VLOG: ADDRESSING IT! week of workouts, midlife crisis? moving, events, influencer tea| DESSY RAY WAY
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- čas přidán 31. 07. 2024
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What's good Ray gang :)
Welcome back to another vlog! I don't know about y'all but I've been missing the "home-y" Houston vlogs a bunch. I miss just running my mouth with y'all for hours haha. I think this one makes up for that! LOL We get into a lot this one: addressing the elephant in the room, am I moving? influencer tea, midlife crisis? (uummmm??), week of workouts, plus so much more. I hope you enjoy this one Ray gang :)
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00:00 Intro
00:22 Lower Body Routine
02:36 Welcome Back
08:01 Target & Sephora Haul
19:02 New Nails
25:38 Upper Body Routine
28:12 Influencer Hacks
35:32 Cava Run + Order
42:30 Vulnerable Car Rant
55:46 Cardio & Core
57:50 Influencer Event
58:40 Outro
Ladies PLEASE PLEASE don’t feel like you’re a waste at any age during your journey. Dont let society or ya mama tell you what you should be doing or have at any given age. Life is different for us all. Just do your best to create the life that you want for yourself while giving yourself a little GRACE. We’re not perfect and we don’t have to be. You’re doing a great job regardless. And if you’re not, tomorrows another day to get it right. Y’all be good and good to yourselves ❤❤❤
AMEN!!!!! @msbarnes1281
Thank you for speaking on this. Women of all ages need to hear this.❤
You are such a light!! Thank you 🤍
This!!!! ❤
I just turned 50 and am still single. My mom passed away this past December and I was just laid off. All through my 20s and 30s l, I watched my friends get married and have children. I graduated from collage later than they did and never walked the same path. I spent many years feeling sad and trying to accept my lot in life. As time passed, you hear stories of divorces, illnesses, tragedies, suicides and all number of things happening throughout a life. No one has a straight path. We are all on our own blessed way. Put your blinders on. Do your own thing. Count your own blessings. What is meant for you will find its way to you.
Best comment ever😊 You captured it so well, we all have our own path and I’ve felt the same as you. God bless! X
Im in my mid 30s now and I had the same thoughts and feelings when I was approaching my 30th and you are much more accomplished than I was at that time. It’s def just unnecessary pressure we put on ourselves, and it seems like a lot of women experience turning 30. Your feelings are absolutely valid and take time to process them but I promise those feelings will pass. You will gain the clarity you’re seeking and feeling much more relaxed and confident again. You’ll look back and be like “omg it wasn’t that deep” 😂😂😂 …you’re doing amazing sweetie! Sending you much love and success! 🤍🤍🤍
Ahhhhh I needed to hear this 🥺 THANK YOU!!!🤍🤍🤍
Love your content ❤❤❤ as a 32 year old who’s felt the same b4 just know that God made you unique and set you apart .. whats helped me is focusing on what i have, daily gratitude and seeking Gods face ..isolation is hard but the creator knows what the creation needs
So beautifully said. Thank you 🤍
40 here! Just know that this is what it feels like when you’re about to turn the page to the next chapter in your life. Stay focused on yourself and try to stop comparing yourself to societal standards. Moving in the right direction is stressful, but this feeling won’t last forever because it gets better. City hop if you have to! Different cities have different vibes. Have experiences and figure out where you can grow the most. ❤
even though im only 16, i completely understand what you mean about feeling behind. i was also in a season of isolation last year, and it was one of the hardest times of my life. what helped me get out of it though was seeing the ways God had been moving in my life and revealing things to me. it grounded me and made me realize that the things i felt envious of weren’t all they were cracked up to. that feeling of content was what made me realize that God’s plan, no matter how complicated it may seem to me, was the right path and way for my life. once i realized this, everything changed, even though i still feel like that sometimes too! anyway i hope you feel better, you are one of my fave content creators and i hope you don’t let this keep you down!
Your feelings are valid. I felt the same way in my 30s and again in my early 40s. I am 45 years old now. I think most women, especially black women, feel this pressure. We can have success in some areas but still do not feel like we are measuring up. I started giving myself grace/kind to myself, finding other ways of pouring into myself, establishing more natural supports with other women, figuring out my purpose, and establishing a plan to get there. I hope this helps. You have an online community that is rooting for you. Sending a virtual hug.
Everything you said in your car is 100% valid! Since I turned 30 (I’ll be 33 this year) I haven’t stopped having the “feeling left behind” conversation with myself. I actually had that conversation today😂…so I get it! However even though I still struggle at times I can say the moment I asked God to show me if I was doing enough and was He proud of me(and he did) there was a shift inside of me. He began to send people into my life who told me they were proud of me, and how I was a good person, and ultimately through those people my purpose was revealed. If it wasn’t for moments like that I don’t know where I would be.
So with all that being said I am here to tell you that YOU ARE DOING GREAT! It may not look or feel like it but you are right where God needs you to be!❤️
Thank you so much for this sweet and encouraging message! You are appreciated beyond measure🤍
You are NORMAL luv! Your feelings are normal! Coming from someone who’s in their late 40s, it’s just growing pains, I liked to lost my mind when I hit 40! We have so many plans for ourselves we tend to feel inadequate at times if we haven’t checked off things by a certain age. My advice is to what your heart feels after praying on it. The beauty of your life is that you’re able to move and do what you need and want to do without being connected to a spouse or kids. It’s YOUR TIME, do you luv! #raygang
Love this. Thank you for being so kind. I appreciate you words of wisdom 🥺🤍
Hey Dearheart❤I’m 52 and Jesus lover from Cleveland (Mayfield) I still feel that way even with some of my extensive accomplishments. What I have learned is that none of us deserve anything but because of Gods love, grace and mercy he blesses us anyway! Sometimes his blessings look like “wait”, “no” and we look for the go and yes always. His no and wait is just preparing us, strengthening us or preparing our situations or persons for us. So as Paul says let’s learn how to be content while in all circumstances in faith trusting that ALL things work together for the good of them that love the Lord!! Commit all that you do to him while praising while waiting and watch your abundant life unfold❤
I agree I’m also from Ohio, Twinsburg Ohio and I could not have said it better my sister. God Bless you
Read books Proverbs and Ecclesiastes babe. Especially Ecclesiastes Solomon puts life in perspective. Turning 30 is still young and you are doing great in your life. And yes everyone goes through it. ❤
Thank you for this. You know I love my word so I will definitely be doing this. 🤍🤍
I turned 35 this year and I felt the same feelings you did. Just know that it is not wrong for you to feel these feelings and it definitely doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful or unfaithful to God. I just read the other week that these feelings and the isolation just mean that growth is happening - which cannot happen when you’re comfortable. You got this and God got you!! ❤
Amen and right back at you sister 🤍 thank you for sharing
Dess, I GET YOUU!!! I feel the same way a lot of the time and always wonder WHY??? Without wanting to seem ungrateful of all the things you do have but still can’t help but wanting more and it seeming like it’s not tangible. I’m only 24 and still can’t help it and feel like I’m just stuck in this box and don’t know how to open it, while time just passing by. You definitely deserve it ALL and you will get that. Just stay prayed up ( talking to myself while I type this ) this topic always makes me emotional as well when talking about myself and my desires. Like you said, what else is out there? & to know it’s so much in this world but you’re here and still feel so alone. Also still being young but feeling so old ( maybe it’s the old soul in me ) and being told to live and be in the moment but it’s like how? I always wondered how people always say they’re happy or filled with so much joy and I can’t remember the last time I felt that genuinely. I just think so much in life of things I haven’t done or achieved. I feel you sis 😕 love you girl! 🫶🏽
Watching this vlog while I wrap up the last 2 hours of work. 🙌🏾 All my Texas babes be careful during this storm. 💕
Ahhhh thank you love 🤍
The way you dropped gems on what settings to use when creating content, nothing short of game changing!! Thank you for being you, it is very much seen and appreciated.
The least I could do! 🥰 so glad I could help
I am in a "mindset rut" and have been stuck for a while; however, deep inside I know God has greater things for "us"! Keep the faith and keep swimming sis!
So so glad I watched this!! I’m currently going through the EXACT same thing where I’m about to turn 30 next year, so the pressures have been crazy trying to figure out why my life isn’t quite together…I’ve become emotional about it for MONTHS wondering whether the feels was also ‘normal’ so you’re 100% not alone girl, you’re doing absolutely amazing, God never fails🫶🏾
Ahhhh you’re not alone sis 🤍😘
Hey love, loved the vlog entirely per usual. What you’ve expressed is completely normal and was exactly how I felt when I turned 30/ going into 30. Realistically I’ve learned over the year that the feeling of I haven’t done enough will in and out pop up. I absolutely hate it and think it’s ghetto but I’ve learned that I don’t have to give into that feeling all the time. Where God has you in this season is purposeful for where you are going to be in the future. It never makes sense but it’s all prep work. And I’m not speaking as someone who has made it out yet but I can appreciate the journey in midst of frustration and rollercoaster emotions. I’ve been following you for a long time and though you don’t need validation from me….I believe you’re doing amazing and you got this! Happy Belated and welcome to the 30s babe, it’s secretly the new 20s 💁🏾♀️
Thank you times a million sis 🥺🤍 you have no idea how much that means to me
Your vulnerability is always so beautiful. I think many people can relate to this feeling especially reaching this milestone age of 30 (I know I did ) but God has a plan for you , we all go through different seasons in life and your seasons of isolation , transformation whatever it may be it is preparing you for your next breakthrough and it is all about trusting the process and god’s timing 🙏🏿you have accomplished so much and just remember God is working all these things for your good . Keep walking by faith my love ❤
Amen. Thank you so much for your kind words. I appreciate you 🤍🤍
Loveee that you spoke on this, I heavily relate to everything you said! I too am about to enter into the same era in a few months & I have so many thoughts, emotions & feelings; like am I on track? Am I fully walking in God’s purpose for me?
I personally just have to take it day by day & express my sincerest gratitude to God for keeping me & blessing me! Even when it gets hard, I just try my best to remain in a state of expectancy for all the things that I deserve💙
I appreciate your openness about the mindset rut you’re experiencing! I’ve been there myself & coming out of it takes genuine gratitude for where I am right now in this moment. Aspirations are amazing! Yet, remember that you used to pray & dream of the life you’re living currently. You got this! 🫶🏾
You betta come with it!! Yes ma’am! 💕💕💕
Ahhh hey sis!!!🥰
I’m 33, live in Houston and feel the exact same way. I don’t have the resources or career that will allow me to move but I do feel like I have ran my Houston course since I’ve been here for years and I feel like there has to be more out here .. I hope we both get to where we want to be in life 💛
Yayyyyy!!!! We missed you sis!!! Tuning in right now!!! #raygang in the house!!!
Missed you babe!! Hope you enjoy 🥰
Youre doing great Dessy! Youre smart, beautiful and you got it going on girl. But yea, Its also ok to reflect and want more for yourself especially getting older.. I definitely know where youre coming from with how you're feeling.. I’ve been there! Just keep working on yourself and you will be okay! Also, try to focus on the present and just live. Life will feel easier!! ❤️ ❤️🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Abundance = unspeakable joy and peace beyond understanding plus every desire and all that we need
I just wanna say turning 30 is going to change in ways you can’t even imagine! You’re already setting yourself up for success. And have been through your twenties. Your 30s will be for you to enjoy the fruits of your labor! Be proud of what you have done because it has prepared you
For what you’re about to do!! Celebrate your 30s. Celebrate that god has brought you this far and has blessed you for 30 years and he’s not done blessing you yet! You’re going to find some much more joy this next decade and I am excited for you! 🫶🏽❤️
really love the dress you wore in Miami😍😍 girl we all feel like we arent where we want to be in life, I guess we just have to keep working and thriving❣
Amen 🤍🙏🏾
It’s okay to feel how you feel. Acknowledging it is the first step. This is a healthy way to process it. I have reached a big decade myself. I am single and sometimes it sucks, but mostly I feel good. You can take a long term trip to England to see if you like it. Maybe a month or so. I say journal, pray, talk to a life coach. Do something you have always wanted to do.❤
Thank you for the advice. I appreciate you more than you know 🤍🤍
Hey sweetheart I’m a 59 year old that felt just as you did when I was your age. The only difference was that I was a 30 year old newly divorced with 3 kids. Please understand that it’s a mid life crisis and it will pass!! You are doing great for your age and I only wish that I had your courage to step out on faith and leave your family and move somewhere where you knew NO ONE!! I love you and enjoy your content. Please continue to do you my sweet!! ❤
Thank you so much internet Aunty! 🥺🤍 I appreciate you
Yaaaas girl! So happy for a new vlog😊 I love you! #RayGang
I'm from the group chat! 😊❤
I love YOU!! Love my group chat gang 🤭
I started having similar feelings after I turned 40. I started having anxiety thinking about what was missing in my life. I dealt with this by being intentional about keeping my mind on God. I listen to sermon online each day, I spend time listening to praise and worship music, and I’m working on reading my bible daily. I remind myself that I trust God, I trust God’s plan for my life, and everything that happens in my life happens in God’s perfect timing. Whenever my thoughts shift to thinking about other people in an unhealthy manner, I shift the focus back to me. I ask myself what do I want and what can I do now to work towards it. This change in my thinking made a huge difference.
I’ve been patiently waiting for this Dessy to come back, the car rants, happy vibes and random thoughts 💭 I’m here for it!
Your thoughts on everything you were talking about is normal. It could be all the traveling is making you feel like you’re “missing out” on something? I know I feel that way and hate it. I think it’s healthy to reflect on your life and make sure weee on track. Don’t be too hard on yourself and follow your heart, while you can (aka no kids and man) I wish I could move over seas and live for a year, I would rather live with doing the most rather than regrets. ❤❤❤
Ahhhh chatty Cathy is backkkk🤭
Thank you for hearing and understanding me 🤍🤍
The 30 scaries are a thing! You’re right where you’re supposed to be! 💜
Yes they really are 😩 thank you love!!
I can totally resonate with you as far as the isolation season is concerned because I do feel like I’m a great person and I deserve the best so I try to remind myself that God is working it out for me and peace preparing something amazing for me, but it is tough because there are days where I don’t mind being by myself because I love my own company. I even travel alone, but there are days where I want to share life with someone
EXACTLY!!!! Like I genuinely love my alone time….but not 100% of the time Lord geez!!😭🤣🤍
Similarly to what a lot of people are saying, when I was turning 30 (i’m 31, btw) I had the very same thoughts. I felt the very same shifts and honestly, it started closer to 27/28… it’s COMPLETELY NORMAL. Your 30s is going to be so beautiful and you’ll gain more clarity and understanding.
Also, i just want to encourage you on a few things 1) it’s okay to bring your questions to the Lord and it not be “questioning him” and He is faithful to meet you and bring you wisdom, discernment and understanding. 2) There’s a difference between being hidden in God vs isolation. Both experiences shed light to how much more we can (and should) draw closer to God. 3) Praying that you’ll find exactly what your heart desires in ways that may even blow your mind. He is faithful to keep every promise to you sis. Do not get weary in well doing! ♥️
Girlllllllllllllllll.. when you were in the car talking about life I felt that to the core. I’m 27 and I feel like a waste. I feel like I should’ve accomplished so much more. It’s like what am I missing. What am I not focusing on? What am I doing wrong? It also gets me questioning god. Like god why me!! But I can’t do that because I also have faith and believe that god didn’t bring me this far to watch me fail. He has a bigger plan for me. But the process is what’s hard. I just moved to Houston alone. No friends no family and financially it is beating my ass!!! Life is lifeing!! I compare myself and I think it’s just a society thing. Everyone does it. But we cant let that consume us. I don’t want to be like anyone else per se. But by this age I should’ve had this or that or accomplished this or that. Or why am I still struggling in this or that.. idk.. but I just put that out there to say you’re not alone bookieee I promise. We’re just gworlsssssssss ❤
Girllll😢 so relatable… I’m beating myself up for not finishing nursing school etc like now I’m bout to be 30 didn’t know what I set out to.
You are so right sis. God would NEVER bring us this far to have nothing for us in the end. You got this. WE GOT THIS!! Thank you for hearing and seeing me 🤍🤍
It’s never too late!! 🤍🤍
Right on time ❤
Always 🤍
Girl I feel you! Keep your head up high because as you said, God is on your side and you will be ok. I’m 35 and have been through it lol. And still going through it. But when things are shifting, there will be storms so just take the time to rest and prepare for whatever is next. Speaking of - if you move to London and are wanting to work on something new… let me know! I’m trying to get a luxury African fusion patisserie off the ground and I need all the help I can get. And I feel like you would get it!
Good morning happy Sunday morning to you and I enjoy your channel and you are amazing supporter
Thanks for watching friend 🤍🤍
Hi Sister, 33 year old checking who felt just as you do when I turned 30. Things that helped me:
1. Physically write down what you want your life to look like
2. Create quarterly plans towards achievement - Chat GPT can help make it clearie on ways to achieve actions
3. Do a daily check in with yourself about what you did that day or week to get you there.
Keeping everything bottle up in your brain makes it seem so fuzzy and at unattainable. But remember our GOD is mighty. So mighty he parted the sea!
Nothing is out of your reach.
You want to move , do it! Do it for three months babe. Go on a mental leave from your job and just do it. Live THIS life!
Stay encouraged sister!
-xo
He is SO mighty 🥺🙏🏾 this was such amazing advice sister. Thank you, wholeheartedly 🤍🤍
This comment section is so beautiful and uplifting thank you everyone for not making me feel alone in this struggle we call life.
🥺🥺🥺 I really have the best support group. I love it here!🤍
I’ll be 30 next year and I’m starting to feel the same. It’s not even about marriage or children, I’m a godmother and very satisfied with this role for now. I also am not in a romantic space where I desire partnership. And I say this as someone that daydreams about love lol I just know that actual partnership requires giving a lot of yourself and I want to do more first. I graduated college and have a great job but I know I don’t want to be doing it 5 years from now. I struggle with acknowledging not being fulfilled because I don’t want to come off as ungrateful to God. I am. I will say that you are in a much better space than I am for “the shift” lol. Because I’m in a similar headspace I unfortunately don’t have any advice lol but I do appreciate these moments of vulnerability. They make me feel not alone.
It’d be dope to see more of your work as a PA, as much as you could anyways, I get with HIPPA and things like that cant do too much but something to consider hopefully!
You touched on so many basis, nice Vlog. Thanks for sharing ❤
My pleasure 😊🤍🤍
At my desk watching on my phone 🎉🎉🎉🎉
I hope you enjoyed 🤍🤍
You are cuttin up in the beginning and I’m here for it 😂😂😂 this is literally how I act always in my vlogs because this is truly me in real life 😂
LITERALLY just left Sephora got that Danessa myricks blurring balm and returned the topicals didn’t feel it was worth the $16
Recording in a full gym . Sheesh . You’re one of God’s strongest soldiers !! I cannot 😭
Lmaooooo the recording in a full gym comment is so real bc I get anxious EVERYTIME 😭🤣
Time to find a seat and grab a snack
Yes maaaam 🤭🥰
Please know every chapter in novel (in this case your life) isn’t jammed packed w/action…the quiet chapters are preparing you for the future chapters…your doing amazing
Beautifully written. Thank you 🤍
I was watching your older vlog a couple weeks ago the same thing happened to my lips but I was thinking it was the topicals lip balm that was causing it and I stopped using it my lips look normal now idk it was it or what
Omg wait really??? I hope that’s not the case 😭
I’m turning 30 this year and I relate to the midlife crisis as well. I quit my job last week and going back to school cause this isn’t doing it for me. I hope that will help but I know it’s a lot more than just that. I just want a full life and even though I’m grateful for what I have I still feel so empty sometimes. I’m also in Htx with no friends and fam but I just don’t wanna leave so much work lol. I hope you feel better soon! We just gotta keep pushing ❤
Aww sis well you aren’t alone!! I’m here also 🤍
Can you do a video or update on the post inflammatory hyperpigmentation on your lip and what you’re doing to treat it please
Yesss!! You’ll see in upcoming vlogs 🤍
Hey girly, i went through the same hyperpigmentation on my lips for 3 weeks about a month ago and it made me feel the same way. It came out of no where. Exfoliating my lips with a lip exfoliator and using vaseline everyday worked for me; just wanted to share. Love your videos! 💕
Ughhhh so embarrassing 😭😭 it’s getting better now though. Thank you 🤍🤍
Absolutely looovvveee your transparency! You don’t give BRAT at all…..I definitely innerstand the comparison concept, especially relating to social! I literally set an intention a couple years ago, (for that reason) to fast from social for 30 days…It turned into a two year fast from social..😫 I just returned this summer, for business purposes☺️ Once I got closer with God, tapped in with therapy, and really put my blinders on focusing the woman I saw myself AS…As it is a challenge, (I’m on that struggle bus as well😂) Whatever we place energy into will grow…I truly feel like you should live and explore this beautiful world that God created! If you have the ability and opportunity to do so….Do it!!!! I’m turning 36 on the 26th, and I’ll tel you, I’ve felt that shift my entire 30’s…😚I feel like this comment is all over the place, because I’m commenting as I’m watching😂 In conclusion, it is perfectly normal, and I do believe God welcomes the questions from us, completely apart of any relationship! Whew chile, okay…All in all…Everything is always working out FOR you!!!🤎 Here from Cleveland, Ohio🙋🏽♀️😘💨
First. Your feelings are valid and it is ok! To all my ladies approaching 30...it's not that serious! I promise! You were 29 the day before. Not much has changed. It's ok I promise!
I tell everyone we are all feeling this way because we are "not" meeting the expectations others set for us. Man told us we needed to have xyz and provided us with a timeline. God didn't tell us to have kids, be married, have careers, have it "all together" by a certain age...man did. But who are they...not the Alpha or Omega. They don't make the rules for our life.
I get it! My biggest stressor is being 34 with no babies yet and I'm like WHERE IS MY DAUGHTERRRR 😂 but 34 is very young. And I'm glad I didn't have kids at 19 like everyone else I know. My mom was my age, divorced with 3 kids....I couldn't imagine that!
At this age of being older, we have the luxury of being better. Better physically, mentally, spiritually. Just better!
Just take it one day at a time and enjoy the journey. Ok, im talking too much. That's it😂❤
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
🤍🤍
Makes a lot of sense b/c when I ate Cava I was sooo bloated I had the whole wheat brown rice I’m use to my stomach being flat not bloated I had their healthy option shouldn’t bloat you like that 😂😂
Got your cava order in my notes
Period! You’re gonna love it
I’ve felt like this before but now I understand why GOD isolates us in certain seasons. It’s not always a bad thing although it can feel lonely and I completely get where you are coming from, it’s usually something that is intended to strengthen our relationship with GOD so that you will hear him clearly and know it is truly him when he directs you on this next step in life. Have faith and follow it through. Take heart and don’t forget that his timing is the best, as cliche as that sounds and as tired as you may be of hearing it, I guarantee you when the fruit of what he is taking time to do, begins to bear itself, you will understand.
Amen. You are so right. Thank you 🤍
This the Saturn Return . Ariana Grande was talking about it in her latest album. Happens when u turn 29,30
I need to look this up!
I thought it was just me I wanna move to Japan for a little bit 😩😂
Take me with you 😩🤣🤣
P.S… this Texas heat ain’t no joke on our lips… and most of us like glosses which makes it worse.
I exfoliate but also use Sun Bum lip balm with SPF
Yes I’ve been loving the spf gloss!! Game changer
Houston sits right in front of New Orleans so it usually gets a lot of bad weather and is the reason I chose not to move there.
Yeahhhh I’m slowly seeing this
👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿😍😍😍😍😍
Yeah some Targets are very “weird” with the placement of Jenee’s collection. SMH
I’m so annoyed about it 😭
🤍
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I’m here for the ups and downs, you are an amazing woman who will keep breaking through barriers. You got this🤍🤍🤍🤍
Thank you so much 🥺🤍
When you make it through this phase everything will make sense. Not you Debo-ing me to put my half of the heart up 😂😂🫶🏾
Ima always Debo yall for love 🤣🤍
Ladies PLEASE PLEASE don’t feel like you’re a waste at any age during your journey. Dont let society or ya mama tell you what you should be doing or have at any given age. Life is different for us all. Just do your best to create the life that you want for yourself while giving yourself a little GRACE. We’re not perfect and we don’t have to be. You’re doing a great job regardless. And if you’re not, tomorrows another day to get it right. Y’all be good and good to yourselves ❤❤❤
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