4 Social Skills To Be Charming If You’re Quiet
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- čas přidán 15. 06. 2024
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If you’re an introvert, you may think that you’re destined to suffer socially. But one of today's MOST popular celebrities is a self-proclaimed introvert.
Even more amazing, Zendaya captivates people without pretending to be extroverted, which can feel exhausting and fake.
So today, you’ll learn 4 easy tricks to be charming as an introvert, without changing your personality.
Our writing assistant and resident introvert Hadley will walk you through them.
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
0:00 - Intro
0:23 - #1: Front load your enthusiasm
1:07 - #2: Use hand signals to capture attention
2:00 - #3: Speak through a smile
2:26 - #4: Listen with the intention of laughing
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#Zendaya #CharismaOnCommand
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Introverts appeal to people because they're easy to be around. Even though it's a common misconception that they're stuck up, their aura is indeed welcoming
Very true love that ❤
It's way more complicated than that.
Introverts can advertise as insular and unwelcoming as well.
They can also be easily dominated in conversation if they don't assert themselves.
My experience says otherwise. Being a good listener is ok, but from my experience, people expects you to talk more about yourself than listen to them. My extroverted friends who keep talking about themselves get way more attention and magnetize more people than me and my other introverted friends. Even someone who was also an introvert and even more shy than me didn't make our relationship last. In the school, the same stuff. In the university, still the same story. Extroverted people, who do all kinds of extroverted stuff (involving other people and activities with them) get way more people to listen to their crap and be around them.
Now, as an introvert, it doesn't matter much if there are people around you or not. That is true and it didn't bother me that I was alone for a long time (with the exception of a few close and also introverted friends). But you come to realize that most of the jobs you apply for, most of the people that you want to build a relationship with, actually require you to be more outgoing and extroverted. IMO, society as a whole is pushing individuals to be extroverted rather than accepting introverted people as they are.
@@sadiqabbaszade4789 exactly. And if you don't change you're left out in the cold.
@@rubin-healmysocialanxiety702 0õ
1. Only use energies when it matters such as introduction and then switch to natural energy level
2. Use hand gesture when want attention especially point figure up
3. Rendering smile
4. Easy to laugh never fake laugh
Thanks!
Nxt time keep heading, thx
@@AK41L ok
5. Look like a fashion model. That way people can't take their eyes off you, so they notice your hand gestures.
@@scratchy996 That should be higher up on the list lol
This channel is so valuable for people who struggle with being around others. My daughter is super socially awkward and watches these and has really come out of her shell a lot.
So wholesome to hear it!
Started watching these in high school now I’m about to graduate college with a strong social circle and a job in sales. No one can guess I used to be shy, awkward, and introverted in HS. Small steps that translate into real results. Would recommend a job that forces you talk with a lot people like sales
What age is she?
Thats great to hear
What is her age?
Introverts can be great socially, its just often they need time to figure you out before they will open up and fully be themselves around you. I think they really excel in one on one interactions, extroverts more so in group settings.
Yeah agree. I am much better and so much more social in 1 on 1 conversations or small groups up to max 4 people. Then big groups. And introverts are so so good in deep talks/topics and getting in deep in the slightes moments about everything. which can be sometimes feel so nice. And gives a bigger connection. And when i am in a 1 on 1 conversation i ofcourse can also easily switch to casual less deeper topics. But mostly (not always because sometimes you just need casual topics) prefer the deeper ones.
@@elviram7599 omg I thought the thing about avoiding bigger group is just me! I'm so glad to find other introverted person who actually think so too. I found talking in a group of four people is more comfortable and not exhausting much. Also, maybe it's just me liking even numbers, but I have this thought about a group in even numbers means that nobody gets left out when hanging out or walking altogether because I tend to see people walking in pair especially in a small sidewalk.
Same here. I haven't really struggled with social life as an introvert because I always hung out with 2 or 3 friends max at a time. And with everyone I have interaction specific to my relationship with that person.
Always works out, even being introverted.
Being the object of an interview as a celebrity is vastly different than being a regular introvert trying to converse with another person who isn't instantly intrigued by what you potentially have to say
Exactly since the introverted person is beeing activley engaged rather than beeing left out of a group conversation
Looking like Zendaya also helps
Well either we get assertive about wanting to say something, or we listen. So few people know how to listen. Most people listen to respond, not to actually listen. I think as an introvert my power is in listening, that’s what makes people wanting to talk with me, they feel I will actually engage with them, they know I am never just making small talk
Zendaya calls herself an introvert and that’s not the same as being one.
“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”
― Carl Jung
Keep it real my friends ❤
can we get a video on "Recovering from a bad first impression" or "changing their impression"?
I love your videos!
brilliant idea
Address the thing you did wrong and own it.
logan paul is a good example to use.
Great idea
@@DanielMores This! 💯
Being yourself is less of a drain.
Great video. I am an introvert and have no problem with who I am. I LOVE being an introvert, and am always busy doing things that create joy, but why do so many people think introverts need fixing? I certainly don’t! People and their drama absolutely drain me and crush my soul! I have a circle of friends and am content with just having those trusted people in my circle. I don’t feel the need to constantly make new friends or to even be heard. I don’t feel like anything is wrong with that.
i don't see they are trying to fix an introvert. But most times, people with this trait usually feel out of place among others even if they want to go along with them. It is hard to deal with smalltalk (i hate it, i am part of the team too) but sometimes we have no escape, we are humans and social interaction is part of our lives.
ok but the laugh that zendaya has around tom is that "girl around her crush" laugh, it's so adorable
i absolutely agree with saving your willpower for the most important moments of the day!
the key as an introvert is not to try to talk more, but to listen more.
people don't want to talk about anything more than themselves!
Truth
I find it hard to get people to open up an talk... sure it happens but certainly not always when i want it to
@@philsomething8313
the solution would be to direct the conversation onto their interests of course, but if you are doing that already i would suggest trying to show more warmth towards the person, by smiling and showing a genuine interest to learn more about them
ofc what i said is very general and it may not even help you at all, but i had to try and help a brother 🙂
@@RussellClausse thanks for the advice dude :). One problem is that i have worked with some of these people and only had surface level conversations now (2 + years), how could I find out their interests without it being awkward you know? Just feels kinda weird having known them for 2 years and i just suddenly walk up and be like hey what do you do for fun? lol thanks again dude :)
@@philsomething8313 there's nothing wrong in not knowing certain things. Just speak what about your fun activities and ask them theirs and if they question you for not knowing it, just a gentle smile 😁 and reply if I knew i wouldn't have asked and get back to the topic of what they do for fun and let them know that you are free on certain day and would like to join in their fun
I think that the introvert people are some of the nicest people out there.
Nah, just like everyone else there are nice people and complete jerks.
@@Proximity94 You really need to meet one of them and respect them before talking.
@@TheREALHugo4 I’m an introvert myself my man 😅
@@Proximity94 Which is also why i complimented them, i made a lot of friends during my studies (from elementary to college) and among them, i've met some introverts which were the kindest people i've met.
Also just like you, i'm an introvert and it is a good thing.
True but some people can take advantage of our helpful kind generous nature and it really hurts when we are betrayed by so called friends 💔 it breaks our heart ❤️ 💔
From personally experience, I thrived most when I worked on my self esteem. This video is great for learning to be engaging, but carrying a healthy confidence is going to make it or break you. Extroverts have a natural talent to discard this easier because they put themselves in the limelight to achieve positive attention and reaffirming their positive qualities. For us introverts, the key is not to rely on a crowd to support us, but learn how to appreciate yourself first. Once you learn to value yourself, you will expose in time the different layers that extroverts don’t take the time to discover about themselves.
The best comparison that I’ve heard is that extroverts are sparkling, they are eye grabbing and glittery. They hold a personality that has its own appeal. Introverts would more like carry an aura that glows, there is a quiet presence that captivates people in a different manner. There is a warmth and depth to introverts that makes them mysterious, a lot of people know there is more than the surface. Learn to embrace it and you’ll carry a vibrancy that is unmatched.
As a former introvert that this channel helped a lot, I can say that 1) being authentic and 2) a great listener for more extroverted peers to bounce ideas off of has effortlessly made me more likeable to people. Can't thank this channel enough for the gems it's given me to use in my work/personal life!🤜🤜
A “former” introvert? People don’t really change in regards to this.
Both of those are so true and important
Yes That’s very true. One of my extrovert friends once said to me, “You know what I like about? You listen, you always listen to me”
How are you not an introvert anymore? Is it possible to learn this power?
You can’t be a “former” introvert. It’s the way your brain chemistry works. A lot of people seem to think introvert means ‘shy’ or ‘unconfident’ or ‘socially awkward’. It doesn’t, it’s about energy. Introverts have an excess of stimulation and so a lot of stimulation (eg. Social activities) are draining/overstimulating for them after a shorter time. Extraverts have low natural levels of stimulation and so seek a lot of stimulation (eg. Social interaction, more prone to thrilling risk tasking behaviours etc.) Introverts can be confident and outgoing, extraverts can be shy and socially awkward. It’s not about that, it’s about energy levels.
Amazing! So many great points and narrated perfectly. Love Hadley’s voice, it’s so calming and confident :)
Hadley crushed this episode! I love your tips and your voice is so soothing and relaxing.
This video is so well made! I feel like usually these types of videos have a few interesting things and then spend a lot of time expanding that a little bit and giving lots of examples. But this one is so dense, and there were so many tips that I felt are actually practical and would make a big difference. Point 3 is weaker, somewhat of an interesting point, but maybe less immediately doable. But it's not negative, because the video is perfectly aware of this and only spends 26 seconds on it! Made its point, and moved on. Fantastic video!
1. Front-load your enthusiasm
- Use social energy in the moments that matter most (dance, big hug, big smile)
- Bring energy and enthusiasm to the first few minutes of conversation
- Transition to whatever energy feels natural to you
2. Hand signals to capture your attention
- Hold your pointer finger up while pausing mid-sentence
3. Speak with a smile
- Being a likable listener
4. Listen with the intention of laughing
- Make them feel funny
- Laugh freely when you do find something funny
- Watch something that makes you laugh
This could be the best channel on CZcams no cap, I started to watch a video from your channel everyday to be socially better and I learned so much stuff is just a week!
So, point, smile, laugh, and be a gorgeous lady
Wow loving this new narrator! Her voice is so sweet and lovely and she gave some great tips. I loved when she spoke about front-loading your energy, I’ll be sure to try that out.
This was a great viseo, and that final tip, about watching something funny before going out, is actually very helpful! Lately I’ve been doing it from time to time, especially when I’m about to hang out with many people, and it not only helps me relax but it really lifts my mood and I find myself to be much more at ease at the social event itself!
What a great video! This INFJ is truly grateful!
Remarkable person reading this.. It’s going to get better; all it is a season of opportunity to grow and be better than before. Challenging times are meant to strengthen us, not to break us. Success doesn’t define to what happened to us; it is how we choose to deal with our circumstances. The more you grow and develop as an incredible person as you are, the more things will change for the better. Forgive more (for you), be grateful for even the smallest things (we have it way better than someone else), choose love over ego, choose humility over ego (humility is strength), and finally, invest into new skills so that your future self will thank you. Our lives will change forever the more we grow. Be thankful for the challenges for we know something greater is coming. Love you always - Nathalie ✨❤️
Thank you infinitely for this, dearest Nathalie! Lots of love to you!❤️
Thank you for taking the time to write this, this will help a lot of people:)
These comments are the worst, but okay. People who have real problems don’t give a single f*ck about what you said
Literally turns into Zendaya
I am now cured 👍
So weird how I already do this but never heard anyone put it together like this. I thought I was the only one who struggled with this my whole life. It can sometimes be draining to socialize I never thought about switching my energy level intentionally. Really great tips
Thank you for this! Definitely gonna keep these tips in mind.
The handsignals is probably exactly what I need to do
The editing and splicing for these videos is prime.
More videos from Hadley! Love this
Hadley did a great job. Nice to hear another voice on this channel.
ngl this is my new favourite yt video. Its just so useful and informative and exactly what I need. Thank you so much kind people over at CoC!
Hadley killed it with the narration, awesome job!
So glad the algorithm brought this video to my attention! I love this channel, and as an introvert, these are all really great tips. (And great timing, too. I’m going to a party tonight where I don’t know most of the guests, so this is super serendipitous!). Thank you for posting these videos, you’re doing a great job!
I hope it went well :)
This is so relatable, Hadley did such a wonderful job on this episode, I could listen to her hype me up all day!!
Surprise guest lecture from the local introvert was great!
As an introvert who has put into practice building relationships and being considered funny and charming, this video is offering some excellent advice. I couldn't agree more with these 4 points.
A long time ago, I had some difficulties with talking to people and being in public. But, after I have done some work, I notice great improvements. If you are struggling right now, just know that it is all possible to overcome. Just keep improving yourself. Have a great day everybody!
Such helpful tips!! Thanks!
Haha, so cool. I was shy until 35... then... ...switched me to be not shy anymore generally and then I found out all myself, instinctively exactly this 4 things and since then I am going very easy through any smalltalk with people I know barely or don't like too much like colleagues... so, from my opinion, this tips are great. I would add: if you walk into a room with people where you would feel uncomfortable normally, walk in a tiny bit slower than normally and say "hi" 2... 3 seconds later than you would do, if you are nervous, I don't know why, but people like this very much and start smiling.
I find this channel more unique to other same niche channel because it's breaks down title and explains in detail ❤️
Many thanks for these great videos!
Love the advice. Especially cultivating laughing and smiling. I remember having a dream as a young adult and quite shy, where I had an ‘easy smile’ that made people like me. When I woke up, I went to see what that looked like in the mirror and then worked on bringing that smile out as often as I could. It took several years, but changed my life.
Using Zendaya as an example of an introvert? Maybe just tell people that to become a popular introvert it’s best to be a very pretty vivacious extrovert..
really good tips! thanks
Hadley, loving the voice!
That's really helpfull tysm❤❤🙌🏻
I think we all know the best way to do this is to be good looking
For the love of God, stop confusing "introvert" with "asocial". You can be an extrovert and shy, or introverted and outgoing. They are not related at all.
Introvert just means you need lots of time to yourself, and you get drained by being around people for a long time.
Extrovert is the opposite, you get more energetic around people.
So let's treat these confusions
People definitely use them way too interchangeably hey?
I appreciate you trying to help clear misconceptions, but there is absolutely nothing in this video that goes against what you just said, you said it yourself that "you can be extrovert and shy, or introverted and outgoing", and this video is made to help the Shy introverts to be outgoing there is nothing wrong with that, keep in mind that the ones making this video are actual experts on the social stuff so don't judge so quickly. But if your point wasn't about the video but some comments then nevermind and sorry to bother you.
@@e-madart9420 OC meant "How to be Charming as A Shy Introvert" would have been a better title
@@e-madart9420 You can definitely know all about social relations while missing knowledge about semantics in which I major, and hey, words have meaning, if we confuse them then what's the point? But yea, in this particular video they didn't mess it up TOO much, but in others they certainly did and I'm just trying to make the viewers know the difference between those!
@@daisiesandpandas1218 or better yet, maybe use the word "asocial" to make it more commonly used as it should, and try to clear up the differences between antisocial (psychopath)/asocial and introvert/asocial...etc!
#2 is huge with impatient listeners. ❤
An amazing video and love the new voiceover from Hadley!! As an introvert, I deeply resonate with this -- thank you!! The Zendaya example is the best
Wow binge watching this channel is really making me confident, time to forget everything in 10 minutes lmao
OML FINALLY A ZENDAYA VIDEO!
Zendaya's smile is so contagious I love her!
Great job, Hadley!
I love your voice! Nice video
That pointer bout to change my life 🥹
Finally, Idk if yall saw my comment about Zendaya and doing more charisma breakdowns on charming women but yes! finally!
Such great actionable and AUTHENTIC(!!!!) tips
im interested in this charisma school, does hadley teach any classes in particular? really great and id love to hear more!
thank you
Your videos are great and really helpfull. :) But If you would slow down the pacing a bit it would be excellent! Thanks again for your hard work!!
Hadley has a fantastic voice
great video!
Where was this video 5 years ago when i needed it
Listening is the strongest power of us introverts. With talking you only repeat what you already know, only with listening you can observe and learn new things
Good tips
Dat finger trick though. Going to try using that more often! 😬😬😬
Here’s an idea (I don’t think you’ve this done yet)
Could you do a video on how to carry a stronger presence?? Like you know how some people can walk into a room and without any words you can almost feel the weight of their presence?
Idk it’s something about people with laser sharp focus and charisma that does this but I’ll let you do what you do best lol
Remember, an introvert is not someone who dislikes being with people. An introvert is someone whose ‘social energy’ gets sapped quickly when with others compared to extroverts who gain that energy in the same situation.
As an introvert, you probably find it difficult to get a conversation going or continuing one after meeting someone- either for the first time or even after a long time of being with that person. You may think that you don’t have anything important to say so you ‘save your social energy’ for when you think it matters. The way I get around this is by having some canned conversations ready- this takes work, but having convo starters like how was your day? Or why did you choose the profession you did? Or even, do you have kids? All help to get the other person to talk more than you, thus saving your energy for listening (which you are probably pretty good at). When they ask you questions you can always answer as you wish and then follow up with your own question like ‘how about you?’. This usually gets people talking again (and again saving you energy). Next thing you know you just got through an entire 2hr conversation where you probably just spoke for 20 minutes of it. This isn’t easy, and requires a lot of prep work - run conversations through your mind, look up some popular things to use as convo starters (be honest that you don’t know a lot about a thing- most people love talking about the things they love, all you have to do is prod them to keep going by showing them you are paying attention even when you aren’t).
If this all sounds manipulative, that’s because it is. And that is ok. If this sounds like you, I hope it helps. If you think I’m full of crap, say so (and explain why)!
I love doing the point! ☝️
Growing the CoC team I see 😎
The Pause Finger is really effective - I definitely had a phase where I mostly used it for dramatic pauses right before my punch lines for jokes! :D
I've used the finger pointer when talking to someone who kept interrupting me, and he accused me of treating him like a child. Apart from that, this is advice I've never heard before. Thanks.
Smiling and laughing is so much work 😂
Wild to see Charlie backing off, even though hes been planning that for awhile
Need a video on each House of the Dragon players. Your original GOT vids were gold.
I'm a huge introvert, but I do generously laugh and prefer laughter as a default. I guess I realize now that subconsciously it's my way of making people feel at ease with my own unease. I think it comes from being an entertainer, and I know how it feels to put yourself out without feedback. Whenever I'm around a room of other introverts, I end up being the guy that has to hold court. In general, I think this all comes from a longing to make everyone feel comfortable. I also notice that the less I talk, the more people give me attention when I do have something to say.
You know I’ve had a someone disrespect me bc I was quiet and then he started to respect me more by being able to speak up for myself in situations as a quiet person
I’ll be pointing more from now on
Can you make something for People with ADHD or ADD. It would really help
Good job.
I can attest to these working. I naturally exhibit these qualities from since I was a child. The fact that I always thought they weren't normal to suit my friends made me become awkward in my 20s. But they apparently love me for all these. So in my 30s now I am slowly shaking off my awkward 20s.
I love Mila's authenticity barometer 😆 "I wasn't that funny!" 😆
Very nice
I swear the social battery sign "triggered" me. It makes me think of those moments at parties where I find a chair in a quiet corner and hope nobody talks to me. The worst case of depleted social battery i ever had was when i was working as a front desk attendant in a hotel. At the end of one shift, i was practically slurring, it was as if i could not remember simple words.
Always putting people on game.
00:33 - Front load your enthusiasm
01:13 - Use hand signal to capture attention
02:08 - Speak through a smile
02:33 - Listen with the intention of laughing
Support me. Thank You.
Ok
They made time stamps in the video already lol
front load enthusiasm (entrances & intros), use hand pointer signals, talk with a smile, laugh easily
0:29 Serotonin and oxytocin are the hormones during social interactions that get drained.
These can be replenished by having internal positive self-speak and as well having good solid achievable short-term goals that support your long-term goals goals. Then reflect upon your successes. This will continuously recharge your hormones of serotonin and oxytocin.
I hope this information helps as it has me :-)
new voice is fire
"self proclaimed". charming introvert is a thing that sells well and almost doesn't exist in real life.
It’s literally me
Please make a video about Austin Butler. He's a great example of an introvert winning people over without draining his energy. He's always true to his nature but captivates audiences with storytelling and personality techniques.
finally! let's gooo
I didn't actually had to watch the whole 4 parts caz I'm doing it without knowing I'm doing it, a natural ❤️ But hey thanks for letting me know. I'm an introvert too. & Love Zen.
Here for the woman voice over ! LOVE IT 🙌🏽❤️
reqwest - do vidio about how to interact with aspies
make sure its not about how to protect yourself from an aspie but about understanding them
Really weirded out that I picked up all these without meaning to. On reflection, they tend to work, good advice.
I'm an INFJ personality type shy but not shy at the same time i always had the ability to make people laugh some people think I'm Hilarious
Also work on jus breathing actually enjoying yourself and being natural. with practice and a little work i think a person can find their own groove. Its alot more fun and less taxing to just be yourself easier said than done sometimes but worth the work because when you're natural you'll come up with amazing stuff instead of trying too hard. I know I don't enjoy interviews when it's super obvious the person is just trying to get through it and get out of there.
looks.