The 7 Most Popular Sexual Fantasies - FANTASIES Revealed!

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  • čas přidán 5. 10. 2020
  • We’re kicking off the month of October by revealing the top 7 most common fantasies, according to the largest study to date on the sexual fantasies of Americans.
    RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS VIDEO:
    How To Start Talking About Sex With Your Partner - Even If You Never Have Before
    sextalksbook.com
    Recommended Products
    www.vmtherapy.com/recommended-products
    Our Website:
    www.vmtherapy.com
    FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
    Instagram: / vanessaandxander
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    Pinterest: / vanessaandxander
    If we haven’t met before, hi! We’re Vanessa and Xander Marin, and we’ve been together since 2007. Vanessa’s a licensed psychotherapist with 20 years of experience in the sex therapy field. Xander’s a regular dude who’s here to show you that you don’t need a graduate degree or license to have extraordinary intimacy. We co-authored the New York Times best selling book, Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, and we have a business that helps couples keep the spark alive in long-term relationships.
    Get my weekly emails (and a free gift!) by signing up at: vmtherapy.com/subscribe/
    #fantasy #sex #sextherapy #relationships #communication #expectationsvsreality #ltr #longtermrelationship #marriage #relationshiphealth #sexualhealth #talkaboutsex #talk #communicationhacks #sexandrelationships #sexpectations #romantic #romance #sexy #relationshiphacks #sexhacks #sexandintimacy #fantasies

Komentáře • 325

  • @janrabie1890
    @janrabie1890 Před rokem +528

    I fantasize about going to the traffic department and having my driver's licence renewed within 10 minutes.

    • @rodhenderson2885
      @rodhenderson2885 Před rokem +19

      That’s quiet a fantasy!

    • @dreperez7373
      @dreperez7373 Před rokem +9

      😂😂😂

    • @mf7482
      @mf7482 Před rokem +10

      So the fulfillment of that fantasy is either being first in line, the very first in line at your local DMV on a Monday morning, first Monday in the month, or you are the very last applicant for a drivers license at the end of the day before they close up and head out the door locking it behind them

    • @haroldrogers6566
      @haroldrogers6566 Před rokem +6

      😂😂😂

    • @jabroski69
      @jabroski69 Před rokem +7

      I fantasize about my wife doing dirty things some dirty dirty clothes and some dirty dishes and most of all clean this dirty filthy house

  • @soulconnections88
    @soulconnections88 Před rokem +42

    I just want one partner that loves me as much as I love them. No sharing.

    • @aprilhuml7006
      @aprilhuml7006 Před 3 měsíci +2

      I just left a very long relationship from a narcissist, controlling, manipulating, mental and verbal abuse, brainwashing man. I'm 56 we've been friends since we were 14. He was the one person I thought I could trust. Found out he was having phone sex, email sex, online sex for past 6 years. He broke the one thing I never thought he could do to me. I left a mess. I'm trying to find myself again. 20 years with him and he did same sex position every single time. I asked him to try different positions, for play, etc... he gave me nothing.
      I'm never letting someone do that to me again

    • @kingblue2414
      @kingblue2414 Před měsícem

      You're talking about reality, relax, yall too serious

  • @debbiebrannon1972
    @debbiebrannon1972 Před 3 lety +41

    Xander . . . you had so much fun on our group coaching call that you decided to do this full-time! Good for you! You make a great team! :)

    • @JamminClemmons
      @JamminClemmons Před rokem +2

      **Debbie Brannon,** Nearly 18 months ago, I started a Yoga exercise routine. It's very demanding at the beginning but after a few months it became much easier. I can actually, errrrrr, (allow me to be G-rated here), I can turn my face to place my ear on my lap.
      I told my wife about it where she told me to demonstrate. I did, with mouth open (read between the lines....lol). She then told her best friend and the gossip train began. GOD! Why can't women keep a secret? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? !

    • @Arwaa.M.Jarrin
      @Arwaa.M.Jarrin Před 2 měsíci

      You may think that celibacy and Chastity and the purity of the heart and thought might kill you but it will not. It will make you the best possible version of yourself. And never think that it is too late. Never think that you are too old or had too many sexual relationships and cannot become celibate and Chaste now. That is the greatest trick of the devil. Never ever back off from celibacy and Chastity -keep trying keep praying and keep praying and keep crying to God to give you the strength and the power and the ability to stay celibate and chaste no matter how old you are and no matter how many relationships you had.
      You may think it is useless for you to become celibate and chaste now. But your life will and definitely will change. Your life might take the better turn, you may become a saint you may became the most honoured person in the world. You may find true friendship and true love and Chastity and celibacy. You may find honour and fulfilment and contentment of the heart and most importantly if you are depressed you will certainly and most certainly will find every happiness and every contentment in celibacy and chastity. Every single depressed person found the cure to depression the moment they decided to become chaste and celibate. Within 5 years not a single person stays depressed any longer. And only those who suffer from depression will know the maddening pain that depressed people feel and how it eats their soul away. And that answer to the cure of depression is celibacy and chastity.
      You may think that it is too late and continue on the path of relationships. And then you will see yourself becoming weaker and more pathetic and dependent on another human being. You will find yourself falling in love with this woman or that man. You will become insane for human beings because inside you will be disgusted of yourself and will be hating yourself. And then you may One Day end up becoming a stalker. And then you will find yourself destroying any rival who comes near your beloved. You may end up becoming a monster a killer who kills his rival to keep a woman or a man with himself. You may end up destroying an entire religion because that religion looks down upon your sexuality. You may end up murdering millions of people of that religion because that religious people does not support your sexual views. You may find yourself framing and humiliating an entire religion because you feel offended by their thousands of years old laws. You may end up destroying an entire country because the man who stole a woman's love from you belongs to that country. You may end up in the next 10 years becoming the worst possible monster in the universe. If you continue on the path of relationships. Because relationships will make you depressed and weak, and that depression will eat your soul away and destroy your mind and your heart and will make you completely mentally emotionally and physically dependent on another human being for every minute of survival. And that dependency on that human will be the cause of every evil action in the world.

  • @pgsaravanos
    @pgsaravanos Před rokem +7

    Wow, I so much needed to hear this, good job thank you!

  • @gunther123ful
    @gunther123ful Před rokem +3

    loved it! strictly speaking, not difficulty with partner activity, disagree about my nudism/naturism. she disapproves

  • @playfulpair8443
    @playfulpair8443 Před rokem +48

    Loved your top 7 fantasies video. You look like you really love helping people understand sex can be an adventure.
    I've lived a charmed life. I married a model, Together we have explored every fantasy we can think of. We vacation at Pearl in Cancun, a clothing option resort, attended an orgy at a swingers convention in Reno, explored BDSM clubs and maintain a bit of a Stag/Vixen relationship for over 20 years. A strong loving relationship and bucket load of honest communication along with an adventurous, positive outlook on life seems to be the key to it all. Currently as a general contractor I build sex rooms for lovers. Life is good. Can't wait to check out more of your videos.

  • @spierslp
    @spierslp Před 2 měsíci +1

    Thank you for such a positive video. I wish I could have an open conversation like this

  • @macavelli8905
    @macavelli8905 Před rokem +5

    Good video playful and informative..

  • @thenaturalfreak1939
    @thenaturalfreak1939 Před rokem +1

    Very informative. Thanks

  • @dinil5566
    @dinil5566 Před rokem +14

    6:47 ohhh byoooyyyyyyy 🤣🤣🤣 they fought after this video lol

  • @MissileGuidance
    @MissileGuidance Před rokem +2

    Awesome and funny video ! 😁

  • @richardhankla6887
    @richardhankla6887 Před rokem +6

    Love it, you both are fantastic....

  • @steveroberts2202
    @steveroberts2202 Před rokem +33

    Great stuff! My sweetie and I are in our early 80s. We have a healthy and active sex life. You folks have a lot of good, helpful insights and we'll follow you!

    • @dwightdodd3734
      @dwightdodd3734 Před rokem +3

      that's fantastic !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @Johnnysmithy24
      @Johnnysmithy24 Před 11 měsíci +7

      You’re still active in your 80s? Dayum brotha

  • @NDZ-jf8ur
    @NDZ-jf8ur Před rokem +4

    Wait, when we talk about fantasies or fantasizing are we talking about simply thinking about sex or simply thinking about sex while jerking off? Clarification needed because these are two very different things when it comes to how often or how much time you spend "thinking" about your fantasies.

  • @jerrypeevey
    @jerrypeevey Před rokem +3

    Sounds like my Christmas list 😎

  • @kawancraigstewart
    @kawancraigstewart Před rokem

    Couldn’t help but notice how masculine Zander is . Keep up the good work

  • @francispuleo2382
    @francispuleo2382 Před měsícem +1

    Keep up the good work it definitely gives you a thought process that might improve sex

  • @nerissacrawford8017
    @nerissacrawford8017 Před rokem +11

    I recently got a huge kink for men in stilleto heels. Like combat boot style stiletto heels. Everything is normal to the masculine aesthetic [suits and biker outfits are the best for me] but the heels. Heels on a Dom is so incredibly hot. Sexy, sexy, sexy thing. The thing is finding straight man that likes this/or woud even wear them as part of their fashion is second to none.

  • @zebontheweb
    @zebontheweb Před 19 hodinami

    Partner swapping is a very rocky path. I once thought as long as I could hookup with novel people, it wouldn’t bother me if my parter did… but no no no, it was a world of hurt, and the heart became terribly torn.

  • @toddoakes458
    @toddoakes458 Před rokem

    Good show thanks todd

  • @photomanwilliams4147
    @photomanwilliams4147 Před rokem +7

    The terms used to describe the "act" is where people get confused about a "like" or" dislike" in the BDSM world.. For example, I am a photographer, and a member of many photography clubs. These clubs are made up of all types of people who like being in front, or behind a camera. Many know they will never make it as a mainstream glamour model, but still enjoy creating art being photographed. I've found asking women to let me tie them up or if I use the term "bondage" few are willing. but use the term damsel in distress or mature artistic art photography so many more are willing, and even admit they have an interest.

    • @theplaintruth4794
      @theplaintruth4794 Před rokem

      I fell for that. I still worry that those photos could show up somewhere sometime. Even though he was a good guy and seems trustworthy, he really does have my photos and it's a huge amount of trust. Never betray the trust that someone like me puts in someone like that. As I get older, I care more about those ramifications. As you mention, it was for the sake of art. I'd like more control over those vulnerable images. Personalities matter a lot if you want someone to let their guard down.

    • @photomanwilliams4147
      @photomanwilliams4147 Před rokem

      @@theplaintruth4794 Thank you for sharing........I could say so much about this topic, the truth is in most things in life, how trustworthy is the other person? Doesn't matter if its a mechanic fixing your car, or the simple task of getting a hair cut, you are at the mercy to some extant of the other person. I have honored the request of many who a few years down the road contacted me with the concern of photos becoming public. I even removed their photos from my collection as to not by mistake post one somewhere. I guess your best bet is contact the photographer share your concerns, see what he thinks. Most photographers I know are willing to work with people which helps their reputation in this forum. The down side, as I started with from car repair to haircuts to photography most are honest, but sad to say some are not. This is a guess, but it sounds like your experience was was not resent, but more in the past, if months or even years have gone by and they haven't appeared in some forum, odds are it may have been more for his private collection, or just the photographers just working on his skill level, never meant for public viewing.

  • @veraleroy1587
    @veraleroy1587 Před 3 měsíci

    If you made a 4,000 people survey study, we want to know a lot more, about it. Wow ! That´s a great and very good job ! ps. you both seem like a great couple. Blessings

  • @astcell
    @astcell Před rokem +15

    Video starts at 3:07

  • @MostafaShow_
    @MostafaShow_ Před 2 lety +1

    this was a great video... tnx a lot

  • @georgejones5960
    @georgejones5960 Před rokem +13

    While I've always given women I have dated and been interested in full attention and good treatment am limited with fantasies. I guess one and only one would be voyeurism, I have had my partner wear a nice dress or attire of her choice and play in public, restaurants' etc. Not a fan of multiple partners because I have seen things go south and do understand that that relationship would have to be sound with both people on the same page!

  • @ThePlaySpace-CurtainCall

    I really dig this video. You two have an excellent duo presentation and decent information. (I will say your BDSM definition is slightly wrong. It's Bondage, Discipline, DOMINANCE, SUBMISSION, and Sadomasochism.) Your writing is good too. Your speech structure is slightly off, but if I were to judge you in a forensics round, I'd probably give you a 400 out of 500 just because your information and presentation was so good. Do yourselves a favor and make friends with me. I have another friend who has a great BDSM podcast and I think you two would enjoy appearing on it. I did it twice and it was a lot of fun. Keep up the good work. You earned a new subscriber.

    • @abs1090
      @abs1090 Před rokem +4

      ‘Do yourselves a favour and make friends with me’ - sounds manipulative man, chill out a bit

    • @ThePlaySpace-CurtainCall
      @ThePlaySpace-CurtainCall Před rokem

      @@abs1090 I'd call that a matter of perception in this case. Possibly projection. I'd just like to introduce them to a show host that they might like visiting. I know he'd like to have them on.

  • @khanjanki8207
    @khanjanki8207 Před rokem +1

    Nice one Post more please

  • @omerabdullah1270
    @omerabdullah1270 Před rokem +8

    I'm already unique as I'm not into most common fantasy :) I don't believe in sharing, the one I'm loving (physically as well as emotionally)..

  • @IntimateCuriosity
    @IntimateCuriosity Před 10 měsíci +1

    Interesting insight🤔😛

    • @1Whitetail
      @1Whitetail Před 2 měsíci

      My husband and I have tried several of them and I have to admit we loved them. Give them a try and see if you enjoy them. 😊

  • @larryboles629
    @larryboles629 Před rokem

    Spot On!!

  • @shineon7641
    @shineon7641 Před rokem +1

    I'm having a bit of difficulty believing the #1 Fantasy. I think that this is because Fantasies in this category are possibly the easiest to have realized. This category was at one time, way up there on my "Fuck-It List," until such time as I had the opportunity to actually live them. At which point I found most of them to be best left as a fantasy... for me. Scenarios with multiple partners at one time, always seemed to be so much more clumsy & awkward, IRL, than they were in my Fantasies and this was the case even if everyone involved knew each other well and liked each other?! Sad, but true... for me.
    Thank you two for sharing this with the rest of us out here in the Internet-Land. Keep Smiling... Cheers...

  • @VTPSTTU
    @VTPSTTU Před rokem +7

    Thanks for the video.
    I'm surprised more people don't fantasize about winning the lottery or becoming wealthy in some other way so that they don't have the other pressures of life interfering with their sex lives. I think most people would have more sex if they weren't worried about making the next car payment or something like that.

  • @davidphillips3939
    @davidphillips3939 Před rokem +4

    How lucky is this husband I mean really bud loving the dream

  • @sarahdavid147
    @sarahdavid147 Před 2 lety +13

    I like that the premise of this video ends up being your fantasies and desires are totally normal and OK

    • @vanessaandxander
      @vanessaandxander  Před 2 lety

      Yes! We also have a podcast episode you might be interested in coming out this week, if you liked this video! Check it out here: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pillow-talks/id1569466131.

    • @pokemonpat1254
      @pokemonpat1254 Před rokem

      What’s your fantasies?

  • @alikhan.3265
    @alikhan.3265 Před rokem

    nice to view your video.. good one.. well my fanatases changed over the years.. my fantasy was to have an older girl , when 7 years old... and now at 67 i like ladies in their 40s and early 50s... in both cases younger than me..😂😅😝

  • @vegasilkit
    @vegasilkit Před rokem +3

    Love the little chuckle after she says, "sado-masochism."

  • @leafaniyt6885
    @leafaniyt6885 Před rokem +41

    I fantasize about masochism and group sex! I felt like i was messed up for enjoying masochism but you guys really help me feel like i fit in 😊 (i enjoy both inflicting and receiving pain)

    • @FK-we1dp
      @FK-we1dp Před rokem

      You have a damaged mind. Childhood trauma

    • @lovely7777Q
      @lovely7777Q Před rokem

      You sick. You need Jesus deliverance

    • @willybigmac7629
      @willybigmac7629 Před rokem +3

      Anything you desire girl

    • @Leenas-Toe-Sucker
      @Leenas-Toe-Sucker Před rokem

      @LeafiniYT I am a Muslim Arab guy who’s always been into mild masochism. The reason I mention my culture and religion is because I feel they’ve contributed to the entrenchment and strengthening of my fantasies. for example, being unmarried and A somewhat observant Muslim means I’ve never engaged in sexual contact and I also recently gave up masturbation after finding out it was prohibited. that means a lot of built-up sexual frustration. secondly, despite being born and raised, and still living in the UK, in my Arab cultural background, there are certain etiquettes including never pointing your feet at anyone and Women being more submissive than men. you’ll understand why I am mentioning this once I explain my desires.
      Basically, I fantasise about young women, preferably aged between 18 and 25, humiliating me by kicking and trampling me when they have no socks on as well as insulting me and spitting at me with as much saliva, mucus and phlegm as they can cough up. I especially have a preference for Arab girls and throughout the day and night I constantly fantasise about some Arab girls blackmailing me. for example, I fantasise about scenarios where my sisters friends catching me doing something I shouldn’t, for example, smoking. I then imagine them threatening to tell my parents unless I agree to kiss their Bare feet, give them foot massages and agree to let them take turns spitting in my face. even better if they take videos/ pictures on their mobile phones. I know for some Arab men, if they were treated like this by women, suicide will definitely be on their mind, yet for me, it would literally be a form of paradise on Earth.
      The thing is, I don’t know if my desires can actually be considered fantasies, apart from the blackmail, I would actually want this to happen in real life and I would be more than happy for my sisters friends to trample, kick and spit in my face so long as they aren’t wearing shoes or socks. any form of footwear is a complete turn off for me.

    • @Leenas-Toe-Sucker
      @Leenas-Toe-Sucker Před rokem

      @LeafaniYT don’t know if you received my previous comment, it seems to have disappeared when I sign out, yet the video is showing that another comment has been posted. I assume you might have seen my previous comment through an email notification, but if not, I’ll be happy to repost it.

  • @Emlane09
    @Emlane09 Před rokem +12

    I started getting into weird guys bc my therapist is so quirky, and since he helps me through so much, l appreciate him! Once he started becoming attracted to me/acting sexual, l completely changed my tastes for guys and only want quirky old men lol

    • @alleycat616
      @alleycat616 Před rokem +10

      Sounds like your therapist isn’t very professional…

    • @Emlane09
      @Emlane09 Před rokem +4

      @@alleycat616 lol, well to me that was a chapter in my crazy life and l have had other people that he sees tell me he basically acts like an incel

    • @thanviHimanshu
      @thanviHimanshu Před rokem

      Girls mostly attracted to wired or bad guys 🥲

    • @DJXDyaboyimback
      @DJXDyaboyimback Před rokem

      @@Emlane09so basically he isn’t capable of fucking anybody else but you. You said his incel Lmaoo you sure you used that word right?

    • @ericfreshcorn3590
      @ericfreshcorn3590 Před rokem

      @@Emlane09 Where are you From

  • @jaredlucas4815162342
    @jaredlucas4815162342 Před 2 lety +27

    I have exactly zero desire for same sex fantasies. Yet am practically obsessed with lesbian sex. I “think” it is a desire to just see woman as sexually aggressive with no man there. Also just love females so love between them makes it even more feminine.

    • @jyotindramody9591
      @jyotindramody9591 Před rokem +7

      Most men are obsessed with this fantasy

    • @mf7482
      @mf7482 Před rokem +1

      No I think that you like the idea of 2 females having fantasy sex or foreplay (which I love so much than intercourse). But not any of them doing it to you. You want to keep the fantasy in the abstract rather than the real occurance.

    • @johnfromdownunder.4339
      @johnfromdownunder.4339 Před rokem +2

      The two girls fantasy is that without a man (you) these two are that keen to have fun that they do something they would never do because they want sex that bad, so in this case if they are willing to go gay they would love a man...any man really. To me there is a lack of confidence or self esteem at the core of this fantasy. We want a woman that is that keen for us that she would do it with a woman.

    • @kbanghart
      @kbanghart Před rokem

      @@johnfromdownunder.4339 I have fantasies of two women, but I also have fantasies of another guy with me and my wife

  • @princegoyal5006
    @princegoyal5006 Před 3 lety +21

    Can you please make a video on heterosexual crossdressor fantasy? A little bit expansion on these categories would be great.
    Informative video,
    A huge sigh of relief 😅😅
    I'm not the only one 😅😅😂

  • @pamelamcgraw3293
    @pamelamcgraw3293 Před 5 měsíci

    Number 2 excellent

  • @jamesoncass4867
    @jamesoncass4867 Před rokem +2

    Ludacris wants to know what your fantasy is.

  • @Jamie_black
    @Jamie_black Před rokem +1

    Consensual non-consent is surprisingly common

  • @timothyturigliatto7853
    @timothyturigliatto7853 Před rokem +1

    what about role playing games? naughty school girl ,naughty nurse etc.

  • @grace1008
    @grace1008 Před rokem +5

    I would pretty much do everything on this list with the right person I'm not really interested in sharing my partner I'm not into casual sex and hookup culture but I would do just about everything else on here tho

  • @mikesecor6074
    @mikesecor6074 Před rokem

    what style?

  • @dfrost666
    @dfrost666 Před rokem +4

    I have always heard of “forced sex” referred to as consensual non-consent. Not as romantic as ravishment but…
    Also, back when I was first learning about BDSM I was taught that it stood for bondage discipline domination submission sadism masochism. Did they shorten it down or did I just learn it wrong?

  • @edwardmcgee5465
    @edwardmcgee5465 Před rokem +3

    I guess I'm normal because I fantasize a lot, Thanks a lot

  • @dwaynereynolds2628
    @dwaynereynolds2628 Před rokem +2

    I think I'll sell my tool ! It just isn't worth loosing my soul

  • @GreySweatsGuy
    @GreySweatsGuy Před rokem +1

    Ludacris made a song about all this lol 😆 😂

  • @astoriakid41
    @astoriakid41 Před rokem +1

    I thought #7 would have been #1.

  • @samdrummond7179
    @samdrummond7179 Před rokem +21

    I have quite a few of them. I am a voyeur, fantasise about being tied up, blind folded, treated like I’m special to someone. I am the kind of person that nobody is generally interested in, so I often imagine that someone I’m attracted to sees me and has to have me.
    I also have a real fantasy fantasy, I imagine being taken by a werewolf by force. (I am ftm transgender)

    • @kbanghart
      @kbanghart Před rokem +1

      That sounds interesting and hot. My wife and I are also looking for someone

    • @samdrummond7179
      @samdrummond7179 Před rokem

      @@kbanghart I suspect that I will live too far away. I’m in Australia.

    • @kbanghart
      @kbanghart Před rokem

      @@samdrummond7179 if you don't travel, maybe so. We might be meeting someone on vacation, for example if you visit Vegas or someplace like that.

    • @samdrummond7179
      @samdrummond7179 Před rokem +1

      @@kbanghart sorry but I can’t travel at the moment, I am looking after my elderly parents.

    • @gerardhayes2707
      @gerardhayes2707 Před rokem +1

      Which of you is the Dom on your relationship is it the Woman or the man in this video

  • @jyotindramody9591
    @jyotindramody9591 Před rokem +2

    Elaborate on taboo ones in a separate video

  • @williamsporing1500
    @williamsporing1500 Před rokem +2

    I fantasize about a woman who actually looks at me….

  • @tryksta7247
    @tryksta7247 Před 2 lety +14

    I have fantasies and it is too much of a pain in the ass to find women to go along with them without feeling kink-shamed. I'm tried of paying for fantasies as it is just too expensive. I kind of just don't care at all anymore except to say that this video happened to just pop up. 🤷‍♂️

    • @alexisc1195
      @alexisc1195 Před rokem +1

      What’s your fantasy?

    • @davidkanalos6710
      @davidkanalos6710 Před rokem +1

      My wife
      Won't let me hit that ass I made her bleed one time and that was it I'm pretty big 8 inches 🤪

    • @Smittysoutdoorsurvival
      @Smittysoutdoorsurvival Před rokem +1

      I want to know cause I also need ideas

    • @saah4516
      @saah4516 Před rokem

      @@Smittysoutdoorsurvival whats yours?

  • @angeldominguez3395
    @angeldominguez3395 Před rokem +2

    You never mentioned where you get your research from. Would you please include that. Thank you for video.

    • @Hmy8799
      @Hmy8799 Před rokem +2

      They said who the doctor was and how many people he surveyed over what period of time before stating any statistics-hence their consistent reference to that particular doctor. Haha I was thinking for awhile about this before it clicked and I thought oh! They mentioned that! The study sounds like it would give a pretty accurate feel due to the number of people who were asked period, but I’m sure many more steps were taken to eliminate as many biases as possible!

  • @LauraCordes
    @LauraCordes Před rokem +6

    I wonder how many people fantasize about fictional characters. I'm not saying which one/s fuel my desire, but they are my primary fantasy partners, and I end up dreaming about them often, and multiple versions of them, played by actors who can play them well, but not the actors themselves so much. Just the characters, and being in their world, or imagining my own world where we can be together. And my fantasies cross the spectrum from romantic to very, very spicy, but more often romantic. How common is this?

    • @theplaintruth4794
      @theplaintruth4794 Před rokem +2

      Little Red Riding Hood and being followed through the woods by a big wolfdog does it for me. It's a good fantasy.

  • @ToyInsanity
    @ToyInsanity Před rokem +1

    Mmmmm bring on that ranch dressing 👍

  • @lonnieparsons6068
    @lonnieparsons6068 Před rokem +25

    As part of our BDSM training, I learned to do erotic hypnosis. When done properly you can do an induction. Once they are under, you could help them mentally experience their fantasys

    • @Tasia932
      @Tasia932 Před rokem +2

      I’m interested to know more about erotic hypnosis 👀

    • @Leenas-Toe-Sucker
      @Leenas-Toe-Sucker Před rokem +1

      @Lonnie Parsons do you know if you can hypnotise someone to agree to fulfil my fantasies if it does not hurt them in any way. basically, I am a Muslim Arab living in the UK and since I am somewhat observant, sexual relations outside marriage as well as masturbation, under any circumstances are completely prohibited and off-limits for me. since marriage is a communaly significant and very expensive event, if my future wife refuses to fulfil my desires I will be in a lot of distress and it could be a long time before I get married again.
      Basically, my fantasies are as follows: I desire young women, preferably in their late teens or early 20s to disrespect me, insult me, and step on me/trample me with their feet, but only when they are not wearing any shoes or socks. any form of footwear is a complete turn off for me. most Arab women I know including family friends never wear shoes or socks in the house so that gives me some hope. my other desire, which goes hand-in-hand with the feet humiliation is that I want young barefooted women to spit in my face and perhaps weirdly all over my bed, with as much saliva, mucus and phlegm as they can cough up. i’m wondering if you would be able to help hypnotise my future wife and somehow condition her to love stamping on me and spitting in my face on a daily basis. I want to make it normal for her to treat me in this way, and for her to find it not only comfortable, but entertaining to disrespect me by putting her feet on my Head whilst watching TV and making me sleep at her feet as well as randomly and compulsively spitting in my face whenever she feels like it. deep down, I hope she actually treats me like this in front of her female friends. I also fantasise about her female friends joining in by spitting at me and trampling me but then again, that’s probably never going to happen.
      Sorry for the long comment

    • @Ablecore
      @Ablecore Před rokem

      Yep

    • @lonnieparsons5058
      @lonnieparsons5058 Před rokem +1

      I live on a boat in the Caribbean so my Internet access is often spotty. Hypnosis is a means to put someone in a highly suggestible state. The process is called an induction. Once under, you can begin exploring the fantasy. Here’s an example: You are alone in a mountain cabin, it is snowing heavily outside. There is a crackling fire, you are warm and safe. You are reading a book you find erotic and you can feel yourself starting to get aroused. Suddenly, there is a knock on the door. You answer the door and find two men seeking shelter. They ran off the road and saw the light from your cabin. You find them both attractive and naughty thoughts flash across your mind. This gives you the setup for the fantasy. My role is like that of a director in a movie. I often augment the scene with sounds like a crackling fire. Smells like a pine scented candle deepen the experience. At this point, the subject can imagine a threesome with two virile men. The subject can use her own toys or whatever she chooses. We discuss this before we start. I use a safe word and make sure the subject remembers every detail. There is more but you get the idea. Let me know if you have any questions.

    • @sweetandspicyandeverything5407
      @sweetandspicyandeverything5407 Před 11 měsíci

      This is demonic and it’s a spirit of lust controlling those fantasies. The person is in bondage and needs deliverance these types of doors open people up to demonic oppression such as mental illness, depression, anxiety, and not to mention it lowers motivation for other productive stuff in life.

  • @moonstarswater
    @moonstarswater Před 3 lety +42

    I fantisize about attractive masculine lesbians, I fantasize about the romance too, I fantasize about medical/gyno, but in real life I am pretty vanilla

    • @vanessaandxander
      @vanessaandxander  Před 3 lety +2

      Thanks for sharing!

    • @kbanghart
      @kbanghart Před 2 lety +4

      Interesting, I fantasize about anyone who is androgynous but also lost of females who have very very short haircuts, like a boy cut, that is a huge turn on for me. Also fantasize about my wife sleeping with other men :)

    • @ivorjones6618
      @ivorjones6618 Před rokem +3

      @@kbanghart the last one is easy to sort out

    • @kbanghart
      @kbanghart Před rokem +2

      @@ivorjones6618 LOL once we find the right one and the right circumstance, sure

    • @christinkham7602
      @christinkham7602 Před rokem +1

      When I managed a medical building , we had a Dr leave behind gyno exam table behind and I put it in my shop. I Never ever had a female decline.

  • @xenedraabourque1393
    @xenedraabourque1393 Před rokem +13

    I have a strong desire and easier time being more satisfied with consented BDSM receiving and giving. I prefer a dom but must be a loving partner or even what is considered a *switch*. I'm a sweet but bratty switch here. I'm very comfortable talking about fantasies. 🙂Subscribed.

    • @JamminClemmons
      @JamminClemmons Před rokem

      **Xenedraa Bourque,**
      I visited your homepage. Nice looking beauty you are. Here's a fantasy, that came real for you,.....us,.....(ME): - Nearly 18 months ago, I started a Yoga exercise routine. It was very demanding at the beginning, but after a few months it became much easier. I can actually, errrrrr, (allow me to be G-rated here), I can turn my face to place my ear on my lap.
      I told my then girlfriend about it where she told me to demonstrate, which I did, with mouth open (read between the lines....lol). She then told her best friend and the gossip train began. GOD! Why can't women keep a secret? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? !
      Oral self-pleasure can be achieved........oh yes.

    • @ericfreshcorn3590
      @ericfreshcorn3590 Před rokem

      Where Are You From?

  • @sgs1662
    @sgs1662 Před 3 lety +2

    Deep dark fantasies

  • @jonathanmcgough7548
    @jonathanmcgough7548 Před rokem +1

    Swinging or bringing another partner into the bedroom

  • @ThomasDeLello
    @ThomasDeLello Před rokem +1

    Ask Doctor Awrrr...OOSE...!!! 😜

  • @ayasreviewsandtoycolection7148

    The problem is when your SO SHAMES you for having ANY thoughts about other people and not them. Then proceeds to LIE and say it's "ok" but then proceed to get ANGRY once they're known. But it don't matter anyways I'm in a sexless/loveless marriage anyways. I'm just used to taking care of myself any ways all the time EVERY time.

    • @crypto_keegs6795
      @crypto_keegs6795 Před rokem +4

      Same. It is getting old something needs to change. Soon!

    • @lynnw5653
      @lynnw5653 Před rokem +5

      Is there a reason you stay? No offense but that sounds really rough 😕

    • @seancooney297
      @seancooney297 Před rokem +3

      Yeah not good people. Hope it improves

    • @ayasreviewsandtoycolection7148
      @ayasreviewsandtoycolection7148 Před rokem +1

      @@lynnw5653 we have a child/house/finances together.

    • @susanbane2747
      @susanbane2747 Před rokem +1

      Three of my girlfriends asked if I would dress as a girl and they didn't know about my secret being a x dresser and I loved that they asked me to and everything went South from there because they got pissed when I enjoyed it when they were in the Man roleplay are you gay do you like guys etc etc etc

  • @lotsofgtos
    @lotsofgtos Před rokem +3

    Same sex fantasy. Having a dominant man make me his submissive and use me like a woman on a frequent, regular basis !

  • @fctryoffetsh39
    @fctryoffetsh39 Před rokem +1

    No one can fo mine,can't find a strong ponygirl anywhere

  • @grace1008
    @grace1008 Před rokem +2

    I fantasize about role playing naked primal movements handcuffs and having a partner open to practicing tantra! I would love to have a fun house with swings and mirrors on the ceiling whatever else.

  • @glenn7152
    @glenn7152 Před rokem +4

    What would u call
    A "NORMAL" fantasy?
    Mine would be mother/
    Daughter. 38yrs/18yrs"

  • @omerabdullah1270
    @omerabdullah1270 Před rokem +1

    I believe the more sex u get.. lesser the no of fantasies (as you don't have time to generate or think about them)..

  • @jenmonty544
    @jenmonty544 Před rokem +1

    Wow no way.

  • @PariahGrimm
    @PariahGrimm Před rokem +3

    Mine is being stranded on a deserted island. After 3 days a beautiful woman was washed up on the shore. Together we made a hut to sleep and other item you might have seen on Gillian's Island. After a few monthes, she started getting romantic. I let her make the first move.

    • @Matty2007
      @Matty2007 Před 5 měsíci

      What a pleasant love story

  • @lesterhutchins1621
    @lesterhutchins1621 Před 6 měsíci

    There about about what I need

  • @craigmonteforte1478
    @craigmonteforte1478 Před rokem +2

    in all honesty for my self the overall percentage and the types of results the Study found did not hve any suprising or any strange / weird ones that caught me off guard , more especially because of the Internet and all the “Free” Porno Websites, it seems to me that because of that being so accessible to so many people in different Venues and semimPrivacy it appears that almost every one admits to viewing it out of curiosity , i’m older than you guys and i remember when viewing Porn or even just accessing it was way more embarassing and harder my Ex Wife used to make me go to the Video Store and i had to go behind the Curtained room to,pick out videoes we could veiw together. in the privacy of our home after the children were in Bed

  • @angeloflourdes1235
    @angeloflourdes1235 Před 2 měsíci

    3:09 to finally hear list

  • @AlunethMaster
    @AlunethMaster Před rokem

    buff mages on world of warcraft

  • @warrenwilke6671
    @warrenwilke6671 Před rokem

    very vague

  • @X1Daring2
    @X1Daring2 Před rokem +2

    My fantasy is to do the nasty while wearing anime cosplay lmao xD

  • @johnfromdownunder.4339
    @johnfromdownunder.4339 Před rokem +3

    Conservative or religious people feel shame for these thoughts so they repress them but anyone that knows anything about pychology knows repression leads to compulsion. The more you try to push down yr nature the more it will manifest.

  • @theplaintruth4794
    @theplaintruth4794 Před rokem +4

    How do you let another couple know that you want to live out a fantasy with them? Could just asking ruin that relationship because now they know you are open to them? Are there indicators that they might be open?

    • @kbanghart
      @kbanghart Před rokem +1

      Do you know them? My wife and I want to get with another guy, but it has to be someone we don't know.

    • @theplaintruth4794
      @theplaintruth4794 Před rokem +1

      @@kbanghart I'm a gal, so can't help with your situation. Yes, I know the couple I want to test the waters with.

    • @kbanghart
      @kbanghart Před rokem

      @@theplaintruth4794 interesting. So you don't know how she feels about it yet?

    • @user-vx1ev6qc2x
      @user-vx1ev6qc2x Před 7 měsíci

      ​@@kbanghartI can help you. I am 30

    • @stanspb763
      @stanspb763 Před 4 měsíci

      @@kbanghart I would suggest talking to the woman, a lone about your fantasy, she is the key to the golden door. If she was at all interested, he certainly would be when she brings it up to him. Women have a lot of options, from flirty play to intense sexual involvement so whatever level of playfulness he would accept there is an option he would probably be willing to participate.
      Years ago wen married for a few years to the first woman I ever dated, I came home from work to find my wife making out with a young girl, the new neighbor who just days before had gotten married at 19.They were on the living room floor, and my wife was all over her. That led to me joining in, only interested in my wife. It turns out the girl has seduced my very valanella girl where everything both of use knew about sex we taught ourselves with the aid of a book back in the day "The Joy of Sex" that was a very big deal in 1970.Afterward we talked a lot about it, and over the years she added a few female friends to basic flirting and full on threesome sex, but she was the leader, the one who wanted to experiment while I sometimes just watched if the girl was not really appealing to me. That marriage broke up when she called from 800 miles away saying she had left with her psychiatrist she had been seeing for 5 months costing me $350 a session. They are still together 45 years late. I had become pretty successful in my several businesses, one of which was very high profile in the music industry, so there were always female singers who wanted to get close thinking I could make them a star but was not interested. I could have dated almost anyone if I was assertive but was still not over my wife which only made me more of a target. That is until I meet a beauty who was down to earth but glamorous and was done with guys. We hit it off and were slow to progress to sex, but we talked about everything and the more we talked, sometimes all night laying together in front of a fireplace , or on a mountain trail or in bed not even thinking about time until sun was shining in our eyes. We talked about fantasies and everything else, and one day she proposed to bring a new friend over for dinner and hot tub. The girl was younger, very attractiive, shy sunny smile. In the hot tub they started massaging each other then kissing and soon they pulled me into it and it was so exciting .Later in bed together they admitted it was a setup because my girl wanted to have me open up more to options, That started a new adventure where we added other couples, here there was more than just a sexual connection. During that era the concept of swingers club evolved for connection and experimenting among like minded people. Having no secrets and sharing thoughts, desires and imagination seemed to be the whole reason to have a partner, and community. The couples I have met seem to be very grounded, loyal, open and honest. The resistance to sharing fantasies is an indicator or a relationship that is not complete or honest. I do not know of any swinger couples how have troubled relationships with the partner. Once you can express or experiment with inner thoughts, a high level of honesty is achieved that typical doesn't exist in most relationships which accounts for the very high rate of divorce in western cultures now.

  • @bitchplease123
    @bitchplease123 Před rokem +16

    Can you do a video about the fallacy of orgasming simultaneously? It’s always portrayed as necessary for true satisfaction, but I’ve never had it occur in real life. I don’t think I’m alone in this and believe many women fake orgasms to please their partner…..I haven’t with my husband and love him for understanding that it’s not a ‘climax on command’ kinda thing.

    • @ericfreshcorn3590
      @ericfreshcorn3590 Před rokem +1

      Have You Thought Of A ThreeSome?

    • @tawnyfields-bennett7147
      @tawnyfields-bennett7147 Před rokem +4

      In my 19 year relationship with my husband I think simultaneous orgasm happened exactly ONCE. We were both so shocked we laughed because it felt like a weird 90s rom-com moment.... so I know what you mean 😂

    • @ericfreshcorn3590
      @ericfreshcorn3590 Před rokem

      @@tawnyfields-bennett7147 Hello can we chat

    • @bitchplease123
      @bitchplease123 Před rokem

      @@ericfreshcorn3590 so all three of us can orgasm simultaneously? I don’t think that’s how it works. Anyway would we add another female or male? I have no bisexual or voyeuristic desires. Think you may be watching too much porn…

    • @MickeyMack-og8mv
      @MickeyMack-og8mv Před rokem +4

      I can time mine with my woman sometimes, not really that big of a deal.

  • @dustinclark3390
    @dustinclark3390 Před rokem

    Here's one for you, I have a kinky kangaroo fetish. I like the cosplay thing a bit.

  • @ihategooglealot3741
    @ihategooglealot3741 Před rokem +1

    There is volunteer bias, so it could be less than 97%.
    Women bring the 'playground' so than makes them more likely to focus inwardly

    • @Hmy8799
      @Hmy8799 Před rokem +1

      Did you look up how the doctor conducted the study? There may not have been any volunteers….of course anyone could decline to respond if approached if this were how it was carried out, but check the study out if you’re interested!!!

    • @ihategooglealot3741
      @ihategooglealot3741 Před rokem

      @@Hmy8799 @hmy 8799 simply not possible to avoid volunteer bias in these surveys, how do you get a non volunteer to answer 379 questions? Even most volunteers start glossing over after 30 or so

  • @za1pp
    @za1pp Před rokem +8

    for a guy its easy. two women at the same time!

  • @garywilson9640
    @garywilson9640 Před 11 měsíci +1

    My fantasy is a 3 way. Husband watching me service his wife. Then when I'm done he services what's still in me.

  • @rfrancoi
    @rfrancoi Před rokem +1

    Great videos guys
    Subs +1

  • @mummyka.magarmachh
    @mummyka.magarmachh Před rokem

    Xander is faking smile and he is cooperating in this vdo.

  • @markh4926
    @markh4926 Před rokem

    When I want to watch porn I look for anything that starts with seduction. The only videos that have any seduction are generally lesbian seduction. I don't know why but just going from the title intro to full on sex is kind of boring to me, where's the tension?

  • @DCSk8er529
    @DCSk8er529 Před rokem +1

    Mine is taking her yoga pants off.

  • @rdeh1678
    @rdeh1678 Před rokem +7

    My wife says she has none plus she hasn't been with me in a very long time she always puts work ahead of her family

    • @abialo2010
      @abialo2010 Před rokem +2

      Dude she's cheating on you

    • @rdeh1678
      @rdeh1678 Před rokem

      @@abialo2010 nope we both work from home and are always together , it just she doesn't feel good about herself and is always tired because of stress of working

    • @granola1210
      @granola1210 Před rokem +2

      @@rdeh1678 hey, talk to her about it or go for counseling.

    • @rdeh1678
      @rdeh1678 Před rokem +2

      @@granola1210 I have tried that but she not up for it , but I really try to help her understand I love her for her , but she just so tired and stressed

    • @HashiramaSenyu
      @HashiramaSenyu Před rokem +1

      @@rdeh1678 you are deceiving yourself or she has a psychiatric problem. Sex is the basic desire of human beings like thirst and hunger. How can't she have it. And when you love someone no matter how tired and busy, you will find time to be intimate with them.

  • @Scout-nn4vb
    @Scout-nn4vb Před rokem

    Bearded men...

  • @listomachine6198
    @listomachine6198 Před 2 lety +4

    The cleaner you are the dirtier we get!!!

  • @mikesecor6074
    @mikesecor6074 Před rokem

    froggie style?

    • @Sheed96
      @Sheed96 Před měsícem

      lying down doggy style

  • @malcolmx7691
    @malcolmx7691 Před rokem +6

    69

  • @undergirlsfeetcrushme277

    Could you please post a video on foot fetishes

  • @lascarachialexandru7745
    @lascarachialexandru7745 Před měsícem

    Ff cel mai

  • @AlmightyBruce
    @AlmightyBruce Před 3 lety +8

    I fantasize about celebrities:
    Uma Thurman and Sigourney Weaver are my favs.
    I find it a little weird that I am a guy and I like being dominated.

    • @kbanghart
      @kbanghart Před 2 lety +3

      I don't think that's weird at all! I'm the same way.

    • @tryksta7247
      @tryksta7247 Před 2 lety +3

      It isn't weird at all. I'm the same but don't necessarily want to advertise it.

    • @bobbiecory728
      @bobbiecory728 Před rokem +1

      My hubby and i take turns teehee

  • @whoree
    @whoree Před 3 lety +11

    USE SAFE LANGUAGE DO NOT USE THE R WORD
    USE SEXUAL ASSUALT AS YOUR TERM
    T H A N K S

    • @ivorjones6618
      @ivorjones6618 Před rokem +1

      it is fantasy we are talking about here

    • @anushka6559
      @anushka6559 Před rokem +1

      @@ivorjones6618 still..its triggering

    • @ivorjones6618
      @ivorjones6618 Před rokem +1

      @@anushka6559 triggering what?

    • @dinil5566
      @dinil5566 Před rokem

      Don't use the S.A word too. Use intercourse attack as your term.
      Thanks.

    • @ivorjones6618
      @ivorjones6618 Před rokem +1

      @@dinil5566 S A word?

  • @dwaynereynolds2628
    @dwaynereynolds2628 Před rokem +2

    Wow what pig's !

  • @Rhian357
    @Rhian357 Před rokem +5

    I have a massive bad boy fantasy now. I don't think I want to be saved by a bad boy. I just want attention and be dominated. I love the erotic fiction that's available now!