoting healthy lifestyles. Iâve had EDs so I know itâs v hard but that doesnât mean we need to celebrate being overweight or underweight when ultimately it can lead to complications
@@Ola-cb1xt lol i'm a weird guy i got white european skin with caucasian jaw but my eyes are indian lmao
@@Phoenix-ii8ff wdym your eyes are indian. What do 'Indian ' eyes entail. Pls explain.
@@reubennelson4086 lazy eyes
The sky is blue, it was blue yesterday and it will be blue tomorrow.
why did you say that?
@@cliffy987 As a people we have standards of beauty, we always had standards of beauty and we always will. Because there is a standard, there will always be people who don't meet that standard (usually due to laziness) you can hate the standard call it unfair or oppressive but the standard still exists like it or not.
So as a metaphor i spoke about the the sky being blue.
@@4rgone I thought: "Regardless of what standards are and whether or not you reach them, Nature is indifferent: the sky was blue, it is blue and it will be blue". This sounds more poetic.
@@Aknayros I acquiesce to your greater wisdom.
She's almost blackpilled...bless her heart đą
She is blackpilled though
@@SigmaLigma1 blackpilled to the bones. high iq at work
how incels are in this comment scetion? this is kinda depressing considering that type of ideology goes against what QOVES stands for.
People gonna overdose on all these pills..
â@@tattoocutiegal7629I've just started watching QOVES videos bc I find them interesting. Genuine question what exactly is their ideology ?
Could we get more professional opinions on the channel? maybe interviews with dermatologists, surgeons, dentists, etc?
The script for the video is written by him and professionals, he only reads i think
Yes actually, Iâm going to let more of the team contribute with more IRL content for 2023
I find it weird how you can group height skin tonne with weight. You can control weightâŠnot the rest
Skin tone*
Love your videos. I'd appreciate it if you could make an analysis on how Rihanna's wide nose somehow harmonises with the rest of her face and how it doesn't disrupt her overall facial attractiveness (Zendaya is a good example too)
Rihanna is very beautiful, she has that unique look. Zendaya is just overrated. Small eyes, wide nose, small forehead, thing
Lips and crooked teeth đ€·ââïž
Social media ruined the way people think
No. I just shows how people really are.
â@@CordeliaWagnerbut it also raises expectations and contributes to yassslighting of astronomical proportions
Jesus Christ one of the best channels on youtube, thank you so much, also the girl in the beginning so smart
Tad bit late for a video suggestion, but a video about how glasses affect physical attractiveness and how certain glasses can expose certain facial features would be appreciated!
Iâve lost a ton of weight from working out. Face sort of leaned out, and I actually took better care of my skin and it looks clearer and healthier.
None of that matters to women. You know who compliments me on my more lean physique? Dudes. Iâve always been open and a great conversationalist with people, (shout out to years of debate team experience/school plays), and despite me also improving physicallyâŠ.I donât ATTRACT women.
Why? After watching Qoves for a while, and even someone like Wheat WafflesâŠIâm a certified 5 in the face. Maybe even a 4-4.5.
It doesnât matter how much my body changed or how good I am talking to girls. So far, of all the girls I have been interested in and tried to talk to, my face isnât up to par. So the initial attraction interest never sparks in the first place.
This is REALITY for most people out there.
Try mewing
Well, you dont always get what you want. But you're better than people who watch wheat waffle because you actually tried to fix your body and not blame it all on genetics. Anyways hope you're doing great
you can still level up. wear air force 1s to appear taller, go to school to get a degree, take finasteride to make sure you keep your hair, and keep up within multiple social circles to make connections with women. iâve found thatâs been my most successful strategy, finding women i already have a friend in common with bc it gives a little extra oomph compared to dates with randos off an app
yo are focusing onlooks too much watch Hamza on yourtube to helo you understnd better
@@supitschillbro Height doesn't matter if the face is not good.
I actually find his response incredibly encouraging. I sympathize so much with what she was saying, and honestly feel like I've also accepted her conclusion, but at the same time, I want to believe that there is something I can do to make a difference in the way that I look. I've always been fat and pretty average looking in terms of attractiveness, and never had any clear idea of what to do to change that (outside of losing weight, which I'm now starting with IF and cutting sugar).
As much as there is that cannot be changed without extremes measures like surgery, I do think that there are at least some ways we can take back some control over how we look.
I donât always agree with the tiktoks you show, but I ALWAYS agree with youâŠ
The people that say they want to change beauty standards are usually the same people that look at the opposite sex, and say they want the person with the most conventional beauty yet will fail put themselves through the same standards or believe they are the exception to the rule.
The best way to change a beauty standard is to exceed it imo, easier said than done of course but the standard exists for a reason and will only cease to exist when sublimated with something better, not attempting to deconstruct or tear down.
Fr, most people I know who care so much about the beauty standard will still end up going for the most conventionally attractive person out there. They want to be viewed differently despite not being viewed conventionally attractive, and want to feel as attractive as people who are considered that but at the end of the day tend to the consistently do the same thing to the opposite sex that they do to them.
i agree the folks who want to change beauty standards are the same folks looking at the most attractive people of the opposite sex. What they want is to lower they beauty standard in hope they have more mating options with attractive people. In the end that never works the attractive people are gonna choose other attractive people as the main option in most cases.
Bro I love videos like these because it's literally reality and not this whole narrative society keeps pushing. You can "just be yourself" but depending on how far you take that advice (which most people take it to the extreme and never work on themselves internally and externally) you will always be in this fantasy lie that everyone should love you no matter what and thats simply not the case. Grow up and glow up lol
Video suggestion: Discuss what you think about Kibbe body types/Kitchener essence!
love the honesty in your videos. i'm really interested to learn more about the influence of weight (overweight/underweight) on attractiveness and what the most attractive weight would be since it seems like being a healthy bmi isn't the beauty standard (looking at models etc) but biologically being a healthy bmi would be most beneficial for reproduction. so why don't we see normal bmi's as attractive then?
They said in a video that 10% for men and 20% for women to keep their reproductive systems and overall body health
@@adamthetoad5852 thanks! must've missed that somewhere. most models are well below that, right? or am I just wrong thinking models are the beauty standard?
I just know I'd make a beautiful woman. I'm thin, with wideset eyes, high cheekbones and a strong jawline
@@TwistedLullabies good for you, i guess
@@jadekombe5227 they're way below that healthy body fat % most of them are around the single digit body fat
Honestly kindness is beautiful. Itâs inner beauty that radiates out. Beauty is skin deep, if u have it treasure it, if u donât, that okay too, you are still valuable and worthy, you do not owe anyone aesthetic pleasure!!!!
Lol. Men donât act so
As someone who recently experienced one surgery and regrets it I learned the hard way that you should love yourself and your flaws make you, you
What did you do and why do you regret it?
I may not be a beauty queen but I know my place in the world's beauty standard which is why it doesn't break me. I look like my ancestors so nothing is wrong with my body proportions, like them I'm healthy & active. Because I know where I am in the beauty poll I don't go out of the way to *act* sexy if I don't feel sexy embarrassing myself.
This calling everyone beautiful to me is doing more harm because the real world will tell you where you actually stand.
Should we call you ugly to avoid harm? âLook like my ancestorsâ wtf does that mean?
@sarah if you don't understand how genetics work or see the beauty in your own people that's on you boo.
Happy Thanksgiving!!!âșïž
@@yubelwish Well if certain ethnic groups do not hold the âuniversalâ beauty standard, then what? Please explain..
I'm not ugly, nor dark, nor short; I look like a typical Renaissance male model... Dark curly hair, olive skin, Roman nose, thick dark eye browns, brown eyes, etc...
And she is right. The standard of beauty is "Euro Centric". Let me clarify, the standard of beauty is Germanic; white, blond, and blue eyed.
But for women slavic women are widely considered more attractive than Germanic and Nordic, so there's variation within Europe itself too as to what's the standard
@@Abc-qq3pp every European ethnicity is considered beautiful for women (idk about the English đ€) , for men it's either the Nordics or the Mediterraneans as long as they are tall.
@@_my_insomnia_blink562 I'm not sure that's true within Europe about Germany, France, Netherlands, Belgium etc, but perhaps that's just personal experience in never hearing anyone for example say "German women are so beautiful", or "I'd really want a Dutch girlfriend". I agree about the Meds tho, Italy and maybe Spain in particular would probably be the countries women considered to have the most attractive men in Europe.
@@Abc-qq3pp Although there's some truth to this, I wouldn't necessarily say that Germanic, or western European women In general are considered unattractive by Eastern European standards.
@@ffhuii779 I guess it would depend on the region being asked. Even Slavs would probably have a hierarchy with eastern being the highest, and southern lowest. I agree tho
The point is not to be like Bella Hadid. But to be the best version of yourself by focusing on what you can change.
Chronically online, you can be valued by society for your accomplishments and skills. Itâs harder for a woman to do this obviously, because we will always be judged for our looks.
Also there is this thing that you should know exactly why you want that beauty so bad. What do you want to achieve with it? Do you want to build a career with your looks, or you just want people around you to like you more, or you want to be attractive in a romantic/sexual way etc. Because while yes looks matter the other thing is usually we just want SOMETHING out of that beauty, not just the beauty itself. Like yeah it's good to feel attractive, but it is never enough, there's always someone who you find more beautiful than yourself, and a lot of times we are attracted to people who are interesting, smart, good at something etc. Why chase some unachievable beauty standart when you can enjoy just feeling good in your skin.
In past I was really obsessed to look convensionally beautiful and I used to find A LOT of flaws in my appearance, and later I found out that I was just so scared that people will find me gross or unworthy, so I tried my best, while I never treated people around me the same way, and actually no one ever judged me for my looks, well maybe someone did but they were certainly not a good company. So now I really like to experiment with clothes and makeup but I care far less about whether I look attractive enough and more how I express myself, and I feel SO much better.
Doubt that anyone will read to that point, but if you see this and you feel like you are trying to achieve certain look that you can't, just stop for a moment and ask yourself why! It will be a long shot but it will worth it
But do men still treat you well, like you value, or are you dedicating yourself to being alone for the rest of your life?
A woman can be really interesting to talk to, entertaining, caring or whatever that makes her âbetterâ than other women, she could really stand out and have a special connection or whatever bs, but then the guys will betray her in seconds to win a favour with a cuter/hotter woman. Even if that woman is not close to them, and you know them better. Even if those guys are not good looking or desirable themselves.
Itâs automatic for them to watch out for the wellbeing of women most attractive to them and to try to be in good favour with women whom they have no chance with. Some donât even have to TRY for men to white knight for them. Meanwhile if youâre average they have no such instinct towards you, and the amount of negative comments, interactions or aggression for no reason is very high. They never EVER stand out for me, not once, only ignored if someone attacked me or talked badly, never took my side in conflicts. A guy could pretend he likes me and then stick out for other women he needs to impress at my expense, not being protective of me like of the random hot girl. Never got a valentine in whole 13 years of school. And later none of course too.
Bland women are used more often and guys go out of their way to find relationships with women above their looks. They will chase and chase even if they got no chance and she already rejected them. It gets ridiculous and you pity them. Meanwhile, they will act avoidant and not want to get âstuckâ with you if youâre not the best they think they could get. They would tell women they can have about their former crush that rejected them or obsess over exes who rejected them, idealising them clearly and implying noone can measure up.
There was a study that female partnerâs market value/perceived attractiveness levels determined whether men would bestoy positive investment into them & relationship, like gifts, etc. I remember how much i wanted to buy gifts to friends or someone i liked, but was scared it will look weird like im buying them because the thought of making me a gift wont come to their mind.
I also thought women with anxious attachment who continuously find avoidant or commitment phobic men are just⊠not hot or particularly beautiful. Like⊠I wasnât anxiously attached at the core, only in some situations where I wasnât welcome, was given mixed signals or messed with. But still im anxiously attached, because the situations where im not welcome are frequent and situations where im chased and obsessed over never happen.
This is why I love this channel. Because thereâs conventional beauty. And we knows itâs there because when we look at someone we automatically decide if they are attractive to us or no. Just as we perceive color or is someone is human or not (the uncanny valley). But then thereâs beauty we see from within. A person with two healthy legs itâs automatically deemed healthy and beautiful while someone with one might not be from a glance. But seeing them persevere and rise is beyond a physical biological beauty. The girl in the first video missed the point of self love. Itâs accepting yourself at a point you are now. Not trying to get the world to see you as beautiful. Itâs going off of the animalistic attraction of our human nature which is why it can be harsh and uncaring. An animal doesnât care about its mates personally itâs about the most healthy/beautiful mate.
Whoever say something like that "Everyone is beautiful, noone is less beautiful", they want to do literally nothing but they want to feel ok. All they ever did is just justifying their laziness.
Life is just playing with the cards that youâve been dealt
Dear peachie is a great chanel that helps offer other ways to get more attractive than plastic surgery that actually helped me so much
Very very good points! Thank youđ€
sheâs right and it hurts
edit: iâm glad you said plastic surgery is a last option and most people donât need it
Beauty is a lot of hard work!! Very few people are beautiful Naturally... Most people like to pretend that they woke up beautiful... I was ugly!! Had to put in a lot of effort to become beautiful now... And i have to keep on putting efforts because beauty is not permanent... And attitude matters plus swag matters too... How you present yourself even matters more... It's like a combination of everything at once... Only attitude won't work and sad to say you have to loose that extra pound ... But the good news is anybody can improve their physical appearance to some extent if they put in the efforts... The children stories are responsible for this concept of Naturally beautiful princess thing!! Now it is ingrained in our psyche.. Bella Hadid had to go though a numerous surgeries to attain the appearance she has right now so who are we... In life nothing is without effort baby and life is not fair... We can not expect it to be... So suck it up and work for it!!
i srsly love ur channel its so helpful to me
Darker? I thought we already established that no matter how dark your skin tone is does not mean ugly if u are fit and have symmetrical beautiful face
colorism and racism are factors as well
Sort of but colourism is present in many cultures & beauty standards. I agree that being darker doesnât make you ugly, but it still is a common mentality that dark=ugly.
If that was the case, then dating statistics wouldnât show whites being disproportionately desired by everyone (unless youâre implying that whites have more attractive people than other races, which is completely ridiculous)
Light skin is the standard according to most societies, and the vast majority of the population, in most societies, prefer light skin. Just like people prefer fit over fat. Just what it is.
I was bullied for being darkskin till i bleached. Darkskin to some people is unattractive.
Being brown or dark doesn't matter, beauty is beauty.
You forgot body and face shape
Skin colour do matter
I lost a lot of weight through being more conscious of my diet and fitness. People started going out of their way to do things for me and give me attention... Mostly men trying to gain my favor. It was such a turn from being ignored to a lot of unwanted attention... pretty privilege and thinness does exist.
Thank you for this.
Your best video yet. IMO.
BASED TIK TOKER đ€Łđ€Ł
After watching this video, I am glad I was born in India because here, beauty standards kind of don't exist(except for fair skin which is largely due to the 200 years of British rule...which is also slowly fading away) and it is probably because we are very diverse and literally every kind of feature exist here...from the fairest skin to darkest...all kinds of noses, eyes etc.
And to be considered attractive here you probably just need have an average facial harmony and good hair I guess. Besides that you will never be called ugly here unless you have some facial deformity probably.
And about body standards there are absolutely no body standards (just healthy weight) here for an average person( some might exist for celebrities!!)
Me personally being someone who has misaligned teeth, big ears, bid forhead and nose, asymmetrical face, and have been insecure for the way I look, I can definitely say that just a good hairstyle and clean face and clothes could probably get you pretty privilege here.
You can also look up Indian celebrities and see how all of them look different and none of them really fit a certain standard(except for light skin maybe).
If you reached here, THANK YOU for reading this comment which is the longest I have ever written.
Love you guys ;)
ya you are right!! Thankfully there are no rigid beauty standards and no plastic surgery obsession (except celebs). Being a diverse country really helps.
being lean/skinny is a big standard too
@@kaushy mostly for celebrities and for us locals it's mostly just a healthy weight. Nothing very rigid like small waist or flat stomach or thin arms etc.
@@rubal1109 there's no "healthy weight", but i get what you mean. thats why i said skinny
Beauty aside, in many many cases, "you need to lose the weight" is appropriate medical/health advice. Potentially increasing attractiveness is a favorable side effect.
Ufffff what a great video thank you so much, I always tried to improve everything in the pyramid and avoid plastic surgery since I think is a waste of money and is just a trick to keep spending on it Iâm blessed with good looks but ofc I always think about doing some tweaks on my nose, lips and jaw but I know I can just improve them with better habits.
This world revolves around a few things: popularity, money, or looks.
I respect her for her fluency in *factual statements*
Truth hurts
Thats why I like qoves channel because I've realised the ways in which I am attractive and the ways in which I am not
2 unskippable ads before the video starts? You're lucky I'm dedicated to this channel đ
Trying to improve your looks is such a constant struggle. I had braces, a chin surgery (bad dento-facial development, nobody heard about mewing when I was growing up), under-eye bags removal (also from bad facial development), now I'm getting botox from time to time. Luckily at least I naturally have a nice body which I'm trying to further improve by going to the gym. I used to already have a really nice bum but it's so easily lost if you work-out less because you get focused on other goals like your career... I improved a lot but I feel like it's still not enough, I still don't get the same advantage like some amazing-looking women. I think that maybe I should have gotten a jaw surgery instead of just a chin... And also now I worry that the aging will soon catch up with me and I will never look good enough đ€·đ»ââïž There is only so much you can do.
Bro you consider those extremw surgeries fucking hell real extreme surgeries aew lefort 3 or orbital box like the shit males have to do to look good is insane.
As a women every trait bad on a male is good your gender literally has less skull mass its so easy to look good as a women your born toturial mode how is this shit fair.
@@reptilesspurky937 well, they don't have too. Honestly, bad looks are not so penalised in men as they are in women, not even a fraction of that. Countless times I've seen below average guys with atttactive ladies. You just need something else to compensate. I've never EVER seen a below average woman with a handsome guy. Talk about fair.
And no, it's not easy for anyone to look attractive when your face did not develop as it should
â@@marie_anne_pariswell that's very different from what I have experienced my dad is a very attractive 6 foot man my mom on the other hand is very short and ugly and here I am a short ugly dude who got his mom's genes but luckily my sister took .y dad's looks..my dad still loves my mom a lot they have been married for years. Have a nice personality it really helps
@@deepakds4142 I have a very nice personality, but it means nothing if a guy is not crazy about your looks. I don't know, maybe your mum and dad are some kind of an exception. I get comments from guys that I'm sweet and lovely, but last example, a guy preferred another girl over me even though she treated him like a b*tch, but heyy she looked like a supermodel so... đ€·đ»ââïž
@@marie_anne_paris i highly understand since I m ugly myself but my mom owns a business and is rich also she is a doctor but my dad is engineer and unemployed eventually he joined my mom's business .my sister who looks like a model similar to my aunt gets away with lot of shit. It's not just men as I guy women have literally laughed at my face
I mean you simply cannot argue with the fact she is correct on the basis of beauty standards always win. As no matter what you want to do in this society your looks = personality. My personal lived experiences is getting extremely awaked interactions/social ostracization simply because I do not meet the stereotype criteria for a guy. As in I am basically skinny, below average in looks, and 5ft5 in height. This naturally gets me treated like shit. I don't even have to try in order to get poor mistreatment due to my lack of criteria expecting as being a guy Ie be tall, dark, handsome, with a lean body. I mean the girl is right from my experiences with neurotypicals you basically cannot deviate from the norm whatsoever when it comes to beauty. It's why people hates goth/emo so much.
u slayed so true i thought i needed surgery and since doing other procedures and changing my lifestyle i still want surgery but i dont feel like i need it
What procedures did you do?
Brillant, as per usual.
Someone said I was fat shaming because I don't like bigger people
There are other ways to make yourself desirable than looks (charisma, money, intelligence, etc.), though some are harder to get without looks
Said someone with a photo of a pretty girl on their profile pic đ we get it, it works for you
I agree with this video. I used to feel so sad and unattractive when I was a teen, so I spent a lot of time on drawing and create. Until I moved to the west and people think that I am attractive, yet for a short period of time it is fun but, soon I realized that didn't help me, cause the guys I attracted only see the shell of me. I was still unhappy, and feeling unworthy. They have no interest in knowing me inside. And later as I build up more my skill and improve my social skills I feel happier, not feeling as alone and worthless and I found the partner who sees me.
Exceptionally attractive people are being shown more because beauty is their asset on social media. And we have to question ourselves that why am I only watch videos with attractive people, why not watch videos with no people's faces on them? Why am I keep comparing myself to the person I am watching at? Can I watch a bald man talk for 3 minutes about happiness? What wrong of being valued not by beauty standards? It's a part of blessing Lizzo was not being prayed by her beauty at her younger years because she had sharpened the music skills she has and put her to the status she has now. And I have a lot of respect for that cause she I have worked extremely hard for it, that's something beauty would not give you.
And just another consideration algorithm is constantly calculating what we clicked what we watched, and the more we watch something the more is being pushed on us. Can we be sometimes a little bit uncomfortable and watch something else instead? Humans have lots of different calculation of values in beauty is one of them, and creating multiple assets is a way to improve our value yet not being consumed by the only asset we have.
Just like when you walk out of the door not everyone you see is supermodel attractive because not everyone has to be a supermodel.
Cuz being pretty doesn't give you the skill of being good at engineering for example. And being good with engineering that nerdiness can transform into an attractiveness that you wouldn't find on social media.
thank u for this
Looks=everything
big boobs is a beauty standard? ROFL. Tell this to Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell, Michelle Pfeiffer and literally 98% of models
With makes no sense, fat girls have big ass and boobs and skinny girls the opposite, is quite rare to have both, so being fat would be a good thing for her, but the thing is that shes ugly and fat, If she had a good face some men would bow for her and girls call her Queen, so the weight is the least of her problems
That was over exaggeration probably. Waist-to-hip ratio matters more aside from height and weight.
supermodels donât represent biology-based beauty standards of the majority of heterosexual men; they are chosen to make clothes look good, not for being maximally beautiful
High-fashion beauty standards are often quite different from conventional beauty standards.
cf. QOVES' video on Korean model HoYeon Jung.
No I agree with her. Iâm 90s thin. 100lbs 5â6. Small boobs and small butt. I meet the beauty standards but I still get over looked by men at times because of the lack of fully developed body features. Older men from that era worship me. But guys from my generation (millennials and gen z) see past međ€·đœââïž
I have a quote from my notes that translates a lot of my thinking process of this subject:
I should like to say two things, one intellectual and one moral. The intellectual thing I should want to say to them is this: When you are studying any matter or considering any philosophy, ask yourself only what are the facts and what is the truth that the facts bear out. Never let yourself be diverted either by what you wish to believe, or by what you think would have beneficent social effects if it were believed, but look only - and solely - at what are the facts. That is the intellectual thing that I should wish to say. The moral thing I should wish to say to them is very simple: I should say love is wise, hatred is foolish. In this world which is getting more and more closely interconnected, we have to learn to tolerate each other; we have to learn to put up with the fact that some people say things we donât like. We can only live together in that way and if we are to live together and not die together, we must learn a kind of charity and a kind of tolerance, which is absolutely vital to the continuation of human life on this planet.
i think its from Hitchcock
Beauty affects how people treat you whether they're seeking an intimate partner or not. There are outside factors as well so beauty is not the end all be all. However it is a start.
Lose weight and get surgery (or use other physical interventions) = Change. The point is the way you are requires correction. Parts of it are about how you were born and other parts are an indicator of health.
Perhaps paying attention to most attractive means they will lead us to attaining the same prosperity. However, it never seems to end. The thinnest aren't thin enough. The curviest aren't curvy enough. The strong aren't strong enough. Pushing the line where we start looking at synthetic beings as the peak of humanity.
The minority of people fulfil these beauty standards, as young people are the audience being targeted. I find Qoves fascinating but we all age, (if we have that privilege) & over 40, those standards you are compared to are still the same. At 58, I look into the mirror as little as possible, as I know longer recognise myself. I also look at old photos of myself at an age when I thought I was ugly & cannot understand why I thought that. I'd love for Qoves to look at some research into how different societies deal with beauty and aging.
wow
I agree. Everyone becomes more average looking with age. Ever go into an old folks home? Everybody looks the same. You can't tell who was once good looking.
Looking beautiful is not on your face first, not getting plastic surgeries on your face.
Most people see us from some distance. First get fit body and get healthy skin, then improve your hair and fashion style, then boom, you attractive even if you have facial asymetri
you are so professional
She is speaking facts
Someone who says the truth. Forget all the self love bullshit.... It's all about looks.
Honey, it's called sexual selection! It's not the society, it's human nature!
No, it's a mix of both. Some beauty standards like the fish lips are clearly cultural
@@nothing-jl2dz That is just a way to make lips more "appealing", just like (red) lipstick is used.
@@domrogg4362 but small lips have been popular in the past and also in other cultures
But society is a product of human nature
great video......everyone is now forced to tell everybody they are beautiful which has a deteremental effect on the person when they meet people in real life who dont pay them any attention.........another one is .obesity which is something that can be adressed by healthy eating and excercise not by forving people to lie and call it attractive its acttually a health hazzard that can also make your skin look bad
well said!
I think reality is not as bad as she's making it look like. If you're talking about social media or the fashion industry, yeah, you most likely need to be conventionally attractive. And beauty standards in general do exist. But it really isn't the only thing that can make a person valuable obviously. Bella Hadid is not a good example. It's literally her job to be conventionally attractive.
From my personal experience, 1. Beauty is really subjective if you're average looking and 2. There will always be someone who'll find you beautiful, again, if you're average looking (and the vast majority of people ARE average looking). And this is coming from someone who's not on board at all with the body positivity movement.
Though I think that these average looking people who are feeling ugly are either constantly comparing themselves to models, or are only chasing conventionally attractive love interests but end up getting rejected or something.
Most people don't really need to change a lot. Plastic surgery is, in most cases, not needed.
I do believe that people have to make some effort if they want to look good/better but that doesn't mean they absolutely need to conform to these beauty standards to attract someone or to be valuable.
I feel like beauty is just the easiest way to boost our lacking confidence.
From my perspective: the only thing we should care about is the biological/ Universal beauty standard. They are achievable and we should try to achieve them. It's lazy to blame the whole standard
We kind of already found it in classical Greek statues, it's been the standard of beauty to aspire to for 2500 years for a reason
@@tuathdedanann1685 for which parts of the world? We didnât have Greek statues in Africa? If you mean fit and lean then okay.
@@tuathdedanann1685
The Greek concept of 'kallos' in particular, they've already discussed this subject far deeper than we have in the modern era
Watch the small CZcams channel 'creatingattractive' that's his approach
@@tuathdedanann1685 Good point, nothing really changes and probably won't for the next 2500 years either
She digged really deep
One of the most revolutionary things we can do is to love ourselves. Love, in its true form, includes care, which can involve constructive criticism as well as compliments and affection. You can love yourself and seek to improve yourself, but strive for self-defined goals, not arbitrary standards set by others. If you want to be able to ride a bike longer without tiring, exercise for strength and endurance, not for a sculpted frame. Your body is your home, your tool. You are the one living in it, and you will be with it the rest of your life. You are your own boss.
Confidence goes a long way to making good impressions-- confidence with humility. Know your worth, but be just as aware of your own limits. Uplift others. Help others to love and care themselves too. The only way to progress in a society that criticizes us all on appearance is to enjoy life in spite of it. Beauty standards are in continual flux, and remember that no matter how "perfect" one may seem, there will always be someone who doesn't like it, just as some may like apple pie while others don't. There's nothing inherently wrong with the pie, but preference is human. Always has been, always will be, and you can't get around that. We can, however, strive to build a society that rejects prejudice/discrimination-- that means removing the prejudices you hold against your own self, so that you can extend the same grace to others.
I believe Beauty standards will not change because attractiveness is what the human mind loves. Being fat is just unattractive having a beautiful slim face and body is attractive. Beauty standards are good lol
And beauty standards aren't these rigid rules where if you don't fit into them then you can't be attractive.
Right now the standard is the Kardashian look but there's plenty of women with short blonde hair that are getting attention, same for beautiful black, Indian, and Asian girls.
@@Aaron-kj8dv exactly!
this is such an empty-minded perspective that people actually think like
@@bunnywavyxx9524 I know right? It's so sad
Its biology
The question is: would people still like Bellaâs natural face and body?
You girl speaking look quite nice actually !
i agreed with everything she said.
I think its not about being really skinny itâs better to be a healthy bmi for your body frame not be too skin and bones or too blubbery its more about being healthy and balanced.
I guess using the Lizzo example, you can take her thoughts even further to say that bigger women(perhaps ppl in general) , despite claiming body positivity/acceptance, still prefer getting with âin shapeâ men. Interesting stuff to think about .
Side note: siiiick use of the bleach soundtrack đ„
yeap. most people in general can only see one way. women might preach body positivity but go for tall and fit men whereas men who talk about height being unfair might still heavily prefer those with big breasts and other genetically determined things. to be hypocritical and inconsistent is to be human.
Yes, exactly. Thank you qoves. Western mindset have so much to learn from the practical yet hopeful minds of East Asians.
Beauty is perception. So if u Think youâre ugly. Just remember thereâs nothing wrong with you. Thereâs something wrong with the perception. So change the perception . And i leave with this quote by Audrey Hepburn to remember. For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.