Thank you for acknowledging the savior complex! I help adoptees locate their birth families and all of them consistently tell me that their adoptive families, friends, and strangers tell them how lucky they are to have been so wanted that someone adopted them. Many adoptive parents are narcissistic and abusive. Even good parents out there want the praise that comes with adopting a child. Some even choose a child who is obviously a different race or ethnicity so the adoption is obvious because they want their "good deed" to be seen by everyone they come across, whether they interact with them or not.
I grew up with my bio parents and still know nothing of our family history or grandparents. Due to a toxic environment, they don’t talk about anything at all and would shut us out if we asked. Even if it’s about medical concerns. It’s been nearly two decades, I see my mom but I still know nothing of her or our family. Not sure if that helps, I can relate in a way but obviously I still know my bio parents. And that’s different.
Absolutely. It’s interesting how family history can become lost within a few generations even without adoption. I like to watch Who Do You Think You Are on CZcams where people (celebrities) learn more about family history that was lost due to family members not talking about it or misremembering
Thank you for this. Your video sparked memories of the BBC documentary about Katie Pohler - Meet me on the bridge - available on CZcams. You mentioned being a minority. In Sydney where I live about 10% are Asian. They have been very successful in medicine, the law and media and are generally very well respected. Ironically my Asian friend says says the stereotype is that all Asians are super smart especially at maths. She is smart but dislikes maths.=thanks again.
The reason why I decided to have kids because i felt alone, I want to see my blood line,... I got depressed and suffered so much..but no one believes that i am grateful for being adpted ... i am often misunderstood
I would also like to have biological kids because I want that blood connection. It can be hard when people don’t understand why we feel the way we do when it comes to our adoptions. It’s not like I’m ungrateful, I’m just curious about certain things and would be interested in knowing them
Mine is already a dead end. I tried everything but all leads is impossible I'm already 44 and foster parents already passed away, My foster brothers has no idea, seems like I need to stop. It's enough that I got 3 kids already and they'll start building my blood line. Hugs Scarlet... Don't stop looking... I am praying for you and your biological parents reunion.
You know I actually rebel, my life was ruined because of my mindset, i got depression i really could not understand myself and now I have a terrible anxiety, that's why I agreed when you said it's important to know our roots so we would know our family history...I truly agree with you
I’ve actually already done dna tests with 23andMe and Ancestry DNA. Only showing 3rd to distant cousins at the moment unfortunately. I have a video on my channel where I go over all of my results.
Thank you for acknowledging the savior complex! I help adoptees locate their birth families and all of them consistently tell me that their adoptive families, friends, and strangers tell them how lucky they are to have been so wanted that someone adopted them. Many adoptive parents are narcissistic and abusive. Even good parents out there want the praise that comes with adopting a child. Some even choose a child who is obviously a different race or ethnicity so the adoption is obvious because they want their "good deed" to be seen by everyone they come across, whether they interact with them or not.
yep, you just described my parents
it's better than living in a foster home.
You sound like a reasonable person except for the health history. Bloodwork can figure all that out without knowing family history.
I grew up with my bio parents and still know nothing of our family history or grandparents. Due to a toxic environment, they don’t talk about anything at all and would shut us out if we asked. Even if it’s about medical concerns. It’s been nearly two decades, I see my mom but I still know nothing of her or our family.
Not sure if that helps, I can relate in a way but obviously I still know my bio parents. And that’s different.
Absolutely. It’s interesting how family history can become lost within a few generations even without adoption.
I like to watch Who Do You Think You Are on CZcams where people (celebrities) learn more about family history that was lost due to family members not talking about it or misremembering
Thank you for this. Your video sparked memories of the BBC documentary about Katie Pohler - Meet me on the bridge - available on CZcams. You mentioned being a minority. In Sydney where I live about 10% are Asian. They have been very successful in medicine, the law and media and are generally very well respected. Ironically my Asian friend says says the stereotype is that all Asians are super smart especially at maths. She is smart but dislikes maths.=thanks again.
Hey, I'm also American adopted from China! For once the YT algorithm does right, I guess lol. Your channel is suuuper relatable 😅
That’s awesome! What part of China were you born in?
@@ScarlettFuyin 湖南! I was adopted at about 1yo. What about you?
Nice. I was adopted about 1yo too from I was born in 阳江 (Yangjiang) but I actually met my adoptive parents in Guangzhou
@@ScarlettFuyinoh cool! I was living in Changsha but we also had to go through Guangzhou to sort out US visa things.
Same here, the reason why Istarted this channel of mine because I wanted to find my family but i honestly do not know how
The reason why I decided to have kids because i felt alone, I want to see my blood line,... I got depressed and suffered so much..but no one believes that i am grateful for being adpted ... i am often misunderstood
I would also like to have biological kids because I want that blood connection.
It can be hard when people don’t understand why we feel the way we do when it comes to our adoptions. It’s not like I’m ungrateful, I’m just curious about certain things and would be interested in knowing them
Same, there’s so little information to go to. Like, would I contact the Social Welfare institute in Yangjiang to see if they have more info on me?
Mine is already a dead end. I tried everything but all leads is impossible I'm already 44 and foster parents already passed away, My foster brothers has no idea, seems like I need to stop. It's enough that I got 3 kids already and they'll start building my blood line. Hugs Scarlet... Don't stop looking... I am praying for you and your biological parents reunion.
You know I actually rebel, my life was ruined because of my mindset, i got depression i really could not understand myself and now I have a terrible anxiety, that's why I agreed when you said it's important to know our roots so we would know our family history...I truly agree with you
maybe you can take a 23andMe test to figure out family tree? maybe....
I’ve actually already done dna tests with 23andMe and Ancestry DNA. Only showing 3rd to distant cousins at the moment unfortunately.
I have a video on my channel where I go over all of my results.