Grab It By The Testicle

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  • čas přidán 15. 05. 2011
  • A poem for the college and high school graduates of the year 2011 (and future years as well...I believe it all applies.) Also, past years, if we can ever figure out how make CZcams videos go back in time.
    Also, I would like to offer this video to graduates of schools (or whatever it is they have) on other planets.
    So...to all of you...get ready to...KEEP LEARNING! With less structure and fewer metrics for success.
    Lyrics??
    Good Morning John, and all of the rest of you
    I come to you now from this familiar vestibule
    with advice for the graduates of college and high school
    A familiar format, the well meaning nice tool
    who'll grant you this, a afternoon's savor
    for cash or a favor, food with no flavor
    inspring advice for the next few days
    You'll do well, have some of this koolaid.
    It's time, you must bite of the cherry of life
    It'll taste like fear and hope and diet coke and rainbows
    But don't be surprised when the pain grows
    this is kinda gonna suck, you can't abstain though
    There is no "do not"
    There's no effin try
    There's no "I don't wanna"
    It's life...If you don't like it then die
    Wait no, I'm not condoning suicide
    Just trying to be motivational
    overly sensational
    You get it, I'm sure
    So I abjure
    Oh, you don't know what Abjure means?
    Ehhhh..maybe you're not as prepared as you seem
    It's like rejecting an error but with a bit extra care
    I'm pretty sure they should have taught you that
    I'm making a point, you don't know jack
    The best of you can hope to have been taught to learn
    To yearn for more that you'll still have to earn
    You're not ending learning, you're ending this one structure
    And OK, I'm starting to sound like a schmuck, sure
    But you're gonna keep learning, one way or the other
    Whether it's how to make change or be someone's mother
    Or make music or toffee or coffee or spread sheets
    Or hotels or laws or web sites or bed sheets.
    And don't think "but I majored in lit I won't do that $#*%"
    I majored in chemistry, what did I do with it?
    I make videos for nerds, an entrepreneur
    I taught myself 90% of what I've learned
    And that's normal, average, boring, but true
    And for most hearing this it's be true of you too
    It should be, if it's not, that life's hardly real
    And that's scary, sure, be wary but deal
    Insecurity is something you will always feel
    The deep dark yawning pit of the next step of your life
    Might look like a fall but it could be a flight
    And who knows, that pit might be filled with ice cream
    maybe you're lactose intollerant, but you get what I mean
    Or maybe pain and failure is all that's awaiting you
    I'm just baiting you.
    Whether your facing hell or a festival
    My point here, right now, is grab it by the testicle.
    Make it your bitch! This is all you've got!
    Your one shot, it's short, it's actually probably not
    But while you grab life by the balls be careful with people
    Don't be a creep or you might find a deep hole
    Success might be however you define it
    But if you define it wrong, you're never gonna find it.
    Or even if you do, it'll suck to know
    that you got there at the expense of those
    who you love, or would have, if you'd ever even tried
    Because it's not he-who-has-the most toys when he died
    It's just life, and if you're not at least trying to be happy then why?
    So ONE you don't know jack, TWO be nice to others.
    Whether you become executives, or barristas or stay-at-home mothers
    And lastly, have fun, OK that's all, I think I'm done
    And, that was a pretty good denoumont
    So uhhhh...I'll see you on wednesday John.
    HERE ARE A LOT OF LINKS TO NERDFIGHTASTIC THINGS:
    Shirts and Stuff: dftba.com/artist/30/Vlogbrothers
    Hank's Music: dftba.com/artist/15/Hank-Green
    John's Books: amzn.to/j3LYqo
    ======================
    Hank's Twitter: / hankgreen
    Hank's Facebook: / hankimon
    Hank's tumblr: / edwardspoonhands
    John's Twitter: / realjohngreen
    John's Facebook: / johngreenfans
    John's tumblr: / fishingboatproceeds
    ======================
    Other Channels
    Crash Course: / crashcourse
    SciShow: / scishow
    Gaming: / hankgames
    VidCon: / vidcon
    Hank's Channel: / hankschannel
    Truth or Fail: / truthorfail
    ======================
    Nerdfighteria
    effyeahnerdfighters.com/
    effyeahnerdfighters.com/nftumblrs
    / nerdfighters
    nerdfighteria.info/
    A Bunny
    (\(\
    ( - -)
    ((') (')

Komentáře • 2,6K

  • @charlieritchie7724
    @charlieritchie7724 Před 7 lety +123

    When Dr.Suess and emeniem have a baby...You get Hank

  • @WarLarkGamer
    @WarLarkGamer Před 9 lety +145

    Oh goodness someone please illustrate this in the style of Dr. Seuss.

    • @aminavance2031
      @aminavance2031 Před 9 lety +1

      Yes.

    • @cehrriins123
      @cehrriins123 Před 9 lety +7

      Yea, verily! This video is filed, in my mind, as "Look, it's 'Oh, The Places You'll Go' that doesn't make me weep."

  • @juliasakowitz6586
    @juliasakowitz6586 Před 9 lety +42

    I've been re-watching all the Vlogbrothers videos from beginning to end and finally I've reached this, my first Vlogbrothers video.

    • @drewg.4779
      @drewg.4779 Před 9 lety +4

      This must have been a cool first vlogbrothers video. Mine was TFIOS signing madness and I was like ??? Who is this??? What is TFiOS???? ????

    • @kat_the_mouse
      @kat_the_mouse Před 9 lety +4

      Magic Penguin mine was the Katniss Everdeen makeup tutorial...

  • @PieDislikerSwag
    @PieDislikerSwag Před 9 lety +8

    First time I watched this I didn't realize it was a poem. The second time watching it was a completely different experience. It was so fascinating.

  • @SuperNerd707
    @SuperNerd707 Před 9 lety +20

    Graduated highschool when this video came out. Now 4 years later graduating uni. Thought it would be appropriate to rewatch, and all of it still holds true.

  • @amberblocker4280
    @amberblocker4280 Před 9 lety +18

    I graduate college in 5 hours. Thanks for the extra inspiration!

    • @adnan7698
      @adnan7698 Před 3 měsíci

      How's your life 8 years later?

  • @mariajohansson1186
    @mariajohansson1186 Před 7 lety +19

    that felt like a spoken word poem and it was epic

  • @francisdominguez6300
    @francisdominguez6300 Před 7 lety +6

    every time I feel a little sad with the insecurities in life, you guys always cheer me up. you guys are amazing. thanks

  • @FexloGuitar
    @FexloGuitar Před 9 lety +33

    THE NON-POEM version of this has arrived!! Happy Graduation, Future Dead Person

  • @dothedeed
    @dothedeed Před 7 lety +8

    Woke up 5:29 am, 5 yrs later - got some unsavory decisions to make. This randomly pops into my head. Thanks a lot brain.

  • @shanew3012
    @shanew3012 Před 10 lety +12

    I found the transcript for this, printed it out and put it on my wall. Its honest and lovely, and extremely motivational. I think this s one of my favourite vlogbrothers videos.

  • @diddleysquin
    @diddleysquin Před 10 lety +3

    I just came back looking for this video. I remember it first being posted and having just finished another set of courses... I felt it appropriate to re-watch.
    Thanks Hank.

  • @nearlypeanuts4726
    @nearlypeanuts4726 Před 8 lety +17

    *~Poetry* by Stan Palin
    Inspired by Hank Green with his poem *Grab It By The T-st-cl-*
    About 2 minutes in, it came as a shock
    that this clip was a poem and my brain unlocked
    and it spewed in the comments (in the nicest of ways)
    about how poetry can just brighten our days.
    Even if you really just need a good rest
    or are revising for test after test after test
    or ya need to get a load off of your chest
    I can honestly recommend poems: They're best.
    But as I ramble, you begin to ponder;
    if poems are that great then why not squander
    your own? Make a fortune and a nice gold Ferrari?
    Well if I'm honest; do that, you're outta harm's way
    Because literature is a dangerous path,
    it's not as easy as, like, science or math,
    it's "autistically delicious" to quote Dan Bull
    and I think that that quote is just too hot to handle.
    But to sum up my point, I applaud you, good sir.
    This poem just proves that you're not a curr.
    (A curr is someone who's mean, google it!)
    But, as to quote you, "That's about it!"

    • @NoxBellatricis
      @NoxBellatricis Před 7 lety

      this is why I love nerdfighteria! Beautiful poem :D

  • @Folopolis
    @Folopolis Před 10 lety +3

    This should be played at every high school graduation, and no other speeches. High school graduation should be 5 minutes long.

  • @shirmeytal9376
    @shirmeytal9376 Před 7 lety +2

    this might be my favorite vlogbrothers video of all times- i just can't stop getting back here!

  • @graceelliot3959
    @graceelliot3959 Před rokem +1

    the way he alternates between talking in his vlogbrothers voice and his poetry voice is really throwing me for a loop

  • @SummerLeppanen
    @SummerLeppanen Před 10 lety +8

    This is the first Vlogbrothers video I ever saw. I've been slowly watching them all from the beginning and finally got here. It's funny, I'm living a fairly unhappy first semester of college so far, and when I first heard this I was a sophomore in high school. God, does this have more meaning to me now. I mean, I've always been afraid of the fact that I don't know how to define success, but here I am, constantly feeling like I have to know even when people tell me I don't (though my advisor is the kind of person who thinks I do. Really helpful.). But this helps a bit. I'm not sure what I'm doing with my life, but hey. Who really knows where they're going to end up, let's be honest.

  • @RyanStorey1231
    @RyanStorey1231 Před 9 lety +6

    It actually took me a minute to realize that he was rhyming. XD

  • @amandafinlaw
    @amandafinlaw Před 12 lety

    I remember loving this when I heard it last year when I graduated, and I just came across it again since I've been watching all of the Vlogbrothers videos in order. A year later, after getting through my first very tough year of college, I understand and appreciate what Hank's saying much more. Life really is what you make it and I've learned that it's so important to take this "grab it by the balls" attitude, rather than just letting yourself be desensitized or focusing on the negative things.

  • @FandomMatters
    @FandomMatters Před 7 lety

    Hank, this just popped up in my recommended videos. I watched it when it first came out because I've been watching since 2010, but this hit me really hard re-watching, because I graduated high school in 2011 and I was thinking for the past 2 days about how much my life has changed for the better over the past few years, so this is especially resonating with me coming across it today. I've become a creator and I've found community and I've made and thought of so many new things since the first time I watched this. Thank you.

  • @TediElle13
    @TediElle13 Před 9 lety +3

    He looks so pleased with himself at the end.

  • @Acdcrulez5000
    @Acdcrulez5000 Před 8 lety +9

    Solid poem and also true.

  • @Invincible117
    @Invincible117 Před 12 lety

    I still come back and watch this all the time.
    "Success might be however you define it, but if you define it wrong you're never gonna find it" is one of my favorite things said by anybody ever.

  • @thekatzcorner
    @thekatzcorner Před 10 lety +2

    This is still one of my favorite things ever. I will memorize this one day.

  • @allicatstrike11
    @allicatstrike11 Před 10 lety +7

    I forgot how much I loved this video...

  • @TMartin0092
    @TMartin0092 Před 9 lety +3

    Hank, you should come do the commencement speech at my university for my graduation in May this year. This is so great.

  • @danxfer
    @danxfer Před 11 lety

    "Success might be however you define it
    But if you define it wrong, you're never gonna find it."
    ...Inspirational.

  • @diddleysquin
    @diddleysquin Před 7 lety +2

    I come back every so often.. I needed this again today. thanks hank

  • @mariella44
    @mariella44 Před 7 lety +3

    HAHAHAHA WHAT AN UNDERRATED VIDEO OMG CAN'T BELIEVE I'M JUST NOW SEEING THIS

  • @SallyWaters24
    @SallyWaters24 Před 10 lety +7

    Why has no-one got you to do a commencement speech yet?? Brilliant. :D

  • @DendriticTrees
    @DendriticTrees Před 11 lety

    I've been watching this over and over while getting ready for grad school, its amazingly comforting. Thank you Hank!

  • @shirmeytal9376
    @shirmeytal9376 Před 7 lety

    I watch this every few days to remind myself of what's really important in my life. I know the words by heart by now but I still watch. This video is probably my favorite VB video ever, even though I was tiny when it was uploaded.

  • @consultingcrazy2220
    @consultingcrazy2220 Před 9 lety +3

    This sounds a little like a Dr.Seuss book...

  • @Unadulteratedmadness
    @Unadulteratedmadness Před 9 lety +3

    I saw a connection with tim minchin In this, was it just me??

  • @Aprower
    @Aprower Před 13 lety

    I keep on coming back to this, it's kind of struck a chord with me, since I'll be going off to college after next year and the one thing that scares me the most is the future. I thank you sincerely for a piece of literature that has so inspired me and has given me something to think about, to remember that while a lot of people complain about the "real word" there really is a lot to look forward to, and a lot to hope for.

  • @Bridie313
    @Bridie313 Před 13 lety

    Hank, this was so amazing. I've been really lacking motivation, been falling behind at school, and having no idea about, well, anything. I saw this video the day it was uploaded and it was exactly what I needed to hear.
    No one in my life made the effort to say a single thing like this to me, and sure, maybe I should've known it myself. But hearing it from someone you look up to is... well, inspiring. :)
    Thank you, Hank. You're a really big help.

  • @camdentrain
    @camdentrain Před 8 lety +3

    someone please illustrate this as a Dr. Sues book.

  • @GuySperry
    @GuySperry Před 7 lety +8

    Before Trump... Hank had this advice.

    • @tas991000
      @tas991000 Před 5 lety

      Guy Sperry well, he has the things so it is not so creepy?!

  • @TheFlurryofFlames
    @TheFlurryofFlames Před 13 lety

    Hank, thank you for multiple things: One, clever use o largely unknown terminologies in poetic stance, two for the inspiring words that gave me a chance, three for showing me that it's not necessarily school that teaches you what you need to know, but more .so what you learn as you go through life; being a husband, a manager, or a wife. This's shown me that without training, I can keep learning what I like, and use it publicly without fear of it waning.

  • @JarethKing
    @JarethKing Před 13 lety

    I graduated college almost 2yrs ago and I've been struggling with my life and how to live it. This poem has brightened my day and I will listen to it whenever I feel down.

  • @AEther0238
    @AEther0238 Před 7 lety +11

    I thought this was ganna be 'bout Trump... I'm glad it wasn't.

  • @merrymerry8456
    @merrymerry8456 Před 7 lety

    I watched the whole of this channel (it took about a month and a half using pretty much all of my screen time) and I think this one is my favorite.

  • @cortney2957
    @cortney2957 Před 13 lety

    I just graduated college on Saturday...I watched this and smiled and cried through the whole thing. A most sincere thank you..it truly made me feel just a little more sure of the life that I am diving into.

  • @animeluv9
    @animeluv9 Před 13 lety

    In my school the seniors all write a senior speech and the best one gets picked for graduation.
    This video inspired me to write mine, and it's summer, and I'll be a junior next year. The only reason I feel confident that this speech is accurate is because I have three sisters who have all gone into senior year and I've basically lived through them. Thank you for inspiring me, Mr. Hank Green.

  • @danielhale1
    @danielhale1 Před 9 lety +2

    I had fun watching this! And good advice too.

  • @andreasfr1
    @andreasfr1 Před rokem

    11 years later, this is still one of my favorite videos, ever.

  • @Lexicografia
    @Lexicografia Před 13 lety

    I just can't stop coming back to this video.

  • @muzix414
    @muzix414 Před 10 lety +3

    I love this... My favorite video so far

  • @piephone
    @piephone Před 13 lety

    Goosebumps.... Love you guys.

  • @kitkatkid09
    @kitkatkid09 Před 13 lety

    ive watched this so many times. its just helping me get through, finals, and relationships, and basically just life. Thanks sooooo much for this vid Hank, it really speaks to me and i cant explain how much that means. :) keep up the good work.

  • @ALMG44
    @ALMG44 Před 13 lety

    My brother is graduating high school and I showed this video to him. He wanted me to thank you Hank, so on behalf of my brother Matthew, THANKS!!

  • @FringifiedWhovian
    @FringifiedWhovian Před 11 lety

    I'm not a graduate of anything yet - just a mere sophomore in high school, yet I find myself needing to come back to this video every six months or so - whenever teachers decide it's time for me to plan my future. I surely would've had a mental breakdown without this, Hank. So, thank you.

  • @ofofob
    @ofofob Před 10 lety +2

    I love this video because it made me not have a panic attack while I was registering for classes.

  • @tppeters06
    @tppeters06 Před 12 lety

    My last week of high school, Hank made this video. I didn't want to leave high school. This video helped. I watch it now when college makes me feel like I can't go on. Thank you, Hank.

  • @headachesandhairdye
    @headachesandhairdye Před 12 lety

    I know like half of this by heart, and when I graduate this spring I will recite it. I'll credit you, Hank, no worries - it's just that this is such a great speech with so awesome advice.

  • @HarmlessVampire13
    @HarmlessVampire13 Před 12 lety

    I will show this to my little sister next year when she graduates from high school! This came out the same year I graduated from high school, and it made me feel so much better about life. So, thank you :D

  • @ninjasaur77
    @ninjasaur77 Před 13 lety

    i didnt really know what to do with my life nor why i'm in this life, but now i have a feeling of what i could do. and that is: no matter what i'm doing, i should try my best at it and have fun... and that i shouldnt be scared at what i'm going to do because life has so much in store for me and no matter what i'm going to do, its going to hit me with what it has and before that happens, i need to make it the memories last and have fun with it. thank you hank :)

  • @Tbird2191
    @Tbird2191 Před 10 lety +1

    Oh My!... I do believe I've stumbled upon the predestined mutation of Dr. Seuss!!! I love you and your brother. Your parents must be so proud!....(really, I mean that).

  • @fromscratchauntybindy9743

    LOVE THIS! Perfect timing as I'm moving states and with be unemployed old and moneyless!

  • @adaniel89
    @adaniel89 Před 13 lety

    For my last undergraduate final ever I wore my nerdfighters t-shirt. I thought it was only appropriate seeing as how i started watching Brotherhood 2.0 my first semester of college, and here i am, 4 years later still watching. It's nice that though a lot of things changed, the vlogbrother have always been a constant throughout my college career. Thanks Hank & John, for making my college experience just a little bit easier. :)

  • @009untitled
    @009untitled Před 12 lety

    This is my favorite vlogbrothers video... I love it even more now that I'm graduating high school

  • @kathyh8047
    @kathyh8047 Před 5 lety

    Received my undergrad certificate yesterday, and this morning I thought of this video again 💜 turns out I can still recite it almost word for word 🙈

  • @Phie_Mc
    @Phie_Mc Před 5 lety

    Wow... this popped up for me as a recommended video in 2019! Hank looks like an adorable puppy!

  • @abstruseglitch
    @abstruseglitch Před 12 lety

    I sent this to my cousin who recently graduated high school. He loved it.

  • @Robynsonfire
    @Robynsonfire Před 13 lety

    I watch this about 3 times a week. I love it.

  • @jacobcoolguy
    @jacobcoolguy Před 13 lety

    This is beautiful. This is why I love you, Hank.

  • @moonyriot
    @moonyriot Před 11 lety

    I absolutely love this video.

  • @DinoDudeDillon
    @DinoDudeDillon Před 11 lety

    Hank, this is one of your best videos. Make more like this please.

  • @pezstachios
    @pezstachios Před 13 lety

    This is seriously one of my favorite Hank videos. Thank you. :)

  • @Maverickbaritone
    @Maverickbaritone Před 13 lety

    Motivational speech! I'm memorizing this!

  • @jamiesonclements
    @jamiesonclements Před 12 lety

    This is my favorite vlogbrothers video... I watch this whenever I get upset about my place in the world, or what I'm going to do with my life... Thanks Hank, i appreciate the uplifting lilt. :D

  • @JamesonPearl
    @JamesonPearl Před 13 lety

    One of your best yet.

  • @ariannacheveldave
    @ariannacheveldave Před 12 lety

    I'll be listening to this again in a couple of years when I'm looking for words of hope to guide me to the next stage of my life.
    Dr. Seuss would be proud, Hank.

  • @horizon241
    @horizon241 Před 9 lety

    You Hank, as always, are made of awesome.

  • @Dragonfire76
    @Dragonfire76 Před 13 lety

    This was probably the best graduate speech I'll hear in the next few months. I'll be sending it to all my friends, just so you know. :)

  • @Kzar5678
    @Kzar5678 Před 13 lety

    IS MEMORIZING THIS!!

  • @DominiqueGould
    @DominiqueGould Před 12 lety

    I love how the ENTIRE VIDEO including the intro and outro are in poetic form.

  • @TheAussiePom66
    @TheAussiePom66 Před 13 lety

    Hank,
    I would like to say a massive thanks to you for making this video.
    I am currently working on an assessment task for my English class about poetic language and techniques and you have given me not only a great poem, but one written by a person i admire.
    cheers!

  • @LittleGirlGeek
    @LittleGirlGeek Před 13 lety

    Bless you. BLESS THIS VIDEO.

  • @askmelater123
    @askmelater123 Před 12 lety

    I really needed this today. Thank you

  • @cloudedreverie
    @cloudedreverie Před 13 lety

    I graduate with my masters next week and I've been pondering about the next step of my life and what I might do with it. This helped the fear and wonder of it all easier to think on - thank you.

  • @osakanone
    @osakanone Před rokem

    I still come back to this.

  • @HarryPotterTrio91
    @HarryPotterTrio91 Před 13 lety

    Just graduated high school yesterday and needed to come back to see this video. It's still brilliant, as always.
    :)

  • @hacsacka
    @hacsacka Před 11 lety

    About to find out my A Level results, and therefore whether I got into university. This always makes me feel more confident about the future whatever happens. Thank you so much Hank for giving me such brilliant advice. I owe you a lot.

  • @twinkletoes121
    @twinkletoes121 Před 13 lety

    My grampy, a college math professor, was famous for saying "School doesn't give you an education; it gives you the means to get an education." Basically, school should teach you how to learn because you'll need to learn new things to get through the rest of your life! Thanks for making me remember my grampy, Hank! :)

  • @Snickerzchik
    @Snickerzchik Před 13 lety

    I love this!!!! He's like a Dr. Seuss!!!!!!

  • @lesionfreepretty
    @lesionfreepretty Před 13 lety

    This is exactly what I needed. Just like, in general. So thanks.

  • @anifanatical
    @anifanatical Před 13 lety +1

    This. Is. The. Best. Thing. Ever.
    I almost wish this was the speech read at my graduation.

  • @Brittanyy41
    @Brittanyy41 Před 12 lety

    I listen to this everyday.

  • @GingerandNuts
    @GingerandNuts Před 12 lety

    One of my first vlogbrothers videos. I found it as I was leaving high school and it put things into perspective then and it does it again now as I submit my university decision, thanks for the lesson in embracing change.

  • @DarkGreenNails
    @DarkGreenNails Před 11 lety

    Ahhhh! Poetry slam is the best thing ever!
    This one is quite spectacular too, I might add.

  • @MiracleMira
    @MiracleMira Před 13 lety

    And that's from the brother who didn't major in literature, loved it. I'm finishing college this year and I do actually feel like I don't know anything, I think after I've graduated and have been looking for a job for a few months with no success I'll be replaying this poem many times over :) thanks Hanks

  • @CaSCHWANK
    @CaSCHWANK Před 13 lety

    WOOOOW this is mesmerizing.

  • @cutu4ever
    @cutu4ever Před 11 lety

    "Success might be however you define it, but if you define it wrong, you're never gonna find it."

  • @howeweedoit
    @howeweedoit Před 7 lety

    oh my.. Hank you've grown so much, watching this in 2017

  • @colorblindpony
    @colorblindpony Před 13 lety

    I've listened to this probably 20 times. It's wonderful and encouraging :] Graduating on the 26th! Thanks Hank!

  • @MrWoodenful
    @MrWoodenful Před 12 lety

    This always manages to motivate me, no matter the situation

  • @1islessthan3
    @1islessthan3 Před 13 lety

    This is awesome! I shall now send this to all the graduates I know!

  • @magnoliamae27
    @magnoliamae27 Před 13 lety

    I'm envisioning graduation speeches reciting this poem all over the country for the next few weeks...
    Also, I found it quite helpful, one year post-grad; I felt like a total bum being lost and unemployed for 7 months... then ended up finding my dream job as an English teacher in Prague, CZ. The poem just put words to what I was searching for before moving here. So, thanks Hank! And I'm looking forward to your next album :-)

  • @Annarocks43
    @Annarocks43 Před 10 lety

    I really needed this right now