How to Emotionally Connect with a Character | Writing Advice
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- čas přidán 31. 05. 2024
- Are you struggling to emotionally connect to a character? Or maybe you don't like your character or don't understand them? In this video, I go over the signs and problems associated with not connecting to a character, explain what's really causing this problem, and some solutions, tips, and tricks you can try.
SHOW NOTES
Problems caused by a lack of connection to a character:
1. Their voice isn't distinct. It always sounds different or never sounds truly authentic to the character.
2. The character doesn't have anything to do in scenes or gets "lost" in scenes/conversations.
3. The character is unemotional, melodramatic, or expresses emotions arbitrarily or inconsistently.
4. You don't enjoy writing them.
A common reason for a lack of connection is under development in a few key areas of characterization:
1. Their motivation - The emotional driving force behind their goal. This may be the desire to shift from one "state" to another: from powerless to powerful, from lonely to loved, etc.
2. Their false belief - Something the character believes about themselves, other people, or the world that is harmful. For example, "the only way to be powerful is to put yourself above others." This is what changes to create the character arc (if an arc is present in the story).
3. Their key traits - Positive traits built from the motivation and negative traits built from the false belief. These are tangible/identifiable traits that impact their actions and interactions with others. In other words, the outward manifestations of their motivation and false belief.
Solutions to try:
1. Write out the motivation, false belief, and key traits. Start with the information you know and then brainstorm or extrapolate what you don't know.
2. Write out two key emotional scenes - the scene of backstory that created their false belief and the scene within the novel that has the highest level of emotion associated with the false belief or motivation.
3. Look at photographs that emotionally resonate with you to help establish a connection to the character, then redo the previous two exercises.
4. Make the character more similar to you by giving them a false belief or motivation that you find easier to relate to. - Jak na to + styl
I hope you guys like these longer videos. I enjoy digging a bit deeper into concepts rather than trying to keep things short and punchy, but let me know what you think. Many thanks as always for watching and supporting!
First of all queen thank you for coming back we'd wait forever for you and thank you for all you've done for the writing community you've somehow become one of my biggest inspirations and I didn't think an editor could do that. But in terms of the length of your videos yes more is more and we like more
We love longer videos! Thanks for posting :)
Ellen Brock Yes, I love longer videos. I hang on every word you say. Keep up the good work!
Big fan of longer videos, it's way more interesting and useful to give some topic a proper in-depth thought than just skim the surface :)
We're being spoilt now😆 It is nice to see you back!
I wanna shout from the rooftops that Ellen is back but I feel like she's our little secret.
😊😊
@Joanna Dl If everyone writes good books, than no one will.
Ha ha I am new and here to stay!!!!
And that friends, is the mentality that kills a good channel.
If the channel doesn't grow, the content creator doesn't make money, the audience stagnates, and ultimately dies. You lose an opportunity to gather more people who like the things you like together around a common interest, and hurt everyone involved.
Also, no matter how popular a writing instructor is, they cannot make a writer great who doesn't have the talent, so don't worry about the competition.
Weird suggestion; I had one character I couldn't understand. I went out for a walk into the forest and talked aloud to this character. Admittedly a little insane but after a two hours walk I had alot more understanding. I guess sometimes also doing activities with characters in the back of your mind might help (Preferably activities that don't require lot of brain power like jigsaw puzzles/gardening/knitting/scetching) rather than trying to brute force it.
Another one; talk with other people about characters. They might not have answers, but they sure might have questions. I noticed when I let my friends read my study I got the question "Why did she decide to study art? She hasn't shown an interest in that at all." Very insightful.
Actually, this is genius!
When I can't figure out a character, I do one of two things depending on who is around me (or not around me). If my friends are around, I ask them to ask me any question they want to know about this character. Anything at all. All I have to do is tap in to the character, picture them there beside me IRL and able to participate in a way, and then shut down my own brain to make space for them to shine through. My friend asks the question, the character answers and I act as a microphone - all I do is say aloud what the character said. It's helped me so much! I was having a hard time figuring out one of the male protags in my book Dragon Girl early into the second revision, and then my friend and I got into a conversation about it and they asked me some questions and I discovered this technique completely by happy accident. I discovered things about this character I had no clues about beforehand, but everything clicked the more we talked and it really helped me unlock him.
But if no one is around and won't be for a decent while, I get out a couple pieces of paper or a notebook, a pen or pencil I don't have to pay much attention to (cartridge or piston fountain pens, disposable rollerball pens, mechanical pencils with the side advance, etc), and I first create a list of things I want to ask the character. Once I'm fairly certain I have what I want, I tap in to them with half of my mindspace and, shutting down a lot of conscious thought so I can focus on the character's responses, I write out a private interview. Yes, including tag lines and script format and anything I can think of that will help communicate more information than just what the character is SAYING. I've used this technique a couple of times and while it doesn't work as well as the first one because I get bored so quickly and end up cutting the interview short, it has helped me get to know a few characters that now I hold quite close because I resonate with them so much.
I haven't had a chance to try any other techniques but you can bet I'm taking notes and I can't wait until I can give these a try!
And the the clouds opened up and the angels sang out in a heavenly chorus, and a video from Ellen Brock decended down to a writer on this fateful NaNo day who is slugging along with a fleshed-out plot, but lost who her initial love for her main characters somewhere along the way. And there was much rejoicing.
They may be longer, but they are still concise and well structured. I keep watching them to the very end. Interesting, useful and insightful - thank you for all of your efforts and sharing. You have a huge impact on my writing.
I can't even connect to myself. I just crave for something
Mood. I connect to your predicament though.
I feel that wholeheartedly. I’m lost pretty much everyday.
Loneliness and I are old companions.
Same here! I see writing as a way to connect to my own emotions, it helps.
I love this advice because it is nearly impossible to write a good character when you can't connect with them. One other thing that can help is to interview them. Three books into a series I'd planned out, I realized I couldn't stand one of the main characters from book five. No matter what I did, I did NOT like her. So in desperation, I wound up interviewing her and her sister. Though it felt a little awkward at first, after a few minutes, the characters started 'becoming' real. Surprisingly, it wasn't long before they revealed a childhood that helped me to understand who this woman really was, which made her very easy to write.
Not having a "mind's eye" is called aphantasia. it's really hard to write like that tbh
YES IT IS!! Lol.
I have multiple ways as to how I create my characters. But the most important thing that I do is put something of myself into them so that they’ll be relatable to me. Positives as well as negatives.
One of my characters is a perfectionist, another is very self-concious, etc.
I do this for my antagonists as well. One of them is a absolutely misanthropic, sociopathic piece of shit that I hate with a passion. He mostly got my negative traits. Lol.
Thanks, girl, this was super helpful! I like how you explain things deeply and use books as examples. Most videos say "Do this." And I'm like "Okay, but how? Why?"
Great job; keep it up!
This was so helpful. I’ve been stuck for a while and didn’t even realize this was why till I saw the title of your video. Thanks so much! I can’t wait to give these ideas a try and see if it helps push me along.
Good luck! I hope the suggestions work for you!
I draw quite heavily on both the MBTI and the Enneagram when creating my characters.
Thanks for the video! It should help me write my protagonist's abusive father in such a way that he's not just a cardboard cutout designed to pop out at you from around the corner and do something evil on cue.
Yes. I think both (and other personality types) tools are useful for creating diverse, complex characters.
Maybe especially Enneagram since it basically deals with inner conflict
The timing of your comeback will help those finishing up Nanowrimo in another week especially those jumping directly into editing
I struggled with writing a character of a 24-year-old woman. As a childless boomer, trying to get inside the head of a Gen Zer of the opposite gender was a challenge. I read novels centered around protagonists in their 20s. I listened to CZcamsrs that fit that profile. I listened to music written by women in their mid-20s. I had a few conversations with younger friends and colleagues. It helped. I'm still not sure I could write a novel where the protagonist is a twenty-something woman, but I can now write such side characters, even secondary characters.
*Such wonderful advice.*
A few years ago, I spent months plotting out a story where the MC had a foil (not actually an antagonist) who basically treats her like shit, but I didn't really have a good sense of him until I dug into his background and insecurities a little. He's awful to the MC because his past traumas (which were already part of his backstory but that I'd not really sat down and THOUGHT about) have made him just insanely protective of the people and things he loves and perceives as good and innocent, and also made him so untrusting that he just outright views all outsiders as a threat. So he's nasty to her because his love for others makes him protective and pushy to keep her from potentially harming them. And, once I really internalized how much his past informed his present, he actually became an MC himself, and just so much deeper as a character. And that allowed, to my absolute surprise, a third act development where he and the other MC started to bond pretty deeply over their shared traumas and insecurities.
Reference-photos are good, too. They don't help me get more invested in the characters per se, but they definitely help me envision interactions and events more clearly.
Wow, I really love the "false belief" device. It's so intuitive to see how something like this can be used to drive a character arc, way more than just "give a character flaws". I think it might be because it's not just important that characters do imperfect things, but to understand why they do them - and it's that understanding of why that actually drives direction for reasonable flaws. it's all about humanization.
Don't be surprised if you see your name in the acknowledgements of many novels. Your advice is like the most valuable gemstone I've found in youtube.
Something that helps me is philosophy. Every human has their own philosophies they believe that directly affect their outlook and behaviors, so realistic characters are the same. Someone who's nihilistic vs. someone who's carefree and doesn't think deeply about things, vs. someone who's religious vs someone who's superstitious. Then take that philosophy and infer out some common values, things they value above others. Some people value love and a caring spirit, others value truth (even if it hurts) or tough love; some value peace above all else (pacifist), others value loyalty or safety. Values don't have to be opposites either. Obviously these things can't be set in stone (someone who values love over harmful truths may still try and break a hard truth gently to someone they love, instead of just never bringing it up, depending on the circumstances).
I know i’m late to this video but thank you so much for addressing that some people can’t visualize! I’ve always relied on specific real-world locations to inform the descriptions of my scenes and taking photos has been a super helpful tool for me.
Compared to a video from 2017 I saw from you, I love your energy in this one. It’s very calm, your voice is really pleasant to listen to, and I feel like we’re just sitting down and having a conversation. It looks so professional too. I love watching your videos. Your advice is always super helpful, and I don’t feel like you’re preaching or selling, I just feel like you’re sharing your experience. Thank you for posting all these videos.
I'm all up for the longer videos. Love them. The more I hear your advice, the more I am able to focus on the flaws and shining diamonds of my own work. A huge Thank You!
You give the best writing advice on the internet.
KM Weiland calls the False Belief the Lie, and the Wound is the event (usually in backstory, if ever shown) that inculcates that lie.
Love the advice, quite timely. Keep up the good work. Thank you!
Just thinking about the things you recommended has helped a ton with understanding my current characters, and that's something I've always had a problem with. Thanks for doing this video.
That's awesome to hear! I'm really glad.
This was really helpful, even for forging a deeper connection with a character you know pretty well already. My issue was I knew my main character well but not why he would be interested in his love interest; why her specifically? You helped me figure it out, it’s connected to his worldview and view of himself. I really liked the suggestion to find an image of how he presents himself to the world, and an image of how he sees himself internally.
I’ve been struggling with this same thing. Can you elaborate more on how you got your solution?
This one really got me thinking, because I'm having trouble defining my main character. Once I found a stock photo of what I imagine her to look like, it became easier. It's just that currently her personality is too passive for my liking.
I've noticed in many of the books that I read that I usually don't care very much about the main character, but instead I want to see how the story plays out and how clever or original the author is in writing that story.
One exercise that some people might find useful - if you can't make a character come off the page, imagining your book as a film and think whom you would ideally cast in that role. In particular, try hearing that character's dialogue (or internal monologue) spoken by a variety of distinctive voices (Marilyn Monroe in "Happy Birthday Mr President" mode, for example, or Al Pacino in full-tilt rant, or Orson Welles, or James Earl Jones, etc.)
Great stuff. Making my protagonist's insecurities align with mine a little has certainly helped - as has the enneagram personality test!
The photographs idea seems genius!
I wanna add to the Myers briggs test advice: There is another that is Called Ennagram. It has 9 Personality types for each one it defines what the type is about, their basic fear, basic desire and key motivation and potential addictions. The most helpful part though is in my opinion that each type is further split into 9 Levels from healthy to unhealthy and what behaviors they exibit on that level. I think that helps so much with creating character development that feels organic. Because I struggled a lot with knowing where my character starts and where I want them to end up but not knowing what is happening in the in-between without a sudden jump from a to b. Also they add a personal growth recommendation for each type which is interesting to look into if you don't know yet what that Charakter will struggle with.
This was so amazingly helpful! I use MBTI with my characters but found that Enneagram also helps with characterization as it really touches on the false beliefs one might have about themselves and helps identify that wound a character may have.
I needed this so much😭😭😭😭! I've been struggling with my protagonist for the longest time😭. Thank you!!!!
Solid advice as always! Good to hear from people who understand what they're talking about.
I really enjoyed this perspective. I knew that I was having problems with this character, but I thought that it was mostly due to him being a much younger age than I'm used to writing, but the exercises really helped me. Thank you.
Ellen Brock is the best there is out here. She is so generous with the tips and tools that you have to pay big bucks to get in recipe form with the ingredients, but not the steps. So, I thank you.
I like this video. I find if I know what is truly motivating the character, many of the details and dialog fall into place, for the most part. Even the most minor character who is on stage for two scenes before he/she gets the hook has an underlying motivation diving them. And where writing gets tricky and very rewarding is to use the motivation to drive the story forward. Character is a snarky jerk, ok but why and how can I use snarky jerk to push the story forward. Very satisfying when it works.
So excited that your back!
Your videos are always super helpful!
I'm so glad you are back! I love your videos, and definitely the longer ones. I love really digging into details!!
This has been so helpful. I was struggling with this character for so long. I have been searching all over CZcams for a solution, but all of the other videos had me trying to figure out my character's favorite food or something like that. You are the first one that seems to have an idea on how to fix this problem, and so I am definitely subscribing to you. Hope to see a lot more of your videos!
This is so incredibly helpful for me. I have a character who is a central figure in my novel but is not the protagonist. I have thought that he is a lot like me in some superficial ways but I need to go deeper because the protagonist is the one who is really more like me and I have come to know her very well. These tips look like they will open him up to me in ways i have not seen Thank you so much!
You always have the key to save my life! I can't live without your videos, queen ♥
Your videos are great, your advice is focused and practical, and your talent for editing really shines through in the composition of your videos (e.g. not just recycling the same advice over and over again across multiple videos which is something I see a lot in these types of videos on CZcams). Thanks for making these.
Firstly, a belated welcome back. You have a great habit of not just discussing writing woes and pitfalls, as so many content creators do, but also providing potential solutions. In this particular instance, doing so from multiple common mindsets folks might harbor. That's pretty rad. And it's worth the stretch to the runtime.
Wow! This is absolutely my favorite writing advice and practical suggestions anyone can do. Love the extra advice at the end.
The work you've put into this video is incredible! Thank you!
Thanks Ellen this video just clicked for me somehow. I've struggled with character creation for some time now and the articles you mention just didn't do it for me. I think your tips might just be what I needed! Thanks.
I also definitely like these longer deep-dive videos!
This is perfect. Always grateful for your videos!
I 100% needed this video. Thank you.
i like how you recap your points at the end of each topic. very helpful and thank you for the wonderful content.
I love these videos. They are SO helpful!! Thank you.
Wow. Two pics of one character. That’s a clever idea for writing from their personality! Thank you. Love your content btw.
Wow, this is actually the most helpful and on point writing problem solving video I've seen about this. 🙇♀️
Loved this, Ellen. Thanks so much for it.x
Firstly thank you Ellen!!! I have been doing all sorts of character tests that didn't help at all. Now I can finally write thank you so much!
Thank you very much. That was super helpful. I've been feeling stuck around bringing my characters more to life and hadn't come across these suggestions before. I feel hopeful!
Thank you so much for this helpful video! I always come to your channel first for writing advice :)
You are amazing!! For every problem I have , you have a video that teaches me how to fix it!!!!! Thank you!!!! Ellen, you are a gifted teacher. Thank you for sharing your insights!
Ellen, you are really outdoing yourself. Great video. I'm in the middle of my fifth novel, and your comprehensive tips keep me on track.
Thank you! Your analysis is so spot on!
Thank you so much, this is precisely the advice I needed to improve my novel !
I'm in my 30s and this is my first ever comment on CZcams, just to show how major this is for me. I LOVE your videos. They are always helpful, and you have a solution to every problem I face, explained very clearly and with the complexity that writing requires. Just wanted to say a massive thank you!! I'm a big fan.
Holy sh.... I feel enlighted after watching this video. I never do this, but thank you, Ellen. For real. Your advice is reaching out to people in Venezuela: myself. You should feel proud of what you're doing. You're like a mentor in many aspects of novel writing for me and many others.
This was so helpful! I've tried using a "what they think they want / what they actually want" but I found the answers to those questions were pretty muddy. Using the "false belief" really helps clarify what they are working towards, how it plays into their motivations, and why they act the way they do. Thanks so much for the help!
I really like the third exercise. Will definitely use it, even if it's not the exact way as described.
Only secone video by you that I am watching (first was the one about 4 types of novel writers) and wanted to tell you, you are a gem! Your takes are original!
You've been incredibly helpful. Thank you!
Thank you so much, Ellen! You've helped me connect with two of my minor characters a great deal with your tips.
Can you make more videos like this where you explain concepts? And examples would be great too. Thank you for your videos!
A method I use is to build connections with other characters. Have them meet another character and spend some time with them. Sometimes interactions make more interesting things surface than if the character is in a situation on their own.
Think about what dynamic they would have, what similarities or difference they may have, and have them bond over something - being stuck in a room together because they both know character A but character A is currently busy, or have them sit together in the same art class every Thursday, or have one of them accidentally see them hiding an object and then run into them later and apologize. Personality comes out a lot more strongly around other people imo, so this really help me
This is very insightful guidance, thank you!
You have the best content, so informative and helpful. Thank you, I really appreciate it. I now feel confident that my novel will be finished.
Always great to see a new vid!
Thank you for this video. I've been struggling alot with a scene in my book cos I can't connect with one of the essential side characters, your video has given me some ideas on how to try to connect with the character and understand why I couldn't.
Yet another video! Yay! 😊👍🏻
Looking forward to your new content
I love your videos! This one is extremely helpful for me. Thanks so much.
Oh wow! Exactly what I need! Thank you!
Yes! Love the depth.
This video was so helpful!!! Thank you so much! I'm hoping to fix the problem within the next drafts of my story :)
This was helpful. I have been having trouble with a character who is mute and, for a while, fairly out of it due to a traumatic event. Perhaps working with his false belief that he can't speak will help me get unstuck. He might need a mentor who helps him remember what happened to him. I know why he refuses to speak, the reader knows what happened to him, but he does not.
thank you! your videos are always very helpful. I always find something useful and meaningful to me, and this is amazing! your content is also very original, and this is very cool, it's important for me to know something else except for "show not tell" and "use a writing journal"
you are amazing!!
Thank you, this really helped. The character I'm trying to develop is not based on some I know in real life, so I had a hard time connecting; it forced me to go back and do more character development. I think I have a real character now. Really enjoy your videos; thanks again.
Wonderful! So glad I could help!
Very helpful. My main character is based on me and frankly he's dull. All he does is watch videos about writing rather than sitting down and actually writing.
Loved this video~~ So helpful!!
Hey, you are back! :-) :-) :-) I am so happy! I really missed your videos!
Helpful like all your videos, Ellen. Thank you! Would love to hear you talking about character arcs in series in one of your next videos? I am writing a fantasy series and find it very hard to split my main character's wants, needs, goals... into several pieces so she will progress from book to book.
Thanks for another great video. You really help. I love your suggestion about getting a picture. I worked in airline reservations for a second career, and I got four photos of people's so I had someone to "talk to."
Keep up the great work 👍
This is inspiring me to go do some writing. Thanks for another great video.
Your content is a life-saver ❤
Hi Ellen,
I was trying to work on this character emotional connection and your video has been informative and very useful, thanks ;)
This video is such a great refresher. Thanx, EB :^D
That was freaky! I was just thinking about mbti seconds before you brought it up. I have also found some good insight taking the test as my characters. I try not to use the type as a limiting factor but instead let it inform things I may not have considered on my own. It can also show you if your characters run the risk of being too similar. A disproportionate amount of mine are introverted, so that's something I may work towards changing. Because I have a large cast, I'd ideally like to showcase all 16 personalities, but it seems my own perspective is holding that back.
I have been stuck on motivations for a month or two. The Myers-Brigs idea has clarified a lot for my characters - and even started off one or two fights between them! (Hoping to regain control!)
Great idea on the MBI!
Great video, Ellen, and thanks; this is very helpful. I'm currently writing a book with four main characters, and I've been able to connect with all except for one of them, and I haven't been able to figure out why. It's not that I can't connect to them at all; it's just that I can't connect to them nearly as well as the other three.
I find writing out a conversation between me and my character is very helpful. I visualize us sitting together talking candidly about something that is happening in the book. What does your character say? What do they hold back from saying? What do you wish they would say but know they can’t or won’t? Try visualizing similar conversations between different characters too. Do they hold back different things with different people?
Great advice!
Wow, this video was exactly what I needed these days (finishing nano, yeah)
That Myers-Briggs thing is pretty creative ngl.
A related ideas I had is from when I took the Enneagram test and read up on the different personality types. I thought I should set my characters as one of those types to help with their consistency.
Brilliant approach
You are amazing, thank you so much ❤❤❤🤗