how to make friends easily | tips for the socially awkward, healthy friendships, how to be likeable
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- čas přidán 2. 06. 2024
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This is how you make friends as an adult, approach strangers and keep a conversation flowing! I also cover friendship standards, green flags and the friendship wound 💕 enjoy!
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I got you covered 😉 20:19
Actually i wanted to know are you indian di and also punjabi because i feel like that because of your name ??
Girl u a mind reader?❤
@@sweetyneerukaur6840 yes I am! ❤
This is lit the thing I struggle with the most - i love you 😭
@@tamkaur ohh same i am also indian and punjabi ❤️
It’s easier making friends than maintaining them.
So true 😔
i need a video on this lol
You spoke facts
Yes working on my friend retention
This exactly happens to me but I think I'm the problem.
Friends who love to party and drink should not be the only friends. Make friends who have different lifestyles and hobbies.
Facts
True
I have quite the contrary and I need more outgoing and confident friends 💀
@@Elayourfella me too
@@Elayourfellame too😭😭
Being ignored and ditched by my friends as a kid, made me a person that thinks I'm a burden to everyone, and that my (same and potential) friends actually hate me. I'm trying to learn how to not think like this, but it's so difficult, it's made me avoid people. And since I'm not in school anymore, not going outside makes my lack of social skills really show lol. It doesn't help that I've always been a quiet person too. I just hope I can eventually become more confident... 😭
Hi, as the one who was bullied for being a good Student in the primary school I feel what that feels. I'd tried to make up, to be aware that is not fair in this world needs a huge powr.
I'm so proud of you for trying
This! I feel u!
exactly this. Now i think everyone hates or envies me so i can't maintain a friendship with them. I overanalyse everything they did because i have trust issues.
Felt this so much wow!!
I feel the same way
I'm mostly misjudged as a "mean girl" since i have a resting bitch face. The fact that I'm socially awkward and tend to accidentally ignore people (bcz Idk how to fcking communicate 💀) also doesn't help the case.
Tbh I'm actually a really kind person and love to meet new people but because of poor communicating skills I'm not able to do so. This video was definitely needed 💗
Story of my life 😭 I used to avoid talking to people, cause I would get anxious and think that they would be annoyed by me talking to them. I would literally make direct eye contact with someone, wondering whether or it’d be ok if I said hi, and will say nothing 😭 and then I feel bad cause they’re always saying hi first. I had to tell myself that it’s never that serious, and that people won’t mind if you talk to them. Ever since I started going by that, my social life improved so much :) I don’t have the strong friendships that I want/used to have, but life is a journey🙌🏽
Yup me too, but on the bright side, having an rbf means that strangers and creeps don't talk to me!
Im misjudged for not even being alive
I have a RBF but it’s like a defense mechanism. I try to look approachable but it’s hard cause I don’t want to always speaks first.
Same
As I was watching the green flags my mind was like "THERE ARE ACTUAL PEOPLE LIKE THAT??????"😭😭😭
😭😭😭😭
are there??
Something that I’ve needed to learn is that not everyone needs to be your ride or die! It’s good to have a few ride or die friends but it’s okay to have surface friends too. You shouldn’t have really high expectations of people and immediately drop them when they mess up because I used to do that and I had no friends. And you don’t need to have one perfect friend you can have a lot of people who you relate and like for different reasons.
What do you mean by "ride or die friends" ?
Idk bc I can't open up to ppl I don't trust and it drains my energy knowing they aren't real
@@nataliaaa18 What I mean is a friend who you want to be completely devoted to you, like a best friend. I don't think every friend is meant to be your best friend.
@@joanna48162 To me there's a difference between a fake friend and a surface friend. A surface friend is just a friend you know because of something you have in common(an interest, friend group, club, sport, etc.). Surface friends are definitely real, they just aren't as close as a best friend. I can trust my surface friends, but they aren't the people I immediately go to when I need support. But, having a lot of friends isn't for everyone. Some people enjoy only having best friends and no surface friends. To each their own, but I find myself a lot happier having more people in my life who I can relate and hang out with.
True took me so long to realise this now I am a surface level friend with many people and we have our own inside jokes and fun
I found friendships overbearing in the past now it's so much easier and I am really happy that one person isn't draining all my energy
5:35 green flags
5:58 questions
7:37 healing 9:20
12:28 chapter 3
16:09 where to meet ppl
18:38 what to talk abt
22:00 how to become more likeable
Helpful ty x
Tysmmm
Thank uuuu :)
1.-Go out alone & Aproach without hesitation (ask for a opinion, give a compliment)
2.-Clubs, sports, any hobbie u like
3.-Tiktok, Facebook or slide into someone dm's (social media)
4.-Don't be a pleaser to try to MAKE THEM like u, be cool & chill
5.-ASK & LISTEN
6.-Resalta las cosas en común
7.-Se espontánea, ríete de ti misma
8.-Ask for a opinion & talk positivity abt ppl
Your talk on friendship trauma was so real, thank you for talking about that. I just recently realized that I isolated myself from my best friend because of something that happened with my highschool classmates. I really appreciate your videos 🤍
Same situationship happened with me also
Hope this summary helps😊:
1. making friends can be easy.
2.green flags are positive energy, trust, loyalty, respect, vulnerability, alignment,effort and communication.
3. Set your standards eg what experiences do you want together? Their traits? Shared values? My expectations? My non-negotiables?
4. Be open, loving and trusting to allow the right friendships to come into your life. You are worthy of friendship. How you was treated before (badly) was more to do with that person than you (dont let bad experiences ruin your future).
5. Why do you want to make friends? What can you bring to the table? What kind of friend do you want?
6. Take small steps eg send the text. Build up from there. Stop making excuses as that’s self-sabotaging. Be compassionate & patient with yourself up.
7. Take up a regular hobby/exercise to find like-minded people so you can talk about interests.
8. Could use social media eg tiktok to ask if there’s anyone else out there (but do be careful with strangers).
9. Focus on listening as people love talking about themselves, so ask them questions and compliment them. If they share something, you could too but don’t overshare something you’ll regret.
10. Repeat back to them what they said in your own words. Radiate positivity, be light-hearted & smile. Talk positively about others.
Good luck, im on my own journey too❤
Also staying authentic & being genuinely you❤
Hey can i say you something???
Where ever i go i meet people and i noticed a thing is that every single person has a bestfriend...they just talk to me for time waste...after their best friends come they forget me or ignore me...i feel sad because everyone does that with me that's why i can't even make a genuine friend who loves or listens to me
How can i make friends even in this situation???
i recently started watching your videos after a messy breakup, and i love your content! i’m currently building up myself and my confidence little by little. a literal godsend! thank you so much!
You got this!🥹❤️
@@tamkaur aaaa!! thank you so much!! 🥹 you’re such an inspiration and i can’t thank you enough for your impact.
me too.! wish you all the best💖✨
@@dharnasomkuwar_ thank you so much!! i’m doing a lot better now since i started watching tam’s videos and i’m learning to appreciate myself a lot more everyday. ((: here’s to learning to loving and treating ourselves right!
girl same! i hope we'll get better quickly
i have just finished your video on toxic friends, and I started following and watching you TODAY. Tomorrow I have a new friend to meet (we meet via online ) and I was just thinking "I wish she had a video on how to make friends as an adult" AND THEN YOU POSTED!!!! YOURE AMAZING!! You anticipated the needs perfectly.
Omg this makes me so happy. Hope it goes amazing!!!❤
@@tamkaur It went A MA ZING !!! Thank u so much for your advice xx
i have very high expectations and goals for myself, but no one in my friend group does. i’ve been in this same friend group for two years. last year i did not perform good in school and was not involved whatsoever because of them, they made me feel silly for caring about all that. this year, i have been doing what i want but i still let their opinions affect me. they are extremely negative about the things i care about and very bitter. the issue is i don’t know how to find other friends and i am scared to sit alone which is why i still go with them 😭
try to not influence by them
I'd rather be alone than with people like like that tbh. You gotta respect yourself
@ matcha444 I can relate to that. A friend of mine lets me feel uncomftable very often when we meet because of her character trait to boss all the people around. Unfortunately, I seem to be the only person of our group recoginising it and thats why it is so hard to talk about her with sb else.
Same so I left
That really sucks. I can imagine you probably feel stuck 😢
These are things that have taken me YEARS to learn on my own and am still working on. Your channel is an absolute gift.
Hi, as the one who was bullied for being a good Student in the primary school I feel what that feels. I'd tried to make up,
I'm so proud of you
I didn't even know friendship trauma was a thing till now, thank you💗this video has literally answered so many things about friendship I had on my mind for a while now
I have a-lot of friendship trauma, I could write a whole essay about how it effects people in ways we don’t know about. I’m still working on my personal stuff but this video definitely helped❤
Friendship trauma is very much a thing trust me, I cut off many people because I was giving too much when I didn't know my worth
And sometimes it just ends on weird terms my tip is that if you're not ready to let go but you know you need to then just write them a letter don't send it just express your feelings and it'll be peaceful after you get everything out and along the way you will realise how positively or negatively it effected you
@@Flowerboy813ahahaha same
She is honestly soooo underrated, she has less videos but all are soo meaningful and useful, thats exactly what we call quality more than quantity
this means so much to me ❤️🥹
you are literally that friend and energy I love having in my life... and hanging out with you through your videos has actually helped my mental health, recognising my value, and just appreciating the strengths of positive energy... loving this community ♡
Hi, as the one who was bullied for being a good Student in the primary school as just a Baby. I feel what that feels. I'd tried to make up, to be aware that is not fair needs a huge power.
I'm so proud of you
People telling me to “talk to people, start a conversation, it’s not that hard” is like telling a smoker “just quit cold turkey it’s not that hard”.
I'm really struggling at making friends and socializing, and your insights have been incredibly helpful. I appreciate the tips and advice you shared, and I'm looking forward to putting them into practice. It can be difficult to put yourself out there and connect with new people, but I'm feeling more confident and motivated after watching your video. Thank you for taking the time to create this resource!
Im having the same problem, let’s do it together
@@marianasilva3277we got this guys, it’s my last month as school, so I’m really trying!! hope it’s all been well for y’all.
I know right!!!! These tips are amazing, and it will be so so scary but it will be worth it
@@clavicle3193how you doing noww?
watching this makes me realize what an amazing friend group i have. i used to be surrounded by toxic people since literal elementary school days. through the last couple of years the original trio in my class, who were always in their own world kind of like adopted me 😭 now going into my last years of high school, i couldnt be more grateful as they are the most loyal and amazing people i have ever met
Honestly, thank you so so so so so much for this video. During quarantine, my socializing skills got SO bad, and I'm also lowkey scared that people don't like me because I'm ugly or weird, or gross or something, idk. But rn, it's summer break, and one of my goals is to become more confident so yeah. THANK U
lol i’m in the same position. I think i should make a list💀
Can we be friends?
Watching you speak like you do made me feel SO much more confident. I thought a girl in my class was going to be my bestie but she said i was negative and she said she wanted to be with friends that are more energetic and i did so much for her and I went to her if she needed help but she just walked away . She clearly didn't see what i was actually like. I was being kind to her and in return she was just mean to me. Now I feel like i can make a change when i see her again.
i took a good baby step when i started actually starting conversations with my brothers girlfriend and now we laugh all the time about embarrassing shit we do lmao shes pretty fun to hang out with.
I was neglected as a kid and moved places 12 times. Never had a good friend group. Its hard girl
I swear I came across your channel accidently but this accident was the best as I feel so happy listening to you and making myself a better person.
Hi
How are you☺?
Making friends is so hard, but this video gives great tips on how to make it easier, especially for socially awkward people.
at the same time friends also has a negative connotation, like if you meet a group of friends, you are not part of them, they have a history and a way of talking and you may feel like an outsider and they may see you as not one of them.
WOW! I just recently found your channel and i gotta say, I LOVE YOUR ENERGY!! Also,you have no idea how much your advices about changing mentality have been helping me. Thank you for the good content!!!
great tips 💕 i loved the examples and the friendship criteria was so spot on
i just found your channel very recently and let's just say it has been incredible! your videos have helped me so much, especially your confidence ones, as i'm trying to build up my confidence, your channel means a lot to me so keep up the good work and i'll continue to watch and support
This was SO HELPFUL I’ve been struggling with making friends I actually connect with so thank you so much for this video❤️
It’s so beautiful to see how as we evolved as humans we meet different people on our paths ❤
Girl you're literally the big sis I never had
This was so helpful!! I was feeling sad about high school but you helped understand the thing with friendships thanks
THIS IS JUST THE VIDEO I NEEDED OMG!!
My problem is that I'm mostly sad/really anxious, and it's impossible for me to smile and be positive because it just feels so fake (I've been struggling with friendship and social skills since my early childhood). I remember wishing to be given a step-by-step instuction on how to talk and communicate with each person I meet like Sheldon Copper's relationship agreement. There are definetely lots of good advices on this video and I'm really thankful😊
She's got every topic covered in her channel. Ahhh ✨🦋
This has seriously been one of the most helpful and engaging videos I have watched in a while. Thank you so much for putting the time into making this video, it made me feel more connected and understood!
I’m SO glad you posted this. I literally cried when you talked about the self sabotaging part bc I’VE been doing this to myself for years now. And having someone my age talk about this subject so deeply really makes it resonate more. ❤️
i love this video! this is the first time I've actually seen someone on CZcams give really detailed advice that i can try to use i feel like a lot of people can be really vague when talking about things like this so thank u i will try to push myself out of my comfort zone
LOVE THIS so much! I have been watching a lot of your videos lately and this was the one I finally realized I wasn’t following you and I clicked and made it official! Thank you! Been late on creating a vision board for the year and a good friend group is something I have been working on and wanting for a while so I wrote down your list to add next to some pictures. ❤
Tam you were heaven sent! I’m really trying to improve myself and I can tell that your videos (in combination with me working on myself independently) is really gonna help!♥️♥️
Active listening is the greatest skill I ever learned. Great point you raised.
Wow so much helpful info!! This made me realize that I need to look within to find out what I truly want in a friendship
I answered the questions you displayed and I can’t thank you enough! I can now see what I truly value and literally see why so many friendships never worked out! This video has helped me a lot on my healing❤
you are the kind of friend I wanna be with 💕 love your energy sooo much 🥰 thank you for this video ❤ I am confident that my future gonna be full of beautiful friendships truly meant for me 💕
you are INCREDIBLE i swear to god
Thanks for this video! Today has literally felt like doomsday to me as my best friend for the large majority of my life has started ignoring me and this is shortly after losing my other best friend due to us just becoming distant, and without both of them, my self worth has basically shattered. However this video has really helped me gain the confidence to pick up the pieces and keep moving and not decide to close myself off for the rest of my life.
amazing! this is just what i needed. i had tons of friends in high school, but it was ridiculously easy to make friends around then. now that i'm in college, i'm a bit of a loner. i only have 1 friend and that's my roommate. i'll make sure to take all this advice
I have always struggled with making friends and taking to strangers. I reailsed a lot and i look forward to put the tips in practice. You r amazing and U covered everything perfectly.
Such a wonderful video, thank you! ^^
1. repeat back to them what they just said
2. ask advice
3. talk positively abt others
4. radiate positive energy
Heya Tam!
I was worried regarding my life from past few months as I have faced both toxic friendship and relationship. Fortunately I found your channel in my healing process. I am following your tips since a month.
I can relate to each of the points you discuss in your videos as I wanted the same life for myself.
Thanks for being a true and genuine guide!! You're a saviour.❤
You are so relatable and intelligent 😩
Your energy 😊🤍🤍
i love your energy so much 🥹🥹
This is actually a REALLY good video! I’ve been realizing I that need to make some new friends and when I go to a new school I’m gonna need to make them QUICK. Because it’s always easier to make friends at the beginning of the year because I don’t want to be left out, or in a bad clique. Thankyou!
girl last month you had 3.9k subs around!! and i knew it you gonna blow up cuz the topics you choose to talk about are amazing and that's why i subscribed you this instant 😭😭!! now you about to reach 100k yayyy
ahhhh THANK YOU 😭✨💕
Wow this really hit me deep. I almost stared crying, thank you so much for the advice. I need to start taking control of my life and have the confidence to complete it. I will try my best to follow your advice! 😊
Thank you for bringing up that you should be choosing friends rather then just making them. Personally for me I’ve had tons of friends in the past and I always thought I wanted a lot of friends my whole life because I was raised with like no friends at all. So once a group of girls actually wanted to be my friend I was blown away and I put my all into those friendships because I’ve never had them before. What I’ve learned is people take advantage of you if you seem desperate because they think you’ll never leave them. But if you’re ever being treated badly in a friendship you need to think about yourself first. I cared about these people so much that no matter how bad they treated me I would forgive them just to try and help what they we’re going through and not hurt them by leaving. But eventually I had to leave once they started to hurt people that were close to me too. Now I have one amazing friend and that’s it. But honestly I’m ten times more happy now. But I’m still open to making more friends of course but sometimes I feel like I put too much of myself into friendships to the point where it’s too hard for me to leave and I don’t know how to fix that.
Watching your videos is like speaking to a wise friend or a therapist as it brings so much calmness, soothes and makes me feel seen and understood. You are a wise woman indeed. Keep going! Love from India.
as an autistic person who also has social anxiety, i just wanna say tysm !!
these vids really help me a lot and i wanna be more of an outgoing person, and these are extremely helpful !
Thank you sooooooo much Tam ❤ Loads of love to you 🦋💐💝
This is actually very good video, I randomly stumbled into this and am very impressed!
I don’t usually comment on videos, but this was GOOD, girl! Amazing structure, and such helpful, thorough, insightful content! I feel so clear and inspired to go forth and friend
Thank you so much!!
I love you!!!! your vids have been helping me reframe my negative inner dialogue whilst Job hunting
UR SO FREAKING PRETTY, HOWWW
YES YES YES!!! omg I didn't know how much I needed this video till I watched it!! Thank you for this AMAZING information!!
✨You are literally a life saver ✨
you are my savings teenagers
Lots of love from my side ✨
I have discovered your channel this month and truly enjoy your energy. It is easily shared through the screen 💚
Thank you so much!
I’ve been watching plenty of videos every day on youtube but never commented on any videos. But u made me do it today. I’ ve been watching yr videos & u girl slayed in each one. Thank u for such a amazing talk. Love you ❤
Can’t wait to watch this!! I’ve been changing my life these past weeks and having you along for the ride has been so motivational❤️ You are incredible :-)
Also so proud of you to see you getting all these sponsorships!! You go girl💗💗
You got this!❤️
Hi
How are you☺
i literally needed this rn rn 💗
I got you 🥰
Much needed.......what a timing 🥺
I just wanted to say that i recently found your channel, and your videos are so therapeutic to me. You feel like an older sister giving me life advice, which is so nice because i never really had a female figure to look up to. Im actually around your age, I'll be 22 in a month, but these videos are just so nice and comfy to watch, and just what i need at this point of my life. Thank you, girl, you are so appreciated 💗
🥹💖
Hi
How are you☺?
i just went through a friendship breakup and reallyyyy needed this. thank youuu!!!!!1
❤️❤️
This video was very, helpful, most escpecially healing from friendship trauma Thank you.
I loved how this video was so complete and you talked about everything
Thank you sooo much❤
i was legit thinking about this topic while watching your videos yesterday omgggg
Perfect! Hope it helps!! 💖
I’m such a huge fan, you boosted my self esteem and happiness ❤
I’m so glad thank u🥹
Welcome, and thank you 😊
Girl thank you so much! I really needed this lol 😭
Girl, You help me so much with this(!!!)and I just wanted to say thank you! Especially the part where you say that past failed friendships are not our fault really got me🥰I appreciate your work so much! Thank you for the value you put out there😍😍😍 It’s so great to know that we all grow together🥰
I absolutely love your videos so much, I think you are so wise and I’ve truly learned so much from you! Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. You should really consider starting a podcast! I swear I would listen to every single episode haha
Hi
How are you☺
podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/tam-kaur/id1675911426 it’s available on apple and Spotify!
Thank you to give us this big hope ❤
loved this one! Thank you so muchh
Since I discovered your channel I feel my mindset has shifted for the better ❤ can you please make a video on how to deal with toxic people at work ?
Great suggestion ❤️
Thank you so much. You help me a lot advices. I always struggle to be myself and sometimes I’m nit myself and not really confident but this video help me:)
Omg you liked my comment thank you so much
perfect timing. Tysm
Ur eyeshadow is so pretty eyeliner lipstick and accesories on point 🥺 the thumbnails to all ur vids are also so cute
Before finding friends as mentioned in this vd make sure you are also worthy to those people....😌
^^
I just entered the university and in my country it works differently, but anyway the same human beings, thanks for the tips ❤️
THANK U FOR THISSS ILY GIRL
I really needed this video!! Im so glad I found your channel
Thanks tam !! Much needed , I recently moved to a new city and it's hard to make new friends as I'm socially awkward 😅 hope your tips help me ✨
I hope so too!
Thank you so much. When I first started to make friends it was really hard for me and I didn't no what exactly to do and how to make them interested in me. now with your advices I know how to make conversations with people that I might will try to connect with.
THANK YOU SOO MUCH THIS HELPED SO MUCHH
Thank you so much! 💗 I'm trying to make new friends since I got alone recently.
It would be great if you make a video about maintaining friends, since that's more difficult to me than making new friends, I know this has to do with my behavior but I don't know exactly what so I would love to see your opinion on this that happens to many people like me.
Can I be ur friend?
I know this is a month old video so you are probably not gonna read my comment, but I just got to say that this video made me feel happy and confident and ready to make friends. It also helped me relize its not that hard and I have nothing to lose. Thank you for letting me know this
We have the same name
Dear Tam! You are incredibly good at making such useful content on CZcams.❤️Thank u