29 Words to Cut From Your Novel

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  • čas přidán 22. 11. 2016
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Komentáře • 1,5K

  • @adambirch6466
    @adambirch6466 Před 6 lety +2261

    "Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very";
    your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."
    -Mark Twain.

  • @MireVale
    @MireVale Před 5 lety +195

    Why can’t my idea for a book just magically flow from my brain to the computer with perfect grammar and punctuation? 😂😭

    • @AnnaMaledonPictureBookAuthor
      @AnnaMaledonPictureBookAuthor Před 3 lety +3

      It happens.

    • @wiseusma2065
      @wiseusma2065 Před 3 lety +7

      If that were possible all people in the world would be writers, but one has to sweat it, and real talents are rare

    • @sweetlids2898
      @sweetlids2898 Před 3 lety +3

      I wish 😭

    • @geraldfrost4710
      @geraldfrost4710 Před 3 lety +4

      (Remove the word "just" from your sentence.)
      I use mental interface software. Sentences appear on the screen having already passed through Grammarly.

    • @lilobluegon7806
      @lilobluegon7806 Před 3 lety +1

      That's what editing is for. Don't let that discurage you from writing. Fix it later ^^

  • @Darkgoth1992
    @Darkgoth1992 Před 6 lety +433

    "Really" & "very" weakens...
    *Camera drop*
    Me : stability ?? 🤔😂😂

  • @sliceofbread29yrago52
    @sliceofbread29yrago52 Před 6 lety +1037

    OK So if deleted every word you mentioned from my Novel and this is what I have left.
    "The Boy now has a blue jacket, run home to mum.......'
    THE END

    • @VivienReis
      @VivienReis  Před 6 lety +141

      You're not supposed to delete every word 😊

    • @mac1991seth
      @mac1991seth Před 6 lety +175

      The fact that your nickname is "Plato" makes the joke even funnier.

    • @alexandergoldthorpe4585
      @alexandergoldthorpe4585 Před 6 lety +109

      you can get rid of the "the".

    • @guarddog318
      @guarddog318 Před 5 lety +52

      So Plato.... You're saying the title of this vid should be "How to turn your novel into a short story in one easy lesson"?

    • @ASMRR3N33
      @ASMRR3N33 Před 5 lety +7

      Plato 😂😂😂😂😢

  • @stephencantnmbrs
    @stephencantnmbrs Před 7 lety +776

    So let me just get this out.
    Fucking, thank you. I have been trying to figure out what makes my writing so awkward for the past year and no real article or even self searching and studying has told me directly what I've been doing wrong to my manuscript.
    Instant sub. Thank you.

    • @nancyandaharon
      @nancyandaharon Před 7 lety +3

      look up 'nail on the head' writing. fixes clunky writing, fast.

    • @Sunflower_Pop
      @Sunflower_Pop Před 7 lety +1

      Don't feel bad. I bought the Chicago Manual of Style to tell me this cause I couldn't find it online. So yeah...and you know what. I still don't listen. I think it's worse that i know but don't stop myself. Still a good book to have for reference.

    • @nancyandaharon
      @nancyandaharon Před 7 lety +5

      I meant "on the nose" www.jerryjenkins.com/my-best-writing-tip-for-the-new-year/

    • @navin4984
      @navin4984 Před 7 lety +3

      Michal K, thanks for sharing that link. Such a nice person! Go ahead and give yourself a pat on the back for me.

    • @terukisuke5324
      @terukisuke5324 Před 7 lety +3

      Michal K Thank you. THANK YOU. I thought today would be so unproductive because I was feeling sluggish but then I followed this link for that mind-blowing revelation. This will help me so much, although it'll be a pain to overhaul my entire book when I plan to publish in summer. X'D

  • @Avatargeek23
    @Avatargeek23 Před 7 lety +949

    Oh my lord... editing my mess is going to be a pain 😂

  • @kobelordson4919
    @kobelordson4919 Před 5 lety +59

    “Don't tell me how Lucy felt, let me experience it.”
    New found lesson.

  • @michaelshort2388
    @michaelshort2388 Před 6 lety +14

    Unlike most writers, I love the editing process. Seeing my story go from blah to great is such a satisfying feeling. :)

    • @silvercord2694
      @silvercord2694 Před 7 měsíci +1

      Right?????

    • @dexine4723
      @dexine4723 Před 5 měsíci

      Well, I wouldn't say my stuff is great, but I do like burying something I've written for a year or two, then going back to read it afresh and edit. If I've left it long enough, it doesn't even feel like something I've written and any plot holes, errors or over-used words become obvious.

  • @nslater1388
    @nslater1388 Před 6 lety +46

    For years my father has been telling me that my writing bothers him because it sounds like someone telling the story as opposed to experiencing it. Thanks to your video, I think I understand a little more now.

  • @IanHollis
    @IanHollis Před 6 lety +621

    "The boy began to cry" implies that he's only now starting to cry, where as "the boy cried" implies that the action has both started and concluded.

    • @MiseFreisin
      @MiseFreisin Před 6 lety +59

      Yeah, if the action is about to be interrupted, or timing is critically important for some reason, leave "began" alone.

    • @VivienReis
      @VivienReis  Před 6 lety +133

      In this example, we're writing in past tense. "The boy cried" would be "The boy cries" in present tense, which does not imply the action has concluded. If we were writing in present tense and use "cried," you would be correct. For this to work in past tense, you would have to use past perfect to say "The boy had cried" to imply the action concluded. Hope that clears things up.

    • @sleepysera
      @sleepysera Před 5 lety +26

      I also think it's heavily dependent on context. There is a big difference between starting to cry and being in the process of crying. Not only is there a visual difference, it also conveys a lot of information about the cause of the tears.
      Example: POV character enters a room full of strangers. "A young woman tightly held onto a little boy who cried." only tells me that he is currently crying. I don't know if he was already crying before the POV character entered the room, what triggered it, nothing. He's just crying, that's all.
      Contrast that with "A young woman tightly held onto a little boy who started to cry." shows that something just now triggered his tears, either the presence of the POV character or the embrace of the woman.
      That kind of thing can be important information. The more prolonged an activity is, the more important time becomes - there is a big difference between "Cheryl climbed the wall." and "Cheryl started to climb the wall." A lot can happen in between!

    • @soitgoes290
      @soitgoes290 Před 5 lety +1

      I hate when people say the noun "began to" verb. It just sounds like kindergarten picture book language.

    • @Romancefantasy
      @Romancefantasy Před 5 lety +19

      Sharon Efee I don't know, it just doesn't have the same feel as "began to". As she approached the coffin she began to shake feels better than she shook as she approached the coffin. She shook feels like I'm cheating her of this moment. One conveys a slow buildup while the other is just 'bam' in your face. I like to write the way I talk so maybe that's why the tighter version is unappealing.

  • @nelsonx5326
    @nelsonx5326 Před 5 lety +18

    I love Vivien's eyes. This is important advice, take note.

  • @guepardiez
    @guepardiez Před 7 lety +501

    Vivien saw the camera falling over and suddenly felt fear. Then she put it back in its place. It was a rather bad, embarrassingly cheap camera.

  • @uhitsethan
    @uhitsethan Před 7 lety +98

    3:16 scared the frikin crap out of me.

  • @madelynnrichard1225
    @madelynnrichard1225 Před 7 lety +134

    I BUTCHER the use of 'however' and 'but'. They are practically thrown all over my writing, so when I saw they weren't really on the list, I not only felt a bit relieved, but also quite amused. That being said, now that I'm nearly done my first chapter, I have quickly realized that I have a tremendous amount of filler words to cut out. Oh boy, this is gunna be fun. But at least I watched this video before I went ahead and did the entire novel. O_o Now THAT would've been painful.

    • @IceRiver1020
      @IceRiver1020 Před 7 lety +1

      Madelynn Richard Haha, that's why authors go through their novels so many times, you can't possibly get everything in the first couple of edits.

    • @madelynnrichard1225
      @madelynnrichard1225 Před 7 lety

      Pft, I can't even get everything in a damn essay let alone a 200-400 page novel. XDDD

    • @IceRiver1020
      @IceRiver1020 Před 7 lety

      Madelynn Richard lol, I often don't even want to try! Looking at what I've written and all the problems with it just makes me feel hopeless sometimes.

    • @madelynnrichard1225
      @madelynnrichard1225 Před 7 lety +2

      Saaaaaaaaaaaame!! XDD Sometimes ignorance IS a bliss when it comes to writing. XDD I mean, if it's for yourself, as long as you enjoy what you're doing then I think that's all you really need. XDD

    • @10Boomer9
      @10Boomer9 Před 7 lety +1

      You favor adjectives. "practically, bit, quite, nearly, quickly, tremendous..." You're very descriptive and on the right path, but try eliminating some adjectives and replace the noun or verb with a more descriptive word. Brevity is clean and provides that "punch per word" ratio thingy she mentioned. Good luck Madelynn!!

  • @cxvxcvxcvxcvxcv1188
    @cxvxcvxcvxcvxcv1188 Před 6 lety +64

    "Suddenly, the camera fell out of nowhere."
    Oh boy. I got work to do.

    • @kennethmilam5451
      @kennethmilam5451 Před 6 lety +6

      cxvxcv xcvxcvxcv "Camera fell." Is the proper way of saying according to the video.

    • @katiekatie6289
      @katiekatie6289 Před 6 lety +2

      You already said "out of nowhere" so it's clear the event was unexpected.

  • @ironmoondarkwing4190
    @ironmoondarkwing4190 Před 6 lety +137

    So glad I watched this video - now I finally know what I'm doing wrong. It seems to me like English writing is the exact opposite to German writing...
    English: Deliver your information in a short and precise manner, leave out any unnecessary words, avoid adverbs and overly complicated sentence structures.
    German: Make that sentence longer! LONGER I said! Why use three words to describe this when you could use TEN?! If that sentence doesn't cover at least half a page and includes 15 commas or more you can pack your things and leave!

    • @simonestreeter1518
      @simonestreeter1518 Před 6 lety +15

      Clearly Germans have retained their literacy. Anglophones have had ours cut, along with the ideas that have become inconvenient to our way of life.

    • @Dualgas
      @Dualgas Před 6 lety +1

      Really? That's interesting. So it is considered good form to always use "dass" even when it can be omitted. So "Ich weiss, dass ich ein guter Schreiber bin" is better than "Ich weiss, ich bin kein guter Schreiber"?

    • @Damo2690
      @Damo2690 Před 6 lety

      Question, when would a German use daß Vs dass, is it an age thing? Or a dialect thing

    • @saphira8080
      @saphira8080 Před 6 lety +7

      Damo2690 there was a big spelling reform (20 or so years ago) and ever since then daß does not exist any more. It is always written as dass now. But it is pronounced the same.
      However dass and das are not the same thing, they both exist and are also pronounced the same way.

    • @alexandralethenyey620
      @alexandralethenyey620 Před 6 lety +7

      The irony is this is probably why I enjoy German-language books translated to English so much. When people say what's the difference, I've always said I love the voice that comes through. Long sentences ftw!

  • @williamrobinson6059
    @williamrobinson6059 Před 7 lety +118

    Passive voice can be effective in conveying an array of emotions.

    • @eugenetswong
      @eugenetswong Před 6 lety +36

      It can also slow the story down, which is a good thing for pacing. We don't need action packed sentences every time. Sometimes, the character really does experience things passively.
      "That" is good for separating sentencing fragments. They are like verbal commas, and help the reader to hold on to the ideas better until the end of the sentence is over.

    • @katiekatie6289
      @katiekatie6289 Před 6 lety +34

      It exists in the English language for a reason, I don't get the hate for passive voice.

    • @WritingSch
      @WritingSch Před 6 lety +14

      ‘My dog got hit by a car.’
      No one gives a crap about the car. They care about my dog (I hope).

    • @hll4393
      @hll4393 Před 6 lety +15

      I use passive voice when I want to show that my characters are powerless/undergoing something.

    • @peglamphier4745
      @peglamphier4745 Před 6 lety +1

      But can it be MORE effective than active voice? Hardly ever.

  • @danielbateman6518
    @danielbateman6518 Před 6 lety +159

    DON'T TOUCH MY ADVERBS!

  • @ameliapaine
    @ameliapaine Před 6 lety +43

    Just is like a crutch for me. I know I use it too much, but I *just* feel like it's the perfect word to use when you're trying to explain something *just* perfectly or trying to get the audience to *just* understand a point. I *just* can't stop!
    Wow, just doesn't even feel like a word anymore. Maybe I can stop! *Just* not quite.

    • @simonestreeter1518
      @simonestreeter1518 Před 6 lety +5

      I read once that it's a word used a lot by people who have been emotionally abused to the point where they are afraid of taking up space and time.

    • @ameliapaine
      @ameliapaine Před 6 lety +5

      Simone Streeter Oh.

    • @silversamm
      @silversamm Před 6 lety +1

      Try other words to get the same message across? Like 'I simply feel' or 'explain something exactly right' or ''to truly understand'

    • @UltimateKyuubiFox
      @UltimateKyuubiFox Před 6 lety

      Simone Streeter *looks at myself*
      ... Yep, checks out.

    • @SoftSemtex
      @SoftSemtex Před 6 lety +1

      "he was just about ready, when..." "he reaped his just rewards" "he wasn't in the mood just now" everything was just great"
      you cant just substitute words without changing the tone
      ... just

  • @VivienReis
    @VivienReis  Před 6 lety +25

    FYI: Jump scare at 3:16!
    Have a suggestion for a new video? Add it here and vote for your favorites: bit.ly/VivienVote

  • @oneirophon8912
    @oneirophon8912 Před 7 lety +179

    Most of these are just style choices, not rules. I find writing that's devoid of these "unnecessary" words to be just as grating as writing that's bogged down with them. In my opinion, when you cut out all these words, it messes up the pacing and comes across like the Twitter character limit. As for filter words, whether or not they're bad writing depends entirely on the purpose of the main character; if the protagonist is meant to be an "avatar" or blank slate for the reader to identify with, then filter words are a bad idea. But if the protagonist has a strong personal identity and is meant to be perceived as someone external to the reader, rather than a surrogate for the reader, then stating the protagonist's thoughts and perceptions as matters of fact rather than through filter words can itself enter the territory of bad writing. Filter words can help maintain the distinction between the reader and the protagonist, if author so desires.
    A bigger issue, though, is that in the example sentence for "that," cutting the word out would actually be bad writing. The problem with the sentence "It was easy to see the dog was hurt" is that the reader could see the words "It was easy to see the dog" and think the sentence breaks up there, making it seem as if it's meant in the sense "the dog was easy to see," only to get to the end of the sentence and realize that it actually breaks up as "It was easy to see // the dog was hurt," and not "It was easy to see the dog // was hurt." I hope the way I described that made sense, but I'm sure you've had the experience of going into a sentence thinking it breaks up one way or that a word is meant in one sense, only to get to the end of the sentence and realize you were reading it wrong. Rendering it as "It was easy to see *that* the dog was hurt." makes it easier to read, by making it clear where the sentence breaks up. There are plenty of cases of this usage of "that" that don't make it easier to read (such as "I told you that I was going to the store." vs. "I told you I was going to the store.") but in a lot of cases, including your example, "that" is like the Oxford comma: not necessary, but it makes it easier to read.

    • @lilym7395
      @lilym7395 Před 6 lety +5

      Oneirophon I appreciated this

    • @luketeichert9700
      @luketeichert9700 Před 5 lety +9

      I agree about the word "that." In Spanish, it is pretty much always necessary, so I've become used to using it in English too. It just sounds better to me. When I read a sentence like "It was easy to see the dog was hurt," I feel something is missing and often mentally add a "that"

    • @werenothingbutyouwantnothi6843
      @werenothingbutyouwantnothi6843 Před 5 lety +1

      For me THAT is like ice cream. I love putting it everywhere, I think that it adds to the reading instead of subtracting from it. Love your comment ^~^

  • @ellieclarkee
    @ellieclarkee Před 7 lety +506

    When the camera fell it scared me so much. 😱

    • @10Boomer9
      @10Boomer9 Před 7 lety +24

      Yeah... not quite the effect it could have. :) The camera fell from its perch on my nightstand abruptly shattering the silence that held me fast asleep.

    • @esterabyte
      @esterabyte Před 7 lety +3

      Me too hahahaha i'm shocked

    • @shakesmctremens178
      @shakesmctremens178 Před 6 lety +6

      dammit, how bout a little spoiler alert next time ...now i'm going to know it's coming.

    • @helloguytie8375
      @helloguytie8375 Před 6 lety

      itsellieclarke SAME

    • @MrComedygoldFilms
      @MrComedygoldFilms Před 6 lety

      itsellieclarke it happened at the same time I read this

  • @smiles5168
    @smiles5168 Před 6 lety +950

    Don't take this stuff as gospel. It can be useful but if you enjoy the way you write then write your stories like that. Rules aren't life or death and they can and should be broken when it comes to creating art.

    • @MrDzoni955
      @MrDzoni955 Před 6 lety +105

      You can break the rules if you have a good reason for doing that. But generally, it's good to stick to the principals.

    • @loveless8241
      @loveless8241 Před 6 lety +100

      Creative writing has no rules, only guidelines.

    • @OrifielM
      @OrifielM Před 6 lety +66

      These guidelines definitely aren't gospel, but they will make your writing stronger and more enjoyable to read, creative or not.

    • @BrandonNinja
      @BrandonNinja Před 6 lety +5

      CHICKENMCBIGBOI True but what she was saying makes sense.

    • @dakotaadams1432
      @dakotaadams1432 Před 6 lety +6

      It's like art agreed, I watch dos and don't on art work using what others advise as guidelines. You ca do what you want but these type of things add growth and in depth progress.

  • @paulsmyth6710
    @paulsmyth6710 Před 3 lety +5

    This is one of the secrets that makes for good writing in a novel. These words among other's, really do hinder your writing if over-used. When you begin to edit them out and use them correctly if you must, you see a huge difference.

  • @ThomasRiver69
    @ThomasRiver69 Před 7 lety +42

    sidenote, I love the random, lone hanging picture of fruit in the background.

    • @VivienReis
      @VivienReis  Před 7 lety +10

      Thanks! I painted it :) We haven't finished hanging the "real" decorations since our layout will be changing after we buy a new couch. We thought the tiny picture looked funny on the big wall :)

  • @dasy887
    @dasy887 Před 7 lety +285

    Wait, what about dialogue? Characters WOULD say these things.

  • @JDTwoSixTwo
    @JDTwoSixTwo Před 6 lety +8

    Oh my! When she said 'even better, say tears welled up in the boy's eyes' but the bit to the side said 'tears welled in the boy's eyes', getting rid of that up made it so much better! This video is genius!

  • @Ouvii
    @Ouvii Před 6 lety +2

    I'm so bad at being concise; this is going in the favorites so I can find it all of the millions of times I need to watch it.

  • @bobtheduck
    @bobtheduck Před 6 lety +11

    I went on an -ly purge after reading "Self-Editing" and... By the end of it, I felt very silly. I actually had my word processor mark all of my -ly words, and it became comical trying to replace them all with more descriptive verbs. It became a vocabulary contest rather than storytelling and the entire purpose of my story got buried under rather pointless issues of style.
    Some of the most loved writing breaks all sorts of "rules." Especially pointless are these most arbitrary rules, like prohibitions against adverbs (including just the -ly adverbs). I will not be that unhappy if I don't reach or please the reading elite. These external attempts to control the styles of other writers to fit into a certain mold goes against the core of creative writing.

  • @turningthepages5547
    @turningthepages5547 Před 7 lety +90

    Oh wow. I'm nearly finished writing my novel. Watching this video made me realize that I use all of these sooooo often! I also realize now how much work I will have later on.
    Great video though! Helpful as always :)

    • @alyssadavison4308
      @alyssadavison4308 Před 6 lety +5

      hehem...you used realize

    • @cSedx00022
      @cSedx00022 Před 2 lety

      @@alyssadavison4308 Dialogue is an exception to rules, right? 🤷‍♀️😂

  • @georgeoswalddannyson6008

    I watched this then went back to writing and immediately noticed a huge improvement. Thank you for this.

  • @TinyGreenTea
    @TinyGreenTea Před 3 lety +2

    I love the way you explain things! I been currently writing my first draft and constantly get discourage about how messy it is. Whenever I try to find some expert advice I'm always left with feeling even more discourage. It was nice to hear from someone who admits that they do the same mistakes that I do and give very useful positive pointers. Thanks so much for this video! I will definitely be subscribing ^^

  • @nuyisaolvie
    @nuyisaolvie Před 7 lety +33

    I use "and then" a lot, I've been going back and cutting them out for a while.

    • @BabyItsSunny
      @BabyItsSunny Před 6 lety

      Nuyi Saolvie I use and a lot. Like almost every line

    • @randomisraelite
      @randomisraelite Před 6 lety +1

      +Desi using certain words doesn't have to be a bad thing. You just have to understand the rule and then bend it to make it work for you. Look at George RR Martin (Game of Thrones writer) he uses 'and' alot, and especially Robin Hobb (Farseer trilogy) she uses "and" even more than he does. It makes their writing more energetic and gives it a really good flow (for the most part).

    • @randomisraelite
      @randomisraelite Před 6 lety

      although I suppose every line is a bit much lol

  • @Heckules
    @Heckules Před 7 lety +379

    heads up there's a jump-scare at 3:16 so skip to 3:32 to avoid it
    jesus christ

  • @RyanAlexanderBarker
    @RyanAlexanderBarker Před 6 lety

    Your channel is amazingly helpful!

  • @englishnerd5580
    @englishnerd5580 Před 6 lety

    I appreciate that this list includes more than just a couple words. I can look at all these and see if the changes really make a difference in my overall writing. Thanks again!

  • @jongibson4766
    @jongibson4766 Před 7 lety +23

    Ctrl + F and my NaNo script while going along with this video really scared me, haha. Lots of editing in the future for me. Found a lot of these in just my first scene. A lot of CZcams writing vlogers are real fluffy with not a lot of real content, but this is great tangible info. Thank you so much!

  • @GabrielRodriguesYT
    @GabrielRodriguesYT Před 6 lety +3

    3:16
    "The camera falling to her lap scared her."
    "She flinched at the fallen camera."

  • @sung-hochung5618
    @sung-hochung5618 Před 5 lety

    Lovely advice! I am so glad I found your post!

  • @anjelocarey
    @anjelocarey Před 6 lety

    oh my goodness I cannot be any more thankful for coming across your channel!!!! I used to write fiction short stories back in high school (i am 27 now) and somehow feel the need to go back to writing. Thanks for sharing these!!!! really helpful!

  • @trackyjon-jonandjimmymoop274

    Good list. I'll be combing through my manuscript with these in mind.One of my most frequently used words is "though." I just happen to enjoy turning a sentence on its heels midway through, e.g. "His clothes were made of the finest cloth, though several seasons out of fashion."Someone once pointed out I had a single page with about 10 uses of, though, thought, and through.

    • @VivienReis
      @VivienReis  Před 7 lety +1

      Haha, we all have our own favorite writing words! Most of us don't realize until we're in the editing process, too. Happy editing!

  • @elizabethdragonclaw2916
    @elizabethdragonclaw2916 Před 6 lety +37

    You say to eliminate "up/down" after saying sit or stand. But you can sit down or sit up, and similarly you can stand up or stand down, and they all have entirely different meanings. So eliminating up and down entirely probably isn't the best idea

    • @sauldinglesteinlll9543
      @sauldinglesteinlll9543 Před 6 lety +19

      She was obviously referring to a specific context. Use your common sense.

    • @sharonefee1426
      @sharonefee1426 Před 5 lety

      I guess she mean only for sit down, rathen than sit up. There's no problem with saying "he sat on his chair." English isn't my mother languages, so I'm not sure what's different between sit up and sit. But yeah... up and down can't someone replaced. (He looked up).

    • @geraldfrost4710
      @geraldfrost4710 Před 3 lety

      "But we've been stood down," said Sargent Angua, who was wearing a sad feather boa.
      "Sorry ladies, but it looks like you've been stood up again."
      Yeah, you gotta be careful. The example comes from Pratchett, a pretty good wordsmith.

  • @anderskarlsson9762
    @anderskarlsson9762 Před rokem

    Like your videos. No small talk, no reading of large texts. You leave it to be downloaded!

  • @jooheonoppao_olabh1859

    OMGG i've been searching everywhere for a person who regularly makes videos to help writers improve :'))))) thank you so mucchhh

  • @antiHUMANDesigns
    @antiHUMANDesigns Před 4 lety +21

    On the adverbs:
    Consider this sentence: "He ran quickly down the stairs".
    "Ran quickly" is not a word, it is the definition of a word. To "run quickly" can be called "bolting".
    So, "He bolted down the stairs".
    Write the word, not the definition of the word you're looking for. Adverbs are generally a way to define a word.
    However, a better use of adverb:
    ""He quickly bolted down the stairs".
    In this case, "quickly" stands on its own, it isn't a part of defining or enhacing a verb. In this case, he didn't bolt in a quick way, he started bolting quickly.
    OK, sure, perhaps "bolted" implies a quick reaction, not just a quick movement, but you get the point.

  • @Nathouuuutheone
    @Nathouuuutheone Před 6 lety +14

    Wait, so uh... All the times I've been told how to add words everywhere I could in school, it's just bullshit?

  • @bobbilly3904
    @bobbilly3904 Před 7 lety

    I went into this video expecting some absurd personal vendetta against filler words and was pleasantly surprised, both by the presentation and the content. Very good information here, thankfully I've phased out most of these practices but your touching on unnecessary instances of 'the' was helpful. Thank you!

  • @HH-xj8nh
    @HH-xj8nh Před 3 lety

    This is one of the best short videos on writing tips I've even watched!

  • @hafaball
    @hafaball Před 7 lety +8

    for now I'll keep all the words, but this will be helpful in the future! thanks for the videos.

    • @VivienReis
      @VivienReis  Před 7 lety +1

      You're welcome! Thanks for watching!

  • @Dawnslight16
    @Dawnslight16 Před 6 lety +4

    It should be pointed out that the first point about 'filter words' is much more for a plot driven story then a character driven one. In a plot driven story your observing the character through an outsiders view while in a character driven, experiencing everything through the character is kind of the point. Basically the character revolves around the plot instead of the plot revolving around the character. So this is just exploring one style of writing

  • @oscarerik
    @oscarerik Před 6 lety

    Incredible. This was so enlightening, thank you. Subbed

  • @julianatorquato7796
    @julianatorquato7796 Před 6 lety

    I'm Brazilian who feels more comfortable writing my stories in English, so you have no idea how much you've helped. Thank you so much!!!! Great work!!!!

  • @victoriablackwell1339
    @victoriablackwell1339 Před 7 lety +12

    My thoughts were pressing too hard against your computer. Those two words were the two words on my mind....really and very. THAT was too weird.

  • @shakesmctremens178
    @shakesmctremens178 Před 6 lety +36

    Suddenly, a minute passed.

  • @evennot
    @evennot Před 5 lety +2

    That's interesting. Regarding filter words, in things I write I use them specifically because the story goes in direct (or subtle) contradiction to what's character see/hear/know/realize. I think a lot of stories are like that

  • @reaganburkholder7480
    @reaganburkholder7480 Před 6 lety

    This was helpful! Thank you for the writing tips.

  • @anonb4632
    @anonb4632 Před 6 lety +18

    A lot of this is to do with American immigration and culture. German and Yiddish speakers do not differentiate between adjectives and adverbs, and this incorrect usage is incorporated into a lot of American English as a result e.g. "do it real good". Slavs (Poles, Russians etc) do not use articles like "the" at all.
    The short sentences are due to American media culture. A nation exposed to constant television since the 1950s and a breakdown in community speaks laconically or at least briefly with a torrent of ideas. And their attention spans are shot. Also as a young frontier nation, Americans always have to move onto something new... "We're bored of the old sentence. So move onto a new one." Instead of clauses, new sentences...

    • @miriamgonczarska613
      @miriamgonczarska613 Před 5 lety +2

      Oh it's a Jewish fault now, and the Polish - as a Jewish Polish writer I thank you for your dear comment from all of my heart! THE fact that there isn't "THE" in Polish does not imply that we don't use it in the English language. Actually we have "to" we use it less often. We the emigrarants are able to learn the language, and use all words correctly. Many native English speakers butcher English in most cruel of ways. I've been in America only about eight years and I write and speak better than many native speakers I meet. My English is far from perfect, but the educational institutions should pay more attention to teaching correct English to all native speakers! Stop blaming others for failures of your own educational system... :)

  • @movedtodizzycake2685
    @movedtodizzycake2685 Před 6 lety +6

    I find myself using "suddenly" in like every other sentence 😭

    • @geraldfrost4710
      @geraldfrost4710 Před 3 lety

      I go ahead and write "only"and "just" in a first draft. but come the final draft, they're gone. might keep a hand full, but even then, only in dialog, and just when appropriate.

  • @carmenperez4240
    @carmenperez4240 Před 6 lety

    Thank you so much. May you sell many books.

  • @Persnikity-yv3nh
    @Persnikity-yv3nh Před 7 lety

    This is the first video on writing that's completely applied to my writing and given me concrete, usable advice. Thanks!!

  • @Mic_Glow
    @Mic_Glow Před 6 lety +6

    See, I didn't realize you can feel like that, but now I know how to decide. Notice me senpai.

  • @EmiKawaiiDoodle
    @EmiKawaiiDoodle Před 7 lety +77

    Q: Do every book need a prologue? What's the difference between a prologue and a first chapter? You are amazing! keep up the great work. :)

    • @VivienReis
      @VivienReis  Před 7 lety +37

      No, every book doesn't need a prologue. I plan to do a video on this topic, but a prologue is a piece of backstory that contributes to the main story in some way. Clive Cussler always comes to mind, as every one of his Dirk Pitt novels had a prologue. His usually centered on a piece inspired by true events, that would later come into play. I've actually been rethinking the prologue in my novel, but sshhhh! Don't tell anyone!

    • @EmiKawaiiDoodle
      @EmiKawaiiDoodle Před 7 lety +3

      Thank you for the explanation. Your plan to make a video on this would be a cool idea.

    • @trackyjon-jonandjimmymoop274
      @trackyjon-jonandjimmymoop274 Před 7 lety +10

      If I could throw my two cents in:Some people don't bother reading the prologue at all, preferring to get to the story right away.So if the information in the prologue is important, probably best to put it in a chapter.But no book "needs" a prologue. I'd suggest going to your local bookstore and flipping though the new releases of the genre you write to see what published authors are doing nowadays.

    • @EmiKawaiiDoodle
      @EmiKawaiiDoodle Před 7 lety

      My favorite genre is medieval fantasy. They don't usually just have prologue, but they also have prelude. And don't ask me the difference because it is different in each book. x) But I do always read them.

    • @trackyjon-jonandjimmymoop274
      @trackyjon-jonandjimmymoop274 Před 7 lety +3

      Emi Kawaii Doodle Prologues have long been a staple in fantasy. If I had to bet which random book at the library will have a prologue, I'd put my money on a fantasy. I always read them too. I figure if the author took the time to write it, it's worth my time. But you can't control how readers read. Some people read the last chapter first because they won't enjoy it unless they know the main character prevails at the end. All I mean to say is if the info in the prologue adds to the story, but isn't required reading, then go for it. But if we have to read the prologue in order to understand what's going on, probably best to put it in chapter 1.

  • @bradpryer
    @bradpryer Před 4 lety

    Thanks Vivien! That was great!!!!

  • @SteveDocSavage
    @SteveDocSavage Před 4 lety

    So helpful! I'm grateful to learn from you!

  • @jocelyncurrie5034
    @jocelyncurrie5034 Před 7 lety +47

    I like the dog in the back. And also are there any books you wrote????

  • @debbieheime7502
    @debbieheime7502 Před 7 lety +6

    You've got an adorable dog! So to sum it up, avoid writing things in essay-bullet point format, look out for repetition, and spruce up the EXPERIENCE with more live-anecdotal descriptions. Not sure if this makes sense, but hopefully the point clicks.

  • @kathythompson7038
    @kathythompson7038 Před 7 lety

    Have only recently found your video work and love it. Thanks for sharing!

  • @TalentedLMT
    @TalentedLMT Před 6 lety

    Love your advice so much! Thank you!

  • @moapchan1905
    @moapchan1905 Před 6 lety +16

    With all the constant cuts, you couldnt cut out the section of you dropping the camera. Why?

  • @EyeLean5280
    @EyeLean5280 Před 6 lety +17

    I know it's fashionable to consider it poor form, but honestly, isn't there a time and place for the passive voice? Can't it be used to subtly shed light on a character's internal state, for example?

    • @ProletariatPrince
      @ProletariatPrince Před 6 lety

      EyeLean5280 Its all subjective.

    • @katiekatie6289
      @katiekatie6289 Před 6 lety +9

      Writing advice that says "don't do this" and "don't do that" is simply bad writing advice. Words are tools. Writing fiction is about conveying certain ideas and feelings through text. Good writing advice should tell you what words to use in what situations depending on the goals of a particular part of your text; not simply tell you what you should do. If there was only one way to write there would be no such thing as a good writer, all you'd have to do is follow an instruction manual. What makes someone a good writer is using the correct tools - words - to achieve the desired affect. Writing is all about this kind of decision making. Just ask yourself "what am I trying to convey, and what would be the best way to go about this?"

    • @AnnaMaledonPictureBookAuthor
      @AnnaMaledonPictureBookAuthor Před 3 lety +1

      There are times it is ok OR best to use passive voice, for example, to explain sth quickly or to shorten a too-lengthy paragraph or chapter. You don't always have to SHOW SHOW SHOW. It is ok to tell sometimes, otherwise, you will overburden the reader with too many unnecessary details. The trick is to know when to use active and passive voice, but they are both needed for different purposes. You can simply say "Lara went to the shop to get wine." instead of writing the whole scene about it. Unless, of course, sth important happens in the shop.

  • @shannonmackinnon8262
    @shannonmackinnon8262 Před 5 lety +2

    Hey Vivian--thanks for the great videos! I am thoroughly am enjoying my discovery of you that I suddenly found this morning, suddenly and then began to watch. It makes me really very happy. :) Cheers!!

  • @jessicaroper8718
    @jessicaroper8718 Před 5 lety

    Thank you for the video! Love the content.

  • @plasmatize8494
    @plasmatize8494 Před 7 lety +15

    SO glad I watched this before writing much of my novel, or I'd likely go on to write a mess of clunky pompous prose.

  • @thelanguagegeek-fredgrun2064

    "He held me by the collar and stared at me so, that I *began to think* his first idea about cutting my throat had revived." ("Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens)
    "Standing at the bottom of the staircase, I *felt* the mildewed air of the feast-chamber, without seeing her open the door, and I *heard* her walking there." (Great Expectations)
    " He *decided* that he could beat anyone if he wanted to badly enough and he *decided* that it was bad for his right hand for fishing." ("The Old Man and the Sea" by Ernest Hemingway)
    "On being made acquainted with the present Mr. Darcy's treatment of him, she tried to *remember* some of that gentleman's reputed disposition when quite a lad which
    might agree with it, and was confident at last that she recollected having *heard* Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy formerly spoken of as a very proud, ill-natured boy." ("Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen)
    Damn, Dickens, Austen and Hemingway really can't write! Too bad they couldn't see your video, it would have helped them improve their style.

    • @VivienReis
      @VivienReis  Před 6 lety +5

      I think your excerpts highlight the fact that writing has changed significantly since these were written. My tips are for genre fiction and, as mentioned in the video, not every usage of each word should be deleted.

  • @deldarel
    @deldarel Před 7 lety +1

    I noticed that I was doing this by myself already about half of the time. Now that I know what to look for, I can give it that special attention the other half of the time that I do find myself writing these words.
    And I do use words like 'almost' or 'really', but mainly to show how unimportant the outcome is, or sometimes even ironically, since I often like to taunt the reader slightly.

  • @3rdmonocle789
    @3rdmonocle789 Před 6 lety

    I have watched 2 of your videos and have helped me understand what I have to do to write a great novel.
    I will have to watch more of your videos.

  • @hey-yw2cw
    @hey-yw2cw Před 6 lety +4

    I struggle using "that" all the time

    • @VivienReis
      @VivienReis  Před 6 lety +3

      Me too! My editor added some back (that made sense) but I was still like NOOOO! It's the devil!

  • @SneakyBadAssOG
    @SneakyBadAssOG Před 6 lety +3

    Why would I write everything in past tense? Especially if a character is experiencing something in present time.

  • @1MourningMIst
    @1MourningMIst Před 6 lety

    Thank you so much for your videos, they are so helpful.

  • @peterandrus8374
    @peterandrus8374 Před 3 lety

    Even better: "rain pattered the skylight"! i LOVE your videos. thank you. they help me

  • @Joeyal123
    @Joeyal123 Před 7 lety +448

    Best advice is to ignore all advice. Lee Child

    • @ecto.astronomer6702
      @ecto.astronomer6702 Před 6 lety +112

      Garret1912 in my opinion that sounds very naive

    • @joker_views
      @joker_views Před 6 lety +182

      Garret1912 but if you ignore all advice... then you should ignore THAT advice... and accept advice... but that advice tells you not to accept advice... but...

    • @Arkylie
      @Arkylie Před 6 lety +22

      Well, the principle is: Before you learn the rules, you can accomplish certain things that those who know the rules wouldn't generally think to do (see Blue Man Group). But this is very hit-or-miss, because the rules exist for a reason: They're the collected wisdom we've built up over the centuries.
      So it's good to learn the rules first. And once you understand the rules -- not merely their surface structure but why they exist and what happens when you don't follow them -- then you can make choices about when, where, and how to bend or break them for good effect. As Picasso pointed out, he knew perfectly well how to draw a "proper" figure, so wasn't it his choice at that point to draw in any way he wanted?
      Because the point is never to just stick to the rules. It is to create things that accomplish the goals you have for them. Sometimes following the rules does that; sometimes you can only accomplish that by breaking the rules. But if you don't understand the rules first, you can't really understand the best way to break them.
      When I'm writing scenes that depict a panic attack, I start to cut down on proper sentence structure, using more fragments and fewer complex sentences. I also use unreliable narration, because a person going through a panic attack is caught in a state where the brain doesn't respond to logic or reality. (A recent example of my writing: One character says, "It's scary, but it's not gonna kill you." Narration (from POV of the panicking person): This was how he was going to die.) By breaking a few basic rules, I get much closer to the feel of what it's like to have your body react to a threat that isn't even there. If I stuck to proper sentence structure and factual narration, it would be much harder to achieve this.
      So: Learn the advice, and put it into practice, until you get good enough to know when to follow it and when not to follow it. Wisdom is knowing when to apply different types of advice, and when to throw it out the window.

    • @TheMogul23
      @TheMogul23 Před 6 lety +9

      “Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.”
      ― Neil Gaiman

    • @thegreatbutterfly
      @thegreatbutterfly Před 6 lety +2

      That's incredibly bad advice. Though, ironically enough, this advice works well when applied to itself.

  • @AtticusStount
    @AtticusStount Před 6 lety +4

    Don't confuse less and fewer now ;)

  • @psmithrpm
    @psmithrpm Před 4 lety

    Excellent advice, thank you!

  • @planetleafy2744
    @planetleafy2744 Před 7 lety

    Gosh - I have a lot of work - but I am new to your posting and finding them really relatable and clear. Thank you.

  • @JaeStories87
    @JaeStories87 Před 7 lety +4

    Ava Jae (Bookish Pixie) just made a similar video last month. I never really thought about Filter Words before.

  • @Asimov16
    @Asimov16 Před 6 lety +3

    I am afraid that if you remove the word that, then the sentence is no longer grammatical. If it was in speech I would definately remove it, because not all speech has to be grammatical, but for non-speech I feel that it is important to keep it. Perhaps grammar does not matter so much in America

  • @summerrose7717
    @summerrose7717 Před 6 lety

    This is amazing! You're so wonderful!! Loved this video it was so helpful!❤❤

  • @MonaLisa-yb9bq
    @MonaLisa-yb9bq Před 4 lety

    I'm reading your blog. I appreciate the knowledge. Thank you.

  • @larssgt
    @larssgt Před 7 lety +6

    Thinking about all these rules doesn't mess with your creative process? Does it still flow? Also...Isn't having all these rules messing with your author voice?

    • @JulianGreystoke
      @JulianGreystoke Před 7 lety +3

      The rules are good to keep in the back of your head as you right, and even better for editing afterwards. Sometimes I catch myself as I draft, but often where I really find my issues is in editing. I don't think it messes with my voice at all.

    • @larssgt
      @larssgt Před 7 lety

      I wonder what if there is a good balance with all the rules. I also wonder if the reader will get tired.

    • @JulianGreystoke
      @JulianGreystoke Před 7 lety +2

      A balance must be found. As readers we can often tell when the rules aren't being well followed, or followed too tightly. We may not realize why we're put off by some writing, but it might be just that. Of course, every rule is made to be broken and I try not to tell writers "never do this" or "always do that." But the rules were made for a reason as well, so most of us come to a happy balance and hopefully work it out (with the help of Betas etc).

    • @larssgt
      @larssgt Před 7 lety +1

      That should be the next video. :) Finding the balance.

    • @nancyandaharon
      @nancyandaharon Před 7 lety +2

      I think this happens to me when I'm writing the way I 'talk' instead writing prose. Listening to the examples outloud didn't catch my attention but when I read them, I saw immediately how much eliminating these filter words improves the flow of the story.

  • @Chris_Cross
    @Chris_Cross Před 6 lety +3

    But wait. Adverbs are good. There's a reason adverbs are one of the eight parts of speech.
    Also, I see the doggo in the background. ^.^

  • @GarrettWiseman
    @GarrettWiseman Před 6 lety

    I love the fact that you didn't remove the camera falling. I truly enjoy when CZcamsrs show they are real people and mistakes happen to. also makes the videos more fun to watch. PS great video gave a thumb 👍 up.

  • @Desertphile
    @Desertphile Před 7 lety +157

    Slay all adverbs.

    • @carrot1681
      @carrot1681 Před 6 lety +45

      “Hey,” she screamed angrily.
      “Wow, agressive much?” he screamed back frantically.
      “I’m sorry!!!!” She cried apologetically.
      “I forgive you,” he answered lovingly.

    • @oOochikaraoOo
      @oOochikaraoOo Před 6 lety +69

      Adverbs are fine as long as you don't abuse them I think. The awkward examples seem to better illustrate the no-redundancy rule.

    • @OrifielM
      @OrifielM Před 6 lety +4

      Yes, adverbs will weaken your writing. A good guideline if you want to use them is to keep them to a maximum of two adverbs per 800 words.

    • @oOochikaraoOo
      @oOochikaraoOo Před 6 lety +37

      "Two adverbs per 800 words"
      Any such rule is BS. As soon as you're doing maths when writing, something's not quite right.
      The bottom line of most writing tips is "don't write anything unnecessary".
      What's necessary will of course vary with the times (see Proust...), from reader to reader and writer to writer. Rewriting is usually about cutting stuff, or finding the one word to replace that whole sentence.

    • @anonb4632
      @anonb4632 Před 6 lety +19

      Udon Nomaneim I have to agree with this. If you're applying maths to any artform as a general, inviolable rule then you're actually producing hackwork and a formulaic product.
      I think the American hatred of adverbs is more to do with their linguistic heritage. Many Americans are descended from speakers of German & Yiddish - neither of which use adverbs (or should I say, separate adverbial forms) - and this continues to influence their current speech e.g. "real good" crops up all the time in US English as opposed to "really good" or "really well".

  • @astral_haze
    @astral_haze Před 6 lety +4

    "That" and "of." These are technically grammatically necessary, and make sentences easier to translate. Many grammatically and/or punctuationally awful sentences can make sense, but they are still technically incorrect. Consider the following sentence:
    Know what this means?
    The correct way to say this would be this:
    Do you know what this sentence means?
    The meaning can be figured out, but I'm certain it'd have translation errors if one attempted machine translation, and the object of the word "this" is unclear.

  • @mikikitv4066
    @mikikitv4066 Před 4 lety

    You're a life saver. This will help me a lot. Thanks for your beautiful explanation.

  • @vladmaterial
    @vladmaterial Před 2 lety

    Thank you, good heads up for tightening writing.

  • @tadpoleontheweb
    @tadpoleontheweb Před 7 lety +4

    Less is more.

  • @erikals
    @erikals Před 6 lety +3

    3:33 Trump Words....

  • @effeffiagonalick5078
    @effeffiagonalick5078 Před 6 lety

    Now I have some things to try out when I rewrite! Thanks!

  • @Em-pu2hp
    @Em-pu2hp Před 6 lety

    Fantastic advice, thank you.

  • @Artechiza
    @Artechiza Před 6 lety +2

    I, in fact, aspire to be an editor! So you can't imagine how helpful this was! Thank you so much! Most of your advices also apply to Spanish (which is my mother tongue), so this was very useful. 😊